September 10, 2020 • 9 mins
Karen shares two fun, strange, and lighthearted cases from Jacksonville Sheriff's Office, including an encounter with a "Jeff Spicoli in the flesh" surfer dude.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
So well, what she so? Well? You can call by,
but it does in bed? How do feel? This is
(00:24):
the f This is the new reel. This is Shattered Souls.
I'm your host, Karen Smith. This podcast contains graphic language
and it's not suitable for children. This is the new reel.
Welcome back. I told you before. I'm going to relate
(00:47):
a couple of pretty funny stories that happened to me
along my years at the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office. Not every
call I went to was doom and gloom, not every
call was a homicide. There were plenty that were actually hilarious,
and this is one of them, and it was actually
funny for both me and eventually for the victim of
(01:09):
this burglary that I went to. And here's the story.
I worked the entire city of Jacksonville, which was huge,
so I could get a call at the beach and
then follow up with a call all the way across town,
so I drove quite a bit. And in between all
that driving, calls would come in and what we would
do is, whoever was closest to the call, we would
(01:29):
generally just snatch it from h Q when she would
put it out over the radio. Well that's how I
got this call. It was a burglary to a restaurant
and it was way out Atlantic Boulevard, almost to the beach.
So I drove down Atlantic and on the left hand
side was this large restaurant and I was familiar with it.
I had actually been there a few times for dinner.
So I pulled into the parking lot and I see
(01:50):
this little old man standing there with his arms crossed. Clearly,
he was pretty piste, and I could see immediately that
the front door had been smashed. The glass had been
smashed everywhere, and I said, hi, sir, I can see
you had a break in. Can you tell me what happened?
And he was just so cross, his lips were turned down,
and he looked at the door and he goes, yeah,
(02:11):
they broke my front door, the glass and they took
the tip jar off of the bar. And I said
anything else, and he goes, now, they just took my
tip jar. And he goes, yeah, that's really expensive for
me because I can't put it through insurance. It's a
brand new glass door and all they took was the
damn tip jar. So there really wasn't a whole lot
for me to do. So I processed what I could,
(02:32):
the crossbar on the door, the bar, really, that was
about it. No shoeprints, no nothing, just a bunch of
broken glass. So I did what I could and I left.
Two or three days later, I hear a call go
over the radio and it's the same address. And I
looked at the call on my laptop and I said,
you've got to be kidding me. Not again. So I said, HQ,
(02:52):
just send that call to me ten four. So I
get the screen and sure enough, it's the same restaurant.
So I drove across town to Atlantic Boulevard, pulled in
the parking lot, and that same man was standing there
in the exact same spot with the exact same expression
on his face. So I got out of my van
and he looked at me, and I looked at him
and I said, your glass got broken again. He goes, yeah,
(03:13):
and the son of a bit took my tip jar again. Okay,
so brand new glass door took the tip jar and
nothing else. He said, no, nothing else. They just took
the tip jar and I processed it again. He was
really piste off. It was another three out of his wallet.
He couldn't put it through his insurance, and I said, sir,
let me give you a piece of advice. Let's not
leave the tip jar on the counter anymore. And he goes, well,
(03:35):
I didn't plan to. I'm like, okay, all right, just
trying to help. Two or three days later, sure enough,
another call came in. I had to laugh because I said, HQ,
send it to me, and before I could finish my sentence,
HQ goes ten, sending it to you. Drive out, same man,
same position. Now he's smiling. He's looking at me and
he's actually got a smile on his face. And I thought,
(03:57):
oh my god, what the hell is going on here?
So I pulled in, I got out. I stood next
to my door and I kind of chuckled, and he
stood there and he kind of chuckled back, and I
said again and he goes, oh, yeah, yeah, they broke
my door. And I said, I thought, I told you
to take the tip jar and not leave it on
the bar, and he goes, oh, I didn't. The tip
jar wasn't on the bar. I said, okay, what did
(04:19):
they do this time? He goes, oh, they took the
fucking Jack Daniels. I guess that's one way that trying
to do some community policing really didn't help. They cleaned
him out of Jack Daniels. I have no idea what happened.
I don't think we ever caught this person. I'm assuming
it was probably somebody desperate. Alcohol tip jar kind of
(04:40):
includes maybe somebody that was homeless or somebody that was
just desperate. Regardless, the poor man had to fix his
door again. He didn't leave the tip jar on the bar,
and I think he started hiding the liquor behind the
bar as well. But that was the last call I got.
So there's one fun story for you, guys. I have
one more. This was also toward the beaches, and it
was also a burglary, but it was probably the strangest
(05:03):
call I've ever had. I drive out to this kind
of rundown apartment complex. So I get there and it's
a two story building and it's kind of a beachy building,
beige with like light blue doors and light blue trim,
and I see this dude. And I don't know how
else to describe this guy. But if any of you
have seen Fast Times at Ridgemont High, I swear to
god it was Jeff Spicoli in the flesh. It was
(05:26):
a surfer guy. He had the pooka bee necklace, he
had the board shorts, flip flops, long stringy blonde hair,
and he was just kind of standing there against the building,
and I thought, well, maybe that's my dude. So I
walked over and said, sir, are you the one that
reported a burglary? And he goes, oh, dude, yeah, I
came home from really righteous day on the beach. Somebody
(05:51):
took my most favorite surfboard from inside my living room.
Well that's that kind of sucks. So he walked upstairs
to a second floor apartment and I could see through
the living room that he had four or five surfboards
kind of stacked against the wall in there, and there
was a big space between them, and I thought, well, okay,
that's obviously where the surfboard was. But I looked at
(06:13):
the front door, and I looked at the windows that
were out front, and I said, well, I don't see
any signs of forced entry. Are you sure that somebody
came in that you didn't know? If you have a roommate,
you have somebody that used to live here that maybe
had access And he goes, no, I live here alone.
And I know that somebody was inside my apartment. Okay,
(06:33):
how do you know this? And he goes, well, let
me explain my story. Oh, this ought to be good.
Go ahead. Tell me. I am part Native American, and
because I am part Native American, I like feathers. Okay,
and I leave my feathers that I find on the
(06:55):
outside of my window sill, and you can see them
here therapeut a full. Yes, they are beautiful. Well, I
had a very special feather that was out here on
the window sill. And when I came home today, that
feather was not on the outside of the window sill.
(07:15):
It was on the inside. Okay, So you're telling me
that somebody came in through your window and then took
your surfboard out the window. That's my best guess. Okay, okay,
do you have a backdoor. I do, but it's a patio.
(07:36):
It would be out back. I said, okay, great, I'm
gonna go trip back there for a second. You hang
out here. So I walked around back of the apartment
and I looked up and right there, leaning against the
back of his apartment on the balcony was his favorite surfboard.
It was pink and white. So I walked back around
and I said, sir, what color is your surfboard? Oh?
(08:00):
My favorite surfboard. It was a beautiful off white Gordon
and Smith with three fins, and it had this beautiful
pig outline. And he starts crying. I said, who whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa whoa dude, dude, chill, your surfboard is on your balcony.
What my board is on my balcony. Oh my god,
(08:24):
Oh my god. And he goes running through his apartment
and he finds it on his balcony and he comes
back and he gives me this huge hug. People, I
thought that dude was gonna blaze up right in front
of me. He was so happy. Yeah, maybe you should
lay off the gunge and you know, try some water,
try some vitamins. Jacksonville was an interesting place to work.
(08:49):
I'll be relating a couple more of these two you
guys over the next few weeks. Oh and quick update
for you on the cases that I want to bring
forth for season two. I'm still waiting on the Foyer request,
but I am in touch with a woman in charge,
and she's working her way through it as best she
can COVID is making everything really difficult for everyone, but
progress is being made. So as soon as I get
that case file, I'll start writing and i'll start pumping
(09:11):
out some of the episodes for season two. So just
sit tight, but I'll try to keep you entertained with
more of these ridiculous stories out of my case files.
You guys, take care, be well. This is the new
Real
So well, what she so? Well? You can call by,
but it does in bed? How do feel? This is
(00:24):
the f This is the new reel. This is Shattered Souls.
I'm your host, Karen Smith. This podcast contains graphic language
and it's not suitable for children. This is the new reel.
Welcome back. I told you before. I'm going to relate
(00:47):
a couple of pretty funny stories that happened to me
along my years at the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office. Not every
call I went to was doom and gloom, not every
call was a homicide. There were plenty that were actually hilarious,
and this is one of them, and it was actually
funny for both me and eventually for the victim of
(01:09):
this burglary that I went to. And here's the story.
I worked the entire city of Jacksonville, which was huge,
so I could get a call at the beach and
then follow up with a call all the way across town,
so I drove quite a bit. And in between all
that driving, calls would come in and what we would
do is, whoever was closest to the call, we would
(01:29):
generally just snatch it from h Q when she would
put it out over the radio. Well that's how I
got this call. It was a burglary to a restaurant
and it was way out Atlantic Boulevard, almost to the beach.
So I drove down Atlantic and on the left hand
side was this large restaurant and I was familiar with it.
I had actually been there a few times for dinner.
So I pulled into the parking lot and I see
(01:50):
this little old man standing there with his arms crossed. Clearly,
he was pretty piste, and I could see immediately that
the front door had been smashed. The glass had been
smashed everywhere, and I said, hi, sir, I can see
you had a break in. Can you tell me what happened?
And he was just so cross, his lips were turned down,
and he looked at the door and he goes, yeah,
(02:11):
they broke my front door, the glass and they took
the tip jar off of the bar. And I said
anything else, and he goes, now, they just took my
tip jar. And he goes, yeah, that's really expensive for
me because I can't put it through insurance. It's a
brand new glass door and all they took was the
damn tip jar. So there really wasn't a whole lot
for me to do. So I processed what I could,
(02:32):
the crossbar on the door, the bar, really, that was
about it. No shoeprints, no nothing, just a bunch of
broken glass. So I did what I could and I left.
Two or three days later, I hear a call go
over the radio and it's the same address. And I
looked at the call on my laptop and I said,
you've got to be kidding me. Not again. So I said, HQ,
(02:52):
just send that call to me ten four. So I
get the screen and sure enough, it's the same restaurant.
So I drove across town to Atlantic Boulevard, pulled in
the parking lot, and that same man was standing there
in the exact same spot with the exact same expression
on his face. So I got out of my van
and he looked at me, and I looked at him
and I said, your glass got broken again. He goes, yeah,
(03:13):
and the son of a bit took my tip jar again. Okay,
so brand new glass door took the tip jar and
nothing else. He said, no, nothing else. They just took
the tip jar and I processed it again. He was
really piste off. It was another three out of his wallet.
He couldn't put it through his insurance, and I said, sir,
let me give you a piece of advice. Let's not
leave the tip jar on the counter anymore. And he goes, well,
(03:35):
I didn't plan to. I'm like, okay, all right, just
trying to help. Two or three days later, sure enough,
another call came in. I had to laugh because I said, HQ,
send it to me, and before I could finish my sentence,
HQ goes ten, sending it to you. Drive out, same man,
same position. Now he's smiling. He's looking at me and
he's actually got a smile on his face. And I thought,
(03:57):
oh my god, what the hell is going on here?
So I pulled in, I got out. I stood next
to my door and I kind of chuckled, and he
stood there and he kind of chuckled back, and I
said again and he goes, oh, yeah, yeah, they broke
my door. And I said, I thought, I told you
to take the tip jar and not leave it on
the bar, and he goes, oh, I didn't. The tip
jar wasn't on the bar. I said, okay, what did
(04:19):
they do this time? He goes, oh, they took the
fucking Jack Daniels. I guess that's one way that trying
to do some community policing really didn't help. They cleaned
him out of Jack Daniels. I have no idea what happened.
I don't think we ever caught this person. I'm assuming
it was probably somebody desperate. Alcohol tip jar kind of
(04:40):
includes maybe somebody that was homeless or somebody that was
just desperate. Regardless, the poor man had to fix his
door again. He didn't leave the tip jar on the bar,
and I think he started hiding the liquor behind the
bar as well. But that was the last call I got.
So there's one fun story for you, guys. I have
one more. This was also toward the beaches, and it
was also a burglary, but it was probably the strangest
(05:03):
call I've ever had. I drive out to this kind
of rundown apartment complex. So I get there and it's
a two story building and it's kind of a beachy building,
beige with like light blue doors and light blue trim,
and I see this dude. And I don't know how
else to describe this guy. But if any of you
have seen Fast Times at Ridgemont High, I swear to
god it was Jeff Spicoli in the flesh. It was
(05:26):
a surfer guy. He had the pooka bee necklace, he
had the board shorts, flip flops, long stringy blonde hair,
and he was just kind of standing there against the building,
and I thought, well, maybe that's my dude. So I
walked over and said, sir, are you the one that
reported a burglary? And he goes, oh, dude, yeah, I
came home from really righteous day on the beach. Somebody
(05:51):
took my most favorite surfboard from inside my living room.
Well that's that kind of sucks. So he walked upstairs
to a second floor apartment and I could see through
the living room that he had four or five surfboards
kind of stacked against the wall in there, and there
was a big space between them, and I thought, well, okay,
that's obviously where the surfboard was. But I looked at
(06:13):
the front door, and I looked at the windows that
were out front, and I said, well, I don't see
any signs of forced entry. Are you sure that somebody
came in that you didn't know? If you have a roommate,
you have somebody that used to live here that maybe
had access And he goes, no, I live here alone.
And I know that somebody was inside my apartment. Okay,
(06:33):
how do you know this? And he goes, well, let
me explain my story. Oh, this ought to be good.
Go ahead. Tell me. I am part Native American, and
because I am part Native American, I like feathers. Okay,
and I leave my feathers that I find on the
(06:55):
outside of my window sill, and you can see them
here therapeut a full. Yes, they are beautiful. Well, I
had a very special feather that was out here on
the window sill. And when I came home today, that
feather was not on the outside of the window sill.
(07:15):
It was on the inside. Okay, So you're telling me
that somebody came in through your window and then took
your surfboard out the window. That's my best guess. Okay, okay,
do you have a backdoor. I do, but it's a patio.
(07:36):
It would be out back. I said, okay, great, I'm
gonna go trip back there for a second. You hang
out here. So I walked around back of the apartment
and I looked up and right there, leaning against the
back of his apartment on the balcony was his favorite surfboard.
It was pink and white. So I walked back around
and I said, sir, what color is your surfboard? Oh?
(08:00):
My favorite surfboard. It was a beautiful off white Gordon
and Smith with three fins, and it had this beautiful
pig outline. And he starts crying. I said, who whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa whoa dude, dude, chill, your surfboard is on your balcony.
What my board is on my balcony. Oh my god,
(08:24):
Oh my god. And he goes running through his apartment
and he finds it on his balcony and he comes
back and he gives me this huge hug. People, I
thought that dude was gonna blaze up right in front
of me. He was so happy. Yeah, maybe you should
lay off the gunge and you know, try some water,
try some vitamins. Jacksonville was an interesting place to work.
(08:49):
I'll be relating a couple more of these two you
guys over the next few weeks. Oh and quick update
for you on the cases that I want to bring
forth for season two. I'm still waiting on the Foyer request,
but I am in touch with a woman in charge,
and she's working her way through it as best she
can COVID is making everything really difficult for everyone, but
progress is being made. So as soon as I get
that case file, I'll start writing and i'll start pumping
(09:11):
out some of the episodes for season two. So just
sit tight, but I'll try to keep you entertained with
more of these ridiculous stories out of my case files.
You guys, take care, be well. This is the new
Real
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