"Straight Lines" w/ Martine

Forget everything you know, because today's episode with the one and only Martine (Fantasmas, Los Espookys) takes every existing paradigm, turns it upside down, and shakes it VIOLENTLY until nothing remains but a big, gaping vacuum of endless possibility. Stream "Fantasmas" on Max... if you are a true Rebel Heart.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
HOODI who everyone, this is your weekly show update. If
you are in New York City, you can see me
George Severis do an hour of stand up comedy at
the legendary Joe's Pub on November fourteenth and November twenty fifth,
and the first show is almost sold out, but there
are a few tickets left for the second one. It
is a genuine dream come true to do Joe's Pub,
so I would really love to see some glamour girls

(00:21):
in the crowd. And you can get tickets to both
of those shows at Publictheater dot org. And if you're
in the beautiful Canadian city of Toronto, we are at
long last doing a Stradio Lab Toronto show on Saturday,
November twenty third at the Paradise Theater and tickets to
that show are available in our Instagram bio and on
linktree dot com slash Stradio Lab. And there, I have

(00:44):
to say, already going fast, so I would act now
enjoy the show.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
Podcast starts now.

Speaker 1 (01:09):
Wow, I haven't gathered my thoughts yet.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
Well what thoughts, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
There was something it all happened, so you were like, okay,
let's start. Podcast starts now and I'm I find myself
in that place between backstage and on stage, and I'm
telling myself go go. The crowd is waiting go. But
then I'm being like, oh, sorry, just one more sip
of water. And meanwhile the executive from the big network

(01:37):
has already left. He's like, this is not He's like,
this is unprofessional? Is unprofessional? What is he wearing? He
has food in his teeth, looks disgusting, disgusting gig I alert,
we do not. We have filled our disgusting gig quota
for the month. We don't need any more with this
little bitch.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
Yeah, that can be so hard.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
So that's where I am.

Speaker 2 (01:55):
How about you me? I feel like I'm in a
similar space, but I'm my imagery is more that I'm
walking from the back of the venue and it's sort
of like I'm sort of I should have come from,
you know, the stage door, but I'm making a show
of it, and I'm being like, okay, it's taking me
forever to get there, like yeah, in a way, that's
kind of fun. And everyone's like, oh wow, he's playing
with the form, Like I didn't know someone could come

(02:17):
from the back.

Speaker 1 (02:19):
Are you doing the thing? Are you saying hi to
people as you're walking, but with no expectation that they'll
say high back.

Speaker 2 (02:25):
Yes, just sort of like waves waves.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
Here to be in a room where all eyes are
on you.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
Can I tell you please. We're recording this live from
New York City, of course, and you know I've been
out of town, one could argue.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
And I went to, do you think living somewhere different
permanently counts as being out of town?

Speaker 2 (02:47):
Well, it's certainly not in town.

Speaker 3 (02:48):
I can say that much. And I was.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
I went to the Xuly last night, and I actually
went with some one of my coworkers at the job
who is in New York as well, and he got
to watch as people everyone comes up and says.

Speaker 3 (03:02):
Hi, Oh my god, you've been out of town.

Speaker 2 (03:05):
How has it been?

Speaker 1 (03:06):
Multiple homecoming?

Speaker 2 (03:08):
It was a homecoming.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
Wait where do you live?

Speaker 1 (03:10):
No? No?

Speaker 2 (03:10):
No?

Speaker 3 (03:12):
Oh yeah, I'm sorry. I'm keeping I feel like I'm
I'm like eating alone, like you're and you're like at
a table, you're like like tweeting, you're first, stay next
to me.

Speaker 2 (03:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
We put our through this ringer of like, rather than
welcoming them, we make them do the most awkward thing possible,
which is just sit there and make facial expressions at
us and just not be able to speak and just
have to be like.

Speaker 3 (03:39):
It's working. I feel I feel excluded. Oh oh, but
in like.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
A in a way that makes you want to perform
even better?

Speaker 2 (03:49):
Is it like reving up?

Speaker 3 (03:51):
Yeah a little. I'm like, what am I going to?
How am I going to get in there?

Speaker 1 (03:54):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (03:54):
Am I gonna?

Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yeah? Well, there's a tension building.

Speaker 3 (03:57):
What do you order? You know?

Speaker 2 (03:58):
Yeahs oh? Would I would love to try that.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
This is actually something we can talk about, is the
dynamics of talking to a neighboring table at a restaurant.

Speaker 3 (04:08):
I think we should bring in our guest.

Speaker 2 (04:10):
Okay, let's bring our guests. Okay, without further ado, please
welcome the multi hyphen it and recent star of Fantasmas Martine.
Hello Martin, thank you for joining us.

Speaker 3 (04:27):
Was I supposed to say?

Speaker 2 (04:28):
You don't have to?

Speaker 3 (04:29):
Okay. I'm glad you recognized me because it's it's like
a fifty to fifty these days.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
So how are you?

Speaker 3 (04:43):
I'm good. I was resistant. I don't want to overshare.
It seems to be like a thing.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
It's incredible to come on a podcast answer to the
question how are you to be I don't want to overshare.

Speaker 3 (04:58):
I don't I prefer I'd prefer to Well, sometimes I
just get too genuine and I kind of the other
person is kind of they don't know what they're in for.
They're like, I wanted to just go.

Speaker 2 (05:13):
We don't mind being challenged at all.

Speaker 1 (05:16):
You find that you get to that genuine place too fast.

Speaker 3 (05:20):
Yeah, yeah, I kind of like sit on the edge
of kind of intimacy. If it was a ledge, I'm
like dangling my little it's bitsy heels off the edge, some.

Speaker 1 (05:34):
Of the tiniest heels I've ever seen.

Speaker 4 (05:37):
Really, Yeah, like you're lying, wait and I and so
it's the cliff that the waves crashing on the rocks,
and I'm scared.

Speaker 3 (05:48):
I'm like, is she going to get that intimate?

Speaker 1 (05:50):
And then if it's yeah, that's that. And so then
every time someone starts a conversation with you, it's a
little tap on your shoulder. But if it's if it's
too much.

Speaker 3 (06:00):
Wait, it's like a real it's like a push.

Speaker 2 (06:03):
Yeah yeah, well that must be really hard.

Speaker 3 (06:05):
But I'm gonna what did I say?

Speaker 1 (06:07):
Good?

Speaker 2 (06:08):
You said you were good.

Speaker 3 (06:09):
I think that's true.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
See, now you're hanging off the ledge. The word good
brought you from sitting on the edge to hang off,
hanging by one hand.

Speaker 3 (06:19):
There's like a yeah, there's like an old you know,
twisted tree I'm holding Yeah. Yeah, yeah, so dangerous and
it's got a chill. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:29):
And the fog you actually can't see the bottom.

Speaker 3 (06:31):
Of No, you could hear.

Speaker 2 (06:33):
You can hear. Oh in the salt, the salt in
the air.

Speaker 3 (06:36):
Yeah, gorgeous. I mean that's why I look like that.
I mean it does.

Speaker 1 (06:40):
Really, it was amazing. It's a double edged story because
on the one hand you're you might die, but on
the other hand, you look snatched as hell.

Speaker 3 (06:47):
Yeah you, I mean as you. How else would you
want to go?

Speaker 1 (06:50):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (06:51):
Yeah, Martine. Can I ask a personal question? I've never
seen this show. How personal are Yeah?

Speaker 2 (07:01):
Yeah, okay, I want to know what in your life
changed when you messaged me I'm ready to do a podcast.

Speaker 1 (07:07):
Oh yeah, Because we actually have been trying to get
you on for approximately five years.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
And then one day I got this beautiful message that
said I'm ready to do a podcast. Yeah, And I
said this something has changed.

Speaker 3 (07:18):
Yeah, it did changed it. I don't I don't enjoy
this Okay, I don't.

Speaker 2 (07:30):
Well it's a curse.

Speaker 3 (07:32):
Yeah, I don't enjoy inhabiting this body and being on earth,
but I I have made the best of it. Sure,
and I think and I I was on Julio Show again,
but this time everyone you know, everyone gagged, Well they gagged,

(07:56):
they gagged and I and I and I was told
I have to do more press. Yeah. I was told
there were forced by by Julio. I didn't say that.
I didn't say that, but you don't deny it. I
he didn't specifically say that. It was it was made

(08:21):
clear to me that I can't just be this kind
of anonymous figure.

Speaker 2 (08:26):
So you're breaking your silence.

Speaker 3 (08:28):
Yeah, and you have asked and I was like, oh
I won't. It won't be like totally foreign for me
to It's gonna it's like me stepping into.

Speaker 1 (08:37):
The this is your big debut.

Speaker 3 (08:41):
Yeah, oppress, Yes, because you have like a lot of listeners.
Right well, I'm here because I'm here for that, I'm
here for two. I kind of feel like I have
nothing to promote though.

Speaker 1 (08:55):
That's okay, most of our guests don't. Okay, Yeah, So
just to recap, you don't enjoy this, you are doing
it because we have a lot of listeners and you
have nothing.

Speaker 2 (09:07):
To promote, but you are here to promote fantastical.

Speaker 1 (09:11):
Do you feel uncomfortable with the question, how are you?

Speaker 3 (09:15):
I don't feel uncomfortable. I just I didn't want to.
I didn't want to make you listen to something that
that I might regret saying.

Speaker 2 (09:25):
Of course, I get.

Speaker 1 (09:27):
The sense that I'm getting is that there is a
big secret, don't you. Don't you feel there's a big
secret and you're afraid that if you speak, you'll spill it.

Speaker 2 (09:39):
You have, you have a big secret.

Speaker 1 (09:42):
Don't deny it.

Speaker 3 (09:50):
I have a big secret. So it's true. I didn't
I didn't want to say it. But it might even
be two secrets. Oh yeah, somehow less dramatic. Yeah, okay, secrets.

Speaker 1 (10:11):
Yeah, we all have secrets.

Speaker 3 (10:12):
Seven secrets. Yeah, yeah, no, that's really interesting.

Speaker 1 (10:15):
The number of secrets that have is one.

Speaker 3 (10:17):
It's only one.

Speaker 2 (10:19):
One secret.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
Also, I would say two is literally the worst number
because at least if you have one hundred secrets, then okay,
you're like you like wear a robe. But if you
have if you have two, it's like okay, so you're
like a politician and your two secrets are like you
had an affair and you're like a bad dad.

Speaker 2 (10:34):
Yeah, and it's like that's actually not.

Speaker 1 (10:36):
And you took money from oil.

Speaker 2 (10:37):
There we go, that's a better secret.

Speaker 1 (10:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (10:39):
Yeah, you're paying you're paying for nice hotels, yes, exactly,
you're paying for beautiful dinners.

Speaker 2 (10:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (10:48):
So everyone. Yeah, so actually, if you have one big secret,
a way to make that better for yourself is to
have another secret, and then it will make the first
secret less.

Speaker 2 (10:58):
But to be better than that sort of how you know,
almost addiction starts. You're like, well, it's like this is
how credit card debt works, where you're like, well I
already have a little Maybe I'll just paid off another
credit card.

Speaker 1 (11:07):
Oh my god. What if someone was addicted to secrets.

Speaker 3 (11:11):
Collecting them or just having them? Yeah, I I don't
want to talk about it anymore about your.

Speaker 1 (11:18):
Secret, your two secrets. You don't want to talk.

Speaker 3 (11:22):
About your secrets, That's what I said.

Speaker 1 (11:26):
But you do want people to know you have them?

Speaker 5 (11:29):
No, oh, so we'll cut that out. Yeah, but this
is live, Yeah, this is live.

Speaker 2 (11:35):
Oh sorry, okay, well yeah, okay, coming at you live
from Time Square.

Speaker 3 (11:40):
Honestly, this building gives Times Square all the way that
played different hits as you walk through the tunnel of Hits. Yeah,
that's why I was late.

Speaker 1 (11:52):
Oh you got lost in the tunnel of Hits.

Speaker 3 (11:54):
Yeah. I just would go forward and go back, and
go forward and go back, and I'd got on my
phone and I took some content and then I was like,
I can't post this.

Speaker 1 (12:02):
Yeah, so.

Speaker 3 (12:06):
But can we go back there?

Speaker 1 (12:08):
Like the three of us, we definitely are gonna Oh
we're going.

Speaker 2 (12:10):
To go back and we're going to get some picks, okay,
and we're not going to lose ourselves in it.

Speaker 3 (12:14):
No, if that's what you want.

Speaker 1 (12:15):
Oh, oh do you want to lose yourself in the
tunnel of Hits?

Speaker 3 (12:20):
I feel like I can't. I mean it was I
was like half hour.

Speaker 1 (12:23):
What it was like, you were half an hour late
because you were in the tunnel of Yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:28):
I was like thirty five minutes.

Speaker 2 (12:32):
I want to say something about being thirty five minutes late. Yeah,
where there was thirty five minutes late is actually so
significantly late that you get scared and you're like, oh,
she's not going to show up that when you do
show up, it's actually a treat. Like when you got here,
I was like like there was nothing but like joy. Yeah, okay,
because it was like it could have been so much.

Speaker 1 (12:52):
Worse, whereas if you were twenty minutes late, we would
have been mad. We were like and fifteen. It's almost
like fifteen doesn't even count.

Speaker 2 (12:59):
We were fifty.

Speaker 3 (13:00):
Yeah, oh you were fifteen.

Speaker 1 (13:01):
Well I was actually twenty.

Speaker 2 (13:04):
Let's just say we were mad.

Speaker 1 (13:06):
They were mad at me. We did another recording before
this when I was twenty minutes late because of a
combination of subway issues and my own timing, and I
could feel that they were mad. Yeah, and I had
to overperform. Yeah, and I actually think I knocked it
out of the park because I think that pressure is
what I needed to stick the landing, stick the landing. Yes,

(13:27):
like a gymnast, Like, what's a gymnast?

Speaker 2 (13:31):
So you would love them?

Speaker 1 (13:32):
Yeah, you would love gymnastics.

Speaker 2 (13:34):
Yeah, A short little girls yeah, oh yeah, I do
love girls. Yes. And they can do anything flip, twirl, spin, balance, very.

Speaker 1 (13:44):
Strong, strong and elegant and graceful.

Speaker 2 (13:47):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (13:47):
And they represent our country.

Speaker 3 (13:49):
Oh and yeah Liaison.

Speaker 1 (13:52):
Yes, like Liaisons or the United Nations and Angelina Joli
figures if you will, and they work in teams and
also into So they celebrate both the communal aspect of
American culture and the rigid, individualistic, capitalist nature of American culture.

Speaker 2 (14:08):
It's a beautiful combination, but it comes at a cost
because they can only stay so beautiful and strong for
so long. Yes, so they die out.

Speaker 1 (14:15):
Very very young, and as soon as they are twenty
one years old, they're too old, and people are throwing
tomatoes at them, saying, old bitch, get off this stage.

Speaker 2 (14:25):
I don't want you representing my nation anymore. So it's
unethical in that regard, but it's still inspiring one the less. Yeah,
if you don't look into it, you would really like it.

Speaker 3 (14:35):
You both know so much.

Speaker 2 (14:36):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (14:40):
So anyway, the sticking the landing is when a gymnast
does a bunch of flips. You know, it doesn't count
if she then like falls flat on her ass. She
has to stick the land and she has to land
on both her feet and then do this.

Speaker 2 (14:55):
Hands up, hands up to show that she's not a threat, right,
she actually she has to land and then do this.

Speaker 3 (15:06):
I think I have seen this. Yeah, I think I've
seen this.

Speaker 1 (15:09):
Yeah. Do you like the Olympics?

Speaker 3 (15:14):
I've never been Mmmm?

Speaker 1 (15:17):
Maybe on TV?

Speaker 3 (15:21):
I I didn't watch. I didn't watch this year either,
but I had friends that were there in Paris and
they were telling me how it sucks. They were like,
oh my god, this like I got out and it
was like allegedly that Gaga performance was like pre taped,
so while it was happening, she wasn't even on the stage,

(15:41):
not like us that we're alive like this, not like this,
I'm here, I reached through my face. No, apparently it
was just like such a bust with the weather. And
I can't believe they made people swim in the scent.

Speaker 1 (16:01):
Yeah, it's crazy. Those people are all going to grow
like an extra limb.

Speaker 3 (16:04):
Someone got sick. Couldn't even like compete because of the
like pollution, pollution.

Speaker 1 (16:11):
Yeah, poo, how do you say poop?

Speaker 3 (16:16):
It is a poop.

Speaker 1 (16:18):
It's a poop.

Speaker 2 (16:18):
Poo.

Speaker 3 (16:21):
I don't know how to say poo in French. Oh
yeah that's yeah, yeah, that's my mom swear when she
gets really mad quietly.

Speaker 2 (16:34):
Really like when you erase the eye. Ye, you're like,
oh god, she's really it's.

Speaker 3 (16:40):
Like, oh it's bad. It's like the key. It's like
she doesn't have our keys were like locked out ship,
you know, one of.

Speaker 1 (16:51):
Those people that shefter when she's angry rather than louder.

Speaker 3 (16:55):
Oh yeah, no, she's not a yellows That's why I'm
like this, Mmm, do you ever raise your voice?

Speaker 2 (17:04):
Would you like to yell at us?

Speaker 3 (17:05):
Yeah? Yeah, I would love. I would love to yell
at both of you.

Speaker 2 (17:09):
Okay, yeah, go, we're open to it now, sure.

Speaker 1 (17:13):
Or if you want to surprise us during the episode, Oh,
that could be fun. Whenever you feel like yelling at
us when we say the magic word, what do you want?
The magic word is poop in the sin.

Speaker 2 (17:25):
But there's no way we're going to get back to
poop in the s Oh.

Speaker 1 (17:28):
Okay, so we have to think of a word that
we might say.

Speaker 3 (17:32):
Are they like kids?

Speaker 1 (17:33):
They you're really small children? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (17:35):
Yeah, yeah, you know what. Also, when you said.

Speaker 1 (17:37):
We're an educational show, it feels like small children.

Speaker 3 (17:40):
It feels like you're teaching me a lot. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (17:44):
And our first segment is called the Letter B, and
in this segment we say words with the letter B
for all our kids listeners.

Speaker 1 (17:55):
That's right, that's right. Yeah, sorry, I forgot. I forgot
for a second that first segment. Yeah, very ball ball park,
all balloon Okay, do you have any b words boobs?
You have to cut that show.

Speaker 2 (18:15):
Bress.

Speaker 3 (18:17):
Breast haw's an every child already seen one, both of them?

Speaker 2 (18:21):
Really yeah that one to two for years? True?

Speaker 1 (18:24):
Yeah, I guess if they breast yeah, but not for years.
You were not breast fed?

Speaker 2 (18:31):
Okay, judgment.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
Well, I don't know. I just figure, you know, all
American Midwest like that's screams breastfeeding.

Speaker 2 (18:39):
I don't know. Maybe I don't know you.

Speaker 1 (18:42):
You don't know if you were breast fed. Sorry, I know,
I'm I know I'm attacking you right now. But is it?

Speaker 3 (18:47):
How's your immune system?

Speaker 2 (18:48):
Amazing?

Speaker 3 (18:49):
Okay?

Speaker 2 (18:49):
Then probably have you never asked George how his immune
system is terrible?

Speaker 1 (18:53):
And yet I was breast fed?

Speaker 2 (18:55):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (18:57):
Were you breast fed?

Speaker 2 (18:58):
And how's your immune system?

Speaker 3 (19:00):
Mine's okay? And I was breastfitt. So what were you drinking?

Speaker 1 (19:04):
Yeah? Wow?

Speaker 3 (19:07):
Corn so corn milk.

Speaker 2 (19:09):
Corn milk so shocking. No, I don't know, I think
the real answers.

Speaker 3 (19:12):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (19:13):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (19:14):
I think before I was like probably not, but then
I'm like, well, I guess, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (19:17):
I have a question for you. Why was your assumption? No?

Speaker 3 (19:20):
Because it doesn't sound right.

Speaker 1 (19:23):
Because you're like, that's my mom. Why would why would
she be feeding me her breast? Yeah, I would have
been when you were a baby.

Speaker 3 (19:30):
No, I get that, but I think no, but I
don't know, do you?

Speaker 1 (19:33):
Okay, sorry, I can stop pushing this.

Speaker 2 (19:36):
No, I don't.

Speaker 3 (19:37):
I should call her texture titture and then maybe she'll
take it back.

Speaker 1 (19:41):
It's funny, like, how do I know? I just know
I was told. I was definitely I was told. And
I feel like there are like photos and like she
also photos.

Speaker 3 (19:51):
Yeah I seen those.

Speaker 2 (19:54):
On the internet. Me.

Speaker 3 (19:54):
Yeah, you post them.

Speaker 1 (19:56):
Well that was my one secret that I was trying
to keep. It's that I was breastfed as a child.
Well what's great is that then it was leaked. It
was leaked, and now you have another and now I
have a new secret that I'll never tell.

Speaker 2 (20:11):
Martin.

Speaker 3 (20:13):
I like talking about both of you more.

Speaker 1 (20:15):
Do you do you want to ask us?

Speaker 2 (20:17):
Do you want to interview us? Oh?

Speaker 1 (20:18):
I would actually love that because you know we were
saying this before. You look like an interviewer with the
gorgeous hair, the mic and the clock behind you, and.

Speaker 3 (20:32):
No it's not in the frame.

Speaker 1 (20:33):
Okay, Well the listeners will just happen. How much is
in the frame just your eyes?

Speaker 2 (20:41):
Like the two.

Speaker 1 (20:44):
I would love to be interviewed by Martine. Should we
just like do our first segment and then how lo
is it going?

Speaker 3 (20:50):
Oh? Well, I shall be more aware of my posture.
I thought it was just my mouth. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:58):
I think Martin shoud ask each of us one interview
uestion and then we should here for a segment.

Speaker 1 (21:01):
Okay, Martine, ask each of us one interview question.

Speaker 3 (21:12):
Stomach I'm hungry to it didn't me. That's why I
was late.

Speaker 1 (21:17):
Can I say something? I know it's usually you usually
don't comment if you hear someone's stomach growing. But I
actually really appreciate that you did. She's like, I think
it was a pretty demure ground.

Speaker 3 (21:30):
Yeah, she's cute. I I didn't prepare for task, either
of you questions.

Speaker 2 (21:37):
No, that's true.

Speaker 3 (21:39):
I did. I did do I did the homework.

Speaker 2 (21:43):
Yeah, you're like, I did the homework straight things.

Speaker 1 (21:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (21:46):
Yeah, that's different.

Speaker 1 (21:47):
We'll get to that.

Speaker 2 (21:48):
Yeah, that's different. That's not that's not the we're This
is sort of the preamble.

Speaker 1 (21:52):
Okay, okay, anything goes.

Speaker 3 (21:54):
What were kind of icons growing up that you.

Speaker 2 (22:10):
I can't help it.

Speaker 1 (22:12):
That you.

Speaker 3 (22:15):
Still look up to.

Speaker 1 (22:16):
Oh, icons growing up that we still look up to,
like as a child, you love them. This is so
interesting because.

Speaker 2 (22:27):
I have one that I don't. That's funny, Okay, what
is it. I remember being like reading a book on
Lance Armstrong when I was like in middle school and
being like, damn, this guy is really a good guy.

Speaker 1 (22:39):
The bicycle cyclist cyclist, Yeah, who it turns out is bad?

Speaker 2 (22:44):
And then yeah it was he was like doping and stuff,
and he cheated on schil Crow and he cheated on
cheril Crow.

Speaker 3 (22:49):
I don't know he dated ChIL Crow. Yeah, even makes
you have do you think had songs about him? It's
about cycling.

Speaker 2 (22:58):
I think it's about it's about cycling.

Speaker 3 (23:01):
It can't be that.

Speaker 1 (23:03):
He's like, that's what inspired him to start doping? Is
he heard the song by Cheryl Crow if it makes
you happy?

Speaker 3 (23:09):
Because winning really made him happy.

Speaker 1 (23:10):
Actually it's about doping if it makes you happy. I
can't be that bad. And he was like, oh, you're
right girl, yeah, and then he just like kept on doping.

Speaker 2 (23:17):
It's like time to live my life, time to live
strong enough judgment.

Speaker 1 (23:21):
Okay, no one's going to comment on Time to Live Strong. No,
that was good, okay, thanks Jesus Christ. So I guess
icons and I liked growing up. I do find it
interesting that you said that you still look up to
implying that an icon is someone you look up to,
because I'm wondering.

Speaker 2 (23:35):
Well, I think it's an ion and has bad taste
of icons.

Speaker 1 (23:38):
Because if my icon was Madonna, does that mean I
look up to her? Or I don't want to be
like Madonna, but she is an icon to me?

Speaker 3 (23:45):
You don't, I don't think so. At the time, did
you though?

Speaker 2 (23:48):
You mean like not you were inspired by her energy?
I was inspired by which album?

Speaker 1 (23:54):
I would say, I mean she was an icon before this,
But I do think American life was really big for Yes,
was really big for me. It was when I realized
that she had an old sensibility, that she wasn't just
a girl next door pop star that also liked, you know,

(24:15):
putting a whole bottle of water in her mouth. She
did that in the sex documentary.

Speaker 3 (24:22):
Oh yeah, when she could show you. Is that why
you wanted to be like her?

Speaker 1 (24:28):
Maybe I want you're like, yes, that's me.

Speaker 3 (24:33):
As a child, as a child.

Speaker 1 (24:34):
Being like, wait, that my icon is Madonna in Truth
or Dare do it? Simulating a blow job on a
water bottle?

Speaker 3 (24:40):
You understood that that was fashion.

Speaker 1 (24:42):
Yes, exactly, and then American life solidified it. And then
now like she's still my icon? Sure, but do I
want to be like her?

Speaker 3 (24:58):
Most icons are like ideologies, right you. That means that
they're on a pedestal or there's there's some.

Speaker 1 (25:05):
Kind of what is the Madonna ideology? This is it's
like it's like live out loud, like you are the
most important person on earth.

Speaker 3 (25:16):
Rebel heart heart, Yeah, push back when someone says run,
you walk when someone says walk, you run? Yeah, and
you can do you can do everything.

Speaker 2 (25:29):
Yeah you want.

Speaker 3 (25:30):
And if you're bad at something, that's actually good or
that doesn't matter.

Speaker 2 (25:35):
Yeah, that doesn't matter because you did it.

Speaker 3 (25:37):
Yeah you did it, rebel you did the thing.

Speaker 1 (25:40):
Rebel heart, Rebel Heart. Rebel Heart is actually like kind
of a huge idea.

Speaker 3 (25:46):
Yeah, and I carry I carry that with rebel heart.

Speaker 2 (25:51):
Yeah in the postal bag. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (25:56):
Actually, no, I'm not gonna shoot. I have to get
something digitized. Let's not talk about it. Okay, there's so
much we're not talking about today. I know I have
control issues. It's something that I'm working on. It's why
I was like, I'm gonna ask you questions, and it's
why it doesn't make me a great actor.

Speaker 2 (26:18):
Or as a whole.

Speaker 1 (26:18):
You're an incredible actor as well, you're a damn star,
but say more about your country.

Speaker 3 (26:24):
I mean, I came here for that. You remember when
you gagged audience.

Speaker 1 (26:27):
Around the globe, audience around the globe.

Speaker 3 (26:30):
See, it's more like, I don't know if that's true
just because it's available. I don't think that means you are.

Speaker 2 (26:38):
But everyone's telling you we're gagging.

Speaker 3 (26:40):
Well, my friends are, and that's that's really what matters.
I'm like, you watched it, watches I'm like, oh you
watched it.

Speaker 1 (26:50):
Okay, all right, here's a question for you. Who is
an icon you still look up to?

Speaker 3 (26:57):
This wasn't part of it agreement, This wasn't far. We
should have said that when we started this that you
also would ask me my question.

Speaker 1 (27:06):
I'm sensing a pattern here.

Speaker 2 (27:08):
Yes, I'm something a very really easily readable pattern.

Speaker 1 (27:12):
You're very thrown off by surprises? Am I correct in that?

Speaker 3 (27:19):
Wow? I mean as a maybe maybe maybe I have
some trauma that I ooh, it's like being.

Speaker 2 (27:33):
Traumatized.

Speaker 1 (27:35):
Yes, and now we have a flashback and it's a
surprise birthday party.

Speaker 3 (27:39):
Walks in the room, a surprise, She's like tears instantly. No, honestly,
my my, oh my god. What is it when you're
legally all had to drink in the States. I turned
my twenty first birthday in college. I was so excited

(27:59):
to drink right and I and no one was around,
Like I texted everyone like let's go, like I can
buy us alcohol, and no one messaged back. Everyone was unavailable,
busy or nothing. And so I went to the liquor
store and I bought like a handle of gin alone
because I knew how to make a gin and tonic
because that's what my grandmother drinks and so I'd make

(28:22):
those for her. And then I got wasted alone and
then got one text from my roommate who brought me
to like I don't know, above the library, and then
all my friends were there with the cake and they're like, surprise,
we didn't forget. But by that point I was so
like devastated by everyone kind of like being unavailable and

(28:46):
then drunk it kind of it kind of brought me
to like a happy medium opposed to like the escalation of.

Speaker 1 (28:55):
Like, so there literally was trauma, surprise, say trauma, and
that's why you're traumatized by surprises. But you're saying it
wasn't a trauma because it brought you to a hack.

Speaker 3 (29:07):
Yeah, I feel like that's not that's such like an
American trauma. Like that's so like you forgot my brid Yeah,
it's so not it's so not a it's actually not
drama at all.

Speaker 1 (29:17):
But here's the thing. What if the trauma is that
you succumbed to an American trauma?

Speaker 2 (29:26):
Wait, that's genius.

Speaker 3 (29:28):
You should write that down because you were like.

Speaker 1 (29:33):
This, I'm not like these stupid Americans. But oh my god,
I feel trauma because of my surprise already. And I
thought I was American college, but I'm as American as
apple pie?

Speaker 3 (29:45):
Do you think I'm like a Do you think I
give apple pie?

Speaker 1 (29:48):
No?

Speaker 3 (29:48):
But in that moment, in that moment, I would never
ever say you give apple what dessert?

Speaker 1 (29:52):
Would you say, Martine gives? Oh? This is interesting?

Speaker 3 (29:55):
Okay, Oh I think I know you know well what Okay?

Speaker 1 (29:58):
I think I I think you will give like a
sorbet that is a like a like a minty flavor.

Speaker 2 (30:05):
You know what I'm getting, don't you think?

Speaker 1 (30:07):
You know?

Speaker 2 (30:07):
In like like in a chocolate commercial, the way they
show chocolate like like doing this. Oh, that's sort of
what I think of you as.

Speaker 1 (30:15):
Oh okay, see to me, it's like it's what it's minimalist.

Speaker 3 (30:20):
One chocolate commercial.

Speaker 2 (30:21):
You're like the chocolate and a chocolate commercial that's being.

Speaker 1 (30:24):
Like still liquid. Yeah yeah, yeah, it's being shaped. You're
mid shaped confection chocolate.

Speaker 2 (30:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (30:32):
So we're going opposite directions. You're going in a more
like maximalist chocolate waves, whereas I'm thinking you are giant plate,
single scoop of mint sorbet get ready, leaf of mint
leaf on the Wow.

Speaker 3 (30:49):
I do love mint. I do love chocolate kind of
chocolate dark dark. Yeah, I'm a little thing.

Speaker 2 (30:57):
I don't know why, but I'm seeing like a spoon.
Like for you, I'm really seeing a spoon. Whatever it
is has to be eating.

Speaker 1 (31:03):
You give spoon.

Speaker 3 (31:05):
You're giving spoon and we're gagging on your spoon.

Speaker 1 (31:08):
Big spoon you're giving. This is interesting. You're giving little
spoon with big spoon energy. So you're the little spoon
that's a top. Oh my god, that's real, you're little spooning.
You're you're a power little spoon Okay, so maybe now

(31:31):
I want Sorbet.

Speaker 3 (31:32):
I know I'm right here.

Speaker 1 (31:37):
You should have a new drag character named Sorbet.

Speaker 5 (31:39):
Sorbet with the tea, I say, though, Oh, actually I
like Sorbett with like T T at the No, that's
very high.

Speaker 3 (31:48):
I'm Sorbette, Martine Sorbett. I do need a new last name?
You think you're going to get a new last name, Well,
I'm going to get married.

Speaker 1 (32:00):
Well to say so, then you don't have to worry
about what the last name is. It's going to be
your or do you.

Speaker 2 (32:04):
Not want to take your You don't want to take it?
You just want to make up a new one.

Speaker 3 (32:07):
I don't know. It would have to be really good.

Speaker 2 (32:10):
I have to what's what's an example of a good
last name? Not necessarily one for you, but for anyone. Yeah,
what makes the last name shine?

Speaker 3 (32:21):
I love alliteration better and short like what like honestly
like one to two syllables?

Speaker 1 (32:31):
That mint? Oh Martin Mint.

Speaker 3 (32:37):
Martin, Mint is successful, Yeah and beloved. Fresh.

Speaker 1 (32:44):
She's fresh, She's fresh. You love her breath before you
see her.

Speaker 2 (32:49):
When you hear that Martin Mint is coming to town.
You're like, oh my god, that's amazing.

Speaker 1 (32:54):
I haven't seen her.

Speaker 3 (32:59):
I would go to Spain. Yeah, I would go to Spain.

Speaker 2 (33:01):
Well, that's amazing.

Speaker 1 (33:02):
Well, Martin Mint has a place in Spain.

Speaker 2 (33:07):
Should we do that for a segments? Sure, Martin, I'm.

Speaker 3 (33:17):
Does that make you nervous?

Speaker 2 (33:18):
Well? Yes?

Speaker 3 (33:19):
Is this in the shot?

Speaker 2 (33:21):
Yeah, this is a video, This is a this is
a piece. And if you think we're uncomfortable with silence,
you're dead wrong. We actually love the stuff.

Speaker 3 (33:33):
That's my stomach.

Speaker 1 (33:40):
Wow. Hi everyone, this is George. I'm in the process
of editing the episode, and at this stage I feel
the need to provide some context for those listening audio
only and not getting the full video content. So basically,
what just happened is Martin, very slowly and intention picked

(34:00):
up a glass of water and took a sip of water.
And this is our reaction to that. That was a
beautiful piece. Thank you for that, Martine.

Speaker 3 (34:10):
I'm working the moment.

Speaker 1 (34:12):
Martin Mint's famous piece, sip sip, sip. Wow, Well, sip
changed the game. I remember where I was when I
first sat.

Speaker 3 (34:21):
Well, that's because we were both across from Martine actually yes, yeah,
there's like pre impost zip politically.

Speaker 2 (34:27):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (34:28):
Yeah, she premiered it in Copenhagen, but in an empty
room so no one saw it.

Speaker 2 (34:32):
No one witnessed it.

Speaker 1 (34:32):
It was just you in an empty room and not
being seen.

Speaker 3 (34:36):
It's about a feeling, yeah, sipping. Yeah, it's about sipping.

Speaker 1 (34:41):
People always ask Martin you know what is sip about?
And she's always been very adamant about this. It's about sipping,
and people say, no, it's about globalization. It's about it's
about commercialism, it's about global flow of capital, neoliberal systems
of waste management. Yes, and but but you've you have
a very rigorously formalist approach. You say it is quite

(35:05):
simply about the sip.

Speaker 3 (35:08):
I mean I haven't spoken about it really. Oh ever,
I've never really would you like to speak on it now? No,
that's not really what the work is about. It's about
your what you bring to it, your perception.

Speaker 2 (35:24):
Wow, I guess it's each each person has a different
relationship to sipping. That's true. For me. It's about childhood, innocence,
of course, and the loss of it needs to say,
because when you were a child, you sip with a straw.

Speaker 1 (35:36):
You know, when you were a child. You don't know
if you were a breastfit and so I think maybe
what it's bringing up for you is that you know
you were sipping something I.

Speaker 3 (35:45):
Want you to remember, but you don't know from what
or how, and you're afraid to know. Well, I'm afraid
to send a text to my mom and says was
I I can text her text do you want to
give me? It's Martine from Fantastic I have, so I
am like, oh my god. I'm always texting people that

(36:07):
I shouldn't be like people but help on projects that
It's like, how do you even have her number? Like
if there was someone who's supposed to get me here
today and I had their number, I would be texting
when I leave, like hey, this is Martine from from
the radio and they'd probably be like yeah, or they

(36:27):
usually they don't respond.

Speaker 2 (36:30):
How does that make you feel?

Speaker 3 (36:33):
Makes me feel like I tried?

Speaker 2 (36:34):
Yeah? The person in charge makes me feel like a
doesn't respond, a misunderstood rebel heart.

Speaker 3 (36:41):
It's like production, especially if they're cute. I'm always blurring
the lines.

Speaker 2 (36:46):
When someone's holding a boom mic. It's really hard for
me not to find them really.

Speaker 3 (36:49):
Hot, really Yeah, is it because like it's a posture thing.

Speaker 2 (36:53):
Or it's a posture it's a type the type of
man that would hold a boom mic like for a
really long time. Yeah, I'm like so strong, resilient, so resilient,
so supportive and plus sometimes the shirt goes up.

Speaker 3 (37:08):
There's usually ass or it's like crack or belly, but
it's one of the other.

Speaker 2 (37:13):
I'll take both, okay, but I.

Speaker 3 (37:17):
Never crossed the line, not yet. That's what everyone says. Yeah, TikTok, TikTok.
I think tomorrow. I think tomorrow is going to be
the day.

Speaker 1 (37:30):
What's tomorrow?

Speaker 2 (37:30):
I don't know, but Martine has a feeling.

Speaker 3 (37:34):
I mean, are you doing that big boom project tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (37:37):
Yeah, I'm doing my my show Night of one Thousand Booms.

Speaker 1 (37:40):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (37:41):
Yeah, I'm auditioning. I'm I'm sort of trying to make
boom mike holders get a chance in the spotlight. So
I booked the Bell House and we're having, uh, you know,
eight minutes sads people to come out hold the boom mic.
It's gonna be awesome.

Speaker 1 (37:57):
Interestingly, the people holding the actual boom mics necessary for
the event are all weak gay guys. So to sort
of flip, to flip the script, we have these you know,
strong burly men on stage. They're holding fake boom mics
and then little twinkie gay guys are like holding the
boom mics.

Speaker 3 (38:15):
That's kind of my time. Oh my god, I love
I love twinks.

Speaker 2 (38:19):
Really really, do you feel a great question?

Speaker 3 (38:26):
Or just as pets, just to have furniture cars, yeah, plants, No,
I like them. As as as objects, well, of course
I like to objectify them.

Speaker 1 (38:43):
Wow, they make it easy.

Speaker 3 (38:46):
Yeah, they're like asking, they're just begging for it. Yeah,
this is the This is like the little little power spoon.
Energy you're doing no, little spoon, little top power little.

Speaker 1 (38:57):
Spoon, little spoon.

Speaker 3 (39:00):
Is that does that make it? What is a twink
in that?

Speaker 1 (39:05):
If you're doming a twink, they're like a butter knife. Yes, yeah,
don't think too hard about it. It's like sip.

Speaker 2 (39:12):
They're a salad fork.

Speaker 1 (39:13):
Oh there's a salad fork.

Speaker 2 (39:17):
Yeah, Okaymartine truth.

Speaker 1 (39:29):
Or dare.

Speaker 3 (39:32):
Oh you know it's gonna be there. Okay, I can't
tell you anything. I dare you lick your notebook? This
was on the This was on the train. That's right,
everyone's watching just everyone knows it at home, everyone and

(39:55):
everyone's watching.

Speaker 2 (40:05):
I don't want to do it, okay, okay, and yet
she's still holding Oh oh my god, you're bad.

Speaker 1 (40:19):
You.

Speaker 3 (40:23):
That was nasty, but it was very rebel heart.

Speaker 1 (40:28):
That was very rebel heart.

Speaker 3 (40:29):
No, she wouldn't have done it.

Speaker 1 (40:30):
She would have pushed back Madonna.

Speaker 3 (40:32):
Yeah, no one can tell her.

Speaker 2 (40:34):
What to do. Well doesn't famously.

Speaker 1 (40:41):
I hate to fact check, but of course the scene
is that somebody doesn't do it, she does it.

Speaker 3 (40:46):
You're right.

Speaker 1 (40:49):
Ask your question of the two works you have shown,
Sip and licking the notebook, which was lick, sip and licks,
sip and lick, do you think sip or lick or
kind of like encapsulate who you are as an artist?
If you were to pick one work to put in
the Big Bionale, in the Big Bianal, in the Big Biale,

(41:13):
would you do yes, Okay, I think I.

Speaker 3 (41:19):
I've been trying to get out of this box. Yeah,
ever since I was born. So I would say nothing,
nothing can encapsulate. Whah oh.

Speaker 1 (41:33):
So you wouldn't pick either, You would say, I'm not
going to participate in the Big Banal. A.

Speaker 3 (41:37):
Yeah, I'm not going to go.

Speaker 2 (41:41):
To be asked to participate in in the of course,
we would all say no to the small bil of.

Speaker 1 (41:46):
Course, Well yes, I can't be contained in that box,
but the.

Speaker 2 (41:49):
Bigger box sure very reputable.

Speaker 1 (41:51):
That's sort of my approach to my career is I'm
not going to be put in a little box slightly
bigger one, of course.

Speaker 2 (41:57):
Put me in. When's the movement date?

Speaker 1 (41:58):
Let me in, Coach, Wow, should we do our first segment? Okay,
so Martine our first and then after that we'll get
into the straight topic. So your homework is going to
pay off.

Speaker 3 (42:10):
I know, I'm just aching.

Speaker 1 (42:12):
I really can't believe that Sip and Lick are both
not going to be in the big banale.

Speaker 2 (42:17):
I mean, I think that's what makes Martine such an
interesting artist.

Speaker 1 (42:20):
You are one of the most, if not the most
interesting artists I've ever met in my life. The first
segment is called straight Shooters. In this segment, we test
your familiarity with in complicity and straight culture by.

Speaker 3 (42:33):
I'm not going to do that. I see you texting someone,
I'm looking up.

Speaker 1 (42:37):
We're finding our list. So here's the thing, Martine. We're
gonna ask a series of rapid fire questions you have
to choose this thing or this other thing. Don't think
about it hard at all, just whatever your mind gravitated
towards and then and that's it. And the one rule
is you can't ask any follow up questions about how
the game.

Speaker 2 (42:56):
Works, or we'll get really really Martine.

Speaker 3 (43:00):
I want to see you upset whatever mumblecore or Dumbledore Dumbledore.

Speaker 2 (43:08):
Okay, democracy is under attack or damn Stacy, your mom's
a snack.

Speaker 3 (43:19):
Sorry, I already I'm not doing it right there, I'm
thinking too much.

Speaker 1 (43:26):
It's okay to think.

Speaker 3 (43:28):
Democracy is under attack. I got the job, or a
fuck ass Bob, I really want to Bob.

Speaker 2 (43:40):
Okay, looking expensive or smelling reprehensive, looking expensive.

Speaker 1 (43:49):
Object permanence, abject carelessness or Ultrecht in the Netherlands.

Speaker 3 (43:57):
That on. That one's a doozy.

Speaker 1 (43:59):
Yeah, I heard olaplex Alex final answer.

Speaker 2 (44:04):
Next question, Okay, Choo choo train or doo doo stain.

Speaker 3 (44:10):
This is a good show. What was the first one? Train?

Speaker 2 (44:19):
Do you want me to repeat the second one?

Speaker 3 (44:21):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (44:25):
Girls, so confusing remix featuring Lord or Burr. It's so
freezing it's gonna break the record.

Speaker 2 (44:35):
I like Lord period period. Okay, doray mi faso latido
or did you watch I saw the TV glow?

Speaker 1 (44:44):
Mm hmmm do.

Speaker 3 (44:46):
Ray from do ray mi faso Latito?

Speaker 2 (44:52):
I love it beautiful? Not well, I try.

Speaker 3 (45:01):
I know.

Speaker 2 (45:03):
No, no, that sounds like someone who can sing.

Speaker 1 (45:05):
I think you can.

Speaker 2 (45:06):
When someone's like no, oh no, yeah, that's so sing
your thought is like you want to say yes because
you know you can.

Speaker 1 (45:14):
But then you're like, well, they're going to ask.

Speaker 3 (45:16):
Me to say it's so embarrassing. It's like maybe one
of the most embarrassing things you can should we all
do it?

Speaker 1 (45:21):
Do you secretly think you should have been a pop star?

Speaker 3 (45:23):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (45:24):
Well, not so secret?

Speaker 1 (45:25):
Is that the big secret? Oh my god, secrets revealed?
Oh okay, sorry, sorry, I know the one.

Speaker 2 (45:34):
I mean I'm familiar with Martine's whole ouvra.

Speaker 1 (45:37):
Yeah, of course we all are.

Speaker 2 (45:39):
I mean I've seen the music videos.

Speaker 1 (45:40):
I have not seen the music videos.

Speaker 3 (45:42):
I took them down. I tried to take them down
at least there's some I can't take down.

Speaker 2 (45:50):
But and what you're Lucky's.

Speaker 3 (45:53):
Gonna have to wait until it comes out of the vault.

Speaker 2 (45:56):
Oh Martine vault, the retrospective?

Speaker 1 (45:59):
What about that is? Why his name Martin Vault.

Speaker 3 (46:01):
Martine Vault.

Speaker 2 (46:03):
Wow, that sounds really wealthy.

Speaker 1 (46:05):
Yeah, I love Martin Vault.

Speaker 3 (46:06):
Martin Vault is much more serious than Martin Mint.

Speaker 1 (46:09):
Martin introduces herself. Martin Vault doesn't even you know when
she's she walks in and you know that that's Madame Volts.

Speaker 3 (46:16):
Madam Vault is locked in the vault. There's Swiss citizenship involved.

Speaker 2 (46:22):
Yes, yeah, well it's involves beautiful imagery because of how
much is locked away, how many secrets are hidden in there.

Speaker 3 (46:28):
That is gorgeous.

Speaker 1 (46:29):
She has not spoken once until she writes her big
memoir at the age of eighty seven, called Unlocking the Vault.

Speaker 3 (46:39):
Dissolving, dissolving, dissolving, divolving vault.

Speaker 2 (46:43):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (46:43):
To mix metaphors like that is so Martine Vault can
never have to have the metaphor locked and ready, locked,
locked and loaded. Yeah right, But then instead of just
saying like unlocking, opening to go, dissolving.

Speaker 2 (46:56):
Evolving, is that is the Martine Martin Vault.

Speaker 1 (46:59):
And that is I would say, even more, even more
subversive than sip or Lick is naming the books.

Speaker 2 (47:08):
You said you're uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 (47:09):
You're uncomfortable. Yeah, say more.

Speaker 2 (47:13):
Let's explore that. I don't.

Speaker 3 (47:14):
I don't think I'm used to people like talking about
me this much in front of me.

Speaker 1 (47:19):
Sure, yeah, we do that. And yet, you know what
I mean, you're gaining power as we're talking about and
I can sense it.

Speaker 2 (47:36):
I think what you should do with the power is,
you know, just wielded as ethically as you can. Yeah,
maybe open up a school, the.

Speaker 6 (47:46):
Vault School, the Vaults for Girls, for dolls, for dolls,
the Vault School dolls.

Speaker 2 (47:55):
It does sound like you're locking them away, unfortunately, Yeah,
there's we.

Speaker 3 (48:03):
Have to keep you have to keep the dolls safe,
lock them away. We're doing this for your own good
before the government does.

Speaker 1 (48:11):
Artin Vault has not spoken once in her life, but
then suddenly she opens the Vault School for Dolls and
publishes her memoir dissolving the Vault, and then she's disappeared
again forever. Okay, Martine, I do I know you have
your homework prepaired, and I know we've edged you now
for forty five minutes, so I think it's time we
want to know what straight topic have you brought and
what makes it straight?

Speaker 3 (48:34):
Okay?

Speaker 2 (48:36):
And it's yeah, and before you almost said something like
straight topics. So if there's that's.

Speaker 1 (48:41):
Fine, It's totally fine. It's so up to you.

Speaker 2 (48:43):
Yeah, we don't really have rules here.

Speaker 3 (48:47):
Fun. I mean it felt it felt like you had
rules when I when I came in. Oh oh like
what take your shoes off, wash your him You made
me change my pants.

Speaker 2 (49:02):
Yeah, they weren't up to code.

Speaker 3 (49:04):
They weren't small enough.

Speaker 2 (49:05):
They didn't have enough reflective tape.

Speaker 3 (49:09):
You wanted velcro.

Speaker 2 (49:09):
You have to be able to see you at all times.

Speaker 1 (49:12):
Require all our guests to be an head to do.

Speaker 2 (49:15):
Yeah, you're stuck to that chair until until someone unpeels you. Anyway,
the show's over.

Speaker 1 (49:22):
Let's come down.

Speaker 3 (49:22):
Unpeel the gus, unhook her, unhook her. I am I
feel like I got the assignment wrong. That's okay.

Speaker 2 (49:32):
How did you get it wrong?

Speaker 3 (49:33):
Like straight things and rulers perfect?

Speaker 6 (49:37):
Okay, grids perfect? So you mean like straight lines, column stripes, knives,
knives have curved.

Speaker 1 (49:47):
Nails, no human nails or a nail that you hit
wrap paper.

Speaker 3 (49:53):
All straight lines. Let's winning. M hm. Oh but you men.

Speaker 2 (50:02):
Sexuality wise like homosexual, hetero heterosexual like colloquial is also
known as straight. Why would you expect me to know
anything about that, Sam well through your years of study
of course, right.

Speaker 1 (50:20):
I did hear his fascinating wanting a husband to take
his last name? That seems very straight.

Speaker 3 (50:26):
I said married, I would get married.

Speaker 1 (50:30):
Oh but it could be a man or a woman
or anyone. It could be who what? It could be who, what?

Speaker 3 (50:38):
Where?

Speaker 2 (50:38):
When? Why?

Speaker 3 (50:39):
It could be they? It could be them. Sure, it
could be whoa now.

Speaker 1 (50:52):
An interest see she's relationship.

Speaker 3 (50:57):
I'm open to praries. I'm open to I'm just kind
of open totally.

Speaker 1 (51:02):
Did I assume husband without it ever being mentioned? Yes?

Speaker 2 (51:05):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (51:05):
Wow, talk about straight?

Speaker 6 (51:07):
I know.

Speaker 3 (51:08):
Are you both straight?

Speaker 2 (51:10):
No, we're LGBTQ plus LGBTQ plus.

Speaker 1 (51:12):
Do you know about that? Yeah? Yeah, you have some friends.

Speaker 3 (51:16):
My mom's lgbt plus. Oh I'm half that's awesome.

Speaker 1 (51:21):
Yeah yeah, Well it only counts if it's your mom's side.

Speaker 3 (51:25):
It only counts.

Speaker 1 (51:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (51:26):
It gets transferred through the mom.

Speaker 3 (51:28):
Through the breast milk, through the breast milk.

Speaker 1 (51:30):
But if you weren't breastfed, then I guess you don't know.

Speaker 3 (51:33):
Then you're probably heterosexual.

Speaker 2 (51:35):
Well some maybe some of the breast milk like leaked
into the water supply oh, how would that happen through
through sewer systems? All right, so Martine, you've brought fourth rulers, rulers, grids, stripes, knives.

Speaker 1 (51:57):
Now a knife is interesting, it's.

Speaker 2 (51:59):
Quite explore that. What about knife red as physically straight
to you?

Speaker 1 (52:03):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (52:03):
Because to me, because there is a straight side, but
there's also the curved side.

Speaker 3 (52:07):
I don't really think of many knives being like curved.

Speaker 2 (52:15):
Well, that seems like erace.

Speaker 1 (52:16):
Youre on your you think knives are just one straight line.

Speaker 2 (52:20):
If you think about a knife, you think of a skewer,
Oh maybe yeah, and no one perhaps a spear, a
spear arrow, narrow.

Speaker 1 (52:29):
And I would say a sword is more straight, yeah,
because both sides are, you know.

Speaker 3 (52:34):
Well, but not all swords of course. Well, of course
many swords have a curve.

Speaker 1 (52:39):
Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 3 (52:41):
I was saying, like a switch blade.

Speaker 1 (52:43):
And it's like, oh, not like an eating blade, not
like a steak knife.

Speaker 3 (52:48):
I was just thinking about the knives I haven't yeah,
switch blades, Yeah, all the switchblades I have around the house.

Speaker 1 (52:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (52:55):
I remember when you had you had us all over
for steak one night, and and when you brought out
the steak knives, they were just switchblades. I thought that
was really cool. It was so New York.

Speaker 3 (53:06):
Run of my house. I'm gonna go No, no, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (53:24):
No, don't apologize.

Speaker 1 (53:25):
Are there you? I'm seeing more? Are there more?

Speaker 3 (53:29):
They're wrong? I crossed the out poles. I crossed out poles.
I crossed out runways.

Speaker 2 (53:35):
Runways are very well.

Speaker 1 (53:36):
Not, I know, because runways can be can.

Speaker 2 (53:41):
Huh huh drants?

Speaker 3 (53:44):
Dang I I have I have dated men straight men.

Speaker 1 (53:50):
Do you like it? Yeah? Do you like it? Yeah,
it's just it's just different, sure than women.

Speaker 3 (53:58):
Than women and I twinks and ferries.

Speaker 2 (54:02):
Have you dated a furrey?

Speaker 3 (54:04):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (54:05):
How was that.

Speaker 3 (54:07):
Really fun? Really sweet? It was hard. They like didn't
want to leave the house.

Speaker 1 (54:14):
Were they outdoor trained?

Speaker 2 (54:17):
No?

Speaker 3 (54:17):
They It's like at home, it was it was like
a double life. It was like living with a spy
or something. It's like at home they could be themselves
and you know, covered in fur and then it just
I don't know, they're worried about the being judged or something.

Speaker 1 (54:41):
How would you rank from gata straight men, women, twinks, furries.

Speaker 3 (54:47):
I wouldn't. I just wouldn't do that.

Speaker 1 (54:51):
That's fair.

Speaker 3 (54:51):
But it's all this measuring. Oh did I say ruler, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (54:57):
I'm feeling traumatized.

Speaker 3 (54:59):
Like Prie birthday style, because you're you're reflecting on yourself, like,
can I ask your personhood? Are we?

Speaker 1 (55:07):
How do you think we've been as hosts during this episode?

Speaker 3 (55:10):
Another measurement?

Speaker 1 (55:13):
Do you think we're obsessed with measuring?

Speaker 3 (55:15):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (55:16):
Wow, I guess it's true we are.

Speaker 2 (55:18):
But I don't consider it measuring. Consider it reflection. Reflection, Oh, reflection,
because I'm not looking for a number. I'm not looking
between one and ten. I'm looking for a feeling.

Speaker 1 (55:26):
You're turned off by our lack of self possession. We
are like that furry that's not able to go to
the grocery store.

Speaker 2 (55:32):
You think we don't have rebel heart, and we don't
think we don't have rebel hearts.

Speaker 1 (55:35):
You think we don't have ruble hearts. We know we
have rebel hearts.

Speaker 2 (55:39):
Did you hear how comfortable we were with the silence?

Speaker 1 (55:41):
So rebel heart, I see what's going on here. You
can walk in here our podcast and you're thinking.

Speaker 2 (55:47):
Oh god, these guys, these guys are hearts.

Speaker 1 (55:50):
They don't even have rebel hearts. They don't even know
what it means.

Speaker 2 (55:53):
Oh, they were like, Oh, they're doing a podcast on
straight culture. They don't have reuble heart, they don't have
rible hearts. I'll show them.

Speaker 1 (55:57):
I'll show them. I'll bring in a van topics that
are straight literally instead of straight figuratively, and they won't
even know what to do. I don't have to eat
their I'll do sip and I'll do lick and they'll
have some stupid bullshit to say about it because I
don't even get the point of my art. And now
here they are asking me how they did. You want
to know how you did? You did poorly? I'm Martine
Vault and this has been straight. You want to say,

(56:22):
want to?

Speaker 3 (56:23):
Sounds really stressful when you say like.

Speaker 2 (56:24):
That, this could be an amazing opportunity actually to do
that yell?

Speaker 1 (56:27):
Oh yeah, do you want to yell at us? No?

Speaker 3 (56:29):
I don't.

Speaker 2 (56:31):
What can we do to make you yellowt us?

Speaker 1 (56:32):
It's even more rude to not do it at this point.

Speaker 3 (56:34):
Well, usually people pay me to yellow.

Speaker 1 (56:36):
Oh yeah, like a sex.

Speaker 3 (56:39):
This is just just an exchanging of hands. Oh, it
doesn't have to be money. Could be diamonds. I have
a granola bar in my diamonds. What kind of watches that.

Speaker 2 (56:55):
I knew not to wear any jewels Martine.

Speaker 1 (56:58):
Vault only gets and diamonds.

Speaker 3 (57:01):
Yes, some kind of conflict diamond.

Speaker 1 (57:06):
Do you have any conflict diamonds?

Speaker 3 (57:08):
No, I don't usually wear jewelry.

Speaker 1 (57:09):
I have noticed.

Speaker 2 (57:10):
Is that true?

Speaker 1 (57:13):
Wow?

Speaker 2 (57:13):
Wow?

Speaker 1 (57:15):
Is it because you just.

Speaker 3 (57:16):
Want to let you have the metal detector? When I
came in and they made me take everything off in
the hallway, in the in the tunnel of Hits, in
the Tunnel of Hits, there's a big one.

Speaker 2 (57:28):
To the style of ripping.

Speaker 1 (57:29):
No, we didn't.

Speaker 2 (57:33):
Do you know, we didn't.

Speaker 1 (57:34):
Do you find that jewelry like would take attention you do? Great? Yeah,
we take attention away from from the work.

Speaker 3 (57:42):
Innate from the work, from the work, Yeah, from sip
and from safe and lick. It's like, let's focus on
the work.

Speaker 1 (57:50):
Yeah, the work. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (57:51):
Yeah, that's powerful because a lot of these artists to
say they come.

Speaker 1 (57:55):
No, they're going to the big, the big, they're going
to the big banale. Really bracelets head to toe.

Speaker 2 (58:02):
Yeah, they're wearing justcelets, just bracelets, various sizes everywhere everywhere. God,
but I do love a bracelet dress.

Speaker 1 (58:12):
Of course, I yes, No, I love a bracelet dress
and we're back.

Speaker 2 (58:27):
So this has been George.

Speaker 1 (58:33):
This has been This has been George.

Speaker 2 (58:35):
This has been George. And how are you feeling?

Speaker 1 (58:38):
I am feeling actually so relaxed.

Speaker 2 (58:42):
Yea.

Speaker 1 (58:44):
And when I realized that I was being power little spooned,
I said, finally I can relax because I no longer
have to carry I no longer have to lead this conversation.
I can just observe a master, a mistress at work
and as a longtime fan. You know, people often ask

(59:05):
me what icons do I still look up to, and
to me, I think it goes back to Martine Vault. Yeah.
I think her early work was instrumental in my coming
out and in my wanting to pursue the arts. And
then I think her thirty year absence was when I
grew as an artist. And now that she's back with
the memoir and of course the Vault School for Dolls it,

(59:29):
I think it has empowered me to be more of
a rebel heart too.

Speaker 2 (59:32):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (59:33):
How about you? Hmm?

Speaker 2 (59:38):
I wish I had such clarity, you know.

Speaker 1 (59:40):
You know a lot of people do, but a few
of us do.

Speaker 3 (59:44):
Welcome to the Vault.

Speaker 2 (59:45):
Yeah, I'm feeling like I'm in the vault. But it's
not like a sort of fancy vault. I'm in a
vault that's like cobwebs and old books. You think so,
And I'm a little like, get me out of here?

Speaker 3 (01:00:02):
How long does this go? We could go, we could
go anywhere.

Speaker 1 (01:00:06):
We're New York, the biggest vault of all.

Speaker 2 (01:00:14):
Well, I think we should step out in Times Square
and take.

Speaker 3 (01:00:20):
Time and get lunch and get lunch. Yeah, I'm hungry.

Speaker 1 (01:00:27):
No, same, Yeah, well it is lunchtime.

Speaker 2 (01:00:29):
That's true.

Speaker 1 (01:00:30):
They don't tell you that at the Vault.

Speaker 3 (01:00:31):
I have something to tell you.

Speaker 2 (01:00:34):
Can you say it now?

Speaker 4 (01:00:35):
No?

Speaker 2 (01:00:35):
No?

Speaker 1 (01:00:37):
Okay, Well, before we go to lunch, should we do
our final segment at the Vault? Yes, Martine Madam Vault.
Our final segment is called shout outs. Oh Now. In
this segment, we pay homage to the great straight tradition
of the radio shout out. Yes, So, think about like

(01:01:01):
shouting out to your squad back home. You're on the radio.
You're giving a shout out to something you like.

Speaker 3 (01:01:08):
My town doesn't have any radios.

Speaker 2 (01:01:10):
Your town, New York?

Speaker 1 (01:01:12):
The Vault.

Speaker 3 (01:01:14):
Yeah, mild down, New York, misled down.

Speaker 1 (01:01:18):
I uh that's gay joker, that's old.

Speaker 3 (01:01:22):
Did you see that, but we can still infer.

Speaker 1 (01:01:26):
Did you I?

Speaker 2 (01:01:26):
Did you think?

Speaker 3 (01:01:28):
I have a lot of opinions about it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:30):
We'll talk about them at lunch lunch.

Speaker 2 (01:01:33):
God forbid we share it.

Speaker 3 (01:01:34):
Now, come to lunch for the other for the other show. Yeah,
lunch lab, lunchio lab where we talk all things lunch.
We got our lunch on I I we'll do our
shoutouts first so you can see how it works. Yeah,

(01:01:56):
am I afraid to get it wrong?

Speaker 1 (01:01:57):
Is that?

Speaker 3 (01:01:57):
What am I like?

Speaker 2 (01:01:58):
I could not see that being at all possible to think.

Speaker 3 (01:02:02):
So that's good.

Speaker 1 (01:02:05):
No, you just have to channel your channel, your inner
vault and channel channer channer your in. It's like goosebumps.

Speaker 3 (01:02:18):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:02:19):
Yeah, well before I don't have radio in your town.

Speaker 1 (01:02:24):
Okay, Sam, do you have one? I can do one.

Speaker 3 (01:02:31):
Yeah, you go for it.

Speaker 1 (01:02:32):
Okay, I might. I might lean into the vault of
it all more vault heavy shout out, good evening vault residents.
I want to give a shout out to Siggy's yogurt.
You know, for the longest time I have been a
Thai ye Greek yogurt girl. I have said I'm going

(01:02:54):
to support my culture Greek culture and support a Greek
owned company. But recently I rediscovered Siggy's Icelandic yogurt and
specifically the Asaii and Marry flavor. We're talking fifteen grams
of protein workup mama, and I am having one every
day before I leave the house. It is delicious, it

(01:03:15):
is custardy, it is the exact right texture and consistency,
and I am absolutely living for it every day of
my young life. Thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:03:34):
I would like to give a shout out to Martine. Yes,
I known you for a while and you have always
surprised me and in so many different ways, and in
a way I love you know, following your journey and
saying oh wow, oh wow, oh wow, and.

Speaker 3 (01:03:59):
It's all please brought me great joy to observe, to watch, and.

Speaker 2 (01:04:07):
To run into you even at a party and say,
oh my gosh, and Martin was there. God, I say
that all the time. I say, and Martin was there.
And you know, I'm addicted to it, and I want
to say that the way that you I've known you
for a long time and yet you are a mystery

(01:04:27):
and this podcast I was like, the mystery will be solved.
And of course, what a fool. I was and am.
The mystery will never be solved and I should stop
trying to open the vault and just embrace the vault
is locked.

Speaker 1 (01:04:45):
Again.

Speaker 3 (01:04:46):
I'm sorry I couldn't pay attention because you were texting during.

Speaker 2 (01:04:51):
It.

Speaker 3 (01:04:52):
I was distracted, I know.

Speaker 1 (01:04:53):
I'm sorry. I was opening my own personal vault.

Speaker 3 (01:04:58):
That's so beautiful. The yogurt. The yogurt was so beautiful.

Speaker 1 (01:05:04):
Yeah, well you weren't paying attention to Sam's, but the.

Speaker 2 (01:05:05):
Yogurt was really Congrats on the yogurt.

Speaker 1 (01:05:08):
Yeah, and I'm sorry I was. I'm sorry I was texting.

Speaker 2 (01:05:13):
Apologized to me and my defense.

Speaker 3 (01:05:14):
It was really important, right, Yeah, I bet.

Speaker 2 (01:05:18):
Okay, Now if you have I.

Speaker 1 (01:05:20):
Won't text during yours and I'm going to make direct
eye contact the entire time for me as well.

Speaker 3 (01:05:25):
I'm so tired.

Speaker 2 (01:05:29):
Of the drama of fakes and the phones.

Speaker 3 (01:05:33):
Yeah, just like every day.

Speaker 2 (01:05:36):
Totally, I'm just the bullshit of the industry.

Speaker 3 (01:05:39):
Yeah, just like this town, getting through this town, this
falls town. I want to shout out my locksmith, yeah
for showing me how to break into my apartment using
your credit card, because now I don't have to pay

(01:06:03):
to hire him back in a way. It was so
generous because they like dissolved his.

Speaker 2 (01:06:14):
His job, like like filmmakers getting really into AI.

Speaker 3 (01:06:20):
Oh my god, yeah, like artists just it's really musing
AI all the time. Yeah, it's the same. It's exactly
the same. If we were to measure the two ruler,
I would catching, Yeah, I'm learning how to do this.
You're teaching me.

Speaker 2 (01:06:38):
You're don't little spoon us.

Speaker 1 (01:06:41):
We know what you're.

Speaker 3 (01:06:47):
I would love to shout out Brooklyn Ball Factory.

Speaker 1 (01:06:51):
What do they make there?

Speaker 3 (01:06:52):
They make balls? They make rice balls, ony giddy, so good,
Oh my god, the spicy sam men. Honestly, the on
all of them, all of them.

Speaker 2 (01:07:06):
Well, do they have a Times Square location?

Speaker 3 (01:07:07):
They just opened up a new spot. There's there's the
og which is in Williamsburg, and I think they just
opened up a new location and somewhere in the city,
but I haven't been there yet. But they're so cute.
Everyone that works there is so cute. And I sometimes

(01:07:28):
when I miss home, I go there.

Speaker 2 (01:07:31):
Well, Martine, this has been a really interesting episode.

Speaker 1 (01:07:36):
Oh no, do you think you'll submit this episode for
the Big b and Ala? As you're trying to reinvent
yourself and trying to move past sip and lick.

Speaker 3 (01:07:48):
No podcast and now want more.

Speaker 1 (01:07:52):
Subscribe to our Patreon for two extra episodes a month,
discord access and more by heading to patreon dot com.
Slash Stradio Lab and for.

Speaker 3 (01:08:01):
All our visual earners, free full length video episodes are
available on our YouTube now.

Speaker 1 (01:08:06):
Get back to Work.

Speaker 2 (01:08:07):
Stradio Lab is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money
Players Network and iHeart Podcasts.

Speaker 1 (01:08:11):
Created and hosted by George Severis and Sam Taggart.

Speaker 2 (01:08:14):
Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Han Soni and Olivia Aguilar,
co produced by Bei Wang, edited and engineered by Adam Avalos.
Artwork by Michael Failes and Matt Grub. Theme music by
Ben Kling