May 10, 2024 • 29 mins
In this episode, Tudor talks with Nikki Goeser, a victim's rights advocate, who shares her story of her husband being brutally murdered by her stalker. She discusses the importance of self-defense and challenges the idea of gun-free zones. Goeser emphasizes the need for situational awareness and the right to carry firearms for protection. She also addresses the issue of mental health and the lack of resources and facilities to address it. The Tudor Dixon Podcast is part of the Clay Travis & Buck Sexton Podcast Network. For more visit TudordixonPodcast.com
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Tutor Dixon Podcast. I want to jump
right in today because my guest I saw her story
actually in an article online, and I was like, this
is a crazy story, but it affects so many of us,
or it could affect so many of us, and that's
why I wanted to bring her on today so that
we could chat about it. I'm so grateful that she's here.
(00:21):
Nicki Goser. She is a senior fellow at the Crime
Prevention Research Center and a Tennessee Delegate of Women for
Gun Rights and she actually became a victim's rights advocate
after her own husband was brutally murdered in front of
her by her stalker. And Niki, thank you so much
for being with us today.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Thank you Tutor for having me on. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
I have so many questions about this, and I appreciate
that you're willing to go through it. Did you always
know that this guy was stalking you that night or
that day? Did you know that he was there to
do this?
Speaker 2 (00:56):
No, As with many victims of stalking, sometimes it takes
a while to figure it out, to figure out, Okay,
this person is more than just odd or behaving strangely
or paying a little bit too much attention to me.
It can take a while, and I did not realize
(01:17):
I was being stalked until that very night. It's a
long story, but basically that night I realized, Okay, this
has gone too far. This man is stalking me, and
I asked management to please remove him from the restaurant
where Ben and I were running our mobile karaoke show.
(01:38):
And when management asked him to leave, he pulled out
a forty five and shot my husband seven times in
front of myself and everyone in the middle of that
busy restaurant. It was a gun free zone at that
time in Tennessee. You were not allowed to carry a
permitted legal firearm in any restaurant if they served any
(01:59):
alcol So I obeyed that law and left my legal
permitted firearm locked inside of my vehicle. Of course, my
stalker did not. He brought a gun in illegally, did
not have a handgun carry permit, and proceeded to murder
my husband. I'll probably wonder for the rest of my
(02:19):
life if I could have prevented that. Of course I'll
never know, because I was denied a chance. I was
stalked and defenseless.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
And that's the title of your book. And I appreciate
you coming on and sharing this because I think so
many women have this fear of someone stalking them, don't
and not knowing, but the numbers are kind of remarkable.
How many women actually do end up having someone stalk them,
And then you are in a situation where you are
(02:50):
your only defense because there's no one else that can
constantly be around you protecting you. I think it's interesting
that you talk about the fact that you were a
gun free zone because I think that we have this
constant conflict in our society of where how do you
actually protect people from a bad guy with a gun,
(03:11):
Because it's not protecting you from the gun itself. You're
protecting the person from this person who has a bad intention,
and it's very hard to know ahead of time who
has a bad intention. Let's just be honest. We all say, oh,
we could have we could have figured this out. We
could have figured that out if we had just had
this law in place, this wouldn't have happened. Well, at
(03:32):
the end of the day, this guy broke all the
laws to get to you, and the law was there
to protect you. The law of having a gun free
zone in restaurants was there to protect you, and honestly,
at the end of the day, you ended up without
any protection whatsoever. So what have you done since? Because
I think a lot of parents will say, well, I
want a gun free zone at my church, I want
(03:54):
a gun free zone at my school, I want a
gun free zone on all these places, and then they
find out that the only person with the weapon is
the bad guy.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Right. Unfortunately, I think so many people who go through
horrific things like I've been through, you know, many of
them become very anti gun and they want more and
more gun fore zones. They it makes them feel like
it's more safe, and it's actually I feel it's actually
(04:24):
the opposite. That is just a welcome sign to someone
with ill intent, someone who's evil, where they can have
free rein there is no good person there to be
able to truly stop them. And it's like you said,
the bad guy will be the only one with a
gun and everyone else will be sitting ducks. And I've
(04:47):
tried to educate people for the past fifteen years about this.
You really have to think about this differently. You have
to almost think like a bad guy, really, right, or
to prepare yourself.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
And I think the interesting thing about your story is
as women, we always are concerned that someone is willing
to come and hurt us. The fact that this man
came in and shot your husband right in front of
you and you lost your husband that day, I just
can't imagine what that's like to Monday morning quarterback that like,
should I have known the sign? Should I have seen
(05:21):
the science? And it's so hard because you can't see
the signs. But this guy is not letting up. He
continues to try to find you, and he's in prison
right now, but he's sending you letters, isn't that right?
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Yes, he has sent many twisted love letters for years
from prison, and he doesn't know where I live. I
hope he doesn't know where I live. He would send
the letters to my former attorney that I used in
my wrongful death suit against him, So all of that paperwork,
(05:54):
of course, was sent to him in the prison, and
I had my attorney's address on it, and so he
use that address to send these letters year after year
after year. So the obsession has continued, and it's extremely
disturbing because he's getting out. People think that when someone
does something this horrific and it was obvious to me
(06:19):
that it was premeditated, but liberal judge bench trial judge
dropped it down to the lesser offensive second degree. So
now he's getting out. His release date is twenty thirty,
and he's being let out early for good behavior because
they're given good behavior credits. It's really disturbing.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
What year was it that he was put in prison?
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Two thousand and nine and he's going to be released
in twenty and thirty right now. He did receive one
extra year of prison time for the federal stalking charge,
but it's a joke, really, you know. I mean, sure
it's one extra year, but he's still getting out, and
(07:05):
it's terrifying.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
It's just an interesting argument because we've had so many
people on here. We have people on from both sides,
people that are, you know, pro Second Amendment, people who
want some of those Second Amendment rights taken away and
have that whittled down. And I can see both perspectives.
It's a challenging situation because you have people who, depending
(07:28):
on their own personal experience, they don't fall in the
black and white. They fall in that gray area of
a situation that we didn't we didn't know how to contain.
And I consider you in that situation where it's like, Okay,
it seems like a really good idea to just ban
guns in this area, But then the bad guy is
the only one with the gun. And I mean, we've
(07:49):
had this discussion from many perspectives, when it is kids
with a gun, when it is a school situation. Yours
is now a different situation. But we did have a
gentleman on here who does trainings for women on weapons training,
so he trains, he does shootings, or he does training
(08:09):
gun training. I guess I don't even I have attended it.
I don't use a gun, so I can't even talk
that clearly about it. But his reasoning was because he
said he remembers investigating a crime and finding a woman
in a ditch and her body was, you know, she
had been murdered. Her body was laying there, and he
(08:31):
said it will never leave my mind that she had
no way of defending herself. So unless he can train
women to defend themselves with a weapon, then what equalizer
do they have up against a man who's coming to
them and wanting to harm them in some way. Now, again,
your situation was different where he wasn't even coming for you.
(08:53):
But you are someone who was trained with a gun
and you weren't allowed to have it in that situation.
So how are these gun free zones actually helping anyone exactly?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
And I just want to point out that when the
police searched his vehicle at the crime scene that night,
they found two more guns, ammunition, a baseball bat, binoculars, gloves, rope,
and a knife.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
What do you know what his intent was of that night?
Was his intent to go and kill your husband? Was
his intent to kidnap you?
Speaker 2 (09:26):
The police believe that his intent was to try and
kidnap me and do away with my husband. I'll never
really know. He was diagnosed with delusional disorder and erotomania
and he's going to be out, and that is terrifying.
(09:46):
They don't keep dangerous people locked up, you know, at
least when he's done with his prison time, put him
in an institution.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Let's take a quick commercial break. We'll continue next on
the Tutor Dixon podcast. You know, there are so many
people out there who say, well, there's people will get
better in prison, there's redemption. But if you clearly show
signs that you are not redeemed that you are continuing
(10:15):
to go after someone, And isn't it illegal to continue
to harass and stalk someone? Wouldn't it be considered continued
stalking if he is sending you these letters? And based
on what you've said, the letters are pretty disgusting.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Yes it is. And he was actually convicted of federal stalking,
but you know, the penalties are not severe enough and
he's still going to be released. So basically, what I'm
going to have to do is go and sign up
for the address confidentiality program that's offered through the Tennessee
(10:49):
Secretary of State's office and basically have to try to hide.
And so many times these victims of stalking, that's what
they have to do. And it's very disturbing to me
that I would have to completely change and rearrange my
life and have to hide when I haven't done anything wrong.
(11:13):
He is the person that has done wrong.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Right, the victim continues to be a victim of these people.
They continued to go after you. So, I mean, you're
from Tennessee. We saw the school shooting in Tennessee recently
of the trans shooter that had the manifesto. We don't
know what was in that but we know, I mean,
we're pretty certain that this was premeditated, that this was planned,
(11:37):
that there was in this person's mind some reason for
them to go after this school. I mean, not so
different from the situation of obsessing, whether it was obsessing
over someone you wanted to whatever he was going to
do with you. I guess in his mind some sort
of sick, twisted love that he had for you, but
still an obsession, I would say in the case of
(11:57):
the school shooting, it was also somewhat of an obsen
And you would argue that the teachers also deserve to
be able to protect themselves. You've been in support of
arming teachers in the past, have you not.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
And Governor Lee in Tennessee he recently signed a law
that said that teachers could be allowed to carry weapons
in the classroom.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Yes, and it's totally voluntary. No one is forcing teachers
to carry a gun. And you know, they have to
go through forty hours of firearms training with law enforcement,
they have to go through a psychological evaluation, they have
to have their advanced handgun carry permit, and they have
(12:42):
to be approved by the principal and local law enforcement
before they are able to do that. So it's not
just hey, I'm a teacher, so I want to carry. No,
you have to go through an entire process. You have
to be vetted, and I absolutely support that because look,
when someone comes into a school and their mind is
(13:04):
on a high body back count, which is what happens,
that's what these evil people want. They want to be remembered,
they want to be in the media, they want the
news to cover it, and they know if they get
a higher body back count, then they will be all
over the news and they will be famous. Unfortunately, that's
what the media does. They make them famous, and these
(13:27):
evil people know it. I mean, look, just because they're
evil doesn't mean they're stupid. And they also realize that
what better place to get a higher body back count
than a gun free zone. That's why they continue to
choose schools and other gun free zones. Ninety four percent
of mass public shootings occur in gun free zones, but
you never hear about it because the media never wants
(13:49):
to talk about it.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
But with that statistic out there, why is it, why
aren't there more people on the other side saying, Okay,
tried this, it didn't work. Because The reality is that
everybody thinks that they have the solution, but so far
there has not been a solution yet to figuring out
when someone is going to premeditate a crime. I mean,
(14:11):
we don't have what was it the show where they
could find out whether or not somebody was going to
commit a crime beforehand. We can't actually do that. This
is ridiculous, the idea that they think, well, if we
take away anybody's ability to protect themselves in a certain area,
then we are going to end up keeping everybody safe.
(14:34):
Then how can they not just I said many times
when I was on a campaign trail, these are sitting
duck zones. In the state of Michigan, for example, the
state Police came out with a long report on how
to protect our kids, and one of the ways to
protect our kids was to have security on campus that
could take down a shooter. And yet that has not
been implemented. In fact, the governor has done nothing with
(14:57):
that report because I believe that she is too afraid
to come out and say, well, the state police have
said that the best way to protect kids is to
have somebody on campus that could take that shooter out,
because they are unable to say that there are times
when someone with a weapon has to take down someone
else with a weapon, and the reality of their argument
(15:19):
of we're going to get rid of all guns, We're
just going to take all guns off the street, It's impossible.
That's never going to happen. I mean that is it's
just a lie that they sell to get elected. It
has nothing to do with reality. And I would argue
that the people who are creating this falsehood that you
can eventually take all guns off the street and everybody's
(15:40):
just going to live in La la land, those are
the ones who are putting kids in danger every single
day because they refuse to come up with a real
solution to the problem.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
I agree, keeping good law abiding people from being able
to carry for their own self defense and for the
defense of their loved ones does nothing to stop bad,
evil people with guns.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Right, you've been speaking out on this for the last
fifteen years. What have you heard from the other side
when you say, Hey, we need to be able to
have women protect themselves in public women need to be
able to carry and protect themselves in public places. What's
the other side saying to you.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Oh, you know, you've always got the people just like
you said that are like, well, if there were no guns,
then we wouldn't have these problems. Look in other countries
where they have banned guns, crime rates have gone up.
Evil people find a way. They just do. They will
knife you to death, they will choke you to death,
(16:37):
they will beat you to death, they will run you
over with the car, they will create a bomb. Evil
people that they will find a way. And the gun.
As far as protecting women, that is a huge equalizer
for a female. I mean, let's face it, physically, we
are just not as strong as your average male. We
(16:59):
just aren't. And your job is to keep that man
who wants to harm you away from you, right, You
don't ever want him to get up on you. And
that's the point of carrying the gun, to keep him
away from you and stop the threat if need be legally.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Let's take a quick commercial break. We'll continue next on
the Tutor Dixon podcast. Well, let's talk about your experience
a little bit, because you said you didn't know until
afterward that he was actually stalking you. Is there something
now that you look back that you've learned that there
are signs you should be watching for. Because I think
that I'm a mom of four girls. I think the
(17:38):
people listening out there they have daughters or there, you know,
women themselves that are always wondering is there something I
should be concerned about? What were the signs? How do
you know if you have this happening? Because you said
you weren't aware until the devastating murder of your husband.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Actually I was aware right before. Okay, yeah, I was
aware that night and I asked management to remove him,
and when they proceeded to ask him to leave is
when he carried out the crime. You know, I would
tell females to really pay attention to what is being
(18:20):
said to them and how much attention is being paid
to them. If you follow your gut, if you feel
like something is not quite right here, I would listen
to your gut. I remember feeling that like, there's something
not quite right with this guy, and he's showing me
(18:41):
a little bit too much attention. Really listen to that
and stay on guard. Obviously, don't go walking by yourself
somewhere if that person is around, or you know, if
you are concerned, make sure to have a friend with you.
Pay attention to your surrounding. Situational awareness is incredibly important
(19:04):
even if you have a gun and carry a gun
for your own self defense, you've really got to pay
attention to what is going on around you.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
And you said, these guys like to be famous. You
don't say the name of the person who did this
to you because you don't believe that there should be
any attention on these folks. When you see these mass
shootings at colleges or high schools, and you see that
they keep flashing the picture up, what would be your
recommendation in those cases.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
I understand that the public obviously wants to know who
did this horrible thing, and I think there's a fine
balance between informing the public and just going on and
on and on and plastering the person's picture everywhere and
making them famous. That's what they want. Stop giving them
(19:59):
what they want, take away the incentive from them. I
think that's part of the problem. There are some really sick, evil,
or mentally ill people out there, and sometimes it's all
of the above, and they want the attention, and you
can't give that to them. I think it's a real
(20:22):
problem that no one seems to want to talk about
in the media. You know, let's face it, it's the
media they want exactly they want, you know, to have
higher viewership. But I think it's a real problem in
our country where we are we're incentivizing these people.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Well, and we asked for the manifesto from the Nashville
school shooter. Didn't get that. But you get all of
the information about her name, her background, everything that happened
in her life. And we're supposed to feel bad for
the shooter, but we don't know anything about why, what
motivated them to do this. I think that parents across
the country for a long time have said, hey, wait
(21:04):
a minute, I'm a little bit worried that my child
is stuck in the sitting duck zone. And that's where
I would call on politicians who can change these laws
to come out and speak. And I think it's important
for us as parents to push them and say, hey,
wait a minute, now, you know this isn't this isn't working.
What was the statistic you put out there, that was
the number of the percentage of mass shootings in a
(21:26):
gun free zone. Ninety four percent of mass shootings occur
in a gun free zone. To me, that is shocking
that we don't have more people standing up and saying
enough is enough. We need to if this is where
they're happening, get rid of that. Make sure they don't
know who's going to stop them. And I don't even
(21:47):
think that it should be about, you know, clearly marked
people who are standing at the door with a gun saying,
because everybody says, I don't want my kid going into
a war zone. I don't want my kid walking past
someone with a gun, they don't have to the fact
that the shooter doesn't know the shooter doesn't know who's
going to stop them at the door, because right now,
(22:07):
you are right, every one of those people goes, hey,
I can go into this school. No one's going to
stop me. It's going to take this long for the
police to get there. That's the only stop for me
is when the police drive this many minutes to get
to the school. So I am free to do whatever
I want and that's school until those cops get there,
because no one's going to stop me. So what if
(22:28):
we just changed that, What if we get rid of
these gun free zones. Hey, maybe we just see how
that goes for a few years and see how these
people don't They don't feel comfortable anymore. They don't say,
oh gosh, I have nobody coming after me. Maybe, just maybe,
if they don't know who's at the door with a
gun to take them out, they won't be coming in there.
(22:49):
But I also believe that this goes much deeper than
whether or not people are going to stop someone with
a gun. I'd like to know exactly what kind of
medications these people are on, what they're like, life has been.
Why aren't we doing comparisons of all of these shooters
because a lot of them have similar stories, And I
just think that there's a lot more information there that
(23:09):
we are not getting us the public, and we should
be fighting harder because these are our kids, These are
our loved ones, these are our spouses, and we need
to know what is happening with these people. What is
the full background story so we can prepare to protect
our loved ones.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
I agree, and you know, I believe in the element
of surprise. Teachers who conceal carry It's like you said,
the bad guy won't know who is carrying and who
is not. I believe the element of surprise is extremely
important in helping defend the lives of others, especially So.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Why have these gun free zones? Why do these Democrat
politicians push so hard for gun free zones if they
have these statistics, because there is no question in my
mind that they have these statistics, they are well aware
that the majority of men shootings happen where no one
can stop them. Let's just be honest about this. It's
not a gun free zone. This is a place where
(24:07):
no one is coming to stop you. If you walk
in with a gun, you're the only bad guy there.
You're the only person with a weapon. So why are
people defending these gun free zones. This is some sort
of sick and twisted thing because every time there's a
school shooting, they can come out and say, oh, the
bad Republicans who support the Second Amendment are the reason
that this is happening, when in reality, they know the
(24:29):
reason this is happening is because they have set these
kids up in a situation where they have no protection.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Unfortunately, we have a real problem in our country with
mental health. We don't have the resources, we don't have
the facilities to deal with these issues anymore. We don't
have the money. Our money is being sent elsewhere when
our money, I feel like, needs to stay here and
help in our own country with their own crime problems.
(24:58):
We don't have the mental healthacilities that we once did.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Maybe that, I mean, this sounds crazy, but maybe that's
the whole plan. I mean, as I watch all these
students that are funded to destroy college graduations, to go
out there and start doing their five times a day
prayers and all of these discussions about killing all the
Jews and death to America, I start to wonder if
(25:24):
all of that money going other places is actually the plan,
because who is funding this? Why is there no investigation
into this? And what's going to happen with those protests?
Because I feel like as we see this expanding and
expanding to our students, this mental health issue, which I believe.
I mean when I see some of these kids that
are interviewed on campus, these are mental health issues. These
(25:46):
are people that are being pulled into the worst possible
scenario because they are vulnerable. What happened? How did they
get there? How is this funded? Does this go to
big pharma? Does this go to Democrats? It's coming through
Act Blue, so it must be going to Democrats. And
I just see that this is going to be a
bigger and bigger problem. So I appreciate what you're saying,
but I got to say where the money is going
(26:08):
makes me think that it leads back a lot to
these situations and issues that get democrats elected. To give
democrats more power, I would agree. So let's talk about
your book, because I want to get to that it
is Stalked and Defenseless. Tell us about the book, tell
us where we can get it, tell us who you
think should be reading it.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Sure, my book is Stalked and Defenseless, and you can
find that at Amazon and also Barnes and Noble online.
I believe that the person that needs to read this
book is any female who is concerned for her safety.
And you know, fathers, brothers, uncles, anyone, husbands, anyone who
(26:53):
is concerned about a significant female in their life and
is concerned for their safety and wants them to have
better situational awareness. I would recommend this book for them.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
And does this go through how to protect yourself like
how to get to those trainings, how to self defense,
all of that.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
It does speak to some of that. Yes, it mostly
explains what I went through and hopefully influence others to
take their safety very seriously and do what you begin
to protect themselves and their loved ones.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Yeah, it's such a different world than what we grew
up in, or maybe we just hear more about what
the dangers are out there. But now that we know,
it's so important to educate yourself, make sure that you
are safe, but also as we're raising girls, to make
sure those girls understand that there really are true dangers
out there. There really are bad people out there, and
(27:51):
you do have to be aware of it. I think
it's interesting. I think I heard you quoted saying, you
know there were younger waitresses, there were other women there.
I don't know why he chose me, And that's something
that we don't necessarily, you know, we get so wrapped
up in what's happening around us. Oh well, she talks
to all the guys, she's this, she's that. It's not
(28:12):
gonna happen to me. You were surprised it happened to you,
but it could happen to anyone. You were always traveling
with your husband, correct, correct?
Speaker 2 (28:19):
My husband was always with me, yes.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
So it just goes to show you have to be
incredibly aware of your surroundings. Nikki. I am so sorry
for your loss, and I just think what you've been
able to do with that situation to educate other people
to come out on behalf of our safety and women's
safety and the safety of our children. It has been
just so amazing to watch.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Well, thank you, I really appreciate it. And if your
audience would like additional information on crime data in the
US elsewhere, you can go to crimeresearch dot org.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
Okay, wonderful, and make sure you check out the book.
It is Stalked and Defenseless on Amazon by Nicki Goser.
Thank you so much for being on here today.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Nikki, Thank you, Tutor.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
I really appreciate it absolutely, and thank you all for
joining us on the Tutor Dixon Podcast. For this episode
and others. Go to Tutor diixonpodcast dot com. You can
subscribe right there, or head over to the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts and join
us next time on the Tutor Dixon Podcast. Have a
blessed day.
Welcome to the Tutor Dixon Podcast. I want to jump
right in today because my guest I saw her story
actually in an article online, and I was like, this
is a crazy story, but it affects so many of us,
or it could affect so many of us, and that's
why I wanted to bring her on today so that
we could chat about it. I'm so grateful that she's here.
(00:21):
Nicki Goser. She is a senior fellow at the Crime
Prevention Research Center and a Tennessee Delegate of Women for
Gun Rights and she actually became a victim's rights advocate
after her own husband was brutally murdered in front of
her by her stalker. And Niki, thank you so much
for being with us today.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Thank you Tutor for having me on. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
I have so many questions about this, and I appreciate
that you're willing to go through it. Did you always
know that this guy was stalking you that night or
that day? Did you know that he was there to
do this?
Speaker 2 (00:56):
No, As with many victims of stalking, sometimes it takes
a while to figure it out, to figure out, Okay,
this person is more than just odd or behaving strangely
or paying a little bit too much attention to me.
It can take a while, and I did not realize
(01:17):
I was being stalked until that very night. It's a
long story, but basically that night I realized, Okay, this
has gone too far. This man is stalking me, and
I asked management to please remove him from the restaurant
where Ben and I were running our mobile karaoke show.
(01:38):
And when management asked him to leave, he pulled out
a forty five and shot my husband seven times in
front of myself and everyone in the middle of that
busy restaurant. It was a gun free zone at that
time in Tennessee. You were not allowed to carry a
permitted legal firearm in any restaurant if they served any
(01:59):
alcol So I obeyed that law and left my legal
permitted firearm locked inside of my vehicle. Of course, my
stalker did not. He brought a gun in illegally, did
not have a handgun carry permit, and proceeded to murder
my husband. I'll probably wonder for the rest of my
(02:19):
life if I could have prevented that. Of course I'll
never know, because I was denied a chance. I was
stalked and defenseless.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
And that's the title of your book. And I appreciate
you coming on and sharing this because I think so
many women have this fear of someone stalking them, don't
and not knowing, but the numbers are kind of remarkable.
How many women actually do end up having someone stalk them,
And then you are in a situation where you are
(02:50):
your only defense because there's no one else that can
constantly be around you protecting you. I think it's interesting
that you talk about the fact that you were a
gun free zone because I think that we have this
constant conflict in our society of where how do you
actually protect people from a bad guy with a gun,
(03:11):
Because it's not protecting you from the gun itself. You're
protecting the person from this person who has a bad intention,
and it's very hard to know ahead of time who
has a bad intention. Let's just be honest. We all say, oh,
we could have we could have figured this out. We
could have figured that out if we had just had
this law in place, this wouldn't have happened. Well, at
(03:32):
the end of the day, this guy broke all the
laws to get to you, and the law was there
to protect you. The law of having a gun free
zone in restaurants was there to protect you, and honestly,
at the end of the day, you ended up without
any protection whatsoever. So what have you done since? Because
I think a lot of parents will say, well, I
want a gun free zone at my church, I want
(03:54):
a gun free zone at my school, I want a
gun free zone on all these places, and then they
find out that the only person with the weapon is
the bad guy.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Right. Unfortunately, I think so many people who go through
horrific things like I've been through, you know, many of
them become very anti gun and they want more and
more gun fore zones. They it makes them feel like
it's more safe, and it's actually I feel it's actually
(04:24):
the opposite. That is just a welcome sign to someone
with ill intent, someone who's evil, where they can have
free rein there is no good person there to be
able to truly stop them. And it's like you said,
the bad guy will be the only one with a
gun and everyone else will be sitting ducks. And I've
(04:47):
tried to educate people for the past fifteen years about this.
You really have to think about this differently. You have
to almost think like a bad guy, really, right, or
to prepare yourself.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
And I think the interesting thing about your story is
as women, we always are concerned that someone is willing
to come and hurt us. The fact that this man
came in and shot your husband right in front of
you and you lost your husband that day, I just
can't imagine what that's like to Monday morning quarterback that like,
should I have known the sign? Should I have seen
(05:21):
the science? And it's so hard because you can't see
the signs. But this guy is not letting up. He
continues to try to find you, and he's in prison
right now, but he's sending you letters, isn't that right?
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Yes, he has sent many twisted love letters for years
from prison, and he doesn't know where I live. I
hope he doesn't know where I live. He would send
the letters to my former attorney that I used in
my wrongful death suit against him, So all of that paperwork,
(05:54):
of course, was sent to him in the prison, and
I had my attorney's address on it, and so he
use that address to send these letters year after year
after year. So the obsession has continued, and it's extremely
disturbing because he's getting out. People think that when someone
does something this horrific and it was obvious to me
(06:19):
that it was premeditated, but liberal judge bench trial judge
dropped it down to the lesser offensive second degree. So
now he's getting out. His release date is twenty thirty,
and he's being let out early for good behavior because
they're given good behavior credits. It's really disturbing.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
What year was it that he was put in prison?
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Two thousand and nine and he's going to be released
in twenty and thirty right now. He did receive one
extra year of prison time for the federal stalking charge,
but it's a joke, really, you know. I mean, sure
it's one extra year, but he's still getting out, and
(07:05):
it's terrifying.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
It's just an interesting argument because we've had so many
people on here. We have people on from both sides,
people that are, you know, pro Second Amendment, people who
want some of those Second Amendment rights taken away and
have that whittled down. And I can see both perspectives.
It's a challenging situation because you have people who, depending
(07:28):
on their own personal experience, they don't fall in the
black and white. They fall in that gray area of
a situation that we didn't we didn't know how to contain.
And I consider you in that situation where it's like, Okay,
it seems like a really good idea to just ban
guns in this area, But then the bad guy is
the only one with the gun. And I mean, we've
(07:49):
had this discussion from many perspectives, when it is kids
with a gun, when it is a school situation. Yours
is now a different situation. But we did have a
gentleman on here who does trainings for women on weapons training,
so he trains, he does shootings, or he does training
(08:09):
gun training. I guess I don't even I have attended it.
I don't use a gun, so I can't even talk
that clearly about it. But his reasoning was because he
said he remembers investigating a crime and finding a woman
in a ditch and her body was, you know, she
had been murdered. Her body was laying there, and he
(08:31):
said it will never leave my mind that she had
no way of defending herself. So unless he can train
women to defend themselves with a weapon, then what equalizer
do they have up against a man who's coming to
them and wanting to harm them in some way. Now, again,
your situation was different where he wasn't even coming for you.
(08:53):
But you are someone who was trained with a gun
and you weren't allowed to have it in that situation.
So how are these gun free zones actually helping anyone exactly?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
And I just want to point out that when the
police searched his vehicle at the crime scene that night,
they found two more guns, ammunition, a baseball bat, binoculars, gloves, rope,
and a knife.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
What do you know what his intent was of that night?
Was his intent to go and kill your husband? Was
his intent to kidnap you?
Speaker 2 (09:26):
The police believe that his intent was to try and
kidnap me and do away with my husband. I'll never
really know. He was diagnosed with delusional disorder and erotomania
and he's going to be out, and that is terrifying.
(09:46):
They don't keep dangerous people locked up, you know, at
least when he's done with his prison time, put him
in an institution.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Let's take a quick commercial break. We'll continue next on
the Tutor Dixon podcast. You know, there are so many
people out there who say, well, there's people will get
better in prison, there's redemption. But if you clearly show
signs that you are not redeemed that you are continuing
(10:15):
to go after someone, And isn't it illegal to continue
to harass and stalk someone? Wouldn't it be considered continued
stalking if he is sending you these letters? And based
on what you've said, the letters are pretty disgusting.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Yes it is. And he was actually convicted of federal stalking,
but you know, the penalties are not severe enough and
he's still going to be released. So basically, what I'm
going to have to do is go and sign up
for the address confidentiality program that's offered through the Tennessee
(10:49):
Secretary of State's office and basically have to try to hide.
And so many times these victims of stalking, that's what
they have to do. And it's very disturbing to me
that I would have to completely change and rearrange my
life and have to hide when I haven't done anything wrong.
(11:13):
He is the person that has done wrong.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Right, the victim continues to be a victim of these people.
They continued to go after you. So, I mean, you're
from Tennessee. We saw the school shooting in Tennessee recently
of the trans shooter that had the manifesto. We don't
know what was in that but we know, I mean,
we're pretty certain that this was premeditated, that this was planned,
(11:37):
that there was in this person's mind some reason for
them to go after this school. I mean, not so
different from the situation of obsessing, whether it was obsessing
over someone you wanted to whatever he was going to
do with you. I guess in his mind some sort
of sick, twisted love that he had for you, but
still an obsession, I would say in the case of
(11:57):
the school shooting, it was also somewhat of an obsen
And you would argue that the teachers also deserve to
be able to protect themselves. You've been in support of
arming teachers in the past, have you not.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
And Governor Lee in Tennessee he recently signed a law
that said that teachers could be allowed to carry weapons
in the classroom.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Yes, and it's totally voluntary. No one is forcing teachers
to carry a gun. And you know, they have to
go through forty hours of firearms training with law enforcement,
they have to go through a psychological evaluation, they have
to have their advanced handgun carry permit, and they have
(12:42):
to be approved by the principal and local law enforcement
before they are able to do that. So it's not
just hey, I'm a teacher, so I want to carry. No,
you have to go through an entire process. You have
to be vetted, and I absolutely support that because look,
when someone comes into a school and their mind is
(13:04):
on a high body back count, which is what happens,
that's what these evil people want. They want to be remembered,
they want to be in the media, they want the
news to cover it, and they know if they get
a higher body back count, then they will be all
over the news and they will be famous. Unfortunately, that's
what the media does. They make them famous, and these
(13:27):
evil people know it. I mean, look, just because they're
evil doesn't mean they're stupid. And they also realize that
what better place to get a higher body back count
than a gun free zone. That's why they continue to
choose schools and other gun free zones. Ninety four percent
of mass public shootings occur in gun free zones, but
you never hear about it because the media never wants
(13:49):
to talk about it.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
But with that statistic out there, why is it, why
aren't there more people on the other side saying, Okay,
tried this, it didn't work. Because The reality is that
everybody thinks that they have the solution, but so far
there has not been a solution yet to figuring out
when someone is going to premeditate a crime. I mean,
(14:11):
we don't have what was it the show where they
could find out whether or not somebody was going to
commit a crime beforehand. We can't actually do that. This
is ridiculous, the idea that they think, well, if we
take away anybody's ability to protect themselves in a certain area,
then we are going to end up keeping everybody safe.
(14:34):
Then how can they not just I said many times
when I was on a campaign trail, these are sitting
duck zones. In the state of Michigan, for example, the
state Police came out with a long report on how
to protect our kids, and one of the ways to
protect our kids was to have security on campus that
could take down a shooter. And yet that has not
been implemented. In fact, the governor has done nothing with
(14:57):
that report because I believe that she is too afraid
to come out and say, well, the state police have
said that the best way to protect kids is to
have somebody on campus that could take that shooter out,
because they are unable to say that there are times
when someone with a weapon has to take down someone
else with a weapon, and the reality of their argument
(15:19):
of we're going to get rid of all guns, We're
just going to take all guns off the street, It's impossible.
That's never going to happen. I mean that is it's
just a lie that they sell to get elected. It
has nothing to do with reality. And I would argue
that the people who are creating this falsehood that you
can eventually take all guns off the street and everybody's
(15:40):
just going to live in La la land, those are
the ones who are putting kids in danger every single
day because they refuse to come up with a real
solution to the problem.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
I agree, keeping good law abiding people from being able
to carry for their own self defense and for the
defense of their loved ones does nothing to stop bad,
evil people with guns.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Right, you've been speaking out on this for the last
fifteen years. What have you heard from the other side
when you say, Hey, we need to be able to
have women protect themselves in public women need to be
able to carry and protect themselves in public places. What's
the other side saying to you.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Oh, you know, you've always got the people just like
you said that are like, well, if there were no guns,
then we wouldn't have these problems. Look in other countries
where they have banned guns, crime rates have gone up.
Evil people find a way. They just do. They will
knife you to death, they will choke you to death,
(16:37):
they will beat you to death, they will run you
over with the car, they will create a bomb. Evil
people that they will find a way. And the gun.
As far as protecting women, that is a huge equalizer
for a female. I mean, let's face it, physically, we
are just not as strong as your average male. We
(16:59):
just aren't. And your job is to keep that man
who wants to harm you away from you, right, You
don't ever want him to get up on you. And
that's the point of carrying the gun, to keep him
away from you and stop the threat if need be legally.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Let's take a quick commercial break. We'll continue next on
the Tutor Dixon podcast. Well, let's talk about your experience
a little bit, because you said you didn't know until
afterward that he was actually stalking you. Is there something
now that you look back that you've learned that there
are signs you should be watching for. Because I think
that I'm a mom of four girls. I think the
(17:38):
people listening out there they have daughters or there, you know,
women themselves that are always wondering is there something I
should be concerned about? What were the signs? How do
you know if you have this happening? Because you said
you weren't aware until the devastating murder of your husband.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Actually I was aware right before. Okay, yeah, I was
aware that night and I asked management to remove him,
and when they proceeded to ask him to leave is
when he carried out the crime. You know, I would
tell females to really pay attention to what is being
(18:20):
said to them and how much attention is being paid
to them. If you follow your gut, if you feel
like something is not quite right here, I would listen
to your gut. I remember feeling that like, there's something
not quite right with this guy, and he's showing me
(18:41):
a little bit too much attention. Really listen to that
and stay on guard. Obviously, don't go walking by yourself
somewhere if that person is around, or you know, if
you are concerned, make sure to have a friend with you.
Pay attention to your surrounding. Situational awareness is incredibly important
(19:04):
even if you have a gun and carry a gun
for your own self defense, you've really got to pay
attention to what is going on around you.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
And you said, these guys like to be famous. You
don't say the name of the person who did this
to you because you don't believe that there should be
any attention on these folks. When you see these mass
shootings at colleges or high schools, and you see that
they keep flashing the picture up, what would be your
recommendation in those cases.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
I understand that the public obviously wants to know who
did this horrible thing, and I think there's a fine
balance between informing the public and just going on and
on and on and plastering the person's picture everywhere and
making them famous. That's what they want. Stop giving them
(19:59):
what they want, take away the incentive from them. I
think that's part of the problem. There are some really sick, evil,
or mentally ill people out there, and sometimes it's all
of the above, and they want the attention, and you
can't give that to them. I think it's a real
(20:22):
problem that no one seems to want to talk about
in the media. You know, let's face it, it's the
media they want exactly they want, you know, to have
higher viewership. But I think it's a real problem in
our country where we are we're incentivizing these people.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Well, and we asked for the manifesto from the Nashville
school shooter. Didn't get that. But you get all of
the information about her name, her background, everything that happened
in her life. And we're supposed to feel bad for
the shooter, but we don't know anything about why, what
motivated them to do this. I think that parents across
the country for a long time have said, hey, wait
(21:04):
a minute, I'm a little bit worried that my child
is stuck in the sitting duck zone. And that's where
I would call on politicians who can change these laws
to come out and speak. And I think it's important
for us as parents to push them and say, hey,
wait a minute, now, you know this isn't this isn't working.
What was the statistic you put out there, that was
the number of the percentage of mass shootings in a
(21:26):
gun free zone. Ninety four percent of mass shootings occur
in a gun free zone. To me, that is shocking
that we don't have more people standing up and saying
enough is enough. We need to if this is where
they're happening, get rid of that. Make sure they don't
know who's going to stop them. And I don't even
(21:47):
think that it should be about, you know, clearly marked
people who are standing at the door with a gun saying,
because everybody says, I don't want my kid going into
a war zone. I don't want my kid walking past
someone with a gun, they don't have to the fact
that the shooter doesn't know the shooter doesn't know who's
going to stop them at the door, because right now,
(22:07):
you are right, every one of those people goes, hey,
I can go into this school. No one's going to
stop me. It's going to take this long for the
police to get there. That's the only stop for me
is when the police drive this many minutes to get
to the school. So I am free to do whatever
I want and that's school until those cops get there,
because no one's going to stop me. So what if
(22:28):
we just changed that, What if we get rid of
these gun free zones. Hey, maybe we just see how
that goes for a few years and see how these
people don't They don't feel comfortable anymore. They don't say,
oh gosh, I have nobody coming after me. Maybe, just maybe,
if they don't know who's at the door with a
gun to take them out, they won't be coming in there.
(22:49):
But I also believe that this goes much deeper than
whether or not people are going to stop someone with
a gun. I'd like to know exactly what kind of
medications these people are on, what they're like, life has been.
Why aren't we doing comparisons of all of these shooters
because a lot of them have similar stories, And I
just think that there's a lot more information there that
(23:09):
we are not getting us the public, and we should
be fighting harder because these are our kids, These are
our loved ones, these are our spouses, and we need
to know what is happening with these people. What is
the full background story so we can prepare to protect
our loved ones.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
I agree, and you know, I believe in the element
of surprise. Teachers who conceal carry It's like you said,
the bad guy won't know who is carrying and who
is not. I believe the element of surprise is extremely
important in helping defend the lives of others, especially So.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Why have these gun free zones? Why do these Democrat
politicians push so hard for gun free zones if they
have these statistics, because there is no question in my
mind that they have these statistics, they are well aware
that the majority of men shootings happen where no one
can stop them. Let's just be honest about this. It's
not a gun free zone. This is a place where
(24:07):
no one is coming to stop you. If you walk
in with a gun, you're the only bad guy there.
You're the only person with a weapon. So why are
people defending these gun free zones. This is some sort
of sick and twisted thing because every time there's a
school shooting, they can come out and say, oh, the
bad Republicans who support the Second Amendment are the reason
that this is happening, when in reality, they know the
(24:29):
reason this is happening is because they have set these
kids up in a situation where they have no protection.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Unfortunately, we have a real problem in our country with
mental health. We don't have the resources, we don't have
the facilities to deal with these issues anymore. We don't
have the money. Our money is being sent elsewhere when
our money, I feel like, needs to stay here and
help in our own country with their own crime problems.
(24:58):
We don't have the mental healthacilities that we once did.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Maybe that, I mean, this sounds crazy, but maybe that's
the whole plan. I mean, as I watch all these
students that are funded to destroy college graduations, to go
out there and start doing their five times a day
prayers and all of these discussions about killing all the
Jews and death to America, I start to wonder if
(25:24):
all of that money going other places is actually the plan,
because who is funding this? Why is there no investigation
into this? And what's going to happen with those protests?
Because I feel like as we see this expanding and
expanding to our students, this mental health issue, which I believe.
I mean when I see some of these kids that
are interviewed on campus, these are mental health issues. These
(25:46):
are people that are being pulled into the worst possible
scenario because they are vulnerable. What happened? How did they
get there? How is this funded? Does this go to
big pharma? Does this go to Democrats? It's coming through
Act Blue, so it must be going to Democrats. And
I just see that this is going to be a
bigger and bigger problem. So I appreciate what you're saying,
but I got to say where the money is going
(26:08):
makes me think that it leads back a lot to
these situations and issues that get democrats elected. To give
democrats more power, I would agree. So let's talk about
your book, because I want to get to that it
is Stalked and Defenseless. Tell us about the book, tell
us where we can get it, tell us who you
think should be reading it.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Sure, my book is Stalked and Defenseless, and you can
find that at Amazon and also Barnes and Noble online.
I believe that the person that needs to read this
book is any female who is concerned for her safety.
And you know, fathers, brothers, uncles, anyone, husbands, anyone who
(26:53):
is concerned about a significant female in their life and
is concerned for their safety and wants them to have
better situational awareness. I would recommend this book for them.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
And does this go through how to protect yourself like
how to get to those trainings, how to self defense,
all of that.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
It does speak to some of that. Yes, it mostly
explains what I went through and hopefully influence others to
take their safety very seriously and do what you begin
to protect themselves and their loved ones.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Yeah, it's such a different world than what we grew
up in, or maybe we just hear more about what
the dangers are out there. But now that we know,
it's so important to educate yourself, make sure that you
are safe, but also as we're raising girls, to make
sure those girls understand that there really are true dangers
out there. There really are bad people out there, and
(27:51):
you do have to be aware of it. I think
it's interesting. I think I heard you quoted saying, you
know there were younger waitresses, there were other women there.
I don't know why he chose me, And that's something
that we don't necessarily, you know, we get so wrapped
up in what's happening around us. Oh well, she talks
to all the guys, she's this, she's that. It's not
(28:12):
gonna happen to me. You were surprised it happened to you,
but it could happen to anyone. You were always traveling
with your husband, correct, correct?
Speaker 2 (28:19):
My husband was always with me, yes.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
So it just goes to show you have to be
incredibly aware of your surroundings. Nikki. I am so sorry
for your loss, and I just think what you've been
able to do with that situation to educate other people
to come out on behalf of our safety and women's
safety and the safety of our children. It has been
just so amazing to watch.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Well, thank you, I really appreciate it. And if your
audience would like additional information on crime data in the
US elsewhere, you can go to crimeresearch dot org.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
Okay, wonderful, and make sure you check out the book.
It is Stalked and Defenseless on Amazon by Nicki Goser.
Thank you so much for being on here today.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Nikki, Thank you, Tutor.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
I really appreciate it absolutely, and thank you all for
joining us on the Tutor Dixon Podcast. For this episode
and others. Go to Tutor diixonpodcast dot com. You can
subscribe right there, or head over to the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts and join
us next time on the Tutor Dixon Podcast. Have a
blessed day.
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