April 13, 2024 • 41 mins
Take a walk down memory lane as Eddie and Edwin share their perspectives on their weddings.
Find out which husband had their alarm go off at the absolute wrong moment during the ceremony.And, the sweet tradition Eddie keeps every year for his anniversary.
Plus, who thought they were having a heart attack right before their nuptials?
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is The Eds with Eddie Judge and Edwin Aroyavi.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
The husbands know best a too cheese production.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
All right, So because it's wedding season, it's time to
talk a little bit about what the guys think about,
you know, weddings and anniversaries. And you know, we talked
about my televice proposal and wedding experience with my wife
on TV, which is an amazing experience. And we touched
a little bit about you getting married in Paris. But
(00:29):
I'd like to learn a little bit more about your
journey to Paris and did you ask John for permission
to get married for her hand? And how did you
propose to her? And what was tell me all about
the wedding in Paris. That sounds like an amazing experience. Yeah,
But the funny thing is I was always afraid of
getting married. That was actually one of my biggest fears.
(00:51):
And it was because at least sixty or seventy percent
of my friends that got married were getting a divorce, right,
and I was just trying to.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
In my head, maybe I'd get married at like forty
five or something like that. Anyway, Teddy and I get
pretty serious, and you know, the talk comes up of
should we get married, should we not? And I remember
thinking to myself at the time. I told Teddy, I'm like, look,
(01:21):
I do want to get married, but like I take
care of my entire family, like I've been taking care
of my family since I was fifteen. I'm like, what
if you wake up five years from now and you
don't want to be married to me? Like now, I
got to give you half my stuff, And I said,
I don't have John Mellencamp money yet. And you know,
(01:44):
John could afford to get divorced for three, three four
different times. I'm like, I can't if I get divorced
one time, I'm losing half my stuff. I got to
take care of my mom. Blah blah blah. So she's like,
I don't care about your money, and I'm like, all right, answer,
And so that put me a little more at peace,
and she's just like, don't touch my money. It's like, mho,
(02:07):
we got we got a deal. But I was still
freaking out, and I remember going back and forth and
finally I told her, look, I can't marry. I'm just
I can't. And you know, I remember it was a
tough night that night because she cried. I cried, I'm
just like I can't do it. And the next day
(02:29):
I'm driving and I thought to myself, what am I
so scared of? Like I've always been sort of a
risk taker, and why am I so afraid on this?
And I already know I want to marry her? Like
what am I trying to? Why am I waiting? And
there was this start in my head though that was like, Okay,
(02:49):
well maybe if I buy the rank, I could buy
myself some time and you know, maybe we'll get married
two years after. But screw it, I'm by the ranks.
I went, I bought the ring and I called John
and I just basically said, hey, John, I want to
marry your daughter and I think she's the best thing
that's ever happened to me, and I'm going to take
(03:14):
care of her and you got my word that I'm
going to be the best husband possible. And he was
he was like, yeah, you know, I if that's what
you guys want to do. I fully supported, and then
I ended up proposing to her. I bought her a nice,
I think Gucci jacket, and I put the ring in
(03:34):
the jacket and I proposed in front of my entire
family when we were living out in Woodland Hills. It's
a special moment. But then then we don't have a date.
Right in my head, I'm thinking the date's going to
be two years later, right, And that buys me a
little time again because I'm just it was a me thing.
It wasn't a Teddy thing.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
I was just scared, right.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
And then of course we go around and you know,
everybody's congratulating us on the engagement, but what do you think?
The first question is when you get engaged, when's doa
any and our answer was we don't know. So then
Teddy's like, you know, I feel really stupid that we
don't have a date. I'm like, oh, here we go,
(04:20):
so we still don't have a date. Anyway. Six months later,
we're about to her dad's going on a tour in Europe,
and Teddy's like, you know what, why don't we get
married in Paris. My dad's going to be touring, it's
fourth to July is going to be in Paris. We
can just get married fourth to July. And then my
(04:41):
dream was always if I ever did have a wedding,
I'd have it. I'd have what do you call those
weddings when you fly out and get away wedding and where, yeah, where,
It's just a few of us, and I don't have
to worry about who I invited, who I didn't invite.
I just kind of wanted to do it quick. You
have twenty close people. And that's exactly what ended up happening.
(05:05):
And we took off to Paris, but two weeks prior
to leaving. I mean, this is how freaked out I was.
I wake up in the middle of the night and
I can't move my entire left side of my body,
like I'm thinking I'm having it and I'm probably in
one of the best shapes in my life. And it
(05:26):
must have been at least a minute to two minutes.
I couldn't move the entire left side of my body,
and I felt like I was having a heart attack.
And I remember saying, like, God, don't let me go
out like this. And I'm trying to wake up Teddy,
but I can't talk. It's just it's weird. I can't move,
so I go to the hospital. I spent the entire
day in that hospital. I had to wear a heart
(05:48):
monitor for an entire week just to find out what
was wrong. With my heart because my whole left arm
went numb. Well it was eight days. So I did
that for an entire week, and it turns out I
had a panic attack. I've never I've never had that
in my life, and I've dealt with a lot of
stressful situations. By the way, that's never ever happened to me,
(06:12):
and God will it will never happen to me again.
But that's how freaked out I was. And Teddy's like,
maybe we shouldn't fled, Like, no, we're going to get married.
So then cut to we're in Paris and we're having
a great time. We're about to get married, and you
know the part, I can't make this up. I put
(06:34):
this on everything. I had, put my alarm back then
I used to wake up at six am. Well six
am is two pm in Paris, right, so we're about
to get married. We walk out and the eye blah
blah blah. It's really nice. We were on top of
some roof at some hotel and so we're looking the
Eiffel Tower. So we took these beautiful pictures. I got
(06:55):
to fly out my family, so my siblings, my mom
came out. They'd never been Europe, so it was just
perfect right. And who organized it all? I mean Eddy
ed he found someone in Paris and they did just
a great job just organizing the entire thing. It's funny
my mom, who doesn't speak Spanish, I mean doesn't speak English.
(07:18):
My mama doesn't speak a lick of English, is hanging
out with Meg Ryan and they're talking. My sister's like
hanging out with her. I remember, I remember we used
to watch your movies and like, oh, shoot, now my
mom's talking to Meg Ryan. I'm like, that's that's pretty cool, right. Anyway,
you know the part when you're getting married and they say,
if anybody of Jack's or whatever that's whatever that phrase is,
(07:41):
I kid you not. As he's saying that, myles, I'm
about to start crying, and I'm like, I did not
want to cry at my wedding, but I'm feeling I'm like, damn,
I'm gonna start crying like crazy right now. And he says,
does anybody of Jack blah blah blah. My alarm goes
off and in my head, I'm thinking, is this guy
(08:05):
telling me not to get married? So there's this picture
of Teddy and I and we're just dying of like,
we just started immediately laughing because when my alarm went off,
John's like, you gotta be shitting mate, We just started laughing. Anyway,
we end up getting married and we had a blast.
(08:28):
My family had a blast. Some of the best pictures
we've ever taken were there and it's a special moment.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
How many people were there?
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Twenty of us, so it was Teddy's immediate family and
then it was my immediate family, so there's probably eighteen
twenty people there. And then our honeymoon was basically going
around with John all over Europe while he was touring.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
How long was that?
Speaker 2 (08:51):
It's probably a good ten day. So when we went
to Germany, we went to Milan, we went to Florin,
we went to England. Where else should we go? We
went to a bunch of places where he was touring.
It was cool because everywhere we went we got the
red carpet treatment.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
So wow, what is awesome experience? Yeah, yep, but.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Art monitor and my alarm went off, and it's worked
out so far. It's gonna be fifteenth. This will be
our fifteenth year together and it's thirteen years married in
our anniversaries fourth of July, so it's kind of hard
to forget that one. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Yeah, So you get to celebrate for the July and
your anniversary every year.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
And then her birthday is on the first, so you
got the first and the fourth.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
So I kind of get away with just an entire
weekend whether and just you know, yeah, and it's fireworks
every year. It's fir Secret year. Exactly. That's fantastic.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
That's gonna be a hard one not to forget, you know,
it's for the July, come on, yeah, exactly, and it's
Independence Day.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
I can't believe how fast it goes, though. How long
have you guys been together?
Speaker 1 (10:10):
By the way, we have been together thirteen years married,
ten And I always whenever somebody asked me that questions,
I always realized that these last not just ten years married,
but that the whole thirteen years have gone by so
freaking fast, like almost like I feel like I just
(10:31):
met her last year and we're still just trying to
figure out, you know, what are we going to do
with our life together? Right, But there's been so much
that's happened, and I think big part of it is
because she's been on TV for so long. Yeah, we've
lived this crazy world wind of life where we're walking
(10:51):
red carpets, we're attending, you know, high level events, we're
invited to these great VIP experiences, you know, traveling. I
was traveling a lot when I first met her, and
I just take her on my trips to you know, Brazil, Europe,
(11:13):
anywhere in the world that I could go, I would
take her with me. And I think that's one of
the things that we missed mostly about, you know, since
since COVID and COVID shutting down the world, we missed
traveling that much like we used to. But that's that
was one of the things that just made our life.
Just our relationships just go by so fast. You know,
(11:34):
how long were you guys together before you decided to
ask her to marry you?
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Three years? Three years?
Speaker 1 (11:40):
So, like I said, we met and it was probably
about a month after she left her ex and moved
down on Rome that we started dating. And it was fun.
It was just never never thought I would be marrying her,
you know. It was just such a chemistry between us
and easy talking and and just time spent together was
(12:05):
so nice and relaxing, and everything just kind of made
sense when we took it's little by little, one step
at a time where she moved out, she stabilized her herself,
and then she stabilized her kids, you know, going through
the whole divorce. It's just it was a nightmare, right,
And she lived on her own for a couple of years.
I think before we started talking about marriage, and if
(12:28):
you remember, we were talking about just having a little
beach wedding with a few people, and then producers found
out and we ended up having this giant, enormous wedding,
which I don't regret at all. It was an incredible wedding.
But then she moved in, and you know, well before
she moved in, she her her son, her oldest son,
(12:49):
had a pitbull named Bronx that you know, needed a
home because he was moving into an apartment. And I
had just bought this house here in Ladera, and you know,
being single and living in this and I decked it
out with you know, darkwood floors and you know, the
brand new house. So I was all really proud of it.
Nothing was out of place, and I was real anal
at the time. And she says, hey, have a dog.
(13:11):
Can you have a dog, because you know we're going
to need a dog for Spencer. When when he moves
in with us, you know, or moves into the house,
I'm like, okay, but he's going to be an outdoor dog.
He's not going to be inside. And sure enough, it
took about a week before I fell in love with
the dog, and I think I slept with them one time,
and I'm like, yeah, no, I can't sleep with the dog.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Forget it.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
You know, I love you, but you're gonna have to
sleep downstairs or in your cage. And he ended up
ruling the house and ruining my floors and ruining the backyard.
But he brought so much love and so much stability
to the family, particularly because he was he became basically
Spencer's dog. He slept with Spencer the entire time that
(13:52):
he was with us, and he was just an amazing dog.
But that was probably our biggest connection with between me
and the kids, was that dog, right, that dog that
just you know, brought us together and made us a family.
It was a it was a smooth but rough transition
because the divorce was just an ugly divorce. The guy
was really using the kids to try to get to
(14:14):
Tamra and he didn't give a shit about their mental
health or you know what the effects were going to
be on them. So it was really hard on the
kids because of that. Otherwise, you know, it could have
been easy. He could have gone his way. She obviously
was happy in her relationship, and the kids would have
been great and they would have got it. But it
was such an ugly public divorce that I really didn't
(14:38):
even see. We both didn't really see ourselves getting married
because it was such an ugly public divorce. You know,
it just didn't really makes sense to do that. And
that's probably the biggest reasons why we wanted to just
have a small little wedding without announcing it to the world.
You know, our lives are already on a platform and
everything is out there that she does, and she doesn't
(15:00):
hold back, as you know, she just puts it all
out there, and I'm like, there's got to be some
sort of you know, privacy here.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
By the way, did you guys do uh prenup or
no prenup?
Speaker 1 (15:12):
We did not do a prenup. You know, it just
it didn't make any sense, and I think from our
generation it didn't. It was it was a negative connotation
to have a prenup. Right. It was like, well, if
you don't trust me, I don't trust you. And it
was one of those things like plus, I mean, I
didn't have a lot. I had a house, I had
a career, and you know I had money in the bank,
(15:34):
but I didn't have I wasn't wealthy, so it didn't
matter to me. And of course she was on a
show and she's on her way to making a lot
of money. But she said, no, I don't. I don't
think this is something that applies to us. So, yeah,
you know, we had a prenup.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
I was going to ask you that, you know. So
that was the whole That was the whole conversation. That's
that's when I go, all right, I'm in. And I said, look,
if we do a prenup, we're good. And I won't
get any of your money. You know, whatever John leaves you,
you don't touch any of my money. And but the
funny part is, you know, now we've been married over
ten years. She always reminds me that, I guess after
(16:12):
you've been married for ten years that preenam goes away.
And it's so funny because the prenum was a very
aggressive one and like just freaked out. But it also,
I guess, showed me that she didn't really care about it.
And obviously she's got her own money, right, so she
doesn't really care. But that was kind of a big
(16:32):
deal for me that she would. And yeah, she reminds
me all the time. You know, it's it's over ten years.
I could take all your shit if I want, so,
she likes to remind me. It's a California law, which
I haven't even checked it, but apparently it is. So yeah,
that thing went by.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
By from my understanding, and I don't know how the
prenums work. I assumed it was kind of an iron
clad log like, hey, this is I keep what I
have at the time of the marriage, and you keep
what you have at the time of our marriage. And
then you add in some things like if you know.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
You forgot you were you were in law before.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Yeah, so if you inherit, you know, money from your
family you added into the prenup that you get to
keep it. And obviously I don't know if you had
any inheritance coming to you, but whatever you had at
the time is going to be yours when you got married.
And that's like I said, I all I had was
a house in a you know, a bank account and
a job. So I was doing very well and it
(17:33):
just didn't make any sense that a prenup would protect
us or protect her from from what you know, But
for you, I guess you know. What I learned in
this whole divorce thing is if you are together without
a prenup or even a wedding for ten years in California,
it's like being married. So you don't even need to
(17:54):
get married. You don't need a certificate, you don't even
need any of that. All your assets are subject to
you know, to a divorce.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
So oh, I don't know that you might as well
be getting married if you've been together for ten years, right, right.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
And I have a friend who got married in Miami
or in Florida, and he had a bunch of assets
and everything, and I was happy to be at the
wedding and everything. He was super happy, and I think
he got divorced a year later, and ever since then
he continued to build companies, you know, make a lot
of money. And he had he had a relationship with
(18:27):
the girl, but he wasn't going to marry her, and
he made it clearly and understanding with her that we're
not going to ever get married. So like, I get it.
I get it. You know, once you get screwed like that,
and you work your ass off so hard, right you know,
you know, I mean I don't know what the laws are.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
And well, that's what I never understood is that if
whether it's the husband or the wife, right, let's say
it's the it's the wife in this case, right, Yeah,
she wakes up one day three years later and she
just tells you, I don't love you anymore and I'm
out and maybe I found a new dude. Right, Yeah,
she can take half your stuff even though she's the
(19:05):
one that's leaving exactly.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
And this is California. This is like, that's what's crazy thing.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
And I've always felt even if it's the other way, right, like,
if I decide to leave, yeah, and it's I'm choosing
to leave, then why, it's like a double whammy. It's
like an insult to injury. You're going to leave you
and I'm still taking half your shit.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Yeah, So I mean it happens. It happens a lot.
I think you were saying sixty percent of marriages and
then divorce, and I truly believe that number is accurate,
especially in California. You know, there's so much distraction and
so much entitlement. And I don't know how these guys
do it that have a ton of money and date
(19:45):
these young women and marry them, you know what I mean, Like,
why are you getting married? Well, there must be some
sort of really ironclad bring up that you know, if
we get married, you're not You might get X, Y
and Z, but you're not going to get at all,
you know. And these guys that are wealthy and you know,
live that life and don't care about life or money
(20:05):
or anything or love. They end up getting divorced or
and lose a little bit of money. But I don't
know how they continue to do that. They get married
over and over and over. I mean there's been some
celebrities that get married like seven times. And you know,
these movie stars celebrities, they have a lot of money.
So how do they do They could afford, like you said,
they can afford to right, it's just got so much money.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
It's like, all, I get divorced three four times, no matter.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Yeah, But to really pinpoint the purpose behind marriage, you know,
I was always afraid because it is a big deal.
It is a big commitment. It's almost like the very
first time I ever had a not had to, but
expressed to a woman that I love you. You know,
it's like, that's that's so meaningful to me. I don't
(20:51):
know if I could just say it, you know, because
I don't know what love is. I was so young, right,
I don't know what impressed me, impressed upon me, or
who impressed upon me to value that so much that
I just didn't want to give it away. Right, I'm
just not going to say I love you just because
maybe it's a family trait. I don't know. I really
(21:11):
valued that. And then it came to, you know, getting
married as well. It's like I don't want to just
get married.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Yeah, By the way, what's your love language?
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Words of affirmation and actions, you know when when you know,
not necessarily gifts, but little things here and there. I mean,
Tara's really good about doing for me little things here
and there. When she makes me dinner, sometimes she's doing
it for me. She's not just making dinner just to
make dinner, you know what I mean. She asked me
what I want. She's real, she just really pays real
attention to what I like, what I don't like, and
(21:42):
she makes sure that you know it's going to be
an enjoyable dinner as opposed to oh yeah hungry, Okay,
well let's get door dash.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Jenny used to cook for me all the time before
we got married, and once we got married, cooking was over.
I know that you said that. I think it was
(22:09):
on the show that you wanted a small wedding, but
then I think the show found out that you were
going to have a wedding, so they offered to pay
for it, and then you made it, I think, a
pretty big wedding. So do you ever think back of
like what a small wedding would look like for you?
Speaker 1 (22:27):
I don't, and people have asked me that many times,
only because I just I had such an amazing experience
with the wedding that was produced and the way it
all happened when it was I think I told you
when I was presented to me, I was like, I
don't want to do this on TV. You know, based
(22:48):
on my experience with the Bravo Real Housewife show, it's
very toxic. I don't want any drama, and this is
supposed to be a very special thing for me.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Yeah, you got all the girls there, right, and.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Then all the girls there and all that. But it
turned out to be very well produced and very little drama.
Most of the drama had to do with, you know,
I want this and she wants that, you know, and
don't spend too much money on the wedding, and okay,
let's not talk about the budget, you know. So it's like,
all right, those things really are not important. I mean,
(23:21):
I just didn't want a girl fighting at her wedding
or throwing you know, the table or some stupid like
that just to get ratings right, nor to get attention.
But the way it all turned out, the way it
was all edited and produced and filmed, and and the
way the wedding planner handled it all, she really paid
(23:44):
attention to what Tamra was saying. She really understood my
desires on it. I mean, at the time, for example,
it was a little bit of a pointer. At the time,
I was very much addicted to gummy bears. Gummy bears
were my vice and that's what I love the most.
And the wedding planner somehow ended up getting gummy bears
(24:06):
all over the wedding hall and these two or three
i think five pound gummy bears the size of a
small baby.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Right.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
I'd never seen a gummy bear so big, and so
that was you know, I just one one way to
my heart and to impress me, and another. You know,
I was a big road cyclist at the time. I
used to ride my bike everywhere, and the wedding planner
ended up finding an old road bike and hanging it
(24:34):
from the rafters where we got married and putting flowers
and everything and painting it so it matches. And I'm like, wow,
you know, you really thought about all the things that
bring you know, happiness and value to me to make
this a real wedding, a real experience, versus, Oh, we're
going to hire the most expensive chefs. We're gonna hire
(24:55):
the most expensive this. We're gonna you know, have the
Gucci this and you know the pro of that, and
we're going to make it the most amazing wedding for TV.
You know that probably would have been boring for me
and so fake and empty that I probably would have
wanted a small wedding afterwards, you know, like that's kind
(25:17):
of what I was expecting. Also, like, hey, let's just
do a TV wedding for whatever that is. Let's just
get through it and after that, and that was our plan.
After that, we'll have a small, little wedding, a real
wedding quote unquote, and call it a day. But the
wedding was so incredibly put together, so real, so magical
that I don't regret anything about it. And I'm you know,
(25:40):
the only way I would do another small wedding is
that maybe we renew our valves. But we've seen how
that goes on on the show. You know, people renew
their vows and shit hits the fan. Maybe we should
do it together and we all we do it together.
It's been thirteen years. That would be awesome, like a
destination renew destination renewal.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Right, but that's pretty cool that you got all these
like special moments. Obviously have your bathtub moment that you
I'll always remember on your whatever. I think it was
the first date or whatever. But what I mean, how
magical is that that you can go back and look
at your wedding. I wish I could go back and
look at my Paris wedding. I could look at pictures,
but I don't have like a video like you guys do.
(26:23):
And I mean that's that's the benefit of doing it
through the show, right they I mean when I was
on the show, that's what I liked about it. I
was like, Oh, I'm going to get all this footage
with my kids, and I'm going to be able to
look back at that footage. It's gonna be pretty cool.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
So one of the one of the things I remember
having a decision on what the wedding was because it
was produced by a production company. I'm not going to
have access to the footage. I'm not going to have
access to the photos, right, and if I do, it's
going to be whatever they want to give me. So
I ended up hiring a videographer and a photographer. The
(26:58):
photographer was a really close friend of ours. She does weddings.
She was amazing, and she had connections with a videographer
who did a great job. So the video that I
watch every year is the video that was produced for
us by this videographer, privately videographer, and it was so
well done. I think I watch it every year because
(27:21):
it brings lears to me. It brings me back to
that moment and it's real.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Right.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
I've watched our actual three part series that Brable produced
maybe twice, and it's not the same. It's not the
same as watching just this one clip that I have
on my phone that I can watch. It's like an
eight minute clip and I just watch it every year
and it just reminds me, and I think subconsciously the
(27:49):
reason I watch it is because I think one of
the things I've experienced in life is you kind of
take things you have for granted generally, right, whether it's
materialistic stuff or relationships or even yourself, your talents, your skills,
and your abilities, right, you kind of take them for granted.
(28:09):
And I know that if it's out of sight, out
of mind, they kind of lose attention. And that's happened
with friendships, that's happened with you know, even companies that
I've had employees, and all relationships in general. So with this,
I feel like, if I don't bring this to mine
(28:31):
every year and remind me how incredibly magical that moment was,
I might I might lose it. I might lose that love,
I might lose I might start taking it for granted,
and I might lose that magic I have with her.
So maybe that's talking to me subconsciously and why I
do it. But yeah, every time I watch it, I
do getteried, and that was seriously. I was at my
(28:54):
visiting my grandmother just a few days ago, and she's
kind of going, you know, she's going to be ninety
nine years old this year, so she's kind of having
Alzheimer's and in the conversations we have are kind of like, oh, wait,
did you do you live in Mexico, Like, well, no,
I don't live in Mexico. I'm about twenty five minutes away.
(29:14):
So I spent some time showing her some videos of
my new dog and you know, my life. And then
I came across the wedding video and I'm like, oh,
watch this, and she was in the wedding. She was
in the video, and it just made it that more
magical to have this content where she was a big
part of the wedding. She walked down the aisle with me,
(29:37):
she was in the video. I watched her and the
impact was, you know, I don't know when I'm going
to lose her, but it's not too long from now.
So I have her here, and I have my wife,
and I have this magic moment that's going to live
with me for the rest of my life. So there's
so many impactful reasons why I watched that video, and
(29:59):
I think that's why I get taridite, because every time
I watch it, I get taite.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Have you ever forgot your anniversary?
Speaker 1 (30:07):
No, it's it's it's kind of hard because you know,
I have this video reminds me it's on my calendar,
and I don't want to be that guy that forgets it.
It's it's again very important to me for the longevity
of our wedding, you know, of our marriage, of our
of our life together. This is this was a big
(30:28):
important part in our life and I never want to
forget it.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
What about gifts? Does do gifts get you nervous?
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Like?
Speaker 2 (30:43):
What do I get it this year? Like you got
to keep continuing to level up? Or what it was?
Speaker 1 (30:49):
It's like yes and no, yes, because of the social pressures.
You know, it's up there with this whole you gotta
spend thirty percent of your anial salary onto a wedding. Shit,
that was you know. What I know now is that
it was a marketing scheme that was designed by the
jewelry company, the jewelry industry that convinced guys to do that.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
I'm glad I didn't fall for it. Because the times
I've given Teddy some really nice anniversary presents, I'm like,
all right, that's your anniversary, that's your birthday, and that's
Christmas and that's Valentine's everything. Ask me for another present.
I go in there with my negotiation skills. Yeah. The
(31:33):
other thing is my wife.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
And this is one of the other reasons I love
her so much is that she is not high maintenance.
She personally won't spend stupid money on herself. Like I'm
the one that buys her the two thousand dollars pair
of shoes. She won't do it, you know. And even
though she probably won't do it, I went out and
bought her the six thousand dollars stupid gold bracelet that
(31:59):
go on her wrist that locks down on Cardier. That's
what it is, Cardia. You know, she has these things
that she likes and it's not it's not she doesn't
have an expensive habit of spending, right, So even if
I got her, I mean, one year, I took a
picture of our wedding and had it not laminated but
(32:20):
printed on this aluminum piece and hung in our bedroom
to remind her, Hey, this is who we were, this
is what happened that day, and that was her anniversary present.
You know. I think it cost me like one hundred
and fifty bucks and that was it, you know, and
she was super happy. It's very sentimental because I put
some thought into it. And those are the kind of
gifts I like, by the way, Yeah, yeah, because we
(32:41):
get to see it.
Speaker 3 (32:42):
Yeah, you could buy like for me, like I could
buy my own present if I want it, right, But
like those things I would never do for myself, right,
but they mean so much to me, right if you
took the time to like get all these pictures together
and maybe took me down memory road, because it's something
that I normally want to do for myself.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
So I like the kind of gifts that I normally
wouldn't do for myself, right, Versus like clothes, I go
buy clothes if I want some, and I'm very picky
with clothes, so I want to buy my own clothes,
not yet what you bring me, and I'm like, oh damn,
I'm never going to wear this thing.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Right, So is that kind of how your relationship is
now where you guys really don't buy each other presence.
It's just like I just had a birthday, right, yeah,
and you're gonna have a birthday soon.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
So next week. Yeah, but.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
You know, I didn't want to do anything. I didn't
want to go anywhere. We ended up going to Big Beer,
having a nice just get away. I had a nice
Italian dinner. I even had dessert and tried to, you know,
kind of celebrate it. And I think somebody asked, what
did you get for your birthday? I'm like, well, I
don't know what I want. You know, I kind of
want a new Harley. I don't know that I want
(33:52):
to spend the money on a new Harley because I
already have a nice Harley. So it's like I don't
really want to buy myself something expensive. I don't really know,
So I ended up getting nothing. Yeah, you know, it's okay, though,
It's okay, like you I could just go get anything
pretty much anything I want, but yep, it's just Stu.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
Yeah no, And I think, uh, I think when its
like with me, I hate the reason I hate Valentines
and I'm probably the worst at Valentine's. I wish I
could be a little more romantic during Valentine's but I
hate someone telling me that I have to buy a
present or that I have to be romantic, which is
what Valentine's is. Like, I want to buy a present
(34:33):
because I feel like it, not because it's Valentine's and
I'm pressured by you know, someone who decided to make
that a commercial day so you can go spend a
bunch of money. I am so right there me For me,
it's hard to do it, like I just like. But
but then randomly I'll come home and I'll just get
her a kick ass gift, you know. Yeah, those are
(34:56):
the gifts I like because I'm like I wanted to.
I didn't have the pressure of it's Valentines and it's
this day, so I got to get you a present, right,
Anniversary a little different, you got to sort of do something.
But my favorite, my favorite one now is now I
just tell Teddy, hey, I'm gonna take a shop and
let's go let her choose something, and yeah, you can
(35:17):
choose it for sometimes and I just I like seeing
the joy that she gets to pick out what she
wants versus before she was like you pick it out,
And I picked stuff out and I think she liked it.
But I actually like when I take her and she
could actually pick exactly what she wants, what'd you do
for your tenth year anniversary? That's an interesting question. I
(35:41):
was just thinking about that the other day. I don't
really I have a bad time memorizing the years. I know.
I bought her an expensive freaking ring that was one
of those that's a two year present for you, Teddy,
it's not an anniversary. That's a two year present for you.
Lasted about six months. That's funny, but it's funny. Now
(36:06):
I have to, like, seriously, I have to. It's almost
like got to keep count, because the other day she
was like, you didn't buy me anything for Valentine's And
then she said something like, oh, last Mother's Day. Because
Mother's Day's coming out. She had me thinking that I
didn't buy anything. I'm like, did I not buy something
for Mother's Day? And then sure enough I go home
and I saw I remembered the shoes and the glasses
(36:31):
that I bought her, and we were in Vegas. Now
granted I bought it early, so I bought it. I
think we were in Vegas April twenty eighth of last year,
and I specifically said, all right, this is your Mother's
Day gift. I'm buying it early. And then, of course
for Mother's Day, I took her to dinner or lunch
or wherever we went, and she's like, you didn't get
(36:54):
me anything for Mother's Day. And I remember. I'm like, man, damn,
I don't get anything on Mother's Day. And then luckily
I remembered because we were with another couple and they're like, yeah,
I remember you were. Because we're going back and forth.
Did I get her a present? Did I not? I'm like, dude,
I know I got you a present. And then finally
the other couple's like, yeah, we were in Vegas. Remember
you bought her this, this, this, And I'm like, yes,
it was just April twenty eighth. And I get so
(37:17):
excited that I want to give the gift right away.
Yeah right, versus let's wait another ten days from other's day, right. Yeah.
So anyway, that's the next one I got coming. I
gotta figure out what I'm getting from Mother's Day. So
much pressure. I know, in a perfect world, don't get
me anything. I will get you anything. We'll call it
a day. Yeah, one least thing we got to worry about.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Yeah, but I.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
It doesn't work that way.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
Here's another reason why we're so much alike, because when
you were talking about you know, you can buyer anything anytime.
I just learned that concept. I was shopping for I
think Christmas or something like that, and I found a gift.
I was shopping and I saw this really cute jacket
that I thought all my wife would love it, and
(38:04):
I bought the jacket. I saved it in the garage
and a bag, you know, and I said, I'm going
to give it to her for Valentine's Day, And the
whole time I wanted to give it to her, like
I just, I just I don't need to.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
Valentine's get so excited.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
Yeah, you gets so excited because I really think she'd
look cute on it. And I felt really proud that
I did this because I saw something that reminded me
of her that would look super cute on her. And
sure enough, you know, I was dying and Valentine's came
and I gave her the gift and I was super excited, like, Okay,
I think I could do it this way because when
(38:39):
it comes to thinking, okay, Mother's Days next week and back,
when am I going to get I haven't thought about it,
and you know, I got to go rush out and
get something and as stressful, and then you might get
something that's stupid and she'll be mad.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
At you if you exactly. I don't want her to
be mad at me exactly.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Hey have you looked at some of the reviews that
we've had on our podcast? I have not. I need
to do a better job of that. I'll read a
couple and then we'll move on because I.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
Hope they're good. Or should we just read the bad ones?
There are no bad ones. There's no bad ones bad ones.
Thank you guys for now leaving negative ones. And you
know what we want the truth. You know, the truth
won't kill us. So this first review is from C
Sanders excellent podcast, The Eds. We're both well spoken, wonderful introduction,
(39:32):
looking forward to listening all the time. The ladies, Tamer
and Teddy should be very proud of their husbands. The
boys did a phenomenal job. Pretty cool, right, Yeah, that's
pretty cool. Here's another one bad for some first timers.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
You two truly are better halves lol. I know. Really
enjoyed the podcast, appreciated the honesty and humbleness. Edwin's story
is worth sharing everywhere, being an example that no matter
where you come from or what you've gone through are
not defined. You are not defined by those circumstances. Totally
(40:04):
on your side.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
Super cool. I love that.
Speaker 1 (40:06):
Yeah, I'm going to read one more just just a
call today and we'll end with this great swing at
the first pitch.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
Great first show.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
I really enjoyed listening to both of your stories from
your early childhoods. You came across very interesting and comfortable,
which gave you, which gave your first podcast a real
sense of ease. Bravo, no pun intended. I look forward
to learning more about you both, and you are taking
a life your take on life and all it has
(40:36):
to offer. Congrats on an excellent show.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
So very cool.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
I don't know how you feel about that, but I
feel pretty good. You know, I didn't know what's good start. Yeah,
I got better, I think, yeah, we could only get
better from here. And another thing, you know, you guys
that are listening to us, tell us what you want
to once to talk about. You know what you want
to hear from us, and if there's anything you know,
nothing's off the table. Were willing to talk about anything
(41:01):
except politics and religion? Yes, awesome, great talking to you,
bud I hope.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
Likewise, yeah, I hope you're doing well and we'll talk soon.
This is The Eds with Eddie Judge and Edwin Aroyavi.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
The husbands know best a too cheese production.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
All right, So because it's wedding season, it's time to
talk a little bit about what the guys think about,
you know, weddings and anniversaries. And you know, we talked
about my televice proposal and wedding experience with my wife
on TV, which is an amazing experience. And we touched
a little bit about you getting married in Paris. But
(00:29):
I'd like to learn a little bit more about your
journey to Paris and did you ask John for permission
to get married for her hand? And how did you
propose to her? And what was tell me all about
the wedding in Paris. That sounds like an amazing experience. Yeah,
But the funny thing is I was always afraid of
getting married. That was actually one of my biggest fears.
(00:51):
And it was because at least sixty or seventy percent
of my friends that got married were getting a divorce, right,
and I was just trying to.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
In my head, maybe I'd get married at like forty
five or something like that. Anyway, Teddy and I get
pretty serious, and you know, the talk comes up of
should we get married, should we not? And I remember
thinking to myself at the time. I told Teddy, I'm like, look,
(01:21):
I do want to get married, but like I take
care of my entire family, like I've been taking care
of my family since I was fifteen. I'm like, what
if you wake up five years from now and you
don't want to be married to me? Like now, I
got to give you half my stuff, And I said,
I don't have John Mellencamp money yet. And you know,
(01:44):
John could afford to get divorced for three, three four
different times. I'm like, I can't if I get divorced
one time, I'm losing half my stuff. I got to
take care of my mom. Blah blah blah. So she's like,
I don't care about your money, and I'm like, all right, answer,
And so that put me a little more at peace,
and she's just like, don't touch my money. It's like, mho,
(02:07):
we got we got a deal. But I was still
freaking out, and I remember going back and forth and
finally I told her, look, I can't marry. I'm just
I can't. And you know, I remember it was a
tough night that night because she cried. I cried, I'm
just like I can't do it. And the next day
(02:29):
I'm driving and I thought to myself, what am I
so scared of? Like I've always been sort of a
risk taker, and why am I so afraid on this?
And I already know I want to marry her? Like
what am I trying to? Why am I waiting? And
there was this start in my head though that was like, Okay,
(02:49):
well maybe if I buy the rank, I could buy
myself some time and you know, maybe we'll get married
two years after. But screw it, I'm by the ranks.
I went, I bought the ring and I called John
and I just basically said, hey, John, I want to
marry your daughter and I think she's the best thing
that's ever happened to me, and I'm going to take
(03:14):
care of her and you got my word that I'm
going to be the best husband possible. And he was
he was like, yeah, you know, I if that's what
you guys want to do. I fully supported, and then
I ended up proposing to her. I bought her a nice,
I think Gucci jacket, and I put the ring in
(03:34):
the jacket and I proposed in front of my entire
family when we were living out in Woodland Hills. It's
a special moment. But then then we don't have a date.
Right in my head, I'm thinking the date's going to
be two years later, right, And that buys me a
little time again because I'm just it was a me thing.
It wasn't a Teddy thing.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
I was just scared, right.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
And then of course we go around and you know,
everybody's congratulating us on the engagement, but what do you think?
The first question is when you get engaged, when's doa
any and our answer was we don't know. So then
Teddy's like, you know, I feel really stupid that we
don't have a date. I'm like, oh, here we go,
(04:20):
so we still don't have a date. Anyway. Six months later,
we're about to her dad's going on a tour in Europe,
and Teddy's like, you know what, why don't we get
married in Paris. My dad's going to be touring, it's
fourth to July is going to be in Paris. We
can just get married fourth to July. And then my
(04:41):
dream was always if I ever did have a wedding,
I'd have it. I'd have what do you call those
weddings when you fly out and get away wedding and where, yeah, where,
It's just a few of us, and I don't have
to worry about who I invited, who I didn't invite.
I just kind of wanted to do it quick. You
have twenty close people. And that's exactly what ended up happening.
(05:05):
And we took off to Paris, but two weeks prior
to leaving. I mean, this is how freaked out I was.
I wake up in the middle of the night and
I can't move my entire left side of my body,
like I'm thinking I'm having it and I'm probably in
one of the best shapes in my life. And it
(05:26):
must have been at least a minute to two minutes.
I couldn't move the entire left side of my body,
and I felt like I was having a heart attack.
And I remember saying, like, God, don't let me go
out like this. And I'm trying to wake up Teddy,
but I can't talk. It's just it's weird. I can't move,
so I go to the hospital. I spent the entire
day in that hospital. I had to wear a heart
(05:48):
monitor for an entire week just to find out what
was wrong. With my heart because my whole left arm
went numb. Well it was eight days. So I did
that for an entire week, and it turns out I
had a panic attack. I've never I've never had that
in my life, and I've dealt with a lot of
stressful situations. By the way, that's never ever happened to me,
(06:12):
and God will it will never happen to me again.
But that's how freaked out I was. And Teddy's like,
maybe we shouldn't fled, Like, no, we're going to get married.
So then cut to we're in Paris and we're having
a great time. We're about to get married, and you
know the part, I can't make this up. I put
(06:34):
this on everything. I had, put my alarm back then
I used to wake up at six am. Well six
am is two pm in Paris, right, so we're about
to get married. We walk out and the eye blah
blah blah. It's really nice. We were on top of
some roof at some hotel and so we're looking the
Eiffel Tower. So we took these beautiful pictures. I got
(06:55):
to fly out my family, so my siblings, my mom
came out. They'd never been Europe, so it was just
perfect right. And who organized it all? I mean Eddy
ed he found someone in Paris and they did just
a great job just organizing the entire thing. It's funny
my mom, who doesn't speak Spanish, I mean doesn't speak English.
(07:18):
My mama doesn't speak a lick of English, is hanging
out with Meg Ryan and they're talking. My sister's like
hanging out with her. I remember, I remember we used
to watch your movies and like, oh, shoot, now my
mom's talking to Meg Ryan. I'm like, that's that's pretty cool, right. Anyway,
you know the part when you're getting married and they say,
if anybody of Jack's or whatever that's whatever that phrase is,
(07:41):
I kid you not. As he's saying that, myles, I'm
about to start crying, and I'm like, I did not
want to cry at my wedding, but I'm feeling I'm like, damn,
I'm gonna start crying like crazy right now. And he says,
does anybody of Jack blah blah blah. My alarm goes
off and in my head, I'm thinking, is this guy
(08:05):
telling me not to get married? So there's this picture
of Teddy and I and we're just dying of like,
we just started immediately laughing because when my alarm went off,
John's like, you gotta be shitting mate, We just started laughing. Anyway,
we end up getting married and we had a blast.
(08:28):
My family had a blast. Some of the best pictures
we've ever taken were there and it's a special moment.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
How many people were there?
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Twenty of us, so it was Teddy's immediate family and
then it was my immediate family, so there's probably eighteen
twenty people there. And then our honeymoon was basically going
around with John all over Europe while he was touring.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
How long was that?
Speaker 2 (08:51):
It's probably a good ten day. So when we went
to Germany, we went to Milan, we went to Florin,
we went to England. Where else should we go? We
went to a bunch of places where he was touring.
It was cool because everywhere we went we got the
red carpet treatment.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
So wow, what is awesome experience? Yeah, yep, but.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Art monitor and my alarm went off, and it's worked
out so far. It's gonna be fifteenth. This will be
our fifteenth year together and it's thirteen years married in
our anniversaries fourth of July, so it's kind of hard
to forget that one. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Yeah, So you get to celebrate for the July and
your anniversary every year.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
And then her birthday is on the first, so you
got the first and the fourth.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
So I kind of get away with just an entire
weekend whether and just you know, yeah, and it's fireworks
every year. It's fir Secret year. Exactly. That's fantastic.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
That's gonna be a hard one not to forget, you know,
it's for the July, come on, yeah, exactly, and it's
Independence Day.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
I can't believe how fast it goes, though. How long
have you guys been together?
Speaker 1 (10:10):
By the way, we have been together thirteen years married,
ten And I always whenever somebody asked me that questions,
I always realized that these last not just ten years married,
but that the whole thirteen years have gone by so
freaking fast, like almost like I feel like I just
(10:31):
met her last year and we're still just trying to
figure out, you know, what are we going to do
with our life together? Right, But there's been so much
that's happened, and I think big part of it is
because she's been on TV for so long. Yeah, we've
lived this crazy world wind of life where we're walking
(10:51):
red carpets, we're attending, you know, high level events, we're
invited to these great VIP experiences, you know, traveling. I
was traveling a lot when I first met her, and
I just take her on my trips to you know, Brazil, Europe,
(11:13):
anywhere in the world that I could go, I would
take her with me. And I think that's one of
the things that we missed mostly about, you know, since
since COVID and COVID shutting down the world, we missed
traveling that much like we used to. But that's that
was one of the things that just made our life.
Just our relationships just go by so fast. You know,
(11:34):
how long were you guys together before you decided to
ask her to marry you?
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Three years? Three years?
Speaker 1 (11:40):
So, like I said, we met and it was probably
about a month after she left her ex and moved
down on Rome that we started dating. And it was fun.
It was just never never thought I would be marrying her,
you know. It was just such a chemistry between us
and easy talking and and just time spent together was
(12:05):
so nice and relaxing, and everything just kind of made
sense when we took it's little by little, one step
at a time where she moved out, she stabilized her herself,
and then she stabilized her kids, you know, going through
the whole divorce. It's just it was a nightmare, right,
And she lived on her own for a couple of years.
I think before we started talking about marriage, and if
(12:28):
you remember, we were talking about just having a little
beach wedding with a few people, and then producers found
out and we ended up having this giant, enormous wedding,
which I don't regret at all. It was an incredible wedding.
But then she moved in, and you know, well before
she moved in, she her her son, her oldest son,
(12:49):
had a pitbull named Bronx that you know, needed a
home because he was moving into an apartment. And I
had just bought this house here in Ladera, and you know,
being single and living in this and I decked it
out with you know, darkwood floors and you know, the
brand new house. So I was all really proud of it.
Nothing was out of place, and I was real anal
at the time. And she says, hey, have a dog.
(13:11):
Can you have a dog, because you know we're going
to need a dog for Spencer. When when he moves
in with us, you know, or moves into the house,
I'm like, okay, but he's going to be an outdoor dog.
He's not going to be inside. And sure enough, it
took about a week before I fell in love with
the dog, and I think I slept with them one time,
and I'm like, yeah, no, I can't sleep with the dog.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Forget it.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
You know, I love you, but you're gonna have to
sleep downstairs or in your cage. And he ended up
ruling the house and ruining my floors and ruining the backyard.
But he brought so much love and so much stability
to the family, particularly because he was he became basically
Spencer's dog. He slept with Spencer the entire time that
(13:52):
he was with us, and he was just an amazing dog.
But that was probably our biggest connection with between me
and the kids, was that dog, right, that dog that
just you know, brought us together and made us a family.
It was a it was a smooth but rough transition
because the divorce was just an ugly divorce. The guy
was really using the kids to try to get to
(14:14):
Tamra and he didn't give a shit about their mental
health or you know what the effects were going to
be on them. So it was really hard on the
kids because of that. Otherwise, you know, it could have
been easy. He could have gone his way. She obviously
was happy in her relationship, and the kids would have
been great and they would have got it. But it
was such an ugly public divorce that I really didn't
(14:38):
even see. We both didn't really see ourselves getting married
because it was such an ugly public divorce. You know,
it just didn't really makes sense to do that. And
that's probably the biggest reasons why we wanted to just
have a small little wedding without announcing it to the world.
You know, our lives are already on a platform and
everything is out there that she does, and she doesn't
(15:00):
hold back, as you know, she just puts it all
out there, and I'm like, there's got to be some
sort of you know, privacy here.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
By the way, did you guys do uh prenup or
no prenup?
Speaker 1 (15:12):
We did not do a prenup. You know, it just
it didn't make any sense, and I think from our
generation it didn't. It was it was a negative connotation
to have a prenup. Right. It was like, well, if
you don't trust me, I don't trust you. And it
was one of those things like plus, I mean, I
didn't have a lot. I had a house, I had
a career, and you know I had money in the bank,
(15:34):
but I didn't have I wasn't wealthy, so it didn't
matter to me. And of course she was on a
show and she's on her way to making a lot
of money. But she said, no, I don't. I don't
think this is something that applies to us. So, yeah,
you know, we had a prenup.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
I was going to ask you that, you know. So
that was the whole That was the whole conversation. That's
that's when I go, all right, I'm in. And I said, look,
if we do a prenup, we're good. And I won't
get any of your money. You know, whatever John leaves you,
you don't touch any of my money. And but the
funny part is, you know, now we've been married over
ten years. She always reminds me that, I guess after
(16:12):
you've been married for ten years that preenam goes away.
And it's so funny because the prenum was a very
aggressive one and like just freaked out. But it also,
I guess, showed me that she didn't really care about it.
And obviously she's got her own money, right, so she
doesn't really care. But that was kind of a big
(16:32):
deal for me that she would. And yeah, she reminds
me all the time. You know, it's it's over ten years.
I could take all your shit if I want, so,
she likes to remind me. It's a California law, which
I haven't even checked it, but apparently it is. So yeah,
that thing went by.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
By from my understanding, and I don't know how the
prenums work. I assumed it was kind of an iron
clad log like, hey, this is I keep what I
have at the time of the marriage, and you keep
what you have at the time of our marriage. And
then you add in some things like if you know.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
You forgot you were you were in law before.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Yeah, so if you inherit, you know, money from your
family you added into the prenup that you get to
keep it. And obviously I don't know if you had
any inheritance coming to you, but whatever you had at
the time is going to be yours when you got married.
And that's like I said, I all I had was
a house in a you know, a bank account and
a job. So I was doing very well and it
(17:33):
just didn't make any sense that a prenup would protect
us or protect her from from what you know, But
for you, I guess you know. What I learned in
this whole divorce thing is if you are together without
a prenup or even a wedding for ten years in California,
it's like being married. So you don't even need to
(17:54):
get married. You don't need a certificate, you don't even
need any of that. All your assets are subject to
you know, to a divorce.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
So oh, I don't know that you might as well
be getting married if you've been together for ten years, right, right.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
And I have a friend who got married in Miami
or in Florida, and he had a bunch of assets
and everything, and I was happy to be at the
wedding and everything. He was super happy, and I think
he got divorced a year later, and ever since then
he continued to build companies, you know, make a lot
of money. And he had he had a relationship with
(18:27):
the girl, but he wasn't going to marry her, and
he made it clearly and understanding with her that we're
not going to ever get married. So like, I get it.
I get it. You know, once you get screwed like that,
and you work your ass off so hard, right you know,
you know, I mean I don't know what the laws are.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
And well, that's what I never understood is that if
whether it's the husband or the wife, right, let's say
it's the it's the wife in this case, right, Yeah,
she wakes up one day three years later and she
just tells you, I don't love you anymore and I'm
out and maybe I found a new dude. Right, Yeah,
she can take half your stuff even though she's the
(19:05):
one that's leaving exactly.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
And this is California. This is like, that's what's crazy thing.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
And I've always felt even if it's the other way, right, like,
if I decide to leave, yeah, and it's I'm choosing
to leave, then why, it's like a double whammy. It's
like an insult to injury. You're going to leave you
and I'm still taking half your shit.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Yeah, So I mean it happens. It happens a lot.
I think you were saying sixty percent of marriages and
then divorce, and I truly believe that number is accurate,
especially in California. You know, there's so much distraction and
so much entitlement. And I don't know how these guys
do it that have a ton of money and date
(19:45):
these young women and marry them, you know what I mean, Like,
why are you getting married? Well, there must be some
sort of really ironclad bring up that you know, if
we get married, you're not You might get X, Y
and Z, but you're not going to get at all,
you know. And these guys that are wealthy and you know,
live that life and don't care about life or money
(20:05):
or anything or love. They end up getting divorced or
and lose a little bit of money. But I don't
know how they continue to do that. They get married
over and over and over. I mean there's been some
celebrities that get married like seven times. And you know,
these movie stars celebrities, they have a lot of money.
So how do they do They could afford, like you said,
they can afford to right, it's just got so much money.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
It's like, all, I get divorced three four times, no matter.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Yeah, But to really pinpoint the purpose behind marriage, you know,
I was always afraid because it is a big deal.
It is a big commitment. It's almost like the very
first time I ever had a not had to, but
expressed to a woman that I love you. You know,
it's like, that's that's so meaningful to me. I don't
(20:51):
know if I could just say it, you know, because
I don't know what love is. I was so young, right,
I don't know what impressed me, impressed upon me, or
who impressed upon me to value that so much that
I just didn't want to give it away. Right, I'm
just not going to say I love you just because
maybe it's a family trait. I don't know. I really
(21:11):
valued that. And then it came to, you know, getting
married as well. It's like I don't want to just
get married.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Yeah, By the way, what's your love language?
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Words of affirmation and actions, you know when when you know,
not necessarily gifts, but little things here and there. I mean,
Tara's really good about doing for me little things here
and there. When she makes me dinner, sometimes she's doing
it for me. She's not just making dinner just to
make dinner, you know what I mean. She asked me
what I want. She's real, she just really pays real
attention to what I like, what I don't like, and
(21:42):
she makes sure that you know it's going to be
an enjoyable dinner as opposed to oh yeah hungry, Okay,
well let's get door dash.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Jenny used to cook for me all the time before
we got married, and once we got married, cooking was over.
I know that you said that. I think it was
(22:09):
on the show that you wanted a small wedding, but
then I think the show found out that you were
going to have a wedding, so they offered to pay
for it, and then you made it, I think, a
pretty big wedding. So do you ever think back of
like what a small wedding would look like for you?
Speaker 1 (22:27):
I don't, and people have asked me that many times,
only because I just I had such an amazing experience
with the wedding that was produced and the way it
all happened when it was I think I told you
when I was presented to me, I was like, I
don't want to do this on TV. You know, based
(22:48):
on my experience with the Bravo Real Housewife show, it's
very toxic. I don't want any drama, and this is
supposed to be a very special thing for me.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Yeah, you got all the girls there, right, and.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Then all the girls there and all that. But it
turned out to be very well produced and very little drama.
Most of the drama had to do with, you know,
I want this and she wants that, you know, and
don't spend too much money on the wedding, and okay,
let's not talk about the budget, you know. So it's like,
all right, those things really are not important. I mean,
(23:21):
I just didn't want a girl fighting at her wedding
or throwing you know, the table or some stupid like
that just to get ratings right, nor to get attention.
But the way it all turned out, the way it
was all edited and produced and filmed, and and the
way the wedding planner handled it all, she really paid
(23:44):
attention to what Tamra was saying. She really understood my
desires on it. I mean, at the time, for example,
it was a little bit of a pointer. At the time,
I was very much addicted to gummy bears. Gummy bears
were my vice and that's what I love the most.
And the wedding planner somehow ended up getting gummy bears
(24:06):
all over the wedding hall and these two or three
i think five pound gummy bears the size of a
small baby.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Right.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
I'd never seen a gummy bear so big, and so
that was you know, I just one one way to
my heart and to impress me, and another. You know,
I was a big road cyclist at the time. I
used to ride my bike everywhere, and the wedding planner
ended up finding an old road bike and hanging it
(24:34):
from the rafters where we got married and putting flowers
and everything and painting it so it matches. And I'm like, wow,
you know, you really thought about all the things that
bring you know, happiness and value to me to make
this a real wedding, a real experience, versus, Oh, we're
going to hire the most expensive chefs. We're gonna hire
(24:55):
the most expensive this. We're gonna you know, have the
Gucci this and you know the pro of that, and
we're going to make it the most amazing wedding for TV.
You know that probably would have been boring for me
and so fake and empty that I probably would have
wanted a small wedding afterwards, you know, like that's kind
(25:17):
of what I was expecting. Also, like, hey, let's just
do a TV wedding for whatever that is. Let's just
get through it and after that, and that was our plan.
After that, we'll have a small, little wedding, a real
wedding quote unquote, and call it a day. But the
wedding was so incredibly put together, so real, so magical
that I don't regret anything about it. And I'm you know,
(25:40):
the only way I would do another small wedding is
that maybe we renew our valves. But we've seen how
that goes on on the show. You know, people renew
their vows and shit hits the fan. Maybe we should
do it together and we all we do it together.
It's been thirteen years. That would be awesome, like a
destination renew destination renewal.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Right, but that's pretty cool that you got all these
like special moments. Obviously have your bathtub moment that you
I'll always remember on your whatever. I think it was
the first date or whatever. But what I mean, how
magical is that that you can go back and look
at your wedding. I wish I could go back and
look at my Paris wedding. I could look at pictures,
but I don't have like a video like you guys do.
(26:23):
And I mean that's that's the benefit of doing it
through the show, right they I mean when I was
on the show, that's what I liked about it. I
was like, Oh, I'm going to get all this footage
with my kids, and I'm going to be able to
look back at that footage. It's gonna be pretty cool.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
So one of the one of the things I remember
having a decision on what the wedding was because it
was produced by a production company. I'm not going to
have access to the footage. I'm not going to have
access to the photos, right, and if I do, it's
going to be whatever they want to give me. So
I ended up hiring a videographer and a photographer. The
(26:58):
photographer was a really close friend of ours. She does weddings.
She was amazing, and she had connections with a videographer
who did a great job. So the video that I
watch every year is the video that was produced for
us by this videographer, privately videographer, and it was so
well done. I think I watch it every year because
(27:21):
it brings lears to me. It brings me back to
that moment and it's real.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Right.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
I've watched our actual three part series that Brable produced
maybe twice, and it's not the same. It's not the
same as watching just this one clip that I have
on my phone that I can watch. It's like an
eight minute clip and I just watch it every year
and it just reminds me, and I think subconsciously the
(27:49):
reason I watch it is because I think one of
the things I've experienced in life is you kind of
take things you have for granted generally, right, whether it's
materialistic stuff or relationships or even yourself, your talents, your skills,
and your abilities, right, you kind of take them for granted.
(28:09):
And I know that if it's out of sight, out
of mind, they kind of lose attention. And that's happened
with friendships, that's happened with you know, even companies that
I've had employees, and all relationships in general. So with this,
I feel like, if I don't bring this to mine
(28:31):
every year and remind me how incredibly magical that moment was,
I might I might lose it. I might lose that love,
I might lose I might start taking it for granted,
and I might lose that magic I have with her.
So maybe that's talking to me subconsciously and why I
do it. But yeah, every time I watch it, I
do getteried, and that was seriously. I was at my
(28:54):
visiting my grandmother just a few days ago, and she's
kind of going, you know, she's going to be ninety
nine years old this year, so she's kind of having
Alzheimer's and in the conversations we have are kind of like, oh, wait,
did you do you live in Mexico, Like, well, no,
I don't live in Mexico. I'm about twenty five minutes away.
(29:14):
So I spent some time showing her some videos of
my new dog and you know, my life. And then
I came across the wedding video and I'm like, oh,
watch this, and she was in the wedding. She was
in the video, and it just made it that more
magical to have this content where she was a big
part of the wedding. She walked down the aisle with me,
(29:37):
she was in the video. I watched her and the
impact was, you know, I don't know when I'm going
to lose her, but it's not too long from now.
So I have her here, and I have my wife,
and I have this magic moment that's going to live
with me for the rest of my life. So there's
so many impactful reasons why I watched that video, and
(29:59):
I think that's why I get taridite, because every time
I watch it, I get taite.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Have you ever forgot your anniversary?
Speaker 1 (30:07):
No, it's it's it's kind of hard because you know,
I have this video reminds me it's on my calendar,
and I don't want to be that guy that forgets it.
It's it's again very important to me for the longevity
of our wedding, you know, of our marriage, of our
of our life together. This is this was a big
(30:28):
important part in our life and I never want to
forget it.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
What about gifts? Does do gifts get you nervous?
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Like?
Speaker 2 (30:43):
What do I get it this year? Like you got
to keep continuing to level up? Or what it was?
Speaker 1 (30:49):
It's like yes and no, yes, because of the social pressures.
You know, it's up there with this whole you gotta
spend thirty percent of your anial salary onto a wedding. Shit,
that was you know. What I know now is that
it was a marketing scheme that was designed by the
jewelry company, the jewelry industry that convinced guys to do that.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
I'm glad I didn't fall for it. Because the times
I've given Teddy some really nice anniversary presents, I'm like,
all right, that's your anniversary, that's your birthday, and that's
Christmas and that's Valentine's everything. Ask me for another present.
I go in there with my negotiation skills. Yeah. The
(31:33):
other thing is my wife.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
And this is one of the other reasons I love
her so much is that she is not high maintenance.
She personally won't spend stupid money on herself. Like I'm
the one that buys her the two thousand dollars pair
of shoes. She won't do it, you know. And even
though she probably won't do it, I went out and
bought her the six thousand dollars stupid gold bracelet that
(31:59):
go on her wrist that locks down on Cardier. That's
what it is, Cardia. You know, she has these things
that she likes and it's not it's not she doesn't
have an expensive habit of spending, right, So even if
I got her, I mean, one year, I took a
picture of our wedding and had it not laminated but
(32:20):
printed on this aluminum piece and hung in our bedroom
to remind her, Hey, this is who we were, this
is what happened that day, and that was her anniversary present.
You know. I think it cost me like one hundred
and fifty bucks and that was it, you know, and
she was super happy. It's very sentimental because I put
some thought into it. And those are the kind of
gifts I like, by the way, Yeah, yeah, because we
(32:41):
get to see it.
Speaker 3 (32:42):
Yeah, you could buy like for me, like I could
buy my own present if I want it, right, But
like those things I would never do for myself, right,
but they mean so much to me, right if you
took the time to like get all these pictures together
and maybe took me down memory road, because it's something
that I normally want to do for myself.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
So I like the kind of gifts that I normally
wouldn't do for myself, right, Versus like clothes, I go
buy clothes if I want some, and I'm very picky
with clothes, so I want to buy my own clothes,
not yet what you bring me, and I'm like, oh damn,
I'm never going to wear this thing.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Right, So is that kind of how your relationship is
now where you guys really don't buy each other presence.
It's just like I just had a birthday, right, yeah,
and you're gonna have a birthday soon.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
So next week. Yeah, but.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
You know, I didn't want to do anything. I didn't
want to go anywhere. We ended up going to Big Beer,
having a nice just get away. I had a nice
Italian dinner. I even had dessert and tried to, you know,
kind of celebrate it. And I think somebody asked, what
did you get for your birthday? I'm like, well, I
don't know what I want. You know, I kind of
want a new Harley. I don't know that I want
(33:52):
to spend the money on a new Harley because I
already have a nice Harley. So it's like I don't
really want to buy myself something expensive. I don't really know,
So I ended up getting nothing. Yeah, you know, it's okay, though,
It's okay, like you I could just go get anything
pretty much anything I want, but yep, it's just Stu.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
Yeah no, And I think, uh, I think when its
like with me, I hate the reason I hate Valentines
and I'm probably the worst at Valentine's. I wish I
could be a little more romantic during Valentine's but I
hate someone telling me that I have to buy a
present or that I have to be romantic, which is
what Valentine's is. Like, I want to buy a present
(34:33):
because I feel like it, not because it's Valentine's and
I'm pressured by you know, someone who decided to make
that a commercial day so you can go spend a
bunch of money. I am so right there me For me,
it's hard to do it, like I just like. But
but then randomly I'll come home and I'll just get
her a kick ass gift, you know. Yeah, those are
(34:56):
the gifts I like because I'm like I wanted to.
I didn't have the pressure of it's Valentines and it's
this day, so I got to get you a present, right,
Anniversary a little different, you got to sort of do something.
But my favorite, my favorite one now is now I
just tell Teddy, hey, I'm gonna take a shop and
let's go let her choose something, and yeah, you can
(35:17):
choose it for sometimes and I just I like seeing
the joy that she gets to pick out what she
wants versus before she was like you pick it out,
And I picked stuff out and I think she liked it.
But I actually like when I take her and she
could actually pick exactly what she wants, what'd you do
for your tenth year anniversary? That's an interesting question. I
(35:41):
was just thinking about that the other day. I don't
really I have a bad time memorizing the years. I know.
I bought her an expensive freaking ring that was one
of those that's a two year present for you, Teddy,
it's not an anniversary. That's a two year present for you.
Lasted about six months. That's funny, but it's funny. Now
(36:06):
I have to, like, seriously, I have to. It's almost
like got to keep count, because the other day she
was like, you didn't buy me anything for Valentine's And
then she said something like, oh, last Mother's Day. Because
Mother's Day's coming out. She had me thinking that I
didn't buy anything. I'm like, did I not buy something
for Mother's Day? And then sure enough I go home
and I saw I remembered the shoes and the glasses
(36:31):
that I bought her, and we were in Vegas. Now
granted I bought it early, so I bought it. I
think we were in Vegas April twenty eighth of last year,
and I specifically said, all right, this is your Mother's
Day gift. I'm buying it early. And then, of course
for Mother's Day, I took her to dinner or lunch
or wherever we went, and she's like, you didn't get
(36:54):
me anything for Mother's Day. And I remember. I'm like, man, damn,
I don't get anything on Mother's Day. And then luckily
I remembered because we were with another couple and they're like, yeah,
I remember you were. Because we're going back and forth.
Did I get her a present? Did I not? I'm like, dude,
I know I got you a present. And then finally
the other couple's like, yeah, we were in Vegas. Remember
you bought her this, this, this, And I'm like, yes,
it was just April twenty eighth. And I get so
(37:17):
excited that I want to give the gift right away.
Yeah right, versus let's wait another ten days from other's day, right. Yeah.
So anyway, that's the next one I got coming. I
gotta figure out what I'm getting from Mother's Day. So
much pressure. I know, in a perfect world, don't get
me anything. I will get you anything. We'll call it
a day. Yeah, one least thing we got to worry about.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Yeah, but I.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
It doesn't work that way.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
Here's another reason why we're so much alike, because when
you were talking about you know, you can buyer anything anytime.
I just learned that concept. I was shopping for I
think Christmas or something like that, and I found a gift.
I was shopping and I saw this really cute jacket
that I thought all my wife would love it, and
(38:04):
I bought the jacket. I saved it in the garage
and a bag, you know, and I said, I'm going
to give it to her for Valentine's Day, And the
whole time I wanted to give it to her, like
I just, I just I don't need to.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
Valentine's get so excited.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
Yeah, you gets so excited because I really think she'd
look cute on it. And I felt really proud that
I did this because I saw something that reminded me
of her that would look super cute on her. And
sure enough, you know, I was dying and Valentine's came
and I gave her the gift and I was super excited, like, Okay,
I think I could do it this way because when
(38:39):
it comes to thinking, okay, Mother's Days next week and back,
when am I going to get I haven't thought about it,
and you know, I got to go rush out and
get something and as stressful, and then you might get
something that's stupid and she'll be mad.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
At you if you exactly. I don't want her to
be mad at me exactly.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Hey have you looked at some of the reviews that
we've had on our podcast? I have not. I need
to do a better job of that. I'll read a
couple and then we'll move on because I.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
Hope they're good. Or should we just read the bad ones?
There are no bad ones. There's no bad ones bad ones.
Thank you guys for now leaving negative ones. And you
know what we want the truth. You know, the truth
won't kill us. So this first review is from C
Sanders excellent podcast, The Eds. We're both well spoken, wonderful introduction,
(39:32):
looking forward to listening all the time. The ladies, Tamer
and Teddy should be very proud of their husbands. The
boys did a phenomenal job. Pretty cool, right, Yeah, that's
pretty cool. Here's another one bad for some first timers.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
You two truly are better halves lol. I know. Really
enjoyed the podcast, appreciated the honesty and humbleness. Edwin's story
is worth sharing everywhere, being an example that no matter
where you come from or what you've gone through are
not defined. You are not defined by those circumstances. Totally
(40:04):
on your side.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
Super cool. I love that.
Speaker 1 (40:06):
Yeah, I'm going to read one more just just a
call today and we'll end with this great swing at
the first pitch.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
Great first show.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
I really enjoyed listening to both of your stories from
your early childhoods. You came across very interesting and comfortable,
which gave you, which gave your first podcast a real
sense of ease. Bravo, no pun intended. I look forward
to learning more about you both, and you are taking
a life your take on life and all it has
(40:36):
to offer. Congrats on an excellent show.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
So very cool.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
I don't know how you feel about that, but I
feel pretty good. You know, I didn't know what's good start. Yeah,
I got better, I think, yeah, we could only get
better from here. And another thing, you know, you guys
that are listening to us, tell us what you want
to once to talk about. You know what you want
to hear from us, and if there's anything you know,
nothing's off the table. Were willing to talk about anything
(41:01):
except politics and religion? Yes, awesome, great talking to you,
bud I hope.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
Likewise, yeah, I hope you're doing well and we'll talk soon.
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