April 29, 2024 • 38 mins
Monday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, if you missed Friday’s playhouse - the early riser’s edition is here.. - If your still feeling cloudy from the weekend, Robert Earl Keen’s “Swerving In My Lane” should give your Monday a little sunshine.. - Marci takes a shot at hosting her own “Masters Class” - with “Tater’s Academy of Accents”.. - We’ve got a cut from the late Tim Wilson’s comedy album, “But I Could Be Wrong” - as he explores southern accents.. - Willie Nelson turns 91 today, so of course we’ll play, “Still Not Dead”.. - and Ike Turner sings his classic, “Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Can of BBQ Viennies”..
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning, the big shows on the radio.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Hang on, all right, listen to you, morg it's time
to button your yap. Say, I'm trying to listen to
these two clowns, John Boyn Belly on the Big Show. Yeah,
the Big Show. It's big, say bigger than big. It's enormous. Hey,
he's adorable.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Dog a doon loo up and at him. I'm happy
to be here on Monday morning for some reason, now,
y'all every Monday. Happy to be here, y'all. Just make
(01:10):
me smile, make me happy. No, not a lot of
people getting up this morning, some of you you consider
yourself love. You're getting up, man, going to work on
me around people.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
I really like you're not gonna write me a song,
are you?
Speaker 1 (01:26):
I want you to do that. I'm gonna be the
male Taylor Swift all right, okay you could? You just
want to guide me through it. I can't wait to
see the outfits. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know
about the I like the the dance girl, lion tamer deal.
(01:48):
Yeah you know, yeah I can hook you up for that,
not for me.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Out that with the shoulder to the oah, the shoulder
plate and things and yeah, yeah, I know what you.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Talk about, right, and anytime, you know, like the little uh,
let me say Britney had the Catholic girl outfit, right, yeah, schoolgirl, yeah,
the schoolgirl. Yeah, but uh you know the little the
checkered green skirts said did you go to Catholic school? Tape?
Like one of those uniform deals?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
I did not?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Oh god, yeah, sorry? Is it better if I told
you I did? They'd already giving up on her by then.
My school, I hate they were like now I know
about Marty and Daddy.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
I know.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
I love hearing tales about how he raised You did
a great job, by the way too, thank you. Yes,
all right, yeah they did. They went through school all
the way through.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Uh yeah, graduated.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
So I just wanted to but well, I don't even
be thinking about the schoolgirl outfits. First thing in the morning,
I just thripp what's songs you pictured me? Let's say
we got three national days we can tell you about.
Dis April the twenty ninth National Zipper Day. Uh it
(02:59):
was first and eighteen fifty one. Elias Howe came up
with a zipper national piece. Rose Day is the light
yellow to large cream colored flowers of the piece. Rose
slightly flushed, crimson, pink petal edges flowers. Wow, sounds this
(03:20):
national shrimp scampy Day. All right? Have you ever tried
a shrimp scampy day? There, Randy, old boy, are we
in trouble?
Speaker 5 (03:31):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (03:31):
Shrimp scampy is really easy. Yeah, we we have it often.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
The butter, garlic, lemon juice, white wine. You gotta get
the fresh shrimp. That's a whole deal with it right there.
Speaker 6 (03:40):
Yeah, Unfortunately I don't have any hook maybe.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Yeah, well, if I can get home early one weekend,
I'll foll. Okay, we got three dates saved up. That'll
be our categories for the outbursts. We'll get the first
prize back out and get a week's worth of winter
and beginning Beggshow's on the radio. Good morning on the
Big Shows on the radio. Get the first prize back out,
old right, one hundred and twenty dollars. Where the Bulls
(04:05):
Not cleaning products made in the USA. Truck drivers keep
America moving, and bulls not make sure they look good
doing it. Look for Bullsnout at truck stops across America.
You can download the Bull's Not app. You go to
Big show dot com, click on the bull snot batterer
from more info. Hang on when you some here, give
you three days in history. Where we're going our categories
(04:26):
start off with The Simpsons. Twenty eighteen Animate a series
of Simpsons surpasses the six hundred and thirty five episode
count of Gunsmoke, highest number of episodes of any series
on TV. That is Outrazy Simpsons, Big Gun Smoke. Oh yeah,
(04:47):
Move up to twenty twenty two of London court sentence
retired tennis star Boris Becker to two and a half
years in prison for hiding assets during bankruptcy proceedings. Man,
that was just a couple of years ago. I don't
remember hearing about it that brs Becker didn't pay his taxes.
(05:08):
Tough for where.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
London, baby, I said thing he didn't want to claim
all this.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
I got you. That's still kind of cheating, Oh bankruptsy.
That was during bank but he has already broken save
some assts. I got you.
Speaker 6 (05:23):
And by the way, there's no such thing as kind
of cheating on your.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Taxes, no I rs. Let's move up a year. April
twenty ninth, twenty twenty three. Country singer Willie Nelson, host
of the first of to night ninetieth birthday concerts for
himself at the Hollywood Bowl in LA. But man, I
(05:47):
was wondering about that. Yeah, so Willie, we have him.
I had him marked to enjoy his birthday and I haven't, Tater,
I don't know. You can check this. Willie Nelson is
eighty one today, but it says ninety one. Yeah your host,
oh man, that type. Oh yeah, that's all right, okay,
good you would have caught that. Get out of the way.
Speaker 7 (06:11):
That's okay.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
It's probably my fault. I mean, Willie, ninety one ain't
no way to live ninety one. It must be eighty one. Yeah,
I know that's what I'm I'm probably realizing it. Okay, okay,
all right, at least I'm awake now.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
Yeah, Willie Nelson could party for two nights.
Speaker 7 (06:31):
At US through the morning.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Told you should have had that nap, isn't it? Alright?
Speaker 4 (06:37):
Y'all?
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Well, there's the three categories. Okay, we're ready to go.
One ain't big show? You're toe free line, Come on
and play out birds next. Good morning, it's a big
(07:10):
show on the radio running through your Monday. Check out
today's featured track from the Big Show bit Box brock
You by Seana Motor Speedway and a co coda six
hundred and Sunday, May twenty six, Ike Turner sings all
one of our own time favorites. It'sy bitsy teeny weenie
can a BBQ meenies? Oh Man teeny weenie is the
(07:36):
search key words at the bit box that was for Tater?
Speaker 4 (07:42):
Is it there?
Speaker 5 (07:43):
The big shoe dot com?
Speaker 4 (07:47):
Wain it begin uppers. Let's play upburst. It's the game
that anyone can win. John Boy Billy, give the prizes
from the big Prize be Let's go.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Contest the number one. This should really be a lot
of fun when you're playing.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
Out, have a hurry up and guess time you have
the best time.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
You have a big shots.
Speaker 8 (08:16):
Let's say, hey, Serra from Southernland, Virginia, we have shot.
Speaker 5 (08:30):
Hey.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Is that you Sierra Sierra Sierra? Yes, sir, Hey Dada,
I mean hey, welcome Sierra. All right, Mabe. That's how
I'll get you through these categories and the when you
the bull snot prospeg all right, yes, sir? Okay? Gee
(08:52):
sweet five seconds give us three characters from the Simpsons.
Ready go.
Speaker 9 (08:59):
Art for and Homer.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Good now, give us. Three assets ready to go.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Home, land and gold.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Okay, and for the wind. Three things you see at
a birthday party, Ready go.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
Birthday cake, candles and present.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
And there is Sierra. I love that man, my pronouncing
you're right? Is this Siro or Sierra?
Speaker 10 (09:30):
It's Sierra.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Sierra is right out along nice Sierra named after New Mexico.
All right, so Sierra, you hang on. Jackie will get
your address where you are residing. And I think you're
going to have one hundred and twenty dollars worth of
bullsnot cleaning products show up in your house. All right?
(09:52):
Thank you think about it? All right? Baby? Why the
money guy wear on top of your news? All right,
y'all ready to stay in your lane. This Monday morning,
Robert Earl ken to Big Show gain help right, good morning.
(10:44):
It's a big show on the radio for you Monday morning.
And how about I bow out of East Texas. Robert
url Kin's getting that Monday morning song that's.
Speaker 9 (10:53):
Done by Robert Earl Kean is being lying in the
Big Show stdio.
Speaker 11 (10:57):
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing. Come on, Jack
and get ready to say sometimes on my days are
filled with and ride.
Speaker 7 (11:11):
Yes, I've traveled and left so bad.
Speaker 11 (11:15):
Things ain't going my way because there's always someone swirming
in my life.
Speaker 7 (11:25):
To keep swerving in my life.
Speaker 11 (11:29):
And it's causing lots of thinginger.
Speaker 7 (11:33):
I'm a honking on my horror story.
Speaker 11 (11:37):
I'm shooting you the flight, keep switching on my bride lines.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
It's just too dem.
Speaker 7 (11:46):
To when you're swerving.
Speaker 11 (11:49):
All lives pie By, you're running someone.
Speaker 6 (11:53):
Off the ride.
Speaker 11 (11:57):
The day Joe Way, I thought I never.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Never could bove another.
Speaker 11 (12:06):
How else could I feed? But bowing you run into me,
I can't believe I could not see her.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
A'll tank up record the ones at the waiting.
Speaker 11 (12:26):
You keep swarming in my life, just causing lots of bab.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
I'm cussing out your name. I'm shooting you the fine.
Speaker 11 (12:41):
I keep switching on my briding lights. But you're just
too dimpty now when you're swerving all lights, Oh why
you're running someone off the road.
Speaker 5 (13:03):
Living a big show.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Good morning, it's a big show on the radio. Here
we go.
Speaker 12 (13:34):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode The
Art Collector's Wife. As our story opens, successful art dealer
Frank Feesley is joining an urgent zoom call with his attorney,
Sal Goodman.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Hello, Frank, Sorry for the short notice, Frank, Frank, I
think you have your I commuted, Frank.
Speaker 7 (14:06):
Dang it?
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Can you hear me now? Yes?
Speaker 3 (14:10):
But now I think you turned on the cat filter thing.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Gobbled dang it. I don't know how to work this stuff. Really, Look,
can we just get on with it? You know I'm
here and I'm not a cat.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Calm down, Frank, now just turn off the camera, fie happy.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Yes, all right, Saal? What is so important you had
to call me off the golf course and talk about
It's your wife, Frank, My wife, Oh my gosh, is
she Okay?
Speaker 3 (14:38):
She's fine, Frank. But thing is I just got out
of a meeting with her, and there's good news and
there's bad news.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Well, all right, looks Al, this has already been a
terrible day and it's not even noon yet. Just get
to the point. Tell me what's going on.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Okay, okay, okay, Frank, your wife inform me that she
invested five thousand dollars in three pictures that she thinks
are worth fifty teen to twenty million dollars. And Frank,
I really think she's right.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Holy moly, that's not good news. That's fantastic news. I've
been telling her for years. She needed to get all
for Bud, turn off the view, get out there, do
something productive, Frank. Much like all that yelling at hers
finally played off. Man. This is the best day of
my entire life. Frank. Yes, how what is it? The
(15:25):
bad news? All right? Laying only, laying only, nothing can
bring me down.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
The pictures, Frank, Uh huh, they're are you and your
secretary some of them.
Speaker 12 (15:41):
We hope you've enjoyed. John Boy and Billy playhouse, Frank.
Tune in again next time when we'll hear the crusty
old bailiff in divorce court.
Speaker 9 (15:51):
Say, hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. Good morning,
rolling to the Big Show on the radio. Hello, this
is Robert Goulay, and you're listening to the pride of
the Red States, John Boy and Billy right here on
(16:13):
the Big Show. Some enchanted morning you may hear the
Big Show. Where's my big bag? Who can't be topical?
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Good morning, it's a big show on the radio. April
the twenty ninth thirty days had September, April, June, in November.
All right, so tomorrow will be the last day of
this month. Okay, don't waste it. Oh we're not. I'm
talking about will and Nelson's birthday. It was still right
(17:20):
here a little bit ninety one for Willie. Jerry Seinfeld.
How you think he is? Just right quick, right on
the top of your head, Terry so felt.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
Oh, Jerry's was sixty.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Three, seventy years old.
Speaker 6 (17:34):
Wow, I would have never got no way, all right?
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Did and in that wild like his marriage like would
have made an episode. It was something like he went
to h taking the trip abroad and his wife now
was on her honeymoon, and when they came back and
then she like maybe she didn't marry the guy, but
I don't know. It's something weird. We'll have to look
(17:59):
that up for a special edition of TAT Entertainment News.
Speaker 12 (18:02):
If we only had somebody covering, I keep it from
talking down to you like that quick enough.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
I see your fingers starting Google. We'll do that later.
Everybody relaxed. Monday Morning, got a whole week, all right,
makes Joe rolls on Good Morning, got the big show
on the radio. Man. We are having fun with accents
this Monday Morning. Course. Tatter's right there at the forefront
of our accentic vows so much fun. Yeah, her whole
(18:35):
repertoire of accents. We're starting off with her academy, something
she's very proud of. We'll have a song later this morning.
And then Tim Wilson, The Definitive Truth of Southern Accents. Nice,
one of the best ever, the late great Tim okay Man.
So I go, so let me see. We're worried we're
(18:58):
gonna play Oh yeah, yeah, start with the academy. I's
gonna tell you the prize pack. We're gonna play on
John Boydjeboren. Just a second. It is one hundred twenty
dollars worth of bull Snot cleaning products made in the USA.
Truck drivers keep America moving in bullsnot make sure they
look good doing it. Look for Bullston and Trug stops
across America and download the Bullsnot app. Craig on the
banner at the Big Show dot Com. All right, now,
(19:20):
we're ready, Hello friends.
Speaker 10 (19:23):
Are you a voice actor whose career installed a radio
personality with no personality, looking for a gimmick or a
hook that will.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Put you over the top.
Speaker 10 (19:31):
It all starts with versatility, and nothing makes you more
versatile than a real believable accent. But where can you
go to hole net skill? Who can you trust to
teach you to be an honest to goodness?
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Stop?
Speaker 10 (19:43):
It's the Tatam Moran Academy of Accent and Dialect. You'll
learn how to speak like a native of countries like Spain.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Oh yeah, I've got good seats for the Boofight Norway.
Speaker 4 (19:53):
Yeah, it's time to meet piac Russia.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
That is a fly in my Yadga Scotland.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Houtman, Houtman, Mikit fire too easy. We'll listen to some
of these.
Speaker 13 (20:02):
Try Portuguese, My slat has got the Magraine a game?
Speaker 1 (20:06):
How about Dutch? Oh mama, the win. Let's hear French?
Ula la? Now try Southern France. Ooh la la, y'all.
Speaker 10 (20:15):
You just went around the world and your ears. Is
your mind blown yet? But wait, there's more. Don't forget
about regional dialects. Boston, don't pack the cat in the
yad Chicago, Hey, you're putted?
Speaker 3 (20:28):
Really is on the.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Rock and shide of my wiener Minnesota.
Speaker 7 (20:31):
The horse is froze doute.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
I know Texas.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Oh la la, y'all.
Speaker 10 (20:36):
She makes it look and sound so easy. So what
are you waiting for. Classes are filling up, and if
you enroll now you'll get a bonus to day crash
course in impersonations Learn how to do Morgan Freeman.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
I'm afraid my appendix as.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Riture al Pacino.
Speaker 11 (20:52):
I got a fever for the flavoringa Meryl Street.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Don't argue with me, shave my back, even the legendary
Sam Elliott. Oo La la, y'all, the.
Speaker 10 (21:04):
Tina Moran, a county of accents and dialect. New classes
starting soon. Learn from the best, forget all the rest.
Soon you'll be laughing all the way to the bank.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
All right? Did be around about our Tim Wilson Gold
Lay it down? Hey? Is John Boy Jeopardy? This organization's
first meetings were secretly held above a New York pizza rea.
The restaurant owner was baffled by the weekly lines with
no pizza sales. When free slices still didn't attract them,
he was finally let in on the secret.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
Oh what is gluten sensitivity?
Speaker 7 (21:45):
Anonymous?
Speaker 1 (21:50):
By the way, look up what a gluten is? Formulation? Well,
what y'all got?
Speaker 14 (21:54):
One?
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Eight hundred? Big show? You told free line across America?
We played John Boy Jeopardy. Next Good Monday morning, there's
(22:25):
a Big Show on the radio. Today's feature track for
the Big Show Big Box brought to you by showing
him on the speed Away and cod Coda six Sunday,
May twenty six, I Turner says, it's a vincy teeny
weenie can of barbecue whenies it's a classic George for
keywords teeny weenie. Sure you're at the Big Box when
(22:47):
you do that, that'd be big show up. No, we're
not involved my hell right now, let's fly.
Speaker 6 (22:58):
Yes live across America.
Speaker 12 (23:00):
It's John Boy jeopany Wow, and now a man who
says his three favorite themes are eating his family and
not using commas.
Speaker 5 (23:10):
Now waits.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Y He's John Boy. Hang Hey, Gerald out Elizella Georgia.
Good morning Gerald.
Speaker 4 (23:25):
Or John Boy.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
How you doing, Hey buddy, We're doing all right. Welcome
in here amongst us, Oh Jerald first shot at John
Boy Jeopardy's all yours representing Lizella. This organization's first meetings
secretly held above a New York pizza rea. The restaurant
owner was baffled by the weekly lines with no pizza
sales now when free slices still didn't attract them. He
(23:48):
was finally let in on the secret. What is that secret?
Gerald White? Watchers? It was way Watchers. Let's say you
now didn't wait Watchers. One of my favorite church bullets
(24:09):
and bloopers. The weight Watchers meeting will be held at
seven pm, usually large double doors around back again, Hill works, Hey,
gonna work, Charild, you got your bulls not priced back?
Head down to Lizella. All right, I think sir appreciate it.
All right, buddy, all right, we got an action pack
(24:37):
twenty minutes news right now. Time cap on the other side,
mayor dismal seepage, some big happening down.
Speaker 4 (24:54):
Can we.
Speaker 10 (25:13):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 13 (25:30):
Thank you, John Boy, you're well. Good morning everybody. It's
mister Rubar.
Speaker 7 (25:35):
Here for some Hume.
Speaker 13 (25:37):
Good morning, mister, Good morning, Randy saying bye for Hume.
Does your wife know you're wearing her shoes?
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Actually? Yes? What about the blouse?
Speaker 6 (25:49):
I laid it out last night. This is something my mother,
my mother says, you know, just like you like it?
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Quick?
Speaker 6 (26:01):
Thanks mom?
Speaker 7 (26:03):
Now I'll make you laugh. Why do termites?
Speaker 1 (26:06):
I'll take that bed? I mean.
Speaker 7 (26:08):
What do termites say it work? What do they have
for breakfast?
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Oak meal?
Speaker 13 (26:20):
What kind of school does a carpenter go to? What
boarding school?
Speaker 1 (26:27):
What are you buying bazooka, bubblegum or something?
Speaker 13 (26:33):
No, but you know that pazukah Joe's turtleneck that goes
up over his nose.
Speaker 7 (26:37):
Yeah, that might be a good look for you.
Speaker 13 (26:40):
That a man came around in hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs. The
doctor saide, I know, I've cut your arms off. What
do you call a cow that lives in an igloo?
Speaker 7 (26:58):
An eskie mood?
Speaker 13 (27:02):
Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid,
the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let
the other one off after the flash on his camera mountfunction.
What did Satan get back from the drug store? What
prints of darkness? Why didn't the squirrel cross the telephone wire?
(27:28):
Why because the line was busy?
Speaker 7 (27:35):
Are there blood banks in England?
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Answer? You don't know.
Speaker 7 (27:43):
Do you know?
Speaker 1 (27:44):
We don't know.
Speaker 7 (27:45):
I don't either, But there's a Liverpool.
Speaker 13 (27:51):
And what was on the license plate of the pickup
truck of.
Speaker 7 (27:55):
The sheep farmer?
Speaker 1 (27:56):
What you haul.
Speaker 7 (27:59):
Get it, that's a baby sheep.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
You've been buying Jegermeister again.
Speaker 13 (28:05):
No, but that's not a bad idea. Now, this is
the story of zeba Dayah, a farmer who was in
the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young laying
hens called pullets, and eight or ten roosters pullets.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
It's got a funny roosters sounded kind of weird too.
Speaker 13 (28:24):
Yeah, the roosters, they haven't got me concentrating. It was
their job to fertilize the eggs. See when a rooster
likes a hen.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Very very much.
Speaker 14 (28:36):
Well.
Speaker 13 (28:36):
Zeb kept careful records in Any rooster that didn't perform
came out of the starting lineup and went right into
the soup pot. All this record keeping took an awful
lot of Zeb's time. So Zeb got a set of
tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Now, each
bell had a different tone, so that Zeb could tell
from a distance which rooster was performing. Hit set on
(28:59):
the poor and fill out efficiency report.
Speaker 7 (29:01):
Simply by listening to the bell.
Speaker 4 (29:07):
Now, where are they working in the hotel lobby?
Speaker 7 (29:10):
You try to find a bell at six o'clock.
Speaker 13 (29:12):
Anyway, Zeb's favorite rooster was old Brewster, and a fine
one he was too, But on this particular morning, Zeb
noticed that Brewster's bell had not rung at all, so
he went to investigate. Well, the other roosters were chasing pullets.
Bells are ringing where the pullets would hear the roosters
(29:37):
coming and would run.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
For cover, and who can blame them?
Speaker 13 (29:40):
But to Zeb's amazement, Brewster had his bell in his beak,
so it couldn't ring.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
In his what beak?
Speaker 7 (29:46):
Oh, his little rooster lips?
Speaker 1 (29:49):
How does he go back if his mouth is full?
Speaker 7 (29:51):
Shut up ring?
Speaker 13 (29:53):
He'd sneak up on a pullet, get busy and walk
on to the next one.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Huh.
Speaker 13 (29:58):
Zeb was so proud of Rooster the Rooster that he
entered him in the County Fair, and Brewster was an
overnight sensation. The judges awarded him the Nobel Peace Prize
and the Pullet Surprise.
Speaker 15 (30:12):
Pullet Surprise, Yeah, get out, I'm getting I'm mister Rubarb,
saying I'm mister rubarb.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Hey you wanna bar my blouse?
Speaker 5 (30:24):
You?
Speaker 1 (30:28):
John Boy and Billy Good Morning Radio, dumb right good
(31:04):
Monday Morning Big Show is on a Radio.
Speaker 14 (31:07):
Good morning, John Boy, Billy and everyone out there at
Big Show listening land.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
Right, So, what's the latest happenings in dismal sleep in
South Carolina.
Speaker 14 (31:18):
I'm glad you asked, John Boy. As you know by
the pallen on your truck, the marathon sneezing fits, and
the dismal Seepage Technical College failing to get into the
NCAA tournament.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Spring is upon us.
Speaker 14 (31:34):
Got to help take everyone's mind off of that. Every
year at this time we throw our annual Dismal Seepage
spring Flings.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Spring fling. That sounds festive, Oh it is.
Speaker 14 (31:46):
This is dismal Seepage is exclusive adults only celebration.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
We adults only.
Speaker 14 (31:53):
Yes, it's a literal spring fling, a swinger's weekend where
anything goes. Baby, It's like that movie The Purge, but
no one gets killed. They just get lucky.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Well, hold on, when you tell folks spring fleeing, they're
gonna think about a flower show and a big barbecue
or something.
Speaker 14 (32:15):
Well, there was a weenie roast last year, but that
was unintentional. Word to the wise, never go near an
open flame when you're naked.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
Ah.
Speaker 14 (32:26):
Things went from Kinki to combustible very quickly gave new
meaning to the word hot dog. Ah, any of these
flaming body part of jokes.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
Doing anything for you?
Speaker 14 (32:37):
Thank goodness. The guy in the bulldog costume was a
volunteer firefighter.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
A bulldog costume.
Speaker 14 (32:43):
Like I said, anything goes ironically. We had to ask
him to leave. He wouldn't stop dragging his butt on
the carpet.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
You gotta have some sort of standards.
Speaker 14 (32:54):
Yeah, sub people, sheesh. So if any one of your
listeners is interested in quote unquote sampling the local wares,
just call the hotel and make a room reservation.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
Watch the hotel the halfway in figures. So how does
all this happen? I mean, what are the rules?
Speaker 14 (33:16):
All right? Well, guys up to age thirty, they've all
put their underwear in a big box. Ladies step up
and pull out a pair of drawers, and whoever the
odor is, that's their partner.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
So if you decide to go commando, you're out of
luck by go uhh. Well what about folks over thirty, Well.
Speaker 14 (33:33):
It's different for all ages. Say thirty to fifty you
draw from a box of sunglasses, and fifty to sixty
five is a medication. Bottle over sixty five dentures. Grosso
tell me, well, the good news is they always fall
asleep before they can really do anything. Most of them
are hard of hearing, so they just sleep through all
(33:55):
the noise from the adjoining room.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
That makes sense.
Speaker 14 (33:58):
And when the sun comes up in the morning, John Boy,
everyone convenes in the dining room for the big morning
after breakfast buffet courtesy of the restaurant Shay what. It's
a heaping bounty of grit's gravy and uncomfortable silences, followed
(34:18):
immediately by free health care services from Penicil and Patty's.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
Portable Practice free healthcare services.
Speaker 14 (34:26):
Yeah, there's usually quite a few who feel the burn.
If you follow me, I got it. Well, listen. I'd
love to stay at talk, he tried to say convincingly,
But I've got to run. There's a lot to do
before the big Dismal Seepage Spring Fling.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Festival, lots of paperwork.
Speaker 14 (34:43):
No, I've got to go for my all over spray TND.
I'm gonna get jiggy with it. So if you're feeling
Amarus and aren't too glamorous, come on down to Dismal
Seepage South Carolina and the big Spring Fling Festival. And
in case you the new mister or missus right, complimentary
divorce attorneys will be on site. Will you there?
Speaker 16 (35:10):
Good morning, there's a big should radio Helly you Lindsay
premise here and when I'm on this side of the pond,
I get my daily dose of culture and edification every
morning from these two delightful lands, John Boy and Billy
right here on the big show.
Speaker 17 (35:25):
You know, I hate to break it to you boys,
but where I come from, you're all Yankees, you will.
I thought it was funny.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Good morning, it's a big showing the radio for you. Monday,
April twenty ninth. You having a birthday today, Well he's
sharing one with the legend, the late great Dale Earnhart,
seven time Nice Guard Champion Dale Earnhart. I think Earn
Heart would be we were talking about Sion Bell Early's
that he got sixty three. He's seventy years old today.
(36:30):
Earnhart would be. It is late sixty seventy three. Earnhart
seventy three years old today. How about that man? So
of course, oh know he died then. Well for our
younger listeners, I mean it's been a while now he
died in the final lap. The record of the Daytona
five hundred February eighteenth oh one, nearly two hundred thousand
(36:54):
fans of the event, millions Moral TV alright, witnesses to
the accident, and they remember by saying, it really didn't
think it was that bad at first of the way.
Speaker 6 (37:06):
Oh no, I remember watching it and it was it
did not look bad.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
I mean, all the crashes that he had survived, all
like that. Of course, in that wreck, man, we can think.
We talk about earn Hart for the safety features that
NASCAR has now, the safer walls that would have probably
saved earn Hardt's life, the Hauns device with the neck area.
Of course, it's so her trauma. The only driver, now,
I don't know y'all knew this. He was the only
(37:30):
driver in history to win NASCAR's Rookie of the Year
in seventy nine and then the series championship in eighty
in successive seasons. Wow, like that it was he was
forty nine years old.
Speaker 6 (37:44):
Dang, it's been It doesn't seem like that long, does it.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
I know? Really done, man, I remember that show. That
was one of the hardest ones that we had to
do that that money want to show. But everything kind
of came together. Remember playing Don Hagg of course was
earn Hart's personal manager. Travis Tripp was calls about and
just everybody in from the racing family and people knew them,
just sharing Earnhart stories, you know, that was that was wild.
(38:09):
Never forget that. But Dale Earnhardt, we've been seventy three
years old. How about that? All y'all, Let's get back
to the Tim Wilson's accents. All right, that'll be fun.
All right, that's up next
Good morning, the big shows on the radio.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Hang on, all right, listen to you, morg it's time
to button your yap. Say, I'm trying to listen to
these two clowns, John Boyn Belly on the Big Show. Yeah,
the Big Show. It's big, say bigger than big. It's enormous. Hey,
he's adorable.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Dog a doon loo up and at him. I'm happy
to be here on Monday morning for some reason, now,
y'all every Monday. Happy to be here, y'all. Just make
(01:10):
me smile, make me happy. No, not a lot of
people getting up this morning, some of you you consider
yourself love. You're getting up, man, going to work on
me around people.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
I really like you're not gonna write me a song,
are you?
Speaker 1 (01:26):
I want you to do that. I'm gonna be the
male Taylor Swift all right, okay you could? You just
want to guide me through it. I can't wait to
see the outfits. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know
about the I like the the dance girl, lion tamer deal.
(01:48):
Yeah you know, yeah I can hook you up for that,
not for me.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Out that with the shoulder to the oah, the shoulder
plate and things and yeah, yeah, I know what you.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Talk about, right, and anytime, you know, like the little uh,
let me say Britney had the Catholic girl outfit, right, yeah, schoolgirl, yeah,
the schoolgirl. Yeah, but uh you know the little the
checkered green skirts said did you go to Catholic school? Tape?
Like one of those uniform deals?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
I did not?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Oh god, yeah, sorry? Is it better if I told
you I did? They'd already giving up on her by then.
My school, I hate they were like now I know
about Marty and Daddy.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
I know.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
I love hearing tales about how he raised You did
a great job, by the way too, thank you. Yes,
all right, yeah they did. They went through school all
the way through.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Uh yeah, graduated.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
So I just wanted to but well, I don't even
be thinking about the schoolgirl outfits. First thing in the morning,
I just thripp what's songs you pictured me? Let's say
we got three national days we can tell you about.
Dis April the twenty ninth National Zipper Day. Uh it
(02:59):
was first and eighteen fifty one. Elias Howe came up
with a zipper national piece. Rose Day is the light
yellow to large cream colored flowers of the piece. Rose
slightly flushed, crimson, pink petal edges flowers. Wow, sounds this
(03:20):
national shrimp scampy Day. All right? Have you ever tried
a shrimp scampy day? There, Randy, old boy, are we
in trouble?
Speaker 5 (03:31):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (03:31):
Shrimp scampy is really easy. Yeah, we we have it often.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
The butter, garlic, lemon juice, white wine. You gotta get
the fresh shrimp. That's a whole deal with it right there.
Speaker 6 (03:40):
Yeah, Unfortunately I don't have any hook maybe.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Yeah, well, if I can get home early one weekend,
I'll foll. Okay, we got three dates saved up. That'll
be our categories for the outbursts. We'll get the first
prize back out and get a week's worth of winter
and beginning Beggshow's on the radio. Good morning on the
Big Shows on the radio. Get the first prize back out,
old right, one hundred and twenty dollars. Where the Bulls
(04:05):
Not cleaning products made in the USA. Truck drivers keep
America moving, and bulls not make sure they look good
doing it. Look for Bullsnout at truck stops across America.
You can download the Bull's Not app. You go to
Big show dot com, click on the bull snot batterer
from more info. Hang on when you some here, give
you three days in history. Where we're going our categories
(04:26):
start off with The Simpsons. Twenty eighteen Animate a series
of Simpsons surpasses the six hundred and thirty five episode
count of Gunsmoke, highest number of episodes of any series
on TV. That is Outrazy Simpsons, Big Gun Smoke. Oh yeah,
(04:47):
Move up to twenty twenty two of London court sentence
retired tennis star Boris Becker to two and a half
years in prison for hiding assets during bankruptcy proceedings. Man,
that was just a couple of years ago. I don't
remember hearing about it that brs Becker didn't pay his taxes.
(05:08):
Tough for where.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
London, baby, I said thing he didn't want to claim
all this.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
I got you. That's still kind of cheating, Oh bankruptsy.
That was during bank but he has already broken save
some assts. I got you.
Speaker 6 (05:23):
And by the way, there's no such thing as kind
of cheating on your.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Taxes, no I rs. Let's move up a year. April
twenty ninth, twenty twenty three. Country singer Willie Nelson, host
of the first of to night ninetieth birthday concerts for
himself at the Hollywood Bowl in LA. But man, I
(05:47):
was wondering about that. Yeah, so Willie, we have him.
I had him marked to enjoy his birthday and I haven't, Tater,
I don't know. You can check this. Willie Nelson is
eighty one today, but it says ninety one. Yeah your host,
oh man, that type. Oh yeah, that's all right, okay,
good you would have caught that. Get out of the way.
Speaker 7 (06:11):
That's okay.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
It's probably my fault. I mean, Willie, ninety one ain't
no way to live ninety one. It must be eighty one. Yeah,
I know that's what I'm I'm probably realizing it. Okay, okay,
all right, at least I'm awake now.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
Yeah, Willie Nelson could party for two nights.
Speaker 7 (06:31):
At US through the morning.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Told you should have had that nap, isn't it? Alright?
Speaker 4 (06:37):
Y'all?
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Well, there's the three categories. Okay, we're ready to go.
One ain't big show? You're toe free line, Come on
and play out birds next. Good morning, it's a big
(07:10):
show on the radio running through your Monday. Check out
today's featured track from the Big Show bit Box brock
You by Seana Motor Speedway and a co coda six
hundred and Sunday, May twenty six, Ike Turner sings all
one of our own time favorites. It'sy bitsy teeny weenie
can a BBQ meenies? Oh Man teeny weenie is the
(07:36):
search key words at the bit box that was for Tater?
Speaker 4 (07:42):
Is it there?
Speaker 5 (07:43):
The big shoe dot com?
Speaker 4 (07:47):
Wain it begin uppers. Let's play upburst. It's the game
that anyone can win. John Boy Billy, give the prizes
from the big Prize be Let's go.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Contest the number one. This should really be a lot
of fun when you're playing.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
Out, have a hurry up and guess time you have
the best time.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
You have a big shots.
Speaker 8 (08:16):
Let's say, hey, Serra from Southernland, Virginia, we have shot.
Speaker 5 (08:30):
Hey.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Is that you Sierra Sierra Sierra? Yes, sir, Hey Dada,
I mean hey, welcome Sierra. All right, Mabe. That's how
I'll get you through these categories and the when you
the bull snot prospeg all right, yes, sir? Okay? Gee
(08:52):
sweet five seconds give us three characters from the Simpsons.
Ready go.
Speaker 9 (08:59):
Art for and Homer.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Good now, give us. Three assets ready to go.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Home, land and gold.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Okay, and for the wind. Three things you see at
a birthday party, Ready go.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
Birthday cake, candles and present.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
And there is Sierra. I love that man, my pronouncing
you're right? Is this Siro or Sierra?
Speaker 10 (09:30):
It's Sierra.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Sierra is right out along nice Sierra named after New Mexico.
All right, so Sierra, you hang on. Jackie will get
your address where you are residing. And I think you're
going to have one hundred and twenty dollars worth of
bullsnot cleaning products show up in your house. All right?
(09:52):
Thank you think about it? All right? Baby? Why the
money guy wear on top of your news? All right,
y'all ready to stay in your lane. This Monday morning,
Robert Earl ken to Big Show gain help right, good morning.
(10:44):
It's a big show on the radio for you Monday morning.
And how about I bow out of East Texas. Robert
url Kin's getting that Monday morning song that's.
Speaker 9 (10:53):
Done by Robert Earl Kean is being lying in the
Big Show stdio.
Speaker 11 (10:57):
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing. Come on, Jack
and get ready to say sometimes on my days are
filled with and ride.
Speaker 7 (11:11):
Yes, I've traveled and left so bad.
Speaker 11 (11:15):
Things ain't going my way because there's always someone swirming
in my life.
Speaker 7 (11:25):
To keep swerving in my life.
Speaker 11 (11:29):
And it's causing lots of thinginger.
Speaker 7 (11:33):
I'm a honking on my horror story.
Speaker 11 (11:37):
I'm shooting you the flight, keep switching on my bride lines.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
It's just too dem.
Speaker 7 (11:46):
To when you're swerving.
Speaker 11 (11:49):
All lives pie By, you're running someone.
Speaker 6 (11:53):
Off the ride.
Speaker 11 (11:57):
The day Joe Way, I thought I never.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Never could bove another.
Speaker 11 (12:06):
How else could I feed? But bowing you run into me,
I can't believe I could not see her.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
A'll tank up record the ones at the waiting.
Speaker 11 (12:26):
You keep swarming in my life, just causing lots of bab.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
I'm cussing out your name. I'm shooting you the fine.
Speaker 11 (12:41):
I keep switching on my briding lights. But you're just
too dimpty now when you're swerving all lights, Oh why
you're running someone off the road.
Speaker 5 (13:03):
Living a big show.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Good morning, it's a big show on the radio. Here
we go.
Speaker 12 (13:34):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode The
Art Collector's Wife. As our story opens, successful art dealer
Frank Feesley is joining an urgent zoom call with his attorney,
Sal Goodman.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Hello, Frank, Sorry for the short notice, Frank, Frank, I
think you have your I commuted, Frank.
Speaker 7 (14:06):
Dang it?
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Can you hear me now? Yes?
Speaker 3 (14:10):
But now I think you turned on the cat filter thing.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Gobbled dang it. I don't know how to work this stuff. Really, Look,
can we just get on with it? You know I'm
here and I'm not a cat.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Calm down, Frank, now just turn off the camera, fie happy.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Yes, all right, Saal? What is so important you had
to call me off the golf course and talk about
It's your wife, Frank, My wife, Oh my gosh, is
she Okay?
Speaker 3 (14:38):
She's fine, Frank. But thing is I just got out
of a meeting with her, and there's good news and
there's bad news.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Well, all right, looks Al, this has already been a
terrible day and it's not even noon yet. Just get
to the point. Tell me what's going on.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Okay, okay, okay, Frank, your wife inform me that she
invested five thousand dollars in three pictures that she thinks
are worth fifty teen to twenty million dollars. And Frank,
I really think she's right.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Holy moly, that's not good news. That's fantastic news. I've
been telling her for years. She needed to get all
for Bud, turn off the view, get out there, do
something productive, Frank. Much like all that yelling at hers
finally played off. Man. This is the best day of
my entire life. Frank. Yes, how what is it? The
(15:25):
bad news? All right? Laying only, laying only, nothing can
bring me down.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
The pictures, Frank, Uh huh, they're are you and your
secretary some of them.
Speaker 12 (15:41):
We hope you've enjoyed. John Boy and Billy playhouse, Frank.
Tune in again next time when we'll hear the crusty
old bailiff in divorce court.
Speaker 9 (15:51):
Say, hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. Good morning,
rolling to the Big Show on the radio. Hello, this
is Robert Goulay, and you're listening to the pride of
the Red States, John Boy and Billy right here on
(16:13):
the Big Show. Some enchanted morning you may hear the
Big Show. Where's my big bag? Who can't be topical?
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Good morning, it's a big show on the radio. April
the twenty ninth thirty days had September, April, June, in November.
All right, so tomorrow will be the last day of
this month. Okay, don't waste it. Oh we're not. I'm
talking about will and Nelson's birthday. It was still right
(17:20):
here a little bit ninety one for Willie. Jerry Seinfeld.
How you think he is? Just right quick, right on
the top of your head, Terry so felt.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
Oh, Jerry's was sixty.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Three, seventy years old.
Speaker 6 (17:34):
Wow, I would have never got no way, all right?
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Did and in that wild like his marriage like would
have made an episode. It was something like he went
to h taking the trip abroad and his wife now
was on her honeymoon, and when they came back and
then she like maybe she didn't marry the guy, but
I don't know. It's something weird. We'll have to look
(17:59):
that up for a special edition of TAT Entertainment News.
Speaker 12 (18:02):
If we only had somebody covering, I keep it from
talking down to you like that quick enough.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
I see your fingers starting Google. We'll do that later.
Everybody relaxed. Monday Morning, got a whole week, all right,
makes Joe rolls on Good Morning, got the big show
on the radio. Man. We are having fun with accents
this Monday Morning. Course. Tatter's right there at the forefront
of our accentic vows so much fun. Yeah, her whole
(18:35):
repertoire of accents. We're starting off with her academy, something
she's very proud of. We'll have a song later this morning.
And then Tim Wilson, The Definitive Truth of Southern Accents. Nice,
one of the best ever, the late great Tim okay Man.
So I go, so let me see. We're worried we're
(18:58):
gonna play Oh yeah, yeah, start with the academy. I's
gonna tell you the prize pack. We're gonna play on
John Boydjeboren. Just a second. It is one hundred twenty
dollars worth of bull Snot cleaning products made in the USA.
Truck drivers keep America moving in bullsnot make sure they
look good doing it. Look for Bullston and Trug stops
across America and download the Bullsnot app. Craig on the
banner at the Big Show dot Com. All right, now,
(19:20):
we're ready, Hello friends.
Speaker 10 (19:23):
Are you a voice actor whose career installed a radio
personality with no personality, looking for a gimmick or a
hook that will.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Put you over the top.
Speaker 10 (19:31):
It all starts with versatility, and nothing makes you more
versatile than a real believable accent. But where can you
go to hole net skill? Who can you trust to
teach you to be an honest to goodness?
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Stop?
Speaker 10 (19:43):
It's the Tatam Moran Academy of Accent and Dialect. You'll
learn how to speak like a native of countries like Spain.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Oh yeah, I've got good seats for the Boofight Norway.
Speaker 4 (19:53):
Yeah, it's time to meet piac Russia.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
That is a fly in my Yadga Scotland.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Houtman, Houtman, Mikit fire too easy. We'll listen to some
of these.
Speaker 13 (20:02):
Try Portuguese, My slat has got the Magraine a game?
Speaker 1 (20:06):
How about Dutch? Oh mama, the win. Let's hear French?
Ula la? Now try Southern France. Ooh la la, y'all.
Speaker 10 (20:15):
You just went around the world and your ears. Is
your mind blown yet? But wait, there's more. Don't forget
about regional dialects. Boston, don't pack the cat in the
yad Chicago, Hey, you're putted?
Speaker 3 (20:28):
Really is on the.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Rock and shide of my wiener Minnesota.
Speaker 7 (20:31):
The horse is froze doute.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
I know Texas.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Oh la la, y'all.
Speaker 10 (20:36):
She makes it look and sound so easy. So what
are you waiting for. Classes are filling up, and if
you enroll now you'll get a bonus to day crash
course in impersonations Learn how to do Morgan Freeman.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
I'm afraid my appendix as.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Riture al Pacino.
Speaker 11 (20:52):
I got a fever for the flavoringa Meryl Street.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Don't argue with me, shave my back, even the legendary
Sam Elliott. Oo La la, y'all, the.
Speaker 10 (21:04):
Tina Moran, a county of accents and dialect. New classes
starting soon. Learn from the best, forget all the rest.
Soon you'll be laughing all the way to the bank.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
All right? Did be around about our Tim Wilson Gold
Lay it down? Hey? Is John Boy Jeopardy? This organization's
first meetings were secretly held above a New York pizza rea.
The restaurant owner was baffled by the weekly lines with
no pizza sales. When free slices still didn't attract them,
he was finally let in on the secret.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
Oh what is gluten sensitivity?
Speaker 7 (21:45):
Anonymous?
Speaker 1 (21:50):
By the way, look up what a gluten is? Formulation? Well,
what y'all got?
Speaker 14 (21:54):
One?
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Eight hundred? Big show? You told free line across America?
We played John Boy Jeopardy. Next Good Monday morning, there's
(22:25):
a Big Show on the radio. Today's feature track for
the Big Show Big Box brought to you by showing
him on the speed Away and cod Coda six Sunday,
May twenty six, I Turner says, it's a vincy teeny
weenie can of barbecue whenies it's a classic George for
keywords teeny weenie. Sure you're at the Big Box when
(22:47):
you do that, that'd be big show up. No, we're
not involved my hell right now, let's fly.
Speaker 6 (22:58):
Yes live across America.
Speaker 12 (23:00):
It's John Boy jeopany Wow, and now a man who
says his three favorite themes are eating his family and
not using commas.
Speaker 5 (23:10):
Now waits.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Y He's John Boy. Hang Hey, Gerald out Elizella Georgia.
Good morning Gerald.
Speaker 4 (23:25):
Or John Boy.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
How you doing, Hey buddy, We're doing all right. Welcome
in here amongst us, Oh Jerald first shot at John
Boy Jeopardy's all yours representing Lizella. This organization's first meetings
secretly held above a New York pizza rea. The restaurant
owner was baffled by the weekly lines with no pizza
sales now when free slices still didn't attract them. He
(23:48):
was finally let in on the secret. What is that secret?
Gerald White? Watchers? It was way Watchers. Let's say you
now didn't wait Watchers. One of my favorite church bullets
(24:09):
and bloopers. The weight Watchers meeting will be held at
seven pm, usually large double doors around back again, Hill works, Hey,
gonna work, Charild, you got your bulls not priced back?
Head down to Lizella. All right, I think sir appreciate it.
All right, buddy, all right, we got an action pack
(24:37):
twenty minutes news right now. Time cap on the other side,
mayor dismal seepage, some big happening down.
Speaker 4 (24:54):
Can we.
Speaker 10 (25:13):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 13 (25:30):
Thank you, John Boy, you're well. Good morning everybody. It's
mister Rubar.
Speaker 7 (25:35):
Here for some Hume.
Speaker 13 (25:37):
Good morning, mister, Good morning, Randy saying bye for Hume.
Does your wife know you're wearing her shoes?
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Actually? Yes? What about the blouse?
Speaker 6 (25:49):
I laid it out last night. This is something my mother,
my mother says, you know, just like you like it?
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Quick?
Speaker 6 (26:01):
Thanks mom?
Speaker 7 (26:03):
Now I'll make you laugh. Why do termites?
Speaker 1 (26:06):
I'll take that bed? I mean.
Speaker 7 (26:08):
What do termites say it work? What do they have
for breakfast?
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Oak meal?
Speaker 13 (26:20):
What kind of school does a carpenter go to? What
boarding school?
Speaker 1 (26:27):
What are you buying bazooka, bubblegum or something?
Speaker 13 (26:33):
No, but you know that pazukah Joe's turtleneck that goes
up over his nose.
Speaker 7 (26:37):
Yeah, that might be a good look for you.
Speaker 13 (26:40):
That a man came around in hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs. The
doctor saide, I know, I've cut your arms off. What
do you call a cow that lives in an igloo?
Speaker 7 (26:58):
An eskie mood?
Speaker 13 (27:02):
Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid,
the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let
the other one off after the flash on his camera mountfunction.
What did Satan get back from the drug store? What
prints of darkness? Why didn't the squirrel cross the telephone wire?
(27:28):
Why because the line was busy?
Speaker 7 (27:35):
Are there blood banks in England?
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Answer? You don't know.
Speaker 7 (27:43):
Do you know?
Speaker 1 (27:44):
We don't know.
Speaker 7 (27:45):
I don't either, But there's a Liverpool.
Speaker 13 (27:51):
And what was on the license plate of the pickup
truck of.
Speaker 7 (27:55):
The sheep farmer?
Speaker 1 (27:56):
What you haul.
Speaker 7 (27:59):
Get it, that's a baby sheep.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
You've been buying Jegermeister again.
Speaker 13 (28:05):
No, but that's not a bad idea. Now, this is
the story of zeba Dayah, a farmer who was in
the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young laying
hens called pullets, and eight or ten roosters pullets.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
It's got a funny roosters sounded kind of weird too.
Speaker 13 (28:24):
Yeah, the roosters, they haven't got me concentrating. It was
their job to fertilize the eggs. See when a rooster
likes a hen.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Very very much.
Speaker 14 (28:36):
Well.
Speaker 13 (28:36):
Zeb kept careful records in Any rooster that didn't perform
came out of the starting lineup and went right into
the soup pot. All this record keeping took an awful
lot of Zeb's time. So Zeb got a set of
tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Now, each
bell had a different tone, so that Zeb could tell
from a distance which rooster was performing. Hit set on
(28:59):
the poor and fill out efficiency report.
Speaker 7 (29:01):
Simply by listening to the bell.
Speaker 4 (29:07):
Now, where are they working in the hotel lobby?
Speaker 7 (29:10):
You try to find a bell at six o'clock.
Speaker 13 (29:12):
Anyway, Zeb's favorite rooster was old Brewster, and a fine
one he was too, But on this particular morning, Zeb
noticed that Brewster's bell had not rung at all, so
he went to investigate. Well, the other roosters were chasing pullets.
Bells are ringing where the pullets would hear the roosters
(29:37):
coming and would run.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
For cover, and who can blame them?
Speaker 13 (29:40):
But to Zeb's amazement, Brewster had his bell in his beak,
so it couldn't ring.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
In his what beak?
Speaker 7 (29:46):
Oh, his little rooster lips?
Speaker 1 (29:49):
How does he go back if his mouth is full?
Speaker 7 (29:51):
Shut up ring?
Speaker 13 (29:53):
He'd sneak up on a pullet, get busy and walk
on to the next one.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Huh.
Speaker 13 (29:58):
Zeb was so proud of Rooster the Rooster that he
entered him in the County Fair, and Brewster was an
overnight sensation. The judges awarded him the Nobel Peace Prize
and the Pullet Surprise.
Speaker 15 (30:12):
Pullet Surprise, Yeah, get out, I'm getting I'm mister Rubarb,
saying I'm mister rubarb.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Hey you wanna bar my blouse?
Speaker 5 (30:24):
You?
Speaker 1 (30:28):
John Boy and Billy Good Morning Radio, dumb right good
(31:04):
Monday Morning Big Show is on a Radio.
Speaker 14 (31:07):
Good morning, John Boy, Billy and everyone out there at
Big Show listening land.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
Right, So, what's the latest happenings in dismal sleep in
South Carolina.
Speaker 14 (31:18):
I'm glad you asked, John Boy. As you know by
the pallen on your truck, the marathon sneezing fits, and
the dismal Seepage Technical College failing to get into the
NCAA tournament.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Spring is upon us.
Speaker 14 (31:34):
Got to help take everyone's mind off of that. Every
year at this time we throw our annual Dismal Seepage
spring Flings.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Spring fling. That sounds festive, Oh it is.
Speaker 14 (31:46):
This is dismal Seepage is exclusive adults only celebration.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
We adults only.
Speaker 14 (31:53):
Yes, it's a literal spring fling, a swinger's weekend where
anything goes. Baby, It's like that movie The Purge, but
no one gets killed. They just get lucky.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Well, hold on, when you tell folks spring fleeing, they're
gonna think about a flower show and a big barbecue
or something.
Speaker 14 (32:15):
Well, there was a weenie roast last year, but that
was unintentional. Word to the wise, never go near an
open flame when you're naked.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
Ah.
Speaker 14 (32:26):
Things went from Kinki to combustible very quickly gave new
meaning to the word hot dog. Ah, any of these
flaming body part of jokes.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
Doing anything for you?
Speaker 14 (32:37):
Thank goodness. The guy in the bulldog costume was a
volunteer firefighter.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
A bulldog costume.
Speaker 14 (32:43):
Like I said, anything goes ironically. We had to ask
him to leave. He wouldn't stop dragging his butt on
the carpet.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
You gotta have some sort of standards.
Speaker 14 (32:54):
Yeah, sub people, sheesh. So if any one of your
listeners is interested in quote unquote sampling the local wares,
just call the hotel and make a room reservation.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
Watch the hotel the halfway in figures. So how does
all this happen? I mean, what are the rules?
Speaker 14 (33:16):
All right? Well, guys up to age thirty, they've all
put their underwear in a big box. Ladies step up
and pull out a pair of drawers, and whoever the
odor is, that's their partner.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
So if you decide to go commando, you're out of
luck by go uhh. Well what about folks over thirty, Well.
Speaker 14 (33:33):
It's different for all ages. Say thirty to fifty you
draw from a box of sunglasses, and fifty to sixty
five is a medication. Bottle over sixty five dentures. Grosso
tell me, well, the good news is they always fall
asleep before they can really do anything. Most of them
are hard of hearing, so they just sleep through all
(33:55):
the noise from the adjoining room.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
That makes sense.
Speaker 14 (33:58):
And when the sun comes up in the morning, John Boy,
everyone convenes in the dining room for the big morning
after breakfast buffet courtesy of the restaurant Shay what. It's
a heaping bounty of grit's gravy and uncomfortable silences, followed
(34:18):
immediately by free health care services from Penicil and Patty's.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
Portable Practice free healthcare services.
Speaker 14 (34:26):
Yeah, there's usually quite a few who feel the burn.
If you follow me, I got it. Well, listen. I'd
love to stay at talk, he tried to say convincingly,
But I've got to run. There's a lot to do
before the big Dismal Seepage Spring Fling.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Festival, lots of paperwork.
Speaker 14 (34:43):
No, I've got to go for my all over spray TND.
I'm gonna get jiggy with it. So if you're feeling
Amarus and aren't too glamorous, come on down to Dismal
Seepage South Carolina and the big Spring Fling Festival. And
in case you the new mister or missus right, complimentary
divorce attorneys will be on site. Will you there?
Speaker 16 (35:10):
Good morning, there's a big should radio Helly you Lindsay
premise here and when I'm on this side of the pond,
I get my daily dose of culture and edification every
morning from these two delightful lands, John Boy and Billy
right here on the big show.
Speaker 17 (35:25):
You know, I hate to break it to you boys,
but where I come from, you're all Yankees, you will.
I thought it was funny.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Good morning, it's a big showing the radio for you. Monday,
April twenty ninth. You having a birthday today, Well he's
sharing one with the legend, the late great Dale Earnhart,
seven time Nice Guard Champion Dale Earnhart. I think Earn
Heart would be we were talking about Sion Bell Early's
that he got sixty three. He's seventy years old today.
(36:30):
Earnhart would be. It is late sixty seventy three. Earnhart
seventy three years old today. How about that man? So
of course, oh know he died then. Well for our
younger listeners, I mean it's been a while now he
died in the final lap. The record of the Daytona
five hundred February eighteenth oh one, nearly two hundred thousand
(36:54):
fans of the event, millions Moral TV alright, witnesses to
the accident, and they remember by saying, it really didn't
think it was that bad at first of the way.
Speaker 6 (37:06):
Oh no, I remember watching it and it was it
did not look bad.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
I mean, all the crashes that he had survived, all
like that. Of course, in that wreck, man, we can think.
We talk about earn Hart for the safety features that
NASCAR has now, the safer walls that would have probably
saved earn Hardt's life, the Hauns device with the neck area.
Of course, it's so her trauma. The only driver, now,
I don't know y'all knew this. He was the only
(37:30):
driver in history to win NASCAR's Rookie of the Year
in seventy nine and then the series championship in eighty
in successive seasons. Wow, like that it was he was
forty nine years old.
Speaker 6 (37:44):
Dang, it's been It doesn't seem like that long, does it.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
I know? Really done, man, I remember that show. That
was one of the hardest ones that we had to
do that that money want to show. But everything kind
of came together. Remember playing Don Hagg of course was
earn Hart's personal manager. Travis Tripp was calls about and
just everybody in from the racing family and people knew them,
just sharing Earnhart stories, you know, that was that was wild.
(38:09):
Never forget that. But Dale Earnhardt, we've been seventy three
years old. How about that? All y'all, Let's get back
to the Tim Wilson's accents. All right, that'll be fun.
All right, that's up next
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