March 14, 2022 • 36 mins
The Laundronauts get busy trying to rescue JD. Perry goes into the machine next. He meets a friendly, living, breathing sock. He also meets JD’s alter-ego, Sludge, who is very angry at him. The Sockling saves Perry by punting him into the ominous forest. Perry discovers a city beneath the ground populated by living, breathing clocks and watches. They seem to have captured one of the Socklings. Perry marks the spot for future missions and continues to explore. Sludge finally appears and turns Perry into a giant, announcing that the time for revenge is nigh.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Laundronouts is a production of I Heart Radio. This
is what we remember and remember, this is what it
sounded like. What we couldn't hear, we made up. The
rest of it is ultrue. When last we left Perry
(00:27):
in an episent show, He's going to gigantic proportions, only
to be joined or unequally god Gantchuan Sludge rising from
the ground in all his duck destinly and mountainless glory. Hello, Perry,
you ready for what you have? What you've always wanted? Perry.
(00:56):
You're a mountain among men, well among sucks, maybe you
are Mount Perry. Okay, fine, I'm Mount Perry, much appreciated.
But revenge. Come on, it'll be the same when we
get back. Not necessarily. You saw the changes that Nick
(01:17):
and Mona. Yeah, wait, how do you know exactly what
I'm talking about? Perry? The real reason you're here? Your secret?
How could Sludge do that? That was his secret? Very
really good? Angry, but to be so easily unlocked. But
it's not faced for i'd tour of desk coming. He
(01:40):
had come to save it. Enraged you, Parry rose up
to his full line and shook his boulder of a
fist and sludges face. Yeah, I do know exactly what
you're talking about, sludge, But how the heck do you
know exactly what you're talking about? Sludges face curled into
(02:00):
an oily grid. I can hear you, Perry in my dreams.
I can't hear all love you. Perry felt a shudder
run from his toes, to his ears, to his nose.
I should have helped Jati, Of all people, I should
have helped you, because I know what it's like, really,
(02:26):
Charlie and its stuff joy to what Jim Locker Parry
filled with all the dirty, stinking towels from Pe. I
was locked in there for hours, banging on the door, screaming.
He was not pleasant, not pleasant at all. But I
survived Jat, and I got over it. You are in
something to another wild Perry. No, I came by choice,
(02:49):
sludge coop quiet, his dark presence waned the menu. But
it was a puts, a real site. We all were,
and I'm sorry, sorry, we all are sludge gazed down
at the buntside trees as that they were toys, that
they had lost their lure. When he spoke again, his
voice was small. I'm sure the voice of a ten
(03:11):
year old boy. Why did you hide your middle name?
What um it means autumn mountain? Why would you hide
something so beautiful? How do you why? I don't know.
I wanted to be more American normal. I don't know.
My pap told me his dad, my granddad, aki Akita
(03:33):
Akiyama person I was named after he sold everything he
owned to my our last name before he died Henigan.
To get it changed permanently in the city records, he
bribed some clerk. Why else would he do that unless
he was ashamed of being Japanese Sludge chuckled and plucked
a buntside tree from the ground, and he came twirling
it effortless. When he was trying to help you, silly rabbits,
(03:57):
He was trying to protect you from what was coming.
What's coming? He stopped turling war Well, I'm trying to
help you. J d you inhale the deep breath, and
his duck persons began to grow again. That's the deaference
(04:17):
when you are me very, he remembered, like a gathering
storm cloud as he expanded, swallowing the bunside tree in
his duckness. I don't need and he wants out anymore.
A giant hand shut out and clamped its massive fingers
around Perry's, lifting him like a weed being plucked from
(04:39):
my garden. I am flooded, I am the creator, and
I've sun shot, and you will do what I tell you.
Periake yama and again a k A. The rabbits or
you were die. Stop seeing my middle dger's gripped tight
(05:01):
round and all the air left Perry's body. Darkness rushed in.
Perry fought to think, to say conscious, to find our
way back to Jonica, to his friends, to carrot was
suddenly in his hand. He stabbed it into such as
body and squeezed. His skeleton lit up like orange lightning
(05:24):
inside a thundercloud. Then he exploded. Perry went topsy, turvy
and turvy topsy. Then he crashed through a tangle of branches,
landing with us. He was back in the gloom of
the ominous forest. He was small again. He engaged the smace.
(05:45):
No one rabbit dead, nabby. Perry was having second thoughts
about everything. As he thought this thought, a third thought
slapped him upside the brain wrinkle. You know here to
fight rabbits. You're here together in and hop on out.
Perry whipped out his yoyo and began performing some basic
yoyo tricks while he did the required thinking walk the
(06:09):
dog around the world for the bob, just the basics
for focusing as a yo yo. Questions overflowed in the
form of a musical loan lodges everywhere? So how am
I supposed to move? What are you looking for? What
(06:31):
do I have to lose? I don't know, I don't know,
But on word, you must go. I don't know, I
don't know, but onward I must go. Maybe a friend,
maybe your weakness, maybe the source of this you needness
(06:52):
in the clocks, in the socks and the city beneath
the rocks. He can't hear me his dream. What does
that even met me like? It makes me want to scream?
(07:21):
I don't know, I don't know. Put on you must
go maybe maybe maybe the source of you need mess.
I don't know, I don't know. I must go Utterly intercontinental,
(07:46):
Harry's head began to sound like a bungle. He was hungry, thirsty,
dusty saw from being punted, squeezed and can cussed, munched
on some pretzels, washing them down with a swing from
his cante It made him sleepy. He lay back on
a spongeing ground, letting the music wash over him. His
eyes grew heavy. He began to dream of his seventh
(08:11):
birthday when he stomped into his kitchen and declared to
his parents and Oto son, and his younger twin siblings,
Reacha and Frank, sitting in their high chair, I have
decided I will no longer be using my middle name
because I am American and not Japanese. Petty Chan new
(08:35):
home Jin. You know I will also no longer be
speaking Japanese because I'm American, and as an American, I
will be speaking American and American only. What you say,
why are you talking a city rabbit? Grandpa Ucky gave
away everything to help us, and now you want to
get rid of only Japanese you still have. I am
now going to run away from home and the highest
(08:58):
point on Earth? Should I pack us land which and
shout my full name at the top of my lungs
for the last time so that everyone will know that I,
Perry Akiyama Hennigan did indeed exist on this day. And
then I clearly asked for the hobbit by j R. R.
Tolkien for my birthday, and not of Mice and Men
by John Steinbeck. I will then cast my middle name,
(09:21):
my mother tongue, the lucky wallet that Grandpa Acky gave me,
and this book that I didn't ask for into the
abyss below, never to be spoken of by or four again.
Got it see you. By sunset, Perry got as far
as the summit of Mount David's line. The hundred and
(09:43):
twenty eight feet in the air was no main feat
being in Mount Davidson was the highest point in San Francisco,
and that Perry was only seven. It took him nine hours.
Perry finally reached the peak, gasp for breath, his legs burning,
He looked around and realized that not only did he
(10:05):
not have the strength to shout his full name at
the towers lung, he didn't really want to anymore. Never
before had he beheld such beauty as Twilet des Sentinel.
The city of San Francisco. Lights were pubbling on in
the houses below, in the hills around here, placing Parry
in the center of his own solutional constellation. Interstellar street
(10:32):
lamps flickered to life in huminating roads that stretched out
through San Francisco outlining its curves swords and called the secks.
The sun's after glow lit up the horizon, the marmalade splash. Perry,
it was just a boy, but he knew this was
(10:53):
meant for him. There was the sunset of Perry's middle name,
the sunset of his mother tongue, the sunset of Perry
Yucky Yama Henigan. Perry flung Steinbeck's Book of Mice and
Men off the cliff. It vanished in the darkness below.
(11:15):
He took out his look he wallet, reared back to
throw it, but stopped. He slipped out the withered photo
of his Grandpa Hockey as a boy like looking in
a mirror, Perry bowed low to the Photodpa. He put
the photo back in his wallet, and with a wallet
back in his pocket, and Perry went home. This was
(11:38):
his dream as he lay asleep in the ominous forest
of Absentia, and when he awoke with a start, It's
where he was sitting on the summit of Mount David's,
clutching the carrot tightly in his hand. A teeny we
be so gleefully free sees thee and he sneezed and
(11:59):
flees to these trees. He was back in the gloom
of the ominous forest. Perry repeated the ritual, clutching the carrot.
Teeny we be so gleefully free c z and me
sneezed and fleece to these trees. Mount Davidson answers began
to dance like ballerinas. In his head is an empty canvas.
(12:21):
Whoever has the paints and brushes is in charge. I
have the carrot, I have the plum. I made this mountain,
but what does j D have. Perry folded his arms defiantly.
Vasco got no to come on me. Sludge. J D
was standing in front of him before he could complete
another breath. But gone was the dark, oozing form of slug.
(12:45):
It was j D, the boy standing there, the boy
with a stupid, taped up blesses, the sickly ten year
old boy with the condition no one could describe, or
manage or cure, the condition that made j D a
little bit different from everybody here. Did you have a
(13:05):
nice rest rabbit? Perry glanced around in confusion. They were
still on Mount david'son. What's going on? I wanted to
give you a chance to play. Let you build a
sand castle on my beach, so you could see that,
no matter how pretty you make it, eventually the big
(13:27):
bad ocean will come along and wipe it all away.
D touched his glasses, and the gloom of the ominous
forests ascended around them. Ever been to the beach, Perry, sure,
a couple of times. Not me. It was for my protection.
(13:48):
Apparently my parents didn't want me catching something. You ever
notice how I was always in danger of catching something, Perry,
yet I never did. Can't imagine how exhausting that can be. Well,
I did have that scarlet fever when I was three.
My parents say it stunted me, but hey, better stunted
(14:09):
than punted, all right? You always wear a clown, Perry.
Who was that dropkicking son of a slipper head that
punted me? He's a so cling He doesn't have a name.
He doesn't deserve one, mctweetie, And now he does, thank you.
(14:30):
Would you name something here, Perry? That's it? It sticks
like you did with absentia and sludge. How does that work?
It doesn't matter. Mctweetie was being naughty, Perry. Now he's
being punished for all his sins. Perry could see j
D was lowering his guard, so he said what he
(14:50):
would have wanted to hear at that moment. Your dad
really misses you, j D. Jendy's head jerked violently. My
father probably hasn't even noticed, I, Dodd Berry. Something raw
flashed across j D's face, and I was swapped away
by the darkness. It floated back into his eyes, bled
into his glasses, turning them into shades of nuance. Stop
(15:14):
naming things. There's only one master that such Perry, and
his name. All I see is my old buddy, j D.
Old buddy. We were buddies, sure, I mean not close buddies,
but we were definitely a charm chum. We failed, Okay,
(15:37):
I failed, and I'm trying to make it right, j D.
Harry clutched the curt again, blinked Mount Davidson return, come back.
I'll take you here. This is your favorite memory? Pretty
neat huh? You want to see mine? Well? J D
(15:58):
touched his shades and they were back in the white
world of absence. I have no favorite memory, Perry. Maybe
you buried it somewhere j D. J D stared at
Perry quietly. Perry shuffled nervously, maybe you're more of a
canvas maker than a painter. Canvas maker. My mom paints right,
(16:21):
and she's always telling me somebody cut would, somebody stretched cloth,
somebody hungered together. Canvas don't fall from sky. I'm sure
that Da Vinci guy was shopping canvas makers back in
the day. You know, maybe absential is your canvas waiting
to be filled with other people's good memories. Can a
canvas maker do this? J D touched his shades and
(16:46):
they were on the rainbow striped plane, a hot wind
blowing hard at their backs. J D grinned, bowed, and
gestured for Perry to turn. Perry obeyed. His legs turned
to molasses. Suck sucklings, sucklings, sucklings as far back as
the eye could see, terms of thousands of suckling regimentally
(17:12):
aligned battalion after battalion, rustling and bustling, frosty for battle.
At the vanguard of the Great Army, the very tip
of sludgers spear, thousands of oially black socks undulated nefariously.
J D raised his hands like a conductor, and a
(17:35):
black socks rose as a single wave. They expanded, contracted,
rose again, all in time with their master's dancing hands.
The grubby rumblers, you're so cute, very scandal ranks back
back back, trying to find the end. Went from the
(17:59):
middle the pack, A tall, tweety suckling leaped out, bounced
high in the air, then darted back into the line
the tweet, the one that punted him. Perry glanced wearily
at j D. He was still focused on his rumbler.
(18:20):
So what's the plane sludge? J D stopped and turned.
The rumblers collapsed like teach a girl, we invade, invade?
What do you mean invade San Francisco with these socks? Yes? Why? Why?
Because they are angry? What do they have to be
(18:40):
angry about their sucks? You think former inanimates have no feelings, Perry,
no dreams, no manories. They are angry about being forgotten,
like you don't pretend you know me, Perry? Yeah? Why
(19:04):
revenge to make things right? Why are you paid so thick?
I'm not thick, you're thick, red facing, breathless. J D
leaned in close to Perry. I have more hope for you, Perry,
king on my head again. That's why I wanted you
to go first. That's why you want. Perry's tongue went limp.
(19:30):
The baby bunny began kicking madly in his chest. J
D grinned devilishly. I need another way back, a door
large enough to bring my army with me. Don't you understand, rabbit,
I need a trail plaser like you. J D touched
(19:53):
his shapes, he went sludge like, and they both grew
to giants size but portions again. So Mount Perry, are
you with me? Or are you against me? Choose? A
lifetime flashed before Perry's eyes. Images of bullies bowing, girl's blushing.
(20:19):
It was all there in a moment of glory. Then
Perry snatched Jay's glasses off his face. They shrunk back
to normal, and Perry quickly backed away as j D
swung blindly in the air are He caught sight of
Perry's blurry retreating form and strode after. Get those back
(20:41):
to me, this very medicaryak again, stop using my middle name.
Perry hit the signal on the plum. The purple pocket
watch shook shimmy, then the hork the ball of Purple
harkage high into the air. The boys halted in surprise,
and why the ball of Google rise hit its apex.
(21:03):
However that explode j D. The Suckling's, the Rumblers absentia,
everything vanished. Perry was suddenly alone in a cozy cocoon
of coconut and lavender. Didn't expect that to happen. The
Plum was guiding him onward to the invisible keyhole in
(21:24):
the sky in exactly fifteen minutes. To still have it, sir?
Have what the watch? Which the first pocket watch plucked
in absentia? The Plum present to my interest in pencer.
I'm also looking collector of early time pieces. Your resume
continues to underwhelm. Do I imagine it was not at all?
(21:48):
It's here? That's just an old pocket watch? Oh is
it now? And then? I nothing more than just an
older man? Are you nothing more than just an extreme,
comply rude little girl? And you, son, are you nothing
more than a revoltingly polite and ridiculously overgrown little boy?
(22:11):
Of course you do. Appearances rarely reveal the true heart
of the matter or the manner of the man. Listen,
does it not tick? Yes, but that doesn't? Does it
not continue to reveal time? But time never existed? What
does it not continue to cling to me, faithfully committed
(22:32):
to its place in the world, trustworthy too. That doesn't
make it special. Oh you question its specialness? What did
you guys do? Sir? I signaled its sibling. That's the one,
and we wait for a reply that we regrettably cannot
(22:56):
physically reclaim the exile twin at this particular moment, we
can still communicate with her. I have to believe it
provides some comfort. It does me. Now, be still, Stitchling's
The signal can come in many forms. We must be
alert to a peculiarities. Where is plum do, sir? Still
(23:21):
in absentire? Listen? Ah there, yes, there, she is toling
the time. That's not proof. No, what was the fist?
(23:42):
Professor would be better sludge himself oozed out of that
washing machine there and told you everything you hold to
be true and real is full. That this world you
rely on so unshakably is merely a madman's sketch on
our white can fits, craftily concocted in order to distruct
(24:02):
you from what really matters. Happy, all will be made
known in its own time and proper order. Now, before
we rejoin our loudronautical proper children, we must first return
to San Francisco, as the rest of our crew were
(24:23):
about to encounter an unexpected snarl in the weave of
our stories tapestry. No, we did not best to stay
clear of Charlie. Three days in the Pay's incursion, Charlie's
incessant lingering and lurking turned into something form of a
(24:44):
fane sky. You see over there, That is don sky.
We were gathered down the road from the washing chilium,
playing marvels, waiting for Jonica to get the signal so
we can help her extract pair. Charlie Evans appeared across
the street at Nunzio the new Favorites newspapers stand. Charlie
(25:06):
could barely read, but did his best impression of a customer,
flipping to the pages of an upside down magazine, staring
at us all the while Nunzio was slumped in his
lawn chair asleep. This was Zuzio's usual post at this
time of day or any time day. Benny tried not
(25:27):
to look at Charlie. We all tried not to look.
But and Benny's not looking, the frustration swelled to the
point of combustion. He finally sucked in one last breath
and released it like an elephant blowing its nose through
a bullhorn. Cars slammed on their brakes, Passing pedestrians excused themselves.
(25:53):
Children run for covers. Benny strode across the street. Benny relaxed.
Now he's now the time. Benjamin at him. Benjie mona
elbowed Nick in the abdomen. Benny was already across the street,
tabbing Charlie Evans on the shoulder. Charlie was an intimidating presence,
(26:15):
two years older than any of us. They're like a
brick pizza oven, hair buzz short, almost six ft tall.
He had shoulders wide enough to hang curtains. His face
was enormous, hands like fly swatters, feet like snowshoes, ears
like truck doors flog open. Benny, on the other hand,
(26:36):
was a fire hydrunted with legs, more girth than brawn,
six inches shorter than Charlie. Not that any of that
matter to Benny. He just kept having Charlie on his shoulder,
even though Charlie was now looking him in the face.
What Charlie slapped Benny's hand away, Benny jabbed his meaty
finger back into the taller boy's chest way, This is
(27:01):
a free country. Benny culled his hand into a ball
and shook it into Charlie's face. This is my free fist, Benny.
Jonica was the quickest to cross the street, as if
she'd flown. She squeezed Benny's hand gently stop, But Benny
(27:21):
was way past launch mood. The rest of us filed
in behind him. Oh, you got yourself a posse there,
that boy. I never saw a Benny's fist move. Charlie
went down in a heap. He was up just as quickly, grinning,
hopping around like a boxer. That boy's got some pluck.
(27:42):
Charlie wasn't as quick as Benny, but far more powerful.
His upper cud lifted Benny off the ground, and then
he was upside down in a rack devoted exclusively to
the approaching war in Europe or Love of Lentil. Nunzio
the newspapers was a tall Italian with a bushy mustache.
(28:05):
I collected everything he ate throughout the day. Rarely did
he awaken for anything other than a purchase, which is
rare enough. Our brawl, apparently, was the other exception to
the rule. No Pi taking the water sex or that
I don't remember attacking Charlie, but attack him I did.
Weeks of pent up rage fueled me on. I don't
(28:26):
remember getting hit, but get hit idead. After about the
fourth time of landing on my back, I decided it
was safer to remain where I walked. I remember the
hazy image of Benny and Charlie rolling around on the sidewalk,
Nungeo trying to untangle them, the rest of my colleagues
riding on the concrete in various stages of distress. Get
(28:49):
off your sack of potato. Sack of potatoes, you bag
of broken vegas could stop you A lot of Nungeo
only pulled them apart. Many and Charlie glared at each other,
chest heaving shirts torn this my business, you know, to
(29:11):
my business? Go mind your business. Don't he give us
a final icy stare, then began gathering up his spilled magazines,
mothering Italian curshis. We pulled our battered self to our
feet and assemboled around Benny. Charlie calmly tucked in his shirt,
his face inscrutable. It's back more. We find you scolking
(29:33):
around here again, Charlie. We all turned in surprise. Nick
seemed to be going more of a spine each day.
Charlie spread a gob of blood into the gutter. Look,
he's ristening me in my dreams. None of us have
ever had a conversation with Charlie Evans before. It took
a moment. Who is you know who? Charlie spent another
(29:56):
gob of blood. That's what happens to people with a
guilty contract. I don't have a conscience, Nicky, Ricky timbo.
And why do you keep lurking and lingering? I asked? Sulky.
Charlie started to speak and noticed one of his shoes
was untied. He kneled wearily and started working on the laces.
(30:16):
It's j D. But he's different, older, weirder, if that's
even possible. But it's him. Doesn't talk, He's just they're waiting.
I can't even sleep anymore. The effort of speaking seemed
to diminish Charlie. He finished his laces, but remained slumped over.
(30:39):
How do you know it's him? Those stupid taped up
glasses we stifled? He gasps. Charlie noticed and pulled himself
back to his feet, studying our faces. What happened doing
where is he? You shoved him into a washing machine,
That's what happened. Then he lunged at Charlie, but Nick
and I were ready this. Yeah, what's it to you, Benjamin?
(31:02):
You'll never liked him, none of you did. Hell, Nick,
you hung up from a flagpole once. What makes you
guys so different from me? Charlie spent a final gobb
of blood into the gutter and turned to go nothing.
We turned to Jonica. We're not so different you and us.
Where's Perry? He's out of town with his parents. Liar.
(31:27):
I just want him out of my head. Okay, that's it.
That's why I've been skulking. I just and easy for
me to maybe stop beating people up and they might
start trusting you. Yeah, you're gonna trust me now, Nick, huh,
gonna be my rich pal. Nick looked down at his
new shoes. I'll settle for fear. Charlie turned to go
(31:52):
if he says something to you, maybe write it down. Charlie.
We all turned to Jonica, now the center of our
gravity on the drink, wake up, but say sleep, ask
him questions if he says something, shot it down on
the wake up I'll read them. That might help Charlie.
We wish we rolled back to Charlie. Okay, He turned
(32:13):
and shuffled off. He was limping, rying hard not to
Then he round at the corner and was gone. Dreams
aren't real. I beg your pardon. How could sludge be
in Charlie's dreams? Dreams aren't real? No? Have you never
awoken from a dream crying my dear? Maybe she has
(32:36):
her its grotesquely laughed so hard you're awakened yourself. Or
perhaps you were flying in your dream and awoke with
your heart beating like a bungo. Do they not affect us?
These dreams? They're not frightened? A tickle inspire the thick
turned pennies to Nichols, cucumbers to pick us. What is
(32:59):
it that this enguishes the real from the dream? Sleep?
Who's to say we are to sleep right now? That
all of this is the dream, and when we close
our eyes that's when our real lives begin. I have
(33:22):
you are scaring the clues? Never forget to wander children
without wonder. They could mean no surprise, no joy, no heartbreak,
no revelation. This glaring lack in your education has forced
me to reconsider the need for your longed or not training.
(33:46):
Why my lafe is glaring, sir? It begins now first
long or not challenges. Thus, when you go to sleep,
to my children awaken in your dreams, explore, report back
to me what you find right. But how do we
do that? You've turned them into dreamers? I certainly hope.
(34:17):
Show The laundron Nuts a potentially untrue tale based on
actual events, Conceived, written and directed by Colin mackenzie Mitchell.
Original music, sound design and editing by Dave McKeever, Produced
(34:39):
by Monica Michless and Dave McKeever. Script supervision and editorial
assistants by Christina Bryan. Casting by Mary Claire Sweeters. Executive
producers John Cameron Mitchell, ed Asner and Colin Mackenzie Mitchell
starring in order of the knis Isaac Robinson Smith as
the Ma and Nuncio, Alison Fraser as the Woman and
(35:04):
Madame Russia ed Asner as the Narrator, Corey Krueger as
j D and Sludge, Trevor Bernardino as Perry, John Cameron
Mitchell as Absentia, Sharon Omi as Okasan, Michael Hajiwara as
Otto san Max Mitchell as the Brother, Vin Toke as
(35:27):
the Sister, London Johnson as Benny, Lily Resto as Mona
bluebell Saraceno as Jonica, Yavon Paul as Nick Noah Bentley
as Charlie. The Laundronauts is a collaboration between I Heart
Media and Little Brother Sam Productions. For more podcasts from
(35:56):
I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, apple
Pie Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Laundronauts
is a production of iHeartRadio.
The Laundronouts is a production of I Heart Radio. This
is what we remember and remember, this is what it
sounded like. What we couldn't hear, we made up. The
rest of it is ultrue. When last we left Perry
(00:27):
in an episent show, He's going to gigantic proportions, only
to be joined or unequally god Gantchuan Sludge rising from
the ground in all his duck destinly and mountainless glory. Hello, Perry,
you ready for what you have? What you've always wanted? Perry.
(00:56):
You're a mountain among men, well among sucks, maybe you
are Mount Perry. Okay, fine, I'm Mount Perry, much appreciated.
But revenge. Come on, it'll be the same when we
get back. Not necessarily. You saw the changes that Nick
(01:17):
and Mona. Yeah, wait, how do you know exactly what
I'm talking about? Perry? The real reason you're here? Your secret?
How could Sludge do that? That was his secret? Very
really good? Angry, but to be so easily unlocked. But
it's not faced for i'd tour of desk coming. He
(01:40):
had come to save it. Enraged you, Parry rose up
to his full line and shook his boulder of a
fist and sludges face. Yeah, I do know exactly what
you're talking about, sludge, But how the heck do you
know exactly what you're talking about? Sludges face curled into
(02:00):
an oily grid. I can hear you, Perry in my dreams.
I can't hear all love you. Perry felt a shudder
run from his toes, to his ears, to his nose.
I should have helped Jati, Of all people, I should
have helped you, because I know what it's like, really,
(02:26):
Charlie and its stuff joy to what Jim Locker Parry
filled with all the dirty, stinking towels from Pe. I
was locked in there for hours, banging on the door, screaming.
He was not pleasant, not pleasant at all. But I
survived Jat, and I got over it. You are in
something to another wild Perry. No, I came by choice,
(02:49):
sludge coop quiet, his dark presence waned the menu. But
it was a puts, a real site. We all were,
and I'm sorry, sorry, we all are sludge gazed down
at the buntside trees as that they were toys, that
they had lost their lure. When he spoke again, his
voice was small. I'm sure the voice of a ten
(03:11):
year old boy. Why did you hide your middle name?
What um it means autumn mountain? Why would you hide
something so beautiful? How do you why? I don't know.
I wanted to be more American normal. I don't know.
My pap told me his dad, my granddad, aki Akita
(03:33):
Akiyama person I was named after he sold everything he
owned to my our last name before he died Henigan.
To get it changed permanently in the city records, he
bribed some clerk. Why else would he do that unless
he was ashamed of being Japanese Sludge chuckled and plucked
a buntside tree from the ground, and he came twirling
it effortless. When he was trying to help you, silly rabbits,
(03:57):
He was trying to protect you from what was coming.
What's coming? He stopped turling war Well, I'm trying to
help you. J d you inhale the deep breath, and
his duck persons began to grow again. That's the deaference
(04:17):
when you are me very, he remembered, like a gathering
storm cloud as he expanded, swallowing the bunside tree in
his duckness. I don't need and he wants out anymore.
A giant hand shut out and clamped its massive fingers
around Perry's, lifting him like a weed being plucked from
(04:39):
my garden. I am flooded, I am the creator, and
I've sun shot, and you will do what I tell you.
Periake yama and again a k A. The rabbits or
you were die. Stop seeing my middle dger's gripped tight
(05:01):
round and all the air left Perry's body. Darkness rushed in.
Perry fought to think, to say conscious, to find our
way back to Jonica, to his friends, to carrot was
suddenly in his hand. He stabbed it into such as
body and squeezed. His skeleton lit up like orange lightning
(05:24):
inside a thundercloud. Then he exploded. Perry went topsy, turvy
and turvy topsy. Then he crashed through a tangle of branches,
landing with us. He was back in the gloom of
the ominous forest. He was small again. He engaged the smace.
(05:45):
No one rabbit dead, nabby. Perry was having second thoughts
about everything. As he thought this thought, a third thought
slapped him upside the brain wrinkle. You know here to
fight rabbits. You're here together in and hop on out.
Perry whipped out his yoyo and began performing some basic
yoyo tricks while he did the required thinking walk the
(06:09):
dog around the world for the bob, just the basics
for focusing as a yo yo. Questions overflowed in the
form of a musical loan lodges everywhere? So how am
I supposed to move? What are you looking for? What
(06:31):
do I have to lose? I don't know, I don't know,
But on word, you must go. I don't know, I
don't know, but onward I must go. Maybe a friend,
maybe your weakness, maybe the source of this you needness
(06:52):
in the clocks, in the socks and the city beneath
the rocks. He can't hear me his dream. What does
that even met me like? It makes me want to scream?
(07:21):
I don't know, I don't know. Put on you must
go maybe maybe maybe the source of you need mess.
I don't know, I don't know. I must go Utterly intercontinental,
(07:46):
Harry's head began to sound like a bungle. He was hungry, thirsty,
dusty saw from being punted, squeezed and can cussed, munched
on some pretzels, washing them down with a swing from
his cante It made him sleepy. He lay back on
a spongeing ground, letting the music wash over him. His
eyes grew heavy. He began to dream of his seventh
(08:11):
birthday when he stomped into his kitchen and declared to
his parents and Oto son, and his younger twin siblings,
Reacha and Frank, sitting in their high chair, I have
decided I will no longer be using my middle name
because I am American and not Japanese. Petty Chan new
(08:35):
home Jin. You know I will also no longer be
speaking Japanese because I'm American, and as an American, I
will be speaking American and American only. What you say,
why are you talking a city rabbit? Grandpa Ucky gave
away everything to help us, and now you want to
get rid of only Japanese you still have. I am
now going to run away from home and the highest
(08:58):
point on Earth? Should I pack us land which and
shout my full name at the top of my lungs
for the last time so that everyone will know that I,
Perry Akiyama Hennigan did indeed exist on this day. And
then I clearly asked for the hobbit by j R. R.
Tolkien for my birthday, and not of Mice and Men
by John Steinbeck. I will then cast my middle name,
(09:21):
my mother tongue, the lucky wallet that Grandpa Acky gave me,
and this book that I didn't ask for into the
abyss below, never to be spoken of by or four again.
Got it see you. By sunset, Perry got as far
as the summit of Mount David's line. The hundred and
(09:43):
twenty eight feet in the air was no main feat
being in Mount Davidson was the highest point in San Francisco,
and that Perry was only seven. It took him nine hours.
Perry finally reached the peak, gasp for breath, his legs burning,
He looked around and realized that not only did he
(10:05):
not have the strength to shout his full name at
the towers lung, he didn't really want to anymore. Never
before had he beheld such beauty as Twilet des Sentinel.
The city of San Francisco. Lights were pubbling on in
the houses below, in the hills around here, placing Parry
in the center of his own solutional constellation. Interstellar street
(10:32):
lamps flickered to life in huminating roads that stretched out
through San Francisco outlining its curves swords and called the secks.
The sun's after glow lit up the horizon, the marmalade splash. Perry,
it was just a boy, but he knew this was
(10:53):
meant for him. There was the sunset of Perry's middle name,
the sunset of his mother tongue, the sunset of Perry
Yucky Yama Henigan. Perry flung Steinbeck's Book of Mice and
Men off the cliff. It vanished in the darkness below.
(11:15):
He took out his look he wallet, reared back to
throw it, but stopped. He slipped out the withered photo
of his Grandpa Hockey as a boy like looking in
a mirror, Perry bowed low to the Photodpa. He put
the photo back in his wallet, and with a wallet
back in his pocket, and Perry went home. This was
(11:38):
his dream as he lay asleep in the ominous forest
of Absentia, and when he awoke with a start, It's
where he was sitting on the summit of Mount David's,
clutching the carrot tightly in his hand. A teeny we
be so gleefully free sees thee and he sneezed and
(11:59):
flees to these trees. He was back in the gloom
of the ominous forest. Perry repeated the ritual, clutching the carrot.
Teeny we be so gleefully free c z and me
sneezed and fleece to these trees. Mount Davidson answers began
to dance like ballerinas. In his head is an empty canvas.
(12:21):
Whoever has the paints and brushes is in charge. I
have the carrot, I have the plum. I made this mountain,
but what does j D have. Perry folded his arms defiantly.
Vasco got no to come on me. Sludge. J D
was standing in front of him before he could complete
another breath. But gone was the dark, oozing form of slug.
(12:45):
It was j D, the boy standing there, the boy
with a stupid, taped up blesses, the sickly ten year
old boy with the condition no one could describe, or
manage or cure, the condition that made j D a
little bit different from everybody here. Did you have a
(13:05):
nice rest rabbit? Perry glanced around in confusion. They were
still on Mount david'son. What's going on? I wanted to
give you a chance to play. Let you build a
sand castle on my beach, so you could see that,
no matter how pretty you make it, eventually the big
(13:27):
bad ocean will come along and wipe it all away.
D touched his glasses, and the gloom of the ominous
forests ascended around them. Ever been to the beach, Perry, sure,
a couple of times. Not me. It was for my protection.
(13:48):
Apparently my parents didn't want me catching something. You ever
notice how I was always in danger of catching something, Perry,
yet I never did. Can't imagine how exhausting that can be. Well,
I did have that scarlet fever when I was three.
My parents say it stunted me, but hey, better stunted
(14:09):
than punted, all right? You always wear a clown, Perry.
Who was that dropkicking son of a slipper head that
punted me? He's a so cling He doesn't have a name.
He doesn't deserve one, mctweetie, And now he does, thank you.
(14:30):
Would you name something here, Perry? That's it? It sticks
like you did with absentia and sludge. How does that work?
It doesn't matter. Mctweetie was being naughty, Perry. Now he's
being punished for all his sins. Perry could see j
D was lowering his guard, so he said what he
(14:50):
would have wanted to hear at that moment. Your dad
really misses you, j D. Jendy's head jerked violently. My
father probably hasn't even noticed, I, Dodd Berry. Something raw
flashed across j D's face, and I was swapped away
by the darkness. It floated back into his eyes, bled
into his glasses, turning them into shades of nuance. Stop
(15:14):
naming things. There's only one master that such Perry, and
his name. All I see is my old buddy, j D.
Old buddy. We were buddies, sure, I mean not close buddies,
but we were definitely a charm chum. We failed, Okay,
(15:37):
I failed, and I'm trying to make it right, j D.
Harry clutched the curt again, blinked Mount Davidson return, come back.
I'll take you here. This is your favorite memory? Pretty
neat huh? You want to see mine? Well? J D
(15:58):
touched his shades and they were back in the white
world of absence. I have no favorite memory, Perry. Maybe
you buried it somewhere j D. J D stared at
Perry quietly. Perry shuffled nervously, maybe you're more of a
canvas maker than a painter. Canvas maker. My mom paints right,
(16:21):
and she's always telling me somebody cut would, somebody stretched cloth,
somebody hungered together. Canvas don't fall from sky. I'm sure
that Da Vinci guy was shopping canvas makers back in
the day. You know, maybe absential is your canvas waiting
to be filled with other people's good memories. Can a
canvas maker do this? J D touched his shades and
(16:46):
they were on the rainbow striped plane, a hot wind
blowing hard at their backs. J D grinned, bowed, and
gestured for Perry to turn. Perry obeyed. His legs turned
to molasses. Suck sucklings, sucklings, sucklings as far back as
the eye could see, terms of thousands of suckling regimentally
(17:12):
aligned battalion after battalion, rustling and bustling, frosty for battle.
At the vanguard of the Great Army, the very tip
of sludgers spear, thousands of oially black socks undulated nefariously.
J D raised his hands like a conductor, and a
(17:35):
black socks rose as a single wave. They expanded, contracted,
rose again, all in time with their master's dancing hands.
The grubby rumblers, you're so cute, very scandal ranks back
back back, trying to find the end. Went from the
(17:59):
middle the pack, A tall, tweety suckling leaped out, bounced
high in the air, then darted back into the line
the tweet, the one that punted him. Perry glanced wearily
at j D. He was still focused on his rumbler.
(18:20):
So what's the plane sludge? J D stopped and turned.
The rumblers collapsed like teach a girl, we invade, invade?
What do you mean invade San Francisco with these socks? Yes? Why? Why?
Because they are angry? What do they have to be
(18:40):
angry about their sucks? You think former inanimates have no feelings, Perry,
no dreams, no manories. They are angry about being forgotten,
like you don't pretend you know me, Perry? Yeah? Why
(19:04):
revenge to make things right? Why are you paid so thick?
I'm not thick, you're thick, red facing, breathless. J D
leaned in close to Perry. I have more hope for you, Perry,
king on my head again. That's why I wanted you
to go first. That's why you want. Perry's tongue went limp.
(19:30):
The baby bunny began kicking madly in his chest. J
D grinned devilishly. I need another way back, a door
large enough to bring my army with me. Don't you understand, rabbit,
I need a trail plaser like you. J D touched
(19:53):
his shapes, he went sludge like, and they both grew
to giants size but portions again. So Mount Perry, are
you with me? Or are you against me? Choose? A
lifetime flashed before Perry's eyes. Images of bullies bowing, girl's blushing.
(20:19):
It was all there in a moment of glory. Then
Perry snatched Jay's glasses off his face. They shrunk back
to normal, and Perry quickly backed away as j D
swung blindly in the air are He caught sight of
Perry's blurry retreating form and strode after. Get those back
(20:41):
to me, this very medicaryak again, stop using my middle name.
Perry hit the signal on the plum. The purple pocket
watch shook shimmy, then the hork the ball of Purple
harkage high into the air. The boys halted in surprise,
and why the ball of Google rise hit its apex.
(21:03):
However that explode j D. The Suckling's, the Rumblers absentia,
everything vanished. Perry was suddenly alone in a cozy cocoon
of coconut and lavender. Didn't expect that to happen. The
Plum was guiding him onward to the invisible keyhole in
(21:24):
the sky in exactly fifteen minutes. To still have it, sir?
Have what the watch? Which the first pocket watch plucked
in absentia? The Plum present to my interest in pencer.
I'm also looking collector of early time pieces. Your resume
continues to underwhelm. Do I imagine it was not at all?
(21:48):
It's here? That's just an old pocket watch? Oh is
it now? And then? I nothing more than just an
older man? Are you nothing more than just an extreme,
comply rude little girl? And you, son, are you nothing
more than a revoltingly polite and ridiculously overgrown little boy?
(22:11):
Of course you do. Appearances rarely reveal the true heart
of the matter or the manner of the man. Listen,
does it not tick? Yes, but that doesn't? Does it
not continue to reveal time? But time never existed? What
does it not continue to cling to me, faithfully committed
(22:32):
to its place in the world, trustworthy too. That doesn't
make it special. Oh you question its specialness? What did
you guys do? Sir? I signaled its sibling. That's the one,
and we wait for a reply that we regrettably cannot
(22:56):
physically reclaim the exile twin at this particular moment, we
can still communicate with her. I have to believe it
provides some comfort. It does me. Now, be still, Stitchling's
The signal can come in many forms. We must be
alert to a peculiarities. Where is plum do, sir? Still
(23:21):
in absentire? Listen? Ah there, yes, there, she is toling
the time. That's not proof. No, what was the fist?
(23:42):
Professor would be better sludge himself oozed out of that
washing machine there and told you everything you hold to
be true and real is full. That this world you
rely on so unshakably is merely a madman's sketch on
our white can fits, craftily concocted in order to distruct
(24:02):
you from what really matters. Happy, all will be made
known in its own time and proper order. Now, before
we rejoin our loudronautical proper children, we must first return
to San Francisco, as the rest of our crew were
(24:23):
about to encounter an unexpected snarl in the weave of
our stories tapestry. No, we did not best to stay
clear of Charlie. Three days in the Pay's incursion, Charlie's
incessant lingering and lurking turned into something form of a
(24:44):
fane sky. You see over there, That is don sky.
We were gathered down the road from the washing chilium,
playing marvels, waiting for Jonica to get the signal so
we can help her extract pair. Charlie Evans appeared across
the street at Nunzio the new Favorites newspapers stand. Charlie
(25:06):
could barely read, but did his best impression of a customer,
flipping to the pages of an upside down magazine, staring
at us all the while Nunzio was slumped in his
lawn chair asleep. This was Zuzio's usual post at this
time of day or any time day. Benny tried not
(25:27):
to look at Charlie. We all tried not to look.
But and Benny's not looking, the frustration swelled to the
point of combustion. He finally sucked in one last breath
and released it like an elephant blowing its nose through
a bullhorn. Cars slammed on their brakes, Passing pedestrians excused themselves.
(25:53):
Children run for covers. Benny strode across the street. Benny relaxed.
Now he's now the time. Benjamin at him. Benjie mona
elbowed Nick in the abdomen. Benny was already across the street,
tabbing Charlie Evans on the shoulder. Charlie was an intimidating presence,
(26:15):
two years older than any of us. They're like a
brick pizza oven, hair buzz short, almost six ft tall.
He had shoulders wide enough to hang curtains. His face
was enormous, hands like fly swatters, feet like snowshoes, ears
like truck doors flog open. Benny, on the other hand,
(26:36):
was a fire hydrunted with legs, more girth than brawn,
six inches shorter than Charlie. Not that any of that
matter to Benny. He just kept having Charlie on his shoulder,
even though Charlie was now looking him in the face.
What Charlie slapped Benny's hand away, Benny jabbed his meaty
finger back into the taller boy's chest way, This is
(27:01):
a free country. Benny culled his hand into a ball
and shook it into Charlie's face. This is my free fist, Benny.
Jonica was the quickest to cross the street, as if
she'd flown. She squeezed Benny's hand gently stop, But Benny
(27:21):
was way past launch mood. The rest of us filed
in behind him. Oh, you got yourself a posse there,
that boy. I never saw a Benny's fist move. Charlie
went down in a heap. He was up just as quickly, grinning,
hopping around like a boxer. That boy's got some pluck.
(27:42):
Charlie wasn't as quick as Benny, but far more powerful.
His upper cud lifted Benny off the ground, and then
he was upside down in a rack devoted exclusively to
the approaching war in Europe or Love of Lentil. Nunzio
the newspapers was a tall Italian with a bushy mustache.
(28:05):
I collected everything he ate throughout the day. Rarely did
he awaken for anything other than a purchase, which is
rare enough. Our brawl, apparently, was the other exception to
the rule. No Pi taking the water sex or that
I don't remember attacking Charlie, but attack him I did.
Weeks of pent up rage fueled me on. I don't
(28:26):
remember getting hit, but get hit idead. After about the
fourth time of landing on my back, I decided it
was safer to remain where I walked. I remember the
hazy image of Benny and Charlie rolling around on the sidewalk,
Nungeo trying to untangle them, the rest of my colleagues
riding on the concrete in various stages of distress. Get
(28:49):
off your sack of potato. Sack of potatoes, you bag
of broken vegas could stop you A lot of Nungeo
only pulled them apart. Many and Charlie glared at each other,
chest heaving shirts torn this my business, you know, to
(29:11):
my business? Go mind your business. Don't he give us
a final icy stare, then began gathering up his spilled magazines,
mothering Italian curshis. We pulled our battered self to our
feet and assemboled around Benny. Charlie calmly tucked in his shirt,
his face inscrutable. It's back more. We find you scolking
(29:33):
around here again, Charlie. We all turned in surprise. Nick
seemed to be going more of a spine each day.
Charlie spread a gob of blood into the gutter. Look,
he's ristening me in my dreams. None of us have
ever had a conversation with Charlie Evans before. It took
a moment. Who is you know who? Charlie spent another
(29:56):
gob of blood. That's what happens to people with a
guilty contract. I don't have a conscience, Nicky, Ricky timbo.
And why do you keep lurking and lingering? I asked? Sulky.
Charlie started to speak and noticed one of his shoes
was untied. He kneled wearily and started working on the laces.
(30:16):
It's j D. But he's different, older, weirder, if that's
even possible. But it's him. Doesn't talk, He's just they're waiting.
I can't even sleep anymore. The effort of speaking seemed
to diminish Charlie. He finished his laces, but remained slumped over.
(30:39):
How do you know it's him? Those stupid taped up
glasses we stifled? He gasps. Charlie noticed and pulled himself
back to his feet, studying our faces. What happened doing
where is he? You shoved him into a washing machine,
That's what happened. Then he lunged at Charlie, but Nick
and I were ready this. Yeah, what's it to you, Benjamin?
(31:02):
You'll never liked him, none of you did. Hell, Nick,
you hung up from a flagpole once. What makes you
guys so different from me? Charlie spent a final gobb
of blood into the gutter and turned to go nothing.
We turned to Jonica. We're not so different you and us.
Where's Perry? He's out of town with his parents. Liar.
(31:27):
I just want him out of my head. Okay, that's it.
That's why I've been skulking. I just and easy for
me to maybe stop beating people up and they might
start trusting you. Yeah, you're gonna trust me now, Nick, huh,
gonna be my rich pal. Nick looked down at his
new shoes. I'll settle for fear. Charlie turned to go
(31:52):
if he says something to you, maybe write it down. Charlie.
We all turned to Jonica, now the center of our
gravity on the drink, wake up, but say sleep, ask
him questions if he says something, shot it down on
the wake up I'll read them. That might help Charlie.
We wish we rolled back to Charlie. Okay, He turned
(32:13):
and shuffled off. He was limping, rying hard not to
Then he round at the corner and was gone. Dreams
aren't real. I beg your pardon. How could sludge be
in Charlie's dreams? Dreams aren't real? No? Have you never
awoken from a dream crying my dear? Maybe she has
(32:36):
her its grotesquely laughed so hard you're awakened yourself. Or
perhaps you were flying in your dream and awoke with
your heart beating like a bungo. Do they not affect us?
These dreams? They're not frightened? A tickle inspire the thick
turned pennies to Nichols, cucumbers to pick us. What is
(32:59):
it that this enguishes the real from the dream? Sleep?
Who's to say we are to sleep right now? That
all of this is the dream, and when we close
our eyes that's when our real lives begin. I have
(33:22):
you are scaring the clues? Never forget to wander children
without wonder. They could mean no surprise, no joy, no heartbreak,
no revelation. This glaring lack in your education has forced
me to reconsider the need for your longed or not training.
(33:46):
Why my lafe is glaring, sir? It begins now first
long or not challenges. Thus, when you go to sleep,
to my children awaken in your dreams, explore, report back
to me what you find right. But how do we
do that? You've turned them into dreamers? I certainly hope.
(34:17):
Show The laundron Nuts a potentially untrue tale based on
actual events, Conceived, written and directed by Colin mackenzie Mitchell.
Original music, sound design and editing by Dave McKeever, Produced
(34:39):
by Monica Michless and Dave McKeever. Script supervision and editorial
assistants by Christina Bryan. Casting by Mary Claire Sweeters. Executive
producers John Cameron Mitchell, ed Asner and Colin Mackenzie Mitchell
starring in order of the knis Isaac Robinson Smith as
the Ma and Nuncio, Alison Fraser as the Woman and
(35:04):
Madame Russia ed Asner as the Narrator, Corey Krueger as
j D and Sludge, Trevor Bernardino as Perry, John Cameron
Mitchell as Absentia, Sharon Omi as Okasan, Michael Hajiwara as
Otto san Max Mitchell as the Brother, Vin Toke as
(35:27):
the Sister, London Johnson as Benny, Lily Resto as Mona
bluebell Saraceno as Jonica, Yavon Paul as Nick Noah Bentley
as Charlie. The Laundronauts is a collaboration between I Heart
Media and Little Brother Sam Productions. For more podcasts from
(35:56):
I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, apple
Pie Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Laundronauts
is a production of iHeartRadio.
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