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May 1, 2024 36 mins

In this episode, two callers struggle with the current state of the world and how it's impacting their lives. The first caller lives in such a state of fear it has shrunk her world, while the second caller worries she's not doing enough to contribute to society. Iyanla guides both through the process of reframing their place in an ever-changing world.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
I am a Yamla. I had a baby daddy relationship.
I spent time in a relationship with a married man.
I had to learn the skills and tools required to
make my relationships healthy, fulfilling and loving. Welcome to the
R Spot, a production of Shondaland Audio in partnership with iHeartRadio.

Welcome back to the R Spot. I am a Yamla.
Today we're talking about something I don't think many people
talk about, and that is our relationship with the world
and how it impacts our relationship with ourselves. Because if
what you hear in the world is war and against
us and hatred, and you've got opinions, and you've got preferences.

You know, are you for abortion and not for abortion?
Are you for this candidate or not that candidate? And
in the mere fact that most people don't even feel
safe to talk about what they're thinking and feeling about
their elected officials, says that you know, there's something going
on that we don't feel safe, that we don't want

to be attacked, that we don't want, you know, whack
of doodles knocking on our door or threatening us. You know,
there is so much going on in the world. I
don't care where you look. I don't care where you live,
I don't care who you are. There is a lot
going on, and a lot of it doesn't look good,
a lot of it doesn't feel good. There is so

much coming at us that unless you're just watching reruns
of The Golden Girls, you're gonna get hit with some
of this stuff. No matter where you go, whether you
watch the news or read the newspapers, people are talking
about all of the wahalla and the conflamerytion that is

going on in the world today, between the violence and
the wars and the I want to say againstness, the
political discord, health issues, money issues. I mean, is the
economy doing better or is it not? Can you even tell?
Because I thought everything was fine and then I found

out it wasn't. Because that's what's coming at me. So
our relationship with the world really impacts our relationship with everything.
Are you afraid to go out because you might get
carjacked or mugged? Are you making a choice between buying
a dozen of eggs or paying the light bill? Where

are you? Where are you in the world? Where are
you with people? And more importantly, where are you with yourself?
As you hear or experience everything that's going on. For me,
the first thing I look at is energy. So the

energy of the world today, I mean the franticness, the chaos.
We just had two major major disasters, if you will,
in the world, from the bridge collapsing in Baltimore, and
then we just had a major upset with the distribution

of resources and GOSM people dying trying to get food,
and oh my goodness, it's just a lot. It's a
lot going on. If you're not careful, you not only
will get wrinkled, you'll get gray hair. And I'm not
fond of either one of them. But the question still becomes,
how do you manage yourself? How do you handle yourself?
How do you navigate your life with all of the

things that are floating around in the universe, And I
say all of the time. Although we think we're separate,
what's going on over in Ukraine today, we're going to
breathe that into our bodies in our lives tomorrow, because
there only is one and everything is circulating. Everything is circulating.

So I just wanted to talk today about how we
navigate the energies, vibrations, frequencies, activities of the world in
our relationship with ourselfs. I mean, are you living in fear?
Are you an upset? Are you being more gentle with yourself,
kinder with yourself? Are you spending more time doing for

other people, trying to contribute to some good in the world,
and thereby neglecting yourself. It's a mess, but it's not
a mess that we are not equipped to handle. Your
relationship with the world. What is it, how is it
and how does it impact your relationship with yourself? That

is what we are going to be talking about today.
I've got some guests who are coming forward, and let's
see if we can nibble on this thing, if we
can break it down into bite sized pieces and come
up with a little special sauce that we can pour
on ourselves and on our lives to get through these

chaotic times. Here's my first guest. Greetings, be loved, and
welcome to the R Spot. We are talking today about
your relationship with the world and how it impacts your
relationship with yourself. So how are you doing with all
of the conflomeration that's going on around us? Uh?

Speaker 2 (05:46):
Not creat not great. First, I want to just say this,
I love you so much. And I have followed you
for years and I appreciate you. Thank you for everything
that you do for people like me and this world.

Speaker 1 (06:06):
Well, I appreciate you. I thought I saw you following
me in my rear view mirror the other day. I
was wondering, who is that? But you know what, I
thank you for noticing, because there are so many people
who don't. They're just flailing around out here and really
not knowing where the lifelines are. I'm not the only one,

there are many, but most people don't even notice. So
tell me how you're doing in your relationship in the
world and your relationship with yourself. How you doing well.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
I'm coping, but not great. I feel like I live
in a state of fear of having a home invasion
or I know it sounds crazy, I just of having
a home invasion or somebody kidnapping me. I've never felt

like that. This pretty much started. I'm not going to
mention names, but back when a previous president got elected,
and to me, the world seemed to have gone crazy
after that. There was a lot of hate and I

just can't get it out of my energy, and I
don't want to attract a situation to me that the
similar to how I'm feeling, so I try to get
out of this state of mind. I had an alarm
put in our home a couple of days ago. I
have four dogs, we have cameras. We have cameras on

our house. My boyfriend thinks I'm insane. He lives on
the other end of the stick where he thinks that
nothing is ever going to happen. You know that I'm
being paranoid, but I just I seem to not be
able to get it out of my head. We have

a second home that I love to go visit and
stay at. It's in the country, and I don't even
go anymore because I'm afraid to be there by myself.
I've never had anything happen there. But in my mind,
I say, well, what if somebody just drives by and
sees me working in the yard and notices my schedule,

and oh this attractive. You know a woman is by
herself there all the time. Maybe I'll go back and
do a home invasion. And this is how crazy my
mind goes, and it just seems like it's getting worse.
And then the stuff happened with Ukraine, all that craziness,

and then Israel and I try not to watch that stuff.
I'm not a big news watcher. In fact, I know
ever watch it, but you couldn't help see what was
going on and what had happened, all those poor people
on both sides, and people being murdered and killed and
women being getting rapist. This stuff sticks in my mind

and I can't seem to get it out. I feel
like I'm becoming not a recluse, but I'm not living
freely like I used to. And I just want to
go back to feeling safe again. I just want to
go back to feeling safe again, and I just don't
know how.

Speaker 1 (09:36):
Well, yeah, there's a lot going on. Do you know
what a m path is?

Speaker 2 (09:41):
Yes, I've been told I am an I'm passed.

Speaker 1 (09:44):
Okay, So that's what's happening to you. You are absolutely
picking up the energy because and while as human beings,
you know, we have a heart for other human beings,
you know, when something tragic happens, will send me money
or will go to help, We'll send clothes, will do
what we can. And that's just the normal compassion that

we have as human beings. But to feel it the
way you feel it, and I think in your case,
in most people's case, they have a thought that gives
rise to a feeling. What I'm hearing in your sharing
is that you have a feeling that then gives rise

to a thought. Yeah, so you feel the energy and
then you'll think of what it is or you'll put
a meaning to it. And that's all moving from the
intellect and from your perception of what's going on. I

want to offer an opportunity for you to flip it,
to see it from a broader perspective, so that you
can reframe it. I think, out of everything that you share,
the statement, really, I wrote it down and I'm circling it.

Afraid to be by myself. You are never by yourself. Never. Yep,
you're never alone. Do you know that?

Speaker 2 (11:25):
I know I should know that, Yes, ma'am.

Speaker 1 (11:28):
You should know it. But do you know it? I mean,
do you really really know it?

Speaker 2 (11:36):
No? No?

Speaker 1 (11:38):
Okay, okay, good. So let's approach it then from the
intellectual perspective. If you had to take a wild guess,
why do you think all of this stuff is going
on in the world?

Speaker 2 (11:52):
I for me, I don't know. I just feel like
there's no there's so much separation in the world from love,
from what's important to us, from God, from the universe.
I just feel like we've all gotten away from what

really matters, and there's just so much hate.

Speaker 1 (12:18):
So there's a premise that I always teach my students
and one that I work with all the time, and
it's this, at all times, in all situations, under all circumstances,
there is no one in the room but you and God, nobody.

So when you look out at the world, it's you.
It's you. It may be your mind, it may be
your heart, it may be your thoughts, your beliefs. So
how does all of this upset, confusion, hatred against nus?

Where is that in you?

Speaker 3 (13:03):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (13:04):
Maybe I think it's also part to do has to
do with the relationship I've been in for years too,
feeling unsafe, not not physical, no physical violence, but I
feel like because I've been unhappy there for many years,

that it's projecting into that as well.

Speaker 1 (13:28):
Yeah, how about that? How about that? And how about
the things that you see in the world. You talked
about separation, you talked about against this, you talked about hatred.
What about the fact that you are against what you're seeing? Yes,
you are not liking, maybe not hating what you're seeing.

What about you think that you're separate from what you're seeing.
So the very thing that you're projecting out onto the world,
you're doing yourself.

Speaker 2 (14:00):
Oh yes, ma'am.

Speaker 1 (14:03):
You know you have little Ukrainian thoughts in your brain
that are fighting for freedom. I just said it. I
feel unsafe and the unhappy in my relationship. Maybe that's
your Ukraine in Russia.

Speaker 2 (14:17):
Mm hm.

Speaker 1 (14:19):
You know, I'm sure when you look out or you
hear things, people did this, they did that. You know. Yes,
the children are hungry, the women are being raped, the
you know this, this party is not taking into consideration
the welfare of others. Well, you're doing the same thing. Yeah,
there is no separation. So one of the ways that

you can begin to dissipate the energy because you said
it sticks in my mind and I feel it. I
want you to consider I feel this energy and then
it gets stuck in my mind.

Speaker 3 (14:58):

Speaker 1 (14:59):
So, so what I would encourage you to do is
push past those boundaries. And when you feel something, instead
of judging it or giving it a name or calling
it anything, you bless it. You just say, well, I
bless the situation. You know, I don't know anybody in Ukraine,

not one living soul. I'm a little black lady from Brooklyn.
I don't know nobody in Ukraine or Russia, you know.
But I bless them every morning. I bless them every
morning because I have the power, just like you, to
change the conditions of my life. So when I wake

up in the morning, I bless Ukraine. I bless the
women first, and I bless the children. Then I bless
the grandmothers. I bless the people in Israel. Yes, I
bless the people in Gaza. Yes, even bless the form
of president because for me, he's very, very purposeful. To me,

he's showing us who we are at the lowest common denominator.
And I look at that and I say, Okay, have
I done that? Where am I doing that? How do
I do that? And if I'm not, I just say
thank you God that I've healed myself. And if I am,
I get busy adjusting it.

Speaker 2 (16:26):

Speaker 1 (16:27):
If I'm bullying whatever I see and I think it's
about them, I say, okay, where is that in me?
I surrender it and call it something else. We're going
through a massive, massive cleaning. The universe is cleaning itself,
and Mother Earth is rebelling, you know, She's like, I'm

tired of you people peeling all my trees and tearing
up out. Okay, but as an impath, you may need
need to go a little deeper. We'll talk about that
when we come back. Welcome back to the r spot.

Let's pick up where we left off. So there's a
couple of things. I don't know how deep you want
to go. You want the red pill or you want
the blue pill. The red pill.

Speaker 2 (17:24):
So deep?

Speaker 1 (17:27):
Well, first of all, you got to clean up that
stuff in your relationship, yes, ma'am. If you're feeling emotionally unsafe,
because you said it's not physical, so it must be emotionally.
So if you're having, for example, this is just an example,
you're having all of this reaction to everything that's going on,

and you're being told you're paranoid, then you may not
feel safe to express what you truly feel. Right. Does
that sound accurate?

Speaker 2 (18:01):
Yeah, yes, ma'am.

Speaker 1 (18:03):
So you've got to clean that up first of all. Okay,
you got to clean that up.

Speaker 2 (18:09):
I could do that.

Speaker 1 (18:10):
Yeah. If you're in a relationship, why are you afraid
to be by yourself? Right? And if you understand that
we are all children of the most time, you have
to know you're never ever alone. Many many years ago
I read a book called Hiring the Heavens, and it
talks about how we can call on higher forces, higher

energies called angels to do whatever we need done. I
want to encourage you to hire a couple of angels
to protect you.

Speaker 2 (18:45):
Okay, I can do that.

Speaker 1 (18:48):
Yeah, it's as simple as calling them in. Call them in,
you know. And the greatest protector is Mickayel or arch
angel Michael. But then you have Gabrielle, you have zach Kiel,
you have Metatron. You have so many universal forces that
you can call on. So even when you feel I

can't go out in the yard too because somebody might
see me. How about Michael, Archangel Michael, let's go out
in the yard. And that way you're pushing past the
mental construct. Okay, but you also get to call in
light energy and protection, you know. And it all depends

on your belief system, your faith system. Yes, but I.

Speaker 2 (19:38):
Yes, yeah, I got away from it. Unfortunately.

Speaker 1 (19:43):
Well that's because you don't feel safe m hm, and
and that you have to address. So in your case,
we were looking at how does the world impact your
relationship with yourself and your life. But it sounds like
you're relationship with yourself and your life is impacting how

you interface with the world. Yes, yes, unhappiness. You get
to change it, Yes, you do. You have what you
need to change the condition of your life. It may
be how you look at it and maybe how you
speak to it or don't speak to it, but you
have the power to change whatever it is.

Speaker 2 (20:26):
I gotta get my lady balls.

Speaker 1 (20:28):
Oh yeah, get your lady balls, dust them off.

Speaker 3 (20:35):
Yes, yes, and put it.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
To use, because I really do think that you're empathic.
It's the way that you are describing what's happening. Yes,
it sounds like you are an EmPATH. There's a wonderful
book by doctor Judith Alloff O r LFF okay about
how to manage energy around you when you are an EmPATH.

She's gonna tell you what oils to use. She's gonna
tell you how to clear yourself with crystals. She's gonna
tell you how to drop a protective shield around you.

Speaker 3 (21:09):

Speaker 1 (21:10):
And the simplest thing, like I said, is call on
the universal forces. Hire some angels to be with you.
Every time you have the thought, every time you have
the feeling, Okay, every single time, until it sticks and
you feel it, and consider that as long as you're
feeling unsafe, unprotected, unacknowledged, unhappy in your personal relationship, you're

gonna project that out into the world because there's nobody
in the room but you and God. So it's all you,
it's all me. I'm just talking to another aspect of
myself right now, because there's an aspect of me that
looks out into the world and her hair is on fire.
She's running around with her draws down, screaming and hollering,

Oh my god, the foodstock the full stop coming. They're
gonna eat me, They're gonna kill me. But then there's
then there's me, there's me iyamla. And I have dominion.
I have dominion over my mind. So what do I
have to do? Do I need to close my eyes

and visualize white light?

Speaker 3 (22:22):
Mm hmm?

Speaker 1 (22:23):
Do I need to get a piece of roast quartz
and and cover hold it until and give it all
my negative energy? Do I need to call on the angels?
Do I need to call on my grandmother? Because my
grandmother was a formidable woman, she's not gonna let nobody
bother me. What do I need to do in this

moment when it gets you know, overwhelm me. Okay, But
then again, if you if you reframe what's going on.
So I look out every day and I'm like, wow,
we are really cleaning. Change is coming and it's coming quick.
Let me be ready. Let me have some water, Let

me have some beans, some rice, Let me keep my
landline and don't depend on the cell phone. Let me
be ready. I mean, gots get some candles and some
oh flashlights, because I don't know how the change is coming.
But I'm gonna be ready and I'm gonna have toilet
paper and paper towels when it gets here.

Speaker 2 (23:28):
Yeah, exactly, Okay, I can do those things.

Speaker 1 (23:33):
I can, and more than doing my love, I want
you to be I want you to be at peace,
knowing you are safe, knowing that you're gonna have what
you need when you need it. You're gonna be where
you need to be when you need to be there

to know those things and be those things, and everything
that comes up in the world just bless it. I
don't know why this war is going on in Ukraine,
and I know that I'm breathing today the air of
fear and disaster and distress and anxiety that they breathed yesterday.

It's over here today. So I'm gonna bless it. I'm
gonna bless myself. I don't know. I'm not taking sides
in Israel, Gaza, Palestine, but I'm gonna bless the babies.
I'm gonna bless the children. Yes last week, I went
out in my yard. It was freezing and I filled

up all my bird feeders. I have bird feeders all
over my yard, and as I was filling them up,
I said, this is for the children in Israel, this
is for the children in Gaza, this is for them.
And I filled those feeders and I could visualize in
my mind the children getting food, children not being afraid,

and I'm here feeding the birds. But it's about the
thought and the intention. I can't go to gods, I
can't go to Israel and feed the babies, but I
can feed the birds here with the intention that those
babies will get what they need. That's how you reframe it.

Speaker 2 (25:18):
Okay, Oh that really got me right in the heart. Yeah, yeah,
thank you so much. Young You're wonderful, welcome, have a blessing,
thank you, love you back.

Speaker 1 (25:33):
Each of us is going to receive and experience whatever's
going on in our environment in a very personal and
profound way. And there are those people who are quite
sensitive to energy. They can feel it, they can sense it,

and whether it's the energy in the world or the
energy of the people in your office or just your children,
these people are empathic. They are clear, satient, they feel
so in the time like this that we're going through,
I can imagine that there are many of you out
there who are just your hair's on fire because you

feel everything, and those feelings then become thoughts that you
personalize and make it about you, because when you don't
understand how to deal with the energy, the empathic energy
that you experience, you'll take it on and make it
your own. Okay, So for all of you. Really, I'm
not an EmPATH. I'm not, but I do. My grandson is.

So I've learned a lot, and I've talked to doctor
Judith or Love about how to support him. And he's
only six, and he will tell you, I know what
people are feeling in their heart because that's what empaths do.
So if you are feeling everything, in the world and
taking it on as your own worrying. Like my college

said about home invasions the way Ukraine was invaded, or
about being violated in some way. While you're in the
garden or the supermarket or the gas station, you might
be empathic, so you might be picking up the energy
because there's a lot going on. Take care of yourself.

Simply call in a universal healing angelic energy. Bless everything,
Bless everything. I don't know what this means. I don't
know what it's for, but I know there's a higher
purpose that I cannot see. So I bless it. I
bless my opponents. I bless my adversaries. I bless those

who I would consider enemies. And I ask to have
that energy transmuted, elevated, so that it's a blessing for
us all our relationship with the world and how it
impacts our relationship with ourselves. If nothing else, what's going
on in the world is going to teach you something

about who you are, what you believe, and how you
do what you do. Let's see what my next caller
has to say. Welcome, beloved, Welcome to the our spot.
We are talking today about our relationship in the world,
with the world, with all that's going on in the world,
and how it impacts our relationship with ourselves. How's your

relationship today? Wow?

Speaker 3 (28:33):
Yes, hi, ma'am. First of all, I would like to
say good afternoon, and my relationship really is frustrating with
the world to say the least concerning, but also frustrating
within myself really to see what can I do to
be of service to the world and how it is today?
That's mainly it.

Speaker 1 (28:54):
So what can you do?

Speaker 3 (28:56):
What I can do every day, which what I try
to instill in myself and my children is be a
service anywhere I can, because I feel like that's just
missing in our society, being of service for others. We
have become so self entitled, from the top person on
down to the gender. It doesn't matter, because together we

make a hole. So that's why I look, like I say,
out into the world with frustration, But I mainly really
look at what every day, in the slightest way, without
a title, without recognition, what can I do every single
day as I step outside, as I interact with people,
to make a difference, Because that's where it boils down to,

regardless of all social media, regardless of what can be seen.
We're missing doing the basic work every day amongst each other,
and it's over it's overviewing, it's spilling over Delusion has
mastered people's mindset this point. So that is utterly frustrating

because it's like when you try to speak, even in
your everyday life or try to show action, is still
overlooked and what can you do because you can only
control what you can control. So it's like knowing that
living in this world can be utterly frustrating because we
have people we don't know of in a lot of controls.

And it's right, it's just it's your technic. So just
looking where we can start every day, I just look
at the basics. We've forgotten the basics being kind, respecting
each other, and that concerns with we'll talk about that
right after the break.

Speaker 1 (30:45):
Welcome back to the R spot. Let's get back to
the conversation. I think you've got it though you said it, Yeah,
to do what you can without title, without recognition, be kind,
be compassionate, you know again, because I think because of

social media, everybody wants to be noticed and acknowledged for
you know, what they do, and they want friends and likes.
But look at Mother Teresa. Look at Mother Teresa. You know,
I won't even say Jesus, that's too high for so
many people. But Mother Teresa, who really gave her life over,

who walked among the lepers and the ill and the
poor and just gave them love, gave them love. One
thing that we can do that doesn't cost us anything.
I bless everything, exactly, I bless everything. I was really
praying one day for light to come on in our

leader's mind and the political leaders and the House and
the Senate. And that day two people retired or they quit.
I said, oh wow, maybe I need to change that brainer.
I would rather have them stay and bring the light
or than take the light and go.

Speaker 2 (32:08):

Speaker 1 (32:08):
I don't know if my prayer had anything to do
with it, but I'm just saying, that's what we can do.
One of the things I do all the time I
feed the birds. I feed the birds because birds carry
the message everywhere. The other thing I do is I
have a charity that I give to I have several,
you know, and it's not a lot of money. If
I can do twenty five fifty dollars a month to

the school on the Lakota Reservation in South Dakota. I
give to Saint Jude's Hospital. I can give where I can.
That's what we can do. Give where you can. What
I would say is when you feel frustrated or when
you feel concerned, turn it over. Say you know, Holy Spirit,

I don't understand this. I wish it was different. It's
not tell me what can I do, and it may
not be that you can do anything for that. I've
been asking looking for the past two weeks. Who is
collecting food and money for Haiti. I can't find it.
I know the Red Cross does, but I'm not sure

it gets there directly. So I'm looking for grassroots organizations.
Who is taking care of the babies in Haiti. That's
what I want to do. I got clothes, I got clothes.
I got a few dollars I can send, but mostly clothes.
You know, I got seven grandkids that are outgrowing everything.
I want to send that to Haiti and I'm going

to get it there. That's what I can do. So
one of the ways that we can improve our relationship
with ourselves in response to what's going on in the
world is find what you can do and do it
without a title or without the need for reward or recognition.

Speaker 3 (33:57):
You are on it, yes, ma'am, Thank you so much, thank.

Speaker 1 (34:02):
You, thank you. How many babies you got?

Speaker 3 (34:06):
I have three, ma'am, a three year old, a two
year old and a nine month old.

Speaker 1 (34:10):
Whoa, you are on it.

Speaker 3 (34:12):
Yes, I'm on it. I'm on top of it all. Yes, ma'am.

Speaker 1 (34:17):
So oh my god, we'll bless the babies. You take
good care of yourself and take good care of them. Okay,
you as well, ma'am. Have a great one, all right, okay,
bye bye. I love it. A mama with three babies
and still giving and doing in the world. That's she
got a three year old or two year old and

a nine month old. But you know, that's how you
have them, so that when they're gone, they're all gone.
You don't want one lingering back, dragging you back into
diapers and bottles. Oh my gosh. Do what you can
without the need for reward or recognition. If you can

give to a charitable cause, if you can work the
food line, do that so you have that good feeling
and know that your contribution you're giving from the heart
with love, no matter how little or how much you
think it is it is helpful. You donating to the

local food pantry in your community may not end the
war in Gaza, but you are feeding people and it
all matters in our relationship with the world. Just as
my last caller said, do what you can where you can,
with what you have, and know that it will have

an impact. I hope that you know something now that
you didn't know. When you're tuned in, and until we
meet again, stay in peace and not pieces. I'll see
you next time. Bye.

Speaker 2 (36:08):
A favorite.

Speaker 1 (36:11):
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