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May 15, 2024 39 mins

In the second episode of our relationship with money series, Iyanla helps two callers re-evaluate their money stories. The first caller feels her money comes and goes while the second caller is trying to establish a relationship with money. Iyanla teaches both callers to create new money stories.

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:02):
I am a Yamla. I had a baby daddy relationship.
I spent time in a relationship with a married man.
I had to learn the skills and tools required to
make my relationships healthy, fulfilling and loving. Welcome to the
r Spot, a production of shandaland Audio in partnership with iHeartRadio.

Blessings and greetings. Welcome to the art Spot, the place
we come to talk about all things relationships, all kinds
of relationships and relationships with all kinds of things and people.
I am Yamla, your support, your facilitator, your hosts for

today's investigation and explore. We're not talking about people today. Well,
we are talking about people, but we're talking about people's
relationship with money. Money, money, money. You know. I consider
money to be a living thing because money is energy

and energy represents power. And it always amazes me that
people speak more often than not in the lack of money,
which says to me they have a lack of energy
and possibly a lack of power. Money is a thing,
it's living, and it supports us in giving and receiving

the things we need to live. And so many of
us have a disfunctional relationship with money. We have the
same kind of relationship with money that we often have
with people. So my question I got some questions for
you about your relationship with money. Are you a good

money partner? And are you a good partner to money?
If money is a living thing, if it's an energy,
if it's a power, what does your relationship with money
look like? I mean, do you court money, you know,
take it out, have a good time with it, and
make sure it has a good time, you have a
good time. Do you know what money likes? Do you

know what money makes do you know what makes money
feel good? And do you know how money makes you
feel good? Do you trust money? Do you trust yourself
with money? Do you know that you can count on
money to be there when you need it, when you

want it? What kind of relationship do you have with money?
And what kind of relationship would you like to have
with money? Do you want to marry it or do
you just want to roll around with it sometime? Yeah,
that's what we're talking about today on the R Spot.

Our relationship with the energy of money, with the power
of money, with the structure of money, and how it
operates and how does it operate in your life. I've
got some guests to have some interesting relationships with money.
Here's my first caller. Hello, greetings, be love it, and

welcome to the R Spot. We are talking about our
relationship with money today. Yeah, so is money a long term,
committed lover or is it just a baby daddy here
long enough to leave you with a debt.

Speaker 2 (03:53):
It's a baby daddy, Hilma, how are you?

Speaker 1 (04:00):
Oh God, I am so good. Yeah, baby daddy just
come around. It's there long enough to leave you with
an obligation and it's not even enjoyable or helpful.

Speaker 2 (04:12):
Yes, I've done a lot of work on myself, but
the money thing is still I feel a little stuck there.
It feels it feels deeper to me, and I just
I feel like I'm so close to getting it, but

I don't know. I'm having some kind of like some
kind of something. And I don't know if it's an
ancestral like a generational thing, because I kind of see
the same thing with my dad. But I feel that
it's Yes, it's a baby daddy. It just comes and goes.

I get a lot of it. So I'll give some background.
I work with myself. I'm a realtor and so then
I have to make my own money, which puts me
in an interesting situation. And I feel like I get
a lot of God sends me a lot of opportunities
to make money. But when I start thinking about, you know,

like what it could do for me, I get so
scared that I kind of so sabotage the money and
I end up ruining it. And I'm I go into
the mindset like it's not gonna work. It's not gonna work.
And it's only when I'm literally down to the wire
where I'm like, Okay, I have no money that I'm like,

let me get to work. Let me get to work.
But I feel like I kind of purposely hold myself
back from making money. I feel like I keep myself
like in a powerless, like helpless state where I'm like,
I'm not thriving, I'm just surviving.

Speaker 1 (05:55):
Okay, So let's play a game. You want to play? Yes, Okay,
if you had to, if you had to name money,
what would its name?

Speaker 2 (06:07):
Okay, I'll just say what came up versus was soul?
Came up?

Speaker 1 (06:13):
Soul? Okay? Soul? O, Hey, soul? Now what color is soul?
What described soul to me? As if it were a
physical thing, Describe it to me?

Speaker 2 (06:25):
What would sob m? Evergreen? Like dark green?

Speaker 1 (06:32):

Speaker 2 (06:33):
Kind of like a like a bush?

Speaker 1 (06:37):
Okay, ever green.

Speaker 2 (06:43):
Kind of dark mm hmm, far away, kind of mysterious.

Speaker 1 (06:51):
Far away, oh, far away mysterious, A mysterious kind of
thing that you got to chase.

Speaker 2 (06:57):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't.

Speaker 1 (07:02):
And when and when you look at that evergreen bush,
when you look at that dark, far away mysterious thing,
how does it make you feel?

Speaker 2 (07:19):
It makes me feel anxious. It makes me feel it
makes me feel intimidated.

Speaker 1 (07:29):
Mmmmm. And what else? Anxious? Intimidated? What else? Oh?

Speaker 2 (07:37):
Man? It makes me feel not good enough of the
feeling that I have right now?

Speaker 1 (07:47):
Uh huh okay. So soul, the evergreen bush that's dark,
mysterious and far away makes you feel anxious, intimidated, and
not good enough. So why in the hell with soul?
Want to be with you?

Speaker 2 (08:09):
I don't know. I really love I really love that. Yeah,
love me?

Speaker 1 (08:18):
You love soul? You love soul? You're just anxious intimidated
by it? It comes around. You don't feel good enough?
It's dark and mysterious. What don't you like about soul?

Speaker 2 (08:34):
Oh? Well, what I was gonna say, is it's never
there when I need it. I don't thought that's true.

Speaker 1 (08:41):
Never there when you need it? Okay, well we're just
playing the game. Never there when you need it. You know,
that's like the that's like the lover that says I
love you, I love you, I want to be with you,
and then you call and they don't answer phone, and
you and they're constantly telling you, no it. I ain't
got nobody else, I ain't with nobody else. But it's

never there when you need it.

Speaker 2 (09:05):
Hmmm mm hmm.

Speaker 1 (09:08):
Okay, so that's what you don't like about money? What
else is anything else you don't like about soul?

Speaker 2 (09:18):
I feel like I always have to give it away.

Speaker 1 (09:23):
Okay, give it away? Mm hmmm. So even when it
is there, not only are you intimidated by it, anxious
about it, you don't feel good enough for it, and
then you give it away.

Speaker 2 (09:39):
Yes, mm hmmm mm hmm.

Speaker 1 (09:43):
Are you are you seeing this? Why do you think
soul would want to be with you? Because if the
key thing here is not good enough to have more,
I gotta make my own money, but I'm not good
enough to have more. I own my own business, but

I'm not good enough to have more. Underneath that you're
saying that I'm intimidated by who I am intimidating. Greater
your own power, creter your own power. You know why,

because money is power. It's a medium of exchange, and
the more we have, the more power we can experience
and express. Money is an energy, it's a power. It's
a medium of exchange. That's all it is. It has
nothing to do with your career, it has It has
nothing to do that. That's the trick. We've been tracked goodly,

lamboozled into thinking that I can work hard enough, work
long enough, and do enough to have all the money
I want. That is a downright lie. It's your thinking
and your feeling that gives birth to your abundance. And

if you think that soul is an evergreen bush that's dark,
far away, mysterious, and you feel anxious, intimidated, not good
enough to have it, because it ain't never there when
you need it, and if it is there, you gotta
give it away. You ain't gonna chase soul, You're not
gonna go for it. H And in there, anything you

think about money, you think about yourself. Because money is energy.

Speaker 2 (11:53):
Oh okay, money is energy.

Speaker 1 (12:00):
You're afraid of your own power, intimidated by what you
can do, so busy believing that you're not gonna be
there for you when you really need it, you set
it out your mouth. I hold myself back until there's
an emergency. Then you get you know, you call it,
you call it baby daddy for some panthers and.

Speaker 2 (12:21):
Some all right, you got me, And all the other time.

Speaker 1 (12:29):
You're talking bad about it. The ain't never hear when
I want it. It's over there, you know, and I
never know when it's gonna show up. But now the
baby ain't got no pamps. Now you're gonna call oh,
let me get out here. I ain't got no money.
Let me go make some and we'll talk about that
when we come back. Welcome back to the R spot.

Speaker 2 (13:02):
But Mama, what do I do with that? What do
I do with that?

Speaker 1 (13:07):

Speaker 2 (13:08):
What action sects do I take?

Speaker 1 (13:11):
You got to go back and unpack your money, how
you experience money, what you were taught about money, what
you heard and saw about money when you were little.
You gotta unpack that story. And it's as simple as okay,
that's that's not true. Come current to who you are now.

You are a powerful woman in the world making your way.
You know, you are flying. Every soul out there wants you,
Every soul wants a piece of who you are. And
you got to walk around knowing that and believing that
it's not about the money. It's about the energy that
you're going to attract. You can have two three clients

and each of them sell a house, buy a house,
get a house, But it's not the house, it's your energy.
But you gotta go back and unpack that money story.
Everybody has a money story and they're living it and
it has nothing to do with who you are today.
What did you hear about money growing up? What did

you see?

Speaker 2 (14:16):
Okay, so my mom was very good with money, but
my dad was not.

Speaker 1 (14:22):
What does that mean she was good with money?

Speaker 2 (14:25):
She saved money. She always had like money in a flash,
you know, for a rainy day, and why it got.

Speaker 1 (14:35):
To be raining. Ain't nobody going out in the rain
to spend the money? Were going out with the money
and the sunshine. Do you see those stories that we
tell you got to ask some money for a rainy day? No,
the hell I don't. I'm gonna be home when it's raining.
I want my money when the sun is shine.

Speaker 2 (14:52):

Speaker 1 (14:53):
Okay, there is a wonderful, wonderful book. I want you
to go get it because you're working, you work for yourself,
and this particular book talks a lot about that happy
pockets full of money, happy pockets full of money, because
right now your pockets are not happy.

Speaker 2 (15:15):
Okay, they're not they're not. And I know and people
and it gets on my nerves even more because people
are always telling me, oh my god, god, you're gonna
be a millionaire, You're gonna be so good, you're gonna
be the first one in the family. And it's like,
I don't know what to do with that pressure. I'm like,
oh my god, I'm telling me this, you know. I'm like, okay, why.

Speaker 1 (15:37):
But that's because you're anxious, intimidated, not good enough, and
you give it away because it's mysterious, it's dark, nice,
and you don't think you're good enough, Afraid of your
own power, intimidated by your own power, not good enough
to have power. Money is power, that's all it is.

It's a medium of exchange that allows us to experience
and express our internal power, a personal power. Happy pockets
that's in name the book go get it, not only
read it, do those exercises in it, and he breaks
that thing down. So you're gonna be slapping yourself in

the face.

Speaker 2 (16:25):
And want to people want to flap me.

Speaker 1 (16:31):
Yeah, slapping your own self in the face because you
saving for a rainy day. Suppose it never rains again,
or if it rains every day. How's that going to
increase your money when you got to go out and
be showing people houses. M m. You don't have to
be practical with money. You don't have to be practical

with money. You can be responsible with money. You have
to be practical. What is practical? What does that mean?

Speaker 2 (17:03):
Saving it? Saving it all?

Speaker 1 (17:07):
Why saving it for? What? Do you save your power?
How many times have you had an argument with a
fool I'm talking a pure de fool that you know
couldn't think. They weighed out a paper bag and you're
trying to convince them of something. How many times have
you done that.

Speaker 2 (17:27):
A couple?

Speaker 1 (17:29):
Oh yeah, yeah, wasting your power? And let me ask
you this question. And I asked this of you because
you say you work for yourself, your realtor where's God
in that?

Speaker 2 (17:49):
Where's God in that?

Speaker 1 (17:51):
And yeah? And then she was silent. Where is God
in you? Working for your with God in that?

Speaker 2 (18:03):
Well, theoretically, I don't work for myself, I'm working for God.

Speaker 1 (18:07):
I washeah, not working with God, working in God, working
for God. God wants every single one of his children
to have a home. Scriptures say in my father's house,
there are many mansions, and one of the mansions got
my name on it. I just need to find the

reality who can get Okay, God wants every single one
of his children to have a house. God wants every
single one of his children to be provided for. God
wants every single one of his children to be stable
and safe. So you're not only working for God, you're
working with God. You're working in God. You're working as God.

Thank you. And God is unfailing abundance. God is unfailing abundance.
There is no lack in God. If you're in lack,
it means you're in your humans, not in your divinity.
So what's the name of your your reality.

Speaker 2 (19:15):
Company investing with kat.

Speaker 1 (19:19):
Okay, it's you might want to consider changing it to
God and.

Speaker 2 (19:24):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (19:28):
God Incorporated. That I work for God incorporated. Where there's
no unemployment, where there's no uh five oh one C
three or four oh one K or you know my
my four oh one K is endlessly supplied. It has
an unlimited supply. I can retire whenever I want. I

work for God Incorporated. Well, I don't punch a clock.
I serve a purpose. I work for God Incorporated. Well,
I'm always supplied with everything that I need. I'm working
for God with God in God as God. It's God incorporated.

God is incorporated into every single thing that I do.
My mother was practical. God is wealth. I can have
money when the sun is out, when it's raining, when
it's snowing, if it's hailing, if it clouds up in
doodoo balls start falling out the sky. I'm gonna have
what I need when I need it. That's the mindset,

and you're gonna get that and happy pockets full of money.

Speaker 2 (20:35):
I'm going to read it. I am going to read it, because.

Speaker 1 (20:41):
Don't read it, read it, lick the pages. Sleep with
the book on your head, tie it on the scarf,
and put it on the top of your head so
the words will seep into your brain. I started working
for God Incorporated in nineteen eighty eight, and I've never
been unemployed since. Never never missed the meal since nineteen

eighty eight. I can show you my butt right now
today and you'll see I ain't never missed the meal ever,
and usually have two or three of them. People bring
me food, all kinds of all the time. You know,
pray of your power, and don't be running from soul.
Soul is good to you, so soul wants to rock

your world about that you Okay, okay, baby, hear me,
hear me, hear me, hear me, hear me good. Hear
me with your hair. Hear me with your hair follicles.
Hear me with your skin, with your fingernails, hear me

with your toenails. Hear me with your nipples. Hear me
with your with your your butt. Hear me with your everything,
your biceps, your quads, hear me with your sick pack,
your twelve back. Hear me with your dune lap belly,
the belly that Doune lopped over into your lap. Okay,
there is no shortage. Money. Money is not your supply.

Your self value, your self worth, your self respect, your
self love is your banker, and you can make unlimited
deposits from your account when you are clear about who

you are But if you think that you're out there
working on your own, if you think that the baby
daddy ain't gonna show up when you need it, if
you think that you and money just got a hook up,
if you think it's just the friend around sometimes but
you know, barely covering the basics. Some of y'all are

celibate when it comes to money, not even thinking about
having more getting more because you don't know yourself. I
don't know who you are. Let me get in that
with you, okay, because I'm not talking about you, I'm
talking with you. We don't know who we are. We

don't know who we are. And as long as we
think we're out here on our own, money's gonna be
a drive by, it's gonna be a boogeyman, it's gonna
be dark and mysterious far away. And then how many
of us really know how to receive? Or do we

only attach money to what we can do to get it.
I have some really really bad money habits because I
don't follow the rules, and people with oh, you got
bad money habits? But I stand in the promise I
will never see my seed begging for bread. I ain't

never had to beg for bread. There are moments when
all I have is a crust, But I know I'm
gonna have what I need. I believe that because I
deserve it, I'm worth it, and I value myself. All right,
let me see who else is out there. They got
a dysfunctional relationship with money, and we'll talk about that

when we come back. Welcome back to the R spot.
Greeting's been loved, and welcome to the our spot. Thank
you for your patience. We are talking today about our
relationship with money. Some people have a one night stand,

some people are married to it. What's your relationship with money?

Speaker 2 (25:01):
I would say my relationship with money is nonexistent.

Speaker 1 (25:07):
You celibate, you celibate, You ain't had none in a while.
Oh my god, tell me more about your relationship with money.
Why does it look like that?

Speaker 2 (25:19):
Well, because I worked. I've worked two jobs for like
the last seven years. I have yet to get a
form of a savings account. Every penny that I pretty
much make either those two bills or providing for my
child and myself by the time the bills are done,

and putting groceries in a house. I really have about
at the match five hundred dollars.

Speaker 1 (25:52):
Can I ask you a question, yes, ma'am, you can.
Do you work for money or do you work for
the joy and the love of it?

Speaker 2 (26:07):
I think that's hard to answer. I would probably say,
I feel like I more so work for the joy
and love of it, more so than the money.

Speaker 1 (26:20):
Okay, So then why isn't money coming to you? Because
money is money is love. Money is love. Love is
an energy. Money is an energy. Why isn't more of
it coming to you?

Speaker 2 (26:35):
I would say, because of the jobs that I choose, M.

Speaker 1 (26:41):
Why are you choosing those jobs?

Speaker 2 (26:44):
One is a career base, It's what I went to
school for, and I do enjoy it to a point,
but it has not brought me the money that I
thought it would. And then the other one, like I said,
it's just honestly, it's to supplement the extra income that

I would possibly have if I had a partner.

Speaker 1 (27:09):
You got all kinds of stuff attached to your money.
I do. I do, my word, my word, my word.
If you had to give money a color other than green,
what would it be?

Speaker 2 (27:37):
I would probably say, wonder? Either red?

Speaker 1 (27:40):
Red, red hot? Okay, all right, red hot? Money is
red hot? Can't hold on to it?

Speaker 2 (27:51):
Yeah, yeah, I agree with that.

Speaker 1 (27:57):
Yeah, tell me your money story. What did you hear
see learn? What were you told about money growing up?

Speaker 2 (28:06):
Oh? Wow, that's funny. I just had this conversation twenty
minutes ago with a family member. Not much, not much
of a conversation at all. You're supposed to save, But
how can you tell someone to save if you're not
showing them how to save? How can you tell someone
to invest into borlin ks and budget if you wasn't

shown how to do those things.

Speaker 1 (28:33):
So you didn't learn anything. You didn't learn anything about money. Okay, no,
but you did learn that you have to work for it.

Speaker 2 (28:43):
Yeah, pretty much it.

Speaker 1 (28:45):
Yeah, so you don't know who or what money is, right,
So you got to You gotta really start building a
relationship with money. You say you want to partner, we'll
make money your part for right now. You got to
build a relationship with it. Every dollar, every penny. My

grandson found a penny the other day, he said, look,
I found a penny. I said, oh my god, that's
a Nichols little sister. I said, and do you know
who a Nichol's mother is? He said no, I said,
it's a dime. And do you know who a dime's
mother is, I said, a quarter, you know. And I

mean we went all the way up the list till
we got to the dollar, you know. And I was
telling her how money is related. Yeah, and so because
people will find pennies and don't even pick them up,
don't look at it. I pick up a penny when
I find it because I know it's got a sister,
it's got a mama, it's got a daddy. I want
a relationship with the whole Derned family.

Speaker 2 (29:47):
Yeah. Yeah, So you have to build.

Speaker 1 (29:50):
A relationship with money. Did you learn there wasn't enough money?
Did you learn that? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (30:01):
I think I did, just on the fact that my
mom was a single parent of three and all she
did was work. That's through joints, and that was at
minimum wage, you know. So what she got was what
she got, and she did what she had to do
with whatever she got.

Speaker 1 (30:21):
Okay, she worked, but never had enough, never had enough never,
And that's isn't that your story? Yeah? Okay, So you're
live in your mother's story and you got to create
your in your mama's story. You got to create your
own with money. I want to give you an abundance principle.

Let me give you an abundance principle. Okay, okay. I
keep my mind and thoughts off this world, and I
place my entire focus on God within, the source within,

as the only cause of my prosperity. I want to
say that again, hear me. I keep my mind off
this world, off the job, off the working, I keep
my mind off this world, and I place my entire
focus on God's source, creator within as the only cause

of my prosperity. Focus on outside, focus on the inside,
and come current, come current to who you are. You're
good at what you do. You're working in a place

that you love, and it can reward you. Not the thing,
but the way you feel about the thing, not the world,
but the inner cause, the inner cause, what you believe
is possible, what you desire, not what you have. Does

that make sense?

Speaker 2 (32:21):
Yes, it is.

Speaker 1 (32:22):
It is because you're looking at You gotta look in.
You got to look in and stop living your mama's story.
Create another story. And m.

Speaker 2 (32:36):
I say this ironic that you say I'm living my
mom story. I never thought of it in that way.

Speaker 1 (32:41):
She worked and never had enough. You work in two
jobs and still ain't got enough. Yeah, So here's your homework.
I don't care how much money it is. When you
get it, you put ten percent and an interest bare
account that you cannot touch. So if you make your paycheck,

is four hundred and seventy nine dollars, forty seven dollars
and ninety cents goes in that account, you're gonna pay yourself.
Pay yourself first, Pay yourself first, ten percent. If somebody
gives you one hundred dollars, you put ten dollars in
that account. You don't touch it for a year. At

the end of that year, you'll see what you have
ten percent. Every paycheck, every gift, anything you find. You
can do that online. You get your paycheck, you look
at it, you transfer ten percent into account in another bank,
not even in the bank, you bank with it because
I know you're slippery. You'll take that, You're right, I

know I am. Put it in a whole another bank.
Pay yourself first, because you're working and you're not feeling rewarded,
so you will diminish who you are. Money is energy.
Money is the flow. Get in the flow of it.

And if you're constantly working and giving away all that
you make, you're diminishing, not only the flow, but you're
diminishing what you think and feel about yourself. Pay you first.

Speaker 2 (34:29):
Okay, tell me what you're good.

Speaker 1 (34:31):
I mean, tell me what you heard me say. Don't
repeat the words. Tell me what you're hearing me say.

Speaker 2 (34:41):
To take care of myself before I take care of
anything else.

Speaker 1 (34:44):
Yes, yes, So that you're working has value and meaning
to you. Not just you're gonna do what you need
to do. You're gonna pay your bills, You're gonna take
care of the kids. You're gonna You're gonna do that
because you've already done it. You've demonstrated that you can
do that, and now you're just gonna add a little

twist to it. Gonna add a little twist. Right, We're
gonna we're gonna make friends with money. Some of it's
gonna stay with you.

Speaker 2 (35:16):
Right. That's really there's something that I needed to hear.

Speaker 1 (35:22):
Okay, Well, I'm glad that's why you called me. I'm
done with you now bye. Do that, Okay, get online.
I'm opening up an account and another bank ten percent.
I don't care what it is. Twenty dollars, put two
in the bank.

Speaker 2 (35:42):
Right, Okay, I will try that, Yes, ma'am.

Speaker 1 (35:47):
And dismantle your mother's money story. Go back and look
at it, how it made you feel, what you thought about,
what you saw, what you heard, and begin to dismantle
that because that has nothing to do with who you
are now. Nothing, there's nothing with who you are now,
but you're living in Yes. I am okay, I am

all right, my darling. Thank you for calling, and thank
you for your patience. Thank you all righty bye bye.
Some people got to have it, some people really need it,
and they do things, do things, do things, bad things

with it. You know that. Oh, Jay's money, money, money, money,
our relationship with money. Listen, I want to leave you
with this money. N e y my own natural energy yield,
what my energy brings me, what my energy creates for me,

and within me, my own natural energy yield. Money is energy.
As you clean up, clear up, lift up, your energy,
money will flow to you. Money will come to you.
It'll show up for you in a variety of ways.

And please hear me. Job, job, just over broke, just overbroke.
As long as you think that your job is the
source of your money, not your value, not your worth,
not your divinity, not your connection to the source of

all wealth, the unlimited, eternal source of all wealth. As
long as you think your job is your source of money,
you're going to be just overbroke and it'll be dysfunctional.
You want to committed long term relationship with the energy,

the identity, the purpose of money, and that is to
nurture you, to protect you, to help you heal, to
help you grow. Get in the flow of money energy
and you'll be Okay. Well, I hope you heard something

today that you can use in your life. Something you
know now that you didn't know when you tuned in
our relationship with money. Let's clean it up, Let's lift
it up, let's elevate it. Okay, and I'll see you
next time. So in the meantime, stay in peace and
not in peace. R Spot is a production of Shondaland

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