“I WANT TO BE WORSHIPPED”

A caller is intrigued by her new relationship dynamic, a second caller weighs in on the first using his own experience, a caller tries to network for the first time, and a final caller makes a push to improve his social life.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, Hi.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
What is your name?

Speaker 3 (00:02):
Hi? This is Chelsea.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Chelsea. What's up, Chelsea? How's your night going?

Speaker 4 (00:09):
It's good?

Speaker 3 (00:10):
Is this Lyle?

Speaker 2 (00:11):
This is yes? Yes?

Speaker 3 (00:14):
Wow? No way have we spoken before?

Speaker 4 (00:19):
No?

Speaker 3 (00:20):
Never? Well?

Speaker 2 (00:22):
How nice we How nice that we finally get to
get the chat. I'm here, you know what, Chelsea, I'm
gonna let you know right now. I'm nowhere, but here
you have my full, complete, utter attention right now. I mean,
I don't know, I'm I feel I feel very locked

(00:43):
in today, so so let's let's do that. I'm not
even I'm turning all the brightness on my computer down
and I've been looking at the fucking computer.

Speaker 3 (00:53):
Uh on the phone.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
What's up, Chelsea? How you doing?

Speaker 3 (00:59):
I'm good. I'm just I'm hanging out with this cat
that I'm fostering. I just got home from being out
in the city. I also live in New York City.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
What were you doing out? What were you doing out?

Speaker 3 (01:17):
I was meeting up with a friend who we both
like working for each other, but like don't meet up
that often, and we were just like, why don't we
do this? So we we finally did it, and now
we're planning like an October fest you know, outing on partifle.
So we were we were kind of like bonding over

(01:38):
the fact that, like we have all these friends that
are like, let's hang out, and then we never do.
So we're trying to take action on that.

Speaker 2 (01:47):
That's good. Yeah, it's always good to hang out with
your friends, unless if your friends are our serial killers.
I'm m I'm going to try to have a normal conversation.
I don't know why I'm feeling the need to do
to do that. Okay, let me ask you this, Chelsea,
And it's fine if not. We can go in a

(02:08):
million different directions with directions with this. But was there
anything specific that you uh you said You've been listening
to the podcast for a long time, so you've probably
heard all the things. And I'm not saying necessarily that
we have to talk about any depressing things from your life,
unless if you want to. But I am saying that, uh,

(02:29):
you know, you've been listening to the podcast, you kind
of understand, uh, what's up? So I'll ask you if
is there anything in particular that you wanted to dive
into while we're while I'm motherfucking locked in to the
phone right now.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
Well, there was something I thought of so you know
that one caller that was talking about they were like
on their first date in the car.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
I was just thinking of about that today, if you
would believe it?

Speaker 3 (03:03):
Okay, So I listened to that episode, and then I
was listening to the gek Mail episode where they followed
up on that. M Do you remember that?

Speaker 2 (03:13):
How I do?

Speaker 3 (03:15):
She was like, this is what, like, this is my
message to everyone else out there, and like I was
going through it like with just like a weird non
relationship thing, and then that like really inspired me to,
you know, make an effort in like fully putting myself

(03:38):
out there and what I really want, and I think
I found it. And it's like it's weird, like a
plot twist happened, but yeah it's I gained hope from
that and it worked out really well.

Speaker 2 (03:57):
It sounds it was that easy.

Speaker 3 (04:01):
I mean it like not easy, Like it definitely took
like a bunch of trials and errors, and like after
an error, I would go like months or maybe even
like years without trying anything. But then this time I
was just like, Okay, I'm just gonna be honest and
be like, you know, I'm a very emotional, romantic person

(04:26):
and like I don't want to date people that are
super nonchalant about stuff and pretending like we don't like
each other. And then I was like, I guess I
got lucky, or I mean, who knows, maybe this person
is also crazy. You never know, but it's crazy how
when you feel secure in something that you're not like

(04:47):
constantly spiraling and like feeling anxious all the time. Because
I definitely have anxiety over things calm.

Speaker 2 (05:00):
So since you you've found in this secure relationship, you've
been feeling more calm.

Speaker 3 (05:10):
Yeah, And I was. I was telling my sister, like
she lives in California, and I was like, yeah, I
don't really call you as much because normally I'm like
sirling out over something, but now I'm just, you know,
I feel great, so I feel bad.

Speaker 2 (05:30):
How long have you been with this guy for?

Speaker 3 (05:34):
I mean it's only it's only been a month, but
it's been a very promising and consistent month, Like.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
Yeah, this is yeah, this is this is one of
the can I can I ask how old you are?

Speaker 3 (05:49):
I'm thirty two.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
Okay, and you just met this skuy a month ago? Yeah,
and this is the this is the would you say
this is the calmest you've felt in a while.

Speaker 4 (06:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (06:04):
I was even telling him. I was like, I'm normally
I'm normally like really nervous around like guys or people
that I'm meeting up with, and like, I'm strangely calm.

Speaker 2 (06:16):
Are you are you? Do you feel calm in general?

Speaker 3 (06:20):
Yeah, which is kind of crazy because I definitely am, like,
like I have anxiety, I'm being treated for it. But yeah,
it's it's nice, It's very refreshing.

Speaker 2 (06:36):
I think, Yeah, yeah, this is really funny because there's
a lot of there's competing narratives that exist in the world,
each of them possessing their own validities. I promise I'm

(07:02):
going to say something. There's competing narratives in the world,
each of them possessing their own validities. One narrative says
that all you have to do to become happy is
to get what you want, and that's what makes sense.
You know, you want love, and then when you find it,

(07:24):
you feel better. And then there are narratives that go,
you actually need to not want anything, and you have
to be okay with being alone and poor and living
in a tree. And the answer, as I understand it,

(07:53):
lies somewhere between those two places. Right, because I just
it's a weird, bullshit narrative. I think it's a bullshit
narrative that yeah, uh, you know you're supposed to be

(08:15):
totally okay being alone. I think it pisses people off.
But on the flip side is, of course, if your
whole life mission is to uh find someone to make
you not anxious, then there's something weird. It's not a

(08:40):
it's like very not black and white in either direction.
That's just what I don't That's just what's going That's
just what's going through my mind as I'm hearing you
talk about this. What did you see?

Speaker 3 (08:52):
No, I was gonna say, like I saw something where
it's like everyone says that, you know, it takes a
village and everyone needs their village. But nowadays people can't
really deal with being inconvenienced. But that's kind of the
point of like having those people is like you know,

(09:13):
you would go out of your way to make them
feel included. And I think that's like it's something that
I've thought about, you know, when it comes to like
having people in your life, Like, am I getting back
as much as I put in? And I feel like
nowadays people are so quick to write things off as like,

(09:37):
you know, well, I'm not really getting anything in return,
so like I'm just not gonna put any effort into it.
But yeah, uh, it's a give and take, so you
feel calm. Yeah, it's very strange.

Speaker 2 (09:55):
This is the first time you're thirty two. This is
the first time you ever felt.

Speaker 3 (09:58):
Calm, I mean relationship wise. Yeah, it's like I haven't
had much experience in adult relationships, but yeah, it feels nice.

Speaker 4 (10:16):
Mm hm hm hmm.

Speaker 2 (10:22):
That's good.

Speaker 3 (10:24):
Yeah. I was gonna say, but I got into your
podcast because I used to go on long walks and
just like listen to your podcast whenever I would be
like crashing out over something, and it really helps to,
you know, just listen to other people's stories and perspective.

(10:46):
And I would recommend it to my friends whenever they're
going through something. I would be like, I go on
these things called email walks, and I would just put
on my headphones and walk around the city and listen
to a podcast. That way, I'm not like thinking about
my own situations.

Speaker 2 (11:02):
I'm I'm I'm happy to be uh an accompaniment of
your emo walk. I treat I'm honored dear that hmm.

Speaker 5 (11:17):
Hmmm.

Speaker 2 (11:18):
So this is the so after many years, you're like, Okay,
let me finally really try to put myself out there.

Speaker 3 (11:30):
And yeah, and I think what really also clicked was
like being honest with myself and like it's okay that
I'm I feel like I'm needy in relationships and you know,
now I've learned, like you know, you'll find some You'll
find someone that is okay with that. Because this guy

(11:53):
was like, I want to worship you, and you know,
I want to be with you. And he was very
you know, vocal about he said.

Speaker 2 (12:04):
He said he wanted to worship you.

Speaker 3 (12:07):
Yeah, and then I told him, I was like, I
think that's like my thing, I think, and that's I
think that's a thing that people have, your.

Speaker 2 (12:16):
Your your your thing is that you want to be worshiped.

Speaker 3 (12:20):
Yes, and yeah. We had a whole conversation about it,
and she's on board.

Speaker 2 (12:31):
Wow. Interesting, what is that? What does that mean to
you to be worshiped?

Speaker 3 (12:44):
I mean like so far, it's just like it's the attentiveness.
You know, he'll text me every night and every morning
like good morning, beautiful, Chelsea, good night beautiful Chelsea. It's
very it's very sweet and romantic and yeah, I feel

(13:04):
like I have this full attention a lot of times,
which is great.

Speaker 2 (13:08):
See how older or younger?

Speaker 3 (13:11):
He's two years younger. But I'm a I am a
benevolent goddess, not malevolent.

Speaker 2 (13:20):
Mm hmmmm okay, okay, does that worry you at all?
Like do you risk? Can you have respect for someone
who blindly worships you?

Speaker 1 (13:36):
I mean.

Speaker 3 (13:38):
I do in a sense of like we we really
had a connection before this conversation came up, and you know,
we were both like, is it love bombing if we're
both on board with it and into it? I don't know,
but no, I I think I respect it because to me,

(14:03):
I feel like a man who can lean into his
romantic side. Like I like that because I've dated guys
before where like they won't even hold my hand, and
I'm just like, what's the point, Like do you even
like me?

Speaker 2 (14:17):
You know guys who won't hold your fucking hand?

Speaker 3 (14:22):
Yeah? No, these exist, They're out there.

Speaker 2 (14:26):
And crazy.

Speaker 3 (14:28):
Yeah, so I don't know, Like growing up, I would
be like eupda, But now that I'm in a relationship,
I'm like, no, I like PDA, like to to a
reasonable extent, But it's I feel like it's just been
a process of like being honest with myself and like, no,

(14:49):
I like feeling this way or I like these things,
and it's okay, how did you How did.

Speaker 2 (14:56):
You meet this this gentlemen?

Speaker 3 (15:02):
I met him on Hinge? I had the app for like,
I've downloaded it and deleted it many a time, and
this time I redownloaded it and it was about like
a weekend and he seemed nice.

Speaker 2 (15:22):
Mm hmmmm, that's really nice. It sounds uh, this sounds good.
This sounds like a good thing. Maybe probably probably probably
it's probably a good thing.

Speaker 3 (15:39):
Yeah yeah, I mean it gives you hopefully optimistic.

Speaker 2 (15:44):
Yeah yeah, I mean.

Speaker 3 (15:46):
Uh, pautiously optimistic good things.

Speaker 2 (15:51):
Happening in your life is good? Yeah, yes, right, right right.
I don't know where. I don't know where I came.
I'm sorry, I hope. I feel like this is connected
to what you're saying. At least in my brain it is.
But I think I somewhere along the line fell into

(16:14):
some stoic ideation that you know, you should enjoy life
however it is. But and there's truth to this, truth
to that, but also uh, falsehood to it. I think, Yeah,
be careful. I guess I don't know.

Speaker 3 (16:37):
Yeah, no, I'm definitely like I feel like I've had
enough experiences dabbling in relationships and like I yeah, I'm
seeing green green flags.

Speaker 2 (16:50):
Good good. Chelsea. There's a whole neighborhood in New York
called Chelsea.

Speaker 3 (16:58):
I know I work in that neighborhood. I have to
really like close my ears all the time.

Speaker 2 (17:03):
Chelsea and Chelsea. Yeah, mm hmmm, well what now it's Chelsea? Yeah,
before we go? What now?

Speaker 4 (17:16):
What's?

Speaker 2 (17:17):
Uh? What now?

Speaker 5 (17:20):
What now?

Speaker 2 (17:20):
Chelsea?

Speaker 3 (17:22):
I think we just have to be honest with ourselves
in what we want and at the same time, you know,
be cautious, but don't stop yourself from putting yourself out there,
you know, Yollo.

Speaker 2 (17:43):
Is there anything else you want to say to the
people of the computer before we go? Chelsea?

Speaker 3 (17:51):
Yes, I've thought about this. Get a bidet if you
don't have one.

Speaker 2 (17:57):
We need a bidet sponsor. I'm dying to get a
good day. Man. I hate my asshole is always changing
covered in diarrhea. I'm trying to get a good day.

Speaker 3 (18:09):
Yeah, it'll change your life. It's a great feeling.

Speaker 2 (18:12):
Thank you, Chelsea. You have a good rest of the night.

Speaker 3 (18:16):
Bye. Thank you.

Speaker 4 (18:21):
Hello, what's up?

Speaker 2 (18:22):
Man?

Speaker 4 (18:24):
Hey? What's up?

Speaker 2 (18:25):
What's your name?

Speaker 4 (18:28):
Not much, man, I just wanted to see you. Know, No,
I feel like no one ever hass how you're doing?
How are you doing, buddy?

Speaker 2 (18:34):
How am I doing?

Speaker 4 (18:36):
Yes, sir?

Speaker 2 (18:40):
My honest answer is that I actually I don't really
want to talk about how I'm doing, to be honest,
but I want to talk about how you're doing. You
texted me? Can I tell? You texted me? And you
said Chelsea was kind of crazy, a lot of red
flags in her and that relationship. And yeah, I don't

(19:04):
know if I necessarily agree, but I would love to
have the conversation as to why you believe that.

Speaker 4 (19:15):
I just feel like a month in and wanting to
be worshiped is kind of something I wouldn't necessarily think
is the most healthy thing. M Being in a situation
that I have been in before, where you know, you
get a little bit obsessed about someone, not necessarily obsessed,

(19:42):
but really enthralled with it can lead to some really
hard times.

Speaker 2 (19:50):
Tell Okay, it sounds like you're speaking from some form
of personal experience. Do you do you care to share?

Speaker 4 (19:59):
Uh? Yeah, So basically, it just you know, you get
you get really attached to someone, and then when things
aren't always ideal, you know, health issues, things of that
nature start to occur. A lot of hardship happens. And
when someone grows accustomed to being quote unquote worshiped, it

(20:24):
tends to lead to a lot of troubled times when
you know you can't you can't do that for them,
when you need to try and focus on yourself, If
that makes any sense. Yes, and so I'm worried that,
you know, and I mean no disrespector but it's just

(20:45):
it can lead to a lot of really hard times
down the road when that's what your relationship is kind
of become and almost based on, and it no longer is.

Speaker 2 (20:59):
Yeah, I see what you mean. I see what you mean,
because something can start off with a dynamic of I
want to worship you, and then you can debate as
to how uh fuck you can debate as to how

(21:23):
sustainable that dynamic is. Yes, I agree, exactly, I agree exactly.
I agree, And that.

Speaker 4 (21:30):
Can lead to a lot of really really tough decisions
and hard times, you know, a little bit farther down
the road. Not necessarily saying that it will always happen,
but it definitely can, and most times it leads to
really tough decisions that are later in life. I mean,

(21:51):
I know that she was in her early thirties, so
you know, if it happens when you're forty, these things
can become even more like stating how old are you, sir,
I'm thirty one.

Speaker 2 (22:07):
Did you have a woman in your life once you
you worshiped.

Speaker 4 (22:15):
I wouldn't say worshiped, but it was like a heavy codependency.

Speaker 2 (22:19):
Sure, yeah yeah, or that want or or that wanted
you to worship her.

Speaker 4 (22:27):
Innocent. Yeah, like a big sense of not like what
you do for me, but always expecting me to, you know,
be the provider of financial or emotional or mental help.

Speaker 2 (22:44):
Yeah, it's funny, I I I've had my own experience
with something like this, and it was hard to gauge
because I actually I enjoy I enjoyed it. I'd lie
if I say if I said I didn't enjoy it,

(23:05):
because I liked I liked the idea of providing, and
I liked it. It made me super happy too to
do things for this person and.

Speaker 4 (23:15):
To exactly that feeling of being needed is always it's fulfilling.

Speaker 2 (23:21):
It's the best, it's the best. I mean, yeah, I
was thinking of today there was this I went to
like pick up a like a shirt for for for
this lady late at night, and she was like, you're
my hero. And I was like, Oh, that's the best
feeling in the world, you know. Yeah, but I and

(23:45):
so there's actually you know, I I know, I know
from the guy's perspective as to why that feels so good,
then why that you know, even though I guess it
doesn't on paper sound like a good arrangement, but it
can feel really amazing to you know, feel needed, to

(24:08):
feel like you're really taking care of somebody else and whatnot.
But I also, again from that perspective, understand why that
can be unsustainable over over a long period of time. Yes,
I don't think that that's a Yeah, people change and

(24:31):
feelings change in situations changed, and I can see why. Yeah,
it's not I think it can be an element of
a relationship, but if it's the basis of it, it can. Yeah,

(24:54):
it can lead to to to resentments and all these
other things. But it's enticing, and it's enticing on both sides.
It's enticing for the for the woman who is you know,
getting that kind of treatment. It's enticing for the man
who uh is enthralled by his opportunity to provide that

(25:19):
kind of treatments. You know, some people some people make it.
Some people fucking make it work. Some people really are
just like, everyone has different modest operendis I think I'm saying.
Is am I saying that? Hold on, I'm gonna completely
interrupt discovercy? Is it modus operendi? Okay, all right, I

(25:41):
got it right. Some people have different em os and
for someone, their mo might be I want to fucking
like that's their thing, Like that's their addiction, like like
like it's actually kind of funny and and works, and
honestly is probably the basis of like inherent human biology.

(26:02):
That It's like there are a lot of there are
a lot of women out there who are like I
just want I want to be taken care of. I
want to be a princess, I want to be worship
That's like the thing that I want. And there are
guys out there, and then and then for every one
of those women, there's a guy out there who's like,

(26:22):
I want to just give all of my money to someone,
just have all of my money, have all of my
money and look at me sometimes and that would make
me so so happy. And I don't know, I don't
think any of I don't I place no moral value

(26:47):
judgment on either of those emos. But yeah, they coexist. Yeah,
and I'm sure there's fucking long term relationship will however,
long term ish relationships that operate that way. But they

(27:11):
have kinks, for sure, what you're saying, they have kinks.

Speaker 4 (27:16):
Yeah, really sput on advice with being cautious. It can
be a little bit dangerous when it's you know, a
month in right and that's going on, especially like not
saying that Chelsea is or any by any means, but
if somebody could be emotionally unstable and then having this dynamic,

(27:39):
it could turn into something very toxic and really hurtful.

Speaker 2 (27:44):
Dan h Yeah, I see what you man, and I
appreciate you going at this from a logical perspective, because, yeah,
the emotional roller coaster is kind of running high. But
for Chelsea as someone and I don't know if I
dove too deep into it with her, but as somebody

(28:05):
who you know, I get it if she's been so
anxious for so long to be like I mean, at
thirty two to fucking just be like, why do I
just have to find something that kind of works? And
for like a month you have a thing where you're like,
oh my god, am I I did. I didn't know

(28:29):
it was physically possible to feel peaceful. It's a crazy
moment if you're and I get it, if you're a
person who's been like in a in a in an
anxious spiral for their entire life, thirty two years, this
so long time to find it's it's it's it's so

(28:49):
so exciting, this idea that you might be relieved of
this fucking burden. But it comes back. You know, it
comes back. It doesn't leave, It doesn't.

Speaker 1 (29:09):
Leave you.

Speaker 2 (29:11):
Yeah, you come back down to ground. Imagine and you
might it might be a kind of a two steps forward,
one step back kind of a coming back. But you
got to be wary because I've experienced this multiple times
in my life where yeah, you enter a new relationship
or you think of you have just a new lease

(29:35):
on something external to yourself or fucking internal to yourself,
gives you a new lease on life, and then you're like, oh,
this is great. Everything's gonna be amazing forever. I fucking
finally figured it out. Oh my god. They all told

(29:56):
me I couldn't, but I did it. I found a
man to worship me. I found a woman to worship.
I'm so calm, I'm so happy. Everything's great, and it's
gonna be like this forever. Let's get married, let's have
three kids, have all my money, joint bank accounts, vegas,

(30:19):
shotgun wedding. Everything is gonna be great because of course,
And why would you not do that? Why would you
not if you've been going insane for thirty two years?
This is nothing. I'm not not pointed at Chelsea by
the way. This is actually just uh, I'm drawing this general.
I'm drawing this general and from you know, my own life,

(30:40):
and you know, just knowing whatever I know about the
human condition is of course not of course, yeah, of
course you get if you have finally you find something
that gives you some sort of relief, you're gonna be
drawn to it like it like it's like it's oxygen.
So of course, And I don't blame anyway if you're like,

(31:03):
if you get like the kid, the people who are like, yeah,
I met my uh, I met this lady at a
bar and we got married in two weeks afterwards. That's
not a weird story to me. There used to be
a weird story to me, And now it makes perfect sense.
Oh yeah, I don't know if it makes perfect sense. Yeah,
I don't even know if it makes perfect sense in

(31:24):
terms of this is a logistically good decision, but it
makes perfect sense as to why people are driven to
do that. It's perfect sense. You know.

Speaker 4 (31:34):
Sometimes it just you know, it could just take that
one spark to you know, change something different in that
person's life, which could lead to a better life for
that person individually as well.

Speaker 2 (31:44):
Yeah, and I also I used to think it was
like stupid, but I sometimes it just you can you
can connect with the person if you really motherfucking connect
with a person, especially if you're like weird and you
don't connect with a lot of people and you finally
find someone you do kind of connect with, it's like, yeah,
I could get while you're like, well, fuck, let's go

(32:04):
all in. You know, when the fuck I've never felt
this way before, Let's keep going. But it also has
the potential to leave you high and dry. But you
know what else has the potential to leave you high
and dry? I mean, remember the lady a few episodes
ago who got divorced. She did everything right. That was
her whole thing. She did everything right. She dated for

(32:28):
like she lived. She got married the way that like
my fucking parents did, in a way where they date
for a while, like the normal shit. You date for
a while, and then do you decide maturely, on a mature,
regular adult timeline to have children and to get married
and to do all these things, and then she then

(32:48):
you get left high and dry fucking doing it that way, right,
So no matter how you do it, no matter how
you do it, you risk being thrown in a dumpster.
So you know what I'm saying, Am I making any sense?

Speaker 4 (33:12):
You absolutely are. I think you're speaking perfectly to be home,
because I mean it could it could happen anyway, and
whatever works for you works for you. But there is
always that risk. So whatever works for you, you just
gotta go with what you feel.

Speaker 2 (33:28):
There's all the times where like a fucking like some
you know, this is one of the ways in which
I think I've matured, is like I I've been going
back and like because I there's like there's like calls
from like there's a bunch of calls from like twenty

(33:49):
twenty two that I recorded and never did anything with,
and I'm going back and putting them on the Patreon
and I'm like listening to some of them and I'm like,
in the like three years ago, if someone called me
and they're like, I'm eighteen and I'm getting married to
my other eighteen year old girlfriend, I'd be like, and

(34:11):
I still think I'm a little bit right, but I'd
be like, this is so, this is really stupid and
you shouldn't do this. It's not gonna work. And I
would be very, i think, convinced about that. But the
older I get, the more I realized I don't know

(34:32):
any everything's beyond me. And there's been plenty of I'm
sure relationships like that that crash and burn because of
the obvious reasons why they might crash and burn, but
then plenty that just keep going, you know. I Mean,
we had that guy on the podcast. He's thirty two,
been with the same lady since he was fucking sixteen,

(34:54):
So like, it's not a one size fits all solution. Well,
I'm gonna stop talking in generalities. What's your name.

Speaker 4 (35:02):
My name is Brandon.

Speaker 2 (35:03):
How's your love life going? Brandon?

Speaker 4 (35:06):
Right, now I'm single, very cautiously.

Speaker 2 (35:09):
Single, cautiously single. You're thirty one, Yes, sir? What is
cautiously single? Man? What's the difference between single and cautiously single?

Speaker 4 (35:18):
Well, when I was younger, you know, I just go
out have a good time, didn't really care about what
would have happen. You know, sometimes you meet a girl
and things just turn into situationship, relationship, whatever it may be.
But as you go on, you really have to start
putting things in perspective and realizing, like you know, sometimes

(35:40):
one good night is a good night, but you got
you gotta really focus on what what the goals are
in your life and who can match those and what
what's suitable for you?

Speaker 2 (35:53):
Yeah, that's true. What what did you get put through
the ringer.

Speaker 4 (35:58):
A little bit? Yeah, it was just a lot of
ups and downs, moviescarriage, all different sorts of financial struggles,
mental struggles. So now it's just kind of like you know, you,
I'm really focused on. Timing isn't really my issue. It's
more of hitting hitting the target where I need to,

(36:21):
If that makes any sense.

Speaker 2 (36:22):
I explain a little more hitting the target when you
need to.

Speaker 4 (36:28):
Like my goals, who I want in my life that
can help me achieve those goals. Who has goals themselves
that I can help them achieve. Work as a as
a team, not necessarily individuals, but you know, individually a
team if that makes any sense, where we can both
succeed and try and just build something together that's more

(36:52):
than just the initial feeling of oh my gosh, this
person is so great, I want to be with this person,
and more of like, all right, let's let's take things
real slow and see, you know how how are we
going to be feeling about this and in a month,
six months, a year, like, are we still on the
same page, same wavelength? Is everything working out? Things of

(37:16):
that nature.

Speaker 2 (37:19):
M I still believe. I think I'm holding on hope
where I'm like, I'm gonna find someone and it's it's
just gonna be easy, you know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (37:28):
I don't know, Oh yeah, that would be the goal.
But and that's why when you go through some really
hard hardships and tough relationships sometimes maybe I'm just a
little jaded, but sometimes I have to really slow down
and not just get caught up and wrapped up in
the emotion.

Speaker 2 (37:47):
I've met people in a personal life and on the
show and then whatever where they're like, uh, some people,
some people that is easy. I think some people that
is just easy. And then other people, Uh, yeah, they're
a little they're a little more jaded about it. You
know that a lot of that ship, I feel like
depends on the luck of the draw of your own

(38:07):
personal experiences and whatever hand you got adults, as as
who you are.

Speaker 4 (38:14):
Exactly.

Speaker 2 (38:15):
But I appreciate this sentiment, this was I appreciate your counterpoints.

Speaker 4 (38:21):
Yeah, and it and it's it's nothing against Chelsea, like
I don't think it is. Things work out for her,
and even if they don't, I mean, there's always time.
There's what eight billion people on the Earth. There's there's
plenty of time, people, So you just gotta find what's
good for you.

Speaker 2 (38:38):
You know. I don't like the whole there's eight billion
people on Earth thing, because I mean some of them
are children, so that that you know, hopefully that hopefully
there that takes them out, hopefully they're not on the
So there's that. And then several billion of them only

(39:02):
speak Chinese, uh, which is fine, weill is fine if
you speak Chinese, but it probably difficult if you don't,
so uh. And then another few billion of them only
speak uh what, Spanish maybe and if you'll if you
don't speak Spanish, that you're fucked on that. So this,

(39:23):
I don't think there's really a there's not eight brilliant
you don't have a billion. And then and then also
a lot of those billion people are just way hotter
than you and don't they would never consider being with you,
so you gotta So I'm gonna say there's probably and
then not also a lot of the I'm not done.
And then also a lot of them live in places

(39:45):
that you'll know some of them is some of those
a billion people live in Macedonia. So I think the
saying should really be that it's also a lot of
them are men or women, which I don't know if
you're gay or straight or whatever. But if you're not
that white out four billion people, uh so you probably

(40:06):
at least I think the more realistic way of saying
that is there's probably at least just four or five
other people who are willing to go on a date
with you the next two years, maybe more than that
if you're you know, if you if you get ripped.

Speaker 4 (40:26):
Yeah, there's there's definitely variables. I agree with you on that.

Speaker 2 (40:30):
Yeah, but what's your name again, Brandon? Brandon? I appreciate you, Brandon.
Is there anything else you want to say to the
people of the computer before we go, No, sir, just.

Speaker 4 (40:41):
I hope you all get the help that you need
from therapy get go, and I hope therapy Gecko is
doing good himself.

Speaker 2 (40:47):
I'm trying my best, man. I appreciate you asking. I'll
see you around the universe.

Speaker 4 (40:52):
All right. Bye?

Speaker 2 (40:53):
That was Brandon. Eight billion people on the Earth. I
don't know. This is probably more than that now, but again,
it's like how many. I think there's websites that you
can go to where you can put in like what
you're looking for in a partner, and it narrows it down.

(41:15):
It's way, it's so much less than eight billion, you know. Anyway,
I just you know, I'm saying all this stuff to,
you know, make all you guys feel more optimistic. Do
do Do Do Do Do Do Do. Hi wile yes, Hi?

(41:38):
Who Who to whom am I speaking?

Speaker 3 (41:41):
Hi?

Speaker 5 (41:41):
This is Angie, Angie.

Speaker 2 (41:43):
What's up, Angie? How's life going?

Speaker 4 (41:44):
Yes?

Speaker 5 (41:46):
Life is a fabulous I am currently in New York
City with a few co workers working at Music festival
this weekend and just kind of trying not to let
my social anxiety get in the way of a great
opportunity because I'm kind of like sitting at tables with

(42:09):
directors and you know, like managers and supervisors, which is
the first time I've gotten to sit with them and
talk to them and get one on one time with them.
So I'm really just trying to put myself out there.
But I flew in today. I left this morning at

(42:30):
about six am, and now I'm here. I had some pizza,
it was really good. This is my first time in New.

Speaker 3 (42:36):
York City as well.

Speaker 5 (42:38):
And we were walking to this rooftop bar and it
shid ton of rats just came and ran across us
and scared the shit out of me.

Speaker 2 (42:47):
There's a lot of rats.

Speaker 3 (42:49):
I was like, what the hill I was in.

Speaker 5 (42:51):
I came from Phoenix, and obviously I don't just see
rats scaring around anywhere, so it was pretty crazy. I
definitely helped and clenched onto somebody next to me because
that was a whole new experience for me because it
was not only one, it.

Speaker 3 (43:05):
Was like seven of them.

Speaker 2 (43:08):
So, what's this music festival happening this weekend?

Speaker 5 (43:13):
So it's John Summit's music festival. It's called Experts Only.
It's going to be at Randall's Island. I have yet
to look at the site yet, and then to go
there tomorrow morning and get everything set up and kind
of get my areas set up as well and view
the site and stuff. So that's pretty exciting. I worked

(43:33):
for I do festivals in Phoenix, Arizona, and they're doing
this event as well in New York. So they asked
me to join, and my first time traveling with work
for this, so I was ecstatic. I was so like
super excited, super happy and trying to make my way
in the industry and kind of dabbling in a different

(43:55):
areas and things to figure out what exactly I want
to do and network. But I'm just I know the
industry is a lot of networking and talking to people,
but that's not my forte. I really have to just
like okay, just say something, like talk about something, bring
something up or instead of just like wasting you know,

(44:18):
an opportunity that I have with the side op directors
and the directors of the festival and marketing directors, so
I can, you know, so they at least know who
I am, but I just have I guess, social anxiety anyway.
So I think I was really just overthinking the strips
the entire time up until I was leading with it.

(44:42):
But now I'm here and I'm really just trying to,
you know, make conversation. And I kind of like go
back to you when you do you like your email
getts and You're like, I'm just going to sit here
and challenge myself and just continuously like talk and talk
and talk for the next sixteen minutes or whatever you
do on your emails. So I've been doing my best

(45:06):
and just you know, trying to stay out of my
head of trying to be like overthinking everything like oh
did I say something stupid, did I not say something correctly?
Or because I always overthink it and I come back
to it fucking at two o'clock in the morning, I'm like, God,
damn it, I didn't say X Y and Z or
I should have said X, Y and Z and it

(45:27):
didn't happen the way I thought it should happen. So
just kind of put myself out there, and you know,
I've been with the company for three years and I
feel really honored and really blessed that my manager thought
about me and decided to send me here. And now
I'm here. So just we're at this rooftop pop bar,

(45:48):
which is really cool. We walked through a semi sketchy neighborhood,
but I think that's the part of it. And now
we're at this cool rooftop bar.

Speaker 2 (45:57):
You're at the rooftop bar right now.

Speaker 5 (46:00):
I came downstairs.

Speaker 2 (46:01):
I okay, okay, then I'll then, I'll, I will, I will,
I will make our conversation brief so that you may
continue to to network. I'll say this, I'll say this.
I Well, good on you, because a lot of people, uh,
they're they just won't even fucking try to overcome their

(46:26):
anxiety and doing things. But you're in a you're in
a cool spot. I appreciate you because you're you know,
going after it anyway. Uh and also, by the way,
you know you're good. You're totally gonna say stupid things
that don't make sense. That's like an inherent thing. And
I do this. I I lately. I'm I'm on a

(46:47):
big kick of you know what, if I said something
that was stupid, maybe I did, Maybe I'm insane, you
know what. That's how that's how I go into it. Now,
that's what we do. You know, if I if I say,
if I was weird, if I was, I don't know,
why do why do I have to be perfect? Maybe

(47:10):
I'm a little insane, and maybe that's fine if I'm not.
If I'm not fucking perfect, you know, so uh, I mean,
you try your best to throw yourself out there and
communicate with other human beings, but it's never I have
those interactions all the time where I'm like, that was
a little weird. But you know, here's that. I'm gonna

(47:33):
get existential for a second, and I know, but it
applies to all of everything. You know, nobody, you don't
really colloquially you not you specifically, but colloquially you don't
matter that much to people, which is good, right, it's good.
So nobody even if the thing that you think people

(47:54):
are like, oh that was a little weird, they're not.
They don't even care, you know, unless if you're being
a dick. That's the only thing you can be like.
You can be kind of awkward, you can bet you can't.
You can be a little annoying, you can be kind
of awkward, and as long as you're not like an asshole.
No one really cares. That's why I hate television and movies.

(48:18):
I know that's such a broad thing to hate, and
this is a stupid thing to say, but I hate
we you know what it is. We've watched I'm gonna
this is such an old man ran. We've watched so
many movies and TV shows where every thing that everyone
says makes sense. That's where I like doing this podcast
is sometimes it's awkward. Sometimes we talk over each other

(48:39):
or someone calls and it's a little awkward or I'm
a little awkward. I'm saying things that don't make sense,
and it's that's good. I think there should be more. Uh,
we've we've we've modeled our ideas of what a conversation
should be like over like this kind of perfected version
of it instead of just accepting that we live in

(49:01):
a stupid, weird world. So, you know, all this to say,
you're you're You're fine, You're uh, you're going after it.
You know, you you don't have you don't have to
be you don't have to make a hundred percent success
not success sense. You don't have to make one hundred
percent sense as long as you're just existing positively, you know,

(49:22):
because that's what most people I think care about is
you know, you're uh, You're you're easy. You know, you're
easy to be around. You're excited, excited to be alive.
You're not a dick or a bummer. So whatever you
say something it doesn't make sense, or a joke that
is stupid, you know who cares it gives a shit?

Speaker 5 (49:42):
So uh yeah, And I'm just trying to put myself,
you know, there for so just so that you know,
the company knows that I value, you know, being a
part in the music industry and it's something I'm passionate
about and it's something i really want to branch out too.
So I'm just like trying to just make conversation and like,

(50:06):
you know, ask about how they got there or like
internships or just talking about the day or like shooting
shooting the ship, so that you know that I'm there
as not only a colleague and you know, but as
a friend as well. And so I'm trying. I'm You're right,
I just have to, you know, just go in it positively.
And and I think that's what I've been doing. And

(50:27):
I'm like I've shown that that I'm super excited to
be here. And I'm really enthusiastic about being here too, because.

Speaker 3 (50:34):
I mean, what the fuck they sent.

Speaker 5 (50:35):
Me to New York, you know, like that's crazy. I've
never been here and this is my first time like
flying out.

Speaker 2 (50:41):
What do you.

Speaker 3 (50:44):
Have?

Speaker 2 (50:44):
You spent much time outside of Phoenix.

Speaker 5 (50:48):
Yeah, I've gone to like Mexico, I've gone to like
different states and stuff. I think the biggest city I've
been to is Chicago. But I mean, I've never been
to New York. So it's also a cool experience for me.
And in my downtime, I'm hoping it can check out
Central Park, so I'm gonna see my first subway experience,

(51:09):
which is gonna be cool. I had some pizza walking
down the street, saw some rats. Now I'm at a
rooftop bar with my amazing, beautiful, lovely coworkers that I
get to hang out for what's for the week. It
is really nice and I.

Speaker 2 (51:25):
Really just sorry, go ahead, go ahead, And I'm.

Speaker 5 (51:29):
Really just trying to remember that and and you know,
be blessed for where I'm at and not let my
stupid fucking social anxiety or you know, my weird awkwardness
that I think I have doesn't get in a way
because like you said, it's not that deep, you know,
like no, so people aren't gonna perceive it that way.

(51:49):
It's just myself that's perceiving it that way. And I
think that's what I'm I'm just working at so I.

Speaker 2 (51:57):
Do, you know, I it's yeah, the more uh yeah,
you know, it's funny. Things are really about perspective, right
because uh yeah, New York is now just like uh,
like riding the subway. I do it every day, you know,
but I forgot it's like a thing, you know, or

(52:17):
like a lot of weird shit that you do. You
forget is like a thing you know.

Speaker 5 (52:22):
Right because you do it so often.

Speaker 2 (52:25):
Well, listen, Angie. I don't want to keep you waiting
from your friends. I think you should go up and
enjoy that that rooftop bar. But I'm glad that you
called and uh checked in. I'm glad. I you know.
Just remember you can be say whatever you want, no
no one cares. I mean, I maybe that might be
terrible advice, but I I feel it in my heart.

Speaker 5 (52:47):
Is there anything to just say things? Just just talk?

Speaker 3 (52:51):
You know?

Speaker 5 (52:51):
I feel like I have important things to say. Some
might not be important for it. But you know, I
always I'm conversating.

Speaker 2 (52:57):
Is there anything else you want to say to the
people of the computer but before we go, No, that
is it.

Speaker 5 (53:02):
Thank you so much. I really appreciate it, and I
love you so much.

Speaker 2 (53:05):
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Good luck
with the good luck with John Summitt. I heard he's
I heard he's heard he I heard he makes music.

Speaker 3 (53:13):
Yes, he does make music.

Speaker 5 (53:14):
A lot of people pop music.

Speaker 2 (53:16):
Bye, Angie, have a good night.

Speaker 5 (53:17):
Thanks by bank.

Speaker 2 (53:20):
John Summitt. Uh who is I'm going to look him up?
John Summitt, John Summit, it's not John's. Oh look at
this guy. This is like a little This is a
little guy. He's a guy. He makes music. He plays
the what does he play? He plays dance music. He

(53:43):
was born in Naperville, Illinois, thirty one years old. What
a life? Isn't that crazy? Isn't that? I don't ever
thinking a lot about all the uh lives you could live?
Think about it? One, how many people have ever been born?

(54:03):
Hold on? This is where this is what we're doing tonight.
Hold on? How many? This is? How many people have
ever been born? Okay, one hundred and twenty billion? Human
beings are estimated to have been born in all of history.
And if and if you're lucky, you get to be
and if you're the lucky one of one hundred and

(54:25):
twenty billion, you get to be John's summit. Look at
this guy. We uh he performed at Coachella. This guy.
Or you could be addicted to methamphetamine. John Summitt might
be addicted to methamphetamine. We don't know him that well.

(54:48):
It could be. You could live in uh Waterloo, Iowa
and work at a bank. You could be. You could
live in in Venezuela on like a farm. You could

(55:09):
just be. You could be an old Venezuelan man. You
could be John Summitt. You could. There's so many people,
there's so many people you can be, well, not really,
you could you really you only get to be one.
You only get to be one person. But there's so
many people that there that are being that one person

(55:30):
is a lot. Good for John Summitt. I hope, uh,
I hope, yes, I hope he has sex today. Thank
you for calling Angie. Hello, Hye, how's it going?

Speaker 1 (55:46):
You know better now than I'm talking to you. Actually,
I really can't believe I'm on the phone with you
right now. I was not expecting this.

Speaker 2 (55:54):
Have we ever spoken before?

Speaker 4 (55:58):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (55:58):
No, no, we have not, sweet kick ass. What's your name?

Speaker 3 (56:04):
Man?

Speaker 1 (56:06):
Uh well, my name isn't Kevin, but let's we'll go
with Kevin.

Speaker 2 (56:11):
Okay, Kevin. You sent me a text. You said I
have little faith in your advice on making friends and
finding community, even though you're probably right. So I want
to do so. I want to take this message you
sent me, and I want to do a few things.
One is I want to get an idea of because

(56:34):
I say a lot of things and then I forget
what they are because I'm because I have dementia. And
so first what First tell me what your understanding of
my advice on how to make friends is, and then
tell me why you have a little faith in it?
And okay, I'm not saying And I want and I

(56:56):
want you to be fucking honest with me. I don't
want this is I if you think I want you
to notice for if you think you'll offend me, I
mean this with my soul. Is if you think you'll
offend me by disagreeing with me, you'll offend me so
much more by lying to me about your true feelings

(57:18):
about what I saw, so.

Speaker 1 (57:20):
So I would never I would never lie to you.

Speaker 2 (57:23):
Okay, I mean I believe I'm you know what I'm choosing.
I'm trusting you that you want. I'm trusting you that
you want. So tell me why you have a little
faith in this.

Speaker 1 (57:33):
Well, it might be hard for me to describe. It's
more just a gut feeling, but I guess I'll start with, uh,
what my impression of your advice on the topic is,
which is you know, it seems like I've heard you
express this multiple times to different people, but you usually

(57:53):
say something along the lines of like just going out
there and you know, finding a group that is centered
around like a hobby or interest you have and inserting
yourself in it and continuously going to it, even if
it's awkward and weird the first few times. And if

(58:14):
there isn't a group like that, then creating it yourself.
And you know, that sounds like it would probably work.
But you know, I've been trying that myself. Granted it
hasn't been very long, but I just it just really

(58:40):
feels like it's not going to go anywhere. And I
just started university and I really don't have any friends
or I do, but not where I'm living. And I
feel very lonely, very frequently. And you know, I've tried
going to multiple clubs because you know, university is a

(59:03):
great place to join these types of groups you're talking about,
but it's I don't know, it's so hard to talk
to people even when you're at these clubs, and I
always just go home from them, walking by myself as
always and just feeling like I didn't make any real connections.

Speaker 2 (59:29):
Okay, how old are you? Nineteen? I'm eighteen, you're eighteen? Okay,
all right. I have a lot of questions. Did you
have friends when you were in high school?

Speaker 4 (59:42):
I did.

Speaker 1 (59:43):
I have very good friends. I'm still friends with them.

Speaker 2 (59:46):
Oh great, buddy, Sorry, I have more questions. I have
more questions for you before I I have more questions
for you. But brother, it's September as a recording this,
that is September eighteenth, I know, which means which means
that you have been at school for less than a month.

Speaker 1 (01:00:10):
Correct, Yes, no, I know.

Speaker 2 (01:00:15):
Okay, Okay, let me tell you. I have more questions
for you. But let me tell you something I went
to almost hold of I what year is it? Where
do I live. September of twenty sixteen, I started going

(01:00:36):
to college at Temple University in Philadelphia. I've probably talked
about this a lot before, but I'll do it again.
And God, I hated. I hated those first UH. Hated
that first year. I had struggled a lot that first year,

(01:01:00):
feeling weird, fucking I didn't connect with any of these
fucking people that I was trying to connect with. I
tried to join a I tried to join a frat.
I remember being at a frat party once and like
trying to get a bartender's attention and just like standing
there with a cup at this frat party, being like

(01:01:21):
this is what, just feeling horrible, just feeling like I
didn't matter, and I was a I'm in this thing
that nobody gives it shit that I'm there, and I'm
just I just don't I have no identity. And I
walked home from I walked home that night alone, very sad.

(01:01:42):
And then I tried to meet people in my dorm
and I felt like I didn't give a fuck about
any of those people, or or that those people kind
of had their groups figured out and I didn't. Uh.
And then I started playing super smash brothers. May and
I made a few friends there, but it what, it

(01:02:03):
didn't really pan out, and I hate it. I just
wanted to drop out of college and like go like
be a filmmaker or some ship. I just didn't have
any semblance of self I felt. I felt, I felt
sincerely unaligned. Yeah, and then I started doing Uh. And

(01:02:29):
I had been doing stand up comedy when I was
in high school and I and I stopped doing it
as much. Then I started doing it again. Then I
started hosting this comedy club in my basement. And then
once I started doing that, Uh, sophomore year, second half
of sophomore year. Yeah, sophomore year. So it was about

(01:02:50):
a year. It took about a year, I mean, and
that that changed everything. Uh, And then I started I
really really feel like I found a place where I belonged.
So I have more questions for you, but I just
wanted to get throw that out there. That was my
college experience. It sucked. I hate it. I was miserable. Yeah,

(01:03:11):
and I, Uh, it takes a while, it's it's not
it takes a long time. So where have you been going?
What have you been doing?

Speaker 1 (01:03:23):
I so I played guitar, I found the music club
that hosts weekly jam sessions, so I've been to that.
There's like not thirty I don't know. There was like
ten other people playing guitar that showed up, so we're

(01:03:44):
all like playing over each other and it just doesn't
sound good at all, which isn't really why I went,
so I guess kind of irrelevant. But you know, obviously
I spoke to a few people, and you know, it
was cordial and stuff. But you know, I don't know,
I mean.

Speaker 2 (01:04:02):
How many, how many? How many times do you go?
How many times did you go to this guitar jam session?
If you say, if you say that was the only
time you went, well, was that the only time? Was
that the only time you went?

Speaker 1 (01:04:16):
I've been once. Yeah, I'm sorry, I've been.

Speaker 2 (01:04:19):
You know, No, you don't have to you know it. No,
it's not no, it's not embarrassing. It's not embarrassing. It's
just it's uh, or maybe it's a little embarrassing, but
it's who gives a ship. Okay, go on, keep going.
I want to hear more about your Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:04:32):
Yeah, I intend to keep going to that. The other
thing I've been to is a club, I guess about telescopes.
It's like astrophotography and visual astronomy club. So I went
to one of those. There's just basically a guy with
one big telescope and a bunch of people standing around

(01:04:53):
and him just kind of talking about Saturn, and you know,
everyone took a turn looking, and uh yeah, I just
I didn't speak to many people at that. Either I
just find it so hard to start conversations or I

(01:05:13):
don't know, but.

Speaker 2 (01:05:15):
How often does the telescope man bring his telescope?

Speaker 1 (01:05:21):
Honestly, I don't know. Maybe once a week, Okay, okay, okay,
what else? Well, those are the only clubs I've been

(01:05:44):
to Other than that. I mean, I've interacted with my
roommate obviously, I've interacted with a couple of people on
my floor. You know, I've spent time with them. I've
gone out with them on the weekend. But again, I mean,
you know, I don't have like zero faith that I'm gonna,

(01:06:07):
you know, always I don't. I don't think I'm always
going to be like alone and I'm never gonna make friends.
Like you said, it took a year for yourself. But
part of the reason I feel like I'm going to
really struggle with this for a long time. Is because
although I had really good friends in high school and
still have them as my friends, I didn't really make them.

(01:06:30):
They kind of made me. I sort of was adopted,
I joined. I started high school with zero friends because
I don't really know how to make friends, and a
kid who remembered me from elementary school sort of almost
made it his job to make himself and his friends

(01:06:52):
my friend.

Speaker 3 (01:06:54):
And.

Speaker 1 (01:06:56):
You know, and then we did become very good friends.
But that wasn't really my doing. I was just kind
of lucky enough for that to happen to me. Yeah,
but but but you.

Speaker 2 (01:07:08):
Know, you know, yes, oh my god, what's your name again? Kevin? Kevin? Yes, Kevin,
you got very you know what I'm This is fun.
I like having this conversation. Yes, yes, you got lucky.
You did. That's what happens. That's kind That's the only

(01:07:31):
way you successfully do anything. That's the only way that you,
I think, find a relationship or start something or have
like a thing that you start, pop off or make
friends is you get lucky. But one of the best

(01:07:59):
ways to get lucky, and I do believe in and
I'm not going to be a bullshitter here because I
do believe in inherent, blind, true, honest to god luck.
I do believe in that. But also the more that
you luck finds you, the more you put yourself in

(01:08:23):
situations for it to find you. Yeah, and it's a
mother fucking grind. It's hard. You're also dealing with the
throes of loneliness and they're actively eating your brain, in

(01:08:47):
soul and your self esteem. And I know, guys, I
know what this feels like. So they're corroding you from
with you know, I don't know if that I don't
know if that's how you feel, but you know, yeah
I feel yeah, yeah, yeah, you feel corroded. But you

(01:09:11):
have to keep trying and you have to believe because
you only went once to these fucking things. I mean,
I'm I'm part of I'll tell you more. I'm you know,
the thing I told you about with the thing in

(01:09:36):
my college is just one exact I have so many
examples of that from my life now that I'm even
thinking about it. I remember when I was sixteen, I
started doing stand up and I went to like I
would go to these bars and I would just I
felt so uncomfortable. I wouldn't talk to anyone because I

(01:09:57):
was like sixteen, these guys were like twenty one. Ever,
and I just kept going. I just kept going. Eventually
you see the same people, and you know, I would
just I I have a nice community now at this
co working space that I edit my videos at. It's nice.

(01:10:21):
And I I remember showing up. They were having this
thing that they do where everyone like presents the stuff
that they're working on. I remember the first time I
showed up to that and I and I showed up

(01:10:45):
kind of observing this culture that already existed without me,
you know, and and and I'm just witnessing it and
I'm seeing it, and I'm and I this is the
first time, and I've I was like, fuck, man, I
want to kill myself, like a fuck that. Like I
just felt bad. I know, you know, I felt bad,

(01:11:05):
But I kept going and I kept talking to people.
And now I show up there, I feel so comfortable.
I feel great. I know people there. I feel great
being there because I didn't because I let myself just
keep going. And I even said this as part of

(01:11:30):
my speel on it is that you is that it's
part of the process to be sitting there while there's
an while while you're observing this pre existing culture that
doesn't need you and doesn't care about you, and because

(01:11:52):
you just because you just showed up, and that's that's
that's supposed to feel bad. It's supposed to feel bad
and corrosive. So when so when you show up to
guitar place for the first time, where you go to
chess club and everyone has their jokes, everyone has their things,

(01:12:14):
and they the first day, it's supposed to feel But
if you do that and it feels bad, that's such normal,
you know the way. I don't know where people are
getting this idea that you're supposed to Uh, everything's supposed
to be amazing off the bat. Sometimes you fucking get
lucky and everything's amazing off the bat. You know. I'm

(01:12:36):
doing this video right now about the gathering of the
Juggalos and uh, that's a place. That's a place where
a lot of people show up and they're welcomed off
the bat and they just feel Sometimes that happens if
you're lucky. Sometimes that happens. If you're lucky. You show
up and you assimilate into the culture immediately and the
arms are wide open. Uh. And some times that happens,

(01:13:00):
and you know what, you know what, you know how
you get lucky into that happening is showing up to
a bunch of different places. But even but if you
don't find a place where the arms are open immediately,
you still have to keep showing up like like five times,
and not only show up five times, but also like
be like, hey, everyone, like what guitar was a guitar club?

(01:13:23):
What was the other one?

Speaker 4 (01:13:25):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (01:13:27):
Telescope telescope. You gotta also organize organize the things because
you're you're also not the only person that uh feels
this way, So organize the thing because you have to
find it. You have to provide value to the community
in some way, right, Like fucking if everyone like what

(01:13:48):
uh crap, Okay, now I have telescope one and I
forget the other one. I don't know why my brain
Yeah hold on, so wait, this is I'm embarrassed, right,
let me can we pause for one second? Hold on?
Telescope club and guitar club. Telescope Club and guitar club
go to go to a fucking local bar and be like, Hey,

(01:14:11):
we're gonna book, We're gonna put on a show for
the guitar club, whatever, anything you can do to to
to contribute to be a part of the culture. You
can't show up. You can't show up and expect to
become part of part of the culture immediately. And you

(01:14:33):
can't show up and expect to be part of the
culture without contributing to it in some way, shape or form.
But I swear on my life if you if you
show up consistently and you creatively contribute to the culture,
you're You're there. You're fucking there. And it's the the

(01:14:54):
people that get fucked are the ones that that that
don't allow themselves to go past the the initial discomforts
that you feel when you're in a place that you
are just no, doesn't give a shit about you. But

(01:15:17):
but you got but but yeah, but there's some so
much lies beyond that, and you're you feel corroded because
you had high expectations and you wanted everything fucking immediately,
because that was, for for whatever reason, the way that

(01:15:37):
you felt things were supposed to go, and that didn't
didn't go that way. But that's but it's not supposed
to it's not supposed to go that way. You're supposed
to feel everything that you're feeling is normal feeling that
you're supposed to feel. But you just keep going. But
just keep so keep going. You know, it's been a
mon month. Man, it's been a month. You're eighteen, don't get.

Speaker 4 (01:16:03):
Don't don't yell at me.

Speaker 1 (01:16:04):
Okay, no, But you know, it's funny because the friends
that I made in high school, actually when I first
started hanging out with them, you know, they were already
friends with each other and I wasn't friends with them.
And actually it was the similar thing where the first
few times I hung out with them, it was weird

(01:16:26):
for me, and it did take a while, but yeah,
now they're, you know, my best friends. So I do
think you're right. Uh, yeah, I understand I'm very young
and insecure and all that, but yeah, I don't know.

(01:16:49):
There was a caller who, if you remember, I don't know, recently,
who talked about also feeling alone on the university campus
and he would talk about, uh, always seeing other people
in groups and him always being by himself, and I
related to that. And then I've noticed, and I think

(01:17:12):
he did as well, that if you look around, there
really are a lot of other people walking around by
themselves as well. But surprisingly. I thought that realization would
bring me solace. But you know, the fact that other
people are suffering doesn't really make me feel better about
my stuffering.

Speaker 2 (01:17:32):
Yeah, it's I don't I don't. I don't like that.
I well, I don't like that. For uh, I don't
like looking at Here's what I don't like. I don't
like looking at oh, everyone's probably having fun or and
I also don't like looking at not everyone's having fun

(01:17:53):
because both it it's detracting still from yourself, you know
what I mean? This is about you. It's not about
anyone else. So so who cares who's having fun and
who's not. It's not it's not even a relevant thing
to your uh plan of action? You know. Yeah, so

(01:18:15):
I just put your put your put your blinders on,
you know, yeah, be a little entrepreneurial about it. Bring up,
bring up fucking pie two uh to the crab and
I forgot both of them. Guitar class.

Speaker 4 (01:18:36):
And yeah, well I do bake.

Speaker 2 (01:18:38):
So you know you baked. You do so much. Ship, dude,
you'll be fine. Just keep going. I know. That's yeah,
So ship? Why am I why don't I know anything anymore?
This all makes perfect sense to me. I think I

(01:19:01):
think I did a good job of this phone call.
I think I'm good at doing this podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:19:07):
I think so too, because otherwise I wouldn't listen to it.

Speaker 2 (01:19:13):
Kevin yep, Oh my god, Kevin, mhm Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Yes, yes, yes, yes,
uh yeah, just yeah. This is all, this is all
part of the plan. Please call me in a year.

(01:19:34):
I'm dead serious. I'm one hundred percent, So call me.
Email me in a year, Email me any when you're nineteen.
If you email me any, I'll tell you. I'll tell
you what If you email me in a year and
you're like, I went to ten different events, and I

(01:19:55):
went to each of them six times. I try talking
to a bunch of people there, and I did. I
did X, Y and Z to contribute to the community,
and I'm I still feel horrible. Then then I'll eat
my own diarrhea. I really will. I will eat that. No. No, no,

(01:20:20):
I no, no, I I You're not This isn't I'm
not asking you for permission for this. I'm just telling
you what I'm going to do. If you send me
that message, well I.

Speaker 1 (01:20:31):
Guess I can't let that happen then, because I don't
want to see you do that.

Speaker 2 (01:20:37):
Yeah. No, it's not about whether it's just it's not
if that, if that happened, if that is if you
send me, if you send me that, No, it's not
selfish at all. It's nothing. If you send me that
message and you and it's not like a troll like
it's actually what you did. I'll I'll diarrhea a little
bit into a dixie cup and I'll eat it. I

(01:21:00):
really will. I'm one hundred percent serious. So do all
do all those things?

Speaker 1 (01:21:08):
I will, I will. I'm not giving up yet. I
just uh, you know, I think you know, I don't.

Speaker 2 (01:21:15):
Know, Kevin, is there anything else you want to say
to the people of the computer before we go?

Speaker 3 (01:21:26):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (01:21:27):
You know, I think the the lower class needs to unite,
not to get political, but the left and right divide
needs to change into the upper and lower divide.

Speaker 2 (01:21:42):
Kevin, where this is? This is like an entirely new conversation. Uh,
but I'll be You're I I call me back and
I'm dead serious. Call me back or send me an
email therapy get go mail at gmail dot com in
a year and tell me tell me if this worked. Okay, Okay, okay,

(01:22:02):
good luck Kevin. I'm I'm rooting for you.

Speaker 1 (01:22:06):
Thank you. That means a lot.

Speaker 2 (01:22:08):
Have a good name, man, you too. I'll do it.
I will eat a dixie cup of diarrhea if he
sends me and I'm gonna and I need a photo
idea that it's Kevin or that it's not, because someone's
gonna now just message me in a year being like
that I'm Kevin and I won't and I but I'm

(01:22:31):
not gonnan't know if I believe it. Uh, friendship, Yeah, yeah,
it's supposed to feel a little weird h for the
first bit, but you move you move past it, and
you you show up with something. You gotta show up
with something, you know, provide something, be a part of

(01:22:56):
the thing. It's it's straightforward. It's a relative. It's kind
of a you know what it is. It's like it's
like all things in life where the process is relatively straightforward. Yeah,
but it's his time consuming. It's like working out. It's

(01:23:16):
like going to the gym and expecting to be ripped
after like two days, which I do. Oh man, thanks
for listening to this podcast. I'm Lyle, I'm a gecko.
Do I have anything else to say? Thanks? For everyone.

(01:23:37):
Thank you guys for all of the awesome comments that
you left on the last episode last Wednesday's episode with Steve.
Steve's a fucking homie. Yeah, we talked for a little
bit of our email. He said he got some emails
that was crazy. That was the best episode. That might

(01:23:58):
be that you know what, content for best episode of
the podcast. I laughed, I cried. It was a good time.
I appreciate this. I like this load of this community
of people listening to this show. I'm grateful for it.
I'm honored by it. I feel less insane than I
did about two hours ago. So this was good for

(01:24:23):
me to This was therapeutic. This was a good Thursday
night spent in a dark room talking to strangers on
my computer. I won't regret this when I'm old and decrepit. Okay,
thank you all. Please show other people this podcast. Oh
like it, subscribe it, pee on it. This rate five stars.

(01:24:49):
I've been drinking so much fresca. The podcast is over. Please,
if you're please, please please don't keep listening unless you
want to hear me say random bullshit until I've realized
that I've spoken too much. But this is not officially
consider this not part of the podcast, even though it's

(01:25:12):
gonna go in. Officially consider this not when you're evaluating
the quality of this podcast. Please officially consider this not
part of the listening experience, because I'm just gonna spend
the next I'm gonna spend until I get bored talking

(01:25:35):
about how much I love Fresca. That's so awesome, it's great.
It's grapefruit, soda water. Who owned is it? Coca Cola's
Coca Cola. Fucking shit, I didn't know that. I didn't
know Coca Cola owned Fresco. Yeah, it's bottled in Atlanta.
What the ingredients? Carbonated water, citric acid. This is not

(01:26:01):
you can leave. You can go, it's over. Don't don't.
If I see a fucking iTunes review that says like
he rambled about Fresco, I'm you didn't, then that's just
a person who didn't listen to the instructions. It's all
going in the podcast, but it's not. It's not officially anything.

(01:26:23):
All right, concentrated grapefruit juice, potassium situate. You can move
on to the next episode. Aspartame everyone's been talking about aspartame.
I'm googling this is aspertain, Actually that bad for you aspartame.
Aspertame is a low calorie artificial sweetener which is two

(01:26:46):
hundred times sweeter than sugar. What the fuck? Okay. Scientific
evidence has continued to support the FDA's conclusion that aspertam
is safe for the general population when made under good
manufacturing practices and used under the improved conditions of use.

(01:27:14):
Studies suggest a link between long term aspartame consumption and
increased abdominal fat. That's so fucking that's fucking such bullshit.
Why can't anything be easy? And aspertame potassium sorbates acassia gum.

(01:27:41):
I drink like three of these a day. I'll wake
up in the middle of the night and I'm like,
I'll wake up in the middle of the night. My
body wants water, and I give it Fresco. I love
Fresco so much. There's no caffeine in it. There's a
caffeine free product. Fuck what else? Anything else? Please? Please

(01:28:10):
stop listening to this. Please, the episode's over. Please stop listening.
The episode's over. There's no more, there's nobody. This is
not part of the thing. Is there anything else? Uh?

(01:28:30):
Do I have any secrets I want to share? I no,
I don't want to. I don't really want to. I'm
putting out what days, Today's Today, Wednesday? Oh yeah, go
on Today's. Uh the I'm releasing this episode. Wait, no,
I don't know when I'm releasing this episode. It's either
we're going to be on a Sunday or a Wednesday.

(01:28:51):
Like all the episodes are released, you can stop. I'm done.
There's no more content. It's just this. You can move
on nothing. At the end of this. If I go
onto my Spotify analytics and I don't see a strong
drop off around this part, I'll actually be upset that

(01:29:15):
people are still listening to this. There should be there objectively,
should be a strong audience drop off analytically about five
minutes ago. It should be like a ninety percent drop
off I could. I'm gonna look at the analytics and

(01:29:37):
if it's not, and if people are listening to this,
I'm gonna be pissed off. What's in this bottle of
water besides water, is what is the ingredients to these minerals? Okay,
the ingredients purified water. This is a Kirkland water bottle.
Purified water, potassium by carbonate, sodium by car been a

(01:30:00):
calcium citrate. Why not just fucking water? Why do you
need all the other stuff? What are you guys gonna
do tonight? What's everyone? What do you What's what's everyone
doing tonight? The podcast is over. There's no more podcasts

(01:30:20):
of this What's everyone gonna do tonight? This is too long.
I'm gonna I'm gonna go. Where else am I gonna go?
What am I gonna do? I'm gonna all right, I'm
gonna go. I gotta leave where I could stay. I'm
gonna go. Okay, thanks for listening to the Therapy Gicle podcast.

(01:30:46):
I love having sex with uh with with with uh
wicker baskets h. My name is Lyle and I am
putting this on the internet. Okay, thank you for you.

(01:31:07):
Next time goes on the line taking your phone calls
every night, the repon goes doing his hide's teaching you
to a loud of your life, but he's not read
me an expert