September 14, 2025 • 65 mins
A caller is addicted to love, a caller goes to blind camp, and a final caller achieves a lifelong dream after many years.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, holy shit, I'm actually on with GEK.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
What a baby? How you doing?
Speaker 3 (00:06):
What? Uh?
Speaker 2 (00:07):
I'm better now that you're here, sick. How's life, buddy?
What's going on? Hit me? Hit me in the balls?
Gets get crazy? Come on, baby, come on, come on man,
hit me, sir, hit me, hit me, hit me.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
All right, So I figure I should talk about my
codependency because that's what I talked to about with my
actual therapist.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Sure yeah, sure, sure.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Yeah. So let's see. So I'm in recovery. I'm like
five months clean off of fetanyl.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Congrats, I thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
I normally tell people my my drugs of choice are slow,
which is sex, love, opiates, and women.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Oh, I really only.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Abstained from the opiates. And my therapist is like, I
don't understand how you could literally say that you'd rather
eat dog shit than do dope again, but you can't
abstain from women. And I normally replied with the joke.
I'm like, well, you know, it's hard when they just
throw themselves at me. But I feel like like I
(01:22):
grew up alone a lot, Like I was a latch
tea kid, you know, like I make sure I was
up in time for school, got home, did my homework,
fed myself, showered, make sures in bed bird.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
You know.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
So it's like I seek attention because I didn't have
it as a kid, which I feel like a lot
of people do. But yeah, what are your thoughts on that?
Speaker 2 (01:50):
What are my thoughts on that?
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
My god? Uh slow interesting sex love, opiates women. Opiates
feels like it's the odd one out of that acronym. Yeah,
why opiates? Why is opiates finding itself in that acronym.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Well, it's like I went, I went to rehab like
for the opiates and then come to find out that,
like my codependency was like a bigger issue, Like I'm
addicted to attention.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Yeah, what code the whole codependency thing? What does that
look like? Really?
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Like?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
What is how does that manifest itself? A codependency addiction?
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (02:36):
I like constantly like have to be talking to somebody,
if not like multiple women, because I get that dopamine
hit from the attention.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
But on the like negative end of the spectrum, like
if I get ghosted or like I don't hear back
for a bit. It's like books at my day and
it's like I could like a week or two ago,
I went on this date, and uh, like I didn't
hear back from this girl for like a couple of
(03:08):
days before our date. It went really well, but like
I was like really shitty. I was like, I'm too
gorgeous to be ghosted?
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Is by the way? I can I just say this?
And is this not? Like? Everyone? Is this not most people? Do?
Most people not? And I'm not gonna I don't think
most I don't think it's a universal experience to like
need I mean, it is, of course a lot of
people that are like want to be talking to multiple
people at once, but a lot of people only want
to be talking to one person at once. But it
(03:38):
isn't that a kind of a universal experience to feel
shitty when you've been ghosted?
Speaker 1 (03:42):
I feel like it is, you know.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
So why what do the opiates? Are the opiates just
just a thing on the sidelines, or are they intertwined
in the the sex and love?
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Well, It's like I feel like it was intertwined. Like
I didn't realize it at the time, but after like
going to treatment and stuff, It's like if I was
able to get high and have that sense of ease
and comfort, I didn't have to seek out attention.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Interesting. Yeah, that makes sense. Hmmm mmm yeah. So it's
like you're just kind of trying to fix some chemical,
uh maladjustments in your brain, whether it be through drugs
(04:38):
or through another person.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
Right.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Interesting, M And so how has it been being five
months sober?
Speaker 1 (04:54):
It's pretty cool, Like my they call it like a
pink cloud of early sobriety where you're like, fuck, yeah,
this is the that's kind of coming gone, coming up
some like half a year. So now it's just life.
So I'm trying to live life on life terms. I
(05:15):
do a lot of like volunteer work because they say
that it's a good way to stay sober. I like
help lead like heroin Anonymous meetings, which Heroin Anonymous just
kind of encompasses.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Like all opiates.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
And I do like aa like any sort of like
anonymous program. I volunteer with the special needs like twice
a month and once a week I go to pet
COO and I volunteer with like the place where they
have the like kitten adoptions. Hmm.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
That's that all sounds nice man. Yeah, have you been
enjoying the five months of being sober?
Speaker 3 (05:58):
I have.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
I've made like a move to a new town I'm in.
I'm in Prescott, Arizona. So it's all my friends up
here are sober. You know, I don't know where to
find dope up here. You know. Oh you uh new geography,
(06:19):
you know, it's a new start. M hm.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
And what are you What does sobriety look like in
terms of like sex, are you like upstanding from like
having sex with anyone?
Speaker 1 (06:36):
So they call that emotional sobriety. So it's like anytime
that I would like have sex with somebody, or even
if I'm like talking to people, they call it acting
out right. They have they have a sex and love
addicts anonymous, which I went for a bit, and then
(06:56):
this dude was talking about how he fox dogs and
I was like, this is not I don't think this
is for me.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Wow, yeah, you know what's crazy? I bet And it's
like kind of a something and I know this is
probably an invasion of a sacred space, but uh, you
know when a guy start when a guy is in
a meeting and he starts talking about having sex with dogs,
is everyone else in the meeting like oh shit? Even
I am like that's the lot.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
I feel like they're thinking it, but you're not like
supposed to like comment on something that's well, I mean,
you'd like you can, but you can't like direct it
at them. This is a cross cross like if I interrupt, ye,
if I interrupt wh somebody's sharing, or if I go
(07:47):
to my share and I'm like this, fuck, you know,
we're like I've never you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Like, there's this comedian named there's this comedian named Greg
Roguel and I think he did this joke on an
episode of Louis or maybe I just saw him do
the joke. I don't know, but he has this joke
about Tiger Woods where he's like, you know, they're they're
on the news calling Tiger Woods a sex addict. These
(08:12):
were beautiful women he was having sex with. Now, if
he was having sex with like a dead chicken, I'd
be like, wow, that guy is addicted to sex.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
When when I went to treatment, they were asking me
about like my sexuality and like promiscuity and stuff. I
was like, well, I'm pan sexual, and I guess it's
like you know, when it comes to like sleeping with somebody.
I literally told my therapist, I'm like, if somebody's down
to clown, we're going to the circus, you know, fucking interesting.
(08:46):
I'm gonna get mine, And she was like, I think
you might be a sex addict.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
If someone is down to say that again, if someone
is down to clown, I'm going to the circus.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
If somebody's down to clown, we're going to the circus.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Yeah. I mean I've lived a lot of my life
like that too. Does that make someone a sex addict?
Speaker 1 (09:10):
I mean, are you preoccupied with sex or like relationships?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
What is preoccupied? Man?
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Like, if you think about it often for more than
like thirty seconds at a time.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Do I think about sex for more than thirty seconds
at a.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Time multiple times throughout the day?
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Probably do? Is that not normal?
Speaker 1 (09:38):
I mean I thought it was.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
How many? What's defined multiple?
Speaker 1 (09:46):
I don't they like never told me like an exact number.
But it's like, if I'm preoccupied with it.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Is that? Well? You know what's about is the thing
I saw some TikTok that was like, uh, humans are
our only biological derivative is to have sex. I mean,
if there was truly a god, like, the only actual
meaning of life is to have sex. Like that's the
(10:16):
only like inherent one, So it makes sense. Yeah, that's
the only that's the thing that our bodies are hardwired
to do, is to We're biological programmed for the meaning
of life being to eat and to have sex and reproduce.
That's our like biological hardware or whatever programming. So of
(10:38):
course it's gonna take up, you know, a lot of
brain space, is it not?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Yeah? I think? So?
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Are you thinking about sex right now?
Speaker 1 (10:55):
I mean we're talking about it.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
But like are you thinking yeah, well we're talking like,
are you like thinking about it in like a horny way?
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (11:03):
No, okay, me neither, but I you know, I was.
We are talking about it, yes, which is a step
above thinking about something. Is talking about something. If I
talked about sex multiple times a day all the time,
that would probably be a lot.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Hmm, okay, let me think, Let me think, Let me think,
Let me think. So, what's the future plan for you, sir?
Speaker 1 (11:39):
The future plan?
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Hmm?
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Like just in general or like with this subject.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Let's start start with with this subject and then we
can go into general.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
So with this subject, I feel like it would be
good for me each focus more on myself and not
just like trying to get some tail or, you know,
like trying to find somebody to to fill the hole
within myself that I need to, ye know, do on
(12:14):
my own. You know, like they say, you can't love
somebody until you truly love yourself, because they come, they
become like my whole world, Like I do the whole
like insist treatment, which probably isn't a good thing because
then it's like if they if I like, like if
I lose them, I lose like a part of myself,
(12:35):
which is a healthy.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Yeah yeah, I know, but like, isn't that fucking that's
so stupid, you know. Uh, I'm I'm sorry to react
so strongly, but uh yeah, but it's like, of course
that's it's so it's the one thing. And I was
talking about this, I was rantic about this on the
podcast recently. But it's so stupid to be like that's
(12:59):
not healthy because it's like, you know, it's like saying like, oh,
if my wife died and left, if my wife left
me or cheated on me or died, I would feel
like losing a part of myself and that's not healthy.
It's like, well, it's fucking yea, this is life, you know,
(13:20):
it's supposed to I think, I think, I don't know,
there's something about like therapy and about psycho whatever and
about you know, there's something very sterile in all of this.
Do you know what I mean? Do you are you
picking up what I'm saying, Like I need to have
(13:42):
a perfect emotional whatever with everything, And it's like life
is not sterile. It's beyond our attempts to sterilize it
with therapeutic whatever. That's at least how I feel in
this moment. So I think it's I don't know if
(14:04):
there is a correct way to love. There's things that
are glaringly unhealthy and glaringly toxic, but then there's things
that are just like, well, yeah, you form a connection
with someone because of oxytocin or whatever, and when they
are no longer there, it sucks, you know, And when
(14:25):
they are there, it is good and there's no and
a lot of the emotional sterilization is just attempting to
tempting to avoid the sucks part. But yeah, I mean
that's that that doesn't happen. You know, there's no reason
to believe that you should be exempt from things occasionally sucking,
(14:53):
you know. I mean, yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Guess what I would like an example it being unhealthy.
So like I was with this girl for like four
and a half years, and I was like saving up
her ring and stuff and it didn't work out, you know,
Like I was using at the time, and like she's
just like I can't do this. She actually she like
was prepared to leave me, and then like stayed with
(15:18):
me like through like the first time that I tried
to get sober, which shows like she actually really cared.
And then when we ended up splitting up, I was
gonna like use the money that I saved for the
ring to go to Peru and go to like an
Iowas to retreat, but before I got my passport, I
releft m So it's like it's, you know, is somebody
(15:44):
such a big part of you that you're gonna I
don't know, self sabotage or you know what I'm trying
to say.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Yeah, like you like the concept of like you're filling
a hole, and it's like, well, if it's not this lady,
then it's gonna be fucking drugs.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll fill the hole with another hole.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Yeah yeah. Uh it's weird, make it. I mean, uh,
you know, we all I don't want to get to
and I don't think that this is a bummer. But
it's like, aren't we all kind of filling a hole?
In some sense? Is in a lot? Is in a
lot I'd love to have. I really would love to
(16:27):
talk to more. Uh, you know, get alternative perspectives on
this from you know, whatever philosophy douche bag people there are.
But uh, I mean, isn't a lot of life filling
a hole? I mean, like our like is having friends,
Filling a hole is getting is achieving things. Filling a
hole is like working out, filling a hole, having kids,
(16:51):
having like like all these like positive things. It's all
filling a hole of some kind. Yeah, everyone, Yeah, and
and so I guess it's just about filling the hole
with as much things that are considered positive instead of
negative so that you look back on your life and
you enjoy it. But yeah, you know it feels a
(17:13):
little complicated. I guess.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Yeah, life's the trip.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
What's your name again, Sterling? Sterling? Sterling, Sterling, Sterling? How
did you feel about this phone call? Sterling?
Speaker 1 (17:31):
I was stoke that I actually got on mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
You're you're you're a good guy, Sterling. I like you.
You seem like a nice fella.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Thank you Mike Boy's gig.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Hmmm, I'm trying to is anything I'm trying to think
if there's anything else? This was an interesting thing. Do
you feel like you'll you'll be able to like have
do you do you feel optimistic about your ability to
kind of work on your sexual relationships and have them
be more healthy to your to your definition?
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Yeah, I think so, Like if I actually try to
start working on it.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Would you ever have would you ever have sex with
a dog?
Speaker 3 (18:23):
No?
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Okay, that's good. I don't think that's a good idea.
I don't think that's a good thing to do. Is
there anything else you want to say to the people
of the computer before we go starling?
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Hmmm. It's better to be a dopeless hope addict than
a dopeless than a hopeless dope addict, and don't do drugs. Oh?
Speaker 3 (18:51):
I like that?
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Say that way, hopeless. It's better to be a dopeless.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
A dopeless hope addict than a hopeless dope addict.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
A dopeless hope addict and a hopeless dope addict.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
I like that.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
I like that. She put down a shirt or a
fucking bracelet or whatever.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Yeah, a bumper sicker.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Thanks for calling Sterling. I appreciate you word.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Thank you, Geck.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
They came in. Likewise, that was sterling slow sex love
opiates women. I stole the feel like, Yeah, no, that
all that all makes sense. I think it's bad to
(19:36):
have sex with dogs. I'll say that on the record.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
Hello, Hello, where's your shirt?
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Where's my shirt?
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (19:48):
Where's your shirt?
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Jessica? What's up? How you doing?
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Man?
Speaker 2 (19:53):
How's life?
Speaker 4 (19:56):
I don't do one all right. I decided to call
in today because I figured you'd be interested in my
story on nineteen And to put it simply, I'm going blind.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
You're going blind?
Speaker 4 (20:10):
Yes, So, I have a rare genetic condition called Stargart disease.
It affects one in ten thousand people worldwide, and it
basically like I'm losing my central vision. So it's supposed
to deteriorate over time until all I really have is peripheral.
But my perferal vision could go to So.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
How do you know I'm not wearing like a skin color.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
Shirt because I have Well that's a good question. But anyway,
I have a lot of functional vision at the moment,
so I can see a lot of things, but I
have a hard time reading, recognizing faces and things like that.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
You know, but what, yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
The thing is I got bullied in high school because
people didn't believe me.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Whoa what.
Speaker 4 (21:16):
Well, first of all, people would say, oh, yeah, she
pretends to be blind because my vision will fluctuate. Sometimes
it's better, sometimes it's worse. And I would use a
white cane to get around sometimes, and people say, oh, yeah,
she doesn't use a cannel all the time. She's pretending
to be blind, or like I knew her, you know,
because I got diagnosed at thirteen. I didn't always know
(21:37):
I was going blind. Something was wrong with my vision,
but I didn't have the tools to help me. So
people are like, yeah, I knew her before, and she
wasn't blind before. People would step in front of me,
throw things at me, you know, the usual.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Wow, crazy crazy. So what are so? You're nineteen us?
Speaker 3 (22:00):
Are you?
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Are you going to school? Are you? What are you
doing now? I assume you've graduated high school? Right? What
are you doing now?
Speaker 4 (22:08):
Yeah? So I took a gap year to kind of
figure out what I wanted to do, especially like things
that I could do. I want to like two different
Like I don't know if you ever hear there's like
camps and stuff for people. I feel like there's like
a camp for kids with epilepsy and shit like that.
(22:28):
I went to two blind camps, camps for blind kids,
and that's kind of where I found that I can
be a nurse, which is something that I wanted to do.
So I'm going into a nursing program in December.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Cool. Cool? Yeah, is that something that you think your
condition will affect your ability to do.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
In a way.
Speaker 4 (22:56):
I'm only going for my LPN, so that's a step
above a CNA and a step below and aren So
there might be some things that I won't be able
to do, like give an IV or take blood, et cetera.
But not all nurses that have to perform those functions.
I mean you should know how. But as long as
(23:18):
I get through the school, I spoke to someone from
the board of nursing, as long as I graduate from
the program, I can become a nurse.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Cool. Cool hmm. So what's your situation like at home? Like,
are your parents helping you out? And you like, is
everyone supportive and whatnot?
Speaker 4 (23:44):
Yeah, my parents are very supportive, so are my brothers.
You know, I can't drive, so My parents are always,
you know, open to giving me rides wherever I need
to go. I have a pretty good support system, I'd say,
I have some blind friends to so that helps.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Really, where'd you meet these other blind friends?
Speaker 4 (24:06):
Blind camp?
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Blind camp? What's I got to know everything about blind camp?
Speaker 4 (24:12):
Yes, I'd love to tell you. So the first one
I went to, and I never knew this was a thing.
So I got diagnosed when I was thirteen, and that
was COVID. And then I went back to school and
I had a vision teacher to teach me things like
brail and whatnot. But she told me about these blind camps.
I'm like, what on earth are you talking about? And
(24:35):
I found out that through government funded organizations like the
Center for the Blind and Visually Appaired at least that's
what's in my state. I live in Pennsylvania every summer
and there's a camp at the CBBI Center where kids
go for free and we spend about like three weeks
(24:56):
in dorms and we learn things like how to navigate
the world, you know, with vision loss. So we learned
kitchen skills, technology skills, communication skills, career skills, do some
braille orientation and mobility, and also we do fun things
(25:16):
on the weekend.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
What kinds of fun things do you guys do on
the weekends?
Speaker 4 (25:23):
Oh my god, So I forget what the place is called.
It's like you go and it's like it's called medieval Times.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
I think, oh, you guys, the medieval times.
Speaker 4 (25:37):
Yeah, some people were pissed off. The completely blind kids
were kind of pissed off because they couldn't see anything,
but the food was good.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Well there, I mean, I mean, you know, what what
do you what are you gonna do? I guess you
could go to like a fucking orchestra or a concert
or something something more auditory than Medieval Times. Yeah, the
blind No, Actually, the blind kids have a point. They've
got a point. What the fuck is the point. It's
like saying, hey, we're gonna go I'll go see a
movie or something.
Speaker 4 (26:07):
Oh we did?
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Why?
Speaker 4 (26:12):
Well, So for blind people, you can request special headphones
that tell you what's going on in the movie. Every
movie has it. It's called auditory description that you can
turn on, so it tells you what's happening in the movie.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
Basically, Wow, No, okay, I knew about that, But is
that like a thing that you just can go to
any movie theater and request.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
Oh yeah, my brother works at a movie theater too,
so I mean, most of the time the headphones don't work,
so I need someone next to me to tell me
what's going on. But they do have that.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
M What movie did you see?
Speaker 4 (26:51):
It was the live action of the Little Mermaids. That's
the one that I saw. We had two choices. I
don't remember what the other choice was. I don't I
don't remember what with that at the time, but that's
what I decided to see. It was all right, it
was good.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Uh so, what did any drama ever go down in
blind camp?
Speaker 4 (27:11):
This one necessarily no, But then one I went to
at Penn State, we definitely had drama. So that was
the following year. It was ten days long. You know,
it's learning how to navigate college life. And my roommate
was the most insufferable person. Insufferable person on this planet,
(27:36):
I believe.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Really.
Speaker 4 (27:38):
Okay, so my roommate, oh my god, her name is Ada,
but she always told us to call her this name,
and I don't remember what it was either. But at first,
you know, we were all understanding that she's on the spectrum.
I'm on the spectrum too, so I understand being socially awkward,
(27:59):
not understand social cues and whatnot, maybe being a little annoying.
But this girl pissed me off so bad. Okay, let
me tell you one of the things that she did.
I remember we were talking, so she has a lot
of provisions, a lot worse than one. And I remember
she was telling me, well, well, you're lucky. You're lucky
(28:19):
you get to see better than me. You know that.
Why would you say that to me? Why would you
say that to me? I remember I was doing my
makeup in the dorm and everyone's waiting on me. So
my friend asked, hey, like, ado, where Jessica. She's like,
she's putting on her face paint or whatever. I don't
like makeup or something. I don't know. That wasn't all
(28:46):
of it, though, I'm trying to remember, because I like
the thing is, I remember that feeling of how irritating
she was, but it's kind of hard to recall like
everything that she did, so I'm gonna be.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
There are a hierarchy of in terms of like, like,
are like the most popular kids at blind camp? Are
they the more blind kids or the less blind kids?
Speaker 3 (29:09):
Like?
Speaker 4 (29:09):
Who know the funny ones.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
The funny ones is there? There's no like uh uh
cast system based on who is more or less blind.
Speaker 4 (29:23):
I mean, like some of us are, okay, not a
social hierarchy. I got a little confused there. So some
kids are more, some kids are completely blind, some kids
can see shadows. It really depends. Some kids have spots
in their vision, some kids have tunnel vision. Your vision,
(29:43):
I think needs to be a certain amount of terrible
to get in, and I get it. I got in
both of them. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
Mmm, do you still hang out with anyone from blind Camp?
They still talk to any of them?
Speaker 3 (30:00):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (30:01):
Yeah, my friend Wendy, she's sleeping over tomorrow night. I
believe she has a stigmatism, which is when you're like
eyeballs or not shaped the right way, and the stagnus,
which is when your eyeball is constantly like shake back
and forth. So that's that's her blind story. But I
(30:22):
only ever met one person with my disease, because it's
that rare, because one in ten thousand. You hear that,
but I looked it up because I'm terrible with statistics
and numbers. That's point zero one percent of the population worldwide.
Mm I you know, it's it's a it's a pretty
(30:43):
lonely feeling. Not gonna lie, but you know, my friend
Wendy's coming over tomorrow, so that's cool.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
Hm hmmm.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
I'm trying to think if I have any other any
other questions about blind Camp. Is it true that your
other senses start to become stronger.
Speaker 4 (31:15):
Not unintentionally. You have to learn those things yourself. It's
not like you go blind and suddenly you have a
heightened sense of touch, smell, hearing. You have to learn
to utilize those things in such a way on your own.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
And have you done that with any of your other senses?
Speaker 4 (31:38):
Yeah? I would touch. Learning brail is really hard because you, like,
look at it, it is so small you can barely
know what you're feeling. When I first started learning braille,
I was like, what is this? What is this? Because
I just couldn't tell what letter was what. It's actually
(32:01):
really difficult, but eventually you get used to it. As
far as me hearing goes, I can never tell what
anyone's saying, but that's just because I suck at the
auditory processing aspect of it.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
What do you want the people listening to this podcast
to know about being blind? That maybe they haven't thought
about before.
Speaker 4 (32:26):
I'm going to This is the part where I'm probably
going to talk a lot. This is why I wanted
to get on here. Oh okay, Yeah, so I did
say that I got bullied in high school because people
did not believe me. You don't understand my high school
had thirty. Let me go back with this number, like
(32:52):
it's a really big high school.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Hold on, I'm sorry, your high school thirty? What?
Speaker 4 (32:57):
Hold on?
Speaker 3 (32:58):
Huh?
Speaker 4 (32:58):
I need to look at the exact because I'm on
the spot right now, you know.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Yeah, thirty thirty thousand, no.
Speaker 4 (33:10):
Not thirty, Okay, three thousand, two hundred and ten students.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
That's pretty crazy for a high school. That it's a lot.
Speaker 4 (33:19):
And to feel like I had that entire school going
up against me was a lot. I didn't know who
I could trust. There was this one girl that I
thought I trusted, you know, we grew up knowing each other.
She had heard everything I had to say in class.
I had this one class. It was a small class.
It was like emotional support, math or something. I don't know. Anyways,
(33:44):
she heard all the things that I had to deal with,
and still she went behind my back and told people. Yeah,
she actually does pretend to be blind. So I found
her in the hallway one day and I was pissed off.
I swung at her and well, I missed, And so
you know, what does that tell you? Ignorance when it
(34:07):
comes to disabilities like this can do a lot of damage.
I in my senior year, I had really thought about
taking my life because I couldn't deal with it anymore.
The constant harassment, people going behind my back, who I
thought I could trust in spreading this rumor. It was awful,
(34:32):
It really was. I felt like I felt like an amusement,
a circus class. People would laugh at me in the hallways,
take pictures of me, take videos of me, like I
was some zoo animal. It was. It was ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
And how did you feel once you graduated a lot better?
Speaker 4 (35:04):
I didn't have to deal with that anymore. I mean,
there's still people saying those things about me. But what
am I gonna do? You know, I still live in
my hometown. I'm only nineteen. I can't get away from
these people. But I just I hope that one day
(35:24):
these people that harass me will realize what they had
done and that blindness is a spectrum. There are all
different kinds of blindness. It's not you're blind or you're not,
or you wear glasses or you don't. Right, I'm losing
my central vision and that's something I have to live
with on top of the bullying that I dealt with.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
Are you optimistic for the future in general?
Speaker 4 (35:50):
I definitely am great. I think my past might haunt
me forever, but that's okay because going into this nursing program,
I feel right about it. I feel like this might
be the best thing for me.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
In what way do you feel like the past will
haunt you forever?
Speaker 4 (36:10):
I graduated two years ago and I still think about
it all the time. The bullying that I dealt with
it was really bad. I mean, like I just every
time I passed by I could hear people talking about
Not every time, but you know, the paranoia that set
(36:31):
in with these kinds of things, going around and feeling
like no one would believe you. On top of being
recently told that I was going blind. People didn't believe
me and they were not nice sometime in trust me.
Just things like that, there's emotions they stick with you
(36:55):
for a long time.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
M Do you feel like you have a pretty good
community with I mean, you know, both both your friends
from blind Camp and other friends.
Speaker 4 (37:10):
Yeah, I do. I don't have a lot of friends
outside of blind Camp. That is a whole nother story.
I lost them my friends in high school. But yeah,
I mean my blind friends are you know, people that
I can fall back on, lean on. But I feel
(37:32):
like no one else understands me.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 4 (37:38):
Pretty weird people.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Yeah, in what way?
Speaker 4 (37:44):
Okay? So between my boyfriend and I, my boyfriend's watching
this live stream right now. Oh my god, say hi Eden,
say hi to him? Please?
Speaker 2 (37:56):
Is he here?
Speaker 3 (37:58):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (37:59):
Oh? Does he want? He can say hi if he wants.
Speaker 4 (38:03):
No, I'll say, you say hi to him. He's watching
the live stream.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Oh wait, you said what you're saying me say hi
to him?
Speaker 4 (38:09):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (38:09):
I don't even. I don't even is he like here here?
I mean, like, is he with next to you?
Speaker 3 (38:15):
No?
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Oh, well, if if he's next, I'll say, I don't
know if he's next to you.
Speaker 4 (38:21):
It's okay. It's the privilege to be acknowledged by the gecko. Anyhow,
the nine eleven jokes went crazy at the second line Camp.
I want to I don't know what that was about
to be honest, I feel like that.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
Go ahead.
Speaker 4 (38:41):
So when we first all met each other our first
day at the Penn State camp, we have this objective.
We all got got put into groups and we were
given like these I don't remember what they're called. They're
like rods and stuff. You put them in the whole
kids play with them. It's it's really hard to explain,
(39:04):
but if you saw it, you know what I'm talking about.
But anyways, it's a group activity, who can build the
tallest tower whatever. My group kind of got sidetracked and
started building the twin towers, the plane and the Pentagon.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
Interesting. Interesting today? Get today? I get mad at you guys.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
No, I mean, no, you weren't even.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Alive when nine to eleven happened.
Speaker 4 (39:35):
No, I was.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
You aren't even alive? Nope, I don't think. I don't
think it was, are you. I don't think. Are you
saying that nine to eleven wasn't your idea?
Speaker 4 (39:53):
Well, that wasn't my idea either.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
I think it was how did you meet your boyfriend?
Speaker 4 (40:00):
So he used to work at it nifty fifties? You
know what that is? Right? He's little restaurant's supposed to
be like the fifties or whatever.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
No, I know, I don't know a place called uh
chea burger chea burger, but I don't know a nifty fifties.
Speaker 4 (40:20):
So it's basically like it's like imagine kind of like
it's to sit in. It's like a burger joint, fast
food place, kind of saying restaurant, but it's supposed to
be themed like the fifties. Anyways, I went there with
my friend Natalie, she's on my friend anymost fucked that bitch,
but I'll get into that in a moment. But anyways,
(40:43):
I saw him. He was my waiter, and I thought
he was cute, like you know, he got He was
close enough so I could actually see his face, and
I thought he was cute. So I left my number
and he texted me and we started going on dates
from there. And it's like a year and a half later.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
So why don't you Why don't you like this lady
that you just said you don't like?
Speaker 4 (41:09):
Oh my sorry, So Natalie, I remember in my second
blind camp, I was flaming this bitch, but I decided
to talk to her again after her mom died. But
she when I say secret animas, So do you like
some friends are not your friends. This girl was jealous
of me before I met Aiden. I'd be talking to
(41:32):
other guys and whatnot, and she would see if she
could talk to them too, or she'd be like, oh
my god, call lease share him.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
Okay, okay, what will do?
Speaker 4 (41:43):
Is that appropriate behavior?
Speaker 3 (41:45):
Right?
Speaker 2 (41:45):
And and this is a person who used to be
your friends?
Speaker 4 (41:49):
Oh? Absolutely? I just like.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
And this is what? When when did you stop being
friends with this girl? Like when you were seventeen or something?
Speaker 1 (42:00):
Then?
Speaker 2 (42:01):
Yeah, okay, well listen, here's let me tell you something.
I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna act like a fucking
I'm gonna go you know what. You know what, everyone,
I'm going unk mode from now on, no more being,
no more of this passive bullshit. I'm going straight up
unk mode. I refuse to not Okay, here's what I'm
gonna do. I'm gonna go uncomode. Listen, here's the thing
(42:23):
you're gonna One day, You're gonna you're gonna be uh
an old lady, and you're gonna realize that when you
were seventeen, not only were you incredibly immature and stupid,
but everyone around you was incredibly immature and stupid. Not
(42:43):
your fault that you're incredibly immature and stupid, but the
fault of the fact that you're seventeen and you're in
high school. And so I'm gonna tell you something. You
can either recognize that and let go of your anger now.
You could do it when you're in your fifties, or
(43:04):
you could hold on to it forever and die. So
she is, yeah, do you still hang out with her?
Speaker 3 (43:17):
No?
Speaker 4 (43:18):
She she's two hours away now, but she keeps harassing
me in any possible way she can find.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
What do you I don't what is she in your life?
Or is she what do you mean? What do you mean?
Speaker 3 (43:30):
Like?
Speaker 2 (43:30):
Is she your friends?
Speaker 4 (43:32):
I don't want her to be my friend. She thinks
we're friends, and that's like fucked up of me to do.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
I'm aware, Okay, all right, wow.
Speaker 4 (43:41):
So I finally stopped talking to her when she told
me that she would never date a blind person. That's
too far for her. She draws the line because she
wants them to be able to see her and what
she looks like.
Speaker 2 (43:58):
And she said, hold on, all right, all right, okay,
I'll I'll let you finish.
Speaker 4 (44:04):
She said, I already have a hard time being friends
with you because you're losing your vision, because I want
you to see me. I have a hard time staying
friends with you because of that.
Speaker 2 (44:15):
The second, that's a stupid thing to say, But saying
that they want that, that she wants to not date
another blind guy, it's totally fair. I'm gonna say that's
totally fair.
Speaker 1 (44:25):
She said that to.
Speaker 4 (44:26):
The wrong person, you know, I it's okay to think that.
Some I just felt as though that was an inside thought.
Speaker 2 (44:37):
I I feel like, if you're well, it's superb because
I think if I were blind, i'd want to date
a non blind person because too, if we're both blind,
then you know you're the blind leading the blind. You
know that expression absolutely at least one person. I think
it's helpful. It's helpful for at least one person to
(44:58):
not be blind. I think it's a it's a strong
logistical play that she's talking about right now. I don't
think she should be faulted for it, but I no,
I agree it was a dick move to say that
that you that she doesn't want to be friends with
you because you're blind. That was a dick move. But
I don't know. I don't know anything about this lady
(45:18):
that you are friends with that you hate. She could
be She's probably fine, she's probably fine. You're I'm sorry,
She's probably fine.
Speaker 4 (45:31):
It's not that probably.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
But but but anyway, fuck, give me your name one
more time. Jessica, Jessica. And and you know what, you're
fine too. You're gonna go into medication and you can
go into nursing. It's gonna be good. You know it'll
(46:01):
be It'll be good, It'll be good. Well, what was
your experience of this phone call? How did this phone
call feel to you? Was this helpful in any way?
Was this anything? Was this anything? I'm sorry, I'm today,
I'm I'm today is a fucking weird ass to day
and I'm and I'm just I don't know if I'm
doing this well today, but I but I but I
(46:23):
I'm doing it. Go ahead.
Speaker 4 (46:25):
You kind of put some things into perspective for me.
As far as you know, my relationship with Nattalie, we're
all fucking immature. In the end, it doesn't completely matter.
I mean, as long as we are treating each other
with basically respect, that that is what matters. At the
(46:47):
end of the day. You know, it's not something to
whip my head off over, you know.
Speaker 2 (46:53):
Okay, good, good, well, Jessica, is there anything else you
want to say to the people as a computer before
we go?
Speaker 4 (47:04):
Yeah, just you know, everyone be nice, to be nice
to disable people. I feel like people are either overly
nice or they are overly ignorant. You know, two things
can be true at the same time. Also, but I
just don't want someone else to go through what I
(47:24):
went through as far as the bullying goes, you know,
keep an open mind.
Speaker 2 (47:29):
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Jessica. I
appreciate it great.
Speaker 4 (47:33):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
Bye bye.
Speaker 3 (47:41):
From Jared. Hello, Hello, what's up.
Speaker 2 (47:48):
How's it going?
Speaker 1 (47:48):
Man?
Speaker 3 (47:50):
That's too bad? Honestly pretty good? Low key pretty good?
Speaker 2 (47:55):
Why is it going low key pretty good?
Speaker 3 (47:59):
I don't know, Like I would say, like, the past
three years has been pretty great. I've had some pretty
good opportunities to travel the world, and like I was
actually recently able to accomplish a really big dream something
that like I've been working towards two for the past
like and I wanted to say, like three and a
(48:19):
half four years.
Speaker 2 (48:20):
Oh shit, I lay it on us man.
Speaker 3 (48:25):
Okay, yeah, I mean, like the big dreams that like
actually happened was I visited. I visited New York City
like for the first time, like in twenty nineteen and
ever since then, I was like, fuck, I need to
be here, like this is like the place I want
to live. And I recently got a job offered to
(48:46):
start there in like June, and I was living there
over the summer as well, and it was such a
good experience.
Speaker 2 (48:54):
Cool, cool, cool, what what what job?
Speaker 3 (49:00):
I'm basically just another corporate live at a bank.
Speaker 2 (49:05):
You gonna get to live You're gonna get to live
in New York.
Speaker 3 (49:08):
Though, Yeah, that's a big thing. It's it was like
so surreal over the summer because it's like wow, like
I finally accomplished this dream and like I yeah, I
just was not something I actually expected to actually happen,
because I don't know. But like right now, I'm just
kind of like, I what else is the next That's
(49:29):
kind of what I've been struggling with.
Speaker 2 (49:31):
Interesting, Okay, so well let's talk because where in New
York are you?
Speaker 3 (49:40):
So right now? Actually right now, I'm not living in
New York. I'll be in New York. I'll be back
in New York like in the summer because right now,
I'm in a grad program, so I'll be back when
I once I finished your program.
Speaker 2 (49:51):
Oh wait, you'll be back. Oh wait, you're you're You're
going to New York in the summer of next year.
Speaker 3 (49:56):
Yeah, yeah, like full time jobs. Yeah, and then this
past I was in the city. Just do an internship
over the summer.
Speaker 2 (50:03):
Oh okay, all right, so you are going to Okuess
you don't live in New York, but you are guaranteed
a job that will allow you to live in New
York in about.
Speaker 3 (50:13):
A year exactly.
Speaker 2 (50:15):
Yeah, okay, very cool. Where do you want to live there?
Speaker 3 (50:21):
It depends on the market, but like, ideally I would
love to live in the East Village again because that
was such a good experience for a few reasons. I mean,
the restaurants a were great, the bar seiers there is great.
The age there is a little too young for me maybe,
but like I would STI love to live there.
Speaker 2 (50:40):
How old are you?
Speaker 3 (50:42):
I am in my late twenties, Okay, I remember when
I first visit in East Village was like relatively I mean,
I could be wrong, this is just from my own perspective,
but like when I first was there, I felt like
the East Village is more for like mid to late twenties,
while like I don't know, neighborhoods maybe Murray Hill and
like Hips Bay was more for like real post undergrad
(51:04):
type vibes there. But now it's like getting younger and younger.
I feel like, yeah, you think have you seen yeah,
have you seen that in your experience so far?
Speaker 2 (51:13):
I totally. I mean there's certain parts, like a Lower
east Side is like huge, you know, like a lot.
I mean, like you know, NYU kids are all over
the Lower east Side, But you know, I don't know.
That's the funny thing, right, is because those kids, like
I guess I don't know how many of them when
they get out of like college age, are going to
(51:35):
stay in New York City. So it seems like that
it's just going to keep being like a rotating a
batch of eighteen to twenty two year olds just kind
of like coming in and out.
Speaker 3 (51:47):
Yeah. Yeah, that's I feel like that's always been like
the tradition of like those specific neighborhoods in the city,
just because like of how crazy it is, Like I know,
there's like a big like controversial thing too of like
how people are fluctuating, like you said there's a lot
of turnover in the city because of like how hectic
it is, and like you know, there's like a very
(52:09):
few like real New Yorkers. But that's a whole different thing,
I feel.
Speaker 2 (52:12):
Like, And you said that the past three years have
been really really good. Why have the past three years
been really really good?
Speaker 3 (52:21):
I've had some I mean, I consider myself really lucky
and really blessed to have opportunities to travel the world.
And like I get took my first year of trip
back in like right when I graduated undergrad and like
I've been addicted to go and like growing abroad and
like seeing the world since then, and like every year
I've had the opportunity to go abroad and it's been
(52:42):
such a great experience. And like a few of the
past two years I've been able to like build a
multiple trips to different countries, so that's been like even
even great, and like you know that on top of
like you know, actually accomplishing dream, it's been like such
a great time and like I don't know, the I
just yeah, super appreciative of like what I've been able
(53:03):
to see, the places I've been able to go. And
then like I have plans to keep on traveling as well.
Speaker 2 (53:09):
Nice, Nice, Nice. Where else do you want to go?
Speaker 3 (53:13):
Actually my groad trip, I've been trying to plant it out.
I want to go to Vietnam and Southeast Asia. I
really want to do the I could be pronounced it incorrectly,
but I really want to do the ha Gian Loop.
I know it's like really popular, but like I've seen
videos on like TikTok and Instagram. I's like I need
to experience like that looks beautiful, Like that's something I
(53:35):
just really want to go.
Speaker 2 (53:37):
Cool. Yeah, you know, it's interesting. I think, you know,
of all the things that I the older I get
and the more I've kind of achieved in my life,
the more apathetic I actually become towards a lot of things.
The amount of things that I truly care about has
(53:57):
gone has gone down over the years, which which has
pros and cons. I think that a man is rich
in proportion to the amount of things he's he can
afford to let alone. You know that phrase, Yeah, I
kind of agree with that.
Speaker 3 (54:16):
I mean, like, yeah, the less you're able to care about,
the more rich you are, just because like you can
afford to not care about certain things. Is that kind
of like what you're getting at.
Speaker 2 (54:26):
Well, a little bit, I was gonna say. But the
thing that I'm like, I know for a fact I'm
gonna want to keep doing this is traveling for sure.
I mean, I don't think that's something I don't think
I'll ever stop doing, at least until you know. I
have a list of places that I still really want
(54:48):
to go. There's probably a lot of places around the
world that I'll die not having gone to. Like, I
don't know, I mean, let me look at a map here.
I'm gonna just start lifting. I'm just gonna start listing
off countries that I never need to go to.
Speaker 3 (55:05):
I hope you don't put anybody off doing that.
Speaker 2 (55:08):
Well, it's not about I mean, like where I like,
I don't know, am I ever going to go to Belarus?
Maybe I'll go to Belarus, I don't know. I'm trying
to find a country. I'm really trying to find a
place from, Like I don't think I'm ever going to
go there. I want to go to Alaska.
Speaker 3 (55:29):
What about like Antarctic?
Speaker 2 (55:31):
I would love to love to go to the Antarctic.
I'll probably never go to Turkmenistan. I'll probably never go to.
Uh actually, you know what. I'm looking at a map
and I'm like, I actually the actually want to go
to I want to go to Peru. I'm like, all right,
there's actually not as many places as I thought that
(55:53):
I would do that I'll die never going to because
I want to keep going places exactly. I want to
see what's I know, Russia is a whole thing right now,
but maybe when they're not, it'd be it'd be interesting
to see what's going on there. It's fucking huge, look
at it.
Speaker 3 (56:08):
Yes, I have that conversation the end of day about Russia.
I was like, you know, I would consider going there,
maybe like a few years after conflict ends, but you know,
who knows it.
Speaker 2 (56:20):
Yeah, I'd like to see Moscow. It's just it just
seems like such a interesting place where it's sucking cold
and crazy and I don't know, I don't I don't
know anything about it. I don't know any fucking thing
about anything. But uh, yeah, I don't know. That's the
one thing. Like there's a lot of things where I'm
there's a lot of things where I'm like, I don't
(56:41):
need to do that, you know, Yeah, I know, And
I'm not just like in like whatever, skydiving or like
when someone's like you got to go to this restaurant,
I'm like, I'll I don't need to do that ever, ah,
or like a party that is that I don't. There's
(57:01):
a lot of things nowadays where I'm like, I just
don't fucking need to do that. But the one thing
I'll just continue to do is yeah, traveling and seeing stuff.
So uh, I'm with you on that. I think that's
just cool. So did I don't? Did I ask her
already what places are all on your bucket list?
Speaker 3 (57:20):
No? But like right now would be like mostly Southeast Asia.
I'm like, I haven't. I've been to almost I've been
to like so, I've been to Europe, I've been to Asia,
and I've been to South America and obviously live in
North America, but like I just haven't been to Africa yet,
which sucks because like I don't know when I'll be
able to do that, like after I do this like
(57:42):
Southeast Asia trip. It's just like I don't know where
what attractions are cool and like you know, what would
be like perfect, not like perfect, but like ideal, so
like what I would want to see I was thinking
about like maybe Mount Kilimandreuro, but I don't know when
I want to do that, Like that's like different out
(58:02):
of the priority list. But like right now, I'm like
for my graduation trip after this grad program, well, I
want to do like Vietnam on Thailand and maybe like Cambodia,
just because like that's a really cool part of the world.
Speaker 2 (58:13):
I really want to see Cambodia. What's going on in Cambodia?
Speaker 3 (58:18):
Uh like incre Watt. I think, yeah, it's like super remote,
like really ancient, like a lot of history, and it's
like definitely one of the bucket less items I want
to see.
Speaker 2 (58:30):
Mmmmm. So what is it that attracted you so much
to New York that you're so stoked about living here?
Speaker 3 (58:39):
That's a great question. It's pretty much everybody has asked
me that, because like you can get from people from
different broads of the spectrum of like loving the city
life and like just have no idea or like have
zero desire to live in any kind of city. It's like,
so I don't know, like I went't there like right
after like a graduate like undergrad, and I think it's
(59:00):
just like it's reminded me so much of a college
campus where it's like it's super lively, there's public transportation,
and there's always something going on. I think that's like
the main draw of it for me. I've been around
like obviously I was talking about like being around the
world and stuff, but like and there's last cities around
Europe and Asia like that, but like, I don't know,
there's just like no city that I've been to that
(59:22):
has made me feel that I have about New York.
It's really weird. But I also have like this crazy
not like crazy experience, but interesting experience. It was summer.
It's where I was like, I don't know where It's
just like I definitely to come back then.
Speaker 2 (59:38):
What what was the experience?
Speaker 3 (59:43):
This is actually one of the main things I wanted
to talk about calling in So this is like I
don't know, it's a crazy it's kind of a crazy story.
I guess, I guess depending on how you ask. But
there I'm like kind of like connected with this girl.
This girl that like like our parents know each other,
(01:00:04):
and like we've known about each other since we were kids.
My parents like worked for her parents at a restaurant,
and like ever since then we know each other. We
known about each other. We went to the same middle school,
high school, and college, and we never talked until like
this past summer where like, you know, she hit me up.
She saw that like I was living in the city
(01:00:26):
and like we actually connected and actually, like you know,
I was like, wow, this guy girl is actually really cool.
You know, we're from She's also from the same hometown
as me, not in the US, So there's also that
crazy thing like we speak the same language, our native languages,
and like, I don't know, it just looked really crazy
(01:00:48):
how that kind of works out. And like ever since,
like we went on like if we hung out a
few times, and I was like, well, I haven't felt
this way about a person in a very very long time.
And I'm just like unfortunately, I have the leaves and
go back to school and I'll be back in a year.
Like so yeah, like I'm just I don't know. For me,
(01:01:08):
it's like it sucks about how that happened, but like
that's such a crazy like thing for life to happen
that way as well.
Speaker 4 (01:01:16):
Hmmm.
Speaker 2 (01:01:17):
Hmmm, for life to happen in what way.
Speaker 3 (01:01:23):
Like it's I don't know, like more so just like
you know, we've known about each other for so long
and then like we never talked until recently when we're
like adults. It felt like, I don't know, it's like
a weird thing that like I might be just playing
it up too much in my head, but I don't know.
I felt like it's I felt like it was such
(01:01:43):
like a romantic thing, like kind of low key like
movie scirits. Don't want to sound corny about or anything.
Speaker 2 (01:01:51):
Where do you live currently.
Speaker 3 (01:01:54):
Right now? I live in North Carolina?
Speaker 2 (01:01:56):
Okay, well with city in North Carolina. Uh.
Speaker 3 (01:02:00):
I live in the like Raleigh Durham area.
Speaker 2 (01:02:03):
Okay, Okay, So how are you biding your time between
now and when you go back to New York.
Speaker 3 (01:02:11):
Honestly, I've I've just been kind of chilling, just hanging
out with my friends. Really, Like I've like since I
have like a job offer after the grad program, I
like don't really have to do too much anymore since
last year is mostly dedicated to trying to find a job.
So right now, I've just been kind of like chilling
and like I really put a big emphasis on like
(01:02:34):
enjoying them now because, like like I said, like the
past couple of years, my life's been dedicated trying to
get to New York and try and just like looking
forward to that. But now that that's done and I've
like achieved that, I just need to like I like
kind of remember reminding myself and it's like I'm in
grad school right now that like this is a very
unique position that like I'm probably never going to go
(01:02:55):
back to schools for this, So I need to enjoy
being in college. I need to be joy or into
like in a college town being surrounded by like my
friends are like within like such a close distance, because
I know after this, it's not going to be like
this ever again.
Speaker 2 (01:03:11):
Yeah. Yeah, Yeah, that's the weird I mean, that's the
weird thing about life is that it's very transient, and
you try to make sure that you can enjoy things
while you can. But also how do I say this, Like, uh,
whether you enjoy it or you don't enjoy it, it passes anyway,
so I guess might as well enjoy it. Yeah, can
(01:03:32):
You can never you can never hold on to anything.
It always escapes your grip.
Speaker 3 (01:03:38):
Yeah, And it's I started to realize that pretty off,
like relatively often when I was like being abroad and
I realized, like Wow, this is a great moment, but
it's you know, obviously it's not gonna last forever. I
need to like just enjoy it and not worry about
it at all.
Speaker 2 (01:03:57):
What do you say your name was, sir?
Speaker 3 (01:03:59):
I don't remember what I put when I first called in,
but we'll just go with Jared.
Speaker 2 (01:04:05):
Jared, Jared, was there anything else that you wanted to
talk about today before we go?
Speaker 3 (01:04:10):
No, Man, I honestly really appreciate your time. I mean,
I've been listening to you since like I don't know,
very like twenty twenty one, so it's been pretty surreal.
I actually finally got on and like, I really enjoyed
talking to you. It was great and like such a
cool experience.
Speaker 2 (01:04:26):
Thanks brother. Hopefully, you know, I don't know what the
future is like for me and my live stuff, but
you know, hopefully i'll get something going next year in
New York and you can come through. It'll be fun.
Speaker 3 (01:04:38):
Hell yeah, I would love that. I will be there
if you do something in New York.
Speaker 2 (01:04:42):
Beautiful, beautiful, take care, Jared, Good luck, Man.
Speaker 3 (01:04:46):
Thank you, gex I'll see you.
Speaker 2 (01:04:47):
See you.
Speaker 3 (01:04:47):
Man goes on the line. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:04:56):
Just teaching you an expert
Hello, holy shit, I'm actually on with GEK.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
What a baby? How you doing?
Speaker 3 (00:06):
What? Uh?
Speaker 2 (00:07):
I'm better now that you're here, sick. How's life, buddy?
What's going on? Hit me? Hit me in the balls?
Gets get crazy? Come on, baby, come on, come on man,
hit me, sir, hit me, hit me, hit me.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
All right, So I figure I should talk about my
codependency because that's what I talked to about with my
actual therapist.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Sure yeah, sure, sure.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Yeah. So let's see. So I'm in recovery. I'm like
five months clean off of fetanyl.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Congrats, I thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
I normally tell people my my drugs of choice are slow,
which is sex, love, opiates, and women.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Oh, I really only.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Abstained from the opiates. And my therapist is like, I
don't understand how you could literally say that you'd rather
eat dog shit than do dope again, but you can't
abstain from women. And I normally replied with the joke.
I'm like, well, you know, it's hard when they just
throw themselves at me. But I feel like like I
(01:22):
grew up alone a lot, Like I was a latch
tea kid, you know, like I make sure I was
up in time for school, got home, did my homework,
fed myself, showered, make sures in bed bird.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
You know.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
So it's like I seek attention because I didn't have
it as a kid, which I feel like a lot
of people do. But yeah, what are your thoughts on that?
Speaker 2 (01:50):
What are my thoughts on that?
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
My god? Uh slow interesting sex love, opiates women. Opiates
feels like it's the odd one out of that acronym. Yeah,
why opiates? Why is opiates finding itself in that acronym.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Well, it's like I went, I went to rehab like
for the opiates and then come to find out that,
like my codependency was like a bigger issue, Like I'm
addicted to attention.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Yeah, what code the whole codependency thing? What does that
look like? Really?
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Like?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
What is how does that manifest itself? A codependency addiction?
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (02:36):
I like constantly like have to be talking to somebody,
if not like multiple women, because I get that dopamine
hit from the attention.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
But on the like negative end of the spectrum, like
if I get ghosted or like I don't hear back
for a bit. It's like books at my day and
it's like I could like a week or two ago,
I went on this date, and uh, like I didn't
hear back from this girl for like a couple of
(03:08):
days before our date. It went really well, but like
I was like really shitty. I was like, I'm too
gorgeous to be ghosted?
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Is by the way? I can I just say this?
And is this not? Like? Everyone? Is this not most people? Do?
Most people not? And I'm not gonna I don't think
most I don't think it's a universal experience to like
need I mean, it is, of course a lot of
people that are like want to be talking to multiple
people at once, but a lot of people only want
to be talking to one person at once. But it
(03:38):
isn't that a kind of a universal experience to feel
shitty when you've been ghosted?
Speaker 1 (03:42):
I feel like it is, you know.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
So why what do the opiates? Are the opiates just
just a thing on the sidelines, or are they intertwined
in the the sex and love?
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Well, It's like I feel like it was intertwined. Like
I didn't realize it at the time, but after like
going to treatment and stuff, It's like if I was
able to get high and have that sense of ease
and comfort, I didn't have to seek out attention.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Interesting. Yeah, that makes sense. Hmmm mmm yeah. So it's
like you're just kind of trying to fix some chemical,
uh maladjustments in your brain, whether it be through drugs
(04:38):
or through another person.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
Right.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Interesting, M And so how has it been being five
months sober?
Speaker 1 (04:54):
It's pretty cool, Like my they call it like a
pink cloud of early sobriety where you're like, fuck, yeah,
this is the that's kind of coming gone, coming up
some like half a year. So now it's just life.
So I'm trying to live life on life terms. I
(05:15):
do a lot of like volunteer work because they say
that it's a good way to stay sober. I like
help lead like heroin Anonymous meetings, which Heroin Anonymous just
kind of encompasses.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Like all opiates.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
And I do like aa like any sort of like
anonymous program. I volunteer with the special needs like twice
a month and once a week I go to pet
COO and I volunteer with like the place where they
have the like kitten adoptions. Hmm.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
That's that all sounds nice man. Yeah, have you been
enjoying the five months of being sober?
Speaker 3 (05:58):
I have.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
I've made like a move to a new town I'm in.
I'm in Prescott, Arizona. So it's all my friends up
here are sober. You know, I don't know where to
find dope up here. You know. Oh you uh new geography,
(06:19):
you know, it's a new start. M hm.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
And what are you What does sobriety look like in
terms of like sex, are you like upstanding from like
having sex with anyone?
Speaker 1 (06:36):
So they call that emotional sobriety. So it's like anytime
that I would like have sex with somebody, or even
if I'm like talking to people, they call it acting
out right. They have they have a sex and love
addicts anonymous, which I went for a bit, and then
(06:56):
this dude was talking about how he fox dogs and
I was like, this is not I don't think this
is for me.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Wow, yeah, you know what's crazy? I bet And it's
like kind of a something and I know this is
probably an invasion of a sacred space, but uh, you
know when a guy start when a guy is in
a meeting and he starts talking about having sex with dogs,
is everyone else in the meeting like oh shit? Even
I am like that's the lot.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
I feel like they're thinking it, but you're not like
supposed to like comment on something that's well, I mean,
you'd like you can, but you can't like direct it
at them. This is a cross cross like if I interrupt, ye,
if I interrupt wh somebody's sharing, or if I go
(07:47):
to my share and I'm like this, fuck, you know,
we're like I've never you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Like, there's this comedian named there's this comedian named Greg
Roguel and I think he did this joke on an
episode of Louis or maybe I just saw him do
the joke. I don't know, but he has this joke
about Tiger Woods where he's like, you know, they're they're
on the news calling Tiger Woods a sex addict. These
(08:12):
were beautiful women he was having sex with. Now, if
he was having sex with like a dead chicken, I'd
be like, wow, that guy is addicted to sex.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
When when I went to treatment, they were asking me
about like my sexuality and like promiscuity and stuff. I
was like, well, I'm pan sexual, and I guess it's
like you know, when it comes to like sleeping with somebody.
I literally told my therapist, I'm like, if somebody's down
to clown, we're going to the circus, you know, fucking interesting.
(08:46):
I'm gonna get mine, And she was like, I think
you might be a sex addict.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
If someone is down to say that again, if someone
is down to clown, I'm going to the circus.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
If somebody's down to clown, we're going to the circus.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Yeah. I mean I've lived a lot of my life
like that too. Does that make someone a sex addict?
Speaker 1 (09:10):
I mean, are you preoccupied with sex or like relationships?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
What is preoccupied? Man?
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Like, if you think about it often for more than
like thirty seconds at a time.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Do I think about sex for more than thirty seconds
at a.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Time multiple times throughout the day?
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Probably do? Is that not normal?
Speaker 1 (09:38):
I mean I thought it was.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
How many? What's defined multiple?
Speaker 1 (09:46):
I don't they like never told me like an exact number.
But it's like, if I'm preoccupied with it.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Is that? Well? You know what's about is the thing
I saw some TikTok that was like, uh, humans are
our only biological derivative is to have sex. I mean,
if there was truly a god, like, the only actual
meaning of life is to have sex. Like that's the
(10:16):
only like inherent one, So it makes sense. Yeah, that's
the only that's the thing that our bodies are hardwired
to do, is to We're biological programmed for the meaning
of life being to eat and to have sex and reproduce.
That's our like biological hardware or whatever programming. So of
(10:38):
course it's gonna take up, you know, a lot of
brain space, is it not?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Yeah? I think? So?
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Are you thinking about sex right now?
Speaker 1 (10:55):
I mean we're talking about it.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
But like are you thinking yeah, well we're talking like,
are you like thinking about it in like a horny way?
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (11:03):
No, okay, me neither, but I you know, I was.
We are talking about it, yes, which is a step
above thinking about something. Is talking about something. If I
talked about sex multiple times a day all the time,
that would probably be a lot.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Hmm, okay, let me think, Let me think, Let me think,
Let me think. So, what's the future plan for you, sir?
Speaker 1 (11:39):
The future plan?
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Hmm?
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Like just in general or like with this subject.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Let's start start with with this subject and then we
can go into general.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
So with this subject, I feel like it would be
good for me each focus more on myself and not
just like trying to get some tail or, you know,
like trying to find somebody to to fill the hole
within myself that I need to, ye know, do on
(12:14):
my own. You know, like they say, you can't love
somebody until you truly love yourself, because they come, they
become like my whole world, Like I do the whole
like insist treatment, which probably isn't a good thing because
then it's like if they if I like, like if
I lose them, I lose like a part of myself,
(12:35):
which is a healthy.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Yeah yeah, I know, but like, isn't that fucking that's
so stupid, you know. Uh, I'm I'm sorry to react
so strongly, but uh yeah, but it's like, of course
that's it's so it's the one thing. And I was
talking about this, I was rantic about this on the
podcast recently. But it's so stupid to be like that's
(12:59):
not healthy because it's like, you know, it's like saying like, oh,
if my wife died and left, if my wife left
me or cheated on me or died, I would feel
like losing a part of myself and that's not healthy.
It's like, well, it's fucking yea, this is life, you know,
(13:20):
it's supposed to I think, I think, I don't know,
there's something about like therapy and about psycho whatever and
about you know, there's something very sterile in all of this.
Do you know what I mean? Do you are you
picking up what I'm saying, Like I need to have
(13:42):
a perfect emotional whatever with everything, And it's like life
is not sterile. It's beyond our attempts to sterilize it
with therapeutic whatever. That's at least how I feel in
this moment. So I think it's I don't know if
(14:04):
there is a correct way to love. There's things that
are glaringly unhealthy and glaringly toxic, but then there's things
that are just like, well, yeah, you form a connection
with someone because of oxytocin or whatever, and when they
are no longer there, it sucks, you know, And when
(14:25):
they are there, it is good and there's no and
a lot of the emotional sterilization is just attempting to
tempting to avoid the sucks part. But yeah, I mean
that's that that doesn't happen. You know, there's no reason
to believe that you should be exempt from things occasionally sucking,
(14:53):
you know. I mean, yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Guess what I would like an example it being unhealthy.
So like I was with this girl for like four
and a half years, and I was like saving up
her ring and stuff and it didn't work out, you know,
Like I was using at the time, and like she's
just like I can't do this. She actually she like
was prepared to leave me, and then like stayed with
(15:18):
me like through like the first time that I tried
to get sober, which shows like she actually really cared.
And then when we ended up splitting up, I was
gonna like use the money that I saved for the
ring to go to Peru and go to like an
Iowas to retreat, but before I got my passport, I
releft m So it's like it's, you know, is somebody
(15:44):
such a big part of you that you're gonna I
don't know, self sabotage or you know what I'm trying
to say.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Yeah, like you like the concept of like you're filling
a hole, and it's like, well, if it's not this lady,
then it's gonna be fucking drugs.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll fill the hole with another hole.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Yeah yeah. Uh it's weird, make it. I mean, uh,
you know, we all I don't want to get to
and I don't think that this is a bummer. But
it's like, aren't we all kind of filling a hole?
In some sense? Is in a lot? Is in a
lot I'd love to have. I really would love to
(16:27):
talk to more. Uh, you know, get alternative perspectives on
this from you know, whatever philosophy douche bag people there are.
But uh, I mean, isn't a lot of life filling
a hole? I mean, like our like is having friends,
Filling a hole is getting is achieving things. Filling a
hole is like working out, filling a hole, having kids,
(16:51):
having like like all these like positive things. It's all
filling a hole of some kind. Yeah, everyone, Yeah, and
and so I guess it's just about filling the hole
with as much things that are considered positive instead of
negative so that you look back on your life and
you enjoy it. But yeah, you know it feels a
(17:13):
little complicated. I guess.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Yeah, life's the trip.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
What's your name again, Sterling? Sterling? Sterling, Sterling, Sterling? How
did you feel about this phone call? Sterling?
Speaker 1 (17:31):
I was stoke that I actually got on mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
You're you're you're a good guy, Sterling. I like you.
You seem like a nice fella.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Thank you Mike Boy's gig.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Hmmm, I'm trying to is anything I'm trying to think
if there's anything else? This was an interesting thing. Do
you feel like you'll you'll be able to like have
do you do you feel optimistic about your ability to
kind of work on your sexual relationships and have them
be more healthy to your to your definition?
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Yeah, I think so, Like if I actually try to
start working on it.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Would you ever have would you ever have sex with
a dog?
Speaker 3 (18:23):
No?
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Okay, that's good. I don't think that's a good idea.
I don't think that's a good thing to do. Is
there anything else you want to say to the people
of the computer before we go starling?
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Hmmm. It's better to be a dopeless hope addict than
a dopeless than a hopeless dope addict, and don't do drugs. Oh?
Speaker 3 (18:51):
I like that?
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Say that way, hopeless. It's better to be a dopeless.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
A dopeless hope addict than a hopeless dope addict.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
A dopeless hope addict and a hopeless dope addict.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
I like that.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
I like that. She put down a shirt or a
fucking bracelet or whatever.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Yeah, a bumper sicker.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Thanks for calling Sterling. I appreciate you word.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Thank you, Geck.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
They came in. Likewise, that was sterling slow sex love
opiates women. I stole the feel like, Yeah, no, that
all that all makes sense. I think it's bad to
(19:36):
have sex with dogs. I'll say that on the record.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
Hello, Hello, where's your shirt?
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Where's my shirt?
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (19:48):
Where's your shirt?
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Jessica? What's up? How you doing?
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Man?
Speaker 2 (19:53):
How's life?
Speaker 4 (19:56):
I don't do one all right. I decided to call
in today because I figured you'd be interested in my
story on nineteen And to put it simply, I'm going blind.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
You're going blind?
Speaker 4 (20:10):
Yes, So, I have a rare genetic condition called Stargart disease.
It affects one in ten thousand people worldwide, and it
basically like I'm losing my central vision. So it's supposed
to deteriorate over time until all I really have is peripheral.
But my perferal vision could go to So.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
How do you know I'm not wearing like a skin color.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
Shirt because I have Well that's a good question. But anyway,
I have a lot of functional vision at the moment,
so I can see a lot of things, but I
have a hard time reading, recognizing faces and things like that.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
You know, but what, yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
The thing is I got bullied in high school because
people didn't believe me.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Whoa what.
Speaker 4 (21:16):
Well, first of all, people would say, oh, yeah, she
pretends to be blind because my vision will fluctuate. Sometimes
it's better, sometimes it's worse. And I would use a
white cane to get around sometimes, and people say, oh, yeah,
she doesn't use a cannel all the time. She's pretending
to be blind, or like I knew her, you know,
because I got diagnosed at thirteen. I didn't always know
(21:37):
I was going blind. Something was wrong with my vision,
but I didn't have the tools to help me. So
people are like, yeah, I knew her before, and she
wasn't blind before. People would step in front of me,
throw things at me, you know, the usual.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Wow, crazy crazy. So what are so? You're nineteen us?
Speaker 3 (22:00):
Are you?
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Are you going to school? Are you? What are you
doing now? I assume you've graduated high school? Right? What
are you doing now?
Speaker 4 (22:08):
Yeah? So I took a gap year to kind of
figure out what I wanted to do, especially like things
that I could do. I want to like two different
Like I don't know if you ever hear there's like
camps and stuff for people. I feel like there's like
a camp for kids with epilepsy and shit like that.
(22:28):
I went to two blind camps, camps for blind kids,
and that's kind of where I found that I can
be a nurse, which is something that I wanted to do.
So I'm going into a nursing program in December.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Cool. Cool? Yeah, is that something that you think your
condition will affect your ability to do.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
In a way.
Speaker 4 (22:56):
I'm only going for my LPN, so that's a step
above a CNA and a step below and aren So
there might be some things that I won't be able
to do, like give an IV or take blood, et cetera.
But not all nurses that have to perform those functions.
I mean you should know how. But as long as
(23:18):
I get through the school, I spoke to someone from
the board of nursing, as long as I graduate from
the program, I can become a nurse.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Cool. Cool hmm. So what's your situation like at home? Like,
are your parents helping you out? And you like, is
everyone supportive and whatnot?
Speaker 4 (23:44):
Yeah, my parents are very supportive, so are my brothers.
You know, I can't drive, so My parents are always,
you know, open to giving me rides wherever I need
to go. I have a pretty good support system, I'd say,
I have some blind friends to so that helps.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Really, where'd you meet these other blind friends?
Speaker 4 (24:06):
Blind camp?
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Blind camp? What's I got to know everything about blind camp?
Speaker 4 (24:12):
Yes, I'd love to tell you. So the first one
I went to, and I never knew this was a thing.
So I got diagnosed when I was thirteen, and that
was COVID. And then I went back to school and
I had a vision teacher to teach me things like
brail and whatnot. But she told me about these blind camps.
I'm like, what on earth are you talking about? And
(24:35):
I found out that through government funded organizations like the
Center for the Blind and Visually Appaired at least that's
what's in my state. I live in Pennsylvania every summer
and there's a camp at the CBBI Center where kids
go for free and we spend about like three weeks
(24:56):
in dorms and we learn things like how to navigate
the world, you know, with vision loss. So we learned
kitchen skills, technology skills, communication skills, career skills, do some
braille orientation and mobility, and also we do fun things
(25:16):
on the weekend.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
What kinds of fun things do you guys do on
the weekends?
Speaker 4 (25:23):
Oh my god, So I forget what the place is called.
It's like you go and it's like it's called medieval Times.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
I think, oh, you guys, the medieval times.
Speaker 4 (25:37):
Yeah, some people were pissed off. The completely blind kids
were kind of pissed off because they couldn't see anything,
but the food was good.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Well there, I mean, I mean, you know, what what
do you what are you gonna do? I guess you
could go to like a fucking orchestra or a concert
or something something more auditory than Medieval Times. Yeah, the
blind No, Actually, the blind kids have a point. They've
got a point. What the fuck is the point. It's
like saying, hey, we're gonna go I'll go see a
movie or something.
Speaker 4 (26:07):
Oh we did?
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Why?
Speaker 4 (26:12):
Well, So for blind people, you can request special headphones
that tell you what's going on in the movie. Every
movie has it. It's called auditory description that you can
turn on, so it tells you what's happening in the movie.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
Basically, Wow, No, okay, I knew about that, But is
that like a thing that you just can go to
any movie theater and request.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
Oh yeah, my brother works at a movie theater too,
so I mean, most of the time the headphones don't work,
so I need someone next to me to tell me
what's going on. But they do have that.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
M What movie did you see?
Speaker 4 (26:51):
It was the live action of the Little Mermaids. That's
the one that I saw. We had two choices. I
don't remember what the other choice was. I don't I
don't remember what with that at the time, but that's
what I decided to see. It was all right, it
was good.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Uh so, what did any drama ever go down in
blind camp?
Speaker 4 (27:11):
This one necessarily no, But then one I went to
at Penn State, we definitely had drama. So that was
the following year. It was ten days long. You know,
it's learning how to navigate college life. And my roommate
was the most insufferable person. Insufferable person on this planet,
(27:36):
I believe.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Really.
Speaker 4 (27:38):
Okay, so my roommate, oh my god, her name is Ada,
but she always told us to call her this name,
and I don't remember what it was either. But at first,
you know, we were all understanding that she's on the spectrum.
I'm on the spectrum too, so I understand being socially awkward,
(27:59):
not understand social cues and whatnot, maybe being a little annoying.
But this girl pissed me off so bad. Okay, let
me tell you one of the things that she did.
I remember we were talking, so she has a lot
of provisions, a lot worse than one. And I remember
she was telling me, well, well, you're lucky. You're lucky
(28:19):
you get to see better than me. You know that.
Why would you say that to me? Why would you
say that to me? I remember I was doing my
makeup in the dorm and everyone's waiting on me. So
my friend asked, hey, like, ado, where Jessica. She's like,
she's putting on her face paint or whatever. I don't
like makeup or something. I don't know. That wasn't all
(28:46):
of it, though, I'm trying to remember, because I like
the thing is, I remember that feeling of how irritating
she was, but it's kind of hard to recall like
everything that she did, so I'm gonna be.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
There are a hierarchy of in terms of like, like,
are like the most popular kids at blind camp? Are
they the more blind kids or the less blind kids?
Speaker 3 (29:09):
Like?
Speaker 4 (29:09):
Who know the funny ones.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
The funny ones is there? There's no like uh uh
cast system based on who is more or less blind.
Speaker 4 (29:23):
I mean, like some of us are, okay, not a
social hierarchy. I got a little confused there. So some
kids are more, some kids are completely blind, some kids
can see shadows. It really depends. Some kids have spots
in their vision, some kids have tunnel vision. Your vision,
(29:43):
I think needs to be a certain amount of terrible
to get in, and I get it. I got in
both of them. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
Mmm, do you still hang out with anyone from blind Camp?
They still talk to any of them?
Speaker 3 (30:00):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (30:01):
Yeah, my friend Wendy, she's sleeping over tomorrow night. I
believe she has a stigmatism, which is when you're like
eyeballs or not shaped the right way, and the stagnus,
which is when your eyeball is constantly like shake back
and forth. So that's that's her blind story. But I
(30:22):
only ever met one person with my disease, because it's
that rare, because one in ten thousand. You hear that,
but I looked it up because I'm terrible with statistics
and numbers. That's point zero one percent of the population worldwide.
Mm I you know, it's it's a it's a pretty
(30:43):
lonely feeling. Not gonna lie, but you know, my friend
Wendy's coming over tomorrow, so that's cool.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
Hm hmmm.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
I'm trying to think if I have any other any
other questions about blind Camp. Is it true that your
other senses start to become stronger.
Speaker 4 (31:15):
Not unintentionally. You have to learn those things yourself. It's
not like you go blind and suddenly you have a
heightened sense of touch, smell, hearing. You have to learn
to utilize those things in such a way on your own.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
And have you done that with any of your other senses?
Speaker 4 (31:38):
Yeah? I would touch. Learning brail is really hard because you, like,
look at it, it is so small you can barely
know what you're feeling. When I first started learning braille,
I was like, what is this? What is this? Because
I just couldn't tell what letter was what. It's actually
(32:01):
really difficult, but eventually you get used to it. As
far as me hearing goes, I can never tell what
anyone's saying, but that's just because I suck at the
auditory processing aspect of it.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
What do you want the people listening to this podcast
to know about being blind? That maybe they haven't thought
about before.
Speaker 4 (32:26):
I'm going to This is the part where I'm probably
going to talk a lot. This is why I wanted
to get on here. Oh okay, Yeah, so I did
say that I got bullied in high school because people
did not believe me. You don't understand my high school
had thirty. Let me go back with this number, like
(32:52):
it's a really big high school.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Hold on, I'm sorry, your high school thirty? What?
Speaker 4 (32:57):
Hold on?
Speaker 3 (32:58):
Huh?
Speaker 4 (32:58):
I need to look at the exact because I'm on
the spot right now, you know.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Yeah, thirty thirty thousand, no.
Speaker 4 (33:10):
Not thirty, Okay, three thousand, two hundred and ten students.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
That's pretty crazy for a high school. That it's a lot.
Speaker 4 (33:19):
And to feel like I had that entire school going
up against me was a lot. I didn't know who
I could trust. There was this one girl that I
thought I trusted, you know, we grew up knowing each other.
She had heard everything I had to say in class.
I had this one class. It was a small class.
It was like emotional support, math or something. I don't know. Anyways,
(33:44):
she heard all the things that I had to deal with,
and still she went behind my back and told people. Yeah,
she actually does pretend to be blind. So I found
her in the hallway one day and I was pissed off.
I swung at her and well, I missed, And so
you know, what does that tell you? Ignorance when it
(34:07):
comes to disabilities like this can do a lot of damage.
I in my senior year, I had really thought about
taking my life because I couldn't deal with it anymore.
The constant harassment, people going behind my back, who I
thought I could trust in spreading this rumor. It was awful,
(34:32):
It really was. I felt like I felt like an amusement,
a circus class. People would laugh at me in the hallways,
take pictures of me, take videos of me, like I
was some zoo animal. It was. It was ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
And how did you feel once you graduated a lot better?
Speaker 4 (35:04):
I didn't have to deal with that anymore. I mean,
there's still people saying those things about me. But what
am I gonna do? You know, I still live in
my hometown. I'm only nineteen. I can't get away from
these people. But I just I hope that one day
(35:24):
these people that harass me will realize what they had
done and that blindness is a spectrum. There are all
different kinds of blindness. It's not you're blind or you're not,
or you wear glasses or you don't. Right, I'm losing
my central vision and that's something I have to live
with on top of the bullying that I dealt with.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
Are you optimistic for the future in general?
Speaker 4 (35:50):
I definitely am great. I think my past might haunt
me forever, but that's okay because going into this nursing program,
I feel right about it. I feel like this might
be the best thing for me.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
In what way do you feel like the past will
haunt you forever?
Speaker 4 (36:10):
I graduated two years ago and I still think about
it all the time. The bullying that I dealt with
it was really bad. I mean, like I just every
time I passed by I could hear people talking about
Not every time, but you know, the paranoia that set
(36:31):
in with these kinds of things, going around and feeling
like no one would believe you. On top of being
recently told that I was going blind. People didn't believe
me and they were not nice sometime in trust me.
Just things like that, there's emotions they stick with you
(36:55):
for a long time.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
M Do you feel like you have a pretty good
community with I mean, you know, both both your friends
from blind Camp and other friends.
Speaker 4 (37:10):
Yeah, I do. I don't have a lot of friends
outside of blind Camp. That is a whole nother story.
I lost them my friends in high school. But yeah,
I mean my blind friends are you know, people that
I can fall back on, lean on. But I feel
(37:32):
like no one else understands me.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 4 (37:38):
Pretty weird people.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Yeah, in what way?
Speaker 4 (37:44):
Okay? So between my boyfriend and I, my boyfriend's watching
this live stream right now. Oh my god, say hi Eden,
say hi to him? Please?
Speaker 2 (37:56):
Is he here?
Speaker 3 (37:58):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (37:59):
Oh? Does he want? He can say hi if he wants.
Speaker 4 (38:03):
No, I'll say, you say hi to him. He's watching
the live stream.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Oh wait, you said what you're saying me say hi
to him?
Speaker 4 (38:09):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (38:09):
I don't even. I don't even is he like here here?
I mean, like, is he with next to you?
Speaker 3 (38:15):
No?
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Oh, well, if if he's next, I'll say, I don't
know if he's next to you.
Speaker 4 (38:21):
It's okay. It's the privilege to be acknowledged by the gecko. Anyhow,
the nine eleven jokes went crazy at the second line Camp.
I want to I don't know what that was about
to be honest, I feel like that.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
Go ahead.
Speaker 4 (38:41):
So when we first all met each other our first
day at the Penn State camp, we have this objective.
We all got got put into groups and we were
given like these I don't remember what they're called. They're
like rods and stuff. You put them in the whole
kids play with them. It's it's really hard to explain,
(39:04):
but if you saw it, you know what I'm talking about.
But anyways, it's a group activity, who can build the
tallest tower whatever. My group kind of got sidetracked and
started building the twin towers, the plane and the Pentagon.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
Interesting. Interesting today? Get today? I get mad at you guys.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
No, I mean, no, you weren't even.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Alive when nine to eleven happened.
Speaker 4 (39:35):
No, I was.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
You aren't even alive? Nope, I don't think. I don't
think it was, are you. I don't think. Are you
saying that nine to eleven wasn't your idea?
Speaker 4 (39:53):
Well, that wasn't my idea either.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
I think it was how did you meet your boyfriend?
Speaker 4 (40:00):
So he used to work at it nifty fifties? You
know what that is? Right? He's little restaurant's supposed to
be like the fifties or whatever.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
No, I know, I don't know a place called uh
chea burger chea burger, but I don't know a nifty fifties.
Speaker 4 (40:20):
So it's basically like it's like imagine kind of like
it's to sit in. It's like a burger joint, fast
food place, kind of saying restaurant, but it's supposed to
be themed like the fifties. Anyways, I went there with
my friend Natalie, she's on my friend anymost fucked that bitch,
but I'll get into that in a moment. But anyways,
(40:43):
I saw him. He was my waiter, and I thought
he was cute, like you know, he got He was
close enough so I could actually see his face, and
I thought he was cute. So I left my number
and he texted me and we started going on dates
from there. And it's like a year and a half later.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
So why don't you Why don't you like this lady
that you just said you don't like?
Speaker 4 (41:09):
Oh my sorry, So Natalie, I remember in my second
blind camp, I was flaming this bitch, but I decided
to talk to her again after her mom died. But
she when I say secret animas, So do you like
some friends are not your friends. This girl was jealous
of me before I met Aiden. I'd be talking to
(41:32):
other guys and whatnot, and she would see if she
could talk to them too, or she'd be like, oh
my god, call lease share him.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
Okay, okay, what will do?
Speaker 4 (41:43):
Is that appropriate behavior?
Speaker 3 (41:45):
Right?
Speaker 2 (41:45):
And and this is a person who used to be
your friends?
Speaker 4 (41:49):
Oh? Absolutely? I just like.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
And this is what? When when did you stop being
friends with this girl? Like when you were seventeen or something?
Speaker 1 (42:00):
Then?
Speaker 2 (42:01):
Yeah, okay, well listen, here's let me tell you something.
I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna act like a fucking
I'm gonna go you know what. You know what, everyone,
I'm going unk mode from now on, no more being,
no more of this passive bullshit. I'm going straight up
unk mode. I refuse to not Okay, here's what I'm
gonna do. I'm gonna go uncomode. Listen, here's the thing
(42:23):
you're gonna One day, You're gonna you're gonna be uh
an old lady, and you're gonna realize that when you
were seventeen, not only were you incredibly immature and stupid,
but everyone around you was incredibly immature and stupid. Not
(42:43):
your fault that you're incredibly immature and stupid, but the
fault of the fact that you're seventeen and you're in
high school. And so I'm gonna tell you something. You
can either recognize that and let go of your anger now.
You could do it when you're in your fifties, or
(43:04):
you could hold on to it forever and die. So
she is, yeah, do you still hang out with her?
Speaker 3 (43:17):
No?
Speaker 4 (43:18):
She she's two hours away now, but she keeps harassing
me in any possible way she can find.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
What do you I don't what is she in your life?
Or is she what do you mean? What do you mean?
Speaker 3 (43:30):
Like?
Speaker 2 (43:30):
Is she your friends?
Speaker 4 (43:32):
I don't want her to be my friend. She thinks
we're friends, and that's like fucked up of me to do.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
I'm aware, Okay, all right, wow.
Speaker 4 (43:41):
So I finally stopped talking to her when she told
me that she would never date a blind person. That's
too far for her. She draws the line because she
wants them to be able to see her and what
she looks like.
Speaker 2 (43:58):
And she said, hold on, all right, all right, okay,
I'll I'll let you finish.
Speaker 4 (44:04):
She said, I already have a hard time being friends
with you because you're losing your vision, because I want
you to see me. I have a hard time staying
friends with you because of that.
Speaker 2 (44:15):
The second, that's a stupid thing to say, But saying
that they want that, that she wants to not date
another blind guy, it's totally fair. I'm gonna say that's
totally fair.
Speaker 1 (44:25):
She said that to.
Speaker 4 (44:26):
The wrong person, you know, I it's okay to think that.
Some I just felt as though that was an inside thought.
Speaker 2 (44:37):
I I feel like, if you're well, it's superb because
I think if I were blind, i'd want to date
a non blind person because too, if we're both blind,
then you know you're the blind leading the blind. You
know that expression absolutely at least one person. I think
it's helpful. It's helpful for at least one person to
(44:58):
not be blind. I think it's a it's a strong
logistical play that she's talking about right now. I don't
think she should be faulted for it, but I no,
I agree it was a dick move to say that
that you that she doesn't want to be friends with
you because you're blind. That was a dick move. But
I don't know. I don't know anything about this lady
(45:18):
that you are friends with that you hate. She could
be She's probably fine, she's probably fine. You're I'm sorry,
She's probably fine.
Speaker 4 (45:31):
It's not that probably.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
But but but anyway, fuck, give me your name one
more time. Jessica, Jessica. And and you know what, you're
fine too. You're gonna go into medication and you can
go into nursing. It's gonna be good. You know it'll
(46:01):
be It'll be good, It'll be good. Well, what was
your experience of this phone call? How did this phone
call feel to you? Was this helpful in any way?
Was this anything? Was this anything? I'm sorry, I'm today,
I'm I'm today is a fucking weird ass to day
and I'm and I'm just I don't know if I'm
doing this well today, but I but I but I
(46:23):
I'm doing it. Go ahead.
Speaker 4 (46:25):
You kind of put some things into perspective for me.
As far as you know, my relationship with Nattalie, we're
all fucking immature. In the end, it doesn't completely matter.
I mean, as long as we are treating each other
with basically respect, that that is what matters. At the
(46:47):
end of the day. You know, it's not something to
whip my head off over, you know.
Speaker 2 (46:53):
Okay, good, good, well, Jessica, is there anything else you
want to say to the people as a computer before
we go?
Speaker 4 (47:04):
Yeah, just you know, everyone be nice, to be nice
to disable people. I feel like people are either overly
nice or they are overly ignorant. You know, two things
can be true at the same time. Also, but I
just don't want someone else to go through what I
(47:24):
went through as far as the bullying goes, you know,
keep an open mind.
Speaker 2 (47:29):
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Jessica. I
appreciate it great.
Speaker 4 (47:33):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
Bye bye.
Speaker 3 (47:41):
From Jared. Hello, Hello, what's up.
Speaker 2 (47:48):
How's it going?
Speaker 1 (47:48):
Man?
Speaker 3 (47:50):
That's too bad? Honestly pretty good? Low key pretty good?
Speaker 2 (47:55):
Why is it going low key pretty good?
Speaker 3 (47:59):
I don't know, Like I would say, like, the past
three years has been pretty great. I've had some pretty
good opportunities to travel the world, and like I was
actually recently able to accomplish a really big dream something
that like I've been working towards two for the past
like and I wanted to say, like three and a
(48:19):
half four years.
Speaker 2 (48:20):
Oh shit, I lay it on us man.
Speaker 3 (48:25):
Okay, yeah, I mean, like the big dreams that like
actually happened was I visited. I visited New York City
like for the first time, like in twenty nineteen and
ever since then, I was like, fuck, I need to
be here, like this is like the place I want
to live. And I recently got a job offered to
(48:46):
start there in like June, and I was living there
over the summer as well, and it was such a
good experience.
Speaker 2 (48:54):
Cool, cool, cool, what what what job?
Speaker 3 (49:00):
I'm basically just another corporate live at a bank.
Speaker 2 (49:05):
You gonna get to live You're gonna get to live
in New York.
Speaker 3 (49:08):
Though, Yeah, that's a big thing. It's it was like
so surreal over the summer because it's like wow, like
I finally accomplished this dream and like I yeah, I
just was not something I actually expected to actually happen,
because I don't know. But like right now, I'm just
kind of like, I what else is the next That's
(49:29):
kind of what I've been struggling with.
Speaker 2 (49:31):
Interesting, Okay, so well let's talk because where in New
York are you?
Speaker 3 (49:40):
So right now? Actually right now, I'm not living in
New York. I'll be in New York. I'll be back
in New York like in the summer because right now,
I'm in a grad program, so I'll be back when
I once I finished your program.
Speaker 2 (49:51):
Oh wait, you'll be back. Oh wait, you're you're You're
going to New York in the summer of next year.
Speaker 3 (49:56):
Yeah, yeah, like full time jobs. Yeah, and then this
past I was in the city. Just do an internship
over the summer.
Speaker 2 (50:03):
Oh okay, all right, so you are going to Okuess
you don't live in New York, but you are guaranteed
a job that will allow you to live in New
York in about.
Speaker 3 (50:13):
A year exactly.
Speaker 2 (50:15):
Yeah, okay, very cool. Where do you want to live there?
Speaker 3 (50:21):
It depends on the market, but like, ideally I would
love to live in the East Village again because that
was such a good experience for a few reasons. I mean,
the restaurants a were great, the bar seiers there is great.
The age there is a little too young for me maybe,
but like I would STI love to live there.
Speaker 2 (50:40):
How old are you?
Speaker 3 (50:42):
I am in my late twenties, Okay, I remember when
I first visit in East Village was like relatively I mean,
I could be wrong, this is just from my own perspective,
but like when I first was there, I felt like
the East Village is more for like mid to late twenties,
while like I don't know, neighborhoods maybe Murray Hill and
like Hips Bay was more for like real post undergrad
(51:04):
type vibes there. But now it's like getting younger and younger.
I feel like, yeah, you think have you seen yeah,
have you seen that in your experience so far?
Speaker 2 (51:13):
I totally. I mean there's certain parts, like a Lower
east Side is like huge, you know, like a lot.
I mean, like you know, NYU kids are all over
the Lower east Side, But you know, I don't know.
That's the funny thing, right, is because those kids, like
I guess I don't know how many of them when
they get out of like college age, are going to
(51:35):
stay in New York City. So it seems like that
it's just going to keep being like a rotating a
batch of eighteen to twenty two year olds just kind
of like coming in and out.
Speaker 3 (51:47):
Yeah. Yeah, that's I feel like that's always been like
the tradition of like those specific neighborhoods in the city,
just because like of how crazy it is, Like I know,
there's like a big like controversial thing too of like
how people are fluctuating, like you said there's a lot
of turnover in the city because of like how hectic
it is, and like you know, there's like a very
(52:09):
few like real New Yorkers. But that's a whole different thing,
I feel.
Speaker 2 (52:12):
Like, And you said that the past three years have
been really really good. Why have the past three years
been really really good?
Speaker 3 (52:21):
I've had some I mean, I consider myself really lucky
and really blessed to have opportunities to travel the world.
And like I get took my first year of trip
back in like right when I graduated undergrad and like
I've been addicted to go and like growing abroad and
like seeing the world since then, and like every year
I've had the opportunity to go abroad and it's been
(52:42):
such a great experience. And like a few of the
past two years I've been able to like build a
multiple trips to different countries, so that's been like even
even great, and like you know that on top of
like you know, actually accomplishing dream, it's been like such
a great time and like I don't know, the I
just yeah, super appreciative of like what I've been able
(53:03):
to see, the places I've been able to go. And
then like I have plans to keep on traveling as well.
Speaker 2 (53:09):
Nice, Nice, Nice. Where else do you want to go?
Speaker 3 (53:13):
Actually my groad trip, I've been trying to plant it out.
I want to go to Vietnam and Southeast Asia. I
really want to do the I could be pronounced it incorrectly,
but I really want to do the ha Gian Loop.
I know it's like really popular, but like I've seen
videos on like TikTok and Instagram. I's like I need
to experience like that looks beautiful, Like that's something I
(53:35):
just really want to go.
Speaker 2 (53:37):
Cool. Yeah, you know, it's interesting. I think, you know,
of all the things that I the older I get
and the more I've kind of achieved in my life,
the more apathetic I actually become towards a lot of things.
The amount of things that I truly care about has
(53:57):
gone has gone down over the years, which which has
pros and cons. I think that a man is rich
in proportion to the amount of things he's he can
afford to let alone. You know that phrase, Yeah, I
kind of agree with that.
Speaker 3 (54:16):
I mean, like, yeah, the less you're able to care about,
the more rich you are, just because like you can
afford to not care about certain things. Is that kind
of like what you're getting at.
Speaker 2 (54:26):
Well, a little bit, I was gonna say. But the
thing that I'm like, I know for a fact I'm
gonna want to keep doing this is traveling for sure.
I mean, I don't think that's something I don't think
I'll ever stop doing, at least until you know. I
have a list of places that I still really want
(54:48):
to go. There's probably a lot of places around the
world that I'll die not having gone to. Like, I
don't know, I mean, let me look at a map here.
I'm gonna just start lifting. I'm just gonna start listing
off countries that I never need to go to.
Speaker 3 (55:05):
I hope you don't put anybody off doing that.
Speaker 2 (55:08):
Well, it's not about I mean, like where I like,
I don't know, am I ever going to go to Belarus?
Maybe I'll go to Belarus, I don't know. I'm trying
to find a country. I'm really trying to find a
place from, Like I don't think I'm ever going to
go there. I want to go to Alaska.
Speaker 3 (55:29):
What about like Antarctic?
Speaker 2 (55:31):
I would love to love to go to the Antarctic.
I'll probably never go to Turkmenistan. I'll probably never go to.
Uh actually, you know what. I'm looking at a map
and I'm like, I actually the actually want to go
to I want to go to Peru. I'm like, all right,
there's actually not as many places as I thought that
(55:53):
I would do that I'll die never going to because
I want to keep going places exactly. I want to
see what's I know, Russia is a whole thing right now,
but maybe when they're not, it'd be it'd be interesting
to see what's going on there. It's fucking huge, look
at it.
Speaker 3 (56:08):
Yes, I have that conversation the end of day about Russia.
I was like, you know, I would consider going there,
maybe like a few years after conflict ends, but you know,
who knows it.
Speaker 2 (56:20):
Yeah, I'd like to see Moscow. It's just it just
seems like such a interesting place where it's sucking cold
and crazy and I don't know, I don't I don't
know anything about it. I don't know any fucking thing
about anything. But uh, yeah, I don't know. That's the
one thing. Like there's a lot of things where I'm
there's a lot of things where I'm like, I don't
(56:41):
need to do that, you know, Yeah, I know, And
I'm not just like in like whatever, skydiving or like
when someone's like you got to go to this restaurant,
I'm like, I'll I don't need to do that ever, ah,
or like a party that is that I don't. There's
(57:01):
a lot of things nowadays where I'm like, I just
don't fucking need to do that. But the one thing
I'll just continue to do is yeah, traveling and seeing stuff.
So uh, I'm with you on that. I think that's
just cool. So did I don't? Did I ask her
already what places are all on your bucket list?
Speaker 3 (57:20):
No? But like right now would be like mostly Southeast Asia.
I'm like, I haven't. I've been to almost I've been
to like so, I've been to Europe, I've been to Asia,
and I've been to South America and obviously live in
North America, but like I just haven't been to Africa yet,
which sucks because like I don't know when I'll be
able to do that, like after I do this like
(57:42):
Southeast Asia trip. It's just like I don't know where
what attractions are cool and like you know, what would
be like perfect, not like perfect, but like ideal, so
like what I would want to see I was thinking
about like maybe Mount Kilimandreuro, but I don't know when
I want to do that, Like that's like different out
(58:02):
of the priority list. But like right now, I'm like
for my graduation trip after this grad program, well, I
want to do like Vietnam on Thailand and maybe like Cambodia,
just because like that's a really cool part of the world.
Speaker 2 (58:13):
I really want to see Cambodia. What's going on in Cambodia?
Speaker 3 (58:18):
Uh like incre Watt. I think, yeah, it's like super remote,
like really ancient, like a lot of history, and it's
like definitely one of the bucket less items I want
to see.
Speaker 2 (58:30):
Mmmmm. So what is it that attracted you so much
to New York that you're so stoked about living here?
Speaker 3 (58:39):
That's a great question. It's pretty much everybody has asked
me that, because like you can get from people from
different broads of the spectrum of like loving the city
life and like just have no idea or like have
zero desire to live in any kind of city. It's like,
so I don't know, like I went't there like right
after like a graduate like undergrad, and I think it's
(59:00):
just like it's reminded me so much of a college
campus where it's like it's super lively, there's public transportation,
and there's always something going on. I think that's like
the main draw of it for me. I've been around
like obviously I was talking about like being around the
world and stuff, but like and there's last cities around
Europe and Asia like that, but like, I don't know,
there's just like no city that I've been to that
(59:22):
has made me feel that I have about New York.
It's really weird. But I also have like this crazy
not like crazy experience, but interesting experience. It was summer.
It's where I was like, I don't know where It's
just like I definitely to come back then.
Speaker 2 (59:38):
What what was the experience?
Speaker 3 (59:43):
This is actually one of the main things I wanted
to talk about calling in So this is like I
don't know, it's a crazy it's kind of a crazy story.
I guess, I guess depending on how you ask. But
there I'm like kind of like connected with this girl.
This girl that like like our parents know each other,
(01:00:04):
and like we've known about each other since we were kids.
My parents like worked for her parents at a restaurant,
and like ever since then we know each other. We
known about each other. We went to the same middle school,
high school, and college, and we never talked until like
this past summer where like, you know, she hit me up.
She saw that like I was living in the city
(01:00:26):
and like we actually connected and actually, like you know,
I was like, wow, this guy girl is actually really cool.
You know, we're from She's also from the same hometown
as me, not in the US, So there's also that
crazy thing like we speak the same language, our native languages,
and like, I don't know, it just looked really crazy
(01:00:48):
how that kind of works out. And like ever since,
like we went on like if we hung out a
few times, and I was like, well, I haven't felt
this way about a person in a very very long time.
And I'm just like unfortunately, I have the leaves and
go back to school and I'll be back in a year.
Like so yeah, like I'm just I don't know. For me,
(01:01:08):
it's like it sucks about how that happened, but like
that's such a crazy like thing for life to happen
that way as well.
Speaker 4 (01:01:16):
Hmmm.
Speaker 2 (01:01:17):
Hmmm, for life to happen in what way.
Speaker 3 (01:01:23):
Like it's I don't know, like more so just like
you know, we've known about each other for so long
and then like we never talked until recently when we're
like adults. It felt like, I don't know, it's like
a weird thing that like I might be just playing
it up too much in my head, but I don't know.
I felt like it's I felt like it was such
(01:01:43):
like a romantic thing, like kind of low key like
movie scirits. Don't want to sound corny about or anything.
Speaker 2 (01:01:51):
Where do you live currently.
Speaker 3 (01:01:54):
Right now? I live in North Carolina?
Speaker 2 (01:01:56):
Okay, well with city in North Carolina. Uh.
Speaker 3 (01:02:00):
I live in the like Raleigh Durham area.
Speaker 2 (01:02:03):
Okay, Okay, So how are you biding your time between
now and when you go back to New York.
Speaker 3 (01:02:11):
Honestly, I've I've just been kind of chilling, just hanging
out with my friends. Really, Like I've like since I
have like a job offer after the grad program, I
like don't really have to do too much anymore since
last year is mostly dedicated to trying to find a job.
So right now, I've just been kind of like chilling
and like I really put a big emphasis on like
(01:02:34):
enjoying them now because, like like I said, like the
past couple of years, my life's been dedicated trying to
get to New York and try and just like looking
forward to that. But now that that's done and I've
like achieved that, I just need to like I like
kind of remember reminding myself and it's like I'm in
grad school right now that like this is a very
unique position that like I'm probably never going to go
(01:02:55):
back to schools for this, So I need to enjoy
being in college. I need to be joy or into
like in a college town being surrounded by like my
friends are like within like such a close distance, because
I know after this, it's not going to be like
this ever again.
Speaker 2 (01:03:11):
Yeah. Yeah, Yeah, that's the weird I mean, that's the
weird thing about life is that it's very transient, and
you try to make sure that you can enjoy things
while you can. But also how do I say this, Like, uh,
whether you enjoy it or you don't enjoy it, it passes anyway,
so I guess might as well enjoy it. Yeah, can
(01:03:32):
You can never you can never hold on to anything.
It always escapes your grip.
Speaker 3 (01:03:38):
Yeah, And it's I started to realize that pretty off,
like relatively often when I was like being abroad and
I realized, like Wow, this is a great moment, but
it's you know, obviously it's not gonna last forever. I
need to like just enjoy it and not worry about
it at all.
Speaker 2 (01:03:57):
What do you say your name was, sir?
Speaker 3 (01:03:59):
I don't remember what I put when I first called in,
but we'll just go with Jared.
Speaker 2 (01:04:05):
Jared, Jared, was there anything else that you wanted to
talk about today before we go?
Speaker 3 (01:04:10):
No, Man, I honestly really appreciate your time. I mean,
I've been listening to you since like I don't know,
very like twenty twenty one, so it's been pretty surreal.
I actually finally got on and like, I really enjoyed
talking to you. It was great and like such a
cool experience.
Speaker 2 (01:04:26):
Thanks brother. Hopefully, you know, I don't know what the
future is like for me and my live stuff, but
you know, hopefully i'll get something going next year in
New York and you can come through. It'll be fun.
Speaker 3 (01:04:38):
Hell yeah, I would love that. I will be there
if you do something in New York.
Speaker 2 (01:04:42):
Beautiful, beautiful, take care, Jared, Good luck, Man.
Speaker 3 (01:04:46):
Thank you, gex I'll see you.
Speaker 2 (01:04:47):
See you.
Speaker 3 (01:04:47):
Man goes on the line. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:04:56):
Just teaching you an expert
Host
Lyle Drescher
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