It’s The Best Of Episodes 36-40!

The best of This Is Important from episodes 36 through 40.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the
show where we only talk about what is most obviously
very crucially important.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
And we're back.

Speaker 3 (00:21):
Whoa, you got a bunch of them?

Speaker 2 (00:23):
Well you missed it.

Speaker 4 (00:24):
We were all kind of doing it together as a group,
and you kind of you, you held out and you
wanted your own time to shine.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
I respect that about you, Blake right.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
Yep. I'm trying to just kind of segue into my
own personal podcast where it's never any speaking from me.
It's just sound bites.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
Hey, I'd listen and just you Yep, this is important.

Speaker 4 (00:43):
Yeah, this is Important's what you bring to the table,
mostly for our podcast as well, So I think you'd
be pretty good.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
No speaking.

Speaker 4 (00:52):
It kind of you know, from listening to our podcast.
My attention kind of dips when you're telling a story
or doing something.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
But once you hit that button, fire baby.

Speaker 5 (01:01):
Yeah that's true.

Speaker 1 (01:02):
Hey, and guys, guess what we're bad?

Speaker 3 (01:09):
And who is that?

Speaker 1 (01:11):
That was some guy from like the Longhorns. I just
googled We're back.

Speaker 3 (01:16):
Just some college football.

Speaker 5 (01:18):
Player, Yeah, they like got gymnist. I don't know, it
could be any any.

Speaker 2 (01:22):
To any sport in Texas.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
Yeah, I think they were back at the rings. They
were competitors once again.

Speaker 5 (01:27):
Oh man, the rings look so fucking hard. I don't
know about those things.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
They look hard as hell.

Speaker 6 (01:33):
Yeah, hey, Jersey, where's my snare? Yeah that now I
have no snare on my headphone.

Speaker 5 (01:40):
So before we.

Speaker 7 (01:41):
Started, Blake was playing us some new cuts from the
soundboard and I was like, where are you gonna use
the where's my snare? What where does that come in?
And he said, you'll see right up top.

Speaker 6 (01:49):
Where's my snare?

Speaker 5 (01:51):
Now?

Speaker 1 (01:51):
I'm gonna use it the whole entire time.

Speaker 5 (01:53):
Where's my snare?

Speaker 4 (01:55):
Eminem sounds like when you just hear Eminem's voice and
he's not rapping or you know, doing in a song,
he sounds like a bitch.

Speaker 2 (02:03):
You know, It's like, where's my snare?

Speaker 6 (02:05):
I have no snare on my headphone.

Speaker 2 (02:07):
I have no snare. I have no snare in my headphones.

Speaker 3 (02:10):
This is a little diva.

Speaker 5 (02:11):
It sounds like that to you. You sound a little
bit more vulnerable than Eminem sounds in that clip.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
You don't have a snare and I want one?

Speaker 3 (02:21):
Did Adam do that? I thought that was just the
soundboard to.

Speaker 2 (02:24):
Get see that's how good of an impression, is TI him?

Speaker 5 (02:26):
Listen? See that's Adam Adams, the one that's like whining.
Now isn't where's my snare?

Speaker 8 (02:32):
Bro?

Speaker 3 (02:32):
That's basically says, give me my snare?

Speaker 5 (02:34):
Okay, now, Adam go, where's my snare?

Speaker 3 (02:37):
No, Adam go.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
That would be a really cool way for a rap
song to start, just a rapper throwing a fit to
the sound technician.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
Just just supposed to have a snare right there?

Speaker 5 (02:49):
Turn it out.

Speaker 1 (02:50):
Why isn't there water in here? Okay? Go?

Speaker 2 (02:53):
First of all, there's no snare.

Speaker 9 (02:55):
There's no snare in my headphones, And like the cushion
on the ear is like kind of okay, drop the beat.
All I'm saying is it's still it's still soggy from
when Busta was in here.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
It's still soggy.

Speaker 7 (03:08):
So I need to do a little net thing in
the front it. This thing is super funky.

Speaker 5 (03:12):
It's foul.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
Where's my snare?

Speaker 5 (03:17):
It just smells. No, it's fine, it's fine. It just
smells a little weird. That's it. It's just it's just
a smell. I can't wrap with the smell.

Speaker 1 (03:23):
It's a smell, and then just a wet nap.

Speaker 7 (03:25):
I bet there are outtakes, you know what I mean,
like where there. It's not on the album, but for
sure somebody has been recording. When someone's like, uh, does
anyone have like a siqurettes or like a lozenge of
some sorts?

Speaker 5 (03:36):
Yeah, yeah, hot tea?

Speaker 1 (03:38):
Yeah, straight up? I just pooped my pants, y'all.

Speaker 2 (03:41):
Y'all motherfuckers, y'all. Can I get some earl gray in
this bitch?

Speaker 5 (03:45):
For real?

Speaker 2 (03:46):
Though, I'm feeling those scratchy local honey.

Speaker 7 (03:50):
Who let that guy in here? I'm trying to wrap
in this. This man is in you have.

Speaker 6 (03:55):
No snare in my head.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
Can I get some earl gray in this bitch?

Speaker 5 (03:59):
Yes, somebody get him the tea and get him out
of here. I've got hot bars.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
It's just the janitor right before.

Speaker 5 (04:05):
That's the wrapper, right, get him out of here. I'm
ready to spit.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
But then that's how they found jaw Rule.

Speaker 4 (04:10):
He was just sweeping and he was like, Yo, can
I get some earl gray in this bitch?

Speaker 5 (04:15):
It was jaw Rule hunting. That's hell.

Speaker 1 (04:18):
Yeah, He's like, this is great. Jada Kiss was in
here right before this and threw up all over the booth,
and I had to mop that ship up.

Speaker 4 (04:25):
For days, and they're like, wait, come on, you say
I said, I said mont that ship up.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
Whoa, Okay, all right, we like that that ship up.

Speaker 5 (04:34):
Mocked that ship up.

Speaker 7 (04:35):
Okay, all right, right, I do want to hear like
Buster rhymes just explaining his ibs to somebody who's never
heard it before. It's like, it's, uh, you're about irritable
bowel syndrome, basically like I just shipped my pants at
any moment, and it's a real thing.

Speaker 3 (04:51):
Never just damn j J Right.

Speaker 5 (04:55):
Okay, bust, we're about to play the bacha.

Speaker 3 (04:57):
Okay, just put your hands in my eyes can see.

Speaker 5 (05:00):
I can't. I'm holding the dukie.

Speaker 1 (05:01):
In I think you're leaning on the button. Put put
your hands where my eyes can see because you're hitting
something in there.

Speaker 5 (05:07):
Wait, that's good. Wait, okay, give me some good.

Speaker 1 (05:11):
That's good.

Speaker 6 (05:12):
Where's my snare?

Speaker 3 (05:13):
That's dangerous?

Speaker 1 (05:14):
Okay. I had a drum set in here, and I
think somebody moved the snare.

Speaker 6 (05:19):
Where's my snare?

Speaker 4 (05:20):
And then Buss is like, yo, let me get flip
mode in here, and everyone's like, nah, we're good. Just
you just you busta all flip mode. Uh, yeah, can
I get all the flip mode in here? And and
the producer's like, nah, just you.

Speaker 7 (05:34):
Okay, Well then past the cavassie. It's time to wrap. Wait,
that's good.

Speaker 1 (05:40):
I love as I E. Bulls. They're probably my favorite
breakfast And where the where the hell did those things
come from? They weren't around when I was a kid.
Now there every one.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
I want to talk to the public system a s
i E. Because they're doing great work.

Speaker 1 (05:56):
I love that Amazon fruit let me tell you, or berryer.

Speaker 2 (06:01):
They really it's a berry berries, not fruits. Yeah, they're
fruit berries, the fruit berries.

Speaker 1 (06:05):
Fruits and berries is a berry of fruit?

Speaker 5 (06:08):
Berries of fruit?

Speaker 7 (06:08):
Oh we got our podcast title? Is a berry of fruit?
Be sure and tune into that. Strawberries a fruit? Yeah,
blueberries a fruit?

Speaker 5 (06:16):
What are you?

Speaker 2 (06:17):
Is a berry of fruit?

Speaker 5 (06:18):
Did you know that a kiwi is a berry?

Speaker 4 (06:20):
No?

Speaker 2 (06:21):
We're learning a lot. We're learning a lot about each other.

Speaker 4 (06:23):
We don't know what fruits are, don't know how to
tell time, I can't speak.

Speaker 7 (06:27):
Remember when you had your first kiwi and it was
like it was all furry on the outside, so you're like,
all right, what is this? But then you get on
that inside That's pretty damn good, isn't it. Wait, dude,
do you know that? Do you eat the I eat
the skin on the kiwi?

Speaker 5 (06:39):
Well? Did you know that? Have any guys ever done that?

Speaker 2 (06:41):
Well?

Speaker 5 (06:41):
Laugh?

Speaker 3 (06:43):
Gross?

Speaker 5 (06:44):
Yummy? Why what?

Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (06:46):
Why do you eat the fur? Why do you eat
the fur of the skin?

Speaker 5 (06:49):
You don't because I got sick of cutting it. And
then I saw this pa in an assistant up in Canada,
up in Toronto. She was like, I just eat the
whole thing. And I was like, what do it? And
she did it and I was like, and you're cool. Yeah.

Speaker 7 (07:01):
She was like, watch, I'm gonna get Kyle to eat
the whole thing. I just have to eat it once.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
I eat the whole thing.

Speaker 5 (07:05):
Yeah, And I looked it up and it's fine. He
actually got a lot of them.

Speaker 7 (07:08):
Fine, but like the outside doesn't taste good.

Speaker 5 (07:11):
No, it's awesome. You eat the rhine of a watermelon.
It's so dope because you snap right into it.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
You could keep the hair on ribs.

Speaker 7 (07:20):
Hey, I want my ribs the hair on. Thank you,
No barbecue.

Speaker 4 (07:23):
I eat the rhine of a watermelon. I eat all
that ship Why it's delicious, it's great.

Speaker 7 (07:28):
It's not delicious, Adam, the rhine of You're gonna go
on record saying the rhine the rhine of a watermelon.

Speaker 3 (07:36):
I think it's rhine, I know, but he said rhyme.

Speaker 1 (07:39):
We wild stuff.

Speaker 2 (07:40):
However, you say rh rhyme.

Speaker 7 (07:43):
Yeah, but it's not delicious.

Speaker 3 (07:46):
It's for sure not good to me.

Speaker 5 (07:48):
I like it, so you would eat?

Speaker 7 (07:52):
No, I want to ask you this question, would you
eat if someone had a bowl of just the rine,
you'd be like, oh, I'll have that.

Speaker 5 (07:59):
That's the.

Speaker 2 (08:02):
I don't know if if it depends on if I
was hungry or not.

Speaker 1 (08:04):
But okay, he's hungry, he's gone.

Speaker 3 (08:07):
Well, wait, hold on, let's say this. Let's say this.

Speaker 7 (08:09):
You're in this scenario, Adam, you're hungry.

Speaker 2 (08:12):
Okay, then ya pumped?

Speaker 1 (08:14):
Now?

Speaker 2 (08:14):
Then absolutely so he's eating it.

Speaker 5 (08:16):
Yeah, that's fine.

Speaker 2 (08:18):
No, I mean, I guess delicious is the wrong word.

Speaker 4 (08:20):
I'm sorry that threw you for a fucking loopter I
said delicious and you got spun out of control.

Speaker 7 (08:26):
It's a very specific word.

Speaker 3 (08:28):
It's not delicious.

Speaker 5 (08:30):
Well, why don't you cry about it?

Speaker 2 (08:31):
I like it.

Speaker 5 (08:32):
I like it.

Speaker 4 (08:32):
When I eat a watermelon and I get to the end,
I'm like, guess, what, baby, I'm not stopping.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
I like the crunchiness of it. I like that you
gotta chew it.

Speaker 5 (08:40):
A little bitay to the watermelon. I like, honestly, Adam,
I love that about you. I love that you eat everything.

Speaker 3 (08:47):
He's the whole apple too.

Speaker 5 (08:48):
I know, I love it. I think it's so fucking cool, dude.
I think you're so ahead of the curve on this, bro,
And I'm like, just I'm into you.

Speaker 4 (08:55):
I'm just a fucking garbage disposal of a human and
I don't mind, you know. I think I started eating
the core of the apple like as a child, like
as a bit, like as a I'm a wild man,
and then now I can't And also like what do
you do with it? Then you have this piece of
garbage with you and you're out and about, and I

(09:15):
don't want to just like throw it somewhere.

Speaker 2 (09:17):
So I was like, you know what, I'll eat.

Speaker 7 (09:18):
Throw it anywhere it is an apple. A squirrel will
come eat it, because that's what apple cores are for squirrels.

Speaker 5 (09:24):
I throw my apple cores and I hope it a
tree pops up. Like every time I finish apple, I
throw the core and I pretend like I'm Johnny apple seed. Yeah, Adam,
every time you eat it, you're not planting a tree.

Speaker 2 (09:34):
Yeah no, because I what I do is I always
shit in my yard.

Speaker 5 (09:39):
Oh so you're putting the seeds out there, always constantly.

Speaker 4 (09:41):
Science, I'm always sprinting outside and shitting in our yard.

Speaker 5 (09:48):
Wait what are you doing over there?

Speaker 3 (09:49):
Oh I'm planting a tree, asshole.

Speaker 5 (09:51):
I'm planting a tree, sir.

Speaker 1 (09:52):
Do you have a.

Speaker 2 (09:53):
Problem with that?

Speaker 5 (09:54):
It's called hugh manure.

Speaker 1 (09:56):
I feel like Adam admitted that eating that apple core
started as a bit. To me, it kind of feels
like Kyle, you eating the skin of the kiwi is
also a similar thing where it's kind of become like
this thing you're proud to say you do. It's a
little off center. You're like, guys, I actually eat the furry,
disgusting part of a KeyWe that's how.

Speaker 3 (10:14):
You introduce yourself.

Speaker 2 (10:15):
But it's not. It's not furry or disgusting.

Speaker 4 (10:17):
It's just the shell of it and you just bite
right into It's delicious, right.

Speaker 7 (10:21):
No one's saying it's disgusting. It's just not good. And
you don't have to eat it preferred.

Speaker 5 (10:25):
And I've used this word before on this podcast to
deaf ears. But it's purely utilitarian.

Speaker 8 (10:31):
Mmm.

Speaker 5 (10:31):
Well, I grab a keyweed, I run it underwater. I
don't need a knife. I just eat it.

Speaker 4 (10:36):
I don't need a knife. You don't gotta cut anything.
It's yeah, it's less.

Speaker 5 (10:39):
Word is utilitarian as fun.

Speaker 1 (10:41):
It's a kiwi. It's it's a kiwi. You can use
your finger, it's not a knife. You don't need a
knife for a kiwi. Yeah, you can tear a kiwi
apart with your bare hands.

Speaker 10 (10:50):
Blake is strong, Yeah, but then there's just juices all
down in the front of you.

Speaker 5 (10:54):
That sounds hot, Yeah, that's that's not Oh my god,
you're missing on some good stuff. The skin has good stuff.
You do need to wash it, but the skin has
good stuff. Oh my god, the skin's got good Some
skins got good stuff. You can't. Hey, Kyle, I got
an idea for the salad bar. Yeah.

Speaker 7 (11:12):
Like, if you're company and you you've been thrown away
the rind and the skin, just send it to Kyle's
salad bar, where the whole trough of it, because there's
good stuff in it.

Speaker 5 (11:21):
Well, I never said I would eat a bowl of
the skin. Okay, Hey, there's good stuff in it. You
know what, though, if you fucking dehydrated the skin of
a KeyWe come on to Carl's good stuff salad bar.
If you dehydrated the skin of a Kiwi, I bet
it would be bomb as fuck.

Speaker 3 (11:34):
Bomb as fuck.

Speaker 1 (11:35):
I'm gonna say, I doubt it. Maybe if you salt it, well.

Speaker 5 (11:38):
You know what, I you know what, it's salted Bob.
As a lot of people playing Animal Crossing, you.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
Play, Oh, that was what I did during quarantine, and
that became my reality. That's where I had my New
Year's and a lot of people like picked up some
extra skills they either like maybe maybe they got in
great shape, maybe they learned to play the piano or
the guitar, wrote a script, did something to further their career.

Speaker 5 (12:04):
Some of us got in great shape and then also
lost it and slipped and got fat again.

Speaker 2 (12:10):
I got fat right again?

Speaker 5 (12:12):
Them both?

Speaker 8 (12:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (12:15):
No. I decided to play video games and get good
at a thing that no one needs to be good at.

Speaker 5 (12:20):
Are you good?

Speaker 2 (12:21):
But it's Animal Crossing. That's not even like a real
video game.

Speaker 5 (12:24):
Though.

Speaker 4 (12:24):
I understand when people play like a Call of Duty
or something, and it seems like very intricate and intense,
and you can play with your friends and you're like,
there's levels to this ship, or even like a Fortnite
where you're like, okay, you could be a nationally ranked
Fortnite guy and you're like, what Animal Crossing? You just
are tending to a farm, a digital farm. Explain it

(12:46):
to me, Well, pretend I'm a man.

Speaker 10 (12:51):
Pretend he's me yeah, or me, pretend I'm anders Home
or Kyle Nuichek or Adam Devine, who were you know,
almost forty years old?

Speaker 5 (13:02):
You know you could even you could even pretend like
you're explaining it to each of us individually.

Speaker 7 (13:08):
Obviously we're super deep into video games, but like, this
is forty.

Speaker 4 (13:11):
This is forty man, things all slow down when you're forty.

Speaker 2 (13:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:16):
Actually, I don't know. There's probably no way I could
sell you guys on the game of Animal Crossing, because
it is just kind of you live on an island,
you like design your house, you buy clothes, dream, Yeah,
you like chop wood to make bells. That's the form
of of money in that game. And it's yeah, it's
just kind of like a lifestyle game. It's a way

(13:37):
to escape reality.

Speaker 2 (13:39):
But blake your reality is pretty pretty dope, you know
what I mean. Like, if you spent that time and
you like.

Speaker 4 (13:45):
Worked on some scripts some TV shows, then you could,
like legit, buy a house on an island and an
actual wardrobe and an actual buy clothes and make bells
if you wanted.

Speaker 5 (13:57):
To, Like you could even sell the bells, real life
bells and make more. You can do that.

Speaker 2 (14:02):
You're in a position that you can live in animal
cross lifestyle in real life if you play less Animal
Crossing and just more the real life game.

Speaker 1 (14:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (14:12):
Yeah, this is all hitting too real for Blake right now.

Speaker 2 (14:16):
He's like, oh shit, I'm sorry, mama.

Speaker 7 (14:19):
If I know, If I know Blake and I think
that I do, everything you're saying Adam is just a
little too much for him.

Speaker 5 (14:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (14:27):
Yes, it's giving me anxiety. It's making me want to
go onto my island.

Speaker 5 (14:31):
He's like, that just seems like a lot of stuff.
Is that why you're laughing? You're giggling because you're nervous, Like.

Speaker 1 (14:37):
Every time I laugh is out of nervous, is because
I fear it.

Speaker 2 (14:41):
You're so nervous. On all of our podcasts, Friendship, oh Man, Fringe.

Speaker 5 (14:49):
Finish, what's up?

Speaker 1 (14:50):
My best friends, my best friend.

Speaker 4 (14:52):
I'm mother fucking best friends friends friend, my best friend,
my best friend.

Speaker 2 (15:02):
My mother fucking best friend.

Speaker 5 (15:05):
Is my best friend. I wish I had my tamourine
for this is my best friend.

Speaker 6 (15:12):
That's my best friend.

Speaker 5 (15:13):
Oh got remix.

Speaker 1 (15:16):
Megan the Stallion comes in.

Speaker 5 (15:17):
Okay, good job.

Speaker 2 (15:19):
Do you think Megan the Stallion stole that from us?
Do you think she works for us?

Speaker 4 (15:23):
And now heard our other bits and she was like,
these guys are onto something and then took that bit
from us from an old sketch that we made more
than fifteen years ago.

Speaker 2 (15:32):
Yeses, absolutely, she.

Speaker 7 (15:35):
Used to be Megan Meghan the Comedian. She did oh,
then just changed some letters.

Speaker 1 (15:39):
Yes, I remember that. She was very funny too.

Speaker 5 (15:42):
Megan the Comedian. That's tight.

Speaker 1 (15:46):
Have we ever played the Best Friend's track on the pod?
Should we like throw to it and come back play
it for the people?

Speaker 5 (15:54):
Yeah? Yeah, let's play it. Okay early early music for
y'all if you're waking up, here's some music for y'all.

Speaker 1 (16:00):
This one's for all the best friends out there.

Speaker 4 (16:02):
If you're waking up, or even if it's even if
it's in the afternoon, or even if maybe post workout.

Speaker 2 (16:07):
Whatever you're doing. We feel you know you should think.

Speaker 4 (16:10):
About your best friends and after this, if you're not
currently like living with your best friends and seeing them
all the time, give them a shout, give them a call. Yeah,
give them what I love about this podcast. I get
to see my best friends all the time. Okay, roll
that beautiful bean footage.

Speaker 5 (16:22):
Blaze, even if it's at midnight, have fun.

Speaker 2 (16:42):
Looking at we know, watching.

Speaker 5 (16:46):
Rain fall down, eating for my best friend.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
But it's now around.

Speaker 5 (16:58):
I can't wait.

Speaker 7 (17:00):
I can't see you.

Speaker 11 (17:02):
I'm picked up from figs.

Speaker 2 (17:03):
You can't have a barbecue and you tell me.

Speaker 12 (17:14):
My best friend, my best friend, my best friend. I'll
tell you that I was my best friend, my best friend,
my best friend. Die looking out the window, watch cars

(17:35):
drive by, eyes.

Speaker 5 (17:38):
You're just thinking about you and begs me want to cry.

Speaker 1 (17:46):
This is so much since you've been away of the
people started to think that I might be gay. But
I just think you are really cool dude. Sometimes that
night I see you in the stars.

Speaker 13 (18:02):
My fast from you am a fast crowd, You my
bass frowd until that I know my best friend young,
my a fast frown, you my best friend.

Speaker 12 (18:15):
Until that, my fast friend, my best friend, my best friend.

Speaker 13 (18:26):
My fast friend you on my fast cram young my
bass from that, my fast friend John, I'm not a
fast from my best friend. You know, my past friend, you,
my best friend, you my best friend, and we're back.

Speaker 1 (18:52):
How about that song, man, I wrote a lot of
fond memories of that song. It's given us a lot
of mileage. We've performed it on Conan, Conan O'Brien.

Speaker 5 (19:02):
We did, Yes, well, Conan played the guitar for it
on Can We Do This?

Speaker 7 (19:07):
I almost did this on Instagram yesterday and then I
just got busy and forgot. But like a Conan O'Brien appreciation.

Speaker 5 (19:16):
Day, yes we should okay into it. Holy fucking shit, Conan, oh.

Speaker 4 (19:22):
Brian, Yeah, he's the best, the absolute man. Well, he
was the very first person that gave us a shot
on Late Night, the first ones.

Speaker 8 (19:31):
That is that right?

Speaker 5 (19:32):
Yeah? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 7 (19:33):
I'm not even talking about like associated to us and
like the favors he's done for us. I'm talking about
like this dude wrote on S and L way back
in the day, influencing us in ways we didn't even
know right then. Writing on the Simpsons. I wasn't a
huge Simpsons guy, but I respect the.

Speaker 3 (19:48):
Fuck out of the show.

Speaker 7 (19:49):
And then his talk show fucking blew my mind. I
watched it every night in high school and college. Unfucking real.

Speaker 5 (19:55):
Yeah, the dude is great.

Speaker 1 (19:56):
Yes, I would stay up very late to watch his
show just because, like the sketches were so insane, and
also I felt like the guests that would come on
knew that you could get really wild. And that was
what was cool about us going on this show is
you know, he allowed us to do whatever the hell
we want. We did wizards there, we did best friends.

Speaker 4 (20:17):
I want to say thank you to the listeners sticking
with us. I had a family issue. My father, my father.

Speaker 5 (20:26):
My fat dad.

Speaker 4 (20:28):
My fat dad is fat a little now. He just
recently gained like twenty pounds.

Speaker 2 (20:32):
I'm like, this is great. Yeah, he got a little
fat all of a sudden.

Speaker 5 (20:36):
We love it.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
He's living.

Speaker 3 (20:37):
He was a little hefty back in the day.

Speaker 4 (20:39):
Then back in the day, then he lost like fifty
sixty pounds and got all shredded up, right, and then
he's recently put on like twenty pounds.

Speaker 2 (20:46):
But it's good because he just got the cancer. So
he got the cancer.

Speaker 5 (20:52):
Spit take on Blake on that one.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
He got the cancer and the.

Speaker 4 (20:58):
Doctors like pomped on his little extra puff. She's like, oh,
hell yeah, bitch. And this I I'm quoting him verbatim.

Speaker 3 (21:04):
I was just gonna say, this is a doctor in Venice.

Speaker 1 (21:07):
These are the best people.

Speaker 5 (21:10):
What's up?

Speaker 7 (21:10):
I'm doctor Malibu.

Speaker 2 (21:11):
This is a cool doctor.

Speaker 3 (21:13):
Oh hell yeah, bitch. This is the same guy I
got my weed card from.

Speaker 5 (21:17):
Yo.

Speaker 2 (21:17):
Hell yeah, bitch, look at this chunky mug.

Speaker 1 (21:20):
You got the cancer.

Speaker 2 (21:21):
You're gonna beat the shit out of this cancer brag?

Speaker 7 (21:26):
Uh? Can I pull out the deep dive card and
make you talk more about your straight cat?

Speaker 3 (21:30):
Jessica?

Speaker 8 (21:31):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (21:31):
So that yeah?

Speaker 1 (21:33):
So you know how I used to do a paper
out every morning when I was a youngster. That was
the morning routine nineteen years old? Or was this really cute,
like furry brown cat that would roll up every single
morning like and watch me wrap the papers? And I
was like, wrap, this cat is the nicest cat I've
ever met.

Speaker 2 (21:50):
And I love this cat.

Speaker 1 (21:52):
But she had tons of dreadlocks, like tons of dreads
in her hair, like a like straight up Bay Area
and shake them dreads.

Speaker 5 (22:00):
That's cool.

Speaker 2 (22:01):
So that cat probably smokes weed. That sounds like a cool, cool,
cut down ass cat.

Speaker 1 (22:05):
Ye, definitely smoking grape. But yeah, so I eventually, like hello,
decided one morning to kind of like help her out.

Speaker 13 (22:13):
Well.

Speaker 1 (22:13):
I started to feed her and then like cut the
clumps out of her hair, and then she kind of
just kept hanging around the house.

Speaker 3 (22:19):
What you were giving a stray cat of haircut?

Speaker 1 (22:22):
Yeah, dude, she had big old like lumps, like huge
dreadlocks in her like lovely lady lumps.

Speaker 2 (22:27):
Check her out.

Speaker 5 (22:28):
The things that you just said that you liked you
cut out. No, you just said you liked it.

Speaker 1 (22:32):
Well, I don't think she was super high. She like
she had a beautiful coat. Once you like cleaned her
up a little bit.

Speaker 5 (22:37):
I thought this had smoked weed. We hold on a minute,
what's going on?

Speaker 2 (22:40):
The coat was so beautiful in the cat?

Speaker 5 (22:43):
Okay, this was you just you.

Speaker 7 (22:45):
You were like, I'm gonna bring scissors for tomorrow. I'm
gonna give this cat of haircut.

Speaker 1 (22:48):
How old were you when this was happening, Blake, Ooh,
I'm in junior high So whatever age that would be.

Speaker 2 (22:55):
That's like somewhere like twelve thirteen, yeah, twelve thirteen, fourteen.

Speaker 7 (22:59):
You don't know what age that that's what six whatever
those things are, they go to those schools.

Speaker 1 (23:04):
Motherfuck you don't tell time?

Speaker 5 (23:05):
All right? Yeah, fair enough?

Speaker 1 (23:10):
No, I dude, Well, I'm I'm folding my papers on
my porch. So it's not like the scissors are very
far away.

Speaker 5 (23:17):
Yeah, it was definitely part of it.

Speaker 1 (23:19):
Like it wasn't like a I'm bringing my scissors to
this alleyway. She's coming to my front porch every morning
to be like, yo, you're starting a paper route and
I'm like, yeah, what up right?

Speaker 5 (23:28):
And when you have a paper route, you have scissors
just to cut the bands off of it. Sure it's there, Sure, Okay.
To Blake's credit, I'm now visualizing this completely. I still
don't understand why you cut them off when you said
that that was the best part about this gut.

Speaker 1 (23:41):
I don't think that animals like having I don't know, maybe,
but it seems like animals don't like having big old
clumps of Are.

Speaker 3 (23:47):
You familiar with the pulley or the common door dogs?

Speaker 2 (23:52):
I'm not.

Speaker 1 (23:52):
Is that how they naturally settle natural dreads?

Speaker 7 (23:56):
Oh but I guess you're in charge and you would
just shave those dogs bear.

Speaker 3 (24:00):
Hide your dogs. Here comes Blake Anderson.

Speaker 2 (24:10):
When I was a kid, my neighbor had this tree
with all these little berries on my.

Speaker 5 (24:15):
Favorite things, poison berries. No, I'm into it. Yeah, Adam,
can you hear us.

Speaker 2 (24:25):
Adam, I'm trying to talk you motherfuckers wanting to shut
the fuck up.

Speaker 5 (24:31):
I just heard it.

Speaker 2 (24:32):
Yeah, trying to get into this conversation for the last
ten minutes.

Speaker 5 (24:36):
When he was a kid, I'm good, damn we were.

Speaker 7 (24:40):
He my man had a story about neighbors and berries,
and I'm trying to hear.

Speaker 2 (24:45):
And I had a really good neighbors and berry story.

Speaker 7 (24:48):
But I also think he's told this story on the podcast.

Speaker 1 (24:51):
That's possible.

Speaker 2 (24:52):
Well, then you tell it, motherfucker.

Speaker 7 (24:53):
Because he's like someone was poisoning him or he was
poisoning people.

Speaker 1 (24:57):
Oh, he started to make jellies out of the okay.

Speaker 2 (25:00):
And I might have told this story before.

Speaker 4 (25:03):
But my neighbor had a berry tree and I plucked
off all the berries and I found out if you
squished it, it made like a ghak situation. And I
sold it to all my neighborhood kids and everyone got
really really sick.

Speaker 5 (25:15):
Right right.

Speaker 2 (25:16):
No deaths, No someone diede No, I didn't kill it.

Speaker 5 (25:22):
They all died.

Speaker 2 (25:23):
No, and everyone in my neighborhood died. It was a
mass dat.

Speaker 7 (25:26):
Hulu's doing a documentary on it now, Adam, what would
happen if they did die? Would you go to print?
Would you go to prison? If as a kid, how
old were you like?

Speaker 5 (25:36):
Ten? Eight?

Speaker 13 (25:36):
Nine? Yeah?

Speaker 7 (25:37):
It was like a probably eight or interesting if you
were eight years old and poisoned like twelve kids by
just making like a drink out of berries, is that
like involuntary manslaughter or what?

Speaker 5 (25:46):
I don't know, man, this.

Speaker 2 (25:48):
I feel like you would definitely get, for sure get spankings.
I feel like I for sure like bare bottom, you'd get.

Speaker 4 (25:55):
Some bare bottom spankings from a judge, and they would
in Iowa, they would.

Speaker 2 (26:00):
You'd be convicted with thirty spankings for sure.

Speaker 1 (26:03):
Yeah, right, similar in Conquered.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
Yeah, it's a similar vibe.

Speaker 4 (26:06):
That's why I liked Conquered so much, because I'm like, oh,
I like this. I feel like you're gonna make some
good friends here, some good lifelong friends here. And also
you can easily buy myth anywhere. That's the vibe that
I got from Conquered that I also get from Waterloo.

Speaker 5 (26:21):
Alight, my man is back.

Speaker 2 (26:23):
That's the vibe.

Speaker 4 (26:24):
That's the vibe I get from where I grew up
in Waterloo, Waiowa. Is the same vibe I got from Conquered.
I'm like gonna there's some good people here. We're gonna
make some great friends.

Speaker 5 (26:33):
When I was growing up, I found it hard to
buy meth. Is that true?

Speaker 3 (26:36):
Do you get a similar vibe?

Speaker 5 (26:38):
I do.

Speaker 4 (26:38):
I get a very similar vibe from where I grew
up until I moved to Omaha, which Omaha is a
little bit bigger of a city, so different vibe. But
where I grew up in Waterloo, very similar vibe to Conquered.
And even I would say even the suburbs of where
I grew up in Omaha was a similar vibe. And
you know a lot of uh oh, here we go,

(26:59):
like chain right restaurants and uh cool die bars and
suburban kids, yeah there we go. Yeah, and readily available
meth amphetamine.

Speaker 13 (27:10):
Right.

Speaker 5 (27:11):
That's the part that I'm going to have to.

Speaker 3 (27:13):
Stop on that one.

Speaker 1 (27:14):
Did you find a meth dealer while you were at
our childhood hometown?

Speaker 4 (27:18):
Yeah, no, dude, I just remember being in that one
shitty dive bar that we're all in, and I'm like, oh,
I bet when you.

Speaker 5 (27:24):
Came up here for Thanksgiving you were just jones in
for math and you couldn't find it. You were up
here for like three or four days, and we were
drunk the whole time.

Speaker 4 (27:31):
I'll say, right now, I've never done meth, but if
you guys all want to do meth, I'll.

Speaker 2 (27:36):
Do meth with you guys.

Speaker 3 (27:39):
If we do it on the pod, I'll do it.

Speaker 2 (27:41):
But we have to do it together.

Speaker 4 (27:44):
It's just the fastest podcast of all time. We're just
dead sprinting through. We thought we did an hour. It
was fifteen minutes. We're all sweating.

Speaker 1 (27:51):
Yeah, I think we're done. I think we're done here.

Speaker 7 (27:53):
We should only we should do math and then do
all of our advertisements.

Speaker 1 (27:56):
That would actually be cool. That would probably push some product.

Speaker 5 (28:00):
Off the rails. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (28:01):
Man, I'm in the process of moving out of my home,
so I have been packing up my stuff, and what
I've realized is that I am a stuff guy. It
just so happens that all my stuff is completely worthless
to anybody except myself.

Speaker 2 (28:18):
Yeah, well, you're a collection.

Speaker 5 (28:20):
He's a collector, he's a hoarder.

Speaker 7 (28:22):
I like, those are not that's not stuff. Those are things,
to be clear.

Speaker 5 (28:25):
Okay, so if you're a hoarder, if you're a hoarder,
you're after things like those are my things. Don't take
my things right right, right right? Don't you want to
have your bear? You gotta have your bear. Your lipstick?
Look at that lipstick.

Speaker 1 (28:41):
So so you're saying that stuff carries value in the
society we live in, and then things are basically stuff
you can buy at goodwill and things like because that's.

Speaker 5 (28:53):
What I have. No, I was kind of I was
kind of just I was kind of just talking. Yeah,
he was.

Speaker 2 (28:57):
I can tell he's just trying to say stuff.

Speaker 5 (28:59):
If you are following, it's like things are stuff that
have lost their value. That's what I think he was.

Speaker 7 (29:06):
And by the way, Adam, I wasn't trying to say stuff.
I was trying to say something.

Speaker 1 (29:10):
Okay, I'm so good viewsed, So.

Speaker 5 (29:14):
Things okay, stuff things stuffed, things.

Speaker 2 (29:17):
Going all right.

Speaker 4 (29:18):
Well, that being said, it seemed like and I'm acrossing
a little bit of a waste of time. But fun,
I do things that are waste of time, you know.
I jerk off all the time.

Speaker 3 (29:28):
Baby, as he checks his mirrors.

Speaker 4 (29:33):
Thereby the second Chloe's not around. I'm jerking off.

Speaker 3 (29:38):
Wow, well you used to fuck couches, so you've come
a long way.

Speaker 4 (29:41):
So that's kind of my waste of time that like
half I'll be halfway through a session, a real crank down,
and I'm like, man, you could have been doing.

Speaker 2 (29:49):
You wasted half the day. This is six hours of
your life that.

Speaker 5 (29:52):
You waste on the powers. But what is going on
when I crank?

Speaker 2 (29:57):
I cranked down? Boy, it's a little.

Speaker 4 (30:02):
Actually showed Chloe the Wizard clip not too terribly long ago,
because I was telling because she like honestly really likes
the Wizards.

Speaker 2 (30:10):
The Wizards is it's not us, but it's our friends
from an alternate realm.

Speaker 4 (30:16):
I think I mentioned, yeah that they've opened a podle
and they kind of look similar to us if you
look in the.

Speaker 2 (30:22):
Eyes and look past the beards. But yeah, there's similar
vibes to us.

Speaker 5 (30:26):
If you look past the elastic straps holding the beards up.

Speaker 2 (30:29):
Yeah, if you look past that, it might look similar
to us, but it's not.

Speaker 5 (30:32):
They're us.

Speaker 2 (30:33):
And I showed Chloe the album.

Speaker 4 (30:35):
She loved it, and then I was like, yeah, when
we did it on Conan just said it briefly and
She was like, say what now, and I played her
that clip and she was like, holy shit, this is
absolutely insane.

Speaker 3 (30:44):
We had dancers, you guys were super famous rapper and.

Speaker 2 (30:48):
I said, no, it wasn't us, it was the Wizards.

Speaker 5 (30:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (30:50):
Well, one of the coolest things about that performance is
we asked Conan if we could have like a flame
throwing dragon and they were like, yes, I don't see
if that's possible, And sure enough, watch the clip. It
was a reality.

Speaker 5 (31:05):
It was awesome. And he like, didn't you say the
guys from Workaholics Last Minute couldn't be here? Yeah? Yeah,
because we couldn't. Because we couldn't because we couldn't be there,
and so our friends. Yeah, and so our friends had
to come in from the alternate universe and do the song. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (31:20):
I still think one of our greatest ideas that we
haven't done yet but it's still on the table is
asking the Wizards to do a Up and Smoke esque
type of hip hop tour. It would be very cool
stage show with the Wizards.

Speaker 7 (31:35):
So the Up and Smoke tour was like several different acts, right,
like rappers, So who is joining the Wizards?

Speaker 5 (31:44):
Well, the thing about what he's taking from the Huff
and Smoke tour is the theatrics. Everybody had their own
like set, everybody had their own that's what you're taking
from it.

Speaker 1 (31:53):
Well, you know what, we could also ask like Chuck
English if he wants to like come on a track,
like do it.

Speaker 2 (31:58):
I say, here's what we do. Here's what we do.

Speaker 4 (32:00):
Guys, we get we asked Chuck English, We have to
ask the Wizards first, we ask Eminem obviously the Wizards. Yeah,
we reach out to Chuck English and Eminem.

Speaker 5 (32:10):
Eminem and MGK and whoever gets back to us first.

Speaker 2 (32:14):
Whoever gets back to us first, they get the slot.

Speaker 7 (32:16):
So we had up Maclamore, who was who like announced
he was going to do a Wizard album and then
kind of just what happened.

Speaker 5 (32:23):
I remember seeing that, like he.

Speaker 7 (32:24):
Must have gotten ten tweets about it from people, and
he was like, oh, there's no way I could surpass
the perfection that those Wizards that.

Speaker 5 (32:34):
We know did, and he skipped it right when they
did their original their first album, Purple Magic.

Speaker 2 (32:40):
So what was Macklemore's Wizard thing? I I kind of
remember it.

Speaker 7 (32:44):
But he like announced that He's like, yo, I'm moving
on to some hot shit. Get ready for the rapping
wizards and people were like it's been done, and he
was like, well, I don't know what he was like,
but he must have heard.

Speaker 2 (32:55):
He's probably like they're on to me.

Speaker 5 (32:56):
I just know.

Speaker 1 (32:57):
When I saw that, I immediately hit the notes my
iPhone and started to write a little little dissrap for
if he did drop it.

Speaker 5 (33:05):
Really, I pulled out a pet in the pad and
a beat too.

Speaker 2 (33:08):
Mean young Zeld did not blake.

Speaker 1 (33:10):
I'm sorry. I immediately well.

Speaker 5 (33:12):
Yeah, exactly, hit hit right right, Yeah, you hit up.

Speaker 1 (33:17):
I went to the cauldron, dropped Zelda line.

Speaker 5 (33:20):
I hit up Toby and I actually I got a
beat too, and I was like rapping on it with
like listening to Toby rap on.

Speaker 4 (33:27):
It and you hit up Old Toby the Wizard, and
I was like, that beat is solid. I did not
contact Bulldozer. He's kind of on his own ship right now. Yeah,
he's he's kind of down and out.

Speaker 5 (33:40):
That poor guy. That's too bad.

Speaker 3 (33:42):
Lamar spells well.

Speaker 7 (33:44):
Uh, he was actually interested in like actually getting on
a track with Malcolmore and like and whoever yes for
to like actually be hurt. He was like, I think
maybe more people would hear it if we did this
instead of just them.

Speaker 5 (33:59):
Yeah. All has always been like the peacekeeper of the group.
You know, well, he spells well, he spells well, he
does spell he cast spells well, and he is Jiggy
star dust aka.

Speaker 4 (34:11):
I know what we should do is contact the wizards
and say, you know, it's like a Blues Brothers type thing.
We got to get the band back together and and
come out with the ultimate album that will then change
the world. Like Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, you know,
basically a lot of other musical movies is what this
will also be like.

Speaker 5 (34:32):
You know, yeah, I think you could have. And we're
moving on from the coin O'Brien appreciation.

Speaker 1 (34:37):
All right, I want to bring it back. Was there
something else he wanted to say to him?

Speaker 7 (34:44):
There me, I feel like I said it and then
everyone else was like, yeah, but we we wrapped, didn't we?

Speaker 5 (34:49):
Well?

Speaker 3 (34:50):
Yeah, you know, I guess talking about him.

Speaker 1 (34:52):
Here's the thing. You kind of look like him, looks
exactly like would you play him in a bio? Would
you like to play him? Uh?

Speaker 5 (35:01):
Man? I wish you know, I don't know if I
could do him justice.

Speaker 1 (35:05):
That's got the believe in yourself.

Speaker 2 (35:07):
Yeah, I think you've got to believe in yourself, have
some confidence in it. I think you can.

Speaker 5 (35:10):
I don't have to do a dancing you're right, okay,
right now, okay, oh wait, don't don't do that. Don't
slit your wrists on the podcast, on this podcast right now.

Speaker 2 (35:24):
Hey, all right, come on, you should believe in yourself.
You don't have to, you should.

Speaker 5 (35:31):
I love you haul.

Speaker 3 (35:33):
I can do anything with those trucks.

Speaker 5 (35:38):
I help you move to heaven. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm
just not a pinske guy. What could I say? That's
another like truck rent.

Speaker 1 (35:51):
Uh.

Speaker 4 (35:51):
You know what's statistic that I heard that is fucking
insane because it's.

Speaker 3 (35:56):
Just a U haul statistic.

Speaker 2 (35:58):
It's a U hauls.

Speaker 1 (35:59):
Specifically, I read it on the side of a U haul.
They have those cool and that's.

Speaker 2 (36:02):
What I would like to say.

Speaker 5 (36:04):
Those crazy fucking murals that look like you're looking inside
the truck. Those things are fucked up. Yeah, open, yeah,
it's fucked up. They're like the perspective on them is gnarly.
Like sometimes I'm driving.

Speaker 2 (36:18):
I don't know if it ever really threw me for
a total loop.

Speaker 5 (36:22):
It's thrown me, Adam.

Speaker 7 (36:23):
We'll circle back to whatever stas and just talk about
these murals for a little bit.

Speaker 5 (36:27):
Well damn yeahs to drive.

Speaker 1 (36:29):
Can we talk about the side of a U haul truck?
Those did you knows?

Speaker 2 (36:33):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (36:34):
Well no, And that's where I got this stat is
one out of three people get cancer.

Speaker 1 (36:39):
One out of three.

Speaker 2 (36:40):
Yeah, one out of three people. And I read that
on the side of a U haul truck. Okay.

Speaker 5 (36:47):
I remember when my cousin was going through it. I
had the same statistic and I was like, oh, so
you just have to kind of live to fight it
before you even have it.

Speaker 4 (36:56):
Yeah, that's and that essentially that's how everybody goes. It's
either you get cancer or something with your heart, and
that's how. And I'm like thinking about me and how
I'm gonna go, you know, just thinking a lot about
like my own mortality, you know, dealing with my dad stuff. Sure,
and I'm like, uh, oh, my heart's exploding. I gotta
be more careful, more tender than with this sweet bumping bitch.

Speaker 5 (37:17):
In my chest.

Speaker 4 (37:18):
You only have one because uh, you know, I'm an
I'm an operation go hard all the time, and it's
time for me to pump the brakes.

Speaker 3 (37:26):
Just the wee bit is that what the doctor said
to you. He looked at me and he goes, your.

Speaker 2 (37:29):
Operation go I could tell you're an operation go hard.

Speaker 3 (37:32):
You need an operation.

Speaker 5 (37:35):
Go hard. We just got your cat scans back and
it looks like you are in operation go hard. You're
gonna need to chill out a little bit.

Speaker 2 (37:43):
You've did an operation go hard for quite some time.

Speaker 5 (37:48):
Oh boy, yeah, you have to kind of you have
to kind of combat it just as like a preemptive measure.
If you look at the statistics, it's like, Okay, I think.

Speaker 4 (37:56):
It's I'm gonna tone down my lifestyle, uh, twenty percent.
Not you know, I'm not gonna totally change my life
for but twenty percent. Yeah, and unless my.

Speaker 5 (38:07):
Dad, uh how do you quantify the twenty percent? What
does that mean?

Speaker 4 (38:10):
Unless my dad just beats, just beats the shit out
of cancer, then I'll be like, oh well then you know, yeah,
then it's back on.

Speaker 5 (38:17):
Born to go hard.

Speaker 2 (38:18):
Then I'm born to go hard.

Speaker 5 (38:20):
Yeah. Baby, we were.

Speaker 1 (38:21):
Born to run, baby, we were born go hard.

Speaker 4 (38:25):
Here I go hunting with family and friends once a year.
My dad, some of his friends, meet some of my friends.
We go a pheasant hunting half For eighteen years now
this will if we're if we can do it this year,
this will be our eighteenth year going together, Dan, and
it's awesome and it's a pheasant hunting and it's birds
to fuck them and uh, but people eat these pheasants.

Speaker 2 (38:50):
We take them, we clean them, and people eat them.

Speaker 5 (38:53):
And I'm for that.

Speaker 4 (38:53):
I'm not just about murdering animals, like I'm not taking
my baby gun.

Speaker 1 (38:58):
I'm gonna eat the cardinal.

Speaker 5 (38:59):
I'm all about that too.

Speaker 7 (39:00):
I mean, hang on a second, let's rewind a minute.
It sounded like you're not.

Speaker 4 (39:03):
Just about taking this baby gun and just going around
and shooting any bird out of the sky that I see,
or any animal that's just.

Speaker 2 (39:09):
In the ar not doing anything right.

Speaker 4 (39:11):
But if this, but if this cardinal is shitting all
over my car every day, dude, and it's gonna end
up costing me Monday money.

Speaker 2 (39:19):
So I'm gonna money Monday. So I think I'm gonna
murder murder this car.

Speaker 1 (39:25):
Look, I will. You are allowed to murder the cardinal
for Monday. If you eat it, you gotta eat the cardinal.
You eat the cardinal, you can kill it. And that's
the deal.

Speaker 5 (39:34):
That's the deal.

Speaker 3 (39:35):
That could be cool.

Speaker 5 (39:36):
That's what I was gonna say.

Speaker 2 (39:37):
I'll feed it to a dog or something. I'm not
gonna eat a cardinal.

Speaker 1 (39:40):
You have to at least eat a wing.

Speaker 2 (39:41):
They're not large enough.

Speaker 5 (39:43):
To there's no meat on Wait, so what was your
argument about pheasants then?

Speaker 2 (39:46):
What was that?

Speaker 5 (39:47):
You were like, I do this because we eat it,
And now you're like, just do this because it's gonna
cost me Monday.

Speaker 4 (39:54):
I'm just saying I'm not I'm not. I'm not all
about murdering every animal that I see. I'm not a psychopath.
I'm not just walking around with the gun trying to
kill small animals.

Speaker 5 (40:02):
And now you are. Yeah, now you're string You are.

Speaker 6 (40:07):
Walking around in your back door with where's masnaire.

Speaker 2 (40:09):
It's in my driveway and I'm sniping it from my kitchen.

Speaker 5 (40:12):
I think you can shoot it.

Speaker 2 (40:13):
You can.

Speaker 5 (40:14):
You can shoot at rats. I think you can shoot
at rats. I think you can shoot at fucking.

Speaker 3 (40:18):
The cardinals are red flying rats.

Speaker 2 (40:20):
Yeah exactly, they're just red flying rats.

Speaker 5 (40:22):
They're all pigeons that you can shoot pigeons.

Speaker 7 (40:25):
They're beautiful, they're doves.

Speaker 4 (40:27):
So it's weird that you guys are like making this
animal just because it's pretty.

Speaker 2 (40:31):
You're making it better than rats.

Speaker 5 (40:33):
It's a state bird. It's not real.

Speaker 7 (40:35):
Hey, Blake, why do you fly out there, shave it,
feed it and make it your own?

Speaker 5 (40:42):
Bring your sisters?

Speaker 1 (40:42):
Well, why don't you fly about it?

Speaker 2 (40:44):
So Durst, where do you stand? Where do you stand
on this?

Speaker 3 (40:46):
Here's my take? Here's my take.

Speaker 7 (40:47):
The more I keep thinking of like other solutions that
have like other moving parts. I was going to go, hey,
why don't you put one of those like little spiky
strips on top of the mirror so it doesn't land there.

Speaker 5 (40:58):
Yeah, it's smart.

Speaker 7 (40:59):
It also is way too much time and not as
fun as fucking getting a baby gun and killing this
fucking bird.

Speaker 3 (41:06):
And then it's over, it's done with.

Speaker 5 (41:07):
You can bury it.

Speaker 2 (41:09):
It might not even kill it. It might just tag
it and go, you know what, I gotta get out
of here.

Speaker 5 (41:14):
What if it looks right back at you and just goes, Okay,
you're gonna hurt the bird. And if you don't hurt
the bird, you're gonna fucking hurt your fucking truck.

Speaker 13 (41:23):
Dude.

Speaker 5 (41:23):
I guarantee you're gonna shoot at that.

Speaker 2 (41:25):
Bird because it's an airsoft gun.

Speaker 5 (41:27):
Yeah, it's gonna cost you so much more money.

Speaker 7 (41:29):
It's an airsoft gun, just like those those like plastic
peltins plastic.

Speaker 3 (41:33):
Okay, yeah, they ain't gonna do shit.

Speaker 2 (41:34):
Yeah, it's strong. It is strong. I mean, admittedly, might.

Speaker 5 (41:38):
As well hit it with a NERF gun. Why don't
you get a fucking get a NERF gun?

Speaker 1 (41:41):
In my boat is green light if you eat it.
If you don't eat it, you don't get to kill it.

Speaker 7 (41:45):
Well, he's not gonna kill it. That gun can't kill
it unless it shoots it like in the eyeball and
it goes through and out the other eyeball.

Speaker 5 (41:52):
Well, no, then it's gonna be blind.

Speaker 1 (41:53):
Yeah, and that's even right.

Speaker 3 (41:54):
But then it won't be the land on the car
unless it can smell the mirror.

Speaker 2 (41:57):
See, this is what I help, This is what I hope,
hope I tag it.

Speaker 4 (42:01):
It's not murdered, and it goes back to its friends
and it's like, yo, dude, you know we've been shitting
all over that truck for the past two months.

Speaker 2 (42:08):
We cannot do that anymore.

Speaker 1 (42:10):
A lot of times you would watch a f V
and be like, oh, that dad for sure died right
death by getting his nuts kicked one hundred times.

Speaker 3 (42:18):
Right, he got killed by the Jack Lowe.

Speaker 4 (42:26):
Those were the craziest funniest home videos when you would
it was the craziest funniest home videos when you were like, oh,
that guy, like for sure it really hurt himself, like
a dad who's like fixing the lights on the roof
for Christmas, and then he just slides off the roof
and you're like, he's paralyzed.

Speaker 2 (42:44):
He's paralyzed.

Speaker 1 (42:44):
He fell thirty feet, right, and then it just cuts
to a super nineties audience like.

Speaker 5 (42:50):
Yeah, and he's runner up for Best Video this week.

Speaker 1 (42:53):
Bes you're in vote.

Speaker 7 (42:54):
They would fucking play that sick music while everyone's doing
their little dune.

Speaker 2 (42:59):
Yeah, Sagan had the last laugh.

Speaker 5 (43:02):
Yes he did. Bro, they were doing voiceovers on like
all those clips. Man, they would string out right.

Speaker 7 (43:08):
Can we just do a Bob Sagga appreciation dude, let's
start it now.

Speaker 1 (43:12):
I mean think about Okay, stop the pod.

Speaker 2 (43:15):
This guy's this guy's trying to appreciate today. Thank you,
d I love that.

Speaker 3 (43:19):
I love that about hey, man, give them roses while
they're here.

Speaker 5 (43:22):
There you go with you, Bob Saggat, Thank you, Bro,
thank you, thank.

Speaker 2 (43:28):
You Raised.

Speaker 5 (43:31):
Tanner for all those little voices that you put underneath
people getting hurt. That ship was funny as hell. I
don't think that was him. I think he brought Dave
Koyer on board to do those voices. What do you mean,
Dave Koyer had his own show.

Speaker 7 (43:47):
Dave Koye did the voice of the Jackalobe for sure,
because it was the same voice that wasn't AFV that.

Speaker 3 (43:53):
Was on his show that was America's Funniest People.

Speaker 7 (43:55):
I think that he's on America's Funny some video And
then they were like, this guy's a genius. No, he's
dating six year old Alanis Morrisset. We got it from
his own show.

Speaker 5 (44:08):
Wait, you think that Bob Saggett had a show and
then he got Dave Koolier to do the voices, and
then Dave Koyer was given a spin Have you never
been on a show that Adam created? No, I'm saying
then he got his spin off from that. Because I
thought Bob Saget did the voices and Dave Koolier did
the voices. I thought that the same format, two different people.
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (44:30):
There's literally no way to tell, but I'm looking at
the cast and it's Tom Bergeron did it for a while.

Speaker 1 (44:36):
Bob saga, well that's new, that's new, And can we
stop the pod for a second and give Todd Bergeron
his roses for a man?

Speaker 2 (44:44):
Well, no, we can't, Todd, dam we can't give Todd.

Speaker 5 (44:50):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (44:50):
Well, actually let's give Todd because.

Speaker 4 (44:51):
That might be Tom's younger brother or his dad who
didn't get a lot of shine.

Speaker 5 (44:56):
Check it out. See who he's related to.

Speaker 4 (44:58):
Yeah, Tom Burcharn might have had a relative named Todd.
And you know, to be a relative of a super
famous guy like Tom burs run and your name is
also pretty close to Tom.

Speaker 2 (45:08):
It's Todd.

Speaker 4 (45:09):
I'm assuming that it was kind of hard for him,
so big shot out and let's appreciate you.

Speaker 5 (45:14):
Don Mercer appreciate it well.

Speaker 1 (45:17):
Their father dom was a huge influence as well.

Speaker 3 (45:20):
He's the host of Prancing Prancing with the Stars.

Speaker 1 (45:24):
I will say that America's Funniest People did have a
low key banger theme song, and that I feel like
not everybody knows that one. Was it?

Speaker 5 (45:34):
The one that ends in America America?

Speaker 3 (45:38):
But this is you America's Funniest home videos. No, yes
it is, Yes it is.

Speaker 5 (45:45):
I had the same thought. Blake that's not you go
look it up and I'm gonna be over here, maybe
being right on the fence next, or.

Speaker 1 (45:54):
That was the Dave Coolier and I love that.

Speaker 3 (45:58):
Yeah, Hey, here's a poll for everyone at home.

Speaker 8 (46:01):
Do you love that?

Speaker 7 (46:01):
We're deep diving?

Speaker 5 (46:02):
They say?

Speaker 6 (46:03):
Are you ready?

Speaker 1 (46:04):
Camera roll?

Speaker 5 (46:06):
Because it's the red, white, and blue? This is America.
The funniest things you do.

Speaker 3 (46:12):
Some videos and your voice is just fucking good.

Speaker 4 (46:17):
Not only is cow my favorite actor, he might be
one of my favorite singers. I just like how he
goes for it and he's not afraid of what he
sounds like.

Speaker 5 (46:24):
Thank you, You're welcome. I hope to do that forever.

Speaker 1 (46:30):
Right, Yeah, that's sick, scratchy voice.

Speaker 5 (46:38):
We'll find out.

Speaker 2 (46:42):
Clarica.

Speaker 1 (46:45):
All right, I apologize. I will be apologizing at the
end of the show. Just wait for it, all right,
But I am sorry right now. I am sorry about
what I said.

Speaker 3 (46:54):
Do you think that's the same woman who sang on?

Speaker 1 (46:57):
Was?

Speaker 7 (46:57):
Was it the step by step that had the woman singing?
Could have been the full house theme too? Or no?

Speaker 5 (47:02):
That was a dude.

Speaker 1 (47:03):
I think that there's so many good theme songs. What's
the last show that had a good do.

Speaker 7 (47:06):
We talk about them, Addict have talked about do we
dip back into our own shit again?

Speaker 5 (47:11):
Well? That is that scratchy voice is reminiscent of all
those nineties sitcom openers, and we do have a dope
ass video.

Speaker 4 (47:18):
Yeah them, Addict is one of my favorite sketches that
we've ever done. I thought that was a that was
that was a banger, a classic banger.

Speaker 7 (47:26):
We did a sketch several years ago before everything, where
I was like a recording engineer looking for the next
hot talent to record a sick nineties theme song for
a TV show because theme songs were big back then.

Speaker 5 (47:38):
And this little rube named Andy I think m h.

Speaker 2 (47:42):
I think it was Andy Bovine was Andy bo Yeah.

Speaker 7 (47:45):
And it's it's Adam as like this fresh new talent
and he just fucking blows my mind. Then he gets
hooked on cocaine.

Speaker 2 (47:53):
And then heroin, and then he gets a manager.

Speaker 5 (47:56):
His manager Chucky gay Wagon, right, yes, Chucky g Chucky
gay Wagon, Jackie gay Wagon. How are and what song
did you die?

Speaker 3 (48:04):
Recording?

Speaker 2 (48:05):
He like? Step by step was step by step, day
by day. Yeah, And then and then when it goes time.

Speaker 3 (48:16):
And we're gonna play that right now.

Speaker 4 (48:25):
We had a meth lab across the street from our house.
You guys have been in my house. It's a totally
normal suburban home and like just the most regular ass
suburban house.

Speaker 2 (48:39):
And then right across the street, uh, me and I
think it was my buddy Zach.

Speaker 4 (48:45):
We were uh it was our senior year, and we
got off for a period in the middle of the day.
We had like a period off during lunchtime, so we
went to my house to smoke the weed and chill.
And we're sitting there and all of a sudden, we
see liked a and like full REI ach here march
up my sidewalk, and I'm like, oh shit, how much

(49:06):
weed do we have on? Wow, they're really bringing out
all the guns for our fifteen dollars worth of weed.
And they throw a battering ram through my neighbors who's
like across the street. But I could see into their
backyard through their back door, and they came in through
the front door, and I guess there's a full on
fucking meth lab that these people had in their basement,
like a full lab, breaking bad stuff.

Speaker 5 (49:28):
Wow, that's very breaking bad.

Speaker 7 (49:29):
Yes, yeah, you know what meth must be fucking good.

Speaker 4 (49:33):
So maybe that's why I think, uh, maybe that's where
any place that reminds me of where I grew up
reminds me of meths.

Speaker 5 (49:40):
I was wondering, what is meth? I've never done meth,
but like.

Speaker 1 (49:43):
What is it?

Speaker 2 (49:44):
Okay, well why are we asking? Dors Doors hasn't done
any math?

Speaker 7 (49:47):
Well?

Speaker 5 (49:48):
Well, laugh, it's discovering because I just feel like talking
to my buddy Doors. What dude, Okay, what's up? Dude?

Speaker 7 (49:54):
You know it's it's for sure a bunch of stuff
with other things and uh, but I don't know what
it is.

Speaker 3 (50:01):
It's chemicals.

Speaker 1 (50:01):
I mean, people were You're asking the wrong guy.

Speaker 7 (50:04):
They were making baking soda with like uh like over
the counter fucking ni quil and shit.

Speaker 5 (50:13):
No, I know they make this ship in the bathtubs,
like because you and sometimes they put carpet in men
and like chlorox. Yeah, it's like a lot of cams
and then they put like, uh, even carpet in it,
because I remember somebody saying, is it that good carpet meth?

Speaker 7 (50:27):
And why do you think they put carpet in it?
And be sure and slide in our dms about the carpet.

Speaker 5 (50:31):
I'm sure it has to have something to do with
like what's ceiling the bottom of the carpet and you
put that in the bathtub and then it like dissolves.
You're sure, yeah, yeah, he's sure.

Speaker 2 (50:42):
He's sure about that.

Speaker 7 (50:43):
Yes, I'm sure it has to do with the bottom
of the carpet.

Speaker 5 (50:46):
I'm sure that that's like the best. Uh, that's the
best I could come up with.

Speaker 7 (50:51):
Okay, yeah, Like it must be good though, man if
people are buying it like this and getting hooked, like fuck,
oh yeah that crazy.

Speaker 2 (50:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (50:59):
Yeah, Well, the thing is, like meth, you don't want
to do any drugs that you that immediately you go
from being a handsome looking person or a beautiful looking
person to the ugliest, most.

Speaker 2 (51:10):
Foul looking, right, it really does, and it goes so quick.

Speaker 5 (51:14):
Like that's why it.

Speaker 4 (51:16):
Seems like cocaine's the best drug because in those mug
shots where they take like the person, the person gets
arrested every fucking year for ten years straight, and then
they're like it's always like four years in that person
looks hot as fuck, right, They're like their hottest that
they've ever been three or four years into their super addiction,
and then it fully goes off the rails.

Speaker 7 (51:37):
So there's been a few of those like what would
you call like chronological mugshot type things, and then you know,
I don't want to shout any of them out because
most of those people have died already.

Speaker 5 (51:47):
Sure.

Speaker 1 (51:48):
Sure, but we were trying to date you at at
stage four, that's when the death is really hitting. Then
it starts to really drop on.

Speaker 7 (51:58):
No.

Speaker 2 (51:58):
I feel like, no, meth.

Speaker 4 (51:59):
I think you're pretty ugly, like right away, first stop right.
It feels like you fall right off the edge of
the cliff.

Speaker 7 (52:06):
But if you were fat, you lose that fat, you
get trim. You have a moment, you for sure have
that meth moment.

Speaker 1 (52:12):
But then you start to get the sores in the
face tats and yeah, you get the sores and thing,
and you know it says mister Ice on your forehead,
and it's.

Speaker 3 (52:21):
Like, what is this right, that's the automatic tattoo.

Speaker 2 (52:25):
It says property of mister Ice.

Speaker 3 (52:27):
What does her tattoo say?

Speaker 5 (52:28):
It says mister Ice.

Speaker 2 (52:30):
It says property of mister Ice.

Speaker 5 (52:32):
Fuck.

Speaker 1 (52:32):
Yeah, I just do always remember any time you would
drive through, like on the way to Vegas or maybe
it was even in Conquered, there'd be those posters that
said I lost me to meth and like.

Speaker 2 (52:44):
People are losing themselves.

Speaker 3 (52:45):
To one of our greatest sentences ever.

Speaker 1 (52:47):
Yeah it's whoever the ad wizard for that was just
a g.

Speaker 5 (52:51):
I lost me as opposed to like I lost myself? Whatever?

Speaker 3 (52:57):
Can we get to the model of this?

Speaker 7 (52:58):
Yeah, let's go, what's your longest single orgasm session?

Speaker 5 (53:03):
Ben, this is.

Speaker 2 (53:04):
Forty like like I'm orgasmine for the entire time, or
like you like, that's a good question.

Speaker 5 (53:10):
Though we've all we've all had the one where you're like,
I already busted. I'm gonna run it back.

Speaker 7 (53:16):
We have, you've never run it back.

Speaker 2 (53:19):
You got to run it back every once in a while.

Speaker 5 (53:20):
Of course, you run it back.

Speaker 1 (53:22):
I mean maybe in earlier years.

Speaker 7 (53:24):
But yeah, well when you get to your forties, yeah right,
But what I'm saying, what I'm saying is those sessions
would be longer because you're looking for a double barrel
bang bang, And what I'm talking about is your longest
single shot session.

Speaker 4 (53:37):
I'm a man, ye, And this is why all the
gay dudes are flocking into my dms, because because I
want shut up about my long ass crank sessions.

Speaker 1 (53:47):
I mean, I bet there's some girls who want to
hear about that.

Speaker 2 (53:51):
No, girls want to hear about the man.

Speaker 4 (53:54):
It's disgusting. Women look beautiful when they masturbate. Men are
just just an angry gorilla thumping something.

Speaker 5 (54:01):
Not all of them. Not all men are just thumping something.
They're just like, yeah, not all of them.

Speaker 4 (54:07):
Who looks good cranking down Jared Letto probably of course
he's saying nothing.

Speaker 1 (54:11):
Well, yeah, he's saying not all girls.

Speaker 3 (54:13):
I was saying, not all women look great.

Speaker 1 (54:15):
Oh sure, well yeah, sometimes they get that look on
their face that's like.

Speaker 7 (54:20):
Right, where like they get too aggressive and you're like
slow it down. Well, and by the way, I'm just
saying this off like a cam girl who's like going
too crazy and you're like, sure, sure, what are you doing.

Speaker 3 (54:31):
Nobody's gonna pay for that.

Speaker 5 (54:32):
That's her job.

Speaker 2 (54:33):
So yeah, she's she's put in that work and under
somebody will pay for that.

Speaker 5 (54:39):
Trust me.

Speaker 1 (54:39):
There's a guy out there.

Speaker 5 (54:40):
I said it, and I wanted it back.

Speaker 1 (54:42):
It's called beautiful agony dot.

Speaker 5 (54:44):
Com ship back in the day. Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (54:50):
For those of you who don't know, and you probably shouldn't,
Beautiful agony dot Com was just a camera set on
a girl's face as she orgasmed, and you would just
watch her face only right.

Speaker 7 (55:01):
Like collarbone up, Yeah.

Speaker 5 (55:03):
Right, beautiful, it's beautiful. Right.

Speaker 4 (55:04):
People are into the weirdest stuff, man, people, I mean
they find the weirdest shit to just crank down to.

Speaker 5 (55:12):
Well, that's just that's like cranking down to facial emotions.
That's what that is. That's no, like nothing else. Yeah,
that's not that weird though, Is that weird?

Speaker 2 (55:21):
Yeah, dude, just someone's face that is a little weird.

Speaker 1 (55:25):
It's a king.

Speaker 5 (55:25):
I understand it's abnormal. Yeah, sure, so it's it's abnormal.
It's a disgusting happening.

Speaker 4 (55:30):
I'm just saying to me, that's weird. But someone else, obviously,
to you, it's not that weird.

Speaker 2 (55:35):
It sounds awesome.

Speaker 5 (55:36):
Well yeah, it's sometimes. I mean, yeah, it's not that
weird to me at all. It feels it's not that crazy.

Speaker 1 (55:43):
Yeah, you know, there's something for everybody.

Speaker 2 (55:45):
There's something for everyone for sure.

Speaker 1 (55:47):
Two girls one cup.

Speaker 5 (55:48):
Yeah, there's two girls one cup.

Speaker 8 (55:49):
That's that.

Speaker 5 (55:50):
I don't that. I'm not endorsing that, sir, everybody. When
is that going to get sent back? Around.

Speaker 7 (55:54):
I'm kind of surprised that hasn't had like a second
wave or is it like a rite of passage for
twelve year olds everyone.

Speaker 2 (56:01):
Wonder?

Speaker 8 (56:02):
I bet that.

Speaker 4 (56:02):
I mean, there's so many gross stuff out now, I
feel like that's not even that elite level of gross
the cause of diary, Like.

Speaker 5 (56:10):
What have you seen this?

Speaker 3 (56:11):
Grosser?

Speaker 5 (56:12):
Yeah?

Speaker 10 (56:12):
Then the eating of the ship and the uh beautiful
agony that's not gross, it's beautiful.

Speaker 1 (56:17):
Do you think that's gross? That's beautiful, beautiful, Yeah, it's gorgeous.
You think female orgasms are disgusting? I'm hung up on
that egg And then watchasm you're tripping.

Speaker 2 (56:28):
Well, yeah, I'm not gonna unpack that.

Speaker 1 (56:30):
This is forty.

Speaker 2 (56:32):
What's gonna kill me?

Speaker 5 (56:34):
Yeah, or anybody?

Speaker 7 (56:35):
I don't whatever, Like not like a train or whatever,
like a car, But like, what's the thing you think
is gonna the health?

Speaker 5 (56:41):
What's the health?

Speaker 1 (56:42):
I think something's gonna just drop out of a tree
and and hit me on the head, and that's gonna.

Speaker 5 (56:47):
Be That's an accident, right, That's what I just said,
was burying an accident?

Speaker 2 (56:50):
He said the He said the opposite of that.

Speaker 1 (56:52):
No, it was an accident because I didn't. You didn't
let me finish. Kyle drops a coconut out of the
tree and kills me.

Speaker 5 (56:58):
You got killed by a coconut that I dropped out
of the tree. That's what you came up with to
walk that one back.

Speaker 1 (57:03):
I think Kyle's gonna kill me.

Speaker 4 (57:05):
Damn it, Blake, you're just stealing bits from Adam Devine's
house party Hawaii.

Speaker 2 (57:09):
Yeah, I see you.

Speaker 5 (57:10):
That's right, and you busted me.

Speaker 1 (57:13):
And okay, I didn't know if you remembered them all.

Speaker 2 (57:18):
I see you, I see you stealing that bitch.

Speaker 1 (57:20):
I didn't even know you watched a lot of times
I reached back into the house party bag. I dust
them off. But you guys, I should know. We got
creators of the show here.

Speaker 5 (57:31):
I'm gonna die as Blason kill me with these jokes.

Speaker 2 (57:35):
Okay, but.

Speaker 1 (57:40):
What is the most recent show in memory that had
an actual good theme song. I'm trying to think of
any shows that had.

Speaker 3 (57:47):
I mean, I like The Office's theme song, well, oh.

Speaker 5 (57:51):
Look at you.

Speaker 2 (57:52):
Yeah, it might be Workaholics.

Speaker 5 (57:54):
When did we stop summarizing the premise because that was cool?
When theme songs had like lyrics and they actually proved
you what was going on in the show. That's dope,
right right, we don't do that anymore. The Brady Bunch
and like small Wonder, Yeah, can we just shout can
we just give appreciation to small Ones?

Speaker 8 (58:12):
Bro?

Speaker 5 (58:12):
The Adams family. Can we give an appreciation of Adams
Family while they're still here?

Speaker 1 (58:16):
Well, they're still here, all right. Yeah, So what you're
saying is we should have took the beat from the
Skinny Boys. That's the people that do the group that
did the Workahol's theme songow and kind of explained what
our show was. Have them re recorded like four dudes
at home and they work there too.

Speaker 7 (58:35):
Yeah, they don't work at home, and there's only three
fourth ones a ghost and you never see them.

Speaker 5 (58:40):
Yeah, there's three of them.

Speaker 2 (58:42):
Blake forgot, Blake forgot our show.

Speaker 5 (58:45):
Blake's had a different play that sometimes. But yeah, it
would be something like that.

Speaker 1 (58:50):
Like I was just looking at four people on the screen.
I assume Kyle was one of the roommates.

Speaker 5 (58:57):
Well, I was there the whole time.

Speaker 3 (58:58):
Yeah, but for seven years didn't you film that TV show?

Speaker 2 (59:01):
Yeah, we're in you there for eighty six eighty seven
episodes something like that.

Speaker 5 (59:05):
Yeah, but at this moment, I'm looking at four people.

Speaker 3 (59:07):
I was on a crowded street.

Speaker 7 (59:08):
I'd say the show with eighty nine roots that also
work together at a grocery store parking lot.

Speaker 5 (59:16):
I'm sorry, guys, I'm out of the street. Just siety
nine people.

Speaker 1 (59:20):
I just.

Speaker 5 (59:22):
Yeah, your eyes are in charge of your brain. I
love it.

Speaker 1 (59:27):
Ay, maybe that's what it's a.

Speaker 5 (59:29):
Microphone, a computer and four pictures of people.

Speaker 1 (59:33):
It's this podcast.

Speaker 5 (59:35):
Your eyes are in charge of your brain.

Speaker 1 (59:39):
You're a stupid, dumb aut dumb as dumba man.

Speaker 3 (59:44):
Can we just shout out Beavis and butter Bro.

Speaker 5 (59:46):
Give it up for Mike Judge? All right, I just
appreciate Mike Judge for a second.

Speaker 2 (59:51):
All right, need appreciation. Now we're living legend.

Speaker 5 (59:54):
Mate. Oh man, Yeah, I think it's a surfer and
I like that.

Speaker 2 (59:58):
There's another. There's so porn actress with the last name Divine.

Speaker 7 (01:00:01):
I bet if you type in Divine into porn hub,
there's more than three porno actors with the last name
Divine or first and then strippers.

Speaker 5 (01:00:09):
There's one at every club.

Speaker 3 (01:00:11):
Yeah yeah, wait, fuck where were we.

Speaker 1 (01:00:16):
We could be for aliens? We could talk about porno.
We could talk about a listers.

Speaker 3 (01:00:20):
We were talking about Adam Oh, the crossing over the porno.

Speaker 7 (01:00:23):
I mean, like, but it's all about money, so an
a lister, you know, they would they want what they
need to do that I do remember. And this isn't porno.
But like Holly Berry when she did that movie where
she showed her titties.

Speaker 1 (01:00:34):
This ain't Ghostbusters.

Speaker 5 (01:00:36):
Yeah, what about Joaquin Phoenix?

Speaker 1 (01:00:38):
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold up. He was
about to talk about hal Berry.

Speaker 5 (01:00:41):
All right, sorry, sorry, I gotta walk.

Speaker 7 (01:00:42):
Like Holly Berry had like never shown her body before,
and then for that like Hugh Jackman Hacker movie, right, she.

Speaker 1 (01:00:49):
Shows it's called Swordfish, thank you, this is important.

Speaker 7 (01:00:54):
She showed her tatus and yes, sir, she was joking
on some talk show that she like got paid two
million dollars more a million for each top that is.
And I'm like, okay, well so that's that's close to
acknowledging that you're doing it for the money, right, yeah, and.

Speaker 5 (01:01:11):
That's a list.

Speaker 11 (01:01:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:01:13):
Bella Thorne is on what's it called right, raking it in?

Speaker 11 (01:01:16):
Right?

Speaker 4 (01:01:17):
Yeah, she hit me up and said that she'd like
to be on this podcast. Bella Thorne did, oh yeah, okay, cool,
we don't have guests.

Speaker 2 (01:01:23):
We don't have guests, but we.

Speaker 3 (01:01:25):
Don't have but we will talk talk about it.

Speaker 2 (01:01:27):
We will talk about her.

Speaker 5 (01:01:28):
I'll give you a man.

Speaker 8 (01:01:30):
Yeah, well man, I like that.

Speaker 2 (01:01:31):
I'm not afraid of message.

Speaker 5 (01:01:32):
What about Joaquin when he sniffed that dude or that
that girl's ass in the movie, Remember he was like
he bit he bit her ass in the documentary the
Casey Affleck doc where he was like, yeah, I think
they know.

Speaker 3 (01:01:43):
I think that was a Remember that he was like.

Speaker 5 (01:01:45):
Doing cocaine and he had strippers in the studio. When
he became a rapper, he put gum under a letterman's
desk and he.

Speaker 1 (01:01:51):
Made that crazy like I'm still here.

Speaker 12 (01:01:54):
M h.

Speaker 5 (01:01:56):
Was a brown bunny. Uh ye did a little oral yep.

Speaker 1 (01:02:02):
But we're talking. I think I think Adam and I
don't want to speak for you, but we're talking.

Speaker 2 (01:02:06):
Please I would if you spoke for me.

Speaker 1 (01:02:08):
We want an a listener to do hardcore Parno.

Speaker 4 (01:02:11):
Right, I'm just saying, when is it going to happen.
It's going to happen. We're walking down the road for sure.

Speaker 1 (01:02:17):
Yes, because if if Jake Paul can box, it's going
to lead to Leo DiCaprio doing porno.

Speaker 7 (01:02:23):
Yeah, no, no, But Jake Paul is doing this like
this is his biggest thing, right, this is sure, this
is different. But like obviously Kim Kardashian was first mostly
famous from that tape, right, and now she's parlayed into
something else. Jake Paul's like, well, let me fight these
people and become more famous. He's like, I'll be an
evil guy for ten years and then after that I'll

(01:02:45):
be just a regular person.

Speaker 5 (01:02:46):
Probably, that's my guess.

Speaker 8 (01:02:47):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 5 (01:02:47):
Maybe what about it when like Kanye West designed the
porn Hub Awards, Like I know he did that so
tight he did, Yeah, he did. He was the set
designer and the production designer for the porn Hub Awards
like three or four years yars ago.

Speaker 4 (01:03:00):
So it was his idea for just the orange and black.
He's like, yo, it's Halloween every day.

Speaker 3 (01:03:08):
We all wear masks.

Speaker 5 (01:03:09):
I know he did that. That's like because he doesn't
necessarily need to go over to Pornhub to do that.
He's just doing that, you know what I mean.

Speaker 7 (01:03:16):
It's just like well, I mean, like, uh, what's his name,
Dustin Diamond. I mean, there have been not a listers,
but like China China Rip Classic.

Speaker 4 (01:03:26):
It's usually one people have really fallen on hard times. Yeah,
you know, it's like they fallen and they need money
or there's something else, or they just missed being famous
so much they.

Speaker 2 (01:03:38):
Just need a boost something like that.

Speaker 4 (01:03:40):
There's never been like a full on Angelina Joe Lee
just goes and now what, guess what, here's my hardcore
porno tape.

Speaker 2 (01:03:49):
Like that's never happened.

Speaker 7 (01:03:50):
I think someone will do it as a state. Well
what's his name?

Speaker 5 (01:03:54):
Fuck somebody?

Speaker 1 (01:03:56):
N no, no, no.

Speaker 5 (01:03:57):
The artists.

Speaker 2 (01:03:59):
Vin des Porn.

Speaker 5 (01:04:02):
Was let's go talk.

Speaker 3 (01:04:03):
I'm gonna go think on this.

Speaker 1 (01:04:04):
Tyree was like on Instant Life, like shaving his girls. Uh,
whoa really yeah he was?

Speaker 5 (01:04:11):
Whoa whoa That dude does some wild ship on insta
live right, Like, yeah, he airs out some laundry.

Speaker 4 (01:04:18):
Yeah, he's he's got some demons or something. Wasn't he
like crying on ending?

Speaker 5 (01:04:22):
Yes, hold on circling back? Is it Jeffrey Coon's right,
Coontes or whatever? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:04:27):
The artist?

Speaker 5 (01:04:28):
The artist?

Speaker 3 (01:04:29):
Uh huh right, So back.

Speaker 7 (01:04:31):
In the day he either married or engaged or was
dating this like famous porno star and then he I
think I've talked about this on the podcast. He did
this whole photo shoot of like full on porno with her,
with his dick and everything. And I was in New
York and went and saw the exhibit.

Speaker 5 (01:04:49):
When my kid, my.

Speaker 7 (01:04:51):
First kid, was like you brought your child twelve twelve
months old.

Speaker 5 (01:04:55):
He was like an infant.

Speaker 7 (01:04:56):
And we were in New York one year and we
went into this other room and it was all so
just like ten by ten foot full insertion close ups
and he was like.

Speaker 5 (01:05:06):
Pointing, like whoa, And I'm like, I don't know if
we should be in here.

Speaker 7 (01:05:11):
We should get him out of here. But then I'm like,
he doesn't know what he's looking at.

Speaker 5 (01:05:14):
I'm sorry, but he did it.

Speaker 7 (01:05:16):
That's the that's the He was a famous artist at
the peak of his powers and he just did porno.

Speaker 5 (01:05:22):
Also, I was just thinking about this, who's to say
that there's not one just doing the POV stuff and
we don't know, you know what?

Speaker 1 (01:05:29):
I oh, right, like a little mask barr, They're going
to drop a catalog on us.

Speaker 5 (01:05:34):
He's filming it and then the reveal is coming.

Speaker 4 (01:05:37):
Yeah, it's just Jake jillen All wearing a ski mask
just right Nightcrawler throwing it.

Speaker 5 (01:05:42):
Down allegedly Randy quits porn. Was he wearing a mask
or was his wife wearing a mask? I don't know,
but if you're at home, feel free to pull it
up and check it out.

Speaker 3 (01:05:54):
Send us dms about who was wearing a mask.

Speaker 4 (01:06:00):
This kid that I knew in high school that he
uh wait, is that chromatically incorrect? He was like a
star basketball player and he was like a stud. But
he was like, I'm a senior and this kid's a freshman.
And he was like, uh yo, Adam, can I get
a ride home from school? And I'm like, no, I
don't want to. I'm not going to take you home.

Speaker 2 (01:06:20):
From school freshman. He's a freshman.

Speaker 5 (01:06:25):
And I'm like I'm like popular, No, no, dude.

Speaker 4 (01:06:27):
And he's like, I'll smoke with you, and I'm like,
get in, buddy, and then he hops in.

Speaker 2 (01:06:33):
We're smoking weed together.

Speaker 4 (01:06:34):
I'm gonna drop him off at his house and he
goes as we're smoking weed, he goes, hey.

Speaker 2 (01:06:39):
Dude, have you ever smoked weed with a bombing fluid
in it? And I'm like, what, Like what they pumped
dead bodies with? It's ebalming fluid.

Speaker 4 (01:06:51):
It's what they fill a dead body, embalming embalming, embalming fluid,
and that's different than for mel behind. I don't I
don't know, question marks a great question, A great question,
no way to tell. And uh so I was like, oh, fuck, no, dude,
that sounds insane. He's like, uh, actually is pretty good,
but yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 (01:07:11):
And I'm like, well that's weird.

Speaker 1 (01:07:12):
It's actually really tasty.

Speaker 4 (01:07:14):
And then as we're driving, he goes, would you mind
getting me some cigarettes? I'm like, fuck, all right, So
I pull over to the gas station, gonna go buy
this kid's cigarettes. I go inside. All of a sudden,
it's like, oh and I'm fully fucked up on ebalming fluid.

Speaker 2 (01:07:29):
However you say it, and I'm fucking balming dude. Uh yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:07:35):
And it was like the worst weirdest trip that I've
ever had. And I dropped this kid, and then I
had to go to work and try to uh sell steaks.

Speaker 7 (01:07:42):
I think you skipped a beat in there, like you
realize that you had just smoked it.

Speaker 4 (01:07:47):
Yeah, right, and then and it wasn't until I didn't
realize in that moment, I was just like, oh, am,
I the highest I've ever been, Like I took four
hits of weed. But you know, I'm in high school, like,
I'm not sure how things affect in the same way
that now I would probably know right away.

Speaker 2 (01:08:02):
But back then I was just like, oh, this weed
must be mad good. And then I am at work
and I'm like, no, something's not right. I'm fully fucked.

Speaker 3 (01:08:10):
Up, Like, and what was work?

Speaker 5 (01:08:13):
What's work for you?

Speaker 2 (01:08:14):
At this point, I was selling steaks. Omaha, steaks, Okay,
not like working with scissors or something. No, no scissor work.

Speaker 4 (01:08:21):
And then uh, but then that kid ended up Obviously
he was a little drug to math drug kid. He
lost him to math right, and he was like a
star basketball player as a freshman.

Speaker 2 (01:08:33):
You had a you know, it seemed like a good
at least a good high school life ahead of him.

Speaker 8 (01:08:37):
So I flew it.

Speaker 5 (01:08:37):
Man, that's a bummer. Man, it's a bumber dude. Addiction
can take them, Addiction can take you. It can take
you all the way down to the grave.

Speaker 7 (01:08:46):
And guys, the moral of the story is just don't
do drugs unless you can fucking handle your ship.

Speaker 2 (01:08:51):
Unless you can handle your ship, that's right.

Speaker 7 (01:08:53):
And if you and there's only one way to find
out if you can handle your shit. You gotta try
a game.

Speaker 2 (01:08:59):
Yeah, try it.

Speaker 5 (01:09:00):
Yeah, you just gotta get out of the hole before
you can't All right, that's what it is, right, So.

Speaker 3 (01:09:05):
Try try every drug.

Speaker 5 (01:09:06):
But then just if you can't handle your ship, you
gotta get out.

Speaker 2 (01:09:09):
And handle your ship.

Speaker 5 (01:09:10):
Get out of the hole before you can't climb it.

Speaker 7 (01:09:13):
I think that's why I've never done hard fucking drugs,
because I'm like, I can't handle that shit, can't.

Speaker 1 (01:09:18):
Yeah, well, it's good to know that.

Speaker 5 (01:09:19):
That's absolutely why I never did heroin or fucking acid,
because I'm like, I think I would break, I would
go deep into the heroin world. Yeah, you got heroin
written all over. I love the opioids.

Speaker 2 (01:09:34):
Yeah, you're my heroin girl.

Speaker 5 (01:09:36):
Wow, I loved opioids. I love that feeling. So I'm like,
that's what that's all it is. Man, But you're throwing
a needle in your arm, and I'm like, also, I
don't really dig needles.

Speaker 3 (01:09:45):
No, Right, you could smoke black tar heroin though, right, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:09:48):
But we do the same.

Speaker 4 (01:09:50):
It's not the same, guys. I would never ever do
that unless we do it on the podcast together.

Speaker 7 (01:09:55):
I like that. No, I would never we should get
a wheel, like a wheel of fortune that has all
the drugs listed, and just spin it and do it together.

Speaker 5 (01:10:02):
We're not what is this trend of the girls like
crossing their eyes when they're Oh yeah, what is that?

Speaker 2 (01:10:12):
That's so weird?

Speaker 5 (01:10:13):
Is it an anime thing?

Speaker 2 (01:10:14):
I think it's an anime?

Speaker 12 (01:10:15):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:10:16):
Yeah, I would also say yeah, I think it's I
didn't like it at first. I was like, this is
kind of weird, kind of cheesy.

Speaker 5 (01:10:23):
Now it's your thing, I'm kind of.

Speaker 7 (01:10:27):
I just worry about these these girls crossing their eyes
so much they might get stuck.

Speaker 1 (01:10:31):
I don't know it's going to stick that way.

Speaker 5 (01:10:32):
Haven't they ever seen the jerk? You know, you get
stuck that way if you go too much.

Speaker 1 (01:10:37):
You're more worried about their eyes getting stuck that way
and not the boot blug getting stuck right up there.

Speaker 5 (01:10:42):
Uh yeah yeah. It sounds like these video Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:10:49):
Funky, but hey, this is forty guys and the wheels
are coming off.

Speaker 4 (01:10:56):
But I am happy for him because that's what he
was like most sad about, Like yeah, because we were like, hey, yeah,
probably gonna have to cut down drinking and ship and
all that, and he's like, yay, and he's like, but
I could smoke weed, and I'm like, I don't think
you're going to be able to.

Speaker 2 (01:11:08):
And I could tell how sad that made him.

Speaker 4 (01:11:11):
Yeah, because ever since I was old enough for him
to talk to me like an adult, h you know, eleven,
and he was telling he was telling me, will.

Speaker 3 (01:11:21):
You hold this for me when we get pulled over?

Speaker 5 (01:11:23):
This is your no.

Speaker 4 (01:11:25):
He he had to get drug tested for work all
the time because he worked for the railroad.

Speaker 2 (01:11:29):
He's a conductor for the railroad too. He had to
get drug tested.

Speaker 4 (01:11:31):
So he was never able to smoke weed his entire
adult life basically, and he loved weed when he was
a kid. So when he retired, he was like, oh
fuck yeah, I'm back to getting to smoke weed and
living the life that I want to live. And that
was only a few years ago now, And just to
have that yank from him, I could tell how sad
it made him. And I was pumped when the doctor
was like, oh hell yeah, bitch.

Speaker 5 (01:11:53):
Yeah, yeah, this doctor is dope.

Speaker 2 (01:11:55):
And that's a quote from the doctor. The doctor. Oh guys,
he wore tie die.

Speaker 5 (01:11:59):
This doctor is legit, like he gets it, man, But
for real, I'm pumped too. I thought about that with Dennis,
like right away, Yeah, I think he's gonna be good.

Speaker 7 (01:12:08):
I imagine him being like totally like nodding his head
stone face, hearing all like the odds of making it
in the procedures and all the ship that's going on.

Speaker 2 (01:12:17):
And then that was horrific sounding.

Speaker 7 (01:12:19):
He just one tear comes down. You're like, dasking me okay.
He's like, no, no, I just thought of one thing.
Am I gonna be able to smoke weed? And they're
like yeah, and he just wipes the tear away. He's like, okay,
we're good.

Speaker 5 (01:12:29):
All right.

Speaker 2 (01:12:30):
No, he goes uh oh. He he literally goes, am
I gonna be able to smoke weed? And acter's like,
uh yeah, yeah, you will be able to you know,
and he kind of explained it. He goes, good, Then
we're beating this ship.

Speaker 1 (01:12:43):
Yeah, and then he put on his sunglasses and ended
the zoom.

Speaker 5 (01:12:49):
Love your phone.

Speaker 1 (01:12:50):
That's all I needed to hear.

Speaker 3 (01:12:51):
He roped a steer with his dick.

Speaker 2 (01:12:54):
Oh he's the best O good, like like he wasn't
gonna beat it until he was allowed to smoke weed,
and he's okay, good, then we are beating this ship.

Speaker 5 (01:13:02):
All right, good, Yeah, come on, he's getting in the
proper mind state.

Speaker 1 (01:13:05):
I mean, marijuana is super valuable to the process for sure,
because even like what you're talking about with like the appetite,
you really do lose it. You got to smoke that weed,
get the munch. He's back.

Speaker 2 (01:13:14):
Well, I kind of thought he was gonna be just edibles,
and I like plugged.

Speaker 4 (01:13:18):
I plugged him with tons of edibles and the can
the we drink company that I've invested in h A
N N. And so I gave him a ton of
that ship and I figured that's what the doctor was
going to be, like, okay, yeah, but just stick with
edibles or whatever. And he was like no, And the
doctor was like, nah, bras, rip that ship, dog. This

(01:13:39):
doctor is the bad dust off your song.

Speaker 13 (01:13:42):
Dude.

Speaker 5 (01:13:43):
This guy won a Nobel Peace Prize. He's off the
fucking charts.

Speaker 2 (01:13:48):
Yeah, he was Peace Pipe Prize bra.

Speaker 5 (01:13:52):
So tight damn did he get the prognosis standing on
an indo board. You thought he'd want to know Bell prize,
but you just want to know bowl prize. He fucking
kick flips his indowboard and it's like you're good, You're a.

Speaker 1 (01:14:06):
Good brush oh man.

Speaker 4 (01:14:09):
That's what I'm most looking forward to of having kids
is like having a reason to be like, you know,
let's uh, let's go down the candy aisle real quick,
because I don't really fuck with candy as an adult
because I'm worried about jawline. But as soon as you
have a kid, you're like, well, I have to give
them some high fruit toast corn syrup.

Speaker 5 (01:14:25):
Yeah, you know, and it's all good if I gain
some weight. I'm a dad, now, yeah, it's all It's okay.

Speaker 2 (01:14:30):
I'm a dad. I can strap some on.

Speaker 5 (01:14:32):
It's fine.

Speaker 4 (01:14:33):
When I was a kid, I remember, I would uh,
I had all kinds of weird side hustles. So I
would then take that money.

Speaker 2 (01:14:39):
That's what you called them, That's what I called them.

Speaker 4 (01:14:41):
When I was robbing the neighborhood kids, whoa, and I
would take that money that I got from my illegal
paper route and also robbing the neighborhood kids, and I
would get all ring pops.

Speaker 2 (01:14:52):
Baby, it was a ring pop mob. I walked down.
I'd lower this this seat on my bike and just
roll with all ring pops up on the handles. We flashing,
let him.

Speaker 5 (01:15:03):
Know we're bad. Yeah, that's a great one.

Speaker 7 (01:15:15):
That one sounds so is that a kid you said,
it's like a high school kid at like a pepper rally.

Speaker 1 (01:15:20):
No, it's college. It's longhorned.

Speaker 5 (01:15:22):
But still it's like just.

Speaker 3 (01:15:25):
Now has a place on our podcast. Yeah, he has
a good voice too.

Speaker 5 (01:15:29):
We are making it low, that's right, Like that's we're bad,
that's it putting on the loan man. Yeah, he's he's
throwing it down. It's clear though.

Speaker 1 (01:15:43):
He's like the quarterback or something. It's a big deal.
It's a stagium.

Speaker 2 (01:15:46):
Yeah. His nuts have been dropped.

Speaker 5 (01:15:48):
Right right, right, all right, all right, good, good to
glad to clarify.

Speaker 4 (01:15:51):
He's not waiting for that to drop those are he
was his nuts dropped in eighth grade And it's scion
throwing dined since then off and like Oscar, I.

Speaker 5 (01:16:06):
Got a big fucking boner right now.

Speaker 4 (01:16:10):
That one is so violent, guys, update, I don't think
I'm shooting the cardinal.

Speaker 2 (01:16:16):
I got so much blowback.

Speaker 3 (01:16:17):
And uh, it's illegal.

Speaker 2 (01:16:19):
We found yeah, we found out it's illegal. It's like
fully illegal. They're like a protected bird, by the way,
that's fucked up. They shouldn't be. They're everywhere in their nuisances. No,
but stop, but no, I'm talking now, I have something. No,
I'm talking. Oh wait, when I'm.

Speaker 5 (01:16:34):
Done and you're done, I have something really good to
say to you. Okay, go ahead.

Speaker 4 (01:16:39):
And then I was getting all kinds of people that
are like, oh, dude, that those are angels. And I
don't really believe in angels necessarily, but everyone, like a
ton of people are like, oh cardinals are like.

Speaker 2 (01:16:50):
When angel is what I was gonna say to you, dude, Well, that's.

Speaker 4 (01:16:53):
Why you gotta just let me finish so I can
complete my thoughtish.

Speaker 2 (01:16:57):
And my dad is going through all his ship right now.

Speaker 4 (01:17:00):
So I'm like, well, on the off chance that this
is real, I don't want to just be murdering possible
my family who's like coming around, and also my family
they're wild, you know, they drink a lot of gin
and vodka.

Speaker 2 (01:17:13):
They might be fucking drunk birds and hitting themselves in
the mirror.

Speaker 5 (01:17:16):
Yes. This is the setup to this is that when
a cardinal visits you, there is some lore from I've
didn't research which culture or where it comes from, but
the war is that that is a deceased family member
or friend coming to visit you.

Speaker 4 (01:17:32):
And he guess what they're coming and they're shitting all
over my stuff. I mean, they're a shitty house guest.

Speaker 5 (01:17:38):
They need to use the bathroom. They still need to
use the bathroom.

Speaker 7 (01:17:40):
Unless that comes from a Native American Indian. I'm not
buying that shit.

Speaker 5 (01:17:44):
I don't give them. I think that's where it's rooted.
I would think that that normally a lot of the
animal spirits and what they mean come from Native American lore.
Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (01:17:55):
Or a meth head or is this something a methead
came up with it?

Speaker 7 (01:17:59):
Right?

Speaker 1 (01:18:00):
I heard a cardinals, your fucking like dead grandma come
and say what's up?

Speaker 2 (01:18:04):
Well? Also, my grandmother's favorite bird was cardinals.

Speaker 5 (01:18:08):
Holy fuck, dude, Jesus Christ.

Speaker 2 (01:18:10):
And even my dad was like, that could be grandma,
And I'm like.

Speaker 3 (01:18:13):
Fuck, who said that was could be grandma?

Speaker 5 (01:18:15):
My dad?

Speaker 2 (01:18:15):
He was just joking. But I'm like, or, I don't know, no,
So I'm not gonna murder these cardinals.

Speaker 3 (01:18:21):
This is reality shrouded in jokes. Is what's going on
right now?

Speaker 2 (01:18:24):
I'm very bombed. I wanted to murder them, So.

Speaker 3 (01:18:27):
What's the solution.

Speaker 7 (01:18:28):
I was saying, maybe you could put lunch bags over
your mirrors.

Speaker 2 (01:18:32):
Yeah, no, I guess I gotta gotta go buy lunch
bags now.

Speaker 5 (01:18:34):
Well you can Amazon prime that shiit Noah, not an
ad Hey, you know somebody else also said return the
red truck, get a different color.

Speaker 2 (01:18:41):
I don't have a red truck anymore. I already got
a new truck.

Speaker 1 (01:18:44):
It's not the truck, it's the mirror.

Speaker 5 (01:18:46):
It's the birds. It's actually not even the mirror. It's
just somebody's somebody's. Adam's grandma is coming to visit him,
and he wanted to shoot her.

Speaker 2 (01:18:53):
And she's being fucking horrible.

Speaker 5 (01:18:55):
Or Vella, she's testing you, dude, she's testing you.

Speaker 3 (01:19:00):
Oh she always was.

Speaker 4 (01:19:01):
No our Veila was pretty dope, But no was she though? Well, hey,
well in the afterlife, she's proven that she wasn't.

Speaker 1 (01:19:07):
She was on the party bus.

Speaker 7 (01:19:08):
She's just testing you, man, Like, come on, I think
you were also just too young to remember that. She
was just a pile of shit, and she was She
would always shit on things, and she.

Speaker 5 (01:19:17):
Would peck it near.

Speaker 2 (01:19:18):
She was constantly pecking.

Speaker 5 (01:19:20):
You just don't remember it because you were young.

Speaker 1 (01:19:22):
Well, I'm glad you decided not to murder the cardinal.
I think that's the right decision. You know where I'm headed,
and I'll be live from next week when we record.
This is forty one Hot Atlanta, The dirty Dirty, the
dirty dirty, very good I am. I'm shipping out to
Atlanta and this will be my first time ever visiting

(01:19:45):
the beautiful state of Georgia.

Speaker 2 (01:19:46):
So I'm pretty damn you've never been to Atlanta.

Speaker 1 (01:19:49):
I've never been to Atlanta. I'm like, so excited to go.
I'm very, very very excited.

Speaker 2 (01:19:55):
You got to hit up Magic City Monday sixty nine, dudes. Yeah,
I'm very very excited for that good chicken wings. According
to lou Will.

Speaker 1 (01:20:10):
Yes, Lemon Pepper Lue. Oh well, that's the other thing.
Now that Atlanta Hawks have advanced to the next round,
maybe I'll even get to see a little NBA playoff
game while I'm out there.

Speaker 4 (01:20:21):
You gotta go, hey, if that's the case, dude, I'm
in Charleston. I'll come down to Atlanta and catch COVID
with you at a game.

Speaker 5 (01:20:29):
Damn it.

Speaker 1 (01:20:29):
Okay, that's what i'd like to hear, Babe.

Speaker 2 (01:20:32):
I love it.

Speaker 5 (01:20:34):
Put a couple of weeks on the end of your productions,
all right.

Speaker 2 (01:20:37):
I'm fully I'm fully backed up, man. They're not. They're
not catching me.

Speaker 7 (01:20:40):
What's it like just running around in your thirties guys,
It's crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:20:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:20:46):
I We'll say, I'm starting to feel a little flagrant
about like I've still rocked the mask and all that,
but I I, I don't know, I'm just like feeling good.
I'm feeling good about going space.

Speaker 2 (01:20:55):
There's uh, there's there's no masks in in South Carolina anymore.
You go everywhere without masks right on.

Speaker 1 (01:21:03):
Well, that rocks.

Speaker 4 (01:21:04):
Yeah, it's it's pretty. It's pretty great. And I mean
they're assuming you're vaccinated and I am. But yeah, it's
nice to feel like civilization is opening back up and
you're gonna have things that you can go do again,
and restaurants to go to and just dirty, dirty, dirty,
dirty dirty dirty, dirty dirty bars to go to.

Speaker 5 (01:21:26):
Herty dirty ye dirty dirty dirty. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:21:29):
Yeah, I like going into filthy places and you're like,
this is where COVID was born.

Speaker 2 (01:21:34):
But it's not catching me. I'm scared of you, motherfuck dude.

Speaker 5 (01:21:37):
Honestly, that sounds so nice going into a dirty bar
and just fucking I mean the only time I went
when I was sober was playing the guitar and it
would be so sick to just go play the fucking
guitar a loud as shit in a dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty,
dirty dirty bar.

Speaker 1 (01:21:52):
I love a good dive, dude.

Speaker 5 (01:21:54):
I have the indoor board from Work of Hogs with
all the nar puns right here.

Speaker 1 (01:21:58):
Oh hell yeah, oh the indo board pivotable pivotal.

Speaker 5 (01:22:03):
Do you guys remember this? So everybody at home an
indo board.

Speaker 3 (01:22:09):
They're also known as bongo boards.

Speaker 7 (01:22:10):
It's like a piece of wood you stand on in
balance over like a wooden cylinder, and you kind of
rock back and forth and work on your balance.

Speaker 5 (01:22:19):
And we had one of the writers from Acoholics and
we wrote a bunch of stuff on it. Kyle, that's right.
And here we have some of our nar puns that
are written on there, just making it says nargarita.

Speaker 4 (01:22:28):
Oh hey, I'm thirsty and it's today's Cinco de Mayo,
so as recording this episode, it is Synco de Mayo,
and I would love a nargarita.

Speaker 5 (01:22:37):
Would you also like a Gnard boiled egg? Pretty less?

Speaker 1 (01:22:41):
So? But yeah, okay, hey wait hold on, yes, punts.

Speaker 5 (01:22:46):
Listen, these are saying nar nar binks, Yes, punts, Leon
Nard Dog catchwaves.

Speaker 3 (01:22:53):
That's great.

Speaker 5 (01:22:54):
Yeah, uh pizza sus Nope.

Speaker 14 (01:23:04):
No, nar Kelly Yeah, okay, okay, did I say camp
Gnardley Wakes.

Speaker 3 (01:23:13):
That's the best one, right, that's really good.

Speaker 1 (01:23:15):
That works on levels.

Speaker 2 (01:23:17):
Thank you for thank you for saving that one for last.

Speaker 3 (01:23:20):
Yes, thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:23:22):
I did a little part in Entourage and it was
a scene with Jeremy Piven, and I remember I was like,
I was hell and nervous, and I was kind of
like kind of like biffing my lines a little bit,
and I remember Piven being like, bro, you don't sew
it up. You're getting axed, dude. He shook me to
the bones.

Speaker 3 (01:23:40):
That's so cool. I love that he thinks that's his job.

Speaker 5 (01:23:43):
Wait what did he said? You were getting cut dude.

Speaker 1 (01:23:45):
He's like, come on, Blake, and I'm just like, oh, ship, dude,
Jeremy Pittman is about to kick my ass?

Speaker 5 (01:23:50):
What were you doing wrong?

Speaker 1 (01:23:51):
Because he just wants to get out of there.

Speaker 7 (01:23:53):
Sure, by the way, like that's gonna help, Like that's
gonna help you, Like, yeah, for sure, thank you. Now
I'm less nervous because you're yelling at me.

Speaker 5 (01:24:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:24:00):
Because the script, like you know, they really stick to
the script. It was one of those like sets where
you have to hit every word, don't add nothing.

Speaker 3 (01:24:09):
Well, dude, the jokes are solid gold on Entourage, you.

Speaker 5 (01:24:12):
Know, I mean, just like, yeah, grammatical masterpieces.

Speaker 2 (01:24:16):
I know you're kind of, you know, making fun of it,
and you're saying that sarcastically.

Speaker 1 (01:24:20):
But wait, now you're crying.

Speaker 3 (01:24:22):
I guess part of what I.

Speaker 5 (01:24:24):
Just said was a joke.

Speaker 4 (01:24:25):
But uh, I mean it was one a generational comedy
that a lot of people stand by, and it's it's
kind of how I live my life, so.

Speaker 7 (01:24:33):
Right, I don't disagree. A lot of people stand by it.

Speaker 2 (01:24:35):
Yeah, why don't you cry about I'm not crying.

Speaker 1 (01:24:37):
It's cool because guys, I'm actually part of the Entourage universe.

Speaker 5 (01:24:41):
So you really are.

Speaker 2 (01:24:42):
I'm jealous.

Speaker 3 (01:24:43):
Did you come back in the movie?

Speaker 5 (01:24:44):
How did I not see you in the show? Were
you in the show? You did make it?

Speaker 2 (01:24:50):
Yeah? You were someone's roommate.

Speaker 5 (01:24:51):
Is that correct? Blake, did you make it onto the show?

Speaker 2 (01:24:54):
Yes, you like knock on a window and yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:24:57):
So Jeremy Piven, I believe is dating my roommate. She's
kind of a younger girl.

Speaker 4 (01:25:02):
And and this is in the later later seasons, I
have no idea it is. And later seasons, he's going
through a Jeremy's uh Ari Gold is going through a breakup,
a separation with uh Missussuri because they never gave her name,
and really.

Speaker 5 (01:25:19):
Yeah, it's part of the jokes. That's why it's so funny.
Grammatical masters.

Speaker 4 (01:25:22):
He's going through a separation and then starts to date
a younger woman that is Blake's roommate.

Speaker 1 (01:25:27):
Okay, yes, so I I'm that girl's roommate. I knock
on the window and I'm like, hey, bro, do you
got any condoms? Because I guess I'm like blazing somebody.
Did you do?

Speaker 4 (01:25:39):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (01:25:39):
Well, maybe that was part of it. You like used
a voice that isn't your voice?

Speaker 1 (01:25:42):
Right?

Speaker 2 (01:25:42):
You were like, hey, brouh, was that a Blake?

Speaker 5 (01:25:45):
Come on, man?

Speaker 2 (01:25:47):
Do you like try did you like try to do
too much of a thing? And it kind of threw you.

Speaker 5 (01:25:51):
He came in with his accent. Yeah, he was like, hey, bro,
oh right, might you go need Jimmy Capps? Was that it?

Speaker 1 (01:25:58):
I I don't. I think it was more just me
going like, uh the right, and they're like you have
to you have to hunch down and get in the
window and I kept being like my eyes above the
window and they're like, dude, you're just not in frame.
This isn't working.

Speaker 5 (01:26:12):
Just couldn't hit your mark.

Speaker 2 (01:26:14):
It's not much of the delivery, but you didn't know
how to put your head in the window.

Speaker 1 (01:26:18):
It's so hard, dude. I didn't want to, you know,
intrude on mister Pivin's space.

Speaker 12 (01:26:22):
Man.

Speaker 4 (01:26:22):
And this wasn't Uh, this wasn't season one of work Garlics.
This is like we were like season three or four.
I think That's what I'm wondering too, Adam.

Speaker 2 (01:26:29):
So I think you had done enough episode. This is
enough as a stunt cast a little bit.

Speaker 4 (01:26:35):
This isn't You've done enough episodes of television that you
should know how to hit marks.

Speaker 5 (01:26:39):
And you know the craft.

Speaker 7 (01:26:40):
I was not with Jeremy Piven though manyeah exactly Golden
Globe or Emmy winning, I don't know what it was,
but that dude want something.

Speaker 5 (01:26:47):
He just was biff and take. So you weren't hitting
your mark. Your head wasn't where it needed to be.

Speaker 1 (01:26:52):
It was a whole nother animal, dude. It was a
whole nother animal. It wasn't like a new one working.

Speaker 5 (01:26:57):
Can you look at Jeremy and the eyes. Please, Lake,
can you look at him like make this like you're
connecting with him? Is that okay? Can you bring your
head down a little bit?

Speaker 3 (01:27:06):
And he looks at you and just said, and he's
just shaking his head, don't do it? Didn't you look
at me?

Speaker 1 (01:27:10):
Yeah, that's the thing.

Speaker 7 (01:27:12):
You would you rather find a possum at the foot
of your bed, like under your covers, or look down
in the toilet and find a possum like in the
water toilet.

Speaker 5 (01:27:23):
Wait? While, are you taking a ship though, or are
you Yeah, where you're sitting in pain? We get by
the way, we should get into that you're sitting though. Yeah,
I gotta start. I gotta start.

Speaker 2 (01:27:32):
What do you mean you got to start?

Speaker 5 (01:27:33):
I'm getting I gotta start sitting and peeing. I'm getting
fucking railed for leaving the seat up. I'm so goddamn tired,
I'm not like paying attention, and I'm getting fucking.

Speaker 2 (01:27:41):
Rail Well, for sure, you piss all over the seat.

Speaker 5 (01:27:44):
You're a monster. I'm messy too. Yeah, yeah, I fucking
spray all over. I hit the corners of the bathroom.

Speaker 2 (01:27:51):
Yeah, you're a real hoser.

Speaker 5 (01:27:52):
But do you leave the seat down when you piss though, No, no,
I do not. I just don't put it back.

Speaker 7 (01:27:57):
I had a college roommate who did that, and we
had to fucking shake him down, beat his head, jump him.

Speaker 2 (01:28:03):
We had to have like a talk where we had
to lay this guy down and fuck him. We had
to fuck this guy.

Speaker 1 (01:28:08):
I was like, open wide, yo, homie, can we talk
to you real quick?

Speaker 3 (01:28:13):
He would just piss on the seat.

Speaker 5 (01:28:15):
We thought it was water for a long time, and
then we realized.

Speaker 3 (01:28:18):
We're like, wait, did you just not put the seat up?

Speaker 5 (01:28:20):
And he was like, oh no, and we were like
you you've been doing this for months. Sorry. I get
it though, sometimes, but you're like, you know, when you
don't put the seat I have done that a lot
in the past, and it's like, I trust my aim.
I'm a great aim.

Speaker 2 (01:28:33):
I'll be fine, but you're not.

Speaker 3 (01:28:35):
I'm sorry, So you do you are that guy?

Speaker 5 (01:28:37):
No, I'm not that guy anymore. I'm just leaving it
up now. I'm pulling it up and I'm leaving it up.

Speaker 2 (01:28:42):
So you have been that guy.

Speaker 4 (01:28:44):
When we used to share a bathroom, I remember multiple
times and there'd be pissed on the seat back in
the day for sure.

Speaker 5 (01:28:49):
Yeah, well, you know, I mean I was the only
one cleaning the bathroom, so I didn't think it really mattered.
Oh seven years, only one right here. Adam is like,
fair enough, fair enough, yeah, true, never clean the bathroom once.

Speaker 1 (01:29:03):
Well, Adam's not going to clean your piss.

Speaker 5 (01:29:05):
I I cleaned his. I cleaned his.

Speaker 2 (01:29:08):
I don't do that.

Speaker 4 (01:29:09):
I sit I have and I have forever. I sit
down and piss. When I'm at home, I sit down
and piss. Ninety five percent. I'm into it now right,
maybe more, Maybe it might be ninety nine.

Speaker 2 (01:29:19):
Percent of the time. I'm always sitting down a pisson.
People have been like, oh, is that in that like
a mask? Absolutely not.

Speaker 4 (01:29:26):
It's way more comfortable. I piss for a really long time.
I drink a lot of fluids.

Speaker 8 (01:29:31):
That is true.

Speaker 2 (01:29:32):
I have to sit down.

Speaker 3 (01:29:33):
You take short poops and long piece.

Speaker 2 (01:29:36):
I do take short poops and really long piece.

Speaker 5 (01:29:39):
I think the disconnect I have is like exposing my
ass well peeing, Like I think that that's a problem
and keep going please yeah, yeah, what else? I just
find it to be not like utilitarian. It's like, no,
I have the hard ware to just well basically unzip stand.

Speaker 2 (01:29:57):
Up no, and we all know what that means.

Speaker 5 (01:30:00):
Need to explain it? Yeah, well you know, like it's like,
why do I have to expose my ass and pull
my pants all the way down to my ankles when
all I really need to do is drop them a
couple of inches.

Speaker 3 (01:30:08):
Because you're gonna get on your phone for.

Speaker 2 (01:30:10):
A minute, because you're just gonna look at your fake
the load off.

Speaker 5 (01:30:12):
Annie. I understand it's smarter. I get it's a little
bit more intelligent, but this is the gripe I might
have with it. All right.

Speaker 4 (01:30:19):
See, I don't do it when I'm out in public,
well not all the time, but usually public toilets are
a little more disgusting.

Speaker 2 (01:30:26):
So you're like, I don't want to chill in there.

Speaker 3 (01:30:27):
Yeah, I would never, Oh huh.

Speaker 4 (01:30:29):
I'd rather just take a piss in the journal and
then go shoot birds. I'd rather just assassinate car.

Speaker 1 (01:30:35):
Journal is the.

Speaker 5 (01:30:36):
Journals gnarly too, because that shit splashes back like no other, like.

Speaker 2 (01:30:40):
You hit the little seashell man, No matter what you're.

Speaker 5 (01:30:42):
Getting a little missed, you're getting you're getting a missed.
You don't piss straight ahead and like wrap it around
the corner like in the corner. The best thing to
do is back up about six feet if I wear
shorts or sands social distance.

Speaker 1 (01:30:55):
It just completely opens my eyes yes to how much
I'm pissing all over my feet?

Speaker 5 (01:31:00):
Right? Every time I.

Speaker 1 (01:31:02):
Urinal, so much pis gets on my legs, right, it's inevitable.

Speaker 3 (01:31:07):
Here's a good question.

Speaker 7 (01:31:08):
And ladies at home who really don't spend time in
a men's bathroom, you might be shocked by this, but guys,
there's always at least some urine underneath a urinal.

Speaker 3 (01:31:19):
Every time, every time without a bead the film and there's.

Speaker 4 (01:31:24):
There's always so many pubes in the urinal as well, Like,
how how are your how are you shedding this much?

Speaker 2 (01:31:30):
It gets cleaned every day.

Speaker 7 (01:31:31):
Here's my question, what is the acceptable amount like square
inch wise of urine on the floor that you're like, God,
that's gross. That's too much like the size of a.

Speaker 1 (01:31:42):
Hand when I slip, if I.

Speaker 5 (01:31:47):
If I slip, going, that's bad.

Speaker 1 (01:31:49):
I'm a little worried when you're.

Speaker 2 (01:31:51):
Barefoot and there's any amount.

Speaker 7 (01:31:53):
Yeah, if it's bigger than a hand, I can't. I'm like,
that's fucking nasty.

Speaker 5 (01:31:58):
But if it's like five drops, like five quarters on
the floor.

Speaker 7 (01:32:01):
I'm like, yep, five quarters, like the size of five
quarters like drops.

Speaker 5 (01:32:05):
Okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 2 (01:32:06):
Well it is.

Speaker 4 (01:32:07):
It is amazing, Like how much I feel like we're
so much more open now as a society.

Speaker 1 (01:32:12):
And like, yes, Russians have ships that can go side
to side.

Speaker 5 (01:32:17):
Right, and we have combustion engines. Yeah, it's definitely aliens.

Speaker 4 (01:32:21):
But like back in the day, there used to be
used to go to baseball games or basketball games or whatever,
and there would just be a trough where you just
all had to piss into a tub together and there'd
be like a grown man right across from you.

Speaker 2 (01:32:34):
And this is when we were children.

Speaker 4 (01:32:36):
So you're just at dick height and there's just dicks
on each side of you pissing. There's a man directly
in front.

Speaker 5 (01:32:42):
Of you, lots of pe lots of smell.

Speaker 2 (01:32:45):
His dick is right in front of you.

Speaker 3 (01:32:46):
There's one resting on your shoulder.

Speaker 5 (01:32:48):
I got a big fucking boner right now. Hopefully there
was no boners. Hopefully there was no boners.

Speaker 4 (01:32:54):
You have to arc your piss up into this tub
or your dad has to hold you with your legs
angling as your as you pull out your little Dick
and just try to get it into What a nightmare situation.

Speaker 1 (01:33:07):
But also what a cool homie move to hold.

Speaker 3 (01:33:10):
Your boy up, dude.

Speaker 1 (01:33:11):
That's my move, boy dad, hashtag boy dad.

Speaker 3 (01:33:15):
I'm so good at just.

Speaker 7 (01:33:16):
Like holding that dude up and I like shake him,
like when he's done, I give a whole body shake
to just get it out.

Speaker 1 (01:33:23):
Yeah, if the bachelor party's really good, we're gonna be
doing that to each other in the Ozarks for sure.

Speaker 2 (01:33:30):
I hope that I get drunk enough that you guys
hold me up and shake me too. Together. The pisss
my Dick, a writer on The Gemstones.

Speaker 4 (01:33:41):
He was telling me that he last year had to
stay at a hotel and he was living in this
hotel throughout the whole production, and he got Inoculus and
he was like, well, I got a crank down. So
he's like watching the porno on there, which I don't
even know how you find the porn. I can't even
find Supernatural and it's the app that they gave us

(01:34:04):
the the Oculus, so I should be able to easily
find it.

Speaker 2 (01:34:07):
Anyways, he was on the porno.

Speaker 4 (01:34:10):
He's convinced that the maid came in and cleaned up
as he was sitting there butt naked on the couch
jerking off at his hotel room and gave him ice.

Speaker 2 (01:34:19):
He was like, dude, I swar to god, there was.

Speaker 5 (01:34:21):
No ice there. So he was goggles and the headphones on.

Speaker 2 (01:34:25):
He had the full on goggles and the headphones on,
just jerking off on a couch and the maid comes
in like the turned down service and just left the
ice there for him. But I'm like, that's the funniest
thing in the world.

Speaker 5 (01:34:37):
I guess they've seen it all by now, right.

Speaker 4 (01:34:39):
Yeah, oh man, to be a maid, a maid at
a hotel, I mean you must just see the weirdest,
wildest shit because people don't give a fuck out.

Speaker 5 (01:34:48):
This dude had a messy ass room, threw his goggles on,
took out his chud.

Speaker 1 (01:34:54):
Didn't put the do not disturb thing on your door.

Speaker 4 (01:34:57):
Yeah, I obviously didn't, right, he know he was doing
Yeah he was. He was hoping to get a little show, got.

Speaker 5 (01:35:03):
Lost, and then he fucking took the goggles off to
clean up. And everything's clean, dude.

Speaker 1 (01:35:08):
But that's the thing.

Speaker 5 (01:35:10):
That's the thing. His whole fucking room is clean, with
new made around.

Speaker 2 (01:35:14):
He only told me about the the ice.

Speaker 4 (01:35:17):
But I'm like, what I mean, I need to have
a follow up question and ask him if the bed
was made, if there's a little mint on his pillow.

Speaker 5 (01:35:25):
Or did she just like show up with ice and
then just drop that hell quickly and then be out
of there, you know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (01:35:31):
My guess is it's probably that you don't want to
You don't want to stick around and watch.

Speaker 5 (01:35:36):
That tap him on the shoulder and be like stirring
your ice.

Speaker 4 (01:35:40):
As we said, you know, men don't look it doesn't
look natural when when you see men jerking off, it
looks right.

Speaker 7 (01:35:47):
It looks when you see a man with his legs
behind his head, incredibly forced.

Speaker 2 (01:35:52):
This is forty weird wild stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:35:55):
This is forty. Indeed, gotta say limber, this is forty.

Speaker 4 (01:35:59):
I was talking today about shit that we allegedly did
in the past that like now, for sure we wouldn't
do one. We would probably get in all kinds of
trouble for Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:36:08):
Let's talk about it. And these are things that maybe
we didn't even do.

Speaker 2 (01:36:10):
And maybe allegedly that's why we're saying it. Allegedly we did.
Allegedly we didn't, But maybe.

Speaker 3 (01:36:16):
We're just podcasts. We're just being funny.

Speaker 2 (01:36:18):
Yeah, Yeah, we're telling funnies for the gigs, for the
gigs and the chucks.

Speaker 5 (01:36:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:36:21):
But remember when we were allegedly at Comic Con and
we were playing beer pong with Kent Alterman, the old
president of Comedy Central, and then we we like whipped
our dicks.

Speaker 2 (01:36:33):
It was like the last like.

Speaker 7 (01:36:35):
Ball, and we were losing in beer pong to I
thought it was Kent, the drunk History guy. Yeah, it
was Kent and drunk History, Yeah, Derek, I.

Speaker 5 (01:36:44):
Thought it was John Benjamin, wasn't it. I think it was.

Speaker 7 (01:36:48):
I think it was John Benjamin and drunk History dude.

Speaker 5 (01:36:52):
And Kent was watching.

Speaker 4 (01:36:53):
Kent was watching, Yeah, and Kent was watching, and he's
the president of Comedy Central, essentially our big boss at
Comedy Central, and we were playing with him and we
just all like whipped our digs out and were like
flapping him around.

Speaker 5 (01:37:05):
So we had only one cup left. We had one
cup left.

Speaker 7 (01:37:08):
We were losing, and it was like we got to
do anything, so they fucking can't beat us. You pulled
your nuts out. I got on my knees and started
licking at them, allegedly allegedly, Yeah, dude, what and that's
what happened?

Speaker 5 (01:37:25):
What happened?

Speaker 2 (01:37:25):
You weren't there a dog?

Speaker 5 (01:37:27):
I was over by the cool dude.

Speaker 1 (01:37:28):
I think that's a pretty common practice in beer pong,
like the distraction technique.

Speaker 5 (01:37:33):
Oh yeah it is.

Speaker 3 (01:37:34):
We still lost. I think he still made the shot.

Speaker 1 (01:37:36):
So you licked your friend's testicles and lost.

Speaker 5 (01:37:39):
I didn't actually lick it. I just was like flicking
my tongue at it. How close were it?

Speaker 1 (01:37:43):
Was?

Speaker 2 (01:37:43):
Like close?

Speaker 5 (01:37:43):
He was like, oh close? Word?

Speaker 7 (01:37:45):
If anything, I was wafted. I was wafting the sense
of it into.

Speaker 2 (01:37:48):
My He was wafting the smell into his own nose.

Speaker 1 (01:37:51):
I want to say, that's almost hotter bro, that's ak.

Speaker 5 (01:37:56):
Yeah, I know what I'm doing.

Speaker 2 (01:37:58):
Yeah, don't kick shame dirves his nosecarre extra close.

Speaker 1 (01:38:02):
Yeah, just kind of hot breathing on your friend's nut.

Speaker 3 (01:38:05):
I'm always like, you guys wanna play beer pong?

Speaker 2 (01:38:09):
Hey, you wouldn't play beer pong?

Speaker 1 (01:38:11):
First ball out? You're like, distract you.

Speaker 5 (01:38:14):
Yeah, let's just oh, let's distract them, let's distract them.

Speaker 2 (01:38:20):
Let's distract it. We don't have to yet.

Speaker 3 (01:38:24):
Oh, why are you making your dick mouth talk?

Speaker 5 (01:38:27):
Oh, let's distract him. You should pull your nuts out.
Why are you pulling your ball sack over your dick?
We just started.

Speaker 2 (01:38:33):
That used to be such a move. Is pulling just
your nut sack out?

Speaker 1 (01:38:37):
That was like then we called that bubble gum. You
sat in gum, just kind of the skin.

Speaker 3 (01:38:44):
I think I told this story at summer camp. One
of our counselors.

Speaker 7 (01:38:48):
Allegedly he like rolled us all up and he had
he had his balls out of his boxer short hole,
and he was like, yo, wake up, guys, hey and
check out these new.

Speaker 5 (01:38:57):
Underwear I got.

Speaker 3 (01:38:57):
And we would all turn and look and his nuts
are just be hilarious.

Speaker 5 (01:39:03):
Oh god, it was so funny.

Speaker 2 (01:39:05):
And he was standing over top of you just just
jerking off.

Speaker 5 (01:39:09):
I mean, at that point, I'm like, I might as
well suck it.

Speaker 8 (01:39:13):
He taught and arrow.

Speaker 1 (01:39:15):
Okay, god, hey.

Speaker 8 (01:39:22):
There we go.

Speaker 1 (01:39:23):
Man, What a cool.

Speaker 7 (01:39:24):
Relationship between like an eleven year old and probably like
a seventeen and eighteen year old just like, shit's going crazy?

Speaker 3 (01:39:32):
How are camp counters in charge?

Speaker 2 (01:39:33):
And these kids are just laughing so hard they're crying.

Speaker 6 (01:39:37):
I miss that.

Speaker 2 (01:39:37):
I miss being a kid when you would just laugh
so hard that you would you're you were crying of yes, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:39:45):
I don't laugh anymore. Everything got too real.

Speaker 5 (01:39:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:39:49):
Can we take a minute just to appreciate Jeremy Piven.

Speaker 7 (01:39:51):
Yeah, Hell hey, Evanston Township High School graduate. He's an
alumni of the high school I went to.

Speaker 4 (01:39:58):
He was one of the first celebrities that I saw
in Hollywood. I was walking Running Canyon with me and
I think Christine and our dog Rocky that we went
off the television show Who Gets the Dog?

Speaker 2 (01:40:11):
Check it out, It's on the FIGHTO network.

Speaker 5 (01:40:13):
And then.

Speaker 4 (01:40:18):
So I'm walking up Running Canyon and I'm walking up
this steepway and he's running down the steepway holding shirtless,
holding a mountain bike over his head with like.

Speaker 2 (01:40:31):
Six percent body pat or something.

Speaker 5 (01:40:32):
He stole it.

Speaker 2 (01:40:33):
I for sure he robbed somewhere.

Speaker 8 (01:40:36):
I think it was just like that.

Speaker 4 (01:40:38):
That was peak Entourage. Aourage was still on. It was
probably like season three or four at that time, and
he was like a fucking star at that point, and
I think he was just like, yo, I gotta get
out there. Let Hollywood know that I can carry mountain
bikes above my head and run running canyon.

Speaker 7 (01:40:58):
Another thing about the pe next is that when you're
a kid, you're like trying to like fucking just off
like it's his pee because you've got stage.

Speaker 5 (01:41:04):
Right.

Speaker 7 (01:41:04):
These men have had like four twenty four ounce beers,
so they're just ripping piss out of their hogs, right, give.

Speaker 11 (01:41:13):
Me hell yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:41:14):
And admittedly so much easier to piss after you've had
a few beers.

Speaker 5 (01:41:17):
Oh yeah, you can'tnot even if it's.

Speaker 4 (01:41:19):
Not just the amount of fluid that's in you. It's
just you don't care your dicks out. You're pisseding in
front of other men. It's fine, you're all doing it.

Speaker 7 (01:41:28):
It's like the proton blaster from Ghostbusters, too, right, you
can barely control it.

Speaker 2 (01:41:32):
Right, it's science. It's almost exactly like the proton blaster.

Speaker 5 (01:41:36):
Don't cross the streams. Don't don't cross the streams.

Speaker 2 (01:41:40):
Across the Did I tell you guys about this? Last week?
I went to this woman, she's a healer.

Speaker 4 (01:41:49):
Yeah, they reckon people on set recommended me because I
I know, I have this neck thing where I like
tweaked my neck.

Speaker 2 (01:41:58):
It's been years now, and you guys probably always see
me crack it and shit and and you do that. Yeah,
it's kind of fucked up.

Speaker 4 (01:42:05):
And so I like really tweaked it the other week
and I was like, oh, my neck, my neck, and
I'm on set and they're like you should go to
the heeler. And I'm like, uh okay, and I'm telling
Chloe about it, and I'm like, I'm gonna go to
the heeler.

Speaker 2 (01:42:17):
And Chloe's like, you're gonna get jerked off. You're for
sure getting jerked off, right nice.

Speaker 5 (01:42:21):
He's like, I'm coming with as long as she got
six hours.

Speaker 2 (01:42:23):
And then I go to the heeler and I come
back and she was like, how was the jerk off session?
And I'm like her, foe, arms are still burned.

Speaker 5 (01:42:31):
No, she's a six hour heelerut them.

Speaker 1 (01:42:34):
It's a lot of healing.

Speaker 5 (01:42:35):
I'm bringing my ocula.

Speaker 4 (01:42:36):
What she was doing is it like I carry all
my you know, I'm a maniac, and so I work
out all the time and I never stretch, and I
never do yoga or like do anything, and never even
get massages, and so like I'm just this ball of stress.

Speaker 2 (01:42:50):
And she was like, my neck is fucked up.

Speaker 4 (01:42:52):
So she's like rubbing my legs and shit and like
and like relaxing muscles like in my arm pits and
down my back and it's releasing the muscles.

Speaker 2 (01:43:03):
All the way up.

Speaker 4 (01:43:03):
And by the end of it, I'm just like Muldible
clay Man and I'm a like wet no feeling way better.

Speaker 1 (01:43:09):
Yeah, did it like release some shit in you? And
he like kind of like got naturally high. I heard
like when you start to detach all those muscles from
stuff and like relax, you can actually catch like sort
of a buzz.

Speaker 2 (01:43:22):
Well, you feel mad good.

Speaker 4 (01:43:24):
I wouldn't say it was high. The weed I smoked
before going in there is what got me high.

Speaker 1 (01:43:30):
Okay, that's my boy, And.

Speaker 4 (01:43:33):
Every family is different. That's just how my family deals
with stuff. Is like you have to make light out
of it. And like my dad has called himself cancer Dad. Yeah,
and and so we're all calling him cancer Dad. And
he wants to be a cancer fluencer or canfluencer.

Speaker 5 (01:43:49):
Uh is that real?

Speaker 4 (01:43:50):
I don't know if it's real or not, but he
wants to be that. When we were joking that he
should be that. So and get like he's like on
a pass boat and he's sponsored by bass pro shops
because like, fishing is a thing you can do when
you're dealing with cancer treatment because it doesn't exert a
lot of energy.

Speaker 1 (01:44:07):
I love the idea of Dennis doing like a little
low budget commercial where he like catches cancer out of
the lake. He's like, I'll be throwing this back.

Speaker 2 (01:44:16):
Hey, this is a catchen release.

Speaker 5 (01:44:19):
Yes, that awesome.

Speaker 4 (01:44:22):
I also worked at a pumpkin patch slash haunted house,
and me and Austin worked there, my good friend Austin Anderson,
and I wasn't fired. I just was not asked back
because we both played two monsters and I was in
a or Austin I don't know. We kept trading off
and on, but one of us were in a costume
that was like eight feet tall, and so you're this

(01:44:45):
giant monster that comes out from behind this trick wall.

Speaker 5 (01:44:49):
You on still so your neck is long, No.

Speaker 4 (01:44:51):
It's like the head is kind of resting on your
shoulders and it goes up from there.

Speaker 2 (01:44:56):
And we kept acting like we were fucking each other,
Like we'd walk in the room.

Speaker 4 (01:45:02):
We'd walk in the room and I'd act like I'm
fucking him or he'd act like he's fucking me, and uh.

Speaker 2 (01:45:07):
And so it wasn't really scary as much as just like, oh,
those dude guys are just out of each other.

Speaker 5 (01:45:12):
What's going on? Would you call that a gay experiment?

Speaker 2 (01:45:17):
That might be an experiment.

Speaker 3 (01:45:18):
Yeah, I don't know, but we had a fan ask
if we ever had a get experiment.

Speaker 7 (01:45:22):
Maybe maybe maybe that's what I get bodywork like once
a month.

Speaker 3 (01:45:26):
But it's crue Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:45:28):
It hurts so goddamn like there's no path, Like I
might pass out from the pain.

Speaker 7 (01:45:32):
This dude who works me is like this ex football player.
Now he's like a powerlifter, and I'm always like, we'll
post the picture, but it's brutal, Like I got. You
can't exercise it workout the next day because he's like
separated the muscles from like each other that he like

(01:45:53):
tender rizes the meat.

Speaker 1 (01:45:54):
That sounded boat right, he's got you walking, funny.

Speaker 7 (01:45:57):
I feel you'll have to let's just say I walked
when I leave that.

Speaker 2 (01:46:03):
Guy Fox honders for sure.

Speaker 1 (01:46:05):
But to say that, Adam, you called this woman a healer,
there's are is the guy we're talking about? Is it
a healer or is this a.

Speaker 3 (01:46:12):
Guy who does bodywork on athletes like myself?

Speaker 4 (01:46:16):
Yeah, I think it's uh, it's it's a it's like
a mix of a chiropractice a chiropractitioner and a chiropractor
and a massage therapist and it's like the mix of
those two disciplines, and.

Speaker 2 (01:46:31):
Uh, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (01:46:32):
At first, I was like, am I gonna like rub
crystals all over me and like smother myself in sage
and shit, which I'm I don't I would try because
who cares? But also I'm like not trying to spend
like two hundred fifty bucks on on rubbing stage on myself.
So I was actually really pleased that this one, and
I went twice. I actually went this morning, and I

(01:46:53):
went once a week ago, and she was like, it'll
probably last for like five or six days and then
you know, stretch every day and then you're gonna probably
want to come back. And then I waited about a
little over a week, and then sure enough, about a
week and some change in it started to hurt again.

Speaker 1 (01:47:10):
Your body just seized, yea, all of a.

Speaker 2 (01:47:12):
Sudden, My my body sees back up. But it was cool, man.
So now I'm like, oh, should I be into some
fucking wellness dog bro?

Speaker 5 (01:47:19):
Should saying hey, when you get back to l A,
I'll sending to my guy. It's brutal.

Speaker 2 (01:47:24):
Yeah, I'm trying to get into some wellness.

Speaker 4 (01:47:26):
I'm trying to do some whim hoff, you know, sitting
some fucking ice, sitting an ice barrel.

Speaker 1 (01:47:31):
I love that as we're all talking about this, we
keep like kind of like adjusting, Like just talking about
it makes my body hurt. This is forty.

Speaker 3 (01:47:42):
By the way, Twinkle Twinkle and ABC are the same song.

Speaker 5 (01:47:44):
Yes, they are same me?

Speaker 1 (01:47:46):
Okay, which is it is important?

Speaker 5 (01:47:48):
That's a mind blower when you first realize that is
that for?

Speaker 8 (01:47:51):
Is that for real?

Speaker 12 (01:47:51):
Bam?

Speaker 5 (01:47:52):
Yeah?

Speaker 7 (01:47:52):
Ready you sing ABC's at the same time. I'll sing
Twinkle Twinkle.

Speaker 2 (01:47:56):
Okay, good because I don't know the words.

Speaker 8 (01:47:58):
Ready A, B, C, D E, F G H, I,
J K, L, M N O, P Q R S
t U V.

Speaker 2 (01:48:11):
Say nine, No, I.

Speaker 5 (01:48:17):
Don't give it to you time? Won't you sing with
that real a frog?

Speaker 3 (01:48:22):
Was that Kyle saying that, but X can't give it
to you the X gonna give it?

Speaker 1 (01:48:26):
No? That was me.

Speaker 5 (01:48:27):
No, I was genuinely singing the ending of it, XNA
give it to you.

Speaker 1 (01:48:31):
That was really cool.

Speaker 3 (01:48:32):
Oh my god, I thought that was a sound thing
or I don't.

Speaker 5 (01:48:34):
Know what I thought that was?

Speaker 1 (01:48:35):
You got scared.

Speaker 2 (01:48:36):
So you think I sound cool?

Speaker 5 (01:48:38):
Yeah? Yeah, thanks dude, you sound like a sound board.

Speaker 2 (01:48:40):
Appreciate that.

Speaker 5 (01:48:41):
That was the first joke I remember laughing so hard
that I would fucking cry my eyes out as a
little kid learning the A B c's, we go through
all the A B c's, and at the end, you'd say, like, uh,
next time, won't you sing with me? You know that part.
But what we would do in my car, we go
through the whole thing is all about the setup, and
then we say, next time, won't you sing with a frog?

(01:49:04):
Eat up.

Speaker 8 (01:49:06):
Point?

Speaker 5 (01:49:07):
And you could change it every time. Every time you
change it, you'd be like, you'd be like, next time,
won't you sing with a monkey? It's like, oh, it's
just a great wow, that is pretty good, huh special.
I loved it. Hey, frog was the funniest by far
for me. That's why I remember that. But it was
like it was just that confusion attack at the end

(01:49:29):
of a giant setup that fucking cracked me up.

Speaker 4 (01:49:32):
And I wonder if we can look at the analytics
and see how many people tuned out during Kyle's story, right.

Speaker 5 (01:49:37):
Yeah, let's check it out, check the RSS fee.

Speaker 4 (01:49:39):
Yeah, just if we look at that if we have iHeartRadio,
look at the analytics and how many people just decided
to stop listening to the podcast fifty minutes in, because
I'd like to do an early apology.

Speaker 5 (01:49:48):
I'm just knee deeper and fucking toddlers. That is, knee
deep in a baby. I'm basically handling about. I got
three fifty pound dogs, a baby in a two and
a half year old, and I'm changing diapers all day.
All right, I'm living in a night It's you know,
I think I'm fucking dealing with like six pounds of

(01:50:08):
shit on a daily basis. That's a lot like six.

Speaker 3 (01:50:11):
Pounds, that is true.

Speaker 4 (01:50:12):
So now you're talking to a bunch of grown ass
men and you're like, I'm only used to talking about
like ABC's and how fun it is to end it
with frog.

Speaker 2 (01:50:21):
And how funny that is.

Speaker 4 (01:50:22):
And then you talk to like your three buddies who
are damned near forty years old. And I tell that
same story, thinking it's going to get some chucks and gigs. Yeah,
and it doesn't.

Speaker 5 (01:50:32):
And I understand that or at least a smile or something,
you know, something less critical from three of my best friends.

Speaker 2 (01:50:39):
Hey, I love you. I love you, Bud.

Speaker 4 (01:50:41):
You know that wasn't the best story, but I still
love you, and I tell stories that suck too sometimes.

Speaker 5 (01:50:47):
Do you want to know why I got fired from
the pumpkin farm?

Speaker 2 (01:50:50):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (01:50:50):
Sure, of course.

Speaker 2 (01:50:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:50:51):
Because I took two steak sandwiches every day and they
weren't having it. They would give out lunch and I
would always pocket too, and they were like, dude, you
gotta go.

Speaker 3 (01:51:02):
Did you say you were a growing boy?

Speaker 5 (01:51:04):
And they wouldn't let me do it? Man, they didn't
dig it, and I sucked their parking duty, like I
would not help people park I just stood out there.
So you stole and did a poor job.

Speaker 2 (01:51:12):
You were a thief and bad at the job.

Speaker 5 (01:51:14):
Yeah, yeah, exactly. All right, Hey you're back.

Speaker 7 (01:51:19):
Here's the real ship. I mean, I think you guys
know about my doopy trends, my arthritis.

Speaker 11 (01:51:24):
Yeah yeah, that's bad.

Speaker 5 (01:51:27):
Really really what's wait, what's the wording in them? What's
the word? It's doopy dooopy trends. Look at this? See that?

Speaker 1 (01:51:34):
Oh my god, J has a what what is it
like a vein in the middle of your hand?

Speaker 5 (01:51:39):
Yo?

Speaker 2 (01:51:39):
Dog? You an alien?

Speaker 7 (01:51:40):
No, it's like, uh, the tendon starts like scrunching up.
Oh my god, it's like a Scandinavian arthritis. So basically, uh,
I guess I'm a Viking. Yeah, yeah, your hand just
slowly closes. My dad had it, but he got it
in his like sixties. I got it when I was
like thirty five.

Speaker 1 (01:51:58):
Was that like an evolutionary trait? Because they were like
always just grabbing oars or how to axe.

Speaker 5 (01:52:04):
In their hand rolling a long boat.

Speaker 4 (01:52:06):
Their hands were never oh by, I thought, too, what
is uh like, what's gonna happen like through the years,
So your palm is all fucked up and now it's
gonna like they.

Speaker 7 (01:52:15):
Tell me that eventually my hand will like close like
this and then I have to like a surgery or
some kind of operation to like open it up.

Speaker 1 (01:52:25):
Okay, I don't know, or are you're gonna be like
remember Bob Dole how he had like always had to
grab a pen all the time?

Speaker 13 (01:52:31):
Right?

Speaker 1 (01:52:31):
Did he have dookie trends.

Speaker 5 (01:52:33):
Or did he like, yeah, I might run for president.

Speaker 1 (01:52:35):
Durors running for president.

Speaker 5 (01:52:37):
I think that was a war thing for Bob Dole.

Speaker 1 (01:52:39):
No war thing, Yeah, I think so too.

Speaker 5 (01:52:42):
Yeah? Or did he have a stroke? I lost some feeling.

Speaker 7 (01:52:44):
I feel like this is another example of us being
like it was a war thing for sure, moving on
definitely was a war thing, and then every DM being like,
you're a fucking idiot. Yeah, maybe we'll take it back early.
We don't know shit about Bob Dole except for Norm
McDonald on SNL.

Speaker 1 (01:52:59):
Bob Dole was a fro.

Speaker 4 (01:53:00):
Was this girl that's saying best friends and we all
got it wrong and then everyone just came after it.

Speaker 2 (01:53:04):
It was like sweetea or something?

Speaker 1 (01:53:06):
Yeah sweet yeah, so sweety yeah, my best friend. I
let us down the path that it was Meghan the Stallion,
But that was a funny little run or two about
Megan the comedian. Good job guys.

Speaker 3 (01:53:17):
Yeah, yes, I watched The Departy the other day.

Speaker 7 (01:53:20):
In the accents insane the way they say copsps.

Speaker 2 (01:53:27):
But it has to roll off the tongue.

Speaker 4 (01:53:28):
If they can tell that you're like gearing up to
say co ops, they're like, fuck this guy.

Speaker 1 (01:53:35):
Right, Well, it's just a weird character choice where every
everything you're saying, you're thinking, you're.

Speaker 2 (01:53:42):
Like co ops. Yeah, you're just moving your face way
too much, Like all right, it seems like you're really
prepared to say this word, maybe throw it away a
little bit, co Op.

Speaker 5 (01:53:53):
Are you saying, co Op?

Speaker 1 (01:53:54):
Yeah, just kind of you know, throw it away.

Speaker 3 (01:53:55):
You're just saying, how do they say, co Op?

Speaker 2 (01:53:58):
You're just saying cops. You're just saying just.

Speaker 5 (01:54:00):
Throw what you're saying, co Op like, we're not we're
not at an ri I.

Speaker 1 (01:54:04):
Your only line, you're you guys are like making drugs
out of your house, the cops busting. Your big line
is cops.

Speaker 5 (01:54:10):
You just got kind of shout at the door. Throw
that's hell hard, that's his only line.

Speaker 2 (01:54:15):
Call up, okay, Kyle, call action.

Speaker 5 (01:54:17):
Okay, ready, action, co Ops. You have to wait for
the throw the door to open.

Speaker 1 (01:54:24):
This.

Speaker 5 (01:54:26):
You have to wait for the door to open, all right.
You can't just yell at you have to wait.

Speaker 2 (01:54:31):
Hey guys, okay, all right, okay hit me Kyle.

Speaker 5 (01:54:36):
Okay, okay, just remember he's gonna open the.

Speaker 2 (01:54:38):
Door, and so am I there a noise when the
door opens.

Speaker 5 (01:54:41):
Or yeah, yeah, well we're rehearsing and make the noise
all right? Ready, am I the sound guy? Oh oh
oh yeah, there is roll sound? Got it rolling? All right?

Speaker 2 (01:54:53):
Ready, Action, it's co ops.

Speaker 5 (01:55:02):
This was an episode.

Speaker 2 (01:55:09):
See I think that was almost too good.

Speaker 4 (01:55:12):
Yeah, so I was trying to do a bad impression
but actually nailed it and probably got the golden popcorn
from that one.

Speaker 5 (01:55:20):
Co Ops, Yeah, Cops in there.

Speaker 2 (01:55:23):
Yeah, it's co Ops. I took an artistic license and
added an it's.

Speaker 1 (01:55:28):
That felt natural.

Speaker 8 (01:55:29):
I liked it.

Speaker 3 (01:55:30):
I think you fucked up.

Speaker 5 (01:55:31):
I think the person that actually it's Cops, we don't
want it.

Speaker 2 (01:55:34):
Actually it's just Cops.

Speaker 1 (01:55:35):
It's not it you're saying co Ops, that's not what.

Speaker 5 (01:55:39):
Can we just make him American? Is it cool if
an American lives in Boston? Is that okay?

Speaker 1 (01:55:44):
An American in Boston?

Speaker 5 (01:55:48):
I was gonna say, I can't believe we're still on
here for Kyle gives us that gift. I'm such a
fucking dumb ass.

Speaker 2 (01:55:56):
Yeah, but I'm glad. I'm glad we did because can
an American being Austin.

Speaker 5 (01:56:00):
Bro six pounds of ship every day?

Speaker 3 (01:56:02):
And then after that you couldn't see what.

Speaker 5 (01:56:08):
Did I do?

Speaker 8 (01:56:10):
What happened?

Speaker 1 (01:56:11):
Now?

Speaker 2 (01:56:11):
Oh boy, Bro.

Speaker 5 (01:56:14):
I don't think you understand how tired I am, how tired.

Speaker 1 (01:56:18):
We get it?

Speaker 2 (01:56:19):
All right?

Speaker 5 (01:56:19):
Well, a little empathy from.

Speaker 2 (01:56:21):
My I'm tired too many.

Speaker 3 (01:56:24):
I don't give the.

Speaker 7 (01:56:26):
Maybe get rid of one of your thousand dogs.

Speaker 3 (01:56:28):
Do you guys still have all the lizards?

Speaker 5 (01:56:30):
Yes, but I don't deal with them.

Speaker 1 (01:56:32):
The lizards.

Speaker 5 (01:56:33):
I don't deal with them. Feed the dogs to the snakes.
I'm the I do the dogs. I do the three
dogs and the two babies.

Speaker 2 (01:56:41):
I ran over a snake with my bicycle yesterday. The
news over over here.

Speaker 3 (01:56:45):
We're talking bikes.

Speaker 2 (01:56:46):
Yeah, we're back on some bike talk.

Speaker 5 (01:56:54):
Adam. Come on, your dad is correct. He knows you,
he knows you're fucking with me. He knows your fucking
the world.

Speaker 2 (01:57:00):
I'm not fucking with you, dude.

Speaker 4 (01:57:01):
I think you're a really talented actor. You really make
me laugh, You make me question my own abilities as
an actor. And uh, and I think you're very talented.
I fucking love you, dude.

Speaker 5 (01:57:12):
Thanks.

Speaker 7 (01:57:12):
By the way, Kyle, it's not like you know, like
we all have like our favorite friend that might not
necessarily be our best friend, right, exactly right, So you're
his favorite actor.

Speaker 5 (01:57:22):
You might not be the best actor, true, all right,
so he just likes my moves. You could even be
the worst.

Speaker 2 (01:57:27):
Nope, I think you're the best, Kyle.

Speaker 5 (01:57:29):
That's what it is.

Speaker 2 (01:57:30):
I'm doubling, tripling down.

Speaker 3 (01:57:31):
On it, dude, he's your favorite best actor.

Speaker 2 (01:57:33):
I see all your moves, and I don't I wouldn't
even know how to approach your acting.

Speaker 4 (01:57:38):
You'd have to d program other acting. I look at
other actors, I'm like, oh, I can steal that little move.
I can add that to my tool chest.

Speaker 2 (01:57:45):
Yours.

Speaker 4 (01:57:45):
I'm like, I don't even know. That wouldn't fit in
my tool chest. My tool chest is not equipped to
handle those moves. So congratulations to you, hey man.

Speaker 5 (01:57:53):
Thank you. I'll take that.

Speaker 3 (01:57:54):
I will say Kyle would always be the most prepared.

Speaker 5 (01:57:57):
Well, I didn't have to work like every fuck day
like you guys. I'd just come in and fucking you know,
so I'd have time to like look at it. You
guys were like, how many, how many hundreds of lines
do I need to say today?

Speaker 4 (01:58:09):
I actually found myself because I'm kind of dealing with
that now on Gemstones, that I'm not in it every day,
and I find it harder than when you're there every
day and you just find the rhythm and you know
the characters so well, and it's just like putting on
like a comfortable jacket or whatever, like you really and
I was able to do on workaholics. Just look at

(01:58:29):
the sides, memorize it within a few minutes, and then
just go and do it. And on this I'm having
a much harder time because I'm not doing it every day,
and it's not the muscle that I'm working every day.

Speaker 1 (01:58:40):
I've got to fire the engine up.

Speaker 5 (01:58:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:58:42):
So I'd like to apologize to David Gorda Green, Jody Hill,
and Dana McBride for casting me in this role.

Speaker 2 (01:58:52):
Because I'm having a hard time with it. But no,
I'm having a blast. It's gonna be great.

Speaker 5 (01:58:57):
If you ever want to run lines, bro, I'm here.
You know we can get on zoom all run.

Speaker 2 (01:59:00):
Dude with the legend himself. Okang, I'd be too embarrassed.

Speaker 7 (01:59:04):
If you want to feel super insecure by yourself, Yeah,
run lines, yeah with the best actor.

Speaker 5 (01:59:08):
You remember back in the day when we used to
do that ship you'd have to go do some auditions
and hell yeah in your room.

Speaker 2 (01:59:14):
Yeah yeah, dude, I don't care. I love that shit, man.
Oh yeah, right, be down to clown right on, great friend.

Speaker 7 (01:59:22):
I have a good getting fired story from Lacoste on
Rodeo Drive guys.

Speaker 4 (01:59:27):
Ooh money Millionaire, The face of lacost They can't fire you.

Speaker 5 (01:59:31):
You got fired. It was a two party.

Speaker 2 (01:59:34):
You had too many collars.

Speaker 3 (01:59:36):
They were like to oh dude, colors.

Speaker 7 (01:59:41):
They were so good to me. They were there were
good people there, and the fucking discounts were next level.
Two times a year, not that I was there long
enough for this, but two times a year you got
ten items for free and then you got seventy percent off.

Speaker 3 (01:59:56):
So that Christmas I was like, whoa a god hell And.

Speaker 4 (02:00:00):
Then everyone got lacosse polos and they're like, I don't
wear okay, thank you honors.

Speaker 5 (02:00:05):
No, no, I varied it.

Speaker 7 (02:00:07):
A mama got a scarf. Eric got a polo because
he's popping collars. Yeah, only got a nice sweater, I believe,
And uh what did Phil get?

Speaker 5 (02:00:16):
I can't remember.

Speaker 7 (02:00:17):
I think Phil might have gotten also gotten a sweater.
But so I showed up about forty five minutes late
one morning because my homie John at this time was
friends with Tommy Lee from Motley Crue.

Speaker 1 (02:00:33):
YEP, and god, he was like, oh my god, oh
my god.

Speaker 7 (02:00:37):
Come on out to Tommy Lee's house in Malibu. I'm
kicking it with him. He's got his like chef. Here's
making dinner. We're gonna get wild, and I'm like, for sure.
So I drive out in my green mini van that
you guys remember, Oh yeah, yeah. He's got like a
gate to the crib and I'm like, this is next level, ship, right,
this is like you're going to a star's mansion in

(02:01:01):
Malibu in minivan and you work at Lacoste and I
pull in, we kick it. We're drinking all night, we're
having fun. We're making like music on his computer, and Ship,
I think I still love this.

Speaker 2 (02:01:17):
Situation, right for sure.

Speaker 3 (02:01:17):
Right now, we're gonna cut to the track that I
recorded with him.

Speaker 5 (02:01:20):
You have we have it?

Speaker 11 (02:01:22):
Yeah, yeah, look look at those wol bones.

Speaker 5 (02:02:35):
We're back. How about that song?

Speaker 1 (02:02:37):
Oh my god, this is huge.

Speaker 7 (02:02:40):
But so homies pass out. It's getting late. It's like
four in the morning, and he I think, if you,
if you saw the Cribs episode, he had a bar
with like a Starbucks in his house, right, and he
had this, He had a Jaeger micer like Jaegermeister dispenser
in his crib, and he like lined up a bunch

(02:03:00):
of shots.

Speaker 5 (02:03:00):
And it's four in the morning. I have to be
at work in Beverly Hills at ten am.

Speaker 1 (02:03:06):
Hey, I'm still gonna send it.

Speaker 7 (02:03:08):
He was like, let's do this, and I go, oh, man,
I don't know if I can do that. I gotta
be at work in like six hours.

Speaker 2 (02:03:16):
And he's like pussy and You're like, no, I'm cool.

Speaker 5 (02:03:19):
I wish he said pussy, because then I would have
been like, all right, fuck it.

Speaker 3 (02:03:23):
He just goes all right, I'm gonna go to bed,
and he.

Speaker 7 (02:03:27):
About faces, leaves the shots there and passes that, goes
like to his bedroom, leaving me to like sleep. I
don't know where. I think I slept on this big
ass couch, like in a couch room that he had.
I wake up super late, grab some Taco Bell Gordidas
on the way in, get there, wearing the same shit
I wore the day before.

Speaker 5 (02:03:49):
Yeah, They're like.

Speaker 3 (02:03:50):
What's going on?

Speaker 7 (02:03:51):
I go, I mean, how is it Tommy Lee's house,
as if that would be like oh cool? And they
were like you so what yeah, and then like funk
off and they were like this can't happen again.

Speaker 5 (02:04:04):
And then maybe.

Speaker 7 (02:04:06):
Maybe a month later I went home for like Christmas,
and they're like, we need you back the day after Christmas,
and I was like all right, no doubt. And then
my parents booked my flight back then because I had
no money and they didn't book it to get back
in time. And I just didn't have the balls to
be like, hey, you got to like take the charge
and flip it so I can get back to work.

(02:04:28):
And I just called and it was like, I'm stuck
in Chicago. I can't come. And then when I got back,
they were like, hey, you're done here, You're toast.

Speaker 5 (02:04:36):
We don't want you.

Speaker 7 (02:04:38):
That seems about right. Let me call Tommy Lee. Nope,
he's not returning calls.

Speaker 8 (02:04:43):
Damn.

Speaker 1 (02:04:44):
Yeah, so you didn't get Tommy's number, you didn't get
called back?

Speaker 5 (02:04:47):
What the hell? You know?

Speaker 3 (02:04:48):
I and that like soon after that I met you guys.

Speaker 2 (02:04:52):
Wow, and we became your Motley Crew.

Speaker 5 (02:04:59):
Yes, yeah, yeah, your Motley Crude.

Speaker 4 (02:05:07):
I remember coming back from Vegas with Kyle in his
Ford Focus, and I remember you had a one of
those little coffees, Remember those little Starbucks coffees that you
could buy at the communion a little frappuccino, until we
realized they are like four hundred calories of pop.

Speaker 2 (02:05:24):
And mean you used to just like pound.

Speaker 3 (02:05:26):
Like four five those little glass bottle one.

Speaker 5 (02:05:29):
Yeah, yeah, the glass.

Speaker 4 (02:05:30):
We used to just pound like three or four of
those to get hyped up. And then you start to
you get a little older, and like why can't I
lose weight? And then you're like, oh, I drink eight
hundred calories and Starbucks frappuccinos. But new Check goes to
shake it and he had already like popped the cap
and then goes to shake.

Speaker 2 (02:05:46):
It, and we both just got hosed. And this is
within the first twenty minutes of the drive. We're just
posed with this Starbucks wrap like.

Speaker 5 (02:05:56):
I just had forgot. I popped the top and it
then fucking shook it as hard as I could, getting
ready to pop the top, and it fucking painted the
whole interior of the car, like the windshield, the inside
of the windshield, the whole dash, both of us, everything.

Speaker 3 (02:06:11):
And you're driving too.

Speaker 4 (02:06:12):
We're driving and it's and it's Sunday at noon when
everyone checks out and drives back to LA and it
was hot as fuck.

Speaker 2 (02:06:21):
There was no a c in his car. We had
to have the windows rolled down.

Speaker 4 (02:06:24):
And then like two hours in, the milk started to
like curdle and start to stink, and we I was like,
I might vomit. I like, I might have to pull
over and vomb because it was like the milk started
to like curdle in the heat.

Speaker 3 (02:06:39):
It was probably smoking Siggies at that time.

Speaker 2 (02:06:41):
Too, and it was just like a oh yeah, you
were just smashing SIGs.

Speaker 5 (02:06:46):
Milk was a bad choice.

Speaker 8 (02:06:48):
Coffee.

Speaker 7 (02:06:50):
I don't know if I want to smell Kyle after
a weekend in Vegas coffee, Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:06:55):
I'll take the spoiled machiato.

Speaker 5 (02:06:57):
Okay. I remember like over dressfting my account so many
times on those trips where it would be like I'm
fucking like, I'm already overdrafted. That was, and it's like,
well I need more money. I gotta go overdrafted before
they stop me from overdrafted.

Speaker 2 (02:07:15):
That was like one of my favorite things to do.

Speaker 4 (02:07:17):
It would be like try to get us all hyped
up to go do something and it was just it
was just operation.

Speaker 2 (02:07:24):
When me, you and Blake lived together.

Speaker 4 (02:07:26):
It would be like I could probably get Blake on board,
but then it'd take you a little more coaxing in.

Speaker 3 (02:07:30):
It would fucking work me and yeah, but I would
like hold out for a day.

Speaker 2 (02:07:34):
It would just be like yeah, it'd be like a
full day of like, whoa Vegas baby? Oh my god,
how much fun is it?

Speaker 5 (02:07:41):
Blake? Seriously, bro, how much fun?

Speaker 2 (02:07:43):
Just talking allowed?

Speaker 3 (02:07:47):
This is like Ferris Bueller's day off.

Speaker 4 (02:07:52):
And then, by the way, and then we would just
go and we had no money, so we do the
Vegas the cheapest way you possibly can, which would be
like we sit there on the nickel slots waiting for
the woman to come around to give us free beer.

Speaker 5 (02:08:03):
Yes, that was such the move.

Speaker 4 (02:08:05):
And then it would just be us finding the cheapest
place to drink up and down the strip and then
just walking the strip. Now, in hindsight, I'm like, it
seems kind of miserable, but we had a great time
doing her young.

Speaker 1 (02:08:17):
We were dumb.

Speaker 5 (02:08:18):
Yeah, you don't know any better.

Speaker 1 (02:08:18):
Well, remember our whole like shtick was like the party police,
didn't you guys like go just trying to get people
to turn up to party.

Speaker 5 (02:08:28):
Yeah, we we just tried to get outam. Remember we
tried to get you in saying that you were the
newest member of SNL. Yes, the Andy Bovine. You haven't.
We were like, you didn't, you don't watch SNL. This
is the guy like that was my Yeah, and then
I'd be like, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (02:08:42):
I don't want to I don't want to pull that card.

Speaker 3 (02:08:45):
I don't fake fake catchphrases.

Speaker 1 (02:08:47):
I don't know my character.

Speaker 3 (02:08:49):
Is this your sandwich?

Speaker 2 (02:08:51):
I'm the is this your sandwich guy? I don't know
if you've seen that, but it's pretty popular.

Speaker 5 (02:08:58):
That is pretty funny. Go ahead, go then I'll do that.
And then we did the party police, where party police
was nothing except that we would like walk around in
the lobbies and like show people our wallets and say
where the party police? Are you having a good time?

Speaker 2 (02:09:12):
Yeah, you're not having enough fun? Party police?

Speaker 5 (02:09:15):
What was the whole thing? Why did we do that?
What was that?

Speaker 1 (02:09:18):
Because we're broke and we're drinking Ford and we're having
a great time.

Speaker 2 (02:09:21):
Man, we're broken.

Speaker 5 (02:09:22):
It's just fun.

Speaker 2 (02:09:23):
Nothing else to do. We weren't allowed into the clubs,
we weren't dressed nice enough. We probably spilled some Machia coffee.

Speaker 5 (02:09:30):
All over us, some milk products so laid out of
the hard.

Speaker 2 (02:09:36):
Rock we reaped. We were poor ash ship and we
were we were making our own fun yummy.

Speaker 7 (02:09:41):
I do love the idea of party police going up
to someone who just like bet the house lost everything,
like just lost everything, and you're like, hey, man, party police, I'll.

Speaker 1 (02:09:52):
Show you a party faces a deppna go fucking yeah,
I'm gonna do it.

Speaker 5 (02:09:57):
I'm gonna do it.

Speaker 1 (02:09:58):
No.

Speaker 2 (02:09:58):
No, I think I landed on where we're going to
do the Bachelor party guys.

Speaker 4 (02:10:10):
Bachelor in Paradise on TV space station Zoom space station,
space station. No, we're gonna go to, uh the Lake
of the Ozarks and uh yeah, I get a se
the bros arcs see where the family lives. I rented
us a dope house. I'll give you the dates and intel,
uh you know, off the pod. But it's it's gonna

(02:10:33):
be awesome and then that way big d can kick it,
kick it with us.

Speaker 2 (02:10:36):
Yeah, And it's it's a wild place, so we'll have
fun and we'll have access to boats and jet skis
and all that stuff. So it'll get it'll get wet
and wild.

Speaker 1 (02:10:44):
I'm so excited.

Speaker 2 (02:10:46):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (02:10:50):
I kind of wanted just like a true brodown and
I think I think this will be a good place
to do it.

Speaker 1 (02:10:55):
So that's my boy right there.

Speaker 11 (02:10:57):
Friendship.

Speaker 5 (02:10:58):
Yeah, man, good for you. Yeah, keep it said, yeah,
keep it true, Keep it true. I'm gonna keep it true,
keep it true.

Speaker 4 (02:11:07):
You know what we should do is bring podcast equiment.
Do it a live from the Bachelor party. Just sloppy
as hell. Kyle's the only one that can keep a
sentence together. The rest was just like, yeah, I tell
you why man?

Speaker 5 (02:11:20):
All right? I would like that. That would be very fun.

Speaker 7 (02:11:23):
I don't know how this would work, but if we
could have like the guys who are there, not us,
but like whoever it is to kind of come on
and tell a story or like say something about you
that they appreciate.

Speaker 2 (02:11:36):
Here we go, uh for the fun. That'd be a
fun Bachelor.

Speaker 1 (02:11:41):
Let's do the roast of Adam Divine on pod.

Speaker 5 (02:11:47):
Fun.

Speaker 1 (02:11:48):
It's the bro roast, the bros, the bros, the brost
of Adam Divine.

Speaker 2 (02:11:55):
That's good.

Speaker 5 (02:11:56):
Lake Bros. Arc.

Speaker 2 (02:11:57):
Yeah, bros Arc.

Speaker 4 (02:12:00):
Oh god, I'm making t shirts Lake brose arc Yes.

Speaker 11 (02:12:03):
Please.

Speaker 1 (02:12:04):
This is a money idea for sure.

Speaker 4 (02:12:07):
I have to we all have to wear sashes, and
I have to wear like a dumb crown science. You
know how like bachelorette parties. Well they'll always were like,
oh bachelorette party sashes.

Speaker 2 (02:12:18):
We're doing that.

Speaker 5 (02:12:19):
But for but we're not women, so Rocket Tiera.

Speaker 7 (02:12:23):
I think on my bachelor party, we ran into a
bachelorette party and Blake ended up wearing.

Speaker 5 (02:12:29):
A veil meat on that right, It sounds about right,
So I think I brought it.

Speaker 3 (02:12:35):
I think I have that picture. We're cutting to it now.

Speaker 4 (02:12:39):
I remember at your bachelor party where we there was
that machine in the bar that you blew into and
it told you how it was a breathalyizer at the bar, right,
and and we it was just operation who was the drunkest,
and we were like.

Speaker 5 (02:12:54):
No, I swear you are way drunker than me. This
does not make sense.

Speaker 2 (02:12:58):
This does not make sense.

Speaker 5 (02:12:59):
I shouldn't hard than you.

Speaker 2 (02:13:01):
He's fucking fallen down. You saw how he felt down earlier.

Speaker 3 (02:13:04):
Yeah, that was that was straight buffoonery.

Speaker 7 (02:13:07):
I just remember standing outside of our ho joe eating
some cookies at like three in the morning, and one
at a time, stragglers would just come back. Like my
brother just showed up out of the mist and like,
I don't even think he said anything to us, He
just like walks past into the hotel.

Speaker 3 (02:13:25):
We're like, all right, gets get some sleep, man.

Speaker 7 (02:13:27):
And then my homie Adrian just showed up and was like, hey,
I was looking for food and we're like everything's been closed.

Speaker 5 (02:13:34):
And I think toof got like beat up one night ship.

Speaker 7 (02:13:38):
Too got toof got me back. I remember, I could
not find my way back, and Too was like not
making he was was on one he cut the nipples
off of his shirt.

Speaker 5 (02:13:48):
Yes, And and I saw him. He wasn't speaking. He
was speaking in like he was going like right, right, right,
that's his thing. And I was like, what the fuck
do you know how to get back to the hotel,
And he did, but he couldn't speak.

Speaker 2 (02:14:01):
And your one friend was arrested.

Speaker 3 (02:14:03):
Oh yeah, I'm still gonna.

Speaker 7 (02:14:05):
Send Bernie Lomax and we'll keep his name. And Code
got arrested for like pissing on the back of a
bar or something like that. Yeah, and he got taken
to the drunk tank, and I think somehow he was
like tweeting saying like free Bernie. And then we all
got in the Hojo airport, yes shuttle and yeah shuttle and.

Speaker 5 (02:14:26):
Went to go pick him up with all those Yeah. Wait,
was it a Hojo or a trouble Tree. It was
a trouble tree. Trouble Tree.

Speaker 2 (02:14:33):
At like six am.

Speaker 4 (02:14:35):
Somehow we all like stayed up or something. Somehow we're
able to like pick him.

Speaker 5 (02:14:39):
Up somehow, and yeah, I don't know how.

Speaker 4 (02:14:42):
We all picked him up, like as soon as he
was released from jail and we're all chanting.

Speaker 2 (02:14:47):
I'm like, that's a good bachelor party. That's what I'm
trying to do.

Speaker 4 (02:14:51):
If if anyone wants to volunteer to be the one
to get arrested someone, you know, I would love to see.

Speaker 1 (02:14:57):
It, Okay, noted.

Speaker 3 (02:14:58):
Yeah, we'll see how plays out.

Speaker 2 (02:15:00):
Yeah, we'll see how it plays out.

Speaker 1 (02:15:01):
But feel like with twenty dudes, odds are high, they're good.

Speaker 5 (02:15:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:15:05):
I feel with the dude crew that we're rolling with
that somebody's gonna do something dumb and get arrested.

Speaker 2 (02:15:09):
So pretty excited about it.

Speaker 5 (02:15:11):
I'm down.

Speaker 4 (02:15:13):
And I would just like to thank you guys for,
you know, just doing this podcast with us every week,
and I feel like this is a great bonding moment
for the four of us.

Speaker 5 (02:15:24):
Every week.

Speaker 3 (02:15:25):
It's like a Bassard party every week.

Speaker 4 (02:15:27):
This is like a bachelor because, you know, a lot
of times we talk when we're but it's it's work stuff,
you know, and we're just doing work stuff, and this
is a fun way to also technically this is work stuff,
but it's also fun stuff, you know, and we're.

Speaker 1 (02:15:40):
Just bullshitting, so I actually consider it workaholics.

Speaker 2 (02:15:43):
But I don't know, Well, don't see that's where you can't.

Speaker 5 (02:15:46):
Again, don't say that that's a good take backs with
a huge ensemble cast.

Speaker 4 (02:15:52):
I would like to take a moment of appreciation for
just the four of us and uh and our friendship
and power and perseverance.

Speaker 5 (02:16:00):
Is this take too? This is great. I like that.
I would also like to take a moment for our
friendship and our power and our perseverance and just respectfully
appreciate us. This is important, so right, I just did
take three