Teddi's Back

Stitchless and hormonal, Teddi Mellencamp returns to tell us everything about the birth of Dove, nursing after a "boob job", intimacy after birth and in quarantine, the kids and so much more. Plus, staying calm during so much uncertainty. Guest host Tanya Rad joins Teddi as well as special guest Marriage and Family Therapist Jennie Marie Battistin.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
This is Teddy Teapot. Hi, guys, I am so happy
to be back here with y'all on Teddy Teapot. Give
me something a little, you know. With everything that's been
going on, it's just such a crazy time and I'm

(00:23):
so happy to be here with my friend Tanya. Thank
you for joining me. Who thanks for having me. I
was like, I can't imagine doing a podcast, my first
one back after baby, without like someone I know and
trust and care about, and so of course I thought
of you. Oh that makes me feel very happy. I

(00:44):
appreciate it. I am honored to be your h co
host today for your first podcast back post baby, and
for anybody that doesn't know, which of course everybody knows,
but in case they can't, where do people find you?
And can you get tell them a little bit about you?
Oh my god, you're so funny. My name is Tanya
rad and you can find me at Tanya Read on

(01:09):
the Morning Show on the Morning Show a Kiss FM
on air of the Rhine Seacrest And then I do
the podcast Scrubbing In with Bectillian Tan your Red, which
you have been a guest on and that episode was
one of my favorites by the way, that was what
you guys have to go listen to Tanya's It's It's
a tongue twister, but Tanya's tampon show so funny. Actually've

(01:31):
been on the podcast multiple times, so that that was
your latest, uh the latest time that you were on.
But that was so funny. That was one of my
favorite episodes. That was so much fun and still unbelievable
and like, I'm I'm really hoping that my daughters have
quite some time before I have to deal with any
pools and tampons and whatnot. I mean, it's it's aroun
the corner teddy and just saying, I mean, at this

(01:54):
right now that we've got four kids, life is just
complete craziness. Tell us all about out like the story,
like where where did we leave you? What was happening?
And where are you now? Okay, so we left off
and I was like a couple of weeks before having
the baby, but it ended up being about a week
and a half, like after my last I had the

(02:14):
baby February UM and essentially like Pisces baby Pisces. People
say that's good. I don't know much about Pisces. Pisces
are good, You're that's a good yeah, oh good, alright,
So dumps of pisces um. The morning I had her,
like it was, you know, business as usual. Um, I

(02:37):
like went and did a I like did a spin
at my house and then like Edwin and I went
to the hospital, Like everything was great. The delivery like
was my easiest delivery so far. And when people say
easy deliveries, it's super annoying, so I get it, but
like it really was, comparatively speaking, a super easy delivery,
and um, I was super like blessed that this all

(03:00):
happened before like coronavirus start. Everything started changing and like
Edwin was able to be in the room with me,
I was able to have visitors, like because all of
that shifted about after how long was your how long
was your what's the word I'm searching for, Like how
long was I in labor? Labor? Labor, labor labor? Um?

(03:21):
I was in labor. So I went in at like
ten am and I had her at like five. So
but at the same thing happens like my doctor will
like come and check me and he'll be like, oh, yeah,
you got some time, and then he'll leave the hospital
and then I am not kidding. Within like twenty minutes
of him leaving, I'm like in full blown labor, waiting
on him, like they have to bring somebody in to

(03:46):
be like, hey, um, I'm gonna be stepping in for
I'm not gonna say my doctor nay, but for blah
blah blah until you know you really have to go
because you're dilated at ten. And then I'm not kidding.
After after the after finally gets there, and I always
tease him because he's like super funny and casual and
he walks and he's like, EdWay, and you want to
help me to do the baby this time, And I'm like, no,

(04:08):
we are doing this now, Like what do you mean?
He puts Edwin and scrubs. He's like showing him the
doctor way to put it on. They're like doing the
hands scrubbing. I'm like, now is not the time, gentlemen.
Like I'm like like ready to go, right, wait, ten
centimeters dially? Do is I mean like you can fit
ten fingers in your vagina? Well? I didn't check. I

(04:31):
don't actually really I feel like nobody knows. It's just
like one of the things that they say I don't
actually know. But now that I'm thinking how many ten
fingers are and like measuring my fingers. It's frightening, but
like I know that they can feel the head in there,
and like all kinds you know, oh yeah, so um,

(04:54):
Edwin's like pretending he's gonna like be delivering dub and
I'm like panicked because I can just one is like
a squeamish guy anyway, and like the last time, like no,
so anyways, I start to have her. He's there like
in the position like he's going to fully deliver, and
then as soon as her head fully starts coming out,
he's like, no, doctor, no, doctor, I can't do it.

(05:16):
And they rotate places and so as of like having her,
I'm looking at him. I'm like, I told you I
was going to happen. I know, So you wasted all
those minutes. And the doctors like Teddy just focus and
push and I had forgotten how to push the right way.
You wouldn't know that. That was like I felt like, I,
you know, I've had two kids. I don't need to
do a refresher, but apparently I do. The doctor let

(05:39):
me get through the first set of pushing and then
he goes Um Teddy you're not supposed to blow the
air out like you forgot. And I'm like, you could
have reminded me, and he's like, right now you have
to push again, and then the second round to push
it like she was out and so then so she
she was born at five pm. And then did you
guys go home the next day? No, not at all.
So we we were there. I was having some I

(06:03):
might get a little emotional about. I was having some issues.
Right after I had her, everything was great. She latched
on perfectly, and like, you know, I was so excited
because crews had an issue latching because he was in
the nick you and so I was like so grateful,
and Tanya, latching is like latching onto my breath, latching

(06:24):
onto your nipple. I I'm aware I do not have children,
but I am aware of some of the leader. Okay,
well I don't know. You asked me ten centimeters is
tin fingers? I'm like, how much do I need to get?
So but I appreciate it. So, you know, the first day,
everything was going great and you know, she was latching

(06:45):
why we were in our own room. Everything was smooth
and she's happy, healthy and happy, and then um, day
two she started getting um like fussier, and that's when
we started realizing that like something was going um on
with like my colostrum, so um right after you know,

(07:07):
when your milk doesn't come in for a couple of days,
but your colostrums, like they call it like the liquid
gold for which is like for your baby. And um,
I was able to get a little bit of clustrum
out of my right out of one side, but nothing
out of the other. And so we didn't necessary we
didn't really know what was going on. So we had
like a lactation specialists come and all these doctors come

(07:30):
in and they start pumping like they used like an
industrial size pump and like so much. And what ended
up happening was that my um my boobs or my
breast essentially got so engorged and the milk came in
and everything was happening, but no milk could come out
because I had gotten my boobs done after Slate and Cruise,

(07:54):
and I had absolutely no idea that this would affect anything,
because I've had other friends that have gotten their boobs
done and they were totally able to breastfeed. But I got, wait,
do something, does something happen? And when you get your
boobs done, do they like close some sort of hole
that the milk comes out of. I guess because I
and you know, this is all things I learned after

(08:16):
the fact, and after like honestly over a week of
like doctor's appointments and lactation appointments and then actually going
to talk to my plastic surgeon like everything, because we
were still trying. I was still trying to breastfeed. I
was still latching her on and eventually coming out. The
milk wasn't coming out, But I guess because when I
got my boobs done, I had a nipple reconstruction, like

(08:40):
and they went in through that area. So what happened
is the milk came in, but no place for it
to come out because all of like the nerve endings
and everything had been switched and like you like making
me so sweaty. I mean, I it was painful. Was
it painful? Oh, I'll send you a picture. It was unbelievable.

(09:00):
I Mean there was a point in time where because
I was like, you know, there's something about like right
after you have a baby, like this craziness goes into
your head where're like I have to breastfeed, like, well,
at least for me, I can't speak. Anything I'm sharing
here you guys is like my personal experience and having kids.
So don't take this as you know, the mom shaming
can be like brutal over this kind of thing. So

(09:21):
I've already shamed myself enough. So I, um, you know,
we're pumping, We're doing everything we can, We're trying to latch.
She's getting upset, and you know, finally after a couple
of days, like Edwin's like what Teddy, Like, enough is enough?
Like the doctors told you that it's not gonna happen,
And it honestly was making me like so upset. I

(09:45):
had like friends coming to visit me in the hospital,
and I was like crying to them because I was like,
you know, I really wanted to breastfeed. I feel so
like there was a part of me that like felt
like so selfish that I ever even like got my
boobs done, you know, because like I I never I
never one. I never thought I was going to be
able to have another baby, but to like I had

(10:06):
no idea it was going to affect anything, and um,
so that was like so that was like a little
rough because you know, they're way worse problems, you know,
but but it's like sometimes it's like you you take it,
you like, why did I do that? Like yeah, it's
like like why not necessary? You know, Like I went

(10:28):
to all these places, and you know, it was finally
my husband that was like like came and gave me
a hug, and like, I mean, I'm not kidding. My
boobs were bigger than watermelons, hard as rocks, Like I
was starting to get infections and he was just like Teddy, please, honey,
just stop, like you know, and I said, but I
got those couple drops out of the one side, like

(10:49):
that should be you know, maybe it'll switch. And he's like, honey,
now they're going to have to start you on antibiotics.
You're getting you're making yourself sick um. And so then
I had to make the decision like you know, obviously
I'm going to do the feed my baby. So like
then I switched to formula, and you know, everything got

(11:09):
a lot more smooth. But it just, you know, I
feel like that's something I really didn't even take into
account when I got my boobs done, Like I you know,
one didn't think I was going to have another. But two,
I was like I had so many friends, so like
my thing is like I've just really had to work

(11:29):
on giving myself some grace and saying like obviously you
did everything you could do and you have a healthy,
happy baby and you know I you know, essentially like
I had to gear up to like tell my family
and tell Edwin's family, and nobody was upset and nobody,
you know, judged me or anything. Like everybody's like Teddy,

(11:50):
you know, like you didn't know anything. But it's like
there's already that shame that people like put on you
when you don't breastfeed your child, and then for you
to say it was because I got my boobs done,
it's just like double that and it sucks. It's like,
so that's so crappy that you even have to think
that way, you know what I mean. And it's like
you're already battling yourself internally and then to have to
think about that, it's just yeah, and it just it totally.

(12:13):
And it was just like that moment where it just
felt like it wouldn't end. Like I was like, you're
gonna figure this out. It's gonna figure it out. Tomorrow
is going to be the day. Tomorrow is gonna be
the day, and it just, you know, the fact that
it didn't happen, it just made me really sad. But
now I've kind of come to the point where like
maybe there's a reason for it, you know, in the
long run, like she um, we had to you know,

(12:36):
there was trying a bunch of different formulas to see
which work worked for her and made her stomach feel
the best, and like, you know, she's super happy and
healthy baby, and I just have to remember that that's
what's most important. That I'm able to feed my baby,
that she is healthy, that she is happy, and that's
what I really have to focus on, because I mean
it was hard in the hospital because there's also a

(12:57):
huge breastfeeding initiative, so like open you know, the lactation consultants,
they're double down and you know, on you and like
I just was in the hotel in the hospital room
in the middle of the night, just like with the pump,
just trying trying, trying to get anything out and not
even a drop and just watching not one bit come out,
and you're just like I know that that Edwin stepped

(13:19):
in was just like Teddy, like I love I've told
you this so many times. I love your relationship with
your husband so much because I think that you guys
really balance each other out. And he like, I love
you to death, but like you can be very were
very similar in the sense that like we'ld be very
determined or like you know what I mean, just hard
on ourselves and he's just always there to be like, babe,

(13:42):
like you did the best that you could. You know,
like I don't know, I just I love your relationship
so much, so I'm that made me really happy. When
you said that, thank you. I was like glad that
he like saw it too. It wasn't a moment like
where he was out of the room, but like when
they was like just relentless, relentless, and he was just like,
you know, it is what it is, honey. You have
a healthy, happy baby, Like that is amazing, Like we

(14:05):
had a miracle baby the last time you had to
do multiple rounds of IVF and this time you're thirty
eight years old and you've got pregnant naturally, Like this
is a miracle. Like we've got to focus on that.
And you know, ever ever since, like I've had days
where like you know, this is the first I've I've
spoken about it publicly at all because people can be

(14:26):
so brutal. Oh, people are the worst. Like I'm scared
to even show her with a bottle because people will
be like, why are you? What's wrong with you? And
then you have to feel like you have to justify
yourself to other people, and it's just, uh, so there's
that I can't honestly, I cannot even imagine. I feel
like the mom shaming is on like a whole another

(14:48):
level because I get it in like my dating life
and that's like so minimal compared to like the amount
of things that moms can get shamed for. It's crazy. Yeah,
So it's like I feel like almost better than I
was able to share it with you. But I also
like I'm already in a full sweat panicking of like
the aftermath of after this has been heard and I'm

(15:09):
gonna let the mom shaming hate mail come in, which
is like really something that like whether it's dating shame,
mom shame, whatever, the shaming is, like, I don't get it, Like,
have you ever in your life Tonya felt the need
to reach out to a stranger and say something making
to them No, and what I don't understand too. Is
it's like, like, obviously you wanted to breastfeed your daughter,

(15:31):
you know what I mean, Like your intention was there.
You were not physically able to do that because you
got your boobs done, and that's your choice, do you
know what I mean? Like that's something that you wanted
to do for yourself, and like that's you're allowed to
do that, you know what I mean to your life?
And had I known, I wouldn't have you know, like totally,

(15:53):
had they been like, hey, guess what, you might not
be able to do this, you probably would have been like, Okay,
hell no, I know you you're like a sense of person.
You're like you wouldn't I know for a fact that
they said that that was an option. You'd be like
I'm good. Yeah, like I'm good, even if there was
a small chap. Also, if I would have thought that
I could have got pregnant without you know, I v F,

(16:13):
I would have been like, well, you know, maybe it's
something to consider. But you know, all that being said,
you know, we're healthy, we're good. So I had an
easy delivery, I have a healthy baby. You know. Until
all of this, like social distancing and corona and everything started,
and we're like in a full another world. I know,
now you're your four children from the age twelve to

(16:38):
six six weeks. I have my stepdaughter Isabella, then their
slate and Crews, and then now Dove, and like the
other kids are old enough now where like they think
that she's like her their baby, so they want to
do everything, but like she's still a newborn, so it's
like there's that thin line that you want to be

(16:59):
able to like encourage the kids to help you. But
then like my son's like, let's let me take a
bath with her, and I'm like, he's like, can I
give her this to eat? It's my favorite yogurt. I'm like, no, wait,

(17:19):
does your stepdaughters she with you guys full time? She's
with us well, in the summer, it's two weeks on,
two weeks off, and then um during the school year,
she's normally with us every other weekend. But now there's
no school, so now we we've been having her more.
Got I got I got it? Yeah, so our kids
are in like week three, I think of homeschooling, so

(17:44):
it's like virtue and I can't do first grade math,
and I'm being really honest with it, Like I don't
know what this new math is that they teach, but
it is brutal. What is it you do? Like don't
carry numbers? It has like a special name. It's whole
new level of math. I've been watching YouTube's. I'm like
blocking it out for like finally I had to ask

(18:06):
the teacher. I'm like, can we do a zoom call
where like you explain it once and then sl takes
it from here because I can't do this. I wouldn't
be able to do it either. There's no chance. I don't.
I don't even there's no way. And then you have
to feel that that and then I have to be like, well,
I'm a good speller, just so you know, slight, just
so you know I am. I do have right, just
wait till you get to history class. I can really

(18:27):
help you out there, but math is going to be
a no for me. Yeah. So, I mean it's like
coming up with it. Like I'm sure you're the same
way with work and the radio show and everything. You
have to like kind of schedule your day. But at
some point, like my schedule goes like out the door
because there's four kids. I can't I literally cannot even imagine.

(18:50):
I can't. I really can't, because I'm like dealing with um.
For me, I think that the thing that's been so
hard is like I feed off of other people's energy,
and since I don't have that right now, it's like
a really weird thing. I think everybody has kind of
had this like a cloud of like anxiety and it's
just like this really weird feeling, you know. And so
I'm like trying to do everything I can to bring

(19:10):
like the normalcy or like the routine back in my life.
I'm actually going to start all in on Monday. I know.
I'm so happy to have you back. I've missed you.
I like, you know those whenever I'm like whenever you're texting,
I'm always like, yeah, I've got room, even though I've
been like fill it up, not for I know, you

(19:31):
always have like a waiting list of like weeks. You're like, Okay,
if anybody wants to start the program in ape or
what is I guess it is April, May or June,
and we have slots open. So and I texted you,
I was like, can I do it next week? I
was like really hoping for a friend card right there,
with that one because I think it's gonna help me
bring back the like the structure and the routine and
like just I don't know, kind of give me a

(19:51):
little bit, like reel me back into that headspace that
I think I like really thrive in. No, I mean,
and I was telling you, but I haven't. I guess
I haven't told our listeners yet. But I had to
actually go through the program myself, like a version, because
after I had Dov and then all of a sudden,
we're in our homes, I was like, go going to

(20:12):
snack every time I felt uneasy and like unnecessary snacking
or unnecessary alcohol like and I was I was realizing,
like I'm using this to cope, not because I'm actually hungry,
and I need to nip this in the butt, like
before it spirals back to where I was, you know,
five years ago. It's interesting that you bring this up

(20:35):
because the other day I posted something I did this
like hack for on Earth Ran Seacrest. It was like
how to um Like a girlfriend of mine told me
she's like she packs her breakfast and lunch the night before,
like she was if she was going to work, so
that she stops like just going randomly into the kitchen
and doing all that kind of stuff. And so I
posted that like tip, and I got like i'd say,
like the feedback was like this is such a great idea,

(20:57):
but there's always those few that trickle in, you know,
that are just like you should not be shaming people
if they want to eat a little extra, if you're
gonna gain weight during this quarantine, like whatever people need
to use to cope, blah blah. And I responded to
each and every one of them, and I actually got
a bunch of responses back, like apologizing, saying like, you
know what, you're absolutely right, And because I kept saying,

(21:17):
I was like, it's not about the weight. It's not
about the number. It's about what it's like mentally. It's
like giving me this structure for me what I eat
when I put my body is like it all just
kind of it's all one situation here. It's not about that.
And so it's like a very like um thoughtful response.
And then like I kept then they responded to like, oh,

(21:39):
you know what, like you're totally right, and I can
see that, and so I have no problem saying that
because it's like I do. It's I think whatever you
need to do right now, especially this time to cope.
It's like, do it whatever you need to do. But
for me, I need the structure. I need the like
I need it. Yeah, I mean I think it's to

(21:59):
eat each his own. And that's why why you know,
people will say the same thing to me, like, oh,
you shouldn't focus on that, And I'm like, here's my focus,
feeling my absolute best that I can in this time.
And if I'm not doing that, and if I'm not
setting myself up to feel my best, then I'm gonna
be at my worst. So whatever that means to you,

(22:20):
that's what's important. But for me, that means I have
to be moving my body. I have to do something
active every day. I have to have like some interaction
with others. So like even this even talking to you
right now, like it's filling up my tank. Um. I
have to know that I'm eating healthy foods to fuel
my body, because when I eat a bunch of junk food,
I'm lethargic, I'm unable to get stuff done, and it

(22:42):
just puts me in a different mind space. So those
are the tools I know I have to follow. Those
may not be yours, but most of the time, the
people that get angry and reach out, so you shouldn't
shame are the ones that want to make those changes
but aren't ready yet. Yeah, so it's like, you know,
you just kind of have to take it and know, like,
you know, we're all where we're we all are doing

(23:04):
the best we can, and that is okay. Some days,
some days were disasters and some days were great. Totally totally,
but I'm bad. I'm ready to be back. I'm happy
to be in daily communication with you again. I'm we're
excited about that. Oh yeah, Monday is a big day
for us. I'm like, well, you're always so positive to like,

(23:27):
I love you know, I love working with people that
start the day regardless of what's going on, you have
a kindness to you and I think that's so important.
You know, you have a kindness and a light, and
when you have those things, it's like such an amazing
experience to coach somebody that's like that, because you're I
don't even know how to put it into but I

(23:49):
don't know. I know, I know exactly what you mean
because I feel it on the other end, like I
feel it like as you're I don't know a student.
I don't know what I would call myself, um, but
I feel it on the other end because I think
it is tough. It's it's not an easy program for sure.
So it is like it's it's there are moments where
you're just like, but I feel like this love and

(24:10):
you feel like you're all in it together, and I
don't know this, this is weird. It's like a sense
of community that I'm like obviously lacking right now. So yeah,
it's not hard, I'm like, and you know, and and
it's it's comfort knowing that you're not I mean, we
are not in this alone, no matter what it is,
no matter if it's all it, no matter if it's
your happy hour with your girlfriends that you have or

(24:31):
whatever it is. I think so many of us feel like,
you know, when you start to feel alone and then
instead of taking action, you just become more and more alone,
Like you just distance yourself even more. Because it's so
hard sometimes to say, like, you know, it was probably
you probably thought about sending that text for a couple
of days before you actually sent it, you know, like

(24:53):
it's you know, it's hard to take action. So even
if it's journaling or whatever it may be to make
you feel better, like just putting your feelings out there
to remember this time. I mean, that's even what I've
been saying to my kids, Like because my kids, like
my daughter is doing an online play right now because
the place she normally does, they're they've canceled. How do

(25:13):
they do that? Do you do it for three hours
on Tuesdays? I'm like, God bless her that she can
sit there and do this or three hours over like
that's actually nice for you. Uh yeah, I'm like, oh
my goodness, But like they are missing out on so
many things that they are that they're used to. But
then I put all this pressure on myself like gosh,
you know, normally I have them so so many activities,

(25:36):
and we were doing so many things and we're having
so much fun. And then I actually asked my kids
the other day like how are you doing, and they
were like, my daughter's slate goes. Mom, I have actually
been loving this time. We've had so much together time.
And I was like, oh, I was like, I'm putting
all this pressure on myself and my kids are happy,

(26:00):
So like what am I doing? Why am I putting this? Like?
Why am I adding this extra pressure like our kids.
And also like at the end of the day too,
it's like if they get a little behind on their schoolwork,
like it's fine, we all ended up fine. I don't
remember what I did in first grade, like you know, yeah,
and I think I've also learned, like and this will
go the same, Like we also need to talk about

(26:21):
your boyfriend by the way, who uh yeah, well we'll
get into that in one second. But um, there's you know,
so much of this that's been going on right now,
like with the kids with everything. At first, like I
was bawled up and like not wanting to talk about
it with them, you know, like only giving them the
information that like I felt like was completely like kid proof.

(26:43):
And then I realized, like I can have a real
conversation with them, Like the other morning, like I was like, sorry,
if mom seems like a little bit um stressed, I
am a little stressed today. I have a lot of
press I need to do, you know, for the show
because it shows about to start airing on April fifteenth,
And with that, you know, and not being able to
like I'm doing them on my computer with you guys
all here. I've just been feeling stressed, So sorry if

(27:05):
you're feeling that way, and like Slate like it was
like thanks, Mom, andreis like no problem, Mom, you don't
even seem stress, you know, Like but just talking to them,
talking to the people in your life and telling them
what you need or how you're feeling, it's such a
game changer. Yeah, I was gonna ask you do you
tell them like do they know what's going on? Like,
I mean, obviously they know what's going on, but like

(27:26):
do you share the news with them or like how
much do you tell them about all this? I don't,
you know, I didn't feel like it was healthy for
me even to keep the news on and constantly listen
like I was spiraling. So I'm more of like tell
me what I need to know and I'll do I'm
you know, we really talked about like the importance of
like washing your hands and you know those types of things.

(27:46):
They their school has done a nice job of just
like explaining coronavirus to them, um and you know the
importance of like staying home and all of that. But
other than that, no, Like I think there was one
day where we had the news on quite a bit
and UM crews actually like said to my husband, like
can we change the channel? Dad, Like this is kind

(28:09):
of making me sad because it's just you know, it's yeah,
it's better just to have a for me to have
a candid conversation with them and just say like where
we are, but like also set up their expectations, like, guys,
there's a chance we won't be going back to school
this year, like just giving you a heads up, like
there is a chance. We don't know. You know, it's

(28:31):
day to day, but I just want you guys to
manage kind of your expectations. And it's you know, um
right there not going back to school. Of usually announced
it at our school, they're saying at the end of
you know, these four weeks, then you know, but everything
is different, and then you know you're on are I

(28:52):
assume are you on all these group texts where like
everybody's sending information and sometimes I'm like, don't tell me this.
I don't I think like that, like honestly that like really,
um so it was kind of nuts because I feel
so grateful that I do get to be able to
have a job that I can do from home, you know,
like I'm very grateful especially with all like I keep
reading about all these layoffs and furloughs, and you know,

(29:15):
people's businesses are are failing, and it's like it's really
really a sad, sad time, and so I'm like so
grateful for the fact that I can do this. Um,
but I think I got to this point where it
was like I would get up the second I woke up,
I'd come out here, I'd look on the screen. We
would do the radio show to like eleven or whatever.
Then we would have a meeting, and then I would
have conference calls all day, and then we'd have another
group meeting at like five, and before I know it,

(29:37):
like Son's going down. I hadn't left my house, I
hadn't seen anything but a screen, and I think it
was really starting to like, um, it's been like more
of a mental thing for me to kind of like
go through all this, you know, like I wasn't sure
how to Like I didn't step outside once the whole
day and and I love like being outside, and you know,

(29:57):
so it's kind of like trying to figure out. I
think the first like two weeks it was just trying
to figure out this new normal and like how to
adjust and kind of make sure that my mind wasn't
like because I never really I'm not a big I
never really suffered from anxiety before, and I'm I'm feeling
a lot of it now lately, and so it's just
kind of like navigating all that and just trying to
like be verbal about it and just kind of expressing
how I'm feeling and just know because it's like for me,

(30:19):
I'm such a positive person and I like, you know,
I try to look at the glass half fool all
the time, and sometimes I think it's important to just
be like, no, I'm having a crappy day and that's okay,
I'm gonna try I'm gonna be better tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, tomorrow.
And I've realized with everybody I've really talked to, that's
kind of how they're feeling because we don't have control

(30:39):
over anything right now. So it's like I feel like
I'm constantly like you don't want to let people down.
So it's like with work, I'm trying to do as
much work as possible because I know like everybody's just
trying to navigate. And then like with friends, I'm trying
to be there for my friends that are really struggling,
but it's also you know, and then like with your family,
you're trying to be it's like you're just trying to
manage manage it all, and it's like we're just just

(31:01):
just going through it together. I think, you know, like
one of the listener questions was like, how how am
I balancing being a mom and entrepreneur and a wife
and all those things, And you know, same with you
like with work and you have the radio show and
then you have the podcast, all of these different things.
And I think what I've learned is some days you're
gonna be super great at something and something else is

(31:25):
going to fall through the cracks a little bit and
one and then you know what, the next day it
will be something else like and that is okay. I
think honestly having perfect balance is impossible. Yeah, And also
think like learning how to navigate to because I was realizing, um,
like I was on the air, but I felt like sad,
like I didn't feel like myself, and so I, um,

(31:47):
I was like, what can I do to kind of
get my energy up, you know, so that I can
instead of being around people that will help me, you know,
keep my energy up. And so I'd like put a
jump rope behind like my little table here and just
was like in between songs, I would like do some
jump rope and like get myself up. You know, it's
so weird going. I know it's have to like kind

(32:09):
of keep you have. I almost have to like get
a little bit of like a rush so that I
can get get the momentum going, because if not, I'm like,
there's no urgency. All right now, There's gotta be urgency.
There's gotta be something because I to make you feel alive. Yeah,

(32:33):
so you met your boyfriend on hinge? I need more details? Uh, yes,
we met on hinge. UM, which is like the craziest
thing to me because I was always so poo poo
on dating apps. And but then so I don't know
if that's a swiping one or a clicking one or
what it is for someone telling they're they're all swiping

(32:53):
every single one of them you swipe on, so it
doesn't really narrow it down. Yeah yeah did you? Did
you swipe because of the picture or because of what
it said? Um? So this one I actually really like
because it does give you a little bit more insight.
Asked to like the person that they are. UM one

(33:13):
of his Like two of his questions were like literally,
so me, um, he's sleeping right now, so I feel
okay it's saying this. Um. They were so me that
I was like, oh my gosh, this is my dude.
He in one of them, he described like what he's
looking for and it was literally like me. And then
another one it was like something about food and he
was like dare like doesn't need dairy black, like all

(33:34):
like the things like my weird food things. And I
was like, oh, this this is my this is this
is a yes for me. But how you were always
again because I do. Actually we did something on the
podcast about dating apps once and um, you know there's
a lot of people are like they just don't work,
they just don't work, or some that are like I've

(33:55):
been on it forever. What do you think was like
made it just all click? I don't. It's so weird
because I've been on all the dating apps for years,
like they've always just been on and like in the background,
does that make sense? Like I was on Bumble and
Tinder and Raya and Coffee meets Bagel and Ja Swipe

(34:15):
and like Bagel I could not with that name. I
was on every single one of them. But I wasn't
like actively pursuing anybody that I met, Like I would
talk to them for maybe like a day, and then
I would just like stop engaging. Like I only had
met like physically one guy that I met Mett on

(34:35):
match dot com, and then one guy I met on Raya,
and then and then my now boyfriend. So I really
have only met three guys off of a dating app.
But I don't know because it's like I don't I
don't really know something about him. The conversation was really easy,
like when we were texting, and then I just kind
of like one of my girlfriends actually, Sierra, I was
just like, just meet this guy, like I have good vibes.

(34:56):
I could just have a good feeling about him. So
I went and met him for a drink, and I
was like expecting it to be not good, and so
I was like, Okay, I'll meet you at five thirty.
Was planning on leaving at seven thirty because I had
to go to New York the next day, and um,
we ended up like meeting and having like really easy conversation,
like really good chemistry. I was with him until like
ten o'clock that night. Whoa, that's late for you, super

(35:19):
late for me. And I was going to New York
the next day and I hadn't packed. Like that's how
like into it I was, So you gotta trust your gut,
be ready, be open, read and see if they like
dairy or not. But like his explanation of like what
he's looking for in a girl was like super meat.
It was something like I don't remember it exactly, but

(35:40):
like it was something I have it somewhere, I screenshot
at it. But it was something along the lines of like,
you know, good partner, blah blah blah. But then I
can also just like loves just like can be just
as comfortable with like jeans and no makeup, you know
what I mean, like which is perfect. Yeah. Oh that
makes me so happy. I know he's a good one.

(36:03):
He's a really good one. Um. Okay, So I have
a question. I actually read something that about Gwyneth Paltrow
and her husband and like intimacy with having all the
kids in the house. But I guess, aren't your kids
always in the house? Well for for yeah, I mean
my kids are always in the house, but like normally
they'd be at school during the day. Some of them,
but I haven't been clear Well, intimacy and sex, I

(36:25):
know are different, but I haven't even been cleared to
have sex yet. I'm not at six weeks. That's next Tuesday.
Oh you have it marked on kid, Well, I guess
by the time everybody's listening to this, it will be
that day. It'll be a surprise day. So no, like
Edwin is like, we need he he actually today because

(36:48):
I had to get like dressed up for I mean,
like I say dressed up. I have my hair half
up and like a little bit of mascar on. But
he was like, because I got ready for a president.
He's like, whoa. He's like, we had six weeks. I'm
like not yet. I'm like, but I'm sure we're fine.
Weren't five and a half weeks. He's like, nope, the
doctor said six weeks, so it's just let me know.
I'm like, oh my god, so cute. He's like, panics,

(37:14):
something bad will happen if we do before um. But yeah,
so sex, I'm not there yet, So I don't know
how to answer that question. But intimacy, our biggest thing
is like just to set aside some time for ourselves.
So like a couple of nights ago. It was like
a day that it was like a high anxiety day

(37:35):
for me. And I like said to Edwin in the morning, like,
you know, I'm having a little bit of a day.
Like I'm doing everything that I can. I've worked out,
you know, I've gotten my work done. There's nothing I'm
putting off, but I just still feel anxious. And he
was like, well, hey, why don't we like just pick
a movie that we can watch and that can be
the time when like the kids are allowed to have
their tablet and you know, like we'll come up with

(37:58):
an activity that they could you know whatever it was
as and so like we gave the kids the tablet.
We fed the kids dinner, and then we gave them
the tablet, and like we said and not dub du
just like sat on me. But we just like cuddled
on the couch watched an adult movie together. But like
in that one like hour and a half, I felt
more connected to Edwin than I had, like because we're

(38:18):
both like so busy. It's like a business exchange, like
I'll have that like he has done right now, and
then like we switched it off and blah blah blah,
you know, like we're just like constantly in motion, and
so it really was just like about taking that moment
to like actually like cuddle and touch and like be
near one another where it's not like we're just you know,

(38:38):
going through the motions of making sure we're like working
hard and taking care of our kids. Um, I am,
how like PG, do you keep it on your podcast?
I mean not, We've talked a lot about sex in general.
But what what's your question? Because my question is do
you give him blow jobs? Um? Well, I mean yes,

(39:04):
but um, the last week I have not because we've
been at our beach house and my son has been
in our room with us and the baby. So like
it just feels heard a lot of people so like
I should like he probably wouldn't be as ready to

(39:24):
go if this wasn't like, but the last like let's say,
ten days have been a little slow. But like, I
don't know, I feel weird when the kids are in
the room, even if they're sleeping. Yeah, that would be
a hard note for me. There are some parents that do,
and I'm not judging them, but there are some that

(39:45):
are and I but I can't not No, I don't
think I could. I don't think I could either. But
my son is like definitely going through the phase of like, well,
if baby Dove gets to be in the room, then
so do I. And I'm like, you want to be
up for every night multiple times and he's like, yep,
I don't care. So, like we've the sleep schedule was

(40:07):
going so well with I mean, sleeping on his own
was going so well. But now we've had a yeah,
we're gonna try, Yeah, we're gonna have We've pivoted, We're
gonna try again tonight. We've got our meditation apps. We're
going in full force. I'm sure yours is a little different, though,
you guys like crazy crazy over there. I know, it's

(40:29):
so funny. I was actually reading like my blow jobs
are going just fine, thank you. But I couldn't even
imagine having kids because I always get nervous that like
my neighbors can hear me, do you know what I mean?
Like that's like my fear is like no, because my
walls are super thin in my apartment complex, so I

(40:49):
can hear like they're yeah, I can hear their TV,
like when I go to the bathroom, Like I can
hear the TV from my neighbors. So I'm like, oh, like,
what can they hear? And here? Oh I've just had
so many visuals. Now I need to reel it back in,
reel it back in. Um. Yeah, so one of us,
one of us is getting a lot more action than

(41:10):
the other on this podcast. But you guys, check me
back next week. I'll be I'll be making a turn.
I'll be back to my two times a week. Guys.
Don't worry. Oh is that is that like your is
that your guys? This thing too? You do it two
times a week. We make sure to there. There's add
ons occasionally that you know, like days, anniversaries. No, I

(41:32):
actually I actually like to to do more, but I'm
saying we make sure it's at least two because life
like gets really crazy with with all these kids and
work and and so we're like we made a deal,
like we'll be like, all right, if it's like Thursday
and we haven't yet, I'm like one of us will
be like, hey, we're at zero and we're like, oh, shoot,
we gotta get one in. Let's go. So that's like

(41:55):
a little like understanding that you guys have in your marriage.
Then we have to have closet time. What's closet time?
Sometimes you have to just do it in the closet
because it is the only place close. I think that's

(42:17):
I think that's so cute though, because I think it,
I do think it's very important. And I also think
that like I can't imagine, especially now with four kids
running around, like I feel like that probably that time
gets like less and less. And so the fact that
you guys have this like understanding that like, Okay, it's
going to happen at least twice a week, Like that's
really cute. Yeah, And I mean it makes it kind

(42:37):
of fun because like, well, well before we were you know,
when we weren't working together all the time, like in
each other's space all the time. Like if he would
be at the office, he'd like send me a text,
he'd be like number one, you know, like question mark
or you know, like whatever. You know, Like that's so cute.
I think that's so sweet. I really do. I got

(43:01):
a lot of heat from it. I talked about it
publicly once and someone's like, you schedule sex, how I
don't romantic? And I was like, we don't like schedule
and it's not like four pm on Thursdays it's just
we make sure that it happens and we make ourselves
a priority because like I will say that after I
had Clayton Cruise, like there was a time where like
there was you know, we had like you know, a

(43:24):
low point like where you know, I wasn't feeling my
best and then I wasn't like in the mood. Or
then he would come home from work and I would
be so exhausted that then like I'd be complaining to
him instead of like, you know, it just it changed.
It changes after kids. So I think the fact that
like we can talk about it and make it, you know,

(43:45):
something that we can laugh about makes it a lot easier. Also,
like if I want to schedule a blow job at
four pm on a Thursday, like I'm going to do
that because guess what, it's my life and it's my
prerogative and I get I can guarantee you when I
have kids, I will probably be scheduling those things. Is
it going to be color coordinated? What blowjop friend for

(44:13):
love are? No? I know it's so funny. Daily makeouts
are gonna have to be daily make out? Yeah? I
know it. The kids are, but also kids are funny too,
They're like, ohh you guys are disgusting, Like what see
you two kids? I'm like come on, and they're like

(44:36):
that's now. I'm like, yeah, okay, guys, but I think
it's healthy for knstucing you like give your partner. You're like,
I think it's I think that's really important that your
kids see you guys like kissing and loving each other
for sure. I mean maybe not like grabbing your boobs
and button things like that, but I think kissing is
so sweet. Me too, I think so too. They just

(44:56):
like to cheose us and then and then crews always go, Dad,
what are you trying to be handsome for mom? You
can be handsome? Yeah, So that's that. That's that we're
gonna get back in the swing of things. Come to night. Baby, wait,
I need to know, so like, okay, this is like

(45:16):
sick because I'm actually gonna be thinking about this on Tuesday.
So like, are you gonna like wear something nice? Are
you gonna do something just just regular straight sex. It's
gonna be like one. It's like been a while, so
we have like Also, it's I mean, last trimester of

(45:37):
sex is like a whole situation because you can only
do it from one ankle, like it's a whole thing.
So this is like i't I might be still in
a little bit of pain. So you have to like
tread softly the first time, like there's no funny business
because like your uterus is still shrinking and like there
could be you know, like you're still like bleeding weeks

(46:00):
after having a baby. I love that you like touch
your book as I say that. It makes me so
it's like so intense. So we have to we have
to you know, we'll be careful the first time, but
the second time during the week, you know, I bet
we'll really have to ex handle. Do they stitch? Because
you had dumb naturally right like out the hole, out

(46:23):
the whole of how many stitches did you have with
Slaton cruise stitches and with dub I didn't need? Does
that mean you're vagina was so stretched out embarrassed when
I when I asked how many stitches and he said that,

(46:50):
I was like, what can you just put a courtesy
stitch in there? Because I obviously can you tighten the
backup down there? He's like, great news, you didn't tear,
And I was like, I share, it's actually hilarious. That's

(47:13):
so funny. That's better for the recovery, right, Yeah, it
was great for the recovery, terrible for the ego. Can't
tell On that note, Tanya, thanks for joining me today
and getting me to share my most um embarrassing topics.

(47:34):
You're so welcome. I was just happy to, so happy to.
I can't wait until you have kids that I can
grill you on your vagina. Dude, I can't wait too,
because I mean I can't wait, and I will wait.
But um, it's such a new world that like it's
just so I don't even know where I'm gonna begin,
Like I'm gonna be reading all the books, all the things,

(47:57):
but then it's gonna be totally different from me, for you,
for them, whatever you read or here, because like every
single person I know has like a completely different story.
And you know, we get ourselves all amped up for
something that doesn't happen, and then you know, you end
up stitch less, stitch less, stitchless with faulty boobs, but
somehow we're surviving. So I'm like literally trying to envision

(48:22):
like what no, like how sexy my stitchless? Uh? Crying
and then having to ask edwin to take my placenta
outside to drop it off to the placenta ladies so
I could have them made into pills so I could
eat them. Do you ask Edwin, like, is my vagina

(48:42):
like shrutch here? Well I have. I didn't ask him
if I missed any spots like grooming, and he was like, actually, baby,
you did a really nice job up. And I was like,
you shave it before you give birth. You just think

(49:04):
I might to have a bunch of hair out that now?
Of course, of course I did, and I was serious
about it. I went in the bath with a mirror.
I could not handle if there was like a like
a weird spot or some kind of like misshaving or

(49:25):
not even for just my husband my doctor, Like I
don't right right the nurses, gosh, not be the worst
scene of the day, right right right? I get that. Wow,
Edwin really has really just stepped up. He's stepped up.
I see him at the with a whole new set
of eyes. Now. Yeah, So anyways, so I'm well kempt

(49:50):
keeping things together. But yeah, but now I can see
mine again and it's it seems fine. We'll see how
it goes. I'm gonna tell see you on Tuesday and
be like, happy hump Day, Happy hump Day, hump Day.
Oh my god, you made me like cry laughing thing.
I've totally forgotten about the stitches and now I'm back.

(50:14):
You're I don't know what, but what you name your
podcast episodes with this one should be stitchless, stitchless, stitchless
stitchless and hormonal stitch listen hormonal. Thanks for tuning in.
But I do think a lot more energy because I
ate my pacenta pills. I'm serious. I'll read about that

(50:35):
some day. I can't wait to eat my own placenta.
On that note, On that note, it's all unapproved, so Tanya.
Next up, we have Jinny Marie Batistan and she has
books on Mindfulness for Teens and ten Minutes a Day
and then Mindfulness Journey for Teens. They're both available now.

(50:56):
But she's going to talk to us about like coping
with anxiety with everything that we're going through right now. Nice,
I love that, So let's take a little break and
then we'll come back with her. Right I can't believe
you've got me to share that stuff. Wait, would you

(51:18):
not normally share that stuff? I'm sorry, Hi, how are
you guys. Good. Thanks, you're on with Tony and Teddy.
All right, Hi, Hi you guys holding up there, We're
holding up. We're so okay, we can see you. We're

(51:39):
so happy to hear from you because we would love
to hear some ways to reduce anxiety and stress during
these uncertain times. Rates I'd love to chat with you
guys about that. What would you say, like, just off
the top of your head, is like the number one
way to reduce stress and anxiety right now? You know,

(52:01):
one of the things that I'm noticing with a lot
of my clients is, you know, it's important to acknowledge
the feelings and not push it away. I think a
lot of times we think like I just shouldn't think
about this, but sometimes that it actually makes us more anxious.
But if we can just acknowledge it and just say, like,
I'm knowing you've seeing I'm having an anxious thought about
what's going on, and then once we notice it, we

(52:23):
can then actually then commit our attention to focus on
something that is within our control, so something inside of
our home, something with our kids, something with our partner,
um and you know, and then that will really start
to lessen the anxiety because if we worry about everything
that's out there, we can't control what's going on outside

(52:45):
of our home right now for sure. And the more
we try to control the uncontrollable, the worst we get. Yes. Absolutely,
And do you care if I just kind of go
through some listener questions right now because so many people
bull are just like at their within right now, and
I want to make sure that we get through them. Yes,
that's great, all right. The first one is what can

(53:08):
I do to make grocery shopping less stressful? Uh? That's
a great one. I think if we can really try
to create a menu for the week, and it can
be really fun too, if we engage the family, we're
home by ourselves. Maybe we can just be creative and say, hey,
I'm gonna create some fun recipes this week. Make a list,

(53:30):
and then be strategic about your list of Okay, I'm
gonna go out and I'm gonna do shopping for two
weeks um as much as possible, because that lessons are
contact out there. Uh, and then we can do simple
things when we're out there as far as you know.
If we have our own disinfecting wives, take them with us,
just an extra precaution, but just being aware of our
where our placement of our body is and that we

(53:53):
can keep ourselves safe. And I think before you actually
leave the house, just remind yourself, hey, I can be
aware of myself. I can keep myself safe by keeping
appropriate distancing. I'm in control of my space and my body.
And if we start with that mindset, it tends to
lessen our anxiety when we're out there in the public.
That's really good advice because we just start to spiral

(54:17):
and like already planned the next grocery trip when you're
at the current one. I know, and like, I hate
going to the grocery store because it makes me anxious.
And I'm like, I'm starting to get better about just
being like this is fine. I can do it and
safely do it. And I'm I'm good. I know. I
keep I keep checking Amazon Fresh to see if it's
like working, and it's not. I'm always like, all right,

(54:40):
I gotta go the next. The next one is about
hand washing, and it's I'm so paranoid about washing my hands.
They're starting to crack and bleed. What do I do?
How can I manage it? It's become a compulsion. Ah yes,
So part of that is just acknowledging too. Again, I'm
having the thought of being anxious about coronavirus. I'm noticing

(55:06):
that thought, and sometimes if we actually just actually acknowledge it,
then we start to lessen our anxiety about it and
then say a statement with that of I can take
care of myself. I can be aware of when I
need to wash my hands. So you know, if we're
staying in our home, we're safe in our home. Uh.
You know, we've we we're protecting ourselves, so our handwashing

(55:29):
doesn't need to be as extreme when we're home. Sometimes
we focus on that because it feels like something within
our control. But if we've come home and we've washed
your hands, we're good there. So acknowledge I'm having that thought.
Acknowledge I already took an action. I came home, I
washed my hands. And then of course we can use
some really great things like get some lavender uh scented lotions.

(55:54):
Uh that can be just really soothing for our hands
as well as you're gonna get that little boost of
amotherapy of lavender that just calms the body. So we're
moisturizing our hands because we're washing them more often, but
we're also doing something that's going to calm us a
little bit. I like the idea of the lavender that
and I like that, all right, I can do that.
And then what about for extroverts who are really finding

(56:19):
it difficult to be home right now? Like what I
know likes have helped, but like, what other tools do
you recommend? Yeah, so of course we've got the zoom calls. Uh,
you know, I think people are getting creative. They're also
doing that Netflix watch parties together where you can chat
with your friends. I think also if we can just
commit ourselves to an action that we can do at

(56:41):
home that could be really fun and engaging that maybe
we don't always do. So maybe we can play a
board game with our family if we have someone who's
home with us. If we don't have anyone who's home
with us, then it's again finding something in the house
that we feel like we can put our time in
our energy too, that's enjoyable. And then maybe we share

(57:02):
with our friends and our family of the progress that
we've had on a project at home can be really helpful.
Of course, there's games you can play too. I think
a lot of people are having fun playing in these,
you know, remote games with each other. It's another fun
way to connect. And I mean watching Tiger King, I
really was. I really enjoyed that. That like got me

(57:24):
out of like I was kind of spiraling and then
I watched that, and I'm like, you know what, I
could be Joe exotic and now I feel better. It's
so funny how everyone is totally jumped on that Tiger
King guy. I've got to watch it now. I know.
I'm gonna watch it this weekend. Are you guys? You
haven't watched it. I cannot believe it. I was like,

(57:45):
I'm blown, So you need to watch it. It's not
just like an Instagram sensation. It's so crazy good. It's unbelievable. Okay,
we're gonna watch that again. I gotta do it. Yeah,
all right, So this one's funny. Um how he's asking,
which I think everybody can relate to. Um, how do

(58:06):
I not lose it on my husband being around him
all day every day? Oh my goodness, I am hearing
this one a lot, especially because I'm a relationship therapist. Um,
you know, I think it's really important that we have
a ten minute check in with our partner and say Hey,
what do you need today? Um? What would be helpful
for you? And and then create sanctuary zones in your

(58:28):
house where it's kind of like the no go zone
of where you're going to ask your partner for something
that's their zone. You're not going to enter it and
go like hey can you fix the toilet or hey
can you do another little laundry for me or whatever. Um,
You're just really going to protect th zones. Um. And
then if you do that ten minute check in of like, hey,
how are you feeling about things? How do you feel

(58:49):
like we're doing in the house, negotiating, getting things done,
taking care of the kids, or taking care of work? Uh?
And you know, how are you generally feeling in the
day to day of all of what we're going through.
And by doing that ten minute check in a lot
of times, that's gonna be stress reducing and that's going
to help us. You know, I feel a little bit less, uh,

(59:12):
you know, with our partner and that we want to
just um, you know, maybe send him along to the
Tiger King. Well, I feel like I totally agree because
I was talking earlier with telling me about it, and
I did say, like in the morning, my husband. I
like have a little conversation where I'll be like today
I'm feeling anxious or the time I'm feeling and kind
of like setting the tone to like we know how

(59:33):
to manage each other, or like I'm feeling on top
of the world today. I can do this. I've got
you know, like, so you have an idea because most
of the time we're projecting how we're feeling on our
partner and it has nothing to do with them. So
I try to always remember, I mean, I'm not perfect
at this. Like sometimes like last night, his phone was
like making a noise and I was like, and then

(59:54):
he was like, you need to take a breath, like
some other time. He One of the other things I
teach my couples is what I call CPR. So CPR
would be a compliment for the CEE. Give your partner
a compliment um or and I appreciate statement. And then
if you've got a problem, then leading into the problem

(01:00:15):
and say, but say it in this format. You know,
I'm feeling anxious about, you know, whatever you're feeling anxious about,
and then follow it by what you need and I
really need uh, And then your partner is going to
lean in a little bit more towards you and be
able to help meet those needs. Okay, all right, I'm
gonna I'm gonna app my compliments. I'm sure Tony is

(01:00:35):
already good at the complimenting. Yeah, but also, like you
also have to understand we're newly dating, so that's like
not you know, but I also think when I'm when
I'm telling people that are like going and saying with
their partners is like, just have a little bit of
grace for everybody right now, you know what I mean.
Like we're all going through emotions and feelings that we've
never had or felt before. So it's just kind of like,

(01:00:57):
let's just all have a little bit of great for
one another. Yes, that's so true. And I think it's
important for us to also have compassion for our own
self as well during this time and understand it is
difficult times. So if we can have self compassion first,
then we also are able to have compassion and kindness
with our partner. Alright, Alright, I know we've all we've

(01:01:18):
all got to work on that. Guys. Nobody needs to be,
you know, losing it on their husbands every day. Let's
let's let's keep it to like every five days. I
think that's okay, that's a fair compromise. It just needs
to me every day. We have enough um. And then
the final question before we have to wrap up because
we're running out of time, is somebody's saying I haven't
showered in four days and I wear sweats every day.

(01:01:41):
One thing that I can say is I pretty much
wear sweats on the bottom every day, but I do
take a shower because the shower actually makes me feel better.
I take multiple showers a day. I could not imagine
not showering for five days. That would really throw me
into another tailsman. You have to shower, and if you
don't even like showers, like even if you take a
bath and look at it like self care and like

(01:02:03):
make it like a place where you're reading, or put
some some bath salts in there, like find a way
that like you can take a moment to yourself to
enjoy the process. Because I know with myself, when I
am not like clean, I don't feel good and I
can't like take action. But you know true, I mean,

(01:02:24):
is there anything else you guys want to add to that? Yeah,
put some candles on. And also we know that you
know our anxieties are going to be lessened if we
keep a routine and a schedule. So a showers an
important part I hope of our normal schedule. So keep
that going perfect. Well, you guys, thank you so much. Um,

(01:02:45):
thank you for joining me, both of you guys. I
think it's so I mean, we had some laughs and
then also I think these are some great tools and
the most important thing we can all remember is like
we're not in this alone. We're all together, and you know,
we're doing what's best for for us and are staying
healthy in our families and everyone around us. And you know,
I'm really grateful to you guys because having this like

(01:03:07):
contact and speaking with you guys has really made me
feel good today. So thank you, yes, yes, thank you
and everyone hanging there. We're gonna all get through this together.
Yeah we well, thank you, thank you. Hi. Thanks for listening.
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