May 10, 2024 • 35 mins
The Two Ts join the Two Jersey Js.
From skin cancer to an intestinal blockage, the ladies get real about their health journeys.
Plus, how housewives has affected their mental health and advice for getting through the tough times.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
All right, guys.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
So we were just on to teason a pod, So
if you haven't listened to that yet, go run listen download.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Yes are so Now we're going to do two Jersey Jays.
I'm Jen Fessler, I'm Jackie Goldschneider, and we all know
who our guest is. Now. Hello, Teddy Mellencamp.
Speaker 4 (00:20):
Hi, guys, I'm so happy to be here.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
We're so happy to have you.
Speaker 4 (00:24):
The Tables of Turn Now I am I.
Speaker 5 (00:27):
In the Oh.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Yeah, you're gonna get yours. Yeah, I'm going to rip
you in new I Now ours is not going to
be quite as salacious.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
We love you, We love you.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Tamra had to step out for a little bit, but
she's going to be joining us a little bit later
in the episode.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Today we're talking about health, which I know.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
That you have so much to say and unfortunately so
much experience with lately.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Yeah, but we're also going to talk more specifically about health,
women's health and women of a certain age. And you're
both Jackie and Teddy younger than I am, but focused
on of middle age women and what we go through. Yeah,
And it's constantly like that, It is, it is. I've
(01:08):
always been this reaging hypochondriac. So I've been picturing my
demise since I was in my twenties, and I remember
just getting so freaked out because if I had a headache,
I had a brain tumor, and then my wish was
I would pray, please God, let me just have kids first,
(01:28):
Let me just get married first. Now it's like, what
about the kids, Like I can't and I don't. We're
not going to get too morbid. But you know, in
terms of health issues, I think that it's so scary
when you get to our age.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
Yeah, I mean, I would say the biggest and I've
talked about this before, but I'm hoping that it'll reach
additional people. If you are listening to this right now
and you currently do not have life insurance and you
have not done your last will and Testament and your
trusts or whatever it is that you need to have
in place, do it now, because it's something I had
(02:03):
not done prior to all of my skin cancer diagnosis
and now I cannot get life insurance.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Yeah. Wow, I didn't know that.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Yeah that was testing.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Wow, that's terrible.
Speaker 5 (02:18):
Yeah, So before you have you know, like I never
really thought about it, like I was like I don't know.
I mean like me and Edwin know where the kids,
like my sister, you know, like we've talked about that
kind of stuff. But once it started getting more real,
I was like, oh my gosh, I need to have
like life insurance. And I went through the whole process.
You have to go through multiple different channels to then
(02:39):
get like an email you're rejected.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
I can't believe that.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Wow, that's awful.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Wait, Teddy, how old are you I am? I love that.
Speaker 5 (02:46):
I was about to answer thirty six because like for life,
that's how old I am.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
I'm forty two years old. So forty two years old?
Speaker 1 (02:53):
And are you your cancer free? Now?
Speaker 5 (02:56):
I'm currently cancer free.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
I know.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
Such good news.
Speaker 5 (03:02):
It's one of those things that I do need to
continue to get checked every three months. I think I was.
I ended up having over fourteen. On December twenty sixth
I had a huge surgery that's essentially my whole back
where they they essentially cut out the entire hole of
like my shoulder and then pulled my excess skin over
(03:25):
my shoulder and now there's like kind of like a
shark bite surgery. My shirts news did an incredible job,
but all of that could have been avoided had I
not like I'm an anxious OCD diagnosed. I'm not self diagnosing,
but like I am, and mine is not surrounding like
I don't.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
I'm not like where you said, Jen, that you.
Speaker 5 (03:46):
Like make up in your head, Yeah, those things like
I'm one of those people that avoids going to the
doctor because I want to pretend I'm always okay.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Wow, okay. So I want to ask a little bit
of an uncomfortable question. And like the first time that
you went in and they told you that you had cancer,
Like what hearing those words?
Speaker 3 (04:06):
What was that like for you?
Speaker 5 (04:08):
Well, the first time I went in, truthfully, I didn't
think it was a big deal. I didn't really know
anybody that had skin cancer. I didn't know anyone that
in my mind that was just something you cut out
and you get right.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
I would feel the next right. That's like, I do
know plenty of people that have had skin cancer, and
it's not you think of it like I get moved
orgery or whatever and never think of Yah.
Speaker 5 (04:34):
So I had had these spots on my back for
for a long time, ever since I was a child, essentially,
and they would just change colors from like white to
frecklely to red.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
People think skin cancer.
Speaker 5 (04:44):
You think it looks like a standard mole for me,
And I never did my first one. I went to
a dermatologist. I hadn't gotten to the oncologist point yet,
and the dermatologist said, this spot looks a little funny.
Do you want me to biopsy or just cut it out?
It's small enough that I could just cut it out
right now. I know you don't want to come back.
(05:06):
And I was like, oh, cut it out. She's like,
it might not look great. I'm like, don't care, cut
it out, send the whole thing in. Let's you know whatever.
And then that one, you know, turned into thirteen more so,
it really the first one I didn't think was ever
going to really turn into another one. And then it
was the constant cycle for someone like me who likes
(05:26):
to control everything, the constant cycle of the unknowns, and
then going to that place of what if I don't
make it, what if I do die? And then like
the things in my head that I would really go through,
like it was like I had real conversations with Edwin
where I was like, honey, I want to talk about
who you're going to marry when I die.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
And I she would like to pick her, I'd like
to pick them to my children, Like I.
Speaker 5 (05:51):
Really want to go through this because I don't trust
your picker, like you went through a lot before you
got to me, and like I'm still not even the best.
Let's really narrowed down, like my non negotiables for what
I want. And I even told my best girlfriends the same.
I'm like, guys, if I don't make it, please do
not let edwin. I don't mind if the girl's prettier
(06:12):
than me, but she needs to be funny, a good mom,
be supportive, show up to my kids' sporting events, like
she needs.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
To be with it.
Speaker 5 (06:19):
Yeah, and if she can't be with it, I'm not
interested and she has to know. It sounds crazy, but
like one of the jokes we got when I was
on the show is people said what do you love
most about Teddy and he said that she's organized, and
everyone was like, oh, grow, but he is the most
unorganized human in the world.
Speaker 4 (06:37):
So like, you need that yin and yang, I think
in a relationship.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
So I've heard that that Kyle Richards was actually the
one who spotted the first like street cooking, spot.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
That's that's insane.
Speaker 5 (06:49):
Tell us, Well, we were on a run and I thought,
you know, I guess. I mean, this was after I'd
already gotten fired, so she'd she'd seen the back of
my You know, we've been working out together since I
got hired on the show, and I would always wear
just like a sports for our tank top or whatever.
But my shoulders were always exposed, so people always saw it. Plus,
you know, like all those dresses that we wear, you
(07:10):
kind of always show it. I was always in the sun,
and you know, it wasn't the world's best about putting
sunscreen on. And something that I learned, just to go
back on it for a second, is people constantly ask me,
you know, what sunscreen should we use? What?
Speaker 4 (07:25):
And what my like board This is key board certified
dermatologists told me was the best sunscreen that you can
use is the one you.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
Will actually put on?
Speaker 5 (07:36):
Yeah, Because if I don't you feel if this, Yeah,
if the sunscreen feels lucky on you, or you don't
like it, or you don't enjoy putting it on, you're
not going to reapply it and you're not going to
you know, so find one that.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
You like to use.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
This use spray. It's just easier. Sometimes I use spray.
Speaker 5 (07:53):
I mean, I'm always using different things because you know,
with that, I have like textural stuff, so I don't
like the way it feels on my hands blah blah blah.
But so either way, I was on a run with Kyle.
I was in a sports raw and she was like, Teddy,
that spot on your back.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
It doesn't look good.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
And I had gone years, probably like ten years before
to a dermatologist to get it checked, and they said
it looked like dermat dermatitis, like sometimes after you have
kids you get dermatitis like whatever it was. And they
gave me like a steroid cream and a shrunk and
I just ignored.
Speaker 4 (08:25):
It since then.
Speaker 5 (08:26):
But yeah, so at that moment, she goes, I'm gonna
call my dermatologist right now. So she called her, and
on our run we ran.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
To the dermatologist's office. And that was the first time I.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
Went to wow, did you like have When if anybody
ever says these like, I remember if I'm getting like
my hair washed and like I've had my haird a
kind of look kind of move my hair and look
at and I'm like, what the fuck, Like, did you
have that sinking feeling when she when Kyle sort of
picked up on it.
Speaker 5 (08:58):
No, I mean, but it was those things that like
my husband had told me probably a thousand times to
go get checked. But it's like something about just in
that moment, I was like, you know, I'm such a
know at all, but like I was like, Okay, you're right,
I should go. And then when that first spot came,
and then the beauty of I think sharing vulnerability is
(09:19):
normally in my life, I'm one of those people that
don't tell people what I need. I'll more just like
pull back and maybe go into like a state of
like depression or anxiety or whatever it may be, because
I don't ever want to get the feeling of being
rejected or somebody telling me they can't do something, so
I just don't ask for help. But with this entire journey,
I really opened up to my family and my friends
(09:41):
and essentially people on Instagram too, but and just shared
what I was going through and it gave me so
much peace because I didn't feel like I was carrying
it alone.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
I love that. I love that What about your kids
were you able to did they know any better to
have this?
Speaker 5 (09:57):
You know, I've always been, not that this is a compare,
but people are like, how could you be scared of
a doctor, but you went and got a neck lift.
I'm like, because that was I chose to two hundred percent,
I'll im in trolassic surgery seven.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Days a week. I told, well, yeah, well yeah, like yes,
so I will.
Speaker 5 (10:14):
I had always you know, and I wasn't one of
those moms that like didn't tell my kids that I
got a necklift, Like I was like, I have, this
has been something that's bothered me in my entire.
Speaker 4 (10:22):
Life, blah blah blah.
Speaker 5 (10:23):
So like they had known about surgeries prior because of that,
and Slay was always kind of like my nurse, Like
she would come in and be like, oh, is there
a stitch?
Speaker 3 (10:32):
Can I get that?
Speaker 4 (10:33):
You know, like she'd clean everything.
Speaker 5 (10:35):
So I just kind of kept the open conversation here
and made it more of like, guys, first and foremost,
I want to tell you that if in these next
couple of months, why we're figuring this all out, if
I'm not in the best mood, it's not about you.
It's not because I'm mad at you, it's not because
(10:55):
you're doing something wrong. It's because I am struggling. It
doesn't mean that I'm not going to get better, but
I don't want you to take that on. But also,
do you guys want me to tell you as everything happens?
And they were like, yes, please tell us, like and
they all have different responses, like Dove's always asking like
can I have a band aid? Because I want to
be like mommy, I want to have a boo bloo,
(11:16):
you know, like and Cruise is more of like the
cuddler the lever, and Slate is like the caregiver, you know,
she really goes.
Speaker 4 (11:24):
Out of her way.
Speaker 5 (11:25):
And I think the only times that it was hard
is like post surgery, Like once I would think that
I was coming out of it and then I'd get
another hit and then my emotions didn't know how to
handle like that.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
So was this is this genetic?
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Or is this fri I know you said you had
them since you were a child, but did they get
worse with sun exposure or or was this bound to happen?
Speaker 5 (11:48):
Yeah, I mean I think they don't actually know. I mean,
I like winning things. But when my oncologists told me
that I have the most amount of melanomas they'd ever
seen at our hospital, It wasn't.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
Something that I wanted to do, and I was like, Okay,
we're going.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
To congratulate you on that. There'll be no prizes for that.
Speaker 5 (12:05):
Yeah, but no, I mean, I now, after the fact,
I did learn that there's something called Castle Sciences that
I wish I would have done at my first mole
or my first skin cancer.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
But what they do is they take.
Speaker 5 (12:19):
Your biopsy and after they diagnose you know what stage
you are, then you can send it to Castle Sciences
and then it can tell you your chances of getting
more and it's spreading because that would have been key
information for me to have because then I could have
I could have gone one way or the other. But
at least then I would have known these are going
(12:39):
to keep coming up. But yes, I had tons of
sun exposure growing up.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
I put bayboil on. I did these things. Is that
the cause of it? I have no idea. I also
was in a tanning bed when I was younger, but
something that was I mean.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
The wedding, forget it. So how's your shoulder now? Was
that a painful recovery? I imagine stretching the skin like that.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
I mean, I'll give you guys a little. I'll give
you a viewing. It's not this isn't for our only
fans page.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Guys.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
I remember seeing it at it's a lot teddy looks.
So that does not look like it was easy. No,
I'm sorry, but I love how you're still backless and
you're still sometimes right without like you wear it with
your ride.
Speaker 5 (13:31):
Yeah, I mean I don't. Definitely, like people are like,
what do you want to would you want to go?
And I'm like no, for me, like all the shitty
things that I've done in my life, at least I can.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
Feel like I'm helping people in this regard that.
Speaker 5 (13:43):
Like people are saying, yeah, I went to go get
check because it can be a bigger deal. We think
in our head, you know, the two big things with
skin cancer is one it's not a big deal, or
two you caused this yourself.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Yeah, And so I think there's that guilt that it's.
Speaker 5 (13:59):
Kind of and I remember feeling that same guilt when
I couldn't get pregnant naturally the first time.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
That's same, like sh I'm wrong.
Speaker 4 (14:08):
People would say, well, maybe you're too stressed or maybe
you're this, and then it became that guilt again, and
I'm like, why am I punishing myself for something that's
completely out of my control?
Speaker 3 (14:17):
At this point, I hate when people say, like I've
been gone through, like we all have very stressful times
and people say, you have to relax, You're gonna give
yourself cancer. That's how I'm like, So now you think
that helps me to relax. So now I think I'm stressed,
that I'm stressed.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
But I don't think that's cancer. It doesn't come from stress.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
They say it they well, listen, people have to say
of it. They say it all the time. Yeah, like
or they'll I've had people say, you know, she whatever
one of my friends. Some Yeah, I've had a couple
of friends got cancer and they say, well, she was
in like the hardest time in her life and she
was so stressed. I personally like to believe that one
does not affect the other, but a lot of people
disagree with me.
Speaker 5 (14:56):
Wow, well, I mean, I can't even remember what franchise
on of housewives, but somebody said, like, you like said
it public.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
Yeah, because I remember that she.
Speaker 5 (15:05):
Got cancer something along those I remember that, I can't
totally remember that it was. And the person ended up
having to like release a statement saying like you know
that I didn't mean it like that, And I think
that's also we say things in just sometimes you know,
I mean, we even saw it. I know you guys
talk about this often, but like I even saw it.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
Who was it?
Speaker 5 (15:28):
Maybe it was Barbara streisand commented on the ozempic thing publicly.
She didn't realize it, But like sometimes we say things
and we don't realize what the magnitude their impact will
mean from that, you know, I have a.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
Question, Teddy, after now that it's gone forever, we're gonna
go with it's gone forever, how has it changed you?
And guys, I'm gonna I think that like it wouldn't.
It's not just skin cancer, right, I would think, and
I haven't had cancer, but that it just changes you.
Whatever it is, has it well?
Speaker 5 (16:00):
I would say one regardless of if it's skin cancer,
whatever kind of cancer it may be, is you need
to get all of your checks. It doesn't mean you
just need to go to the dermatologists. You also need
to go to the gaynocologist. You need to get your
eyes checked. It can be glaucoma. You need to get
like every your colonoscopy's like all of those things, just
do it, book them, like do it once and just
(16:22):
like book out two days and make that a priority.
But how it has changed me is I've really shifted
my focus on things that I really love to do.
You know, A big part of my self worth has
always been, you know, like, am I going to be approved?
Like I was always like searching for that you know,
outside approval, whether that started with my parents or whatever
(16:45):
may happen. So I've always been a really hard worker,
but I wasn't really thinking about what do I love doing?
And now I really focus on it. I'm back to
riding horses a lot. I invest my money like the
like I'm tight with my money, but like with that
kind of stuff, I'm like, this is something my daughter
and I love doing, and I'm going to invest in
that because this is about enjoying my life that I've created.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
I love that. Can we transition to mental health for
a few minutes.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
Yeah, of course, did you? So?
Speaker 2 (17:12):
You said that you struggle with anxiety, which I do too,
and I do too. We talked a lot together about
mental health, but we don't talk about it on here yet.
I'm curious if you feel like being on the show
you were three years full time?
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Right? Yes? How was that for your mental health?
Speaker 5 (17:35):
The being on the show was fine, Like, it wasn't
necessarily like being on the show. I had some of
my you know, I just saw Renna and Kyle and
Erica and it was like no time had passed and
we laughed and we enjoyed it and like we can
talk about the good times because just like anything in life,
you kind of like block out the bad times and
remember the good It's like going back to that ex
(17:57):
boyfriend after you know you shouldn't like it's still like
you're like you forget the parts that weren't great. I
didn't love being pregnant and filming because I didn't feel
as engaged.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
I guess, of course, like I've I was.
Speaker 4 (18:11):
Somebody that drank on the show.
Speaker 5 (18:14):
I mean, I'm a person that I don't I don't
need to drink to live, but if I'm going to
go out to a birthday party, I'm going to have
a couple of drinks.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
Yeah, Like it loosens me up.
Speaker 5 (18:23):
So not being able to do that my last year
and then having it be a really heavy season that
was difficult.
Speaker 4 (18:31):
But I wouldn't say that was being on the show.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Well, the only reason I ask is because it's actually
been fine for both of us as far as I know.
But I have seen people whose mental health was shaky
completely spiral.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Well, I mean also I think, yes, I think, well,
I think the show has affected my mental health. If
mental health means anxiety, I mean anxiety levels have definitely
they've gotten higher. Doesn't mean I'm not you know, I'm
okay to function and I'm still having fun. But anyway,
I think also I'm interested in mental health when you
were younger because I have had mental health issues since
(19:07):
my twenties and they've certainly changed forms and I handle
it way better now than I did when I was younger. Oh,
here's camera, Hi, Tam.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Hi Camra.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
We were talking about health, and we talked all about
Teddy's skin cancer journey and we were just delving a
little bit into mental health.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
But like, also how different it is because we're trying
to We're try you know, you guys obviously you are
producers of our show, so you know, we don't really
do talk a lot about housewives, but we do talk
a lot about women of a certain age. And you guys,
your spread is Tam, how old. I mean I think
you're younger than me.
Speaker 6 (19:46):
Maybe, Yeah, I think I'm older.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
I'm fifty six, I'm fifty five, same idea. Yeah, but
what happens between, like, for instance, Jackie's age forty seven
and fifty five and Teddy you're even younger. But as
your me mental health, because mine has definitely changed. I
handle my mental health issues way better now. But you know,
as we're going through these different stages of our life,
(20:09):
what is affecting you in terms of mental health?
Speaker 4 (20:13):
Well, I think people talk about mental health now.
Speaker 5 (20:16):
I when we were younger, it was something to be
ashamed of, or that like that one crazy person over
there had that, so you couldn't ever have that, you know,
or it was these where now it's so spoken about.
I think, even especially post COVID because all of our kids'
mental health was starting to be affected from not being
(20:36):
able to go to.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
School and all this, Like we are all more comfortable.
Speaker 5 (20:40):
Speaking about it now, So I think that really sheds
so much more light on the discussion around mental health.
Speaker 4 (20:47):
But yeah, I mean, you you go on to CHAM but.
Speaker 6 (20:50):
I think for me, it's just getting older in experience
and things I've gone through before. I had a really
hard time just dealing with things, just dealing with anything.
And now I've just learned that, you know, everything passes,
Everything passes, So whatever I'm so stressed out over and
I'm I'm just in my head. I'm like, okay, give
(21:11):
it up to God, Like God take over. I'm going
to be okay. I am always okay. It's going to
be okay. And it's just a process of just talking
yourself yourself through.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
My therapist always says to me, she's like Jackie, slowed
down and let life unfold. And I always remind myself
of that because I don't. I'm always anxious about what's
coming next, if nothing's coming next, or how to make
things happen, and like, I always have to remind myself
to slow down a little.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
I mean I discovered prozac later in life, so that
has certainly helped. Yeah, I was.
Speaker 5 (21:41):
Gonna say, Zoloft has really taken things to the better
place for me.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
Yeah, I mean I remember I went that route.
Speaker 6 (21:47):
Yeah, I went that route when I was younger.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
I was younger, i'd gotten off of it, and yeah,
I've been.
Speaker 6 (21:52):
On it in years, but I've had children that I've
had to put on many too for me too, anxiety
and stuff inciting.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
Yeah, I mean I'm a big fan. Not everyone agrees
with that, but I'm a big fan of SSRIs, not
necessarily like the ones what are they called, like the
Xanax and the although at times when it's I've had
bad anxiety, I use those two. But like SSRIs, I
I always say to people that are hesitant, you're still you.
You know, it doesn't change your personality. It doesn't change
(22:21):
at least for me, it doesn't change my E.
Speaker 6 (22:22):
Well, I think it's different for everybody.
Speaker 5 (22:25):
I think.
Speaker 6 (22:26):
I don't think everybody can. Like I had one child
that gained twenty pounds and was staring at the wall.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
So fair, It's like.
Speaker 6 (22:34):
Yeah, that one, maybe another one might have worked who
We ended up leaning her off of it and just
got her into working out, and she's gotten older.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
It's very better, right right, Well, talk to us a
little bit tammer about health issues. I mean that's the
topic today. It's kind of heavy.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
But you had your own melanomas, correct, Yeah, I had melanoma.
Speaker 6 (22:54):
I've had multiple skin cancers. I've had everyone you can
think of. And then I was getting a miss during
a filming and in Iceland, and this MASSU said you
should check that little dot on your butt. I'm like, okay.
And I was going to my normal dermatology appointments and
she's as I was walking out the door is all done.
(23:16):
I go, oh, you know what, can you look at this?
And she goes, oh my god, why didn't you show
me this before? And I go, I totally forgot. It
had been months. She goes me, buy upstate, Buy upstate.
It was stage one melanoma.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
Wow, it sucks. And we're talking to Teddy just about
how that has affected you. I mean, I'm obviously I'm
sure your heart sank when you heard that.
Speaker 6 (23:39):
Oh yeah, it's a scary, scary, scary feeling because I
was so used to having things burn off of me,
cut off of me because I'm just I'm irish, I'm
white and freckly, and all the damage I did to
my skin in my twenties and thirties. You know, the
tanning beds. I used to work for a tanning salong
salon out of high school, so I would bake in
those tanning beds, right, And now the dermatologist is like,
(24:02):
this is what I'm seeing. You know, women in their
forties and fifties that did this in the eighties and
nineties now have multiple skin cancers.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Yeah. And ps, my twenty one year old kids soon
to be twenty two is still doing it and we
fight about it. It doesn't matter. I mean, she's she
doesn't give a shit, you know, she's.
Speaker 6 (24:19):
It needs to be out lawed.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
I know I can't. I mean, either Tanny beds or
just she just bakes in the sun. And she always
I say to her the first day, at least put
on sunscreen. No, she has a Listen, she burns and
she peels. I'm like, Rachel, you're gonna regret this, dude.
She's not good, not God forbid skin cancer. But even
just you know, esthetically.
Speaker 6 (24:39):
Just premature aging and rankling and all that that comes
from from the sun. Like my daughter will not even
go in the sun while she actually has like a
little allergic reaction to the sun, so if she goes
in she breaks out in a rash.
Speaker 5 (24:52):
But also it's the products our kids are using, like
the fact that we have like ten year olds that
want like drunk elephant with anti aging blah blah blah,
like they go you can't even go to a Sephora
on Saturday with like every like pro's purchase for them.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
My daughter's obsessed to thirteen. Oh it's bad for them.
Speaker 4 (25:13):
Yeah, because think about it.
Speaker 5 (25:14):
If you're using products on your on your skin that
you don't need yet, you're creating your body to get
used to something. I'm not a doctor, but like I've
gone down the talk rabbit hole, right, like you're creating
TikTok you.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
Know you're Yeah, I'm a TikTok doctor.
Speaker 5 (25:29):
So like I I have to tell Slate, like, no,
I'm going to look through the back and see, like,
what are the things inside of here that like are
absolutely unnecessary for an eleven year old?
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Right? Can you imagine drunk elephant at eleven?
Speaker 1 (25:43):
I mean, my daughter's got more products than I have thirteen.
They're all over the place.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
The kids are like in my way at support. It's annoying.
Speaker 6 (25:50):
Way, what is drunk elephants?
Speaker 3 (25:52):
It's like camera. I mean I love it.
Speaker 4 (25:57):
I have it on today. At least you see this glow.
Speaker 6 (26:00):
Face, right, Yeah, Okay, I'm gonna google it.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
Yeah yeah, it's I need it too.
Speaker 6 (26:04):
Can I get on Amazon?
Speaker 5 (26:06):
Well? The packaging is really enticing to children, especially, and
they all do their like get ready with me, and
they're you know, that's.
Speaker 4 (26:14):
Also the thing for mental health.
Speaker 5 (26:17):
Social media, Like I had to download this app called
q Q Studio where I can track how long my
kids are on each thing. So like I'm like, what
are you doing at not like your phone supposed to
be outside of your room. Why can I see that
you were on Amazon or you were playing Roadblocks or
Fortnite or whatever at ten thirty after.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
We said good night?
Speaker 5 (26:38):
You know, like we have to be aware because our
parents weren't. I mean, we're not gonna be able to
micromanage everything. I mean, heck like.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
We' I mean, yes, a for effort, but no, you can't.
Have you had other health issues?
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Yeah, te had you struggled with intestinal obstruction.
Speaker 6 (27:02):
Right, Yeah, I still struggle with intestinal issues. I've had
intestinal issues my entire life. They I had go on
medication for a while. I mean when I was with Simon,
I don't think my stress helped it, but I had
severe irritable bow syndrome, so I could barely pick the
kids up from school. I knew where every bathroom was
from here to the mall, which the mall is only
(27:23):
two miles from my house.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
So that means you always have to go to the
bathroom where you never go away. I can.
Speaker 6 (27:30):
I would drink even to this day, like, I mean,
this is disgusting, but I I pooped like probably seven times.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
I'm so jealous.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
I'm actually no, you're not jealous. I'm jealous.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
I'm not jealous of an illness of you know, yeah, direction.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
I'm on lindsay.
Speaker 6 (27:47):
I had abdominal surgery ten or eleven years ago. I
had a strangulated hernia. So I had a hernia. I
hate al hernia. There was beach my ribcage. I didn't
know it, and my intestines had grown through the my
stomach wall and were dying.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
Oh my god.
Speaker 6 (28:06):
I would get this really really bad pain. And it
was going on for quite a few months, and then
my stomach bloat really big. And then one day and
I was going to see a doctor and they couldn't
figure it out. I was having MRIs done at the
hospital everything, and then one day I was sitting at
home and it started and I said, okay, here it
goes here it goes like, get the toms out. I'm
doing everything, and this time it was beyond I called
(28:26):
Terry de brow. I go, Terry, it's happening. He goes,
get to the hospital now, so I called. I had
to call nine one one. The hospital is literally two
miles from my house Mission hospital, and by the I
had to have like three shots of morphine by the
time I got there.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
Wow, and wow they had.
Speaker 6 (28:42):
They did emergency surgery. They cut open my stomach vertically
and they had to like dissect my intestines off my stomach.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
Wall wow wow.
Speaker 6 (28:52):
But while they were doing that, they found that part
of my intestines were torn, and they think that that's
what was causing me all the stomach problems. So it
was kind of a blessing. And then then I was
I mean, it was horrible recovery. Horrible recovery.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
Now I think we have to rap soon. But how
are you doing today? Like health wise me?
Speaker 6 (29:11):
I mine, I have to keep on top of it.
My intestines. I always have to get scoping done. My
grandmother died of intestinal problems, so I mean it's really scary.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
Like ladies and gentlemen, welcome to aging. Yeah, not easy
and not easy.
Speaker 6 (29:24):
I just yeah, So I was when I was doing Traders,
I got severely sick and they put me on a
very strong antibiotic to get me through it. Will it
cause intestinal inflammation in my intestines. So by the time
I got home from Traders, I was in the hospital
for three days down my Yeah, I'm so. I always
joke with my mom, I've had more health issues in
my mom house.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
No one would know that we're watching you on I mean,
I know, I think you shared some stuff on Housewives,
But how do you guys feel in terms of like,
I at least and again, I'm a horrible hypochondriac, so
at any on any given day, death is knocking. But
some times the only two part you too, totally too
really well, the only good part of that is that
(30:06):
when I go, because I do, I'm at the doctor
every other day, and when I find out that I
am okay, I feel like I have different perspective, like,
oh wait a second. You know, whatever happened yesterday on
social media is not quite as important, right, And I
don't know, I mean, it doesn't always last. But this
(30:27):
kind of stuff, I don't think. There's certainly nothing good
about cancer, you know, or having intestinal problems or any
kind of illness, but sometimes it does give you perspective.
I mean, here about that a little. I mean, Tom,
I don't know if you felt like if you kind
of feel like that.
Speaker 6 (30:40):
I'm so petrified of cancer. I had a premio vos
kan recently. Well it's been a year. I'm going back
for a recheck, and they found like four spots on me.
Two of them were one is a pre cancer a
spot on my pancreas. Oh, come on, that's something you
just don't want tok around with. And it's it's very
very small. So I'm going back to get rechecked. And
(31:01):
stupid me, I haven't even in a year, haven't been
to the doctor to.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
Even Yeah, Tim, that's that is stupid. I can't take
that away from you. That is just stupid. Total yep yep,
teddy make But.
Speaker 6 (31:13):
They told they told me it was very very small.
It was like point four million meters.
Speaker 4 (31:18):
But that's why I said, have you gone for your
follow up?
Speaker 6 (31:20):
I'm going, yeah, next week, I'm going for a follow up.
Speaker 4 (31:24):
But yeah, I mean I think there's that.
Speaker 5 (31:26):
And I think also as women, we have so many
hormonal issues that come and go, and like for me example,
I remember being like put on birth control when I
was like fifteen years you know, like it was like
something you did. You like went to your first appointment,
you got put on birth control, and then like I
stayed on that forever and it wasn't probably the right
one for me, or my body changed or like still
(31:48):
the same things. It's just more when it comes to
your health, no matter what it is, hormones, cancer, intestinal issue,
you have to be an advocate for your own health
because you bought.
Speaker 6 (31:59):
Like I can diagnose you Teddy right now, what you
are a bundle of nerves and stress constantly. I am too,
not as bad as you. You have high anxiety. When
you have all that, it hurts you.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
We were talking about that earlier.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
We are just just thinking about that.
Speaker 5 (32:17):
But when people say that to you, it hurts you too, because.
Speaker 3 (32:22):
What am I going to do?
Speaker 6 (32:23):
But what did I tell you have to get your
cancer diagnosed? I said, you have to find a way
of processing shit. And then you know you now you
are really into horses again, So I think that that's
a good outlet. You don't you don't have time. I
know for me because I'm a worrier that if I'm
not busy, my mind is very destructive.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
Yeah, yeah, so.
Speaker 4 (32:44):
Please sense he kills my joy, Yes for sure.
Speaker 6 (32:47):
Yeah, and I know and you worry way more than
I do.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
Yeah, yeah, I think there's like a moral to the story.
One of them today is that like, as scary as
it is, especially I think as you're getting older, go
to the frickin' doctor. Like like Teddy, you were saying
that too, right, like get and I don't enjoy it.
There's there's a day with a mammogram is like not
a good day, and but you know, I do it.
(33:12):
It's my friend. I had one of my best friends, Denise,
died of ovarian cancer, and she would say to us
all the time, like because she went for a year,
she didn't feel well and it didn't get diagnosed, and
they would say to her at one point they thought
she should go on antidepressants and she was just so
tired all the time. But she would let it go.
(33:34):
But she said, like towards the end, especially, but she
would tell us the people that she loved, you got
to listen to your body.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
And Teddy, I love your idea of just taking two
days and making all your appointments and just dedicating those
two days to it.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
I love that.
Speaker 5 (33:50):
I mean I think that that And then also knowing,
like for me, because I am such like a stressed person,
like I will go, go, go, go go, But then
I finally gotten too the place of my life where
I also will give myself permission to crash, and like
It'll be a random like Monday or something, and I'll
be like, you know, I just always think that. Like
I'll even have to say to Edwin, even though he
(34:11):
wouldn't judge me, I have to be like, listen, I've
been working NonStop and then I had the weekend horse
show with the kids and blah blah, and I just
I'm gonna sit here and watch like women who kill
on blah blah blah and zone out.
Speaker 4 (34:23):
And he's like, you do you bo?
Speaker 5 (34:25):
You know, like, but sometimes you need that to just decpress.
Speaker 4 (34:29):
I mean, some people murder doesn't relax them, but it
relaxes me.
Speaker 3 (34:32):
Well, you also have little kids. It's harder to take
that time. I mean, I take that time every day
I crash, you know, but little kids, it's like you're
kind of screwed.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Yeah, well, I love this conversation.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
I think it was really like in lightning and I'm
sorry for all you guys have gone through.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
But it looks like you come out the other side stronger.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
I have to say that, like, like the idea of
people getting to know this, I don't know how much.
I mean, I've watched, I've been a fan for years
and years, but like how much people get to see
you as people not just housewives? Know and like the
struggles real.
Speaker 6 (35:03):
That's a good thing about our podcast that people do
see us in a different light.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
Yeah, yeah, just.
Speaker 6 (35:08):
Screaming, not just screaming lunatics on reality show.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
This to you guys for coming on. We love being
a part of your team too.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
Yeah, we do.
Speaker 5 (35:19):
We appreciate it really proud of you, guys, and we're
excited to see where the rest of the season goes.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
Yeah, you guys look thrilled. Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
All right, Well, thank you guys for listening.
Speaker 3 (35:32):
We are two Jersey Jays. Thank you, Tammer and Teddy.
What a pleasure, what an honor. Bye guys, Bye guys.
Speaker 6 (35:38):
Thank you guys.
All right, guys.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
So we were just on to teason a pod, So
if you haven't listened to that yet, go run listen download.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Yes are so Now we're going to do two Jersey Jays.
I'm Jen Fessler, I'm Jackie Goldschneider, and we all know
who our guest is. Now. Hello, Teddy Mellencamp.
Speaker 4 (00:20):
Hi, guys, I'm so happy to be here.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
We're so happy to have you.
Speaker 4 (00:24):
The Tables of Turn Now I am I.
Speaker 5 (00:27):
In the Oh.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Yeah, you're gonna get yours. Yeah, I'm going to rip
you in new I Now ours is not going to
be quite as salacious.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
We love you, We love you.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Tamra had to step out for a little bit, but
she's going to be joining us a little bit later
in the episode.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Today we're talking about health, which I know.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
That you have so much to say and unfortunately so
much experience with lately.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Yeah, but we're also going to talk more specifically about health,
women's health and women of a certain age. And you're
both Jackie and Teddy younger than I am, but focused
on of middle age women and what we go through. Yeah,
And it's constantly like that, It is, it is. I've
(01:08):
always been this reaging hypochondriac. So I've been picturing my
demise since I was in my twenties, and I remember
just getting so freaked out because if I had a headache,
I had a brain tumor, and then my wish was
I would pray, please God, let me just have kids first,
(01:28):
Let me just get married first. Now it's like, what
about the kids, Like I can't and I don't. We're
not going to get too morbid. But you know, in
terms of health issues, I think that it's so scary
when you get to our age.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
Yeah, I mean, I would say the biggest and I've
talked about this before, but I'm hoping that it'll reach
additional people. If you are listening to this right now
and you currently do not have life insurance and you
have not done your last will and Testament and your
trusts or whatever it is that you need to have
in place, do it now, because it's something I had
(02:03):
not done prior to all of my skin cancer diagnosis
and now I cannot get life insurance.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Yeah. Wow, I didn't know that.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Yeah that was testing.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Wow, that's terrible.
Speaker 5 (02:18):
Yeah, So before you have you know, like I never
really thought about it, like I was like I don't know.
I mean like me and Edwin know where the kids,
like my sister, you know, like we've talked about that
kind of stuff. But once it started getting more real,
I was like, oh my gosh, I need to have
like life insurance. And I went through the whole process.
You have to go through multiple different channels to then
(02:39):
get like an email you're rejected.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
I can't believe that.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Wow, that's awful.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Wait, Teddy, how old are you I am? I love that.
Speaker 5 (02:46):
I was about to answer thirty six because like for life,
that's how old I am.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
I'm forty two years old. So forty two years old?
Speaker 1 (02:53):
And are you your cancer free? Now?
Speaker 5 (02:56):
I'm currently cancer free.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
I know.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
Such good news.
Speaker 5 (03:02):
It's one of those things that I do need to
continue to get checked every three months. I think I was.
I ended up having over fourteen. On December twenty sixth
I had a huge surgery that's essentially my whole back
where they they essentially cut out the entire hole of
like my shoulder and then pulled my excess skin over
(03:25):
my shoulder and now there's like kind of like a
shark bite surgery. My shirts news did an incredible job,
but all of that could have been avoided had I
not like I'm an anxious OCD diagnosed. I'm not self diagnosing,
but like I am, and mine is not surrounding like
I don't.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
I'm not like where you said, Jen, that you.
Speaker 5 (03:46):
Like make up in your head, Yeah, those things like
I'm one of those people that avoids going to the
doctor because I want to pretend I'm always okay.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Wow, okay. So I want to ask a little bit
of an uncomfortable question. And like the first time that
you went in and they told you that you had cancer,
Like what hearing those words?
Speaker 3 (04:06):
What was that like for you?
Speaker 5 (04:08):
Well, the first time I went in, truthfully, I didn't
think it was a big deal. I didn't really know
anybody that had skin cancer. I didn't know anyone that
in my mind that was just something you cut out
and you get right.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
I would feel the next right. That's like, I do
know plenty of people that have had skin cancer, and
it's not you think of it like I get moved
orgery or whatever and never think of Yah.
Speaker 5 (04:34):
So I had had these spots on my back for
for a long time, ever since I was a child, essentially,
and they would just change colors from like white to
frecklely to red.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
People think skin cancer.
Speaker 5 (04:44):
You think it looks like a standard mole for me,
And I never did my first one. I went to
a dermatologist. I hadn't gotten to the oncologist point yet,
and the dermatologist said, this spot looks a little funny.
Do you want me to biopsy or just cut it out?
It's small enough that I could just cut it out
right now. I know you don't want to come back.
(05:06):
And I was like, oh, cut it out. She's like,
it might not look great. I'm like, don't care, cut
it out, send the whole thing in. Let's you know whatever.
And then that one, you know, turned into thirteen more so,
it really the first one I didn't think was ever
going to really turn into another one. And then it
was the constant cycle for someone like me who likes
(05:26):
to control everything, the constant cycle of the unknowns, and
then going to that place of what if I don't
make it, what if I do die? And then like
the things in my head that I would really go through,
like it was like I had real conversations with Edwin
where I was like, honey, I want to talk about
who you're going to marry when I die.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
And I she would like to pick her, I'd like
to pick them to my children, Like I.
Speaker 5 (05:51):
Really want to go through this because I don't trust
your picker, like you went through a lot before you
got to me, and like I'm still not even the best.
Let's really narrowed down, like my non negotiables for what
I want. And I even told my best girlfriends the same.
I'm like, guys, if I don't make it, please do
not let edwin. I don't mind if the girl's prettier
(06:12):
than me, but she needs to be funny, a good mom,
be supportive, show up to my kids' sporting events, like
she needs.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
To be with it.
Speaker 5 (06:19):
Yeah, and if she can't be with it, I'm not
interested and she has to know. It sounds crazy, but
like one of the jokes we got when I was
on the show is people said what do you love
most about Teddy and he said that she's organized, and
everyone was like, oh, grow, but he is the most
unorganized human in the world.
Speaker 4 (06:37):
So like, you need that yin and yang, I think
in a relationship.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
So I've heard that that Kyle Richards was actually the
one who spotted the first like street cooking, spot.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
That's that's insane.
Speaker 5 (06:49):
Tell us, Well, we were on a run and I thought,
you know, I guess. I mean, this was after I'd
already gotten fired, so she'd she'd seen the back of
my You know, we've been working out together since I
got hired on the show, and I would always wear
just like a sports for our tank top or whatever.
But my shoulders were always exposed, so people always saw it. Plus,
you know, like all those dresses that we wear, you
(07:10):
kind of always show it. I was always in the sun,
and you know, it wasn't the world's best about putting
sunscreen on. And something that I learned, just to go
back on it for a second, is people constantly ask me,
you know, what sunscreen should we use? What?
Speaker 4 (07:25):
And what my like board This is key board certified
dermatologists told me was the best sunscreen that you can
use is the one you.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
Will actually put on?
Speaker 5 (07:36):
Yeah, Because if I don't you feel if this, Yeah,
if the sunscreen feels lucky on you, or you don't
like it, or you don't enjoy putting it on, you're
not going to reapply it and you're not going to
you know, so find one that.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
You like to use.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
This use spray. It's just easier. Sometimes I use spray.
Speaker 5 (07:53):
I mean, I'm always using different things because you know,
with that, I have like textural stuff, so I don't
like the way it feels on my hands blah blah blah.
But so either way, I was on a run with Kyle.
I was in a sports raw and she was like, Teddy,
that spot on your back.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
It doesn't look good.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
And I had gone years, probably like ten years before
to a dermatologist to get it checked, and they said
it looked like dermat dermatitis, like sometimes after you have
kids you get dermatitis like whatever it was. And they
gave me like a steroid cream and a shrunk and
I just ignored.
Speaker 4 (08:25):
It since then.
Speaker 5 (08:26):
But yeah, so at that moment, she goes, I'm gonna
call my dermatologist right now. So she called her, and
on our run we ran.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
To the dermatologist's office. And that was the first time I.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
Went to wow, did you like have When if anybody
ever says these like, I remember if I'm getting like
my hair washed and like I've had my haird a
kind of look kind of move my hair and look
at and I'm like, what the fuck, Like, did you
have that sinking feeling when she when Kyle sort of
picked up on it.
Speaker 5 (08:58):
No, I mean, but it was those things that like
my husband had told me probably a thousand times to
go get checked. But it's like something about just in
that moment, I was like, you know, I'm such a
know at all, but like I was like, Okay, you're right,
I should go. And then when that first spot came,
and then the beauty of I think sharing vulnerability is
(09:19):
normally in my life, I'm one of those people that
don't tell people what I need. I'll more just like
pull back and maybe go into like a state of
like depression or anxiety or whatever it may be, because
I don't ever want to get the feeling of being
rejected or somebody telling me they can't do something, so
I just don't ask for help. But with this entire journey,
I really opened up to my family and my friends
(09:41):
and essentially people on Instagram too, but and just shared
what I was going through and it gave me so
much peace because I didn't feel like I was carrying
it alone.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
I love that. I love that What about your kids
were you able to did they know any better to
have this?
Speaker 5 (09:57):
You know, I've always been, not that this is a compare,
but people are like, how could you be scared of
a doctor, but you went and got a neck lift.
I'm like, because that was I chose to two hundred percent,
I'll im in trolassic surgery seven.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Days a week. I told, well, yeah, well yeah, like yes,
so I will.
Speaker 5 (10:14):
I had always you know, and I wasn't one of
those moms that like didn't tell my kids that I
got a necklift, Like I was like, I have, this
has been something that's bothered me in my entire.
Speaker 4 (10:22):
Life, blah blah blah.
Speaker 5 (10:23):
So like they had known about surgeries prior because of that,
and Slay was always kind of like my nurse, Like
she would come in and be like, oh, is there
a stitch?
Speaker 3 (10:32):
Can I get that?
Speaker 4 (10:33):
You know, like she'd clean everything.
Speaker 5 (10:35):
So I just kind of kept the open conversation here
and made it more of like, guys, first and foremost,
I want to tell you that if in these next
couple of months, why we're figuring this all out, if
I'm not in the best mood, it's not about you.
It's not because I'm mad at you, it's not because
(10:55):
you're doing something wrong. It's because I am struggling. It
doesn't mean that I'm not going to get better, but
I don't want you to take that on. But also,
do you guys want me to tell you as everything happens?
And they were like, yes, please tell us, like and
they all have different responses, like Dove's always asking like
can I have a band aid? Because I want to
be like mommy, I want to have a boo bloo,
(11:16):
you know, like and Cruise is more of like the
cuddler the lever, and Slate is like the caregiver, you know,
she really goes.
Speaker 4 (11:24):
Out of her way.
Speaker 5 (11:25):
And I think the only times that it was hard
is like post surgery, Like once I would think that
I was coming out of it and then I'd get
another hit and then my emotions didn't know how to
handle like that.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
So was this is this genetic?
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Or is this fri I know you said you had
them since you were a child, but did they get
worse with sun exposure or or was this bound to happen?
Speaker 5 (11:48):
Yeah, I mean I think they don't actually know. I mean,
I like winning things. But when my oncologists told me
that I have the most amount of melanomas they'd ever
seen at our hospital, It wasn't.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
Something that I wanted to do, and I was like, Okay,
we're going.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
To congratulate you on that. There'll be no prizes for that.
Speaker 5 (12:05):
Yeah, but no, I mean, I now, after the fact,
I did learn that there's something called Castle Sciences that
I wish I would have done at my first mole
or my first skin cancer.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
But what they do is they take.
Speaker 5 (12:19):
Your biopsy and after they diagnose you know what stage
you are, then you can send it to Castle Sciences
and then it can tell you your chances of getting
more and it's spreading because that would have been key
information for me to have because then I could have
I could have gone one way or the other. But
at least then I would have known these are going
(12:39):
to keep coming up. But yes, I had tons of
sun exposure growing up.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
I put bayboil on. I did these things. Is that
the cause of it? I have no idea. I also
was in a tanning bed when I was younger, but
something that was I mean.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
The wedding, forget it. So how's your shoulder now? Was
that a painful recovery? I imagine stretching the skin like that.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
I mean, I'll give you guys a little. I'll give
you a viewing. It's not this isn't for our only
fans page.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Guys.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
I remember seeing it at it's a lot teddy looks.
So that does not look like it was easy. No,
I'm sorry, but I love how you're still backless and
you're still sometimes right without like you wear it with
your ride.
Speaker 5 (13:31):
Yeah, I mean I don't. Definitely, like people are like,
what do you want to would you want to go?
And I'm like no, for me, like all the shitty
things that I've done in my life, at least I can.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
Feel like I'm helping people in this regard that.
Speaker 5 (13:43):
Like people are saying, yeah, I went to go get
check because it can be a bigger deal. We think
in our head, you know, the two big things with
skin cancer is one it's not a big deal, or
two you caused this yourself.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Yeah, And so I think there's that guilt that it's.
Speaker 5 (13:59):
Kind of and I remember feeling that same guilt when
I couldn't get pregnant naturally the first time.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
That's same, like sh I'm wrong.
Speaker 4 (14:08):
People would say, well, maybe you're too stressed or maybe
you're this, and then it became that guilt again, and
I'm like, why am I punishing myself for something that's
completely out of my control?
Speaker 3 (14:17):
At this point, I hate when people say, like I've
been gone through, like we all have very stressful times
and people say, you have to relax, You're gonna give
yourself cancer. That's how I'm like, So now you think
that helps me to relax. So now I think I'm stressed,
that I'm stressed.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
But I don't think that's cancer. It doesn't come from stress.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
They say it they well, listen, people have to say
of it. They say it all the time. Yeah, like
or they'll I've had people say, you know, she whatever
one of my friends. Some Yeah, I've had a couple
of friends got cancer and they say, well, she was
in like the hardest time in her life and she
was so stressed. I personally like to believe that one
does not affect the other, but a lot of people
disagree with me.
Speaker 5 (14:56):
Wow, well, I mean, I can't even remember what franchise
on of housewives, but somebody said, like, you like said
it public.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
Yeah, because I remember that she.
Speaker 5 (15:05):
Got cancer something along those I remember that, I can't
totally remember that it was. And the person ended up
having to like release a statement saying like you know
that I didn't mean it like that, And I think
that's also we say things in just sometimes you know,
I mean, we even saw it. I know you guys
talk about this often, but like I even saw it.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
Who was it?
Speaker 5 (15:28):
Maybe it was Barbara streisand commented on the ozempic thing publicly.
She didn't realize it, But like sometimes we say things
and we don't realize what the magnitude their impact will
mean from that, you know, I have a.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
Question, Teddy, after now that it's gone forever, we're gonna
go with it's gone forever, how has it changed you?
And guys, I'm gonna I think that like it wouldn't.
It's not just skin cancer, right, I would think, and
I haven't had cancer, but that it just changes you.
Whatever it is, has it well?
Speaker 5 (16:00):
I would say one regardless of if it's skin cancer,
whatever kind of cancer it may be, is you need
to get all of your checks. It doesn't mean you
just need to go to the dermatologists. You also need
to go to the gaynocologist. You need to get your
eyes checked. It can be glaucoma. You need to get
like every your colonoscopy's like all of those things, just
do it, book them, like do it once and just
(16:22):
like book out two days and make that a priority.
But how it has changed me is I've really shifted
my focus on things that I really love to do.
You know, A big part of my self worth has
always been, you know, like, am I going to be approved?
Like I was always like searching for that you know,
outside approval, whether that started with my parents or whatever
(16:45):
may happen. So I've always been a really hard worker,
but I wasn't really thinking about what do I love doing?
And now I really focus on it. I'm back to
riding horses a lot. I invest my money like the
like I'm tight with my money, but like with that
kind of stuff, I'm like, this is something my daughter
and I love doing, and I'm going to invest in
that because this is about enjoying my life that I've created.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
I love that. Can we transition to mental health for
a few minutes.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
Yeah, of course, did you? So?
Speaker 2 (17:12):
You said that you struggle with anxiety, which I do too,
and I do too. We talked a lot together about
mental health, but we don't talk about it on here yet.
I'm curious if you feel like being on the show
you were three years full time?
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Right? Yes? How was that for your mental health?
Speaker 5 (17:35):
The being on the show was fine, Like, it wasn't
necessarily like being on the show. I had some of
my you know, I just saw Renna and Kyle and
Erica and it was like no time had passed and
we laughed and we enjoyed it and like we can
talk about the good times because just like anything in life,
you kind of like block out the bad times and
remember the good It's like going back to that ex
(17:57):
boyfriend after you know you shouldn't like it's still like
you're like you forget the parts that weren't great. I
didn't love being pregnant and filming because I didn't feel
as engaged.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
I guess, of course, like I've I was.
Speaker 4 (18:11):
Somebody that drank on the show.
Speaker 5 (18:14):
I mean, I'm a person that I don't I don't
need to drink to live, but if I'm going to
go out to a birthday party, I'm going to have
a couple of drinks.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
Yeah, Like it loosens me up.
Speaker 5 (18:23):
So not being able to do that my last year
and then having it be a really heavy season that
was difficult.
Speaker 4 (18:31):
But I wouldn't say that was being on the show.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Well, the only reason I ask is because it's actually
been fine for both of us as far as I know.
But I have seen people whose mental health was shaky
completely spiral.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Well, I mean also I think, yes, I think, well,
I think the show has affected my mental health. If
mental health means anxiety, I mean anxiety levels have definitely
they've gotten higher. Doesn't mean I'm not you know, I'm
okay to function and I'm still having fun. But anyway,
I think also I'm interested in mental health when you
were younger because I have had mental health issues since
(19:07):
my twenties and they've certainly changed forms and I handle
it way better now than I did when I was younger. Oh,
here's camera, Hi, Tam.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Hi Camra.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
We were talking about health, and we talked all about
Teddy's skin cancer journey and we were just delving a
little bit into mental health.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
But like, also how different it is because we're trying
to We're try you know, you guys obviously you are
producers of our show, so you know, we don't really
do talk a lot about housewives, but we do talk
a lot about women of a certain age. And you guys,
your spread is Tam, how old. I mean I think
you're younger than me.
Speaker 6 (19:46):
Maybe, Yeah, I think I'm older.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
I'm fifty six, I'm fifty five, same idea. Yeah, but
what happens between, like, for instance, Jackie's age forty seven
and fifty five and Teddy you're even younger. But as
your me mental health, because mine has definitely changed. I
handle my mental health issues way better now. But you know,
as we're going through these different stages of our life,
(20:09):
what is affecting you in terms of mental health?
Speaker 4 (20:13):
Well, I think people talk about mental health now.
Speaker 5 (20:16):
I when we were younger, it was something to be
ashamed of, or that like that one crazy person over
there had that, so you couldn't ever have that, you know,
or it was these where now it's so spoken about.
I think, even especially post COVID because all of our kids'
mental health was starting to be affected from not being
(20:36):
able to go to.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
School and all this, Like we are all more comfortable.
Speaker 5 (20:40):
Speaking about it now, So I think that really sheds
so much more light on the discussion around mental health.
Speaker 4 (20:47):
But yeah, I mean, you you go on to CHAM but.
Speaker 6 (20:50):
I think for me, it's just getting older in experience
and things I've gone through before. I had a really
hard time just dealing with things, just dealing with anything.
And now I've just learned that, you know, everything passes,
Everything passes, So whatever I'm so stressed out over and
I'm I'm just in my head. I'm like, okay, give
(21:11):
it up to God, Like God take over. I'm going
to be okay. I am always okay. It's going to
be okay. And it's just a process of just talking
yourself yourself through.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
My therapist always says to me, she's like Jackie, slowed
down and let life unfold. And I always remind myself
of that because I don't. I'm always anxious about what's
coming next, if nothing's coming next, or how to make
things happen, and like, I always have to remind myself
to slow down a little.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
I mean I discovered prozac later in life, so that
has certainly helped. Yeah, I was.
Speaker 5 (21:41):
Gonna say, Zoloft has really taken things to the better
place for me.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
Yeah, I mean I remember I went that route.
Speaker 6 (21:47):
Yeah, I went that route when I was younger.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
I was younger, i'd gotten off of it, and yeah,
I've been.
Speaker 6 (21:52):
On it in years, but I've had children that I've
had to put on many too for me too, anxiety
and stuff inciting.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
Yeah, I mean I'm a big fan. Not everyone agrees
with that, but I'm a big fan of SSRIs, not
necessarily like the ones what are they called, like the
Xanax and the although at times when it's I've had
bad anxiety, I use those two. But like SSRIs, I
I always say to people that are hesitant, you're still you.
You know, it doesn't change your personality. It doesn't change
(22:21):
at least for me, it doesn't change my E.
Speaker 6 (22:22):
Well, I think it's different for everybody.
Speaker 5 (22:25):
I think.
Speaker 6 (22:26):
I don't think everybody can. Like I had one child
that gained twenty pounds and was staring at the wall.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
So fair, It's like.
Speaker 6 (22:34):
Yeah, that one, maybe another one might have worked who
We ended up leaning her off of it and just
got her into working out, and she's gotten older.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
It's very better, right right, Well, talk to us a
little bit tammer about health issues. I mean that's the
topic today. It's kind of heavy.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
But you had your own melanomas, correct, Yeah, I had melanoma.
Speaker 6 (22:54):
I've had multiple skin cancers. I've had everyone you can
think of. And then I was getting a miss during
a filming and in Iceland, and this MASSU said you
should check that little dot on your butt. I'm like, okay.
And I was going to my normal dermatology appointments and
she's as I was walking out the door is all done.
(23:16):
I go, oh, you know what, can you look at this?
And she goes, oh my god, why didn't you show
me this before? And I go, I totally forgot. It
had been months. She goes me, buy upstate, Buy upstate.
It was stage one melanoma.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
Wow, it sucks. And we're talking to Teddy just about
how that has affected you. I mean, I'm obviously I'm
sure your heart sank when you heard that.
Speaker 6 (23:39):
Oh yeah, it's a scary, scary, scary feeling because I
was so used to having things burn off of me,
cut off of me because I'm just I'm irish, I'm
white and freckly, and all the damage I did to
my skin in my twenties and thirties. You know, the
tanning beds. I used to work for a tanning salong
salon out of high school, so I would bake in
those tanning beds, right, And now the dermatologist is like,
(24:02):
this is what I'm seeing. You know, women in their
forties and fifties that did this in the eighties and
nineties now have multiple skin cancers.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Yeah. And ps, my twenty one year old kids soon
to be twenty two is still doing it and we
fight about it. It doesn't matter. I mean, she's she
doesn't give a shit, you know, she's.
Speaker 6 (24:19):
It needs to be out lawed.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
I know I can't. I mean, either Tanny beds or
just she just bakes in the sun. And she always
I say to her the first day, at least put
on sunscreen. No, she has a Listen, she burns and
she peels. I'm like, Rachel, you're gonna regret this, dude.
She's not good, not God forbid skin cancer. But even
just you know, esthetically.
Speaker 6 (24:39):
Just premature aging and rankling and all that that comes
from from the sun. Like my daughter will not even
go in the sun while she actually has like a
little allergic reaction to the sun, so if she goes
in she breaks out in a rash.
Speaker 5 (24:52):
But also it's the products our kids are using, like
the fact that we have like ten year olds that
want like drunk elephant with anti aging blah blah blah,
like they go you can't even go to a Sephora
on Saturday with like every like pro's purchase for them.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
My daughter's obsessed to thirteen. Oh it's bad for them.
Speaker 4 (25:13):
Yeah, because think about it.
Speaker 5 (25:14):
If you're using products on your on your skin that
you don't need yet, you're creating your body to get
used to something. I'm not a doctor, but like I've
gone down the talk rabbit hole, right, like you're creating
TikTok you.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
Know you're Yeah, I'm a TikTok doctor.
Speaker 5 (25:29):
So like I I have to tell Slate, like, no,
I'm going to look through the back and see, like,
what are the things inside of here that like are
absolutely unnecessary for an eleven year old?
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Right? Can you imagine drunk elephant at eleven?
Speaker 1 (25:43):
I mean, my daughter's got more products than I have thirteen.
They're all over the place.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
The kids are like in my way at support. It's annoying.
Speaker 6 (25:50):
Way, what is drunk elephants?
Speaker 3 (25:52):
It's like camera. I mean I love it.
Speaker 4 (25:57):
I have it on today. At least you see this glow.
Speaker 6 (26:00):
Face, right, Yeah, Okay, I'm gonna google it.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
Yeah yeah, it's I need it too.
Speaker 6 (26:04):
Can I get on Amazon?
Speaker 5 (26:06):
Well? The packaging is really enticing to children, especially, and
they all do their like get ready with me, and
they're you know, that's.
Speaker 4 (26:14):
Also the thing for mental health.
Speaker 5 (26:17):
Social media, Like I had to download this app called
q Q Studio where I can track how long my
kids are on each thing. So like I'm like, what
are you doing at not like your phone supposed to
be outside of your room. Why can I see that
you were on Amazon or you were playing Roadblocks or
Fortnite or whatever at ten thirty after.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
We said good night?
Speaker 5 (26:38):
You know, like we have to be aware because our
parents weren't. I mean, we're not gonna be able to
micromanage everything. I mean, heck like.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
We' I mean, yes, a for effort, but no, you can't.
Have you had other health issues?
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Yeah, te had you struggled with intestinal obstruction.
Speaker 6 (27:02):
Right, Yeah, I still struggle with intestinal issues. I've had
intestinal issues my entire life. They I had go on
medication for a while. I mean when I was with Simon,
I don't think my stress helped it, but I had
severe irritable bow syndrome, so I could barely pick the
kids up from school. I knew where every bathroom was
from here to the mall, which the mall is only
(27:23):
two miles from my house.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
So that means you always have to go to the
bathroom where you never go away. I can.
Speaker 6 (27:30):
I would drink even to this day, like, I mean,
this is disgusting, but I I pooped like probably seven times.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
I'm so jealous.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
I'm actually no, you're not jealous. I'm jealous.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
I'm not jealous of an illness of you know, yeah, direction.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
I'm on lindsay.
Speaker 6 (27:47):
I had abdominal surgery ten or eleven years ago. I
had a strangulated hernia. So I had a hernia. I
hate al hernia. There was beach my ribcage. I didn't
know it, and my intestines had grown through the my
stomach wall and were dying.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
Oh my god.
Speaker 6 (28:06):
I would get this really really bad pain. And it
was going on for quite a few months, and then
my stomach bloat really big. And then one day and
I was going to see a doctor and they couldn't
figure it out. I was having MRIs done at the
hospital everything, and then one day I was sitting at
home and it started and I said, okay, here it
goes here it goes like, get the toms out. I'm
doing everything, and this time it was beyond I called
(28:26):
Terry de brow. I go, Terry, it's happening. He goes,
get to the hospital now, so I called. I had
to call nine one one. The hospital is literally two
miles from my house Mission hospital, and by the I
had to have like three shots of morphine by the
time I got there.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
Wow, and wow they had.
Speaker 6 (28:42):
They did emergency surgery. They cut open my stomach vertically
and they had to like dissect my intestines off my stomach.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
Wall wow wow.
Speaker 6 (28:52):
But while they were doing that, they found that part
of my intestines were torn, and they think that that's
what was causing me all the stomach problems. So it
was kind of a blessing. And then then I was
I mean, it was horrible recovery. Horrible recovery.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
Now I think we have to rap soon. But how
are you doing today? Like health wise me?
Speaker 6 (29:11):
I mine, I have to keep on top of it.
My intestines. I always have to get scoping done. My
grandmother died of intestinal problems, so I mean it's really scary.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
Like ladies and gentlemen, welcome to aging. Yeah, not easy
and not easy.
Speaker 6 (29:24):
I just yeah, So I was when I was doing Traders,
I got severely sick and they put me on a
very strong antibiotic to get me through it. Will it
cause intestinal inflammation in my intestines. So by the time
I got home from Traders, I was in the hospital
for three days down my Yeah, I'm so. I always
joke with my mom, I've had more health issues in
my mom house.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
No one would know that we're watching you on I mean,
I know, I think you shared some stuff on Housewives,
But how do you guys feel in terms of like,
I at least and again, I'm a horrible hypochondriac, so
at any on any given day, death is knocking. But
some times the only two part you too, totally too
really well, the only good part of that is that
(30:06):
when I go, because I do, I'm at the doctor
every other day, and when I find out that I
am okay, I feel like I have different perspective, like,
oh wait a second. You know, whatever happened yesterday on
social media is not quite as important, right, And I
don't know, I mean, it doesn't always last. But this
(30:27):
kind of stuff, I don't think. There's certainly nothing good
about cancer, you know, or having intestinal problems or any
kind of illness, but sometimes it does give you perspective.
I mean, here about that a little. I mean, Tom,
I don't know if you felt like if you kind
of feel like that.
Speaker 6 (30:40):
I'm so petrified of cancer. I had a premio vos
kan recently. Well it's been a year. I'm going back
for a recheck, and they found like four spots on me.
Two of them were one is a pre cancer a
spot on my pancreas. Oh, come on, that's something you
just don't want tok around with. And it's it's very
very small. So I'm going back to get rechecked. And
(31:01):
stupid me, I haven't even in a year, haven't been
to the doctor to.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
Even Yeah, Tim, that's that is stupid. I can't take
that away from you. That is just stupid. Total yep yep,
teddy make But.
Speaker 6 (31:13):
They told they told me it was very very small.
It was like point four million meters.
Speaker 4 (31:18):
But that's why I said, have you gone for your
follow up?
Speaker 6 (31:20):
I'm going, yeah, next week, I'm going for a follow up.
Speaker 4 (31:24):
But yeah, I mean I think there's that.
Speaker 5 (31:26):
And I think also as women, we have so many
hormonal issues that come and go, and like for me example,
I remember being like put on birth control when I
was like fifteen years you know, like it was like
something you did. You like went to your first appointment,
you got put on birth control, and then like I
stayed on that forever and it wasn't probably the right
one for me, or my body changed or like still
(31:48):
the same things. It's just more when it comes to
your health, no matter what it is, hormones, cancer, intestinal issue,
you have to be an advocate for your own health
because you bought.
Speaker 6 (31:59):
Like I can diagnose you Teddy right now, what you
are a bundle of nerves and stress constantly. I am too,
not as bad as you. You have high anxiety. When
you have all that, it hurts you.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
We were talking about that earlier.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
We are just just thinking about that.
Speaker 5 (32:17):
But when people say that to you, it hurts you too, because.
Speaker 3 (32:22):
What am I going to do?
Speaker 6 (32:23):
But what did I tell you have to get your
cancer diagnosed? I said, you have to find a way
of processing shit. And then you know you now you
are really into horses again, So I think that that's
a good outlet. You don't you don't have time. I
know for me because I'm a worrier that if I'm
not busy, my mind is very destructive.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
Yeah, yeah, so.
Speaker 4 (32:44):
Please sense he kills my joy, Yes for sure.
Speaker 6 (32:47):
Yeah, and I know and you worry way more than
I do.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
Yeah, yeah, I think there's like a moral to the story.
One of them today is that like, as scary as
it is, especially I think as you're getting older, go
to the frickin' doctor. Like like Teddy, you were saying
that too, right, like get and I don't enjoy it.
There's there's a day with a mammogram is like not
a good day, and but you know, I do it.
(33:12):
It's my friend. I had one of my best friends, Denise,
died of ovarian cancer, and she would say to us
all the time, like because she went for a year,
she didn't feel well and it didn't get diagnosed, and
they would say to her at one point they thought
she should go on antidepressants and she was just so
tired all the time. But she would let it go.
(33:34):
But she said, like towards the end, especially, but she
would tell us the people that she loved, you got
to listen to your body.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
And Teddy, I love your idea of just taking two
days and making all your appointments and just dedicating those
two days to it.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
I love that.
Speaker 5 (33:50):
I mean I think that that And then also knowing,
like for me, because I am such like a stressed person,
like I will go, go, go, go go, But then
I finally gotten too the place of my life where
I also will give myself permission to crash, and like
It'll be a random like Monday or something, and I'll
be like, you know, I just always think that. Like
I'll even have to say to Edwin, even though he
(34:11):
wouldn't judge me, I have to be like, listen, I've
been working NonStop and then I had the weekend horse
show with the kids and blah blah, and I just
I'm gonna sit here and watch like women who kill
on blah blah blah and zone out.
Speaker 4 (34:23):
And he's like, you do you bo?
Speaker 5 (34:25):
You know, like, but sometimes you need that to just decpress.
Speaker 4 (34:29):
I mean, some people murder doesn't relax them, but it
relaxes me.
Speaker 3 (34:32):
Well, you also have little kids. It's harder to take
that time. I mean, I take that time every day
I crash, you know, but little kids, it's like you're
kind of screwed.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Yeah, well, I love this conversation.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
I think it was really like in lightning and I'm
sorry for all you guys have gone through.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
But it looks like you come out the other side stronger.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
I have to say that, like, like the idea of
people getting to know this, I don't know how much.
I mean, I've watched, I've been a fan for years
and years, but like how much people get to see
you as people not just housewives? Know and like the
struggles real.
Speaker 6 (35:03):
That's a good thing about our podcast that people do
see us in a different light.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
Yeah, yeah, just.
Speaker 6 (35:08):
Screaming, not just screaming lunatics on reality show.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
This to you guys for coming on. We love being
a part of your team too.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
Yeah, we do.
Speaker 5 (35:19):
We appreciate it really proud of you, guys, and we're
excited to see where the rest of the season goes.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
Yeah, you guys look thrilled. Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
All right, Well, thank you guys for listening.
Speaker 3 (35:32):
We are two Jersey Jays. Thank you, Tammer and Teddy.
What a pleasure, what an honor. Bye guys, Bye guys.
Speaker 6 (35:38):
Thank you guys.
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