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April 18, 2024 41 mins

Teddi and Emily are recapping the 5th episode of The Valley!

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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hi, guys, this is Teddy Mellencamp and I'm joined by
my friend Emily Simpson for our new spin off show
Popping Off, where we are digging deep on this season
of vander Pump Rules. Hi guys, welcome to another episode
of Popping Off with myself, Teddy Mellencamp and.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
And Emily Simpson. Thanks for joining us. I'm hooked on
the Valley. I'm just going to say it. You know,
I am too, and I don't. I don't you know,
I don't watch reality TV, but I do like the Valley.
I do. It's very I like that it's couples. I
think that was smart, and I like that every couple
is unique and different. It adds a lot of layers

and dynamics to the show.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
Yeah, I agree. And on that note, we have to
make an announcement. We threw in the towel on vander Pumphilla.
We're not doing it enough. Tae arm Sean would say,
we're not.

Speaker 2 (00:53):
We can't. We cannot recap it. No, we can.

Speaker 1 (00:56):
To be honest, I cannot even continue watching it even
I have my boundaries when it comes to making money,
and she doesn't have a lot of boundaries. So if
we put one out there, that's it, and that's no
shade to Lisa vander Pump. It's just not like the
Valley and Vanner Pump rules.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
We're good. Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
This episode starts with the girls taking a trip to Malibu.
Can we talk a little bit about leading up to
maled Boo, the tension between Brittany and Jack's and how
he keeps bringing up her drinking habits.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
Yeah, you know when they showed those flashbacks where he
consistently makes the rude comments to her. You know, I
don't know how much is editing because I know, like
the first couple of seasons with Shane, they did a
really good job of only showing him being a dick,
even though he can be a dick, but he also
has another side. So I don't know if Jackson is
just always on her case all the time or if

they're just only showing him being on her case all
the time, because I just I mean, knowing that they're
separated now, you know, But.

Speaker 1 (02:05):
Also like yes, sober coach Jack's commenting on somebody else's
substance intake, It's like, yeah, tell me more, really, I yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
And I feel like he puts an emphasis on, like, well,
she's a mom, but it's like, but you're a dad,
so like a mom is supposed to act a certain way,
but a dad doesn't have to. And it's fine for
a dad to drink in the pool and eat Hamburgers
with flies all over it, but it's not okay. But
Brittany will take care of him. That's what he said.
She'll take care of him.

Speaker 1 (02:35):
So but like they even the flashback to I guess
the last time Brittany came home like hungover, and you
can tell she's like walking outside. I think she's like
about to get in the pool or something, and just
his face is like one of pure.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
Repulse, like yeah, yeah, I know. It's like he's like disgusted.

Speaker 1 (02:55):
Like I mean, I'm not going to pretend that I
would assume Shane is probably the same way, Like if
there's going to be a I mean, Shane doesn't drink
at all.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
Edwin doesn't drink very often.

Speaker 1 (03:04):
So if I am overserved, there are times where I
don't think Edwin's looking at me with like the most
loving eyes unless he's about to get to have to
have sex. Then he's excited and he's fine with me
being overserved. But there are times where he's like, come on,
like it's enough. Yeah, he's not also acting the same

way I'm acting, right, But.

Speaker 2 (03:30):
Does he look at you with disgust? No, but he'll
be like it's time to go. Yeah, Shane's like that too.
I mean, Shane's like the voice of reason when I
have too much tequila, you know, like time to go home,
time for you to go to bed, time to take
a nappy, time for shut up.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
But something else Edwin likes to do when I drink
too much is the next day, he likes to recap
all the things.

Speaker 2 (03:54):
Does he take video because Shane's took the last time
I got really sick on tequila and I threw up,
he took videos of it.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
No, thank god, he's not done.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
But now I had to have the car all over
to the side of the road and I threw up
on the side of the road, and he got out
of the car and just videotape the entire thing.

Speaker 1 (04:13):
But did you put it in a bag and then
bring it home and leave it in your driveway like
Brettany did. No.

Speaker 2 (04:17):
I just puked in the street and it just you know,
ran down into a gutter. Can I have.

Speaker 1 (04:22):
Shane's number so I can get the video. Absolutely not, no,
I don't. Will just be like all I already wake
up with anxiety whenever the next day is like, no matter.
I'm not a thrower upper. I don't tend to be
one that throws up. Unfortunately, it would probably help my
case if I did. But he'll be like, I'll wake

up and be like, I have anxiety. Everything was fine
last night, right, And he'll be like, well you did
say or maybe you hurt so and so was feelings
And I'm like, no, just say it was fine, because
then I have to like go do recon and like
check in with everybody, and everybody else is like you
were fine, and I'm like, why did you make me worry?

Speaker 2 (05:03):
But he never throws your mother in my face. But
I also not doing it with my children. Yeah, I
think that's crossing a line. Well, you're a mother, like
a mother has a certain way they're supposed to behave. Yeah,
I mean mean moms, we do need a night out
every once in a while.

Speaker 1 (05:19):
Well, I mean Edwin did say you're a mother type
comment to me, not about drinking. But Dove's about to
join a new preschool and they have this and it's
like for pre K. So she's leaving preschool going into
pre k and they have their like tuition schedule, and
then it says like, if you're willing to do this
many hours of the baked sale or this money have

to pay, right right. So Edwin on a group text
with our accountant guy that like pays our stuff, is like, well,
that's up to Teddy, And I was like, Haha, you're funny,
Like you're just as capable to host the bake sale
as I. So, no, that's really on YouTube, buddy, Like,

don't like that's on Teddy me.

Speaker 2 (06:06):
Right, you mean like that's not only a mom job,
Like that is a mom and dad job.

Speaker 1 (06:12):
We both have busy job. We both have multiple jobs.
We both are always working and traveling. Like, no, don't
just put that's on Teddy.

Speaker 2 (06:21):
No, that's on us. I just five hours. I don't.
I just know. I just write the check. Also, I'm like,
I can't think of anything worse than doing that many
hours trying to sell candy like or whatever it may be.
I was like, listen, I'm excited for her to go
to the school, but at the end of the day,
it's cheaper just to pay it. Yeah, and other moms

that are probably going to be more liked to sell it. Yeah, no,
I know, haven't they heard about you? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (06:50):
And plus the moms that put like their kids like
girls Scout cookies for sale on their Instagram.

Speaker 2 (06:56):
They get eaten a live like you have all the
money in the world.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
Why wouldn't you just pay for the blah blah blah.

Speaker 2 (07:03):
Like I forgot who did it.

Speaker 1 (07:04):
Maybe it was like Hillary Duff or Jennaa Wann or
like one of those really likable people did one of
those things on their kids. And I just saw the
comments of everyone like that's rich coming from you, and
it's like, you want us to go door to door
selling these candies.

Speaker 2 (07:20):
Okay, get back to the recap mine. This just happened today.
It's fresh for me. Okay, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
Kristin thinks she may be pregnant. Michelle doesn't want Kristin
to be pregnant because they don't Michelle's quote they don't
need more of her around.

Speaker 2 (07:37):
That was so shady. I was like, but yeah, they
need a lot more jesses, right. I was like, Okay,
that was rude, Like you should never reproduce. Also, do
you agree that Kristin is an impath? You know, I
don't feel like I know kris And well enough to

say if she's an impath or not. I mean, they
did the whole flashback glage of her being I don't know,
crazy or fighting or arguing or whatever. But I love
everyone's reaction at the table to her saying she's an EmPATH.
Clearly no one's sitting at that table agreed with her,
but no one said anything. I was waiting for someone
to call her out, but nobody said anything. No, everybody

was just like Yeah. It was just like all the
strange looks and eye rolling, and I was like, is
anyone going to say anything? Okay?

Speaker 1 (08:27):
But I also think there's a difference between being an
EmPATH and somebody that can read the energy of when
somebody's upset at them. Like I think maybe what she
means is she at that moment, probably particularly because I
think half of them more upset with her. Yeah, she
could feel that energy and it makes her nervous.

Speaker 2 (08:49):
So being nervous makes her an EmPATH.

Speaker 1 (08:52):
Well, knowing that people are mad.

Speaker 2 (08:54):
At you being in an awkward situation at a table
made her an EmPATH. But I was there are some people.
I'm sure there's people that you film with that shouldn't
feel awkward in a moment and don't know.

Speaker 1 (09:06):
To feel awkward, probably right, Like there are some people
that are just sit right down like everything's great, and
really it's not so great.

Speaker 2 (09:16):
Yeah, I could think of a few, Yeah, maybe one. Yeah,
I was thinking the same. But then Nia. I really
felt for Nia this episode. Yeah, absolutely, I mean you
could tell that she's in a very difficult space. Did
you ever have postpartum depression?

Speaker 1 (09:37):
I had postpartum anxiety, and which can led to like
some depression, but like kind of even the way that
Shina talks about the planning and that kind of thing,
I would obsess about what my days would be when
I had two little kids, and like how we were
going to fill the days, and if I didn't know

how I was going to fill the day, like I
would says to the point where I'm like, you don't
need to go to forty five things with your kids
every day, like just be And I was really struggling
just being, yeah, and it made other people around me
crazy because I couldn't just be.

Speaker 2 (10:17):
And then but I didn't.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
I don't think I was very emotional in front of
other people, and I probably should have been, because then
maybe I could have.

Speaker 2 (10:25):
Gotten help quicker for it. Yeah. Well, then I guess
you would say it's good that she's talking about it
and opening up. She's talking to her friends about it,
she's talking to her husband about it, and he seems
very empathetic.

Speaker 1 (10:35):
Like I.

Speaker 2 (10:37):
Enjoyed the interaction between the two of them, because even
though Shane is a great husband, I wouldn't say that
he would like wipe tears from my face, you know, right.
He doesn't have that kind of softness to him. I
feel like he would listen and then he'd be like, well,
I hope that works out for you, and then you
would walk away. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (10:54):
I mean, I think Danny realized real quick when he
was like Danny thought he was having a being funny mon.
He's like, what no dinner on the.

Speaker 2 (11:02):
Table for the husband? And then MEA's like and He's like, shit, Okay,
this is not the time for jokes, right.

Speaker 1 (11:11):
And sometimes when you are feeling that way, it's not
the time for jokes, especially from your husband.

Speaker 2 (11:16):
Absolutely, but.

Speaker 1 (11:21):
I don't remember a time where we've really seen somebody
on one of these shows kind of show it in
such a raw way.

Speaker 2 (11:28):
And can we also talk about how pretty she looks
while it's like, while she has, you know, this depression
and she has this postpartum issue and she has three
small children, and her condo looks ramped, and yet she's
like glowing and beautiful. I know, and damn.

Speaker 1 (11:49):
Her, damn her, but also like the amount of pressure
that she's probably putting on herself to be perfect and clearly,
I mean, as great of a husband Danny is. Every
single time Nia is away from Danny, he needs her back,
and he needs her back asap.

Speaker 2 (12:10):
Yeah, okay, so let's talk about that. So when he
was texting and what did the air conditioning have to
do with it? Just because it was hot? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (12:18):
I mean, I guess the guys are all at the barbecue.
They find out Danny can't come because as Ac went out.

Speaker 2 (12:24):
But why would if you're acy is out, why wouldn't
you want to leave? Why would you want to stay there? Well,
I'm guessing this is just a complete guess. I have
no idea.

Speaker 1 (12:34):
My guess is that he didn't have childcare at that
point in time, and I would imagine it would be
quite difficult for him to leave the house with three
with the twins so I think are two months old
and and a child under two to go hang out
at Jackson's house.

Speaker 2 (12:49):
I get that. I guess maybe that would have been
the excuse as opposed to my air conditioning doesn't work.
I thought maybe he was waiting on like a repair
man or something to fix the air conditioning. And the
air conditioning continues not to work because then he reaches
out to her while she's in Malibu having a girl's night,
and then he asked her to come home. And did
she leave in the middle of the night, Like how

late was it? That's what I mean.

Speaker 1 (13:11):
Want to know she left before they all appeared to
get pretty hammered and do the.

Speaker 2 (13:16):
Dancing like dark out right, like they all have pajamas on.
I know.

Speaker 1 (13:21):
I wonder if the plan was always for her to
leave before bedtime, like before they went to sleep, and
just let the other girls sleep there. But clearly, I mean,
none of them really wanted to sleep there that bad.
Like Kristen got up at six am. She had left
so quickly she left her wallet, her phone, on all
her belongings. I was like, is she on the run?

Speaker 2 (13:51):
Okay? So the guys are having a barbecue at Jack's
and Britney's while Brittany is away. Jesse says that the
couple's therapy is a disaster. I mean, I love his honesty, right, Yeah,
Like he doesn't even try to sugarcoat it or anything,
like we're working on things, like we're going to work
through it, and he's like, it's a disaster.

Speaker 1 (14:08):
Yeah, He's like, it's an absolute disaster. Then he shares
that Michelle applied for an apartment a year ago and
told Jesse she was leaving.

Speaker 2 (14:21):
My question is, why why did she not leave? Do
you think I mean to go through those steps of
actually finding an apartment, building out the application, and then
not leaving.

Speaker 1 (14:31):
I mean it could be there's this new show The
Valley that oh.

Speaker 2 (14:40):
That makes sense. She's like, oh, okay, one shot, one
last ditch effort, all right.

Speaker 1 (14:48):
But I can say, being a realtor or not a realtor,
if I were to spend multiple days with another man
that was straight at the Chateau more, a.

Speaker 2 (15:02):
Famous wealthy man, a.

Speaker 1 (15:04):
Famous wealthy man that they were like every time they
said his name, which we've narrowed down from Twitter, that
it's either Quinn Tarantino or Michael Bay. I wonder if
they're gonna rely or it could be neither of those people.
But I've seen Quentin Tarantino out a lot, but it's
never at Chateau Marmont. I see him at the Peninsula.

So that made me question, maybe it is Michael Bay
because I don't really go to Chateau Marmont, so who knows.

Speaker 2 (15:33):
I feel like like now we have to stalk Chateau Marmont.

Speaker 1 (15:36):
Now we have so many places we need to be
all the time, between Jackx's.

Speaker 2 (15:41):
And the Sandwich Place and Yeah Schwartz and Sandy's.

Speaker 1 (15:45):
I mean like the fact that we never want it's
a full day and night outing. We need an adventure.
We should do a road trip podcast. Oh my gosh,
going to all the places. Yes live the problem those closed,
Sandwich live from Jacks Hammered at his self named bar,

Yes live from where they now serve brunch at Tom
Tom Live from Chateau Marmont.

Speaker 2 (16:12):
We have no idea who we're looking for, but we
are here.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
We are here by the looking for a rich director
that's friends with an A list actor.

Speaker 2 (16:21):
We have a photo of Michelle we're showing everyone do
you know this woman? Do you know this woman? Do
you know this woman? Do you know this woman? Oh?

Speaker 1 (16:31):
It's just so good. But then we're back to Malibu.
They're doing a good job of switching back and forth.
I'm really wondering, is this actually even the same day.
But if it's not, like I'm believing it.

Speaker 2 (16:46):
I'm buying it.

Speaker 1 (16:48):
But Michelle and Brittany are having a heart heart I'm like,
this hard to heart, is not. It's hard to ask
for marital advice in this group. I would say, maybe
ask Nia.

Speaker 2 (16:58):
Me and I know, especially like you know, when Brittany's
giving marital advice and you know they're not together anymore,
it's hard to take it seriously. But I feel badly
for her when she opens up about like not having
sex for six weeks. But then I think it came
out that it's way more than six weeks. I think
that then they it was maybe like a year. I

could get this wrong, but I feel like it made
like later in the press it came out in this episode. Yeah,
like I think they were fudging the truth at touch
with this. Just say six weeks that sounds good.

Speaker 1 (17:30):
Yeah, I mean later we'll talk about their actual conversation
when they get into sexy time. But Michelle says she
started to feel the same way she did a year
ago when she almost left Jesse, and she feels like
it would be happier and healthier for her daughter to
see them just co parenting, well together, verse together and unhappy.

That I do agree with if you're absolutely fighting, But
I not that I would feel any differently if I
was married to Jesse. But I don't feel like the
way she's spoken, she ever was in love with Jesse.

Speaker 2 (18:10):
Yeah, because I don't feel like there's a lot of
emotion into it. And I feel like if you were
actually in love with this person at one point and
now you have lost that love and closeness, that you
would be more upset by it. She doesn't seem to
have a lot of emotions about it. It seems very
pragmatic when she talks about it. But it kind of

was just going to leave him a year ago.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
Yeah, like robotic, But it kind of feels like that
with every conversation she's had, Like no wonder Jesse was
turned on when she got mad and threw the chair
down dinner because she showed an emotion.

Speaker 2 (18:45):
I was like, yeah, so yeah, maybe she is just
very on a tone and robotic through life. So I
don't know. Yeah, I don't really know either.

Speaker 1 (18:57):
But then we zip right back to the barbecue, this
little pep talk between the two really functional marriages, and
the guys are still talking about Jesse and Michelle's relationship.
He says Michelle consistently hangs out with the director she
met at chateaum Rmont. Jesse said, Jesse not being bothered
by it was also.

Speaker 2 (19:19):
I find that weird Shane would be bothered by it.
I mean even Jack's admits he would be bothered by it. Yeah,
like I feel like being bothered by that is reasonable
if you're hanging out with a wealthy director in the
Hollywood wood who is a straight man, like your husband
should be bothered by that. And also when you.

Speaker 1 (19:38):
Use the realtor comment, like, wouldn't they not be hanging
out at chateaum Ormont, wouldn't they be hanging out at
open houses and going to look at places for him
to purchase? Yeah, like, we don't hang out at the
I mean I've never hung out with my realtor by
the pool.

Speaker 2 (19:54):
No, no, in a beginning, llo, but.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
You can see Luke Colorado in the jacuzzie, like with
his miller light, like the way I'm with my candidate
dry and he's like.

Speaker 2 (20:07):
Yeah, I know, now, okay, So how does Luke know this?

Speaker 1 (20:11):
Is this?

Speaker 2 (20:11):
Because Michelle told Christen something a while ago. I guess.

Speaker 1 (20:15):
Yeah, my guess is that Kristen and Michelle and Luke
have had a pretty close friendship prior to leading up
to this, and they know all the dirty deeds.

Speaker 2 (20:28):
Yeah, And Luke wants to say it so badly, he
wants to, but he just can't. But I think he's
going to. I mean, I think I think we're pretending.

Speaker 1 (20:38):
I mean because even in the scene, he kind of
looks at Jesse and he's like, so, if something were
to have happened, would you have gotten over it?

Speaker 2 (20:48):
Jesse says, you absolutely not, right right?

Speaker 1 (20:52):
And then then the confessional he was like pitting out.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
Yeah, so you think Michelle's cheated? I mean, what else
could it be?

Speaker 1 (20:59):
I mean, I don't know if she's cheated or if
she's just saying she's interested. I don't know if it's
an emotional affair. I cannot speculate at this point. But
I did see the scenes for next week where it
seems we're about to find out more, right, But do
you think it's going to be Luke that spills it
or I know he'll probably get it.

Speaker 3 (21:19):
Christ will probably do it in some way. Kristin's such
an impact, she's going to have to I know that's right,
because she feels it deeply. So she's going to have
to say something. She can't hold on to it. She
can't hold onto it. She'll know what it'll affect the
energy in the room exactly. But everyone's going to get
mad at her. She's always the messenger.

Speaker 2 (21:41):
I still do not understand why Michelle isn't upset with
whoever said the original comment Janet about the whole You know, well,
I remember what it was.

Speaker 1 (21:51):
She's a Republican, she's a publican and a rasis like
all those things.

Speaker 2 (21:55):
Like we never actually got to the point where she
was upset at the actual person who said it. Like
I like how Janet just kind of she just kind
of gets through, gets by with everything.

Speaker 1 (22:06):
Janet's able to kind of make everybody feel.

Speaker 2 (22:11):
Like they're her best friend.

Speaker 1 (22:12):
I mean, even didn't on the podcast with Katie Maloney,
didn't she say I like Janet and Jesse.

Speaker 2 (22:18):
Yes, she did, and.

Speaker 1 (22:19):
I was like, like, out of first couples, that's what
you go for first. Well, first I had to google
who's Janet and Jesse?

Speaker 2 (22:26):
Who's Jesse?

Speaker 1 (22:27):
But then I once I got through that part, then
I was like, oh, okay, but.

Speaker 2 (22:33):
I guess I mean it makes sense. They seem like
a funny couple.

Speaker 1 (22:35):
Just they seem like a funny suited couple as well,
but they seem to have.

Speaker 2 (22:39):
A good Janna and Jason. Oh my god, is Jesse
Janet and Jason? Hold on?

Speaker 1 (22:45):
But didn't she say Janet, Oh no, Jesse's the other
dude's side, Because then I asked her, what do you
think of Jesse?

Speaker 2 (22:50):
Oh right, that's what it was. Okay, so Janet and Jason.

Speaker 1 (22:53):
Sorry, sorry, But then Luke and his confessionals says, yeah,
I am holding a secret that could ruin everything. I'm like,
I hate to break it to you, Luke, it's already
been ruined.

Speaker 2 (23:06):
Yeah, we're not. They're not the epitome of a happy,
happy marriage.

Speaker 1 (23:11):
So but what was he implying when Jesse, Oh, well
not what was he implying? But what about when Jesse
goes he tell his daughter that his mom everything up.
It's the battle for who's the worst this EPI like,
why is that really what you would.

Speaker 2 (23:29):
Say to your daughter? I know, you know what. I
was going to ask you what you thought about that comment,
because Michelle makes all these comments about hell Jesse's a
good dad, but like, I don't see it. Is he
your good dad? Well?

Speaker 1 (23:40):
They Jesse also said when Isabella is around Michelle, she's
completely different. Isabella seems like a perfect like she entertains herself,
she's playing around, She doesn't seem to be I don't
know what happens in the dynamic when all four of
them together, because I'm still stuck on the one bike ride.

Speaker 2 (24:00):
I saw the rest of the time they're apart. You're
going to ride the bike, get on the bike. We're founding,
ride the bike. But yeah, I all I.

Speaker 1 (24:13):
Was thinking, was I really hope that Jesse doesn't say
this a merchant his daughter. Yeah, when this does come out,
because we know that it's out now they are broken up.

Speaker 2 (24:24):
I hope that wasn't the conversation he had with a
three year old. He sat her down and was like, look,
your mom, everything out? Do you need your passy to soothe?

Speaker 1 (24:35):
But I also, you know, kind of During this I
was wondering about how Luke and Kristin got together, and
also how they got to.

Speaker 2 (24:46):
The point of knowing this was all going to blow up.

Speaker 1 (24:48):
Like how does this all happen? We know Luke and
Kristin met at a wedding blah blah blah, but how
did this closeness start? Like how did these people meeting?

Speaker 2 (24:58):
Because they're in two separate geographical locations and hold, so,
how did they build a relationship where they're so close
and so into each other? Yes, I don't know, that's
a good question. I mean a lot of texting. I
don't know. The thing is that kills me about their
relationship is that they talk so much about having a baby,

but they don't talk about the logistics of how that's
going to work. I feel like they've made it clear
that they're both going to live in two separate places
and he's not willing to move to la and she's
not willing to live in Colorado. But they just keep
this conversation going about having a child, and I just
keep thinking about how is this going to work?

Speaker 1 (25:36):
I also keep thinking they talk about sex a lot,
and listen, I'm happy to talk about sex as much
as the next person. But I also need to point
out something and this isn't I'm not throwing shade, but
like she keeps saying you need to be with a
thirty two year old, I'm like, you guys all look
at the same age, So just so we're clear, it's

not like we're looking at Schwartz's girlfriend at this point
and we're like, whoa like? And then I started to
really question my own self, like that man is ten
years younger than me and seventeen younger years younger than you.

Speaker 2 (26:12):
Oh, thank you for pointing that out. I appreciate that.
I'm just saying you had that math ready to go.
This was premeditated. I did the math.

Speaker 1 (26:23):
I've been so so good.

Speaker 2 (26:25):
Right, that was the fastest math I've ever seen you too, Yeah,
but you knew it extrictly how much older I was?
Thank you for that. Oh gosh. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (26:41):
Well, well here's the thing. It's like, well, I was
I right, I don't know. I can't even do something
to howl.

Speaker 2 (26:47):
Are you at school? I'm forty eight, so what's the math?
Sixteen years? So I'm solved by one. Okay, I don't
even know.

Speaker 1 (26:57):
All right, Then the girls are drinking wine and having
which I don't like this game where the jinga game
where they all.

Speaker 2 (27:05):
Write their questions.

Speaker 1 (27:06):
It's the same questions, like just the same as any
Housewife show where there's a card game you throw out
or that never have I ever like.

Speaker 2 (27:13):
Oh my gosh, just wait till you watch I really
these questions give like just talk ask questions like you
and I can ask each other questions. Why is there
always had to be a game involved? But Brittany, I
mean the question did lead to Brittany's poop story. And

I know how much you enjoy a good poop story.
I do enjoy a good poop story.

Speaker 1 (27:39):
But I have to say, at one point in time,
Jax must have been very attracted and very in love
with Brittany, because if I asked Edwin to get in
the ocean so I could ship next to him and
walk away with my ship following.

Speaker 2 (27:54):
He would be like, the sais ate the poop? What
are they called? Sea rays? Are sea ray? Stingrays? Yes,
sea rays like the ste ate the poop.

Speaker 1 (28:11):
Like, listen, I may not be the biggest environmentalist, but
what did those stingrays do to deserve me?

Speaker 2 (28:17):
Ma's cheese all over?

Speaker 1 (28:19):
Them, like I just and also I want to know,
like if I have been in a situation. I grew
up on an island, so like I've been in a
situation where I've had to shit on a boat.

Speaker 2 (28:30):
Do you think I told anyone? Oh, but that boat
had no restrooms so she had to go walk out
into the water and stop. Learly.

Speaker 1 (28:38):
No, any of the boats that I grew up riding
around on with my friends didn't have but we'd be
on like a sand dune, and then you just go
far away from everybody and they assume you're ping, and
if accidentally you had to poop and run, that's what
it is. But please don't invite your significant other.

Speaker 2 (28:55):
Or tell the parents. Well, no, the parents they now know,
but they didn't know at the time. Apparently she said
she didn't know. If they knew at the time, Yeah,
but if he were pretending they didn't know.

Speaker 1 (29:07):
But then Michelle saying she doesn't even Michelle must like
Jesse a little bit. If she's not even willing to
shit in the same hotel room that he's in, she's
willing to.

Speaker 2 (29:16):
Go to the lobby. I just want to know how
it happens at home, Like does she wait for him
to not be there.

Speaker 1 (29:25):
Well, what I do know is I didn't need the
editors to show the flashback of Jack shitting on the toilet.
I didn't need to see that either with the door open.

Speaker 2 (29:35):
Yeah, didn't need it.

Speaker 1 (29:36):
Didn't need it on the phone, Like I know, everybody
sits as Jerry's I give this shit a five point five.
It's not full banana shit.

Speaker 2 (29:47):
But he's like, hey, this is Jack's uh to doe
it my cameo while I take a shit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (29:54):
Then Brittany tells the girl she hasn't had sex in
a month and a half and how Jack consistently puts
her down, which that consistently putting down.

Speaker 2 (30:06):
She really does lift Jack's up.

Speaker 1 (30:08):
I mean she may shit on boats with Jack's but
she really does lift him up and have his back,
even when he invited Kristen's.

Speaker 2 (30:14):
Ex to he did. She has played. She does take
up for him and make excuses for him a lot,
but clearly she's not getting any reciprocation.

Speaker 1 (30:34):
Then they show Malibu the morning after Janet says Girls'
Night was a success. They all seem violently hungover, so
like they can't they can't even look except for Michelle.
She doesn't seem to hungover. She seems interested in having
a what are they called, oh bloody Mary Mary?

Speaker 2 (30:52):
Because she was going to head to shoutow Mormont. I know,
I was just going to say that she's just going
to go to shoutou Mormant, so she needed to get
the party started. What kind of bag did Britney pukein?
Do we think?

Speaker 1 (31:03):
Do we think it was the chip bag because they
were eating chips the day before, or like, why did
it need to be left in the driveway? Isn't there
trash can outfunt?

Speaker 2 (31:13):
I don't know why. I guess you just she didn't
pull over. See I would pull over and make her
get out and puke. I wouldn't want her to puke
right next to me into a bag while I'm driving.

Speaker 1 (31:23):
Well maybe it happened multiple times and she was they
were driving, and she was like, they didn't want to
puke to splatter all over the back of the car,
so they put the.

Speaker 2 (31:30):
Bag and I don't know, I'm not a puker. Then
we get back.

Speaker 1 (31:37):
Then it's a we get from puke to hangovers to
Nia talking to Danny and just once again I didn't
expect to have such a real, honest, helpful conversation to
appear on this show. So thank you Nia for being
open and vulnerable and you know, for not puking in
your driveway.

Speaker 2 (31:55):
Yeah, classy, She's a classy lady.

Speaker 1 (31:58):
We appreciated it, Nia, And I'm glad that Ac got
fixed because the valley is hot.

Speaker 2 (32:05):
The valley is hot, especially it looks like it would
be super hot in a condo with three little children,
and no Ac, I would die.

Speaker 1 (32:13):
Also, when Jesse was talking about how much he despised
the valley, I'm like, Jesse, now that you're divorced or
getting divorced, you may be living in the valley soon enough,
my friend, So I wouldn't be.

Speaker 2 (32:26):
Talking to that much, right.

Speaker 1 (32:28):
We all think we're going to stay somewhere and then
everybody ends up over here.

Speaker 2 (32:32):

Speaker 1 (32:33):
But then jack talks to Brittany about her heavy drinking
when she goes out.

Speaker 2 (32:38):
Brittany doesn't want her in Jackson's relationship to end up
like Michelle and Jesse's, which this conversation is actually hard
to watch because we know that they end up separated,
and I felt like Brittany was like trying to be
real enthusiastic about that's never going to help happen to us.
We're biggest things, right right, every best friends, I am

your ride or die. That's never going to happen to us.
And I felt like she was really trying to, like,
you know, right, write Jacks and he.

Speaker 1 (33:05):
Just well, And then Jack's like the D word doesn't
exist in his family. They don't think it will ever
happen to them. But then they start to talk about sex.
But meanwhile he's.

Speaker 2 (33:17):
Like, I don't busy. He's like, I got aletach and
I'm so tired. I have all these cameos to do,
like I probably have. What is it when like meat's undercooked?
I have salmon? Like I, well, what do you think
it is? Do you think he's not attracted to or

anymore and he's just checked out? Is that? Because that's
what I get from it.

Speaker 1 (33:43):
I think that oftentimes, whether people want to admit it
or not, there are times in your relationship where it
may pivot in the attraction level. In order to get
yourself back on track, you have to like make the
effort to have sex. If you don't and too much

time passes, you just stop having sex. So whether it
means that he's attracted to her or not, or whether
it means that they've just gotten out of habit of
making an effort to be together in any sort of
intimate way. I mean, I have friends and that have
gone years because now it's so uncomfortable for one of

them to make a move. And I can say after
I had my son cruise edwhen I went for a
while without and then it got to the point where
I started feeling insecure and started feeling like Edwin wasn't
attracted to me, and we went through.

Speaker 2 (34:43):
Like that was our roughest time in our marriage.

Speaker 1 (34:46):
So if you don't talk about it and you don't
work through it, you can't just pretend it's going to
get better on its own. Yeah, I guess my takeaway
from that conversation was that Britney was committed to talking
about it and making it better. I don't feel like
he was fully invested in the conversation or making it better,
Like he doesn't seem interested to me. And I hate

to even ask this, but I just need to know
your thoughts. Do you think this means he's having sex
with somebody else or he's just taken that Like I'm
not having sex with it, Like because I'm not having
sex with my wife, I'm just like out of sight,
out of my mind, I'm.

Speaker 2 (35:21):
Not having sex. I don't know. I just I can
only compare it to my relationship with Shane. And Shane
we've been together fifteen years, and he always wants to
have sex. There's never a time period when he doesn't.
Even when I was at my heaviest or when I
gained forty pounds, he still was attracted to me and
he still wanted to have sex all the time. So
to me, based upon my experience, when a man is

in a committed relationship but it goes a long period
of time without having sex, that doesn't make sense to me. Yeah,
and he's getting it somewhere else.

Speaker 1 (35:51):
Yeah, or unless you're struggling and you have to work
through something. But no, I mean there are but there
are times like I'm a very attracted to Edwin, Like
I love him, you know, he's my best friend. He
doesn't exist in this one.

Speaker 2 (36:05):
But are you fakest Thames more thickest Thames?

Speaker 1 (36:08):
But like he was going out of town and it
was like late and Edwin started.

Speaker 2 (36:14):
And I was like, babe, and he.

Speaker 1 (36:16):
Was like please, and I was like, okay, you.

Speaker 2 (36:19):
Know, like I gave in.

Speaker 1 (36:21):
It wasn't like on the top priority list for me.
I had already done all my nighttime activities and I
was ready for night night. But I still was like, okay,
you know, like he is going out of town, like you,
you make allowances for maybe the moment, and then I'll
joke about I'll be like I took one for the
team there.

Speaker 2 (36:37):
Just for the record. I'm sure he appreciates hearing that.
He was like you did, and I appreciate it, thank you.

Speaker 1 (36:43):
You know, but like you should be able to laugh
and have real conversation, not just well, if you wanted
to last more than two seconds, we have to do
butt stuff.

Speaker 2 (36:51):
I think, yes, I'm sure she was like yay. I
don't know, maybe she was. Maybe she was like I'll
take whatever I can get. Do you think they had
sex though?

Speaker 3 (37:05):

Speaker 2 (37:05):
No, don't you think they just did that scene and
they were like, oh, yeah, let's go, let's do some
butt stuff. Then they were like in scene, all right,
you go back to the couch. I'm gonna go upstairs,
yeah and watch Netflix. I don't even know that they've
had sex since that scene.

Speaker 1 (37:19):
Probably not, Like, I just don't think that conversation because
she was also laughing about it, because you could tell
she's feeling bad about it. She's laughing about it. He's
making excuses on how tired he is from running a
bar and apparently leaf blowing his backyard. Like, I just
didn't feel that connection and there was no touching. Normally,

when you're about to have sex, there is some sort
of like physical intimacy of any kind, right, Yeah, yeah,
what about the Jesse has now cried? We have now
seen Jesse's shed of tear.

Speaker 2 (37:57):
Do you feel like he just like reached over, grabbed
an onion and then cried.

Speaker 1 (38:02):
You think he like took his Starbucks cup and jiggled
at the eyeside.

Speaker 2 (38:06):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (38:08):
I actually think in that moment, maybe because he's so
obsessed with himself, the idea that somebody else isn't obsessed
with him is heartbreaking.

Speaker 2 (38:16):
Yeah, that makes sense. I'll go with that.

Speaker 1 (38:18):
But I do think he says he knows he wants
to make it work, and then completely deadpan, she's like,
I can't really make any promises on my end.

Speaker 2 (38:33):
Yeah, no emotion, no.

Speaker 1 (38:35):
Motion, He's crying and then coming up next week, we
see Michelle's secrets are going to be aired to the
entire group. Yay, yay, But also do we think that
some of these issues between Michelle and Jesse have to
do with just the way he acts in general? Or

do you think there has been Do you think this
michelle secrets being aired? Do you think this is the
first there's been secrets or do you think their entire
relationship has been secrets? But just getting the vibe off
the two of them, I don't know. I mean, she
has so little emotion, it's hard for me to read her.

Like I don't know if she went into.

Speaker 2 (39:19):
This marriage very calculated knowing it wouldn't work out, or
if she actually was committed and had some emotions at
some point and now she's just she met she met
the guy at the Chateau Marmond. I don't know. Yeah,
I have no idea. I also wonder, how do you
come onto a reality show knowing that people know secrets

about you that you're on a show with unless you're
okay with it coming out When that person is Kristen, right,
like you know that's going to come up, Like I yeah,
I mean there are certain people in my life that
I feel like would hold a secret for me.

Speaker 1 (39:58):
I'm not sure that person would necessarily be Christian, like
when you just see historically throughout all of the years.
Do I like watching Kristin? Yes? Do I have I
been around her and she's a lot of fun. Yes,
as she always been nice to me.

Speaker 2 (40:15):
Yes. Would you tell her your deepest started secrets and
then go on a television show with her? No? I
don't know. So Okay, Well, so here's my question. Do
you think because Michelle is on a reality show, she
knows that people on the show with her know the
secret about her? Do you think she's making the relationship

look worse so it looks reasonable that she had an affair,
possibly allegedly. She would be very if that is the case.
She is very smart. Jesse started.

Speaker 1 (40:46):
But Jesse does a pretty good job of making himself
look like an asshole without Sean needing.

Speaker 2 (40:50):
To do that.

Speaker 1 (40:50):
Yeah, he doesn't really need help in that area. Well,
I have a question for you then, Yeah, just a
hypothetical question. If I were to share with you the
dark at secrets, because we talk all the time on
the pod, if I were to share with you and
then next year I was on Real Housewives of Orange County?

Speaker 2 (41:07):
Would you tell them?

Speaker 1 (41:08):
Absolutely so, don't tell me shit, all right, guys, thanks
for tuning in to another episode of Popping Off. Make
sure you tune in later tonight because we will be

dropping another episode with Katie from vander Pump Rules and
it's juicy juicy
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