Today’s guests Christena Huntsman Durham, Director and Executive Vice President of Huntsman Foundation and Tonja R. Myles, Community Engagement Advisor, The Huntsman Mental Health Foundation join host Tommi A. Vincent on Radio Row during Super Bowl LVIII to discuss mental health, drug addiction, and more.
A few of Christena Huntsman Durham’s highlights:
- Strong financial support for the advancement of mental health
- Redefining the conversation on mental wellness advocacy
- Lost a sister to a drug overdose and use their loss as an opportunity to minimize the stigma of mental health by helping others
- Founded the Huntsman Mental Health Institute
A few of Tonja R. Myles’s highlights:
- Strong advocate for survivors of sexual assault and focus on mental health
- Strives to eradicate the stigma associated with mental health and advocates for compassionate and inclusive support systems
- Ordained minister and veteran
Host: Tommi A. Vincent
Guests:Christena Durham Huntsman and Tonja R. Myles, Huntsman Family Foundation
Produced by: Tommi A. Vincent, Dimitri Golden, and Motion Hue Productions
Music By: Stichiz - Big T. Music / Roj & Twinkie
#upongame
Support the show: https://www.upongame.network/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Joining us at the table, we have Christina Huntsman, dorm
Director and executive vice president of Huntsman Foundation, along with
Tanja R. Miles, community Engagement Advisor the Huntsman Mental Health Foundation.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Enjoy our conversation.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Take your seat, get comfortable because it's time to stay
a while. I'm Tomy Vincent, your hosts, and today we
have in the chairs Christina Huntsman Dorham and we have
Tanja Miles. Thank you so much, ladies for joining me
here at the Stay a Wild Table. It is an
(00:41):
honor to have conversation with you both. I know that
you all are extremely deliberate and intentional with the work
that you're doing around mental health, and so I want
to use this opportunity for us to talk about that,
but talk about it in a way that's relatable to
people listening that may not recognize that their mental health
(01:04):
may be in jeopardy, or that can use the information
we're talking about here through our storytelling to prevent themselves
from going down a path or sitting in a space
too long before they tap into what they need to
be healthy individuals menting well.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Look, first of all, thank you so much for having
us for real fail I appreciate the work that you
do and these conversations and the spaces that you create.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
We need. I think that healing begins.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
In the house for us, So we know that your
podcast is reaching people in their house, and we believe
that healing is everyone's birthright.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
You know, Look, I have lived experience.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
I know how it is to be a person who
have no hope that to think that the only way
out is to heal myself, or is to prostitute myself,
or is to do drugs and overdose because I think
that all the stuff that was done to me or
I did, there is no hope and help after that.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
And so the fact that I to wake up every
day on a mission and push.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Hope to let people know that recovery is real and
if that I can do, what they can do it
as well. We have to tell that story and spaces
like this helps us move the needles so people can
know that you're not the only one.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
That we all have challenges.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Brain pain happens all of us for different reasons, but
there's hope.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
You said something very interesting in regards to and this
is how I interpreted what you said. We have these
experiences that we encounter in life. Some not our choices,
others our choices, and when we're making those choices, there
is this undercurrent of I don't feel worthy. So as
(02:44):
a result of that pain, I need to do things
that indicate I'm feeling this way or my experience is
justified because.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Of my unworthness.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Look, trauma is a be a beast.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
And you know, there was a song that someone had
me to sing one day and it said, I am
just a child. I know everything I am will grow
things that heard. What I am small grows much bigger
when I'm tall. And that's what happened to me. And
that's what happens with trauma. It happens for a different reason. Look,
you said it earlier about mental health. It affects us
all and it's not cookie cutter. But at the end
(03:22):
of the day, no matter what has happened to you,
there's hope, there's help, and there's healing, and we have
to get to the root calls of it, and particularly
when it comes to trauma, because it does not discriminate
from the curve power to the country club, it can
affect you and so we have to talk about it.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Look, especially in the Africanican community, we were told to
suck it up, go pray it away. It's a spirit.
Are you kidding me right now?
Speaker 3 (03:45):
But if a person had issue with a heart disease,
we would tell them to go to the doctor. So
we have to have conversations like this like you're doing
to let people know that it's okay.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
To talk about it. And I'm just saying, therapy is here.
That's the true I look, I believe in Jesus in therapy,
So I screw so need it.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
So Christina, I know that your family, they have decided
that you are You have your stake in the ground
here right. You are committed to this area of mental
wellness and making sure that people recognize.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
That it's not a stigma, that this is life.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
And just like we're working out the other areas of
our of our bodies and we're tending to that all
the other aspects of our health, that this piece of us,
our mental health, is extremely important.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
Why is that it's important to our family? I lost
my sister fifteen years ago to a drug aber das.
We think it wouldn't happen in her families like ours.
At the time of her passing, we did up put
on her obituary how she passed away, but we realized
that was a missed opportunity. Substantive views mental health help.
(05:00):
It's behind every door in America. And I'm here to
talk as a mom and a grandma and a sister
and friend. I'm a mom of seven, I have thirteen grandkids,
and as a mom, I watched I wish I knew
now you know what I is a mom. I remember,
(05:21):
you know, one of my daughters being diagnosed with depression
and going to the pharmacy as far away as possible
from our neighborhood because as a mom, I didn't want
that stigma of getting medication or I didn't watch somebody
to judge my daughter that I was getting medication for them.
But how often do we put that self stigma, you know,
as a mom or kids trying to protect our kids
(05:43):
because we don't want to share what they're really going through.
When I checked my sister into de Talks, it was,
you know, through the back doors at night, in a
dark you know, he Talks isn't a glamorous place to go.
And I watched our family build, you know, one of
(06:04):
the most beautiful cancer centers, the Hentson Mental Health Institute,
and my dad dedicated a lot of his time and
resources to finding a cure for cancer. He said, when
people walk in the doors, I want them to feel
hope and beauty and light, and we're trying to do
that same thing with mental health. When you go in
(06:24):
to get treatment or substance use, it's not it's got
to be a place of beauty and you are greeted
with a warm blanket and encouragement and no judgment. I
look back at my sister, and I'm sure a lot
of the self stima that she put on herself. Why
am I taking drugs? My life on the outside looks perfect?
Speaker 2 (06:47):
What is wrong with me?
Speaker 4 (06:49):
And until we can look at it as a brain
disease and really allow people to be able to get
the help that they need. She suffered from an eating
disorder and so many of these things. If we can
get children the help that they need at a young age,
when they're first getting having issues, and give them the
(07:11):
tools and the resources, I want my grandchildren to not
be afraid of a diagnosis, and if they get a diagnosis,
to know that there are tools and that there are treatments,
and that they can live their best life. They don't
need to numb their pain away with substance because sometimes
that's easier. You know, it's just a you know, you
(07:33):
look at insurance, it's you know, insurance doesn't cover mental
health issues resources. You finally get up the nerve, just
tell somebody you need to see a therapist, and it's
a three month wait to get in and then insurance
well yeah, yeah, after barrier. So you just think, Okay,
I'll put that on the back burner. I'll wait and
(07:54):
do that later. But in the meantime, your brain, you know,
it needs the help.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
And it's a treatment.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
So if we can get tools and resources out to
people before they're in crisis, you know, but it all
starts with sharing your story. But how hard is it.
If you're in a workplace or you're with your family
and you get a cancer diagnosis, you're going to be
greeted with hugs and oh my gosh, what can we
(08:21):
do to support you? We'll bring meals over. But if
you are giving a mental health diagnosis or you need
to go into treatment for substance, kind of backed away
in silence and you don't get that help and encouragement.
So I think you have to look at that individual
if the self stigma that they put on themselves, and
(08:41):
it's just three steps backwards of I'm afraid to ask
for help because of how I'm going to be looked at.
And so especially as women, we need to be let me.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Ask you this.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Yeah, let me ask you this because we know that
we're dealing with different people and everybody is not viewed
the same in this converse. Right, So there's some people
we can talk about this and their treatment. People feel
like there's value to their life and so we want
to make sure they get well. Sure, then there's other
people where they may be experiencing drug addiction. They may
(09:16):
you know, people may assume there's something going on with
them mentally, but their.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Life is disposable.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
How can we view this as an all people issue
where everybody's life matters versus just certain people matter in
this conversation.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Well, you know, I use this analogy. You know, my
whole body is important from here to here. But let
me get a toothache and right here, this would matters
right now, So I would have to take all my
resources because the tooth is hurting, are hurting, and then
because it can affect the rest of my whole body
feel but when I apply the resources to that area,
(09:56):
then it gives me more relief to my body. And
so we know that there's demographics that experience more pain,
more trauma than others. But we have to realize we're
all in this together, that the whole body matters. But
when there's one particular piece of my body that's hurting more,
I have to address it more. And I think we
have to do that, and we have to, you know,
let people know that again that it does not discriminate
(10:19):
from the curve side to the country club.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
You know, look, life matters.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Life happens, and it could be financially, it could be trauma,
it could be systemic, it could be just so many
things you know that's going on. And so we need
people to know that all our brains are beautiful, that
you know, the care to this world come to choke
the choke stuff out of us. But at the end
of the day that we all hurt the same and
we can also heal differently.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
But healing is all of our birthright. And so no
matter what it is, no matter what people are going through,
you know that there's hope. And I can't say that
enough because we know that the struggle is real, but
social cover. It's just like people who you know use
drugs decide to use drugs like I did. It wasn't
like I wanted to be Oh one day, I think
I want to be a crack kid that I wanted
(11:05):
to perform one Broadway.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
It not be a kid.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
But life happens, and so you know, life has this
ebb and flows and this changes. But at the end
of the day, how can we help people get back
on track and let them know that you know what, baby,
you can still you live your best, blessed life and
you know there are a lot of people who are
cheering your own like us and like you because you
do it well. And so you know, I know this
(11:28):
is not a Bible study, but it says that you know,
faith without works is dead and that you know life
isn't the world. And so that's why you you're such
a great storyteller, and so when you're talking to people,
you're putting that life into the atmosphere and that's what
healing happens.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
That's the sneeze part.
Speaker 4 (11:45):
Will we are working on tools that we'll be able
to reach everybody that will be free resources. We have
a pilot program that we're working on in Utah. We
have six years of data partnering with the state to
get resources out and so we will be over this
next year, you know, hoping to get that to everybody,
(12:08):
no matter where they live. And it's an anonymous resource
where you will be talking to a peer support or
a therapist. And so Utah is unique that we can
create these amazing resources and tools and our work is
to get them out to everybody right now. I mean
(12:28):
we need to push out ninety eight eight. We have
nine to one one. If your house is on fire,
you know, you call nine one one. Nine eight eight
is a free resource for everybody, Nami is you know,
all around America. So there are free resources right now available.
We just want to amplify and add on to what
(12:51):
so many people are already doing. So we need to
get those resources out to everybody. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
You shared about how you all did not put in
your sister's obituary the why right, and then you also
shared about with your daughter how you made sure that
you did receive her medication at a location that allowed
it to be anonymous at fail.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
To the person that is listening to our conversation that.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Feels like I have to hide this part of me, right,
What would you share with them so that they can
turn the light on so they can see where they're
going in this process and get the healing they need.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
Yeah, I think you find your safe friends. Sometimes it's
just one person sharing their story. My youngest daughter has
had her own mental health journey, and I think this
next generation is going to change things because of her journey.
She is getting her master's and met I'll help counseling,
(14:01):
and I keep telling her because of what your lived experience,
you will be able to open doors for more people
because you have that lived experience. All of us have
a lived experience, and it's about sharing it, and sometimes
it's just sharing it for the first time. And when
we share our stories, I can't tell you how many
(14:22):
people will pull one of us aside and say, oh
my gosh, my story is similar. Where can I go
to get some pal And so I think it's just
looking around and hopefully if you're out there listening and
someone shares their story, that you in turn can look
at them back with eyes of no judgment and eyes up.
(14:46):
It would be like somebody sharing that they have stage
four cancer and they really need help. And so until
we can break the barriers down and not judge each
other for what we're going through, because I can guarantee
you during everybody's life they will deal with a mental
health crisis. They will either be on the floor or
picking somebody else up off the floor. And so sometimes
(15:08):
what we see other people struggling with, we need to
have that love and empathy. But it starts with just
finding somebody safe to share their experience.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Tan Ja was speaking with another guests today as we
were talking about how we can move through life, especially
as women, really just moving through life and we hit
danger zones. But because we're trained to condition just to
keep pushing, keep going, we ignore the signs or we
(15:41):
may not even recognize them because it may look very
similar to what we witness growing up.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Is normal.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Sure, So when you think about that, what are some
practical tell tale songs that may benefit people listening on listen,
this is your right now, you've approach yellow.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Let's get it right now right again.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
Going back to what I said earlier is that you know,
look if I fail right now and I cut my hand,
I would have to address it right then and there,
because if I didn't, I'm opening up that. You know,
it's not going to hear properly. You know, it can
turn into something else. So it could be something small,
but if I don't.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Address it, then it can turn into gangreen, it can
turn into an affection, an infection, and then there's more
stuff that needs to happen. So you know, if we
deal with it right then and there, you know, a
lot of times as women, you know, we need to
put it off because we have to take everybody first.
And that's what we are. We're life givers. But the
best work that we can do is on ourselves first.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
You know.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
We want our families to be successful, we want our
kids to have the best life, we want our husbands
to be great and do great things. Then we have
to make sure that we are doing that for ourself first.
We deserve that, you know, And so then we can
now go and give what we have been given to
someone else, you know, and I believe that when we
do that as women, when we say, you know what,
(17:07):
it's not being selfish, because self care is not being selfish.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
It's taking care of ourselves first.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
And once we do that and we get strong enough
then we have enough strength within ourselves the first of all,
take care of ourselves, but then giving back out to
the people that we love so they can be stronger.
And look, at the end of the day, we are
the best you know, knowers of who we are. And
so when we see those signs, you know, when it
gets to like, look, everybody's gonna have a bad day,
(17:33):
point blank period. But when bad days turn into bad
years or months, then we got to go. You know what,
I'm not sleeping, I'm not taking the bath because look,
I've been there. Well my husband had to put me
in the bath because I had to take in the
bath for five days because I'm so depressed. And I
went out and you know, staved the world and got
my cape on. When I come back home, you know,
I can barely take a bath. I mean, that's your talk.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Or when you know, my grandmother and my mom and
my sister died back to back to back, and I
have to be that care to go and make sure
everybody else is okay.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
But then I go back home and I'm on the
you know, on a couch in the fetal position. So
for me, I tell women on anyone, you know, know,
who you are. You know when you.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Know you need to reach out.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
We're like Christina saying, reach out to people that you
trust us, reach out to people that can be with
you on your worst day to get you to better days.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Because healing can happen. But as women, we love to give, you,
love to encourage, We like to take care of each other,
so we have to take care of ourselves first.
Speaker 4 (18:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Absolutely, So I've talked about openly many times about my
experience with depression and for myself, I have a personal
anchor that I go to when I feel in I
can feel myself just starting to get low, and it's cooking.
(18:53):
So there's two things, two ways that this is a
barometer for me. One, I mean it's space where I
can go to the cooking and it fuels me, it
gives me what I need. I call it soul food therapy.
But then there's the space where my gift turns off
and I don't have a desire to go into the kitchen.
(19:16):
So on one hand, I can use it to heal me,
and then on the other hand, if I'm not doing it,
I'm in trouble.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
And so I've talked to my family about that. They
know when I'm in the kitchen and they can hear
that gospel music blaring.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Okay, this is her healing space right now, and they
honor that, and then they get to benefit from all
the food.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
I'm mad at that part come through. And then the
other piece of that is if.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
I'm not making my way into that kitchen, which over
the maybe two months ago, I was cooking myself for
Reina every day for dinner, seven days a week.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
For Reena is a hot cereal.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Now one that's progress because I was cooking, because I
could have just not been cooking and feeding myself. But
Farena is also the first thing I ever made at
three years old, the very first.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Thing I cooked.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
So some days into it, I realized I was cooking
the serena because I was looking for comfort.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
But my daughter noticed it.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
And she called her dad and she said, something's going
on with mommy, And everybody knew to tap in with
me to say what is it. But I was fatigued
and there was a lot taking place, and I needed
to get some time to address what was going on
with me. So I know I need therapy, like I
(20:41):
don't even really understand the undercurrent of it all.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
But I know that I need to do some work
to identify what this is.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Sure, So having a piece of your life for me,
that's the one thing I would tell people. If there's
something that you do and when that thing turns off
and you're unable to do it, you know that you
are in a danger zone and it's time for you
to get some help.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Yeah, and I tell people, you know what I call it,
you know those ten levels.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
I know that if it gets for a three from me,
then I know I have to reach out to my
friends and I have to be honest with them, like
you know what I'm struggling right now, you know, And
so they know what to do.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
I have a circle of vibe.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
My therapists know who to call, and so it's people
that I trust because look, at the end of the day, women,
we should not be competing but completing each other. And
so I know that I can call this then and say, look,
you know, here's what's going on. You know I can't
see you know I'm feeling so kind of way I
feel because it questions the same way with me, I
can look.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
The worst times is when everything in my life is
going right, everything doing right.
Speaker 4 (21:45):
I'm like killing what you have to be sad about why.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
You're so you got so much going on, And then
I feel bad because I'm thinking, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
But then I can feel that fall coming in.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
And so when it gets to a three, then I
know I have to call my friends and say, look,
it's that a three or we even have a cold system,
it's that cold blue. We know, when it's that glow purple,
everybody has to come in. So I think that we
have to. Again, we're the best, you know, we know
what's best for us, and when we don't know, there's
people that we should love and trust that we can say, hey,
look this is going on, and then we can come
(22:18):
together and I can call you and I can say, look,
you know that the fog is coming in, and I
know what you're going to say is what can I do?
Speaker 2 (22:26):
You know?
Speaker 1 (22:27):
And it's been times that you know, I'll say, you
just need to come sit with me, that's all. And
you know, tell me because like I said, like I said,
depression is real and I hate it, you know, but
that's why we share all tree.
Speaker 4 (22:38):
And watching watching loved ones suffer. I know. Sometimes it's
just you know, sometimes you just have to go to
the door and stick your foot in the door and
get in and just give them a hig and just sit.
You don't have to say anything but hold their hand
and just get them through some of those dark moments
and let them know that it's okay. And like you say,
(23:01):
sometimes it's when your life is going great and people
will say.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
What is wrong?
Speaker 4 (23:05):
You werful life? You have your whole family. But you
wouldn't say that if someone was going through a chemo
and cancer. You wouldn't say, why are you in bed
se sick? You wouldn't say that.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
And let me just say this.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
You know there are things that you know we talked
about nonated and nomine. But you know, if you know
a loved one who you know is struggling, you.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Don't know what to do, you know, just say, hey,
you know so one of the best suicideologists in the country,
he said, telling you when you don't know what to say,
just ask a person this, why does it hurt?
Speaker 2 (23:37):
How can I help? Those two simple questions.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
Once you have a family member that you know that's struggling,
just say, you know what, I don't have to ask.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
You any questions.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
I'm gonna bring you some chicken because my family. Yeah,
and I'm just gonna sit here.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
You know that's been places where friends about us, we're like,
you know what, you go to bed and we'll just
lay right here. We'll just like right us right here
with you. And so you're right, But I say, you know, food, honey,
food does something for the soul.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Nourish the rain, and it nourished the mind.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
And so you know, even when you know the you
know when that was the last supper that was food involved.
And so the fact that you know that food brings
all of us together, I don't care.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
What fully you are. It does.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
It's our love language.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
It is a universal Yeah, so you can level us
at the time, but you.
Speaker 4 (24:26):
Look at one of the largest mental health crisis is loneliness,
And so what are we as women doing to help
those around us and think, Okay, it's somebody that I love,
are they lonely? What am I doing to make sure
that that luck that we're filling up that loneliness gap
(24:47):
and they don't have to yeel that way.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
And that's why I love your podcast. I mean, I'm
watching and it is so genius. I wish I had
thought of it because it says stale while because in
the world right now where we're just like, hey, wash,
you know what's going on? Hey, you know everything's fast
paced cookie cutter not cookie cutter. I'm sorry, but you know, microwave,
and you're like, no, let's just sit down these beautiful
one shares, stay a while, get some coffee, let me,
(25:12):
let me make you some what what is.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
It, let's stop blue beery biscuits? What you Yeah, exactly?
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Yeah, right, and then before you know, we're breaking brand
and we're just sharing.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
Yeah, that's genie.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
Yeah, we got to get away from being transactional and
more relational. So we know that you all have a
ton of resources that we can share with people. So
what I would like to get from you is that
information so we can put it in the show notes.
So if people are listening, they have an area where
they can go and we'll make sure we have those
(25:45):
details available for you in our show notes. Because mental wellness,
everybody deserves to have a healthy mind, a healthy everything,
but everything starts in the mind.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
The mind is the battlefield, and so we want.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
To make sure that you have the tools that you
need so that you are able to live the life
that you deserve. To have because mental wellness is your birthright.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
And you know, people deserve to live and we call
that eliapy live in freedom every day. So I always
tell people I'm all about that life helping people to
live in freedom every day.
Speaker 4 (26:22):
And you know what, sometimes all it's gonna all you
have time for is to sit and take ten deep breaths.
But at least do that for yourself every single day.
Because it's women, moms, grandma's, sisters, friends, women in the workplace.
We're on that Gerbil wheel and sometimes it's years before
we get off. But if we can just take even
(26:43):
a minute and take ten deep breaths and just say, okay,
I am here, I am here. So thank you so
much for giving us this opportunity, right, I am so
great to share our stories. We have a story that
is worth telling.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
I thank you so much for you're joining me today
at the Stale Wild Table and providing us with some
necessary information life healing, life changing, life giving and know
you're welcome here any time.
Speaker 4 (27:12):
Thank you so much, thank you, thank you
Joining us at the table, we have Christina Huntsman, dorm
Director and executive vice president of Huntsman Foundation, along with
Tanja R. Miles, community Engagement Advisor the Huntsman Mental Health Foundation.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Enjoy our conversation.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Take your seat, get comfortable because it's time to stay
a while. I'm Tomy Vincent, your hosts, and today we
have in the chairs Christina Huntsman Dorham and we have
Tanja Miles. Thank you so much, ladies for joining me
here at the Stay a Wild Table. It is an
(00:41):
honor to have conversation with you both. I know that
you all are extremely deliberate and intentional with the work
that you're doing around mental health, and so I want
to use this opportunity for us to talk about that,
but talk about it in a way that's relatable to
people listening that may not recognize that their mental health
(01:04):
may be in jeopardy, or that can use the information
we're talking about here through our storytelling to prevent themselves
from going down a path or sitting in a space
too long before they tap into what they need to
be healthy individuals menting well.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Look, first of all, thank you so much for having
us for real fail I appreciate the work that you
do and these conversations and the spaces that you create.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
We need. I think that healing begins.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
In the house for us, So we know that your
podcast is reaching people in their house, and we believe
that healing is everyone's birthright.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
You know, Look, I have lived experience.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
I know how it is to be a person who
have no hope that to think that the only way
out is to heal myself, or is to prostitute myself,
or is to do drugs and overdose because I think
that all the stuff that was done to me or
I did, there is no hope and help after that.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
And so the fact that I to wake up every
day on a mission and push.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Hope to let people know that recovery is real and
if that I can do, what they can do it
as well. We have to tell that story and spaces
like this helps us move the needles so people can
know that you're not the only one.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
That we all have challenges.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Brain pain happens all of us for different reasons, but
there's hope.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
You said something very interesting in regards to and this
is how I interpreted what you said. We have these
experiences that we encounter in life. Some not our choices,
others our choices, and when we're making those choices, there
is this undercurrent of I don't feel worthy. So as
(02:44):
a result of that pain, I need to do things
that indicate I'm feeling this way or my experience is
justified because.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Of my unworthness.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Look, trauma is a be a beast.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
And you know, there was a song that someone had
me to sing one day and it said, I am
just a child. I know everything I am will grow
things that heard. What I am small grows much bigger
when I'm tall. And that's what happened to me. And
that's what happens with trauma. It happens for a different reason. Look,
you said it earlier about mental health. It affects us
all and it's not cookie cutter. But at the end
(03:22):
of the day, no matter what has happened to you,
there's hope, there's help, and there's healing, and we have
to get to the root calls of it, and particularly
when it comes to trauma, because it does not discriminate
from the curve power to the country club, it can
affect you and so we have to talk about it.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Look, especially in the Africanican community, we were told to
suck it up, go pray it away. It's a spirit.
Are you kidding me right now?
Speaker 3 (03:45):
But if a person had issue with a heart disease,
we would tell them to go to the doctor. So
we have to have conversations like this like you're doing
to let people know that it's okay.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
To talk about it. And I'm just saying, therapy is here.
That's the true I look, I believe in Jesus in therapy,
So I screw so need it.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
So Christina, I know that your family, they have decided
that you are You have your stake in the ground
here right. You are committed to this area of mental
wellness and making sure that people recognize.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
That it's not a stigma, that this is life.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
And just like we're working out the other areas of
our of our bodies and we're tending to that all
the other aspects of our health, that this piece of us,
our mental health, is extremely important.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
Why is that it's important to our family? I lost
my sister fifteen years ago to a drug aber das.
We think it wouldn't happen in her families like ours.
At the time of her passing, we did up put
on her obituary how she passed away, but we realized
that was a missed opportunity. Substantive views mental health help.
(05:00):
It's behind every door in America. And I'm here to
talk as a mom and a grandma and a sister
and friend. I'm a mom of seven, I have thirteen grandkids,
and as a mom, I watched I wish I knew
now you know what I is a mom. I remember,
(05:21):
you know, one of my daughters being diagnosed with depression
and going to the pharmacy as far away as possible
from our neighborhood because as a mom, I didn't want
that stigma of getting medication or I didn't watch somebody
to judge my daughter that I was getting medication for them.
But how often do we put that self stigma, you know,
as a mom or kids trying to protect our kids
(05:43):
because we don't want to share what they're really going through.
When I checked my sister into de Talks, it was,
you know, through the back doors at night, in a
dark you know, he Talks isn't a glamorous place to go.
And I watched our family build, you know, one of
(06:04):
the most beautiful cancer centers, the Hentson Mental Health Institute,
and my dad dedicated a lot of his time and
resources to finding a cure for cancer. He said, when
people walk in the doors, I want them to feel
hope and beauty and light, and we're trying to do
that same thing with mental health. When you go in
(06:24):
to get treatment or substance use, it's not it's got
to be a place of beauty and you are greeted
with a warm blanket and encouragement and no judgment. I
look back at my sister, and I'm sure a lot
of the self stima that she put on herself. Why
am I taking drugs? My life on the outside looks perfect?
Speaker 2 (06:47):
What is wrong with me?
Speaker 4 (06:49):
And until we can look at it as a brain
disease and really allow people to be able to get
the help that they need. She suffered from an eating
disorder and so many of these things. If we can
get children the help that they need at a young age,
when they're first getting having issues, and give them the
(07:11):
tools and the resources, I want my grandchildren to not
be afraid of a diagnosis, and if they get a diagnosis,
to know that there are tools and that there are treatments,
and that they can live their best life. They don't
need to numb their pain away with substance because sometimes
that's easier. You know, it's just a you know, you
(07:33):
look at insurance, it's you know, insurance doesn't cover mental
health issues resources. You finally get up the nerve, just
tell somebody you need to see a therapist, and it's
a three month wait to get in and then insurance
well yeah, yeah, after barrier. So you just think, Okay,
I'll put that on the back burner. I'll wait and
(07:54):
do that later. But in the meantime, your brain, you know,
it needs the help.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
And it's a treatment.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
So if we can get tools and resources out to
people before they're in crisis, you know, but it all
starts with sharing your story. But how hard is it.
If you're in a workplace or you're with your family
and you get a cancer diagnosis, you're going to be
greeted with hugs and oh my gosh, what can we
(08:21):
do to support you? We'll bring meals over. But if
you are giving a mental health diagnosis or you need
to go into treatment for substance, kind of backed away
in silence and you don't get that help and encouragement.
So I think you have to look at that individual
if the self stigma that they put on themselves, and
(08:41):
it's just three steps backwards of I'm afraid to ask
for help because of how I'm going to be looked at.
And so especially as women, we need to be let me.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Ask you this.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Yeah, let me ask you this because we know that
we're dealing with different people and everybody is not viewed
the same in this converse. Right, So there's some people
we can talk about this and their treatment. People feel
like there's value to their life and so we want
to make sure they get well. Sure, then there's other
people where they may be experiencing drug addiction. They may
(09:16):
you know, people may assume there's something going on with
them mentally, but their.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Life is disposable.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
How can we view this as an all people issue
where everybody's life matters versus just certain people matter in
this conversation.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Well, you know, I use this analogy. You know, my
whole body is important from here to here. But let
me get a toothache and right here, this would matters
right now, So I would have to take all my
resources because the tooth is hurting, are hurting, and then
because it can affect the rest of my whole body
feel but when I apply the resources to that area,
(09:56):
then it gives me more relief to my body. And
so we know that there's demographics that experience more pain,
more trauma than others. But we have to realize we're
all in this together, that the whole body matters. But
when there's one particular piece of my body that's hurting more,
I have to address it more. And I think we
have to do that, and we have to, you know,
let people know that again that it does not discriminate
(10:19):
from the curve side to the country club.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
You know, look, life matters.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Life happens, and it could be financially, it could be trauma,
it could be systemic, it could be just so many
things you know that's going on. And so we need
people to know that all our brains are beautiful, that
you know, the care to this world come to choke
the choke stuff out of us. But at the end
of the day that we all hurt the same and
we can also heal differently.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
But healing is all of our birthright. And so no
matter what it is, no matter what people are going through,
you know that there's hope. And I can't say that
enough because we know that the struggle is real, but
social cover. It's just like people who you know use
drugs decide to use drugs like I did. It wasn't
like I wanted to be Oh one day, I think
I want to be a crack kid that I wanted
(11:05):
to perform one Broadway.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
It not be a kid.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
But life happens, and so you know, life has this
ebb and flows and this changes. But at the end
of the day, how can we help people get back
on track and let them know that you know what, baby,
you can still you live your best, blessed life and
you know there are a lot of people who are
cheering your own like us and like you because you
do it well. And so you know, I know this
(11:28):
is not a Bible study, but it says that you know,
faith without works is dead and that you know life
isn't the world. And so that's why you you're such
a great storyteller, and so when you're talking to people,
you're putting that life into the atmosphere and that's what
healing happens.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
That's the sneeze part.
Speaker 4 (11:45):
Will we are working on tools that we'll be able
to reach everybody that will be free resources. We have
a pilot program that we're working on in Utah. We
have six years of data partnering with the state to
get resources out and so we will be over this
next year, you know, hoping to get that to everybody,
(12:08):
no matter where they live. And it's an anonymous resource
where you will be talking to a peer support or
a therapist. And so Utah is unique that we can
create these amazing resources and tools and our work is
to get them out to everybody right now. I mean
(12:28):
we need to push out ninety eight eight. We have
nine to one one. If your house is on fire,
you know, you call nine one one. Nine eight eight
is a free resource for everybody, Nami is you know,
all around America. So there are free resources right now available.
We just want to amplify and add on to what
(12:51):
so many people are already doing. So we need to
get those resources out to everybody. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
You shared about how you all did not put in
your sister's obituary the why right, and then you also
shared about with your daughter how you made sure that
you did receive her medication at a location that allowed
it to be anonymous at fail.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
To the person that is listening to our conversation that.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Feels like I have to hide this part of me, right,
What would you share with them so that they can
turn the light on so they can see where they're
going in this process and get the healing they need.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
Yeah, I think you find your safe friends. Sometimes it's
just one person sharing their story. My youngest daughter has
had her own mental health journey, and I think this
next generation is going to change things because of her journey.
She is getting her master's and met I'll help counseling,
(14:01):
and I keep telling her because of what your lived experience,
you will be able to open doors for more people
because you have that lived experience. All of us have
a lived experience, and it's about sharing it, and sometimes
it's just sharing it for the first time. And when
we share our stories, I can't tell you how many
(14:22):
people will pull one of us aside and say, oh
my gosh, my story is similar. Where can I go
to get some pal And so I think it's just
looking around and hopefully if you're out there listening and
someone shares their story, that you in turn can look
at them back with eyes of no judgment and eyes up.
(14:46):
It would be like somebody sharing that they have stage
four cancer and they really need help. And so until
we can break the barriers down and not judge each
other for what we're going through, because I can guarantee
you during everybody's life they will deal with a mental
health crisis. They will either be on the floor or
picking somebody else up off the floor. And so sometimes
(15:08):
what we see other people struggling with, we need to
have that love and empathy. But it starts with just
finding somebody safe to share their experience.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Tan Ja was speaking with another guests today as we
were talking about how we can move through life, especially
as women, really just moving through life and we hit
danger zones. But because we're trained to condition just to
keep pushing, keep going, we ignore the signs or we
(15:41):
may not even recognize them because it may look very
similar to what we witness growing up.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Is normal.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Sure, So when you think about that, what are some
practical tell tale songs that may benefit people listening on listen,
this is your right now, you've approach yellow.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Let's get it right now right again.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
Going back to what I said earlier is that you know,
look if I fail right now and I cut my hand,
I would have to address it right then and there,
because if I didn't, I'm opening up that. You know,
it's not going to hear properly. You know, it can
turn into something else. So it could be something small,
but if I don't.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Address it, then it can turn into gangreen, it can
turn into an affection, an infection, and then there's more
stuff that needs to happen. So you know, if we
deal with it right then and there, you know, a
lot of times as women, you know, we need to
put it off because we have to take everybody first.
And that's what we are. We're life givers. But the
best work that we can do is on ourselves first.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
You know.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
We want our families to be successful, we want our
kids to have the best life, we want our husbands
to be great and do great things. Then we have
to make sure that we are doing that for ourself first.
We deserve that, you know, And so then we can
now go and give what we have been given to
someone else, you know, and I believe that when we
do that as women, when we say, you know what,
(17:07):
it's not being selfish, because self care is not being selfish.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
It's taking care of ourselves first.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
And once we do that and we get strong enough
then we have enough strength within ourselves the first of all,
take care of ourselves, but then giving back out to
the people that we love so they can be stronger.
And look, at the end of the day, we are
the best you know, knowers of who we are. And
so when we see those signs, you know, when it
gets to like, look, everybody's gonna have a bad day,
(17:33):
point blank period. But when bad days turn into bad
years or months, then we got to go. You know what,
I'm not sleeping, I'm not taking the bath because look,
I've been there. Well my husband had to put me
in the bath because I had to take in the
bath for five days because I'm so depressed. And I
went out and you know, staved the world and got
my cape on. When I come back home, you know,
I can barely take a bath. I mean, that's your talk.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Or when you know, my grandmother and my mom and
my sister died back to back to back, and I
have to be that care to go and make sure
everybody else is okay.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
But then I go back home and I'm on the
you know, on a couch in the fetal position. So
for me, I tell women on anyone, you know, know,
who you are. You know when you.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Know you need to reach out.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
We're like Christina saying, reach out to people that you
trust us, reach out to people that can be with
you on your worst day to get you to better days.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Because healing can happen. But as women, we love to give, you,
love to encourage, We like to take care of each other,
so we have to take care of ourselves first.
Speaker 4 (18:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Absolutely, So I've talked about openly many times about my
experience with depression and for myself, I have a personal
anchor that I go to when I feel in I
can feel myself just starting to get low, and it's cooking.
(18:53):
So there's two things, two ways that this is a
barometer for me. One, I mean it's space where I
can go to the cooking and it fuels me, it
gives me what I need. I call it soul food therapy.
But then there's the space where my gift turns off
and I don't have a desire to go into the kitchen.
(19:16):
So on one hand, I can use it to heal me,
and then on the other hand, if I'm not doing it,
I'm in trouble.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
And so I've talked to my family about that. They
know when I'm in the kitchen and they can hear
that gospel music blaring.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Okay, this is her healing space right now, and they
honor that, and then they get to benefit from all
the food.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
I'm mad at that part come through. And then the
other piece of that is if.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
I'm not making my way into that kitchen, which over
the maybe two months ago, I was cooking myself for
Reina every day for dinner, seven days a week.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
For Reena is a hot cereal.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Now one that's progress because I was cooking, because I
could have just not been cooking and feeding myself. But
Farena is also the first thing I ever made at
three years old, the very first.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Thing I cooked.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
So some days into it, I realized I was cooking
the serena because I was looking for comfort.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
But my daughter noticed it.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
And she called her dad and she said, something's going
on with mommy, And everybody knew to tap in with
me to say what is it. But I was fatigued
and there was a lot taking place, and I needed
to get some time to address what was going on
with me. So I know I need therapy, like I
(20:41):
don't even really understand the undercurrent of it all.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
But I know that I need to do some work
to identify what this is.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Sure, So having a piece of your life for me,
that's the one thing I would tell people. If there's
something that you do and when that thing turns off
and you're unable to do it, you know that you
are in a danger zone and it's time for you
to get some help.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Yeah, and I tell people, you know what I call it,
you know those ten levels.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
I know that if it gets for a three from me,
then I know I have to reach out to my
friends and I have to be honest with them, like
you know what I'm struggling right now, you know, And
so they know what to do.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
I have a circle of vibe.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
My therapists know who to call, and so it's people
that I trust because look, at the end of the day, women,
we should not be competing but completing each other. And
so I know that I can call this then and say, look,
you know, here's what's going on. You know I can't
see you know I'm feeling so kind of way I
feel because it questions the same way with me, I
can look.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
The worst times is when everything in my life is
going right, everything doing right.
Speaker 4 (21:45):
I'm like killing what you have to be sad about why.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
You're so you got so much going on, And then
I feel bad because I'm thinking, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
But then I can feel that fall coming in.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
And so when it gets to a three, then I
know I have to call my friends and say, look,
it's that a three or we even have a cold system,
it's that cold blue. We know, when it's that glow purple,
everybody has to come in. So I think that we
have to. Again, we're the best, you know, we know
what's best for us, and when we don't know, there's
people that we should love and trust that we can say, hey,
look this is going on, and then we can come
(22:18):
together and I can call you and I can say, look,
you know that the fog is coming in, and I
know what you're going to say is what can I do?
Speaker 2 (22:26):
You know?
Speaker 1 (22:27):
And it's been times that you know, I'll say, you
just need to come sit with me, that's all. And
you know, tell me because like I said, like I said,
depression is real and I hate it, you know, but
that's why we share all tree.
Speaker 4 (22:38):
And watching watching loved ones suffer. I know. Sometimes it's
just you know, sometimes you just have to go to
the door and stick your foot in the door and
get in and just give them a hig and just sit.
You don't have to say anything but hold their hand
and just get them through some of those dark moments
and let them know that it's okay. And like you say,
(23:01):
sometimes it's when your life is going great and people
will say.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
What is wrong?
Speaker 4 (23:05):
You werful life? You have your whole family. But you
wouldn't say that if someone was going through a chemo
and cancer. You wouldn't say, why are you in bed
se sick? You wouldn't say that.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
And let me just say this.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
You know there are things that you know we talked
about nonated and nomine. But you know, if you know
a loved one who you know is struggling, you.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Don't know what to do, you know, just say, hey,
you know so one of the best suicideologists in the country,
he said, telling you when you don't know what to say,
just ask a person this, why does it hurt?
Speaker 2 (23:37):
How can I help? Those two simple questions.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
Once you have a family member that you know that's struggling,
just say, you know what, I don't have to ask.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
You any questions.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
I'm gonna bring you some chicken because my family. Yeah,
and I'm just gonna sit here.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
You know that's been places where friends about us, we're like,
you know what, you go to bed and we'll just
lay right here. We'll just like right us right here
with you. And so you're right, But I say, you know, food, honey,
food does something for the soul.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Nourish the rain, and it nourished the mind.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
And so you know, even when you know the you
know when that was the last supper that was food involved.
And so the fact that you know that food brings
all of us together, I don't care.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
What fully you are. It does.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
It's our love language.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
It is a universal Yeah, so you can level us
at the time, but you.
Speaker 4 (24:26):
Look at one of the largest mental health crisis is loneliness,
And so what are we as women doing to help
those around us and think, Okay, it's somebody that I love,
are they lonely? What am I doing to make sure
that that luck that we're filling up that loneliness gap
(24:47):
and they don't have to yeel that way.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
And that's why I love your podcast. I mean, I'm
watching and it is so genius. I wish I had
thought of it because it says stale while because in
the world right now where we're just like, hey, wash,
you know what's going on? Hey, you know everything's fast
paced cookie cutter not cookie cutter. I'm sorry, but you know, microwave,
and you're like, no, let's just sit down these beautiful
one shares, stay a while, get some coffee, let me,
(25:12):
let me make you some what what is.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
It, let's stop blue beery biscuits? What you Yeah, exactly?
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Yeah, right, and then before you know, we're breaking brand
and we're just sharing.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
Yeah, that's genie.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
Yeah, we got to get away from being transactional and
more relational. So we know that you all have a
ton of resources that we can share with people. So
what I would like to get from you is that
information so we can put it in the show notes.
So if people are listening, they have an area where
they can go and we'll make sure we have those
(25:45):
details available for you in our show notes. Because mental wellness,
everybody deserves to have a healthy mind, a healthy everything,
but everything starts in the mind.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
The mind is the battlefield, and so we want.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
To make sure that you have the tools that you
need so that you are able to live the life
that you deserve. To have because mental wellness is your birthright.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
And you know, people deserve to live and we call
that eliapy live in freedom every day. So I always
tell people I'm all about that life helping people to
live in freedom every day.
Speaker 4 (26:22):
And you know what, sometimes all it's gonna all you
have time for is to sit and take ten deep breaths.
But at least do that for yourself every single day.
Because it's women, moms, grandma's, sisters, friends, women in the workplace.
We're on that Gerbil wheel and sometimes it's years before
we get off. But if we can just take even
(26:43):
a minute and take ten deep breaths and just say, okay,
I am here, I am here. So thank you so
much for giving us this opportunity, right, I am so
great to share our stories. We have a story that
is worth telling.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
I thank you so much for you're joining me today
at the Stale Wild Table and providing us with some
necessary information life healing, life changing, life giving and know
you're welcome here any time.
Speaker 4 (27:12):
Thank you so much, thank you, thank you
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