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June 23, 2022 32 mins

Victoria Garrick is a mental health advocate for young women and athletes. A former Division I college volleyball player, Victoria has amassed over a million followers across social media where she's known for her unfiltered campaign, #RealPost.

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Speaker 1 (00:03):
I'm Sam Edis and I'm Amy Nelson. Welcome to What's
Her Story? With Sam and Amy. This is a show
about the world's most remarkable women, their professional and personal journeys. Together,
we'll hear from gold medalists, best selling authors, and leaders
of the world's most iconic brands. Listen every Thursday or
join the conversation anytime on Instagram at What's Her Story Podcast.

Victoria Garrick is a mental health advocate for young women
and athletes. She's also a former Division one volleyball player
and has amassed one point five million followers across social media,
where she's known for her unfiltered campaign hashtag real post.
You have nearly half a million followers on Instagram. How

did you amass such a big social media following. I
never thought I want to be an influencer and I
want to gain a following, and like, how do I
map this out and do it? Which is ironic because
everything else in my life up until the time I
was probably nineteen did feel like a plan. I sat
down and I was like, this is what I want

this whole achieve it with social media. It was really
a snowball effect. I was studying journalism. At USC, I
thought I wanted to be a you know, sports broadcaster,
But at the same time, I was also a student athlete.
I played on the LiveBall team there, and it was
this weird tug of war because I would be reporting

and writing articles on athletes and their stats and their
performance and you know, just all the things that a
general audience member could take from their game. But then
I was living and feeling something completely different as an athlete,
which was what was really going on off the court
inside of me that wasn't great, and that I was

struggling with anxiety and depression and body image issues, and
so I kind of realized there's this other story that
really needs to be told because no one's talking about it,
and I feel like I'm so alone in this. But
a long story short, there was an email came through
TED Talks was coming to U s C. I happened
to see the email. I had, I think, twenty four

hours to apply. I knew immediately I wanted to talk
about athlete mental health. I never thought about, like, I
want to give a TED Talk. How do I seek
it out? Like the email came into the inbox, as
it did everyone else at the school, and I applied.
I gave the Ted talk, and then that really kind
of caught fire throughout the athletic community, and then more
people kind of flocked to my Instagram and my Facebook,

messaging me, commenting, and then that's when I started to realize, Okay,
well I have more to share, I have more to say.
So I continued storytelling on my own platforms, and then
you know, you start a YouTube channel, You do that
for a year, another year, and then things grow and
we are here where we are today. End. Did you
feel like, okay, it's okay to talk about mental health

issues because even though so many young women and girls
suffer from them, very few feel comfortable sharing that aspect
of their life publicly. I realized that this was a
life or death conversation, and so I didn't even have
the wherewithal or the pause to be like, what are
people going to think? Oh? Like you know, I was

just like, we need to talk about this, and I
felt so almost I want to likely use the word
like furious, because I had been an athlete my whole life.
I'd never heard about a performance anxiety or you know,
being on your dream team and being depressed, and so
when this became my reality, which it then took me

like a year to really understand what I was thinking,
what I was feeling, to put words to it, to
see a therapist to start to get better. That when
I started to realize, hey, this is really really hard,
and this is not just me. I know, it's my teammates,
I know it's other people. No one's talking about it.
That's really what gave me, I guess, the courage to

just be so candid about it was because I knew
that the message needed to be shared. I knew people
would would resonate with it, and it was like I
believed in the conversation more than I was thinking about
myself or how people would perceive me. Um. So, you know,
when I was preparing to give this talk, and mind you,
you know, I have my parents who have done everything

they could have ever done my whole life to make
sure I was happy and had everything I'd wanted. And
my mom, I remember, was the one who said, are
you sure you want to share all of this? You know?
And it came from the I'm love my mom, She's
my best friend. It came from the best place. This
was no one was talking about this She was like,
you know, this is going to be on the internet forever.

Your future employers are going to see this. Um, are
you sure you want to talk about the suicidal ideation
on the bike? Like? Can we just remove that? You know,
little my mom's trying to protect me. That was really
the only time or instance I can remember someone being like,
I don't know if you should be this candid, But
I pushed back and said, you know, mom, this is

the truth. This is really how I felt, and I
share that not my mom is the best mom in
the world. And I might have done the same thing
and the same circumstance with a daughter who knows, but
I don't know. For me, I just had this knowing
that I needed to say everything. How did you go
about putting the talk together? Ted Talks came to s USC,
which is like TED x USC. They were going to

take six speakers. So I actually had already had a
notes page in my phone of like various things my
whole life, I've kind of, you know, pretended to be
a main character and just written down my thoughts and
feelings on plane rides and whatever. So I had detailed
remember this. One morning, I was late and for a
drug test, and so I was crying and the whole

team was gonna have to run and I had the
test and I literally just was like, I'm like, I
just like a dear diary in my phone, which then
ended up being the opening to my talk, which is
like this you know scenario where I put the audience
in my shoes and say this is what you have
to do. That came from like a deer diary entry
on my phone. So I was a journalism student. I

did love storytelling. I had that kind of in me.
It wasn't like I, you know, didn't have any background
in um, you know, being on stage or in front
of a camera. So that definitely served me well. Um Also,
you know, I definitely am like a type a person.
I do everything to the nines. I'm super thorough. I've

always been a good communicator. There were definitely a lot
of like innate qualities in me that I think primed
me to deliver like a really good TED talk at
nineteen with no public speaking experience, Like I was always
the girl who maybe didn't work on the group project,
but you better bet I showed up and I presented
it to the whole class. In high school like that
was always my role. So those things helped. UM. I

definitely reached out to, you know, my closest high school
english professor who I really trusted and said, I'm going
to give this talk, like can I run you know,
ideas through you? And UM he was helpful. My current
sports psychologist that I was in therapy with, I also
had conversations with her about you know, high level like
what are you saying? What does this mean? And so
I did have like those two mentors who I hopped

on maybe one or two phone calls with UM and
then yeah, I mean I never my dad, I think,
when he knew I was going to give a talk,
bought me one of those like Ted talk books. I
never read it. As much as I am type A,
I also love winging things and I'm like the queen
of leaving everything to the last second. And I remember
before going on stage, I actually hadn't rehearsed it. I

have been rehearsing it, of course, but not like many
many times. And right before I went on stage, I
was like starting to blink because I also memorized everything verbatim.
Because I've never given a talk before, I didn't have
the experience to be like, here's my high level subject.
Let me, you know, ramble on that for three minutes,
which maybe I can do that now. So I memorized

the entire eighteen minutes word for word. UM, and yeah,
I don't. And you know, you know, in that moment
I started to blink the I was about to go
on stage, and I just said, Victoria, even if you
did no prep, pen, you had no idea what you
were going to say, Like, you could go talk about
this for fifteen minutes because it's your life and it
matters to you. So I also think I just came

back to like the fact that I was speaking about
something I cared about. I don't think I could have
ever given a TED talk on chemistry. Victoria, wended your
own journey with mental health start and if you could
share with us what that's been like even until today. Yes,
So I did not struggle with anxiety or depression until college.
Looking back, I definitely UM have struggled with body image

and food since I was probably thirteen years old. And
at the time, you know, I thought, oh, well, like
everyone's on a diet, everyone weighs themselves, everyone tries to
lose you know, two pounds a week before the school dance. Like,
I didn't think any of that was disordered or unhealthy
or toxic, you know, And in hindsight, it's like if
you're fourteen drinking a slim quick shake, something's wrong. So

you know, those issues definitely had been there throughout childhood.
And then in college, you know, I had never experienced
anything like the performance anxiety I was hit with as
a college athlete. I was always confident, the go getter.
I mean, I earned a starting spot as a true
freshman because I was that confident and that fearless. And

then we're weeks into season and the pressure has mounted.
Practices intense, were undefeated, the number one team in the country,
and that's when I really start to break down. And
and it was a shift in me that I have
never felt anything like before. Just no confidence, um constantly

thinking of the worst case scenario, constantly assuming everyone was
out to get me, I was going to make a mistake,
you know, hands shaking, eyes watering with tears, unable to
sleep at night, and just being like, what's going on?
And I actually, when I was cleaning out some boxes
the other day, I found like my college journal, and
I have this whole paragraph where I detail performance anxiety,

but I didn't know what it was. I was like,
I don't know why I can't sleep at night and
why I always think about making mistakes and I'm not confident,
Like I didn't know what it was because I hadn't
had that conversation. And how about today. I feel very
happy now and and in tune with my emotions. And

if anything, it's something I have to think about, is
how long can I continue in you advocating and kind
of recalling this traumatic time in my life as much
as it is for the betterment of current student athletes.
And I know the conversation is still important, Like I've
been doing this since and I'm happy now when I'm

planning a wedding and I'm not depressed, and I'm not
an athlete, and it's hard for me to go to
schools and speak and really mentally put myself in their
shoes when I work so hard to get out of them.
So I am in a great place, and I think
I try my best now to balance that with also
the experience I have that is also work. I'm passionate about.

If you had to give a TED talk today, what
would it be about if I had to give a
TED talk. I think I'd want to talk about the
fact that finding meaning, purpose and success in life doesn't
have to come through achievement and going to the top
school and being on the top team and having followers
and money and being a New York Times best selling

author and all these things that we are like raised
in condition to believe that like equate to happiness, actually don't,
and that it's enough to just want to have a
joyous life. And when you think about people you encounter,
I mean, when I meet someone who's happy and joyful
and they're radically authentic, that is inspiring. I could count

the people on my hand the few people who I
think are joyous and genuine and that actually impacts and
inspires me when I'm around them. And so it's like
the way that we can change the world by being
ourselves and cultivating happiness can cause the ripple and the
person you meet in the next person you meet and
change the world. You don't have to be the next
Oprah win through the next few jobs. And you know,

that's like something I've been sitting with a lot recently
because as much as my whole career has come out
of the anti you don't have to be perfect, you
don't have to look perfect. I kind of got lost
in Okay, well, I'm gonna be the best influencer who
talks about being real, Like I'm gonna be the most
popular influencer who encourages you to be yourself. It's like

the achievement snuck back in, and so now I'm trying
to dial back to, like, you know, how can I
manifest happiness in my life and not worry about what's
happening externally? Are you joyous? Yes? I would say that
I am. There's definitely uh. I think there's one main
thing in my life I wish could be different which

would make me more joyous. I think I thrive off
of talking to people and interacting with people. And I
am self employed and I work for myself, and I'm
alone a lot of the time, and it's fairly hard
for me to just create environments Like I miss middle
school when you would show up in seventh grade and
you all took math class and science together and you've
got to go to recess. It was just fun. And
I think now as an adult, you have to like

make plans to hang out with people, and I think
I I would love to find a way to have
more community in my everyday life. I've thought about maybe
I want to do like improv classes. I'm not an actor,
I'm not a comedian, but it would just be fun
to go somewhere with no phones or computers and be
uncomfortable with other humans. So I don't know. That's why
I'm trying to work on. But overall, yeah, i'd say

I'm joyous. And now a quick break. Can you envision
a life where your not online as much for you,
you aren't speaking to your social media following, where that
isn't happening. What does that look like for me? It
does actually make me really happy when I have a
creative idea and I get to execute it and make
it happen and then put it out into the world

and like see comments that it's helped people. So that
definitely does make me happy and bring me joy. I
do think I've realized that there's happy medium. So I've
had to kind of think about, you know, how can
I compartmentalize the fact that, yes, this is my job
and so I have to do it, but also I

want to make sure that I don't pass away. And
if you know, the Higher Power broadcasted the hours I
spent on my phone that it doesn't equate till like
twenty years. That would like I think discussed me right,
But I think I'm on that track. So I can't
imagine myself maybe not online because I also have to
support myself and make money. So it's it's interesting, but

I also love my job. I'd rather be doing what
I'm doing than like doing something I hate. How long
does it take you to make a real video? It depends.
I mean, I you know, a few weeks ago, I
had this thought on boundaries, and so I pull out
my phone and it takes sixty seconds to just record
my thoughts and put that out into the world. Other times,

if I have, you know, an idea of a video
I want to make, where maybe one parts in the kitchen,
the next parts on the couch, the next parts outside,
it takes a little longer, but it's fun. I mean,
when I was in like sixth grade, I used to
make videos and music videos with my friends, and so
I love the creative process for sure. Is there a

team behind you and I are your videos planned out?
I have like three people who worked for me part time,
who like assist with various things, whether it's communications and scheduling,
help with the podcast. In terms of content, I really,
I mean I do it all myself. I think that's
also a misconception. Is you know we see in the movies,
you know, an agent in Los Angeles saying I want

to make you a star, and they pull you out
of a coffee shop and they like, do everything you
need to do and you become the next Taylor Swift.
Really it's not like that, And in this industry, you're
not going to find anyone who's going to say, here's
what you have to do, and I'm gonna help you
do it. Like No, they're either doing it because they're
getting a cut of your money they want to make
money off of you, or it's a friend who's meeting
you for coffee and maybe they are genuine for that hour,

but their life isn't dedicated to like helping you with
your brand. So for the most part, I would say,
like creators, it's coming from their brain, their creativity. They're
making the videos, they're doing everything. I very recently try
to create a method to the madness by hiring like
a content specialist who I meet with every Monday, and
we go over like, what's coming up this week. You know,

Tomorrow I'm trying my my wedding dress. I'm going for
my first dress fitting. So we we realized that on Monday.
We then are pulling some ideas that I can film
in the moment, you know, when I'm in the car,
can I take a video talking about how I'm feeling,
And then when I get back in the car, can
I talk about how it went. So I do plan
it in the sense now that I'm thinking ahead, but

I have no idea what I'm posting today. You know,
it might come to me. Um, we could finish the podcast.
I'll be like, we talked about something amazing. I want
to find a photo and write a caption that really
coincides with that. So, you know, it's intuitive, it's a lot.
It's definitely an entrepreneurial life. Do you take breaks. I
actually hadn't been really thinking about that ever, and I

kind of worked with the rest of the world, you know,
Monday through Friday nine to five, when like my fiance
is working, I'm going to work too. But oh wait,
on Saturday and Sunday, I'm also posting because that's when
everyone's on their phones and they're not working. So I
realized I was kind of like working all the time,
and even when I finished working on a Wednesday at six,
like with what I have to do if Max comes

home when we start cooking, or um, you know, something happens,
or I try on address and it's too small. It's
like I might think I want to pull out my
my phone and like document this experience because it's on
brand and it's helpful. So I realized I had no
boundaries and I didn't take time off. So now I
have been more mindful about that, like the days I
do put my phone away and it's away and I'm

going to enjoy my night. Or sometimes I will take
a Tuesday off or a Thursday off because I know
I need to work on Saturday and Sunday. So I've
been kind of leaning into that more. And it's only
something I've recently become aware of. How did you meet
your fiancee? UM? We met in college. He we both
played sports at USC and so we met UM freshman year.

But then, you know, it took me a year to
realize he was he was a good guy, and I
should I should go on a date with him. So
then my sophomore year, I went out with him, and uh,
we've been together for six years. You've now worked with
thousands of young women and girls. Have you noticed any
patterns about confidence and body image and the evolution of that? Yes,

I feel like and I can only, you know, make
this educated assumption because I'm current. You know, I'm not
fifteen right now experiencing what they are, and I'm coming
out from a different lens. But if I think about
the fact that when I was in high school, the
body image issues and dysmorphia and insecurities that I felt

without TikTok, without the influencer, without all of those things,
like and I was suffering, I can only imagine how
that's been amplified now by the way that young girls
wake up, grab their phone and then are waking up
to a photo of Kylie Jenner in a bikini. I mean,

and that does something to you and it makes you
think about how you look. And I just think that
constant access to this perception of beauty that is unattainable,
not often real, right, if there's photoshop or they're posting
saying that they ate this for lunch, but they really
didn't need that for lunch. And there's filters, and there's

other people in your class whose parents do allow them
to be on every platform and you're not allowed. So
are you missing out on the social things? And the
cute guy that you have a crush on or girl
is on Snapchat and you're not on Snapchat? Like so,
I think we're seeing, you know, the highest rate of
mental health issues we've seen. I mean, we're in a
mental health crisis and it's sad and it's terrifying, and

I have no idea like how I would want to
handle it when I have kids one day. I do
find it so interesting that even the idealized bodies have
changed over the course of the last ten years, and
I wonder how that impacts body image definitely. I Mean
when when my mom was growing up, it was being

as thin as possible, like Cindy Crawford, you know, Twiggy,
that was the ideal. Um, no one wanted a huge butt,
Like having a big butt was like a bad thing,
And now everyone wants to have a big butt. You know,
before no one really thought about your eyebrows or your
lips or like contour and now everyone wants these huge
lips and these really thick eyebrows and contour and like

the same way fashion trends change, I think, of course,
without a doubt, we're going to see the beauty standard
change in a couple of years or I mean, it
changes every single day. Whatever Haley Bieber and Kendall Jenner
where today and how they do their hair, like, that's
going to influence people. It influences me, Like I love
Haley Beeper. I think she's gorgeous and I love her fashion.

So of course it's changing. But I think the important
thing to point out is, like all of this is
basically you know diet culture, and how diet culture works
is by convincing you that you are not good enough
the way you are UM, and then presenting a new
standard that you need to be UM. That's going to change,

and it's going into continuous changed. That's the secret. They
don't tell you that you can never actually reach that
point UM, but they'll convince you you can, and then
they will sell you or tell you to do different
diets or work out or squat or drink this, do
that by this, and you will get closer to that.
And then when every when it doesn't work and you
don't get there, never blame diet culture. Oh no, no, no, no,

blame yourself. You don't have willpower, you couldn't do it.
You're not good enough. Try again, by again. And so
when I really kind of took a step back and
realized that that's how the billion dollar diet industry was functioning,
you're able to realize this is ridiculous. I'm never going
to get a magic wand waved over me that says

you are beautiful in every way and you're perfect and
you never have to change. Because even the Gigi headids
and the Kim Kardashi they don't get that Wand there's
people who think they're not pretty enough. There to this,
there to that. So it's complex. It's deeply rooted in
our society in the way we talk, especially rely with
you know, the generations before us. So hopefully by having

conversations like this, we can kind of open the eyes
of of everyone and kind of phase that out. Someone
with your voice and the audience you have must also
become a receptacle of people's problems, whether it's them contacting
you after a speech or writing to you, or connecting

with you on a direct message. How involved do you get?
Where do you draw that line? I would say that
years of this has definitely desensitized me, and it like
hurts my heart a little bit to say that, but
you do eventually get to a place where it happens
so frequently, and it's every single day, like within every

single hour that I am able to just kind of
turn it off and like just notice this email like
saving for admin, like not for me, like because I've
had to protect my energy and way. And also if
I were to stop and respond to every single message,
I couldn't even do what I'm doing. That is warranting

people sending the messages in the first place, and I
know that they would want me to continue doing what
I'm doing because it was impactful for them. So it's
also like not realistic for me to put the expectation
on myself to be able to respond and be there
for everyone and like and hold that space, because sometimes
I can't even hold space for the people in my
life who I do love and who I am supposed
to hold space for and I asked as a show

for so you know, I would say time has helped
because in the beginning I thought I had to do it,
reply to everyone and make everything okay. So time has
helped um, you know, really understanding my boundaries has helped.
I talked about in therapy. You know, I've I've had
I have had yes to kind of set limits there
and also give myself permission to do that as well.

And now a quick break. A lot of what we
talk about on this show is women and money, because
is there is such a huge relationship between a woman
having freedom in her life and having the ability to
choose her own path and being financially independent. What role

has money played in your life and how do you
think about it for your future. It's so funny that
you asked this, because like, I just came off my
bachelorette and you know, I got an influx of questions saying,
you know, this looks so lavish, or like how did
you afford this? Or who bought what? And it's like
I know in my and of course I know in

my life, like who bought what, the money that I make,
what I what I spent on this x y Z.
I'm almost afraid to have that conversation online because of judgment,
because I think it is hard for women to talk
about money for so many reasons. So it's like I
shy away from the conversation, which I question too. I'm like,
should I shy away? Like? I also think too with

the work that I do, it's like people like to
think I don't money, like I don't know if it
registers for people, Like when you see an ad on
my page, I'm being paid for that, I think. I
definitely love being financially independent, paying for myself. In my relationship,
I'm the breadwinner. My fiance works in real estate. I

know the day we buy a house, everyone will think
he bought it for us when he didn't. Like So,
you know, I think about things like that, just constantly
being the underdog and people thinking I don't make money,
and and and vice versa. I definitely do come from
privilege and I and I grew up in a family
that was able to provide me with opportunities, and I
don't have college debt, and so you know, those things

are extremely significant. Okay, we have to do the speed round,
So we asked a few quick questions. Who leaves you starstruck?
Who leaves me starstruck? Taylor Swift, will you be changing
your name? After you get married, I'm going to be
adding it. So I'll be Victoria Garrick Brown and then
I'll probably slowly phase out Garrick, but legally, yes, I
will be Victoria Brown. What show are you watching right now?

I am watching that new dinosaur documentary thing where they
like they have you guys seen that? It's everyone's watching
it right now. It's basically like David Attenborough and it's
I think it's called a Prehistoric World and everyone needs
to watch it. What is your morning routine? My morning
routine is either one of two things. The first is

snooze my alarm, check my phone in bed, put on pgs,
and start working with unbrushed hair. Or it is I
wake up at six thirty, I got outside on a walk,
I exercise, I come back, I have athletic greens, I meditate,
and then I start working at eight am. You never
know what you're gonna get with me. Well, Luke Burns
has been listening to our interview and he always comes
in at the very end with the male perspective, so

he'll be asking question the final question when you got
so I guess courageous enough to to put it all
the pen of paper in in to talk about it.
Were you previously Were you like a person that was
lying about those say issues, I wasn't lying about it.
I probably was withholding the truth. I think I was

worried that if I told someone, hey, I'm really anxious
or I'm really depressed, that that would mean my coach
would bench me. Why would he play someone who was anxious,
My teammates wouldn't trust me. Um, my parents would fly
down to school and like, take me, but I want
to stay here. You know. I think I just didn't
want anyone to know what was really going on, for

fear of how that would affect the situation, which was
one that I really did want. I was playing and
I was on my dream team and I was at
my dream school. So I think I just didn't tell
anyone because I didn't know how it would be received. Um.
And then once I slowly started to talk to people

about it, and then I went to counseling, and I realized,
you know, that it was okay, and that I was
still a great volleyball player and my coach wasn't to
bench me, And this is common, and this is why
it happened to me, Like I felt so confident in
that that then I was able to kind of take
the ted talk stage, and I feel like I was
three steps forward. So when someone asked you if you're

like when you were really filling down, when someone asked
you how are you doing and you told them you
were good, I think it was less than I was
trying to lie. If I'm thinking of a situation where
someone was like, how how are you and I was
not good, I probably would like maybe start to cry
and be like stressed, like not good. Like I would

probably cry, but I would wait for them to say, no,
really tell me what's going on. How do you feel.
It's like I wanted them to push me and say
I want to know I care about you, and I
would have taken the opportunity. It was almost like I
was waiting for someone to do that um and so
if they didn't, I would kind of keep its surface level.

So Sam, I think one of the most interesting things
about Victoria, and there are so many, is that she
seems like she's at this crossroads where she's asking do
I continue to stand in this place of being a
mental health advocate for something that is becoming further and
further in my rear view mirror. You know, after our conversation,
I had a chance to download with my sixteen year

old Ella, who was the first person to sort of
turn us on to Victoria, and she was sharing that
when Victorias speaks to young girls, it is so powerful
and so transformative for their mental health. And I found
it interesting that she was questioning, whether you know, she's
not suffering now, so can she be this advocate? And

I feel more strongly than ever before, that she should be.
She should continue with the work she's done and continue
to try to inspire young girls. I think there's such
a place for that. But I also think that you know,
she's getting married. As you evolve in your life phases,
sometimes you think you have to leave a part of
your career behind, and it's probably too early to do that.

And hopefully she'll she'll come to that judgment on her own.
I mean, maybe maybe she's an even better speaker on
the issue now because even though she has moved into
this more joyous place in her life, Like it shows
that you can, despite all of the challenges for young
women today, despite you know all of it, right, like,

you can get to this place of joy and happiness
in moving forward exactly. Thanks for listening to What's Her
Story with Sam and Amy. We would appreciate it if
you leave her review wherever you get your podcasts, and
of course, connect with us on social media at What's
Her Story podcast. What's Her Story with Sam and Amy

is powered by my company, The Riveter at the Riveter
dot Co and Sam's company, park Place Payments at park
place Payments dot com. Thanks to our producer Stacy Para
and our male perspective Blue Burns
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