Becoming a "Sweater Guy" with Dean McDermott

Actor Dean McDermott (Tori Spelling's husband) stops by to hang with Jana and Mike. They reveal some of the advice he unknowingly shared with them long ago. He’s been through a similar journey, coming back from infidelity, and he opens up about the challenges that come with rebuilding a relationship.

Plus, when a woman says she doesn’t want a big gift for the holidays… does she really mean it??

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Wind Down with jam and Kramer and Michael Coffin and
I'm her radio podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
I have so much to say because I have not
caught up with Sarah since the Wine Down tour stuff.
We were in Chicago and Michigan and and Louisville. So
the bus rolls in. About what time do we get
in that too, like.

Speaker 3 (00:22):
Two in the morning. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
I didn't even see you, Sarah when you left. Yeah, yeah,
because your flight ended up changing. There was drama, you guys. Okay,
so there was. We were living on the bus for
four days something like that, and there was so much
crap in the back seat or the back part of
the lounge that things were just like being thrown into bags.
So the next morning, so tired, Jolie has school, so

(00:47):
I just kind of like blindly put my clothes on,
grab my bag. I'm in the car driving to her preschool.
I walk in and I look in my bag. I've
got the bottle of bullet in in my purse. So,

(01:07):
for those who don't know bullet is, it's all my drinks.
And I mean it's an opened bottle of bullet like
half drank. And I'm like, if anyone stops for me,
right now, who opens my bag? Like mom of the year,
Like I walked into her preschool with an open bottle
of bullet Mom of the year, That is like what

(01:32):
it wud been so great? I would have gotten pulled over.
I didn't like officer. I swear I don't drink bullet,
Like I know what this looks like. Wait, I'm well
aware that is how did he who knows people? We
just were like putting things in.

Speaker 4 (01:47):
Oh it was a night.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
But I'm just like if you I was just in
my head, I'm like, how would I explain this to
a like the principal preschool.

Speaker 3 (01:55):
Lady and then a I guess all of a sudden
joys school. Now it randomly does backcheck.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
What if I would have fallen and like a bullet
like women everywhere, I would if someone grabbed my back,
I don't know, like you just start thinking, or what
if I opened it and be like, oh, Julie, here's
your water bottle. Then Miss Tina sees the other bottle
in there, I'm just like, wow, mortified.

Speaker 4 (02:19):
Mike's just happy his bullet made at home.

Speaker 3 (02:22):
Yeah, absolutely, Hey guys, Hey, hey I'm not hungover anymore.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
Oh that was speaking of hungover.

Speaker 3 (02:31):
Though.

Speaker 2 (02:33):
We had a little issue because I told Mike what
time we were leaving your wedding at Sarah on the
tour bus.

Speaker 5 (02:40):
So she already booked their flights. Mark was looking at
me like, what the wedding already happened?

Speaker 2 (02:47):
No, no, no, the wedding obviously is in February. But I
booked the flights and I didn't pook the first flight
out like I'm usually the first flight out, because I
want to be back home with the kids.

Speaker 6 (02:59):
Mike shaking it.

Speaker 2 (03:00):
So I booked a ten o'clock fly, which is like,
you know, just enough time to wake up, Yes, just
enough time, honey, what time would you like to leave
the wedding at or leave the hotel at.

Speaker 3 (03:16):
Six pm that night? Last flight? I'm I'm more of
a like last flight out kind of guy. After especially
a wedding like this, I'm already telling you. I've been
giving you months ahead of time, like when we knew
what when Sarah's getting married, And I was like, I'm
going to be in rare form. You're probably gonna have
to put me to bed. I don't know what's gonna happen,

(03:36):
so let's not take the first flight out.

Speaker 4 (03:38):
No, we were.

Speaker 5 (03:39):
I'm like, Jenna is for sure, Mike's gonna be a
couple of bullets and maybe some champagne. Genna's just gonna
get on a red eye that night and leave you.
You're gonna wake up in the hotel room alone.

Speaker 3 (03:48):
Fine, fine, totally fine, it's gonna.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
I just let him open by the way his first
we like to. I have a really hard time keeping
presence for Mike, and so I got one of those
Have you ever seen those curate drink works? Yeah, yeah,
they're amazing you. Actually, it's like what if you walked
around with the pod. It's like basically like a cureg pod.
It's made by Care two, but it has like a

(04:12):
margarita or a mohido or as. It's so cool. So
it'll just be you like with this mug with your
carry on. It's just like sep well because like you
don't know, but.

Speaker 5 (04:23):
Like most people's hangover start kicking in around ten eleven, right, so.

Speaker 3 (04:30):
Ely, I will still be drunks. A might not let
me throw it.

Speaker 4 (04:32):
Oh, you're literally gonna be.

Speaker 2 (04:33):
You were in charge then of changing the tickets if
you want, I know, can we meet in the middle
six is too late, because then we couldn't put.

Speaker 7 (04:39):
The well, checkout times got to happen at some point
eleven or twelve.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
Exactly, Yes, great point.

Speaker 7 (04:44):
Mark, thank you, thank you.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
What about like kicking me out too?

Speaker 5 (04:49):
He's going to be he's gonna be like the what's
it called the the maids are going to knock on
the door and just enter them and might have you passed.

Speaker 4 (04:57):
Out and naked on the bed like alone.

Speaker 2 (04:59):
They're going to be like, what alone? And afraid.

Speaker 3 (05:03):
Jana's gone? Are you texting me that she landed back
home and is with the kids?

Speaker 1 (05:08):
What are you.

Speaker 2 (05:08):
Asking for for Christmas?

Speaker 5 (05:09):
Sarah?

Speaker 2 (05:10):
Since this is our last Christmas?

Speaker 4 (05:16):
What am I asking for for Christmas?

Speaker 2 (05:18):
Mike got you two things that just got delivered today.

Speaker 6 (05:24):
What?

Speaker 2 (05:25):
Yeah, it's little, it's little.

Speaker 3 (05:27):
It's just something I saw and I could.

Speaker 4 (05:28):
Not what What's she's talking about? How kind of a soul?
What a gent?

Speaker 2 (05:35):
And I was like you what?

Speaker 1 (05:36):
No?

Speaker 4 (05:37):
I mean I know she was like, did you get
my presence yet?

Speaker 2 (05:42):
I don't want anything?

Speaker 4 (05:44):
I know you actually probably don't want anything.

Speaker 1 (05:45):
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (05:45):
I haven't I've been like a little busy normally. You know,
I have my list a month ago, But I don't.
I just something I really like as presents. I like
shoes as present. And I know that sounds like, oh,
she likes shoes, But I just feel like there's a
lot of memory because like I have, you know, I
have shoes from ten years ago that I still wear,
you know, and you do too, and we wear them
to the death, and I just think it's a nice momentum.

Speaker 4 (06:07):
I lose jewelry, I lose, you know, I lose a
lot you have.

Speaker 3 (06:11):
Wait, so you do you guys tie shoes and memory together?
Just like like no, I'm saying no, not tie tie
like put together shoes. You're like when you go to
put on a pair of shoes, like, oh I remember, I.

Speaker 7 (06:26):
Do really well.

Speaker 4 (06:28):
But no, not like you know, a nice pair I get.

Speaker 5 (06:31):
I have a nice pair that I remember, you know,
like oh I got these for my birthday, Ty got
me these for Valentine's Day. Yeah, not like my Nikes,
not my kicks.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
But well, it's just interesting because I wonder if that's
going to change for because now that we have kids,
people are asking and we're not even really doing presents
in our family anymore. Because it's like, I don't want.
I don't need anything. I don't want anything like I
have my kids, and I think that's and I never
understood that when when my parents would say that when
we were kids, I was like.

Speaker 3 (06:58):
What do you mean?

Speaker 2 (06:59):
You don't want something? And now I'm just like, I
don't want anything. I just I just want my I
want my family, and I want to have a great
dinner and some quality time and maybe watch a movie
on Christmas night. And I want them to be happy.
I want to see them.

Speaker 4 (07:13):
Yeah, honestly write that down. But I feel like you weren't.

Speaker 2 (07:16):
Like because I told you. I was like, I don't,
I really don't. I asked for a necklace about mommy necklace,
but Lola and James uh turning it to me. So
I was just like anything, I feel like it's.

Speaker 4 (07:26):
Just sentimental things. I like sentimental things, and that.

Speaker 2 (07:29):
A picture with the kids, A handwritten letter that is like.

Speaker 4 (07:33):
Golden to Mike, A hand written letter.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
Maybe oh yeah, which comes to another great topic.

Speaker 6 (07:43):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
We need to tease the guests though, because I'm really
excited about the guest. Dean McDermott is coming in. He's
married to Tory Spelling and they have a very interesting past, public,
public past, and they were one of the couples that I,
having away always looked up to in a weird way
because of their ability to own it in such a

(08:07):
public way. And I just have a lot of respect
for that. So he's going to be a guest on
our show today and I'm super excited about that. I'm
excited to stay tuned for that.

Speaker 3 (08:17):
But hold, let me ask you about the presents real quick.
So I feel like women will say that, right, I
really don't want anything. I want that if a guy
actually said, all right.

Speaker 4 (08:27):
Oh you're dead cool.

Speaker 2 (08:30):
No no, no, no time out, time out, time out,
if you didn't do anything, I actually would be kind
of bummed. But the one thing that I would want
is because I would want at least that sentimental gift.
It's the time in which you maybe drew Jolie's hand
and you guys wrote me like, that's the stuff that
the sentiment. It's the sentimental stuff that like that. It

(08:53):
could be you know, a simple.

Speaker 4 (08:55):
Okay by a question answer okay.

Speaker 2 (08:57):
So I don't need the shoes. I don't need because
it's like, yeah, I'm good, honestly, but I still would
like something special. I guess Okay, so there you go.
It's not that I don't want anything.

Speaker 4 (09:06):
I want.

Speaker 2 (09:07):
I would love something special that but I knew that
didn't take a lot of It is not a lot
of money, but it took some thoughts.

Speaker 5 (09:16):
Okay, So no, no, I was just gonna say on
the flip side, because you know, if you say I
don't want anything, no you do and or not you
but I mean me, I want something.

Speaker 2 (09:27):
But is there No, it's because you don't have kids. Yeah,
I promise you it'll change you. I truly will. You'll
have everything.

Speaker 5 (09:33):
Okay, but is there something special about Like let's say you.

Speaker 4 (09:38):
Say Mike, I don't want anything.

Speaker 5 (09:39):
I don't want anything, and he gives you a handwritten
letter from Jolie and you think that's your present, but
then all of.

Speaker 4 (09:44):
A sudden he got you.

Speaker 5 (09:48):
A new no like Gucci purse or something that that
you weren't expecting, you didn't want, and it was just like, wow,
I didn't even you know that.

Speaker 2 (09:57):
Every once in a while, Sure that'd be so cool.
Sure I think it'd be a pleasant surprise. And I
think anyone would kind of want to feel special.

Speaker 3 (10:05):
I could honestly say, like if Jane and I were like,
I don't believe you if if if we agreed and
we said, hey, we're not we're just gonna save money
because we go we tend to go a little overboard
with each other because we're both just very generous.

Speaker 2 (10:17):
Last year we said a four hundred dollars budget for
each other.

Speaker 3 (10:20):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we went past that. So anyways, so
really I didn't. Okay, regardless, I could honestly be like,
all right, if we agree, hey, we're not gonna spend
any money on each other at all and not do anything,
I'll be okay, cool, No, we do. But I still
feel like, come Christmas morning, if you didn't open something,

(10:43):
you kind of be like, oh.

Speaker 2 (10:44):
So, then why do we say because I don't. I
don't think that when you said I just want to
redo your car, that you would be bummed if you
didn't open something.

Speaker 3 (10:52):
I would not. That's the difference between men and women.
I all I want. I've told Jana this, but Janet
doesn't like this because he does get anything out of it.
All I wanted to do was finally do some things
to my to my truck that have been wanting to
do for a long.

Speaker 2 (11:05):
Time, which, by the way, he goes I want to
lift it, but don't worry. You won't notice it. And
I was like, don't You're gonna spend money on something no.

Speaker 3 (11:11):
One will even know, Just like, wait, you guys go
get your hair done. Do we always notice? No, but
you spend money on it.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
Boom.

Speaker 3 (11:18):
I'm just saying. So the whole thing is I mean
that when I say, honey, all I want to do
is stuff in my truck, Like, don't spend another dime
on me. No part of me would be upset Christmas
morning because I believe you and God bless my wife.
She's always trying to like give me things. But every year,
for like the last five years of a relationship, she
tries to get me to wear sweaters. She wants me

(11:39):
to be a sweaterwear.

Speaker 4 (11:40):
So bad, to be a sweater guy so badly.

Speaker 3 (11:43):
And I'm finally I'm to the point where I'm like, honey,
and the best thing was, I think it was last
year or two years ago she got me a ring.
And for the first few years of our marriage, Jara,
it's a beautiful Janna has tried to make me like
a ring accessory wear. I'm not. I wear my running band.

Speaker 2 (11:58):
That's it ring from the black one that I got.

Speaker 3 (12:01):
Right, but I usually will replace that with my wedding
band if I wear it. So finally, last year or
the year before, Jana went above and beyond got me
like a Cardier Men's love ring.

Speaker 4 (12:10):
She wants him to be a sweater wearing Cardier love it.

Speaker 3 (12:13):
Yeah. Yes, And so I had had this discussion, like
with my close buddy in La Garrett, and I was like, look, man,
I know this is like a fifteen hundred dollars ring
or whatever it is. I'm not gonna wear it, but
I'm gonna feel like I have to, but I don't
want to. So what I finally manned up and had
a conversation with Jana and being like, man, I love
you so much, I'm not gonna wear this.

Speaker 2 (12:35):
Do you know that Garrett prepped me for that?

Speaker 3 (12:37):
Did he He did? Smart?

Speaker 6 (12:38):
Man?

Speaker 2 (12:39):
Yeah, he prepped me.

Speaker 3 (12:40):
So that's the thing. We see that like we mean it.
And so finally I'm like Ganna in my head, I'm like,
I don't want another sweater. I want another cardigan or ring.
This is what I want. You asked me what I
want for Christmas? This is what I want. What Janna
wants to do what do you want?

Speaker 4 (12:56):
She's like, what do you want for Christmas? And then
she's like, I don't like that.

Speaker 3 (12:59):
That's not the that's not gonna work for me. This
is what I want to buy you.

Speaker 4 (13:03):
But guys are the opposite.

Speaker 5 (13:04):
It's like, this is what I want for Christmas and
then done for me exactly.

Speaker 2 (13:09):
But it's just like nothing. You don't want to open anything.

Speaker 3 (13:12):
I don't care.

Speaker 2 (13:13):
Okay, Well get him a gag gift.

Speaker 4 (13:16):
You know those are always fun.

Speaker 2 (13:18):
Well, I mean I got a few things, but I
just I just want you to I don't believe you.
But maybe that's because I I know that maybe I
don't believe myself when I say that.

Speaker 3 (13:28):
For here here's the catch. Here's the catch too, right,
I tell Jane what I want. We discussed o budget
and now we just discussed it again the other night
and she cut it down by a little bit amount.
I'm like, wait, no, we discussed this amount. She's like, oh, oh,
you're actually gonna okay. I'm like, just because you've bought

(13:49):
me some things even though I told you not to,
you can't take that off of my budget of what
I want for Christmas.

Speaker 5 (13:57):
And you get him presents from the kids, Like maybe
that counts as the present.

Speaker 2 (14:01):
Yeah, I've got him. Jayce got him something and Jolie
got him something, so be there. I yeah, no, I
and then yeah, I got him like a few other things.
But I did ask him the other day. I was like,
are you sure you don't want to wear a sweater?
Because I found a really nice one. Oh sure, She's
like it's rag and bone. It was. I just was like,

(14:21):
I love him in a sweater. I think he looks
so handsome in a sweater, Like I just it's my
favorite look of his, just so handsome.

Speaker 5 (14:29):
See that's another difference with guys. He just doesn't care.
Tis like I really love you in this. I'm like, here,
I am five days in a row. But I tell
a guy you like him in a sweater and he'd
rather die than wear a sweater.

Speaker 4 (14:39):
So interesting how that works.

Speaker 2 (14:41):
It's so it's so funny. He's like, oh, like you
and hats am I wearing a hat almost every single
day though.

Speaker 3 (14:48):
That for years?

Speaker 2 (14:49):
I know, But it's so funny. How like, but if
we tell you you don't care, but a girl would
be like, we will wear that every single day, Like
Sarah just said.

Speaker 5 (14:56):
Yeah, well, just get each other present because I feel
like it's just the you know, it's the holidays and
it's nice to sit around with your family and just
open presence and the kit. You know, Julie probably likes
to see you guys open.

Speaker 4 (15:07):
It's fun and you know, again.

Speaker 2 (15:09):
I think it's just the meaningful and I think when
you do have kids too, especially with our like family
and moms and brothers, we don't want we don't want anything.
It's stuff for the kids, for the kids. Yea thing
like please don't exactly.

Speaker 7 (15:20):
Well, you know, it's a great gift you mentioned before.

Speaker 1 (15:24):
The Drink Works Home bar by curric mag Grats is
great too, honestly, but we have a Drink Works Home
bar by here in the studio.

Speaker 4 (15:33):
I'm looking at it and I'm liking it, and we
have some pods.

Speaker 7 (15:36):
Sarah, you are going to be in.

Speaker 5 (15:37):
Our barroom, in our barroom, a little great thing because
it's right there on the it's right there on the shelf.

Speaker 7 (15:43):
It doesn't take up a lot of space.

Speaker 4 (15:45):
It fits right in and it's beautiful.

Speaker 2 (15:47):
I mean, it's it honestly, is is so incredibly easy. Okay,
So Sarah, you've got the pod right there. So Mark,
why don't you guys make a little cocktail right now?
For Sarah? Which one are you thing?

Speaker 7 (15:58):
Sarah? Well? Motion should I do?

Speaker 5 (16:01):
Should I go with a little ginger snap white Russian?
Or a little pised punch?

Speaker 4 (16:05):
I mean, what time is it?

Speaker 7 (16:06):
Do you carewer spritzer?

Speaker 4 (16:07):
And I would love a pomegranate elderflower sprats?

Speaker 1 (16:10):
There it is, Consider it done. You're gonna hear it
humming in just a moment here.

Speaker 2 (16:14):
Let you guys have you guys have a cure for coffee,
but now you have a cure for cocktails. And you
just press a button and it's like bam. It's so awesome.
They're great for parties. We actually just use it the
other day for our game night.

Speaker 7 (16:25):
What did you do?

Speaker 1 (16:26):
Who's the bartender in your family? Or did you put
it on self serve mode?

Speaker 2 (16:30):
Oh? Self serve mode?

Speaker 7 (16:31):
Yeah, the bartender, Mike, he's gone strong.

Speaker 2 (16:35):
I usually just pour the wine.

Speaker 3 (16:37):
Yeah, I gotta I got a heavy hand. So this
is this is more for people. I Mike, look, you
have some more options here. Have at it. It's all you.

Speaker 1 (16:43):
You don't worry about a heavy hand anymore. This thing
makes it perfect every time, every time, and they are delicious.

Speaker 2 (16:49):
There's it's so good. Honestly, it's the best gift for
a dad. I mean, Sarah, yes, and he loves to
mix up for drinks. The market one's so good.

Speaker 6 (16:58):
You know.

Speaker 8 (16:59):
The thing that's amazing it So I don't drink, so
I don't know how to make any drinks. But now
I can have people over and like guys and be like, oh,
I'll make you a margarita, which I have no idea
what's even in a margarita? But now I can totally
do it and be like, excuse me, can I make
you a Winter mule?

Speaker 2 (17:15):
I'll take it, no, one thousand percent. It's it's it's
same for me because I'm like, I don't all I
do is drink wine. So with the you know, the
drink works, I can just be like they're like, oh wow, Jane,
I really stepped up your game. I'm like, nah, took
two seconds.

Speaker 4 (17:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (17:28):
It's so easy, and I feel like it gives us
crib especially with dudes. Like a girl gets this and
then she can just look like a hero to all
the guides.

Speaker 4 (17:37):
Her dad's gotta be.

Speaker 3 (17:39):
Your cosmos for your girlfriends. Anything else for guys want
to get.

Speaker 2 (17:42):
There's a variety of drink Works pod collections. They include
classic and specialty cocktail offerings and signature of mixers. And
I love them so much and I've also posted about
them too on my Instagram. That's how much I love them.
And now obviously we're bringing it here to the podcast
and we're going to give you guys an awesome code,
so exclusive savings here plus free shipping. Go to drinkworks

(18:07):
dot com use my code gift one hundred, that's gift
one hundred at checkout to save one hundred dollars. That's you, guys.
We're saying it's that's an insane value, insane savings, So
do not wait. This amazing offer won't last and this
is a perfect gift for your friends and family. That's
drinkworks dot com and use my code gift one hundreds
for one hundred dollars off gift gift one hundred at checkout.

Speaker 3 (18:32):
And again remember it's just as easy as a Cure
because it's made by Cure. You get a water reservoir,
you got your pods with your drinks, you plug it in,
you're good to go, and it's sleek and sexy looking.
You can put it right on your counter and it
fits in with everything else.

Speaker 2 (18:45):
It's fantastic because I'm a mom. Just please remember enjoy responsibly.
The holiday season is here. How do you thrive during
the holiday season? How do you balance sleep, holiday planning
and making time to purchase the perfect holiday gift for
the special people in your life. The Sleep Number three

(19:06):
sixty smartbed helps everyone get the proven quality sleep that
will change their life. I know for us sleep is
obviously very important. Well, sleep is important for everyone, but
for us, the mattress is where we are guaranteed the
best sleep. What's great about the Sleep Number is you
can go from one to one hundred. The higher the number,
the firmer the mattress. So if I like mine on two,

(19:28):
Mike can have his all the way to one hundred.
It's great because we both get what we need in
a mattress. Sleep Number of beds allow you to adjust
on each side to your ideal firmness, comfort, and support.
The Sleep Number three sixty smartbed senses your movements and
automatically adjust to keep you sleeping comfortably throughout the night.
With sleep Iq technology inside the bed, it actually tracks
how you're sleeping and gives you a personalized insight for

(19:51):
your best night sleep. Make Spirits bright this holiday with
gifts for quality sleep. The sleep Number three sixty smart
bet adjusts on each side to give all a good
night from nine ninety nine only at a sleep Number
store or sleep number dot Com slash Jana. That's sleep
number dot com slash Jana hijine, Hey Hawaiia, Hi, thank you.

(20:15):
I'm so flaccd. Actually I like doing this.

Speaker 6 (20:19):
He too. I'm sorry for being so difficult to track down.

Speaker 2 (20:22):
My goodness. No, you're a busy man, and you've got
a busy life, and you've got a bunch of kids.
So we totally totally get.

Speaker 6 (20:29):
It all on the kids.

Speaker 4 (20:31):
Oh, I can't wait to do that when you have six?

Speaker 2 (20:35):
What are the ages? Everyone just took a real big like.

Speaker 4 (20:39):
That's amazing.

Speaker 6 (20:42):
Yeah, it's it's it's amazing. No, I'm kidding, it is amazing.

Speaker 2 (20:48):
Did she want more kids or was it something you
guys mutually agreed on or is it just kind of like, oh, hey,
we're pregnant again.

Speaker 6 (20:53):
We didn't. We didn't plan any of it.

Speaker 3 (20:55):
We didn't.

Speaker 6 (20:56):
We didn't. Yeah, the first one we had, we had Liam,
and then fifteen months later we had Stella, and then
there was like a four year break, and then we
had Hattie, and then ten months later we had Finn.
So we have Irish twins.

Speaker 4 (21:09):
Wow.

Speaker 6 (21:10):
Oh wow, and another four year break and then we
had bo Wow. Yeah. And I thought I thought after
Finn we were we were done. I just turned fifty.
You know, Tory was in her forties, early forties, so
we just thought everything was kind of taking its natural
course and not working anymore.

Speaker 4 (21:25):
Nope, surprise, surprise.

Speaker 6 (21:28):
Yeah. So being having a having a two and a
half year old at fifty three, that's a party.

Speaker 4 (21:33):
So how old's oldest?

Speaker 6 (21:35):
My oldest is twenty one for my first marriage, got it,
Jack is twenty one, and then my oldest with Tori
is twelve, so it goes twelve, eleven, eight, seven and
two and a half.

Speaker 3 (21:45):
Wow.

Speaker 6 (21:45):
Yeah, in it, just.

Speaker 3 (21:46):
In the fin in it.

Speaker 4 (21:48):
Yeah, we are looking at a hero.

Speaker 6 (21:51):
Modern that. I'll take that. I've never heard that.

Speaker 7 (21:55):
Wow, I've never heard that.

Speaker 2 (21:56):
So we're just going to jump right into it. So
we we got you on the show because I can't remember.
I was just going through my Twitter like a month
or so ago, and it had a headline from US
Weekly and it was like, Dean McDermott offers advice to
you know, Janna and her husband. And I was like, oh,

(22:16):
I was like, this is interesting. I'm gonna click on this.
And I immediately texted our producer Amy and I was
just like, we have to get him on the show.
I know he has zero clue who we are, but
obviously and I knew that too when you had the interview,
I was like, Oh, poor guys. I don't know these
freaking people are they?

Speaker 6 (22:32):
When they asked me, I honestly I didn't. I didn't know,
so I apologize don't know.

Speaker 2 (22:38):
Zeroze no, no, zero zero, But I feel.

Speaker 4 (22:40):
Like that's nothing.

Speaker 6 (22:41):
I hope it was sound advice.

Speaker 2 (22:43):
No, it was good. And I think what you said
basically is, you know, because our stuff has been so
public as well, and you know with you guys, is
you guys were kind of the the beginning of that.
I mean, when you guys shared all of your marriage struggles,
I feel like the people weren't ready for it yet.
And I think that's what you had said in your

(23:04):
interview too, Whereas it was just kind of WHOA, You're
sharing all this information?

Speaker 6 (23:09):
Yeah, sharing it through through true Tory sharing it and
you know, sort of solving our problems in the town square. Yeah,
that was. That was It's really interesting looking back at
it because in the middle of it, the great thing
about it was it really sort of expedited us getting
into therapy and getting help and starting to talk about

(23:31):
this because you know, I've seen people go through this
before and they don't talk to each other and they
automatically just end things and it takes a really hard
it's really really hard to get them back together to
even start to talk to each other. So doing the
show really really got us together and got us talking
right away, which was great. But you know, looking at

(23:53):
it now, sort of solving your problems in the town square,
there's a price.

Speaker 4 (23:59):
To it, you know, of course, well everyone can chime in.

Speaker 6 (24:02):
Everyone and and and you know, we were doing it
with the you know, with with the thought of you know,
getting through it ourselves but also helping others. And and
but with that, we weren't thinking comes all the backlash
and the haters and all the naysayers. We just you know,
we were really positive about it, considering you know, how

(24:23):
negative what what I did was, you know, so it's
it was a really it was a slippery slope, and
once in a while we'll get stopped by people who say,
thank you very much for doing that, and and that
really helps. That makes it kind of worth, yea worth
going through all that stuff. But you're really, you're really
I felt like I was in one of those stockades

(24:44):
in the middle of town.

Speaker 4 (24:46):
I cannot I say to them all the time.

Speaker 6 (24:48):
People could throw tomatoes at me and tell me what
they thought of me, and you know, it really messed
with me. But you know, we we did it, and
and the great thing is is we worked it out
or together and things are stronger and better than ever.

Speaker 3 (25:03):
I mean that sounds so identical and parallel and familiar
for us, all of that. And what was because I
feel like Dean, for you and I who they're the
ones who are the perpetrators and kind of did you
know the deed that kind of caused everything? What was
the moment that you and Tory decided Okay, let's address
this publicly and not keep it in house, because I

(25:25):
feel like that's the natural thing, right, especially for me.
I felt so much shame at the beginning. I just
wanted to be like, no, I don't want to talk
to anybody about it. Let's just keep it between us
and deal with it. So what kind of encouraged you
to come around and be like you know what, Tory,
let's you know, dressed this head on, like you said
in the town Square.

Speaker 6 (25:40):
Right, Well, you know, we didn't have a choice in it,
you know, coming out you know, US US magazine broke
this story. You know, a friend of mine, I was
set up, like my friends sold the story. La la la,
a friend, a friend of twenty two years.

Speaker 2 (26:02):
That's just my cars was my he was our wedding.
So yeah, we hear you on that. And it sucks, right.

Speaker 6 (26:10):
Wow, Yeah, you know you and I we shouldn't have
been doing what we were doing, but it didn't need
to play out that way, you know, and our story
broke Christmas Eve.

Speaker 7 (26:21):
Oh, I just got so again.

Speaker 6 (26:25):
You know it's all my fault, but you know, but
it's done. So you know, we it was out there
and everybody had their opinion on it, and everybody had
something to say about it, and you know, we got
to a point where you know, it was just it
was out of control. You know, the headlines, you know
how they make them up, right, so you know this,

(26:48):
I'd been doing this for years and I was you know,
I wanted out of the marriage because I wasn't getting
any money from the family. Blah blah blah. All this
BS right. So we sat down and said, look, you
know what, everybody's got their opinion, so let's take this
opportunity to tell the truth. And so that's why we

(27:09):
came up with the idea and we were approached to
do true Tory. But even before that, you know, we
issued statements. But yeah, we just sat down and said,
enough of this. This is a circus, this is a sideshow.
There's so many things that are wrong that people are saying,
let's go public and let's tell our truth. And that's

(27:33):
what we did. And then then the show kicked in
and we got, you know, the opportunity to go even
farther with it.

Speaker 2 (27:41):
I feel like, too, it's such a for your kids
as well. So that way they can see because they're
going to read about it, they would been able to
google it, and this way it's there, you're able to
say like, hey, this is what we've done, and this
is how we've been able to make it work. And
I feel like in a way, I know you kind
of dread that moment that the kids find out, but
at the same time, hopefully it's years down there, and
you're like, look but look at of how strong we

(28:02):
are now, and look what we've done, and look who
we've helped along the way.

Speaker 3 (28:06):
I don't know, yeah, and I feel like i'd just
be like living another lie where you have to like
manage everyone around you, trying to make sure they don't
find out information and all that stuff. So it's like,
if it's out there, it is what it is.

Speaker 6 (28:18):
Yeah, And I think, you know, once they start asking,
I think you have to kind of sort of nip
it in the bud for lack of a better word,
and tell them exactly what happened, because you know they're
going to read twenty different variations.

Speaker 5 (28:32):
Of well and then they go to school and other
kids talk, and it's just I can't.

Speaker 2 (28:37):
It for you that was was not missing. I don't
want to say I don't want to be insensitive to
like that, but you know, I know, like, okay, same
with Michael, like he's been unfaithful in every relationship he's
ever had. I know you had you chew on your
first wife, and then with this is did you see
an addictive pattern or was it just something where something
in yourself that you felt was missing.

Speaker 6 (29:03):
I didn't see it as an addictive pattern. My first
marriage lasted for twelve years, and you know it, it
started to break down a long time ago, but you know,
I stayed with it because that's what I thought, you know,
that was that was it, that's the that's the best
it gets.

Speaker 3 (29:22):
You know.

Speaker 6 (29:23):
We had our son, Jack, who's amazing, and I just thought, okay, well,
you know, you have a kid, and and this is
what marriage is at a certain point, you know, like.

Speaker 3 (29:32):
You know, I.

Speaker 6 (29:34):
I I hesitated to say it was loveless because I
really cared for and I still do. She's a she's
a great woman. But it just, you know, that that spark,
that fire just wasn't there. And I thought, you know,
this is this is as good as it happened, this
is this is life. And then I met Torri when
we were working together in Ottawa, and I'd never felt
anything like that in my life. I'd never felt that connection.

(29:57):
From the moment we met, it was just you know, fireworks,
and I I just couldn't I couldn't resist. I couldn't resist,
but I also couldn't lie to myself anymore, Like I
kept distracting my things with distracting myself with different things,
you know, sports and golf and all these kind of things,

(30:18):
distracting myself from my first relationship to not face my unhappiness.
So once I met Torri, you know, we worked together
for three and a half weeks, and at the end
of the three and a half weeks, I'm like, I
can't walk away from this. I can't like this is
you know, you have a decision to make. You know,

(30:38):
you really really do you really have to grow a
pair and you know, do the right thing and get
out of your first marriage, because it's it's not fair
to her, it's not fair to Jack, and it's not
fair to me. I wasn't being honest with myself. I
met someone that I instantly fell in love with and

(30:58):
felt something I've never felt before my life. So that's
it was like I have to I have to man
up and I have to do the right thing. And then,
you know, so we dissolved the marriage. But it was
it was more out of a connection and love for
each other that we got together. It wasn't a cheating,

(31:19):
addictive pattern.

Speaker 2 (31:20):
What about when you were married with Tori. Though when
that episode was that just like an episode.

Speaker 6 (31:29):
That episode was about a combination of things. I suffer
from depression. I have clinical depression, and I can as
great as things can look on the outside, and how
happy and great my life looks on the outside. I

(31:49):
calmed a little. The angry little dwarf in my head
really beats the crap out of me. And I even
though you know, I was on I was hosting Chop Canada,
I had a cookbook coming out, like I was on
fire in the Food Network. I was incredibly unhappy and
hated myself and I started drinking and started using drugs

(32:13):
again and I needed to fill a hole and it
and it's really bizarre how it happened, like that's the
last thing I was looking for. I was. I was
just happy to just drink and party. I wasn't looking
for any kind of a hookup or anything like that
at all. It was it was the farthest thing from

(32:35):
my mind, and it just it just happened so easily
and just kind of out of the blue and laisse
fair and I went with it obviously without thinking, and
you know, was looking to fill this void and it
didn't fill the void. It created a chasm. You know,
I created the Grand Canyon with with doing what I did.

(32:59):
But you know, at the end of the day, going
through everything we've gone through, I'm amazed at the resolve
of my wife Tori. I thought for sure it was done.
I thought it was done. I just thought, why on
earth would you want to be with me? And it's

(33:20):
you know, it's it's funny, it's it's something that I've
maintained before this happened. As well as I was. I
was surprised that, you know, Tory Spelling was interested in me.
I'm like, why we're married, we have kids?

Speaker 2 (33:32):
Like you?

Speaker 6 (33:32):
I don't get it. Why me? Yeah, I still I
I didn't have that. I devalued myself. I didn't think
that highly of myself. I thought, I mean, I'm the
luckiest guy in the world, but not it's not worth
not worth worthy of this. And so when the affair happened,
I thought, it's it's done, it's over. It's she's gonna

(33:53):
walk away, and rightfully so. And and I you know,
I maintained that through you. If you see, if you
watch the show, I'll be like, why why are you
still doing this? Why are you with me? I you know,
I did something absolutely horrible to you, and she's she made.

Speaker 2 (34:05):
Almost like you feel like you didn't deserve it too.
You know, It's like it's like you didn't feel like
you deserved it, so you just sabotage, sabotaged it. Yeah,
sabotaged it.

Speaker 6 (34:17):
I'm sabotage. I'm really great at it. I've I've done it.
I mean, look at this armful of tattoos that I
absolutely love. But as an actor, good idea? Anybody anybody
gonna take on this?

Speaker 2 (34:31):
Yeah, the greatest, but it's I mean, it looks really nice.
Where a lot of people that I talked to, one
of their biggest things is like how, And I know
this is something we've struggled with too, is how for
when when when me and Tory or we get upset
and triggered. What has helped you have empathy and stay
grounded and not go defensive? Because I feel like that's

(34:54):
been sort of an issue with us and a lot
of other women ask Michael that too, like what do
you what do you do? What are your tips and
and tricks for when that moment arises and you need
to be empathetic for maybe her feelings, but you're you know,
you feel shame, and you feel guilt and anger and
what you might feel.

Speaker 6 (35:14):
Well, right out of the gate, you said something great
that you have to be empathetic to her, and absolutely,
you know that's that's a must. You know, when when
when she gets triggered. And I've been very, very fortunate
that Tori is so even keeled and so smart that
she's able to sort of think her way through these
things and look at the big picture. Very seldom has

(35:37):
she been triggered. But when she does get triggered, you know,
obviously your first your first instinct is to go in
the defensive. It's it's human nature. And I think you
have to as the man, as the perpetrator, you have
to sit back and go, okay, wait a second. You
gotta this is part of the process. You know, it's
it's going to go on for the rest of my life,

(35:58):
our life together, So you know, you better get good
at looking pausing, looking at the big picture, just going okay,
you know what, I gotta take my lumps, and you know,
I can't be so defensive. I've really got to have
an open mind here and really put myself in her shoes,

(36:18):
because once, once you get on the defensive, you just
kind of shut down and you can't see, you know,
the other person's point of view or their feelings. So
you just gotta shut the f up. Listen, be empathetic, sympathetic,
and just just love her, and you know what, just

(36:42):
be thankful that she's still in your life, because it's
so easily could have gone the other way. You know,
you could be you could be sitting in an apartment
rented apartment by yourself.

Speaker 3 (36:55):
That's you know, that's funny you say that and everything,
Like I just feel like I'm watching myself talk about
these kind of things being just in the similarities of
everything and that even just that last thing you said,
I almost have that uh sabotage mindset of I'll be

(37:16):
driving around Just the other day I was doing I
was driving around, and the part town I was in,
I saw some like you know, single bedroom apartments or
little houses, and I had this like anxiety of like,
that's where i'd probably be right now if you know,
things didn't work out the way they did, if Jana
wasn't strong enough to take me back, like how and
just like you said, how do I get this amazing,

(37:39):
beautiful woman, and it is just that self sabotage and
not good enough and everything like that. But it's again
that last thing you said, I literally I think about
that more than I definitely should. And that is healthy too,
where it's like that's where i'd probably be living right now,
That's where i'd probably be living, even though I know
I'd find a way to be successful, But still that
part of me is I, I really did everything I

(38:02):
could to ruin this relationship, in this family. Why do
I deserve to still be here? Why am I not
there in that one bedom apartment. It's just it's tough,
and I think that's one of those things, just like
you talked about with the triggers with them, is that
shame there's gonna be part of it, at least for
me right now, because I mean we're only three and

(38:23):
a half years post discovery of everything, but I feel
like a part of that shame is still gonna be
there for a long time where it's like a part
of me is still maybe try to convince myself I'm
undeserving or whatever it may be. And it's just that
fleeting moment for a second on a day. It doesn't
overtake me. It doesn't all day. It's just that fleeting

(38:43):
second that you still feel that kind of humbles you
and grounds you enough to scare the out of you
of where things could be.

Speaker 6 (38:51):
Yeah, hang on to that, Yeah, hang on to that
because it's it's a good reminder. I think that, you know,
this is where things could have gone. And it's interesting
you said you have these these moments of of of
the feeling, the shame and stuff and all have that
moment when somebody just looks at me funny, and it's

(39:14):
usually usually a female. If they kind of look at
me funny, I'm like, oh, she knows and she hates me.

Speaker 3 (39:22):
She's yeah, yeah, you know.

Speaker 6 (39:27):
And I've seen it where you know, Mr Tory and
I are out and they're like, oh, sorry, you're amazing,
we love you, and dah da dada, and then look
at me and completely ignore me. And I was like, oh,
they know and they hate me because I did what
I did, you know. And then so it's really but
at the same time though, it's it's great to have
those moments because it is it's like, yeah, you know what,
you you really messed up, You really messed up and

(39:50):
like I said, this is this is gonna happen. I'm
gonna have these feelings and we're gonna have to work
this out for the rest of our life together.

Speaker 2 (39:55):
And when you say rest of your life, and I
know people have asked us too, it's like when like,
stop bringing it up, stop talking about it, and it's like,
I don't, I'm not, I don't want to bring it.
It's just unfortunately, it's just something that's gonna live there forever.
And now the magnitude of it isn't as big as
it was back in the day, but like through all
of our therapy that you know, I do personally and
he does, and we do together, but it is gonna Unfortunately,

(40:17):
I think Jason said that too when he was a
guest Inner Shadows.

Speaker 3 (40:20):
Is that the book worthy of a true.

Speaker 2 (40:23):
Worthy of a trust where it's like it is going
to be there forever. And that's something that I think
you've had a harder time too. And it's like because
I'm like, I don't, I wouldn't. I don't want it
to be there, and we try not to talk about Unfortunately,
now our podcast is now about that, but you know,
not about that but like about relationships and struggles and stuff.

(40:43):
But it's it's interesting and I almost feel not guilty, guilty,
but I I don't want you to always have to
feel shame when we do talk about it, no.

Speaker 3 (40:52):
And like Dean saying, it's it's it's actually not even
reflective of maybe how when you guys are triggered. It's
more so kind of these other moments where Dean, I
appreciate what you just said, because we just we do
like we take this podcast on the road. We don't
record podcasts, but we do like an evening with kind
of show and it's me Janna and Sayah, they're sitting
next to you, and we do live shows and Jana

(41:14):
and I do like a meet and greet before the show.
And sometimes I have that feeling too, where I can
tell I can just feel someone's energy. I'm like, maybe
they don't want to stand next to me, not just
because they're huge fans of Jenna, but maybe it's because
I'm a sex addict. Maybe they have this weird misconceived
notion and judgment of a sex act and they think

(41:34):
there's some creep predator or whatever. I just go into
that shame and that's where I start going. I go
down that rabbit hole. I'm like, maybe that's why that
person didn't want to stand next to me. Maybe they are. Yeah,
it just it's that shame that just still eats your
soul a little bit. But I don't think it's to
the point where it's unhealthy anymore. It's to the point,
like you're saying, Dean, where it's like you hold onto

(41:54):
a little bit of that to scary straight and that's okay.

Speaker 6 (41:57):
Yeah, yeah, And that's and that's our cross to bear,
you know, because we did what we did, and it's
just like, you know, tough, tough crap boys. You you
know you did this. You gotta you know, you got
to carry this cross well.

Speaker 5 (42:10):
And I definitely get what you guys are saying about
the guys, But then I feel like it's kind of
the same probably for Tory and Janne. Like you know,
people may look at you guys and be like, oh,
look what he did, But then they might look at
Jane and Tory and be like, oh my god, I
can't believe she stayed with him, or I can't believe
she's with you know. It's it's also both sides and
it's probably not that it's not hard, but it's probably
harder for you know, Janet to be there, especially in

(42:30):
Tory in the beginning, you know, at the grocery store whatever,
walking with.

Speaker 4 (42:33):
You, and then people be like, what, like she's still
with I don't know.

Speaker 6 (42:36):
I feel like in the beginning that was there a
lot And I don't know if that was the same
for you. But you know, Tory would get you know,
comments and and and then especially social media.

Speaker 4 (42:47):
Oh of course, like what are you doing? You're so dumb?

Speaker 6 (42:49):
And you know the internet magazines they have the comment section,
and stay away from them, just stay away from any
comment section. But yeah, I know Tory would would get
a lot of flak for that, said, why would you
stay with it? He's a pig? Da da da da,
And you know that's that's something that you know, she
had to work through and and her, like I said,
her resolve was she was just she's so strong, she's

(43:11):
she just maintains like, Look, I'm really upset and hurt
by what he did, but I love him. He's the
love of my life. I can't turn that off, right,
and we have a family together, you know, I can't
walk away from that. So it's it's it's tough in
the beginning, and now it's it's it's turned. It's it's
totally turned. And now a lot of people are like,
you know, so glad you guys stayed together. You're a

(43:33):
great example. But you know, for it's funny, guys, we
want to we want everything, We want to fix everything
right and then be done. It's like, okay, put you know,
bundle this up in this need of the package.

Speaker 3 (43:46):
It's done.

Speaker 6 (43:46):
Okay, we don't have to talk about it anymore. But again,
you know, we that that's not going to happen in
that situation. And when I say, you know, you guys,
you'll have to carry this for the the rest of
your life, the same way that you'll carry your wedding
vows that you had for each other for the rest
of your life and those great moments, and it's like,
here's a bad moment that affected our relationship as good

(44:10):
as our vows were in our wedding day, was that
we'll remember for the rest of our lives. We're going
to remember this for the rest of our lives too,
this black mark, and it's just something that gets easier
with time. But it'll never ever go away. I think,
in my opinion, no.

Speaker 3 (44:24):
I ever go away.

Speaker 2 (44:26):
Yeah, I wish there was a magic wand but at
the same time, I feel like it's made us stronger.
But I for someone you say, I guess I'm scared
moving on, Like marriage is only going to get harder
with the kids were we could potentially a lot of
people I don't see. I don't see a lot of

(44:47):
people really growing together. I see what people growing apart.
And I think that's always been kind of my fear is, oh, shoot,
I think I'm like pre menstrual. But no, cry no,
but I I just like my fear is, you know,
when they get in that situation or you know when hell,
it could be me too. What if I'm on a
movie set, you know, and I start to go into
my love addict ways, or it's like, what's the thing

(45:09):
that's going to stop you guys from maybe going down
that route again? And then it's like, hey, they're more
like twenty years in and like, you know, it's like
now then now what Now It's like our kids are
even older and now we've got twenty years of marriage,
and how could you then do it? I know, it's
all the what if game that you hate playing? But
I think that's what like lives within me because I'm like,
what's going to stop you the next go around?

Speaker 3 (45:31):
Right? Right?

Speaker 6 (45:31):
Future tripping?

Speaker 3 (45:32):
Yeah? Terrible? I know.

Speaker 2 (45:34):
And then like that's something massive that I've worked on
in therapy, but it's something that's like underground obviously, which
is why it's coming out.

Speaker 3 (45:40):
Is that is that all primarily from us? Or does
it have to do with your parents divorcing as well
when you were.

Speaker 2 (45:47):
I think there's something that I can dive deeper in
with the therapist, but I feel like it's a lot
when I think about it. It's like, you know, even
because they say once cheater, always a cheater, you know,
And I know it's different for you know, unfortunately addicts.
You know you today, you're healthy, Tomorrow we don't know.
But I guess that's just my fear. Is you know,

(46:08):
what's going to stop y'all from going down that road
again when that's an easy exit, exit trip, right?

Speaker 6 (46:15):
I think that's about gaining trust in him again?

Speaker 2 (46:20):
Is it about boundaries or staying grounded too? Like for
you guys to know kind of what you have and
it's just maybe a rough patch that you might be
in or if you're feeling bored in the relationship. I
guess that's what I'm getting at, Like, what if you
guys are like, I'm bored with this and I'm I don't,
I'm not. I don't know if I feel in love anymore. So,
but hey, here's something really shiny at a club or
at a bar, or at a grocery store. How do
you not go down aisle one.

Speaker 6 (46:43):
Well, that's that's what's great about, you know, having those
reminders of like, this could have gone a completely different way.
So that's that's that's the great thing about having that
cross to bears, I did what I did. So you
have to always keep that in the forefront because it's like, yeah, Okay,
if I'm getting bored or I think the relationship of
stale and I see this shiny thing in the club, whoa,

(47:03):
I know that shiny thing in the club is going
to cost me my marriage and my family because I've
been there before. So that's the great thing about having
this this sort of a reminder. And you know, if
if you are feeling you know, bored, and you're even

(47:24):
thinking on, hey, you know what I'm feeling attracted to
other women. Talk about it, talk about it. You know,
I'm bored, you know, I'm tired of our sex life.
Talk about it. That's the best thing you can do.

Speaker 2 (47:37):
Not maybe to your wife, but to somebody else.

Speaker 4 (47:40):
I don't know if I want well, I don't know,
I mean, you know, or maybe have a sex life.

Speaker 2 (47:45):
If you said, like I'm I'm I'm attracted to other people,
to tory or.

Speaker 6 (47:51):
I'm feeling that, it's just like you know, but maybe
that's that's that's the wrong Wow, that's the wrong word.
I'm attracted other people.

Speaker 5 (47:58):
Or just.

Speaker 6 (48:00):
I know, I know, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just feeling
feeling like something's missing that and you know what, you
know what that is. I think if we're feeling attracted
to other people is because we're starting to hate on ourself.
We're really you know, that angry dwarf is going off
on our head again and digging us in a in

(48:20):
a hole, telling us we're worthless pieces of crap. So
we're we need we need to we need to feel attracted,
so we're gonna start kind of putting it out there
to other people. It's like, oh, she's kind of cute,
Maybe I'll flirt with her a little bit. I feel
fill that little hole a little bit. If you make
eye contact, you know it, talk about it, talk about it.

(48:41):
It's the best thing, the best thing I think you
can do. And that's the best thing that's works for.

Speaker 3 (48:44):
Tory and I.

Speaker 6 (48:46):
And as hard as it is, it's not easy to go, hey,
you know what I'm feeling. Really, I'm feeling bored in
the relationship, Like that's a tough conversation to have.

Speaker 3 (48:54):
Have it.

Speaker 2 (48:55):
I'd rather you have it than find it.

Speaker 3 (48:57):
And then yeah, and it's all about.

Speaker 2 (49:00):
For me too. I would say the same thing.

Speaker 3 (49:01):
About delivery too. Sure, right, I can't be saying relationship right,
you know what I mean? So I feel like a
lot of times so people push it down until it
comes out.

Speaker 6 (49:13):
But roller coaster, I'm tired of this.

Speaker 3 (49:17):
Yeah. By the way, so let's uh, before we let
you go, Dean, let's transition out of that real quick.
And you're doing stand up now, how has that helped
you kind of kind of you know, manufacturer, What got
you into that? What helped you manufacture that kind of uh,
you know, entertainment and everything you want to do within that.

Speaker 6 (49:35):
I've been a fan of comedy since I was nine
or ten years old. My dad came home with an
eight track. I don't know if you guys know what
an eight track is, A lot younger than I am.
So he came over with his eight track of Gene
Tracy and Jean Tracy was an old truck stop comedian
and he would tour all the truck stops in the South,
and he was filthy. He was filthy, like I'd learned

(49:57):
all about every sex physician and and he just made
every He just made people laugh. And so, you know,
from then on there, I you know, I discovered Red Fox,
and then Richard Pryor and Bob Newhart and Eddie Murphy
and then Robin Williams, and I was like, okay, this
is what I want to do. So when I got
into acting at nineteen, my goal was to be a

(50:18):
stand up but I didn't know why, Wow, can you
swear on this?

Speaker 7 (50:23):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (50:23):
Built built.

Speaker 6 (50:24):
I didn't know my ass for my elbow, so I
didn't have a point of view. You know, I was
just a young and eve and I had this this again,
the angry dwarf from my head telling me how what
a horrible person I am. So I was like, I
can't I can't get on stage, I can't tell jokes,
I can't do anything. So I found it easier to
play other people. So I got into acting and I
had a really nice I have a really great career acting.

(50:47):
And then at fifty three, I went to see my
buddy at a stand up club and I met Adam Hunter,
who's my now my my comedy mentor, and he does
a night every night Tuesdays at the Dime. And I
told him my story and he's like, you got to
get up. I'm like, I'm fifty three, man, you're going

(51:10):
to do stand up now. He's like, no, you got
to get up. You're not too old. You're never too old.
Did you stand up? So he pestered me for like
three months, So I said fine, and I wrote five
minutes and I got up. And I've been going at
it ever since.

Speaker 2 (51:22):
You killed that.

Speaker 6 (51:24):
It's yeah, it's it's addictive. And I've been very fortunate.
You know. I opened for my friend at Caroline's in
New York. I've had some really great opportunities and I'm
just plugging away at it and I love it. I
you know, I wish I hadn't done it, you know,
when I was younger, but you know, I didn't I
didn't have the point of view. Now I have six
kids and I've.

Speaker 7 (51:43):
Been through a lot.

Speaker 6 (51:46):
I have a lot of content that I'm just scratching
the surface too. I mean, with being a celebrity couple
and being in the magazine Oh.

Speaker 4 (51:53):
My god, I can't imagine.

Speaker 6 (51:54):
And so yeah, so there's there's a lot of stuff
to mine. So I'm looking to turn our pot cast
Daddy Issues into a talk show or or or a sitcom.
But I plan on, you know, planning doing my stand
up and continue acting and just plugging away, just you know,
trying to try to make a living, you know.

Speaker 2 (52:15):
And his Daddy Issues is it? Who else is on
that podcast with you?

Speaker 6 (52:19):
Daddy Issues is with Adam Hunter, my mentor, and Nicky Paris.
So Nicky's a gay comedian and he's fabulous. So our
our sort of through line is Daddy Issues. I'm Dean McDermott,
I have six kids, Adam Hunter is a new dad,
and Nicky needs.

Speaker 2 (52:33):
A dad, so good. So, I mean, you have a
lot going on and you're killing it.

Speaker 3 (52:39):
That's awesome. American guys. We're glad that that's going well
for you. Thank you.

Speaker 6 (52:43):
Thank you. It's and talk about therapy. Oh my gosh,
I just go up and I just tell everybody it's
going on in my head and it's it's pretty funny.

Speaker 3 (52:52):
Good for you, man, Well, thank you so much for
coming out and talking with us and being so My.

Speaker 6 (52:56):
Pleasure, my pleasure, and guys, keep it up, keep up
to good work. Three and a half years out. That's
it's awesome that you're still together. Right, it's awesome work.

Speaker 2 (53:06):
No, thank you, Dane. You've been our beacon of hope.
So thank you.

Speaker 6 (53:10):
All the best.

Speaker 3 (53:10):
Guys, appreciate it, my pleasure.

Speaker 2 (53:23):
Worried about finding the perfect gift this holiday, Well, Peloton
is the gift they're guaranteed to love this holiday season.
Give your loved one what they really want, Give them
the gift of a Peloton. And guys, we've been able
to try out the Pelotons in store. Actually, Mike and
I will go to a store just so we can
walk on the treadmill or the bike, because they truly
are amazing. They offer a variety of live classes and

(53:46):
other classes that you don't have to be live for
the instructors, the leaderboard community. There's so many options. It's
a gift of a worry free trial too, and with
Peloton's new thirty day home trial, you guys can actually
try the bike for free thirty days. And should you
decide that it's not for you, guys, well just return
the bike for a full refund. Peloton will even come
pick up at no cost. It's a gift they'll keep

(54:09):
on using. With an endless variety of entertaining live and
on demand classes, plus motivation from world class instructors, it's
the gift that keeps coming back well beyond the holiday season.
And it's also the gift that saves them time. With
an efficient, high intensity cardio workout at home, they can
spend less time commuting to their workout or braving the
winter weather, and more time with the people they love

(54:29):
and things that matter. This holiday, give the gift of
Peloton for a limited time, get one hundred dollars off
accessories when you purchase the Peloton bike. Go to one
peloton dot com and use promo code wind down at checkout.
That's one pelemone time promo code windown.

Speaker 3 (54:46):
That was good man. We could just get in a
room with him and toy because I felt like he
was just saying everything that we've said for the past
year on this podcast, and it's just so refreshing to
hear from someone else's mouth who's been through the same thing.
It's just it's just kind of comforting a little bit.

Speaker 2 (55:05):
And I love how he was just like, Yeah, it's
going to be with us forever, and that's that's okay.
There's no shame in that. And I love that he
felt that he said that because it just made it be.

Speaker 3 (55:15):
Like, okay, yeah, it was. It was great, man. That
was awesome having Diana on, and we definitely got to
get together with him and have dinner have some conversations
because that was great. So I was thinking, before we
we'll get to an email, but I'll think I want
to touch on something that we talked about early in
the episode, and we're talking about sentimental sentimental guests. Because
I'm sitting here through everything kind of in the back
of my mind multitasking, and I'm like, well, okay, what

(55:40):
if I get Jana something sentimental? But what if it's
not I don't write enough. What if I don't put
enough effort? And you try laughing because there's a little
inside joke here that I caught onto because for Jana's
birthday birthday, birthday, apparently I didn't write enough of my

(56:02):
own stuff within the card. I wrote a few lines.
I'm one of those guys that kind of gives you
a little underline the words that are being cool.

Speaker 2 (56:13):
Underline It's underline the card words happy birthday, happies underlined,
like underline the ones if the card says you are
the most beautiful, and they keith underline what they wrote under.

Speaker 3 (56:26):
Like, hey, homeworks said it right, I couldn't say better myself.
Why am I going to reiterate? That's why I got
the card because it said things that I feel and think,
So why I say the same thing Otherwise I'll just
get a blank card all the time. Just write it.
Would you rather have that?

Speaker 2 (56:41):
Okay?

Speaker 3 (56:41):
So she would.

Speaker 2 (56:42):
Yeah, So this is funny. And the reason he's bringing
this up is because Sarah didn't write my birthday card yet.
And I said, honestly, girl, just tell me what you
want to say, because I know.

Speaker 4 (56:54):
I was like, do you have a pen? I need
to write your birthday card?

Speaker 5 (56:56):
And she was like, oh my god, just honestly tell me,
because you know I have like a thing with birthday.

Speaker 2 (57:01):
I have a thing with cards in general.

Speaker 4 (57:03):
I mean with cards, sorry, ot with cards.

Speaker 2 (57:06):
For me personally.

Speaker 4 (57:07):
You took me into another room her.

Speaker 2 (57:11):
I don't want to upset Michael or like her.

Speaker 7 (57:13):
She goes.

Speaker 4 (57:14):
I just really hate when people don't, like, you know,
write their feelings and mean it and write a lot.
And I'm like, okay. So I go into the room and.

Speaker 5 (57:21):
Mike's like, what are you guys doing? Oh well, I'm just
writing in Jana's card. But I'm not gonna write I'm
just gonna say what I would say. I'd probably write
something long and heartfelt and tell her you know how
much I love her, and how how special of the
day this is, and how you know this day would
mean nothing because it's her birthday and if I wasn't
here with And He's like, Okay, I get you're saying.

Speaker 2 (57:38):
I just wanted for some reason, I would. I've said
this since I was probably in high school. I don't
like I like cards that They're totally fine. The cards
are made, especially Hallmark cards. I love them, but when
I get them, I would rather have some I would
rather like when I give someone a card, I write
still like on the one side of it, like a

(57:59):
real long you know, high school letter.

Speaker 4 (58:01):
But dear Mike, dear Mike.

Speaker 2 (58:03):
Comma. But if someone were to give me a card,
I would rather than make the card and then write
their own words, because that means more to me than
just them giving me a Hallmark card and then saying
happy birthday, love Mike.

Speaker 3 (58:17):
But I never just say that, but you write.

Speaker 2 (58:19):
Like one sentence, I will never.

Speaker 4 (58:25):
Birthday, have an amazing day.

Speaker 3 (58:27):
I will never ever get you a card with words
in it ever again, every card will.

Speaker 5 (58:32):
I love that, No, because then it's going to be
blank blank because he's don't going to know what to
write in it. Fine, that's funny, That's that's actually funny
because that is a thing with me and tytoo.

Speaker 4 (58:46):
So in the beginning, I love No.

Speaker 5 (58:48):
I love cards like even since literally I love I
keep all my cards. I have cards since high school,
and I always write, you know, not intense things. But
I'll go on for a little bit, and he really
caught on and it made me happy.

Speaker 2 (59:01):
You know, not all of them, because I'll keep the
ones where he writes a lot, the other ones where
he just says, yeah, I love you, happy birthday.

Speaker 3 (59:08):
I'm like, you'll keep my notes that say have like
a sentence on them.

Speaker 2 (59:12):
But that's like what.

Speaker 1 (59:12):
If he underlines happy right exactly?

Speaker 3 (59:16):
You see how many underlines I had in that card.
So for those who, uh who might ever give Jana
a birthday card in the future, give her a card,
put your blood sweat behind it on the back of it,
tape a USB drive or to get USB drive with
an entire thesis paper on how much you love her
and how special she is.

Speaker 2 (59:35):
I think like four sentences would be the appropriate for
at least four.

Speaker 1 (59:40):
I'm feeling bad because I texted her and it really
wasn't nearly enough.

Speaker 7 (59:43):
Now that I think back on my text, birthday.

Speaker 2 (59:45):
Texts are totally fine. I'm saying in a card. For
buying someone else's words, you should write more than you
should write at least four sentences your own.

Speaker 3 (59:52):
My hand, Ryan's going to become really big.

Speaker 4 (59:53):
How do you sign your cards?

Speaker 3 (59:56):
You know how I signed mine every time? How do
I sign one the m How do I sign mine? Uh?

Speaker 2 (01:00:04):
You slurp, unbelievable clearly the words your time?

Speaker 4 (01:00:12):
Because she obviously doesn't remember these cards.

Speaker 2 (01:00:15):
Forever yours, thank you.

Speaker 3 (01:00:17):
Love Michael, Forever yours love Michael.

Speaker 4 (01:00:18):
And every card love Michael.

Speaker 3 (01:00:20):
Okay, every note, every card, forever yours, love Michael.

Speaker 2 (01:00:22):
I do write I love that, I say I love you?

Speaker 3 (01:00:26):
What what? What more could I say in any other
words besides forever yours?

Speaker 2 (01:00:30):
Oh? Thanks man saying what it's Janner right, dear Michael.

Speaker 3 (01:00:37):
She scribbles scribbles out the world.

Speaker 5 (01:00:39):
Do you do your signature like when you sign people's
like shirts? Is that how you like sign your cards?

Speaker 6 (01:00:44):
No?

Speaker 2 (01:00:44):
I just do love wifey or jamma or slurp.

Speaker 3 (01:00:50):
Meanwhile, I'm like forever yours yours.

Speaker 2 (01:00:54):
You never mind ever, I'm ever, so.

Speaker 3 (01:00:58):
We can get out of here.

Speaker 1 (01:01:00):
Ashley, my husband and I are eighteen weeks pregnant. The
past few days, my husband seemed distant and avoiding me.
I sensed something was wrong, so I looked in his phone. No,
I found no hold on. It's not where you think
it's going. But it's not great either. I found a
text exchange between him and his sister, in which he
confided that he doesn't want this baby, that he never

(01:01:21):
wanted this baby and resents me because I'm carrying the baby.
He wrote how he doesn't know if he ever loved me,
that I pressured him into marriage and kids. He told
his sister. He's unhappy and doesn't know if he wants
to be with me. Oh, I was blindsided. We both
agreed to start trying for a family and moving our
life forward. I believe it's his fear talking since it's

(01:01:41):
our first child. But how can I move past this?
He doesn't know. I saw the text exchange, and I've
tried addressing the topic without cornering him. But my heart
is broken and my anxiety is through the roof. I
feel loft and numb. Any advice or prayers would be
greatly appreciated.

Speaker 4 (01:01:56):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 (01:01:57):
First of all, take a deep breath, baby, you're pregnant.
That anxiety is not good. Oh, Mike, I have I
don't have any words for this one. That's that's hard
because I feel like when she says that it's her,
it's it's his fear. But I don't know if I
could ever forget those words if I saw that.

Speaker 4 (01:02:16):
Well, and it takes two to tango. He knows what
he was doing when he got your pregnant.

Speaker 2 (01:02:20):
So and even if he felt forced, you still at
the end of the day, and I can I can
kind of relate to ours where it's like okay, I
know sometimes you felt pressed to the fire, but at
the same time, it was still a decision that you
did make.

Speaker 3 (01:02:33):
Two.

Speaker 2 (01:02:34):
That's tough. But I don't know if I could forget
those words if I saw that on your phone.

Speaker 3 (01:02:40):
Yeah, that's uh.

Speaker 2 (01:02:43):
Man, I would confront him.

Speaker 3 (01:02:45):
You have, I definitely.

Speaker 4 (01:02:46):
I don't know how she hasn't. I don't know how
she do.

Speaker 2 (01:02:50):
But come not at a good from a good place.
That's my advice from a very from a very calm,
calm collected. Hey, I'm so sorry. I I'll you a
little distant, and I'm so sorry. I looked at your
phone and I saw this message and I'm just having
a really hard time processing this. I know this is
your private space, and I'm sorry for I'm sorry for

(01:03:12):
breaking that space and breaking that privacy. But now I
don't know what to do with this, and I need,
I need. Can we can we talk about this?

Speaker 4 (01:03:23):
Or does she just give him the chance to tell her?
Maybe I went through your phone.

Speaker 3 (01:03:28):
So I would. I would just in my opinion, again,
this is my opinion, Ashley, just because being a guy,
and you'd have to really like Jana just explained dance
very delicately around introducing the fact that you looked at
this phone. So my just thought goes to try addressing

(01:03:52):
it with him again from a standpoint of just ask him, hey,
how are you feeling about all this? And just being like,
you know, I'm scared.

Speaker 2 (01:04:01):
Isn't that playing games?

Speaker 3 (01:04:02):
Though?

Speaker 2 (01:04:02):
Like you would get mad at me because I've done that.

Speaker 4 (01:04:05):
I'm saying I went through your phone, and all he
does is yell at her. Why are you going through
my phone? I went through your phone.

Speaker 3 (01:04:12):
It's not about playing games, It's not it's not about
fishing it out, because I know when you're trying to
fish something out of it.

Speaker 2 (01:04:18):
How is that not fishing.

Speaker 3 (01:04:19):
Because because it's still something that you want to have
a conversation about.

Speaker 2 (01:04:22):
What if it doesn't say anything, He's like, no, I'm good,
I'm excited.

Speaker 3 (01:04:25):
Then then you addressed it like you said.

Speaker 2 (01:04:27):
Okay, because if not, then if all I'm.

Speaker 3 (01:04:29):
Saying, yeah, no, no, don't keep going. All I'm saying
is is started off with saying expressing your fear because
you're this is your first child, You're gonna be a
new mother, there's going to be fear attached. Be like, hey,
I'm really anxious, I'm really fearful. Like, I don't you know,
how are you feeling? And if he does played off
he's like, oh, I'm good, We're gonna be all right,
then then be like okay. And it doesn't even have

(01:04:50):
to be in that moment. It could be later that
day or the next day to be like, hey and
do what Jana said. So that's just my thought.

Speaker 2 (01:04:59):
And if and if he doesn't says to stop the
fishing after that, because I know I've unfortunately done that
in the past two where I've fished old fish. But
I feel like that just I mean, I get what
you're saying, but it's still she's still fishing.

Speaker 3 (01:05:11):
It's it's do you see what I mean? Though? Yeah,
but it's an opportunity to talk about something that should
be talked about anyway. It's not just trying to.

Speaker 4 (01:05:20):
Let me make sure sure we're on the same team.
We're about to have a baby.

Speaker 2 (01:05:23):
Let's okay, So start with Mike and with mine. If
it doesn't happen, all right.

Speaker 1 (01:05:27):
This one's from anonymous. I got engaged to my boyfriend
of three years. We lived together, everything's been great. Well,
one night he went to the baller and was having
a friendly conversation with a woman. At the end of
the night, they exchanged numbers. A week later, my gut
was telling me to go through his phone and it's
on Snapchat. They've been talking and became best friends on it.
When I confronted my fiance, he said, no, no, no,
we're just getting to know each other. Nothing has been
said that would disrespect me or our relationship. He's also

(01:05:50):
never given me a reason not to trust him, so
I let it go. So I messaged the girl on Facebook.
She said she originally said no to exchanging numbers, but
decided she had nothing to lose, so she gave him
her number. She also said he kept initiating the snaps
in the conversations.

Speaker 7 (01:06:03):
I don't know what to do. I don't know who
to believe any of us would be helpful.

Speaker 1 (01:06:06):
And then she also says, I love you both and
literally use your podcast and television shows as therapy to
help me in rough situations. So thank you for being
so raw, open and honest about your guys' lives. It
means a lot.

Speaker 2 (01:06:17):
Thank you.

Speaker 3 (01:06:18):
Thank you Anonymous.

Speaker 2 (01:06:22):
Guys need to have like if you're married, you don't.

Speaker 3 (01:06:26):
If you're engaged, yes hashtag no new friends.

Speaker 4 (01:06:29):
It's like the thing again, it's kind of just one thing.

Speaker 3 (01:06:33):
And we've kind of touched on this before. It's one thing.
If at work and over time with working with somebody,
you you develop a relationship, and you know, but you
talk about it with your partner, your girlfriend or your
wife or whatever they meet them. It becomes like a
mutual relationship just because you're working with somebody. It's just

(01:06:54):
one of those Okay, A lot of people have those,
and that are healthy and within boundaries. Meeting someone out
at a bar, communicating via snapchat, there is nothing healthy
about insaaning. I'm we're just getting to know each other.
Why do you need to get to know some random
shack you met at a bar? That is bold?

Speaker 8 (01:07:13):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:07:13):
I agree, I think we all agree.

Speaker 2 (01:07:16):
So what should she do? I would say, like, stop
communication with her?

Speaker 3 (01:07:20):
Yeah, be like, this doesn't make me feel comfortable. If
he's your fiance, your fiance, you're gonna potentially marry this man.
Say you don't feel comfortable with it, Validate that you've
never given me a reason to trust you, not to
trust you. But I don't like this. I don't feel
comfortable and I'm really sorry.

Speaker 5 (01:07:37):
Mm hm.

Speaker 3 (01:07:38):
So I would like, you know, for you to cease
yees conversation.

Speaker 1 (01:07:47):
It's time for boundaries to be established. Clearly they haven't
been and guys are dumb.

Speaker 2 (01:07:52):
So it needs so yes, that's a good there you go,
popa mark the create boundaries. Boundaries need to be created.

Speaker 3 (01:07:58):
Now.

Speaker 2 (01:08:01):
Hey you guys, I hope every single one of you
have the most amazing Christmas. In New Year, we're going
to be on hiatus for two weeks. We love you
guys so much. For those of you that struggle during
the holiday season, know that you're not alone, Know that
there's people out there that love you and that care
about you. And we just truly hope that you guys

(01:08:22):
have an amazing holiday season and find some peace these
next few weeks. And for all those gods, give a
little love a little, give a little love a little.

Speaker 3 (01:08:31):
And for all those guys out there, if you haven't
gotten something sentimental for your girl, go do it. Just
do it.

Speaker 2 (01:08:38):
Only care about minus Sarah. Just get for the shoes.

Speaker 3 (01:08:41):
Merry Christmas holidays at least whatever you celebrate, enjoy it
and be present in those moments.

Speaker 2 (01:08:49):
And we hope to see you guys in twenty twenty
God willing twenty twenty Hi guys, Bye sad in Another
year

Speaker 4 (01:09:02):
And another one, Buds, another one going, and another one