October 2, 2023 • 46 mins
The legendary Matthew McConaughey is hanging out with Jana to discuss some valuable life lessons you NEED to share with your kids!
Matthew bares all about his strained relationship with his mother and offers advice to anyone struggling with their own parents.
Plus, find out why it's important to play "hard to get" when trying to get your kids to tell you something.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
All right, so I gotta say this is gonna well,
this is going to be a very memorable podcast. I
feel nervous. This is huge.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Can I say? I mean, this is huge. I saw
it come through on my email and I thought, way
to go, Kramer.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
What was the text that you sent again? I said, alright, alright, all.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Right exactly because we're having Matthew McConaughey come on wine
Down today. I thought I was Actually I thought we're
getting punked.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
I did too. I thought it was Mike.
Speaker 5 (00:43):
I did.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
I was like to get there and I'm gonna actually
put on makeup, and then I'm be like, oh, because
I knew.
Speaker 5 (00:51):
I did.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
That's funny.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
I'm excited.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Though I'm excited. I'm nervous too. I'm not a natural interviewer,
and I'm nervous.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
I would say that I am.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
I would say this is the I can't think of
a bigger celebrity I've ever met ever, and I do.
I think the thing is too, is that we've all
kind of grown up with Matthew. Yeah, so it feels
like we've all had this like long relationship with him
and then you you know, to sit in a room
in a way with him and be able to ask.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
He's had a million interviews. Have you ever met him?
I have not.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
I remember I was with Jana when she met him,
and I just stood back and just like I think
my mouth was wide open while she was talking to him.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Well, we share the same publicist, oh and so, and
I've never asked my publicist and she has I mean
big people obviously, like I'm just like her. I sometimes
I feel like i'm her. You know what's the when
you have a lawyer and they just do it for
pro bono, pro bono, like I feel, I feel like
her pro bono clients.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
But no, I mean she.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Gives me pro bono, you know, the lower but it's
definitely not at all. But I mean she definitely gives
me a little you know the first time because I've
had her Jesus for forever I've ever had anything, and
it's been I've been using her for years, so you know,
she gives me sometimes a little bit of a discount.
(02:19):
So again feel very pro bono. When she's got the
Jada Pinketts and the Matthew mcconaugheys, and I mean just yeah,
that's many people and so, but she's.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Not picking up people like me. So let's put that
in perspective. Do you know what I'm saying, like you
should just to put your put your perspective back that
one doesn't love you. But what I'm saying like like
she's she has real actors and actresses and you're a
real actress.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
Well, and she.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Working with you. We're always like if you want to.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
And she was like stop, She's like like yes, of course.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
But we saw what was it is? It was it
an ac ana was oh no.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
No, that a CC awards or something they had for
a little while. I don't even if they have it anymore.
It was not a CM or CMA.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
It was on Fox.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
It was a different one.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
It was some country. It was Country award.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
And I said, Nicole, I've never asked you for one picture. Never,
not one picture, not one I have asked her Back
in the day, I was like, do you know this
person like in the dating era.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
Because I was like, like publicis like they hooked, they had.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Each other up, like that's how I met you know, whatever,
and so whatever whatever, and so I said, you know,
I've never asked you for a picture of Anyboddy. I
was like, but I I, it's Matthew McConaughey, like please,
And he was lovely.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Oh he was so sweet.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
I just feel like he's always that way. But you
know what the problem is, though, that was before the cloud.
I don't know where that photo is. No, is it printed?
It might be fasted it somewhere, and I had to
have been, but there doesn't. It's like not in my cloud.
Well that's depressing, I know, because it's.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
I look back.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
The only thing that is that are in my cloud
are probably from when I had Jolie same.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
I don't have anything free love.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Maybe I have it. I have a lot of photos.
I'll go back and look. I feel like I'm a hundred.
The cloud confuses me, but also like where did it go?
Where did all those photos go? Like are they on
some drive that you know, like an extern? Well?
Speaker 4 (04:23):
Yeah, so I'm like, where did those photos go? As
ZIP drive?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
I don't even I don't even have proof of my
Matthew photo. I remember it, oh, I remember it. I
remember the dress, I remember the cheese of my smile.
I remember unfortunately quoting how to Lose Guy in ten days,
like our love for and you let it die Like
he's never fucking heard that before.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
So I remember being like, God, I wish I could ask,
but I can't ask. So I'm just gonna watch Jana
love him.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
But she did ask the other to day. I guess
I never ask you never did.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
I don't, but I did for I mean, I have,
I have it.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
I just feel like you don't who for who?
Speaker 1 (05:02):
I feel like maybe one tree hill or something at
some point.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
Oh yeah, that tracks.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
I mean, I don't know. In there, you just knew.
You're like, hey, Catherine, why don't you get in this photo?
Speaker 4 (05:13):
Oh that's right, I did.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Yeah, that's probably what it was. So I didn't have
to ask me. But Lance, we were just like sitting
there having a conversation with him, and then I was
like I usually do this, but I feel like now
is like the time I need the picture with Lance.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
You know what's funny is like I don't ask for
pictures anymore because I just I think once you get
to a place, right, then it becomes weird, like we
can't be friends if I take a picture with you.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
So I think you think that, but it's not weird.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Really, I don't think it was weird when you asked
to Panga.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
To Panga, I was gonna say to Panga and then
I was gonna yeah, Dan Danielle. But I feel like
she loved you just as much and was just as excited.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Yes, And I think it also put me in the
fan zone. That's what I'm saying. We're ever going to
be friends, you know what I mean. That's because I
think her as a fan, so I think that piece
is I.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Don't necessarily in that instance because what every celebrity forty
year old grew up watching that show. I guarantee you
more celebrities have done that, like guarantee it, I guarantee it.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
I just I feel the way you feel once I've
like documented our first time meeting. I'm a fan. You
can't under you have a photo with Lance Yell are friends.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
But as a fan, I think like he's so sweet
to me, and he's always been so sweet to me,
But I don't think he would be like when he's
a Nashville, is gonna call me up like oh.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Yeah, I mean yes, No, Tapega's probably not calling you
when she comes to Nashville. I wish you was she
gonna call you anyway, no, and you have a photo,
so done right?
Speaker 4 (06:50):
Well sure.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
I also think there's a difference between you taking a
picture from me and me taking a selfie with a person,
Like selfies are like friend zone, Like I'm not taking
a self with Jess when I met her with who
jessicas Jess, just Jess.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Or you have someone else. That's what usually needs to happen,
like like we force it, like hey, Jana, like come on, Jana, Tapanga,
get over here and take a photo instead of that,
that's better exactly. That's what she tried to do in
those instances if there's somebody, but like that whole situation,
she was like Tapanga.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Oh, I straight up fangirl. And then we were in
the on the way home from Vegas in the what
was that called it a shuttle? Yeah, the Boy Meets
World cast was in there, so you know rider who
I just had Like.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
That's not his? Is that? Wait? Is that that his
real name? That's really yeah?
Speaker 2 (07:43):
But like and then the older brother was in there,
but he's talking like I have no idea who he is.
And then the whole time I'm like, I know exactly
who you are because I've watched you every Friday. He's like,
I mean, you might not even know who I am.
I was like, no, I actually know exactly who you are.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
I think he was trying to make a point. No
he was, Yeah, I think he definitely.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
But he was sweet.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
He probably wanted ton't probably needs to feel a little
like you know who he is.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Well, his point too is that he doesn't know.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
He goes, you are, I.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Don't know who you are?
Speaker 4 (08:10):
He goes, do you have a podcast?
Speaker 5 (08:12):
Here?
Speaker 1 (08:12):
I go, don't we?
Speaker 2 (08:13):
All right?
Speaker 4 (08:14):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Which it was endearing though. It was sweet.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
Yeah, so Vegas overall was good.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Yeah, it was great, good, and he wasn't cute cute, cute,
thank you that little bump and then the shoes you
wear pregnant really shots off though, because I wouldn't even
attempt to squeeze the sausages into those shoes.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
So she usually pregnant all the things like I'm like,
my feet are killing me, and she's just like everything
is fine this time? Could oh good, you're him not
long and she was like, I cannot walk like she
It was those were tough.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
She was very mad at her stylist. I could not walk.
My feet were killing me. So I took them off good.
And then everyone was staring at me, and I was like,
I don't care. I get a free pass.
Speaker 4 (08:59):
Yeah yeah. And then your cat took her shoes off with.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
And then everyone does. And then I had Walmart feed.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Oh it's drinking you guys. Shoes off in public places
are hard for me. I go to a crunchy school.
Kids don't wear Matthew's here.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
We're going to take a breath and a break and
we'll be right back.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
My goodness, good morning, Matthew McConaughey.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
It's McConaughey day. How are you.
Speaker 5 (09:42):
It was this living room I was hanging out. Look
like you're in the place to be.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
I mean, where are you at, buddy.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
We have an extra chair for you over there, right
over there.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
We'll just copy paste you, put you in there, we'll
shift you around.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Thank you so much for coming on wine down.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
We just greatly appreciate the time that you're about to
spend with us, So thank you.
Speaker 5 (10:05):
Well, thanks for having me. I'm looking forward to it.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
It's a huge day because we're here just because.
Speaker 5 (10:11):
Really sometimes that's reason enough.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Yeah, just because of your new kids book, and you're
a New York Times best selling author uga In Matthew McConaughey,
how's it feel?
Speaker 5 (10:23):
How about that?
Speaker 4 (10:24):
No big deal?
Speaker 5 (10:26):
Right, yeah, that's very very cool. You know, when I
when I wrote green Lights, now, all I've ever really
done is films. I didn't know what sort of the
measurement was, like what are we calling? What are we
hoping for? What are we shooting for? And someone to
tell me, oh, you want to hope you get on
the top ten. It's like, okay, it's go over top ten,
and then all sudden come out number one. I'm like, okay,
And then we've put out the children's book. I had
(10:48):
no idea it hopes, but all of a sudden tell me, hey,
New York Times are one best hell And I'm like, great.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
And let us toot your horn for you too, because
green Lights.
Speaker 4 (10:57):
I have a very really really respect that book a lot.
And we'll talk about that later.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
But Green Lights stayed on the New York Times Best
selling list for like at least one hundred and ten
weeks or something crazy.
Speaker 5 (11:11):
I think we're right at one hundred a little over
one hundred weeks now, which is to think about. I'm
told that's not normal. To understand it's not. And I
I got to say, it's been really enjoyable asking people
that come up to me and go because a lot
of people that read Green Lights don't come up, Hey,
really enjoyed the book, appreciate it. They like grab me
(11:33):
and make look in the eye and go, hey that book, yeah,
thank you, and it did this for me or that,
and that is I mean rewarding in a different way
than even successful movies I've done, because that was the
closest extension of me. The book was of any art
I've ever put out. You know.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Besides, we're so honest, you know, I mean the you know,
when you're open and you're starting to read it, you're like, wow,
you went straight with stuff with your mom and it
was just like okay, Like I mean, you took us
on the ride with that book, and it was I
loved how vulnerable you got in that book because you
humanized yourself. But you also, I mean, you're you're still
(12:14):
you know, Matthew McConaughey, and you have obviously the name
and all the things to your to your resume, but
like again, people look at you and it's like I
want to be like, hey, so how did you really
work through that with your mom and the forgiveness and
all those pieces, And it's just people can relate to
you because of that book, really truly.
Speaker 5 (12:31):
I mean I've been yeah, I've been told that. I
think I think you know. Some people obviously, I think
picked it up. Maybe they were a fan of me
and my celebrity. Some people didn't get it because they
were not a fan of me and my celebrity. But
I think anyone who looked at it, I've been told, said, oh,
we were past the celebrity part. On page ten, we
were like WHOA. At the same time, I think the
(12:53):
fact that you know was a celebrity that they looked
at and they're like, oh, I can relate than I
thought I could relate to you, And you're relating to
me more than I thought you could relate to me
talking about the human experience. So that's been a really
fun part of the ride with that book. And anyway,
now I got just because, which is really another enjoyable
(13:14):
conversation that is different with everybody I'm talking to. But
I've been having just as much conversation, more conversations I
think with adults about it than I even have with
children about it.
Speaker 4 (13:24):
Well, yeah, in the book too.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
I mean you talk about the kid's book, it's you
talk about forgiveness and that as well. And so I'm curious, like,
what is your overall view on forgiveness?
Speaker 5 (13:35):
Oh, that's a fun question. Yeah, you know the couplet
And just because of the young boy on the skateboard,
it said, just because I let go doesn't mean that
I stopped climbing. That was about forgiveness. And you know,
I mean everything we do, it seems to be in
life is between letting go and hanging on. It's either
(13:57):
between it or on the other side of it, right,
And when do you do this? I talk about it
in green lights? I talk about it to yellow light
What we have a choice? You know? Do I persist?
Do I hang on? Do I keep trying? Is this
about endurance, resilience, fortitude? Or do you go? You know what? No,
I'm letting go. And the world tells us a lot
of times, I think, probably especially males, if you let go,
(14:21):
it's weak. If you if you are vulnerable, if that
would be called vulnerable. If you forgive, that may be
a weakness. I remember I grew up, you never really
heard I've been around a lot of males that had
trouble saying two words, I'm sorry. I've to admitted I
even have trouble.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
I married one. Actually I'm the incident. Yeah, we're working
on it now.
Speaker 5 (14:44):
I'm working on it too.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
We all are.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
I actually have hard time saying it myself.
Speaker 5 (14:48):
And it's and how much how much I think a
lot of times have the hardest time saying it too,
is ourselves. I'm the last one to forgive me, and
it's kind of arrogant of us. Actually, I think, you know,
to be like, oh, I'm so, I'm so right about
being judging jury about what I should forgive myself about. No,
(15:10):
I'm not forgiven. It's kind of area. It's kind of arrogant.
But forgiveness is a way of climbing, and it is
a way, and it frees up the forgiver even if
the person on the other side has done you wrong.
I mean that couple. It also ties into I may
forgive you, but that doesn't mean I still trust. That's
a form of forgiveness, you know what, forgive you, right,
(15:32):
but it doesn't mean I trust you anymore, especially if
you're a repeat offender and you've been doing me wrong
or fibbing to me over and over and over. I
mean want shame on you to I shame on me,
But I can forgive you because that frees the forgiver.
That frees the one doing the forgiving, regardless of what
the other one's doing or not doing, you know what
I mean. So it is a way of climbing in life,
(15:53):
evolving in life.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
So I have a question for you, because I would say, naturally,
just as a forty two year old female in the
United States, I've always been a Matthew McConaughey fan because
that's just kind of like what we do. We just
love you, We think you're great. You're in all of
our favorite movies. But it's interesting to me because one
of the things as I did a deeper dive and
started to respect you as like a family man, a husband,
(16:17):
you know, a dad, is that it feels to me
like you've always been this very introspective human. Like you're
a very dapper human, but you're also a very introspective human,
which is one of the reasons I've always kind of
gravitated towards you. So have you always been introspective Matthew like,
you know, as I'm reading Green Lights and I'm reading
you building the Treehouse, which the cover of just because
(16:41):
is not lost on me at all. But as I'm
reading that, and I'm thinking, like, you always have seemed
to have this tie to your innertuition or like a
general discernment, even when you seemed care free, it felt
to me like you've just always been a deeper person.
So do you think, Matthew that so Treehouse Matthew and
(17:02):
fifty three year old husband father, Matthew has always been
the same in a sense, or has he evolved into
someone that you're just immensely proud of, like the world
is proud of you.
Speaker 5 (17:15):
I mean, essentially the same. You know. That's one of
the things I learned when I wrote green Lights, which
is based on the fifty first fifty years of my life. Oh,
I remember a lot more than I thought I forgot.
Oh I'm essentially much closer to the same young person
that I thought I was not anymore. We learned it
when we become parents. Oh, nature a lot more powerful
(17:39):
than the nurture is very powerful, but nature has a
lot more to do with it than I thought when
I had children. DNA they are who they are. I mean,
i've I was. I think I was always introspective. And
whether it's whether it's preparation, I mean, I think the
(18:00):
introspection that I like to prepare and think about and
take context and observe and decide and think about it
this way or that way or this way in life
allows me to then come across or be Oh, he's lazy, fair,
he's relaxed. He kind of rolled out of bed and
kind of just did it, you know, he kind of
(18:20):
just I don't know, he's just winging it. But the introspection,
I think allows me to feel like and I like
to feel like I'm winging it. I like to be
unscripted in life, but it comes with a lot of context.
I mean, I like to, as I write in green lace,
create my weather so I can't blow in the breeds.
But I'm working on the weather and I'm looking at
(18:42):
the forecast. You know, what's ahead of me and choices
and what are going to be the consequences of choices
and what really matters here And try to understand the
other side of who I'm dealing with, What will be
the consequences for you if I do something this way
or that way, and so yeah, I think the introspection
is part of like daily preparing daily for life, and
(19:06):
you know it is you get it going. You got
a system going in this role and you don't have
to think of it. You don't want to think about it.
Everyone's catching green light kind of in a groove. We're
in a flow. Things are happening. I got in the
shortest line of supermarket again, you know what I mean.
That lasts, That lasts for a little while when you're
in it, you think that's it. Oh, I found it,
tadah No.
Speaker 6 (19:26):
So a bogue'll call either you'll create it or the
world or create it right, or a child to get
sick or something, and it throws a wrench in the
whole thing, and then you just I mean, I think
I've I think I've always.
Speaker 5 (19:37):
Had a pretty clear moral moral bottom line of who
who I am. I haven't always lived up to it,
I've i've, you know, but but I think I've had
a clear when when I when I was when I
was off track, I think I could recognize it and go,
that's that that that behavior is not going to last.
It's not going to bring you many residuals on af
(20:00):
you keep that up. That's what I talk about in Greenlights.
There's certain things I've done, like that this is a stop,
this is not a stay. You're renting this and go ahead, okay,
but know that this is not it's not you can't sustain.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
This, you know, in just because though the book obviously
is a lot about lessons, and as we're all obviously moms,
what's something that a what is it kind of twofold?
What is one of the biggest lessons that you've learned
that has kind of shaped who you are? And then
what's a lesson that you wish that your parents would
have helped you with or taught you when you were younger?
Speaker 5 (20:43):
Yeah, what's a lesson I've learned? Let me answer maybe
the second one first, when they would have wish they
would have taught me? You know, we this something I
learned later in life. And it's a double edged sword
because it's almost like so many times in life, our
(21:05):
greatest strength can be our greatest weakness, especially if we
exaggerate that strength. Right my, my, my parents, we were
so resilient. It was so get up, dust yourself off,
come on, get up, do it. Again. You want you
want to quick quick righting about your shoes. I'm gonna
(21:26):
introduce you to give with no feats. Whoa you were
just like onto the baseline necessities. The thing is, if
you brush yourself off so quickly every single time you
step in doo doo, you're a repeat offender. You keep
stepping in the same pilot every time around the bend,
right because you never really stopped to go. Hang on
(21:47):
a second before I dust myself off, let me have
a look back over here. Oh there it is. I know,
I see where it is. I understand why I keep
stepping in it. So next time around the bend in
life we can go. I know this is where it's
coming up. I'm going to dodge it this time. So,
my that was one of my great resilience is one
of my greatest strains. I would even say preparations one
(22:10):
of my greatest strains. But when I over exaggerate those,
I can be a repeat offender and just have great
resilience and endurance. But boy, I get up. I keep
dusting myself off instead of maybe learning. If I prepare, prepare, prepare.
I love to prepare. Well, sometimes I can prepare myself,
I'm going to go, and like, well, I prepared myself
(22:32):
right through doing it, you know what I mean. So
it's knowing when to Some of those are two of
my greatest strains, I think, but also two things that
I have to watch exaggerating so they don't become a weakness.
And the first side of that question, what was it?
What is one of the things maybe I learned from
them that from.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
My parents, well you wish you what have I think
you kind of answered that though too, see.
Speaker 5 (22:56):
I would have had that. I kind of I learned
that later on, like in my thirties. I realized that,
and I didn't go, oh, damn it, Mom, damn it, Dad,
why didn't you teach me that? I just noticed, Oh,
we never really keep I keep doing this. And because
my mom is that she's she is really an example
(23:19):
of the value of denial if you truly commit to it.
Speaker 4 (23:25):
I resonate with.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
That our therapy session last week with our therapists around
the same thing and then having to just go, okay,
but you know, they don't they didn't do the therapy,
and that they don't know the boundaries. And now I'm
feeling like I'm the adult and it's like, wait a minute,
I'm just like, but they're also my moms, you know,
our moms. We're trying to figure out how to go
on with with having all these things that you wish
(23:48):
that they would do.
Speaker 5 (23:50):
But shouldn't we just give them some amnesty though, especially
that then that age, it's like, because we learned it,
I try to change my mom. I talk about it
in Greenlights. For eight years, her and I had a
strained relationship where I could not have more than a
conversation of how mom doing good? Love you by anything
she asked me. I couldn't tell her personally because she
didn't have a governor. She could go to the she'd
(24:13):
go to the press. She showed up on our copy
taking people through my childhood rooms in and this is
where he lost his virginity. And I'm like, mom, She's like, oh,
I didn't think anybody would know. I didn't think he
maybe watching. He was like, no, it's just eight years
where I could not talk to her. I tried to
change her. I need she's a mom right now, not
a fan, and.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
I didn't have You know, isn't that we're kind of
like the forgiveness But I don't trust you. Part that
comes in that is, I mean, that's I think what
we've had. I've had to do with my own mother,
who had those situations with I think you get to
a point where you can forgive them, but you can't
trust them and they may not be a mother figure to.
Speaker 5 (24:52):
You or and I think we have to just go
my my hunch when I was wanted to, when I
but I tried to pull off. I kept trying to go, well,
I'm going to give you more information to see if
I can trust you with it again, and it's like
we're trying to prove that point. Just don't give it
to them, don't give them that much, and just go
that's where our relationship is, and let's let's make it
(25:14):
healthy and fun with what we can both handle. And
do you say, oh, but it's a shallow relationship. Now,
let's not, I say shallow. There's a lot of people
that I friends and relationships I have in my life
that I think are better because they are at arms length.
We don't need full, close up, all detail, all access
intimacy with everybody in our life. It's overload. There's some
(25:37):
people I like running into a couple of times a year.
That's where we're best.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Yeah, I've learned that too. Not everyone gets an all access.
I'd get I'd get everybody a VIP all access tell
you everything. And now I've like, you know, almost forty
I'm like, oh, that list has gone down to just
maybe one hand now of you know, the access port,
because you realize really it's just yeah, I'm in a
season of relationship within capacity and that's just how I
(26:05):
keep it.
Speaker 4 (26:05):
My mom is in that list.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Yeah, yeah, and I think that's okay. We've had that
conversation several times about our moms and you know, how
do you get to that point of just being okay
with that being at a place I think I've been
there longer than y'all have or you know, I don't know,
but it's kind of you get to that place where like,
that's okay, this is what the relationship looks like, and
I'm okay with that.
Speaker 4 (26:26):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 6 (26:27):
I think that.
Speaker 5 (26:28):
I think that's the place to get to because it's
it's amnesty for them and us.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
That's what I was going to say.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
It's more relieving for me at that point, honestly, just
to go, I know what I'm dealing with and it
is what it is. And I think we sometimes in
our age groups will say, like, for us, it feels
like we've like failed or we've there's an acceptance that
feels like it comes with some sort of guilt or
like failure. But that's not it. It's just like we
can observe. And that's what I've always Actually, one of
(26:56):
the few words I would use top few words to
describe you from my seat is just a girl in
America is you're a very observant human. And that to
me has never come across like you know, lazier unprepared
to me, it's just always like he's taking it in.
It's intentional behavior. And I think your wife just recently
spoke out about that too, that everyone's got this idea
(27:18):
of who Matthew McConaughey is. And she's like, listen, you
don't know what is stunning by the way she is.
She's a beautiful human. She's teaching me how to make
you know coleslaw without.
Speaker 4 (27:30):
Mayo online, and I'm like, I.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Love this chick.
Speaker 4 (27:35):
She's awesome. Do you feel like that is?
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Is it been interesting to just watch her say what
she knows to be true and to talk about the relate.
Even she talks about the relationship with your mom.
Speaker 5 (27:46):
Yeah, well I'm you know, we also I would say
this my family and part of the I think Camilla
and I as well, we shares the value of sense
of humor in comedy. I mean, the stuff she said
about my mom and my mom calling her different name,
(28:07):
that right, it passes that and issue. Some people are like,
oh my gosh, no, this was this is good And
Camilla's wasn't wounded about it either. It was just it
was just it's funny. It's for some people, you know.
I mean, look, we say this all the time in
my family, and what tickles us may bruce others, you know,
but but we but it's that's just too And the
(28:29):
people go to, you know, were you mad at your
Mom's like, no, that's again, I'm not changing her. That's mom.
She was looking out for her youngest. She didn't know
my feelings, but she tested my feelings and tested the
woman that I had the feelings for. That's kind oft
in the big picture, he got it's pretty cool actually,
and the woman that I was in love with went
right through it. And when she went through it, and
(28:51):
stood up and said, hey, miss McConaughey, let me tell
you something. My mom went there weak and you know, So,
I mean it's we you know, we're pretty honest. We're
awesome about who we are we as you were talking
about filters, not that we're not an open book. I mean,
(29:13):
I I We've been doing this long enough to know
I can tell when the thought comes to my mind
it's about to come out of my mouth. Oh if
I say that, that's going to be a headline. Ooh
if I say there. You know, certain things in the
Book of Greenlights, there are certain things to be like
why didn't you explain in the opening some of these
incidents like no, no, no, no, because that would have
been the headline and that's not what the book was about.
Speaker 4 (29:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (29:33):
So, I mean, but I try to we try to
not make it as hard. You know, when you first
when you're first starting, and I know when I first
got famous and at Mike's in front of my face,
I was given I had two years of giving the
most boring interviews in the world because I had stock answers,
because I didn't want to be fresh and off the cuff.
(29:55):
And that's a great question. And then be frank and
be honest. No, I was just given these stock answers
and they were okay, but damn they were boring. And
you do it for a while, you get to go.
You kind of know what you what's worth sharing, Know
that yes I'm talking to the three of you, but
yes this is being recorded, and yes we'll be broadcast.
Unlike what my mother said when she had CBS or
(30:15):
the hard copy in the house. He goes, I thought
it was just me and the cameraman. Yeah, that camera,
that tool. I mean, bring you and a whole lot
more people.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Right well in just because what do you like? What's
the overall message that you want kids to to have
when you know, when when they're done reading it, and
(30:46):
when the mom or dad is.
Speaker 5 (30:48):
Hey to Life's life's about, life's poetry, life's in you
into life's context. What may you may feel one way
today and you may feel different way tomorrow about the
same situation. Instead of that being like, oh my gosh,
there's something wrong with me. No, that's okay. We are
all walking contradictions, consistently contradictions that two things can be
(31:14):
true at the same time, that I can I can
wake up and be in a great mood and send
you a text and I forgot to put the wink
emoji on it. But you had a bad morning because
your dog's sick, and you received that text and it
sounds like I'm coming at you. Oh, you know, I
(31:35):
don't know where you are. You don't know where I am,
but hey, can I take the time to go? Oh?
You didn't receive that in the same way that I
gave that. Oh, okay, because I just thought it was obvious. No,
it's not always obvious. So checking in where someone else is,
you know how many times a year kids and adults.
I know I do it myself and I'm excited and
(31:56):
I'm really nervous. Well, when you're young, you're like, is
that okay to feel those two things at the same time.
I think I need to feel I'm supposed to feel
one of the other. Right, No, I just need to
be excited. No, you're excited, but you can be nervous
at the same time. That's how it works, Just to
know that's okay. As children are growing and finding out
(32:17):
their own identity, trying to figure out who I am,
who they are, and it swings all over and it
goes here and then it goes over here to go
that's okay, instead of getting so frustrated or confused. That's
what I hope children get out of it, and I
hope the adults, those adults are reminded of that. Because
there's a proper leniency that we can better have with
each other and ourselves. There's also spots where we have
(32:40):
to say the buck stops here, and I'm not putting
up with it anymore, you know, But we can be
more properly lenient with ourselves than others, and I think
understand and still make a choice about what we want
to do. Make a judgment, be discerning, but here are
both sides of the story. I understand both sides of
the situation before we do.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Dude, I think I'm still trying to and that that almost.
Speaker 5 (33:01):
For we all are, right.
Speaker 3 (33:03):
Yeah, The part in just because it says even though
I am still doesn't mean that I'm not busy was
something that really hit me in this. I'm in a
very observant season right now, just a lot of grief
and then working through that. You know, you learn so
much through grief, and you learn what's important and you
learn what's noise and what's valuable information. And so I
(33:25):
love books like this to sit with my little ones
and be able to like read it, but at the
same time just be reminded of like all of the
holding of both and like that's a big thing on
this on the show all the time.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
I have an and tattoo on my thing from therapy
and going through divorce. It's like I'm allowed to be
broken and hopeful at the same time.
Speaker 4 (33:46):
Yeah, you know, still and busy or yes.
Speaker 5 (33:50):
And is the paradox, which I think is where the
truth of living is. It's you know a lot of
people go that don't bring that word up into mighty
big word. It's a cool word, I mean. And actually
I think when we admit just admitting how we're contradictions,
then if contracts become something really valuable, which is the paradox,
which is both are true, two things can be true
(34:11):
at the same time. Comes from my favorite Bible verse
in the Bible, Matthew six twenty two. If they iv single,
the whole body will be full of light. That's all
about judgment, that's all about this perceived duality. We see.
If two things are posing, so they must floodhead. And
if they meld if they come together. Oh that's compromised.
(34:33):
Well no, maybe it's not compromise. Maybe it's actually just
a whole lot more truth.
Speaker 3 (34:38):
And I witness when we do that and have the
vulnerability to say, like, listen, I'm not nailing it or
I'm holding both of these things at once. It's so
interesting because it's almost impossible for people to live in
a fence with you when you have that kind of
maturity or that kind of acceptance of just what things
are what they are in this moment. Do you find
that that's true.
Speaker 5 (34:57):
Old fence live it. Yes, Yes, it's true. Yeah, it is.
It's it's that that's the opening couplet. Just because they
threw the dart doesn't mean that it's stuck. It's like
when you're in that that head spirit frame, they can
I can throw the dart, but it can't stick unless
you let it right in that d space that thing
(35:19):
just thing involves you can't stick. I'm not going there.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
Yeah, and just because you threw it doesn't mean it's sticking.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
I know, we only have like one more minute with you,
but I know, Kat, we were because we were talking
about I'm like, you know, with my my youngest or
not my oldest, actually she's almost eight. But Mama was like, honey,
you want to talk to me or you can tell
me anything. And we were reading the breakdown, and.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
Well, yeah, and I was, you know, I saw that
you had talked about you and your wife. How you
so I have a preteen, a teenager and then a
younger one as well, so closer in ages with you.
But how you don't want or expect your children to
tell you everything, right, And I'm very intrigued by that
because you know, I grew up in a family where
we didn't talk about anything, so I've kind of gone
(36:06):
that opposite, like I want us to talk about everything.
So I'm very intrigued and kind of your reasoning behind that,
and you know how that works for you guys.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
And also I'm in the car with my daughter being
like I can see she sat out the window, and
I just want her to be so frickin' happy, because
you know, I feel maybe she's thinking about I don't know,
like she's got two houses or I don't know what
I make up that she's thinking. But I'm like, honey,
you know you can talk to me whenever you want
to talk to me and you can tell me everything.
And I'm like, and I just now I feel like
she almost shuts down more because I'm like down her.
Speaker 5 (36:32):
I know, I know, I know. It's and then and go.
In all relationships, there is value in plain hard to
get so interesting with kids, you know, Oh, make them
come chase you a little bit, you know what I mean.
But the the I want, I want him to have access,
(36:57):
and I want to keep access with them, and I
want to time to be a friend. And there's damn
sure time to be a parent, especially in the early years.
You know, they don't they needed as parents more than friends.
But that friend is is I'll share with you. But
I also want look at Treehouse on the cover that
in my childhood, that's where I had my secrets. That
(37:20):
was my place, notim. I wouldn't tell my parents. Maybe
a friend or two that show, but that's where I
wrote things down. That's why we have a diary or
a journal. It's not for us to see. And I
want to let my kids know I'm not opening your journal.
I'm not opening that's yours.
Speaker 4 (37:36):
Damn. I mean, I've opened to her journal. You're a
journal opener.
Speaker 5 (37:40):
I am. I don't know things, but there's some things.
I mean, in a realistic I don't want to. There's
things that my wife I don't want to. I don't know,
and leave mine eye do going to go through mine?
I'm not. I don't want to, and I want my
kids to get out. Look, it's kind of like a
want them to get We want our kids to get
(38:01):
up to some goodsif some good healthy misschief. We want
them to fall and skin their knee. Don't necessarily want
to fall and break their arm, but we want them
to send their knee, you know what I mean. I
don't want to insulate them so much. It's got that
metaphor for like we all had our kids climbing in
the tree, and it's like they're out there, they fell
(38:25):
from there, and that that's gonna hurt, and you kind
of look at where they fall on and it's grass,
it's st augustin. Well, that'll soften a little bit. And
then all of a sudden they get up to a
certain height. I fackt nervous right now because they'll get
nervous and they haven't fallen yet. Children are afraid of
heights until they fall. So you're like, I don't want
to be afraid of heights too early. But I do
want to say, hey, j in here, Mom needs to
(38:49):
talk to you. We got your friends. Come up. Yeah,
they're here right now. Just take your time, come on
down right and you're sitting there going oh, if they'd
have fallen from that, that could have been really really bad,
you know. So I wanted to get up to some mischief.
I want him to have some secrets that I want
to tell them. You know what, don't tell me that.
(39:10):
And that's also a version indirectly of playing hard to get.
That's actually sometimes when they will tell us.
Speaker 4 (39:16):
Thanks, that's really good tips right there. I'll like to
go home and I have to replay don't tell me.
I like that.
Speaker 3 (39:23):
Well, it's like how do you get a kid to
smile on a picture? You tell them don't smile?
Speaker 4 (39:26):
Don't you do it? Yeah? Well, Matthew, thank you.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
I have one rapid fire for you just because of
our our our, the age we are, Andy or Mary.
That's all I gotta know how to lose a guy
in ten day's our wedding planner?
Speaker 4 (39:41):
Oh, Andy or Mary?
Speaker 2 (39:44):
I need one. You have to just pick one. You
have to give it to me. Nope, there's no there's
don't give me the like, oh, I'm going to play
both sides, and it doesn't have.
Speaker 5 (39:53):
The actresses from the classic romantic comedies of all time.
We're class yeah, rom com of all time. It's a
gift that keeps on giving to me too. I mean
there's some people that come up on Valentine's Day, Mother's
Day throughout the year and they are like, they come
right up, they how's the fern?
Speaker 4 (40:15):
You let it die?
Speaker 2 (40:19):
Okay, all right, enough said, I love it. Well, Matthew,
thank you so much for coming on wine down. We
appreciate it so so so much.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
Thanks for letting it be excited and nervous.
Speaker 4 (40:27):
We love you.
Speaker 5 (40:29):
Talk to you next time.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
Okay, thanks bye.
Speaker 4 (40:33):
Okay, that guys, that was like great, Yeah, it.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
Was so good.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
He doesn't allow you to be nervous, by the way.
I wanted to just I'm like, I can't open a can.
Speaker 5 (40:44):
There we go.
Speaker 4 (40:44):
There.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
I'm glad you pulled that last question.
Speaker 3 (40:47):
I was.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
I was like, we got a wrap. I was scared
to go into it.
Speaker 4 (40:50):
Got you but this is such an important question.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
I know, but I was like, there's so many things
with it, but I think we covered it like in
a couple of minutes.
Speaker 4 (40:57):
It was great. Yeah, I love him. He's smart too.
Again with those words.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
The thing is is I wanted his advice on like everything.
I'm like, could you just sit with me and tell
me how to like be a person, Because essentially.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
I told my husband before I left the house this.
Maria said, he goes, well, what do you want to say?
And I said, really, I just want to say, give
me a commencement speed, Like yeah, I just I'm in
need of that.
Speaker 4 (41:19):
Like he's so wise.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
You want to drive in a car. I want to
drive in a Lincoln with him. Oh God, that'd be
so interesting.
Speaker 3 (41:26):
I read Green Lights the book, like actually I love books,
like to turn the pages like a literal book, you know,
instead of like a Kindle version or whatever. And then
I often will couple it with listening to the audio
so I don't have to miss a book. I can
keep doing it unfolding laundry or whatever. And when the
baby was really really little, I that Green Lights is
(41:46):
what kept me Like I mean, I was just flying,
I was just in. It was just so beautiful and
you're in this like very raw hormonal moment where everything
the world has opened up, and you've been in the
thin places. And then I tried to listen to the
audio book and I I couldn't get the Lincoln commercial
out of my head. And I think I got to
go back to just reading the pages as I read
it in a different voice than him.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
I would love to hear him reading.
Speaker 4 (42:09):
Well, most moms did enjoy.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
Say that's just going to do when I get done.
Speaker 3 (42:14):
My husband came to the lawndroom and he goes, is
that Matthew McConaughey, And is it?
Speaker 4 (42:17):
Indeed it is? Here's your Honday zo.
Speaker 3 (42:20):
Well, all right, all right, all right, what an icon
you guys iconic Matthew Khane. Y'all get his kid's book
just because I mean, I I truly want to read it.
Speaker 4 (42:30):
Oh yes, for me too.
Speaker 3 (42:32):
I think my copy lands today on my porch.
Speaker 4 (42:34):
Actually I got it, just amazoned it a couple of days.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
And I'm going to go buy journals for my kids
and say, hey, you write in your journal. You don't
have to tell me.
Speaker 4 (42:42):
I know, I'm such a it's hard, but he's right.
I mean, there's so much true you.
Speaker 3 (42:47):
Guys, just think about I think about that a lot,
and I know that I know that we have all
walked a very honest with each other, whether we share
all the details on the podcast specifically or out of
just respect, we keep ourselves here. But I feel like
we all grew up in a way. There is some
there is some good old days to what we all experienced.
(43:07):
Like I mean, I was doing things I shouldn't be doing.
I was, you know it, partying in cornfields and bonfires,
and like, I want my kids to have those memories.
But then it's like the falling out of the tree
thing you talked about. I mean, I'm the girl that's
down there with like a safety net and a harness and.
Speaker 4 (43:24):
A caribbeane or going there too, you know. But that's
not well.
Speaker 1 (43:27):
I think it's hard in this day and age because
I'm not a helicopter parent. In that situation, I'm like,
let them go, let them run, let them do, let
them fall. But then with like like phones and all that,
I'm very much a helicopter parent and I cannot figure
out that like.
Speaker 4 (43:42):
That's smart though, yeah, I agree it.
Speaker 1 (43:44):
Is, But I think there also has to be a
little bit of a I don't have to say, well,
what's going on here? I get really bad about them,
like what's going on with this girl here? What's going
on with this there? And so I have to back
away and only really pay attention to the really important
in fall maybe in their friendships or maybe you know,
learn those lessons. And that's so hard for me.
Speaker 4 (44:05):
That's because you're a good mom.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
Yeah, but I also can step in a little too much.
Speaker 2 (44:10):
I think, because well, for me, I make up that
I'm doing that because I want to be a different
version of my parents, well saying of what my my
younger child needed. So I might be you talk to me,
they tell me, and I'm there for you.
Speaker 3 (44:25):
And so one thing I did do just recently is
I explained to love that there's kind of two friends
and two types of friends in the world. And they'll
be a type of friend that needs to tell somebody
it's in their DNA. The minute you tell them something,
they have to tell one other person. That's just who
they are. And there's people like that. And I said,
and there's other people that you can tell that are
a vault you know that you just need to say
something to you know, it's safe and they can keep
(44:46):
it in like a little house and it's not a secret.
It's just private information. And I said, I am a
vault friend and she said, wait, what do you mean.
So we were talking about it and I said, well,
I know stuff about like all my friends, you know,
and I don't want to tell anybody, and it's okay
because I'm safe to them. I was like, not being
a good friend, y'all. This chick opened up her vault
and started filling the cutest. She was like, I gotta
(45:10):
tell you. Emmy asked a boy to marry him and
he said yes, and it.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Was just precious.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
But I thought, like all of the time, I'm so like, well,
you can tell me anything. But I'm also like a
little hood too. I feel like she can tell I'll
get like angry or irritated with people, and I'm not
afraid to with the records true, you know, right, But
I think then she's like nervous about me in a
different way than I was nervous about my parents.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
It's we just have Me and Emmy just had this
conversation the other day because we're kind of talking about
like the hierarchy, hierarchy and friendships and I was like, okay,
so this one is this is the girl that rules
the roost. She's deciding who's friends with who this week.
Y'all are upset right now because you're not in with her.
But guess what, you're talking trash right now. You're gonna
want to be friends with her next week, you know.
And I'm gonna be mad when you asked me to
(45:53):
have her over next week because you're telling me everything
that she's She was like, okay, got it, So that's
where that's coming in. I'm like, you kind of can't
tell me all that because then Mama bears coming out
and I'm like, well, she ain't coming to my house.
I don't like her, you know, or whatever. So it's
just all so interesting, and that age starts, Oh yeah,
it's fun.
Speaker 3 (46:12):
I had to talk with Amma at school, my own
one on one top it Michigan moms are wired different.
I mean, I mean, yeah, it's just she got in there.
Speaker 1 (46:24):
Yeah, sometimes she got to.
Speaker 4 (46:26):
Did you know what?
Speaker 3 (46:26):
The fact that we even care this much, I think
means that we're on a good track.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
Just take a should be too hard on our hand.
Speaker 2 (46:33):
Well, everyone go get just because because because because we
all need it, Okay, And
Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
All right, so I gotta say this is gonna well,
this is going to be a very memorable podcast. I
feel nervous. This is huge.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Can I say? I mean, this is huge. I saw
it come through on my email and I thought, way
to go, Kramer.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
What was the text that you sent again? I said, alright, alright, all.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Right exactly because we're having Matthew McConaughey come on wine
Down today. I thought I was Actually I thought we're
getting punked.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
I did too. I thought it was Mike.
Speaker 5 (00:43):
I did.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
I was like to get there and I'm gonna actually
put on makeup, and then I'm be like, oh, because
I knew.
Speaker 5 (00:51):
I did.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
That's funny.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
I'm excited.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Though I'm excited. I'm nervous too. I'm not a natural interviewer,
and I'm nervous.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
I would say that I am.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
I would say this is the I can't think of
a bigger celebrity I've ever met ever, and I do.
I think the thing is too, is that we've all
kind of grown up with Matthew. Yeah, so it feels
like we've all had this like long relationship with him
and then you you know, to sit in a room
in a way with him and be able to ask.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
He's had a million interviews. Have you ever met him?
I have not.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
I remember I was with Jana when she met him,
and I just stood back and just like I think
my mouth was wide open while she was talking to him.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Well, we share the same publicist, oh and so, and
I've never asked my publicist and she has I mean
big people obviously, like I'm just like her. I sometimes
I feel like i'm her. You know what's the when
you have a lawyer and they just do it for
pro bono, pro bono, like I feel, I feel like
her pro bono clients.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
But no, I mean she.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Gives me pro bono, you know, the lower but it's
definitely not at all. But I mean she definitely gives
me a little you know the first time because I've
had her Jesus for forever I've ever had anything, and
it's been I've been using her for years, so you know,
she gives me sometimes a little bit of a discount.
(02:19):
So again feel very pro bono. When she's got the
Jada Pinketts and the Matthew mcconaugheys, and I mean just yeah,
that's many people and so, but she's.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Not picking up people like me. So let's put that
in perspective. Do you know what I'm saying, like you
should just to put your put your perspective back that
one doesn't love you. But what I'm saying like like
she's she has real actors and actresses and you're a
real actress.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
Well, and she.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Working with you. We're always like if you want to.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
And she was like stop, She's like like yes, of course.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
But we saw what was it is? It was it
an ac ana was oh no.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
No, that a CC awards or something they had for
a little while. I don't even if they have it anymore.
It was not a CM or CMA.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
It was on Fox.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
It was a different one.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
It was some country. It was Country award.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
And I said, Nicole, I've never asked you for one picture. Never,
not one picture, not one I have asked her Back
in the day, I was like, do you know this
person like in the dating era.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
Because I was like, like publicis like they hooked, they had.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Each other up, like that's how I met you know, whatever,
and so whatever whatever, and so I said, you know,
I've never asked you for a picture of Anyboddy. I
was like, but I I, it's Matthew McConaughey, like please,
And he was lovely.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Oh he was so sweet.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
I just feel like he's always that way. But you
know what the problem is, though, that was before the cloud.
I don't know where that photo is. No, is it printed?
It might be fasted it somewhere, and I had to
have been, but there doesn't. It's like not in my cloud.
Well that's depressing, I know, because it's.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
I look back.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
The only thing that is that are in my cloud
are probably from when I had Jolie same.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
I don't have anything free love.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Maybe I have it. I have a lot of photos.
I'll go back and look. I feel like I'm a hundred.
The cloud confuses me, but also like where did it go?
Where did all those photos go? Like are they on
some drive that you know, like an extern? Well?
Speaker 4 (04:23):
Yeah, so I'm like, where did those photos go? As
ZIP drive?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
I don't even I don't even have proof of my
Matthew photo. I remember it, oh, I remember it. I
remember the dress, I remember the cheese of my smile.
I remember unfortunately quoting how to Lose Guy in ten days,
like our love for and you let it die Like
he's never fucking heard that before.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
So I remember being like, God, I wish I could ask,
but I can't ask. So I'm just gonna watch Jana
love him.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
But she did ask the other to day. I guess
I never ask you never did.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
I don't, but I did for I mean, I have,
I have it.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
I just feel like you don't who for who?
Speaker 1 (05:02):
I feel like maybe one tree hill or something at
some point.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
Oh yeah, that tracks.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
I mean, I don't know. In there, you just knew.
You're like, hey, Catherine, why don't you get in this photo?
Speaker 4 (05:13):
Oh that's right, I did.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Yeah, that's probably what it was. So I didn't have
to ask me. But Lance, we were just like sitting
there having a conversation with him, and then I was
like I usually do this, but I feel like now
is like the time I need the picture with Lance.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
You know what's funny is like I don't ask for
pictures anymore because I just I think once you get
to a place, right, then it becomes weird, like we
can't be friends if I take a picture with you.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
So I think you think that, but it's not weird.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Really, I don't think it was weird when you asked
to Panga.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
To Panga, I was gonna say to Panga and then
I was gonna yeah, Dan Danielle. But I feel like
she loved you just as much and was just as excited.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Yes, And I think it also put me in the
fan zone. That's what I'm saying. We're ever going to
be friends, you know what I mean. That's because I
think her as a fan, so I think that piece
is I.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Don't necessarily in that instance because what every celebrity forty
year old grew up watching that show. I guarantee you
more celebrities have done that, like guarantee it, I guarantee it.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
I just I feel the way you feel once I've
like documented our first time meeting. I'm a fan. You
can't under you have a photo with Lance Yell are friends.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
But as a fan, I think like he's so sweet
to me, and he's always been so sweet to me,
But I don't think he would be like when he's
a Nashville, is gonna call me up like oh.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Yeah, I mean yes, No, Tapega's probably not calling you
when she comes to Nashville. I wish you was she
gonna call you anyway, no, and you have a photo,
so done right?
Speaker 4 (06:50):
Well sure.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
I also think there's a difference between you taking a
picture from me and me taking a selfie with a person,
Like selfies are like friend zone, Like I'm not taking
a self with Jess when I met her with who
jessicas Jess, just Jess.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Or you have someone else. That's what usually needs to happen,
like like we force it, like hey, Jana, like come on, Jana, Tapanga,
get over here and take a photo instead of that,
that's better exactly. That's what she tried to do in
those instances if there's somebody, but like that whole situation,
she was like Tapanga.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Oh, I straight up fangirl. And then we were in
the on the way home from Vegas in the what
was that called it a shuttle? Yeah, the Boy Meets
World cast was in there, so you know rider who
I just had Like.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
That's not his? Is that? Wait? Is that that his
real name? That's really yeah?
Speaker 2 (07:43):
But like and then the older brother was in there,
but he's talking like I have no idea who he is.
And then the whole time I'm like, I know exactly
who you are because I've watched you every Friday. He's like,
I mean, you might not even know who I am.
I was like, no, I actually know exactly who you are.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
I think he was trying to make a point. No
he was, Yeah, I think he definitely.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
But he was sweet.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
He probably wanted ton't probably needs to feel a little
like you know who he is.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Well, his point too is that he doesn't know.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
He goes, you are, I.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Don't know who you are?
Speaker 4 (08:10):
He goes, do you have a podcast?
Speaker 5 (08:12):
Here?
Speaker 1 (08:12):
I go, don't we?
Speaker 2 (08:13):
All right?
Speaker 4 (08:14):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Which it was endearing though. It was sweet.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
Yeah, so Vegas overall was good.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Yeah, it was great, good, and he wasn't cute cute, cute,
thank you that little bump and then the shoes you
wear pregnant really shots off though, because I wouldn't even
attempt to squeeze the sausages into those shoes.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
So she usually pregnant all the things like I'm like,
my feet are killing me, and she's just like everything
is fine this time? Could oh good, you're him not
long and she was like, I cannot walk like she
It was those were tough.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
She was very mad at her stylist. I could not walk.
My feet were killing me. So I took them off good.
And then everyone was staring at me, and I was like,
I don't care. I get a free pass.
Speaker 4 (08:59):
Yeah yeah. And then your cat took her shoes off with.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
And then everyone does. And then I had Walmart feed.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Oh it's drinking you guys. Shoes off in public places
are hard for me. I go to a crunchy school.
Kids don't wear Matthew's here.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
We're going to take a breath and a break and
we'll be right back.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
My goodness, good morning, Matthew McConaughey.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
It's McConaughey day. How are you.
Speaker 5 (09:42):
It was this living room I was hanging out. Look
like you're in the place to be.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
I mean, where are you at, buddy.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
We have an extra chair for you over there, right
over there.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
We'll just copy paste you, put you in there, we'll
shift you around.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Thank you so much for coming on wine down.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
We just greatly appreciate the time that you're about to
spend with us, So thank you.
Speaker 5 (10:05):
Well, thanks for having me. I'm looking forward to it.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
It's a huge day because we're here just because.
Speaker 5 (10:11):
Really sometimes that's reason enough.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Yeah, just because of your new kids book, and you're
a New York Times best selling author uga In Matthew McConaughey,
how's it feel?
Speaker 5 (10:23):
How about that?
Speaker 4 (10:24):
No big deal?
Speaker 5 (10:26):
Right, yeah, that's very very cool. You know, when I
when I wrote green Lights, now, all I've ever really
done is films. I didn't know what sort of the
measurement was, like what are we calling? What are we
hoping for? What are we shooting for? And someone to
tell me, oh, you want to hope you get on
the top ten. It's like, okay, it's go over top ten,
and then all sudden come out number one. I'm like, okay,
And then we've put out the children's book. I had
(10:48):
no idea it hopes, but all of a sudden tell me, hey,
New York Times are one best hell And I'm like, great.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
And let us toot your horn for you too, because
green Lights.
Speaker 4 (10:57):
I have a very really really respect that book a lot.
And we'll talk about that later.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
But Green Lights stayed on the New York Times Best
selling list for like at least one hundred and ten
weeks or something crazy.
Speaker 5 (11:11):
I think we're right at one hundred a little over
one hundred weeks now, which is to think about. I'm
told that's not normal. To understand it's not. And I
I got to say, it's been really enjoyable asking people
that come up to me and go because a lot
of people that read Green Lights don't come up, Hey,
really enjoyed the book, appreciate it. They like grab me
(11:33):
and make look in the eye and go, hey that book, yeah,
thank you, and it did this for me or that,
and that is I mean rewarding in a different way
than even successful movies I've done, because that was the
closest extension of me. The book was of any art
I've ever put out. You know.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Besides, we're so honest, you know, I mean the you know,
when you're open and you're starting to read it, you're like, wow,
you went straight with stuff with your mom and it
was just like okay, Like I mean, you took us
on the ride with that book, and it was I
loved how vulnerable you got in that book because you
humanized yourself. But you also, I mean, you're you're still
(12:14):
you know, Matthew McConaughey, and you have obviously the name
and all the things to your to your resume, but
like again, people look at you and it's like I
want to be like, hey, so how did you really
work through that with your mom and the forgiveness and
all those pieces, And it's just people can relate to
you because of that book, really truly.
Speaker 5 (12:31):
I mean I've been yeah, I've been told that. I
think I think you know. Some people obviously, I think
picked it up. Maybe they were a fan of me
and my celebrity. Some people didn't get it because they
were not a fan of me and my celebrity. But
I think anyone who looked at it, I've been told, said, oh,
we were past the celebrity part. On page ten, we
were like WHOA. At the same time, I think the
(12:53):
fact that you know was a celebrity that they looked
at and they're like, oh, I can relate than I
thought I could relate to you, And you're relating to
me more than I thought you could relate to me
talking about the human experience. So that's been a really
fun part of the ride with that book. And anyway,
now I got just because, which is really another enjoyable
(13:14):
conversation that is different with everybody I'm talking to. But
I've been having just as much conversation, more conversations I
think with adults about it than I even have with
children about it.
Speaker 4 (13:24):
Well, yeah, in the book too.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
I mean you talk about the kid's book, it's you
talk about forgiveness and that as well. And so I'm curious, like,
what is your overall view on forgiveness?
Speaker 5 (13:35):
Oh, that's a fun question. Yeah, you know the couplet
And just because of the young boy on the skateboard,
it said, just because I let go doesn't mean that
I stopped climbing. That was about forgiveness. And you know,
I mean everything we do, it seems to be in
life is between letting go and hanging on. It's either
(13:57):
between it or on the other side of it, right,
And when do you do this? I talk about it
in green lights? I talk about it to yellow light
What we have a choice? You know? Do I persist?
Do I hang on? Do I keep trying? Is this
about endurance, resilience, fortitude? Or do you go? You know what? No,
I'm letting go. And the world tells us a lot
of times, I think, probably especially males, if you let go,
(14:21):
it's weak. If you if you are vulnerable, if that
would be called vulnerable. If you forgive, that may be
a weakness. I remember I grew up, you never really
heard I've been around a lot of males that had
trouble saying two words, I'm sorry. I've to admitted I
even have trouble.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
I married one. Actually I'm the incident. Yeah, we're working
on it now.
Speaker 5 (14:44):
I'm working on it too.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
We all are.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
I actually have hard time saying it myself.
Speaker 5 (14:48):
And it's and how much how much I think a
lot of times have the hardest time saying it too,
is ourselves. I'm the last one to forgive me, and
it's kind of arrogant of us. Actually, I think, you know,
to be like, oh, I'm so, I'm so right about
being judging jury about what I should forgive myself about. No,
(15:10):
I'm not forgiven. It's kind of area. It's kind of arrogant.
But forgiveness is a way of climbing, and it is
a way, and it frees up the forgiver even if
the person on the other side has done you wrong.
I mean that couple. It also ties into I may
forgive you, but that doesn't mean I still trust. That's
a form of forgiveness, you know what, forgive you, right,
(15:32):
but it doesn't mean I trust you anymore, especially if
you're a repeat offender and you've been doing me wrong
or fibbing to me over and over and over. I
mean want shame on you to I shame on me,
But I can forgive you because that frees the forgiver.
That frees the one doing the forgiving, regardless of what
the other one's doing or not doing, you know what
I mean. So it is a way of climbing in life,
(15:53):
evolving in life.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
So I have a question for you, because I would say, naturally,
just as a forty two year old female in the
United States, I've always been a Matthew McConaughey fan because
that's just kind of like what we do. We just
love you, We think you're great. You're in all of
our favorite movies. But it's interesting to me because one
of the things as I did a deeper dive and
started to respect you as like a family man, a husband,
(16:17):
you know, a dad, is that it feels to me
like you've always been this very introspective human. Like you're
a very dapper human, but you're also a very introspective human,
which is one of the reasons I've always kind of
gravitated towards you. So have you always been introspective Matthew like,
you know, as I'm reading Green Lights and I'm reading
you building the Treehouse, which the cover of just because
(16:41):
is not lost on me at all. But as I'm
reading that, and I'm thinking, like, you always have seemed
to have this tie to your innertuition or like a
general discernment, even when you seemed care free, it felt
to me like you've just always been a deeper person.
So do you think, Matthew that so Treehouse Matthew and
(17:02):
fifty three year old husband father, Matthew has always been
the same in a sense, or has he evolved into
someone that you're just immensely proud of, like the world
is proud of you.
Speaker 5 (17:15):
I mean, essentially the same. You know. That's one of
the things I learned when I wrote green Lights, which
is based on the fifty first fifty years of my life. Oh,
I remember a lot more than I thought I forgot.
Oh I'm essentially much closer to the same young person
that I thought I was not anymore. We learned it
when we become parents. Oh, nature a lot more powerful
(17:39):
than the nurture is very powerful, but nature has a
lot more to do with it than I thought when
I had children. DNA they are who they are. I mean,
i've I was. I think I was always introspective. And
whether it's whether it's preparation, I mean, I think the
(18:00):
introspection that I like to prepare and think about and
take context and observe and decide and think about it
this way or that way or this way in life
allows me to then come across or be Oh, he's lazy, fair,
he's relaxed. He kind of rolled out of bed and
kind of just did it, you know, he kind of
(18:20):
just I don't know, he's just winging it. But the introspection,
I think allows me to feel like and I like
to feel like I'm winging it. I like to be
unscripted in life, but it comes with a lot of context.
I mean, I like to, as I write in green lace,
create my weather so I can't blow in the breeds.
But I'm working on the weather and I'm looking at
(18:42):
the forecast. You know, what's ahead of me and choices
and what are going to be the consequences of choices
and what really matters here And try to understand the
other side of who I'm dealing with, What will be
the consequences for you if I do something this way
or that way, and so yeah, I think the introspection
is part of like daily preparing daily for life, and
(19:06):
you know it is you get it going. You got
a system going in this role and you don't have
to think of it. You don't want to think about it.
Everyone's catching green light kind of in a groove. We're
in a flow. Things are happening. I got in the
shortest line of supermarket again, you know what I mean.
That lasts, That lasts for a little while when you're
in it, you think that's it. Oh, I found it,
tadah No.
Speaker 6 (19:26):
So a bogue'll call either you'll create it or the
world or create it right, or a child to get
sick or something, and it throws a wrench in the
whole thing, and then you just I mean, I think
I've I think I've always.
Speaker 5 (19:37):
Had a pretty clear moral moral bottom line of who
who I am. I haven't always lived up to it,
I've i've, you know, but but I think I've had
a clear when when I when I was when I
was off track, I think I could recognize it and go,
that's that that that behavior is not going to last.
It's not going to bring you many residuals on af
(20:00):
you keep that up. That's what I talk about in Greenlights.
There's certain things I've done, like that this is a stop,
this is not a stay. You're renting this and go ahead, okay,
but know that this is not it's not you can't sustain.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
This, you know, in just because though the book obviously
is a lot about lessons, and as we're all obviously moms,
what's something that a what is it kind of twofold?
What is one of the biggest lessons that you've learned
that has kind of shaped who you are? And then
what's a lesson that you wish that your parents would
have helped you with or taught you when you were younger?
Speaker 5 (20:43):
Yeah, what's a lesson I've learned? Let me answer maybe
the second one first, when they would have wish they
would have taught me? You know, we this something I
learned later in life. And it's a double edged sword
because it's almost like so many times in life, our
(21:05):
greatest strength can be our greatest weakness, especially if we
exaggerate that strength. Right my, my, my parents, we were
so resilient. It was so get up, dust yourself off,
come on, get up, do it. Again. You want you
want to quick quick righting about your shoes. I'm gonna
(21:26):
introduce you to give with no feats. Whoa you were
just like onto the baseline necessities. The thing is, if
you brush yourself off so quickly every single time you
step in doo doo, you're a repeat offender. You keep
stepping in the same pilot every time around the bend,
right because you never really stopped to go. Hang on
(21:47):
a second before I dust myself off, let me have
a look back over here. Oh there it is. I know,
I see where it is. I understand why I keep
stepping in it. So next time around the bend in
life we can go. I know this is where it's
coming up. I'm going to dodge it this time. So,
my that was one of my great resilience is one
of my greatest strains. I would even say preparations one
(22:10):
of my greatest strains. But when I over exaggerate those,
I can be a repeat offender and just have great
resilience and endurance. But boy, I get up. I keep
dusting myself off instead of maybe learning. If I prepare, prepare, prepare.
I love to prepare. Well, sometimes I can prepare myself,
I'm going to go, and like, well, I prepared myself
(22:32):
right through doing it, you know what I mean. So
it's knowing when to Some of those are two of
my greatest strains, I think, but also two things that
I have to watch exaggerating so they don't become a weakness.
And the first side of that question, what was it?
What is one of the things maybe I learned from
them that from.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
My parents, well you wish you what have I think
you kind of answered that though too, see.
Speaker 5 (22:56):
I would have had that. I kind of I learned
that later on, like in my thirties. I realized that,
and I didn't go, oh, damn it, Mom, damn it, Dad,
why didn't you teach me that? I just noticed, Oh,
we never really keep I keep doing this. And because
my mom is that she's she is really an example
(23:19):
of the value of denial if you truly commit to it.
Speaker 4 (23:25):
I resonate with.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
That our therapy session last week with our therapists around
the same thing and then having to just go, okay,
but you know, they don't they didn't do the therapy,
and that they don't know the boundaries. And now I'm
feeling like I'm the adult and it's like, wait a minute,
I'm just like, but they're also my moms, you know,
our moms. We're trying to figure out how to go
on with with having all these things that you wish
(23:48):
that they would do.
Speaker 5 (23:50):
But shouldn't we just give them some amnesty though, especially
that then that age, it's like, because we learned it,
I try to change my mom. I talk about it
in Greenlights. For eight years, her and I had a
strained relationship where I could not have more than a
conversation of how mom doing good? Love you by anything
she asked me. I couldn't tell her personally because she
didn't have a governor. She could go to the she'd
(24:13):
go to the press. She showed up on our copy
taking people through my childhood rooms in and this is
where he lost his virginity. And I'm like, mom, She's like, oh,
I didn't think anybody would know. I didn't think he
maybe watching. He was like, no, it's just eight years
where I could not talk to her. I tried to
change her. I need she's a mom right now, not
a fan, and.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
I didn't have You know, isn't that we're kind of
like the forgiveness But I don't trust you. Part that
comes in that is, I mean, that's I think what
we've had. I've had to do with my own mother,
who had those situations with I think you get to
a point where you can forgive them, but you can't
trust them and they may not be a mother figure to.
Speaker 5 (24:52):
You or and I think we have to just go
my my hunch when I was wanted to, when I
but I tried to pull off. I kept trying to go, well,
I'm going to give you more information to see if
I can trust you with it again, and it's like
we're trying to prove that point. Just don't give it
to them, don't give them that much, and just go
that's where our relationship is, and let's let's make it
(25:14):
healthy and fun with what we can both handle. And
do you say, oh, but it's a shallow relationship. Now,
let's not, I say shallow. There's a lot of people
that I friends and relationships I have in my life
that I think are better because they are at arms length.
We don't need full, close up, all detail, all access
intimacy with everybody in our life. It's overload. There's some
(25:37):
people I like running into a couple of times a year.
That's where we're best.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Yeah, I've learned that too. Not everyone gets an all access.
I'd get I'd get everybody a VIP all access tell
you everything. And now I've like, you know, almost forty
I'm like, oh, that list has gone down to just
maybe one hand now of you know, the access port,
because you realize really it's just yeah, I'm in a
season of relationship within capacity and that's just how I
(26:05):
keep it.
Speaker 4 (26:05):
My mom is in that list.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Yeah, yeah, and I think that's okay. We've had that
conversation several times about our moms and you know, how
do you get to that point of just being okay
with that being at a place I think I've been
there longer than y'all have or you know, I don't know,
but it's kind of you get to that place where like,
that's okay, this is what the relationship looks like, and
I'm okay with that.
Speaker 4 (26:26):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 6 (26:27):
I think that.
Speaker 5 (26:28):
I think that's the place to get to because it's
it's amnesty for them and us.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
That's what I was going to say.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
It's more relieving for me at that point, honestly, just
to go, I know what I'm dealing with and it
is what it is. And I think we sometimes in
our age groups will say, like, for us, it feels
like we've like failed or we've there's an acceptance that
feels like it comes with some sort of guilt or
like failure. But that's not it. It's just like we
can observe. And that's what I've always Actually, one of
(26:56):
the few words I would use top few words to
describe you from my seat is just a girl in
America is you're a very observant human. And that to
me has never come across like you know, lazier unprepared
to me, it's just always like he's taking it in.
It's intentional behavior. And I think your wife just recently
spoke out about that too, that everyone's got this idea
(27:18):
of who Matthew McConaughey is. And she's like, listen, you
don't know what is stunning by the way she is.
She's a beautiful human. She's teaching me how to make
you know coleslaw without.
Speaker 4 (27:30):
Mayo online, and I'm like, I.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Love this chick.
Speaker 4 (27:35):
She's awesome. Do you feel like that is?
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Is it been interesting to just watch her say what
she knows to be true and to talk about the relate.
Even she talks about the relationship with your mom.
Speaker 5 (27:46):
Yeah, well I'm you know, we also I would say
this my family and part of the I think Camilla
and I as well, we shares the value of sense
of humor in comedy. I mean, the stuff she said
about my mom and my mom calling her different name,
(28:07):
that right, it passes that and issue. Some people are like,
oh my gosh, no, this was this is good And
Camilla's wasn't wounded about it either. It was just it
was just it's funny. It's for some people, you know.
I mean, look, we say this all the time in
my family, and what tickles us may bruce others, you know,
but but we but it's that's just too And the
(28:29):
people go to, you know, were you mad at your
Mom's like, no, that's again, I'm not changing her. That's mom.
She was looking out for her youngest. She didn't know
my feelings, but she tested my feelings and tested the
woman that I had the feelings for. That's kind oft
in the big picture, he got it's pretty cool actually,
and the woman that I was in love with went
right through it. And when she went through it, and
(28:51):
stood up and said, hey, miss McConaughey, let me tell
you something. My mom went there weak and you know, So,
I mean it's we you know, we're pretty honest. We're
awesome about who we are we as you were talking
about filters, not that we're not an open book. I mean,
(29:13):
I I We've been doing this long enough to know
I can tell when the thought comes to my mind
it's about to come out of my mouth. Oh if
I say that, that's going to be a headline. Ooh
if I say there. You know, certain things in the
Book of Greenlights, there are certain things to be like
why didn't you explain in the opening some of these
incidents like no, no, no, no, because that would have
been the headline and that's not what the book was about.
Speaker 4 (29:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (29:33):
So, I mean, but I try to we try to
not make it as hard. You know, when you first
when you're first starting, and I know when I first
got famous and at Mike's in front of my face,
I was given I had two years of giving the
most boring interviews in the world because I had stock answers,
because I didn't want to be fresh and off the cuff.
(29:55):
And that's a great question. And then be frank and
be honest. No, I was just given these stock answers
and they were okay, but damn they were boring. And
you do it for a while, you get to go.
You kind of know what you what's worth sharing, Know
that yes I'm talking to the three of you, but
yes this is being recorded, and yes we'll be broadcast.
Unlike what my mother said when she had CBS or
(30:15):
the hard copy in the house. He goes, I thought
it was just me and the cameraman. Yeah, that camera,
that tool. I mean, bring you and a whole lot
more people.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Right well in just because what do you like? What's
the overall message that you want kids to to have
when you know, when when they're done reading it, and
(30:46):
when the mom or dad is.
Speaker 5 (30:48):
Hey to Life's life's about, life's poetry, life's in you
into life's context. What may you may feel one way
today and you may feel different way tomorrow about the
same situation. Instead of that being like, oh my gosh,
there's something wrong with me. No, that's okay. We are
all walking contradictions, consistently contradictions that two things can be
(31:14):
true at the same time, that I can I can
wake up and be in a great mood and send
you a text and I forgot to put the wink
emoji on it. But you had a bad morning because
your dog's sick, and you received that text and it
sounds like I'm coming at you. Oh, you know, I
(31:35):
don't know where you are. You don't know where I am,
but hey, can I take the time to go? Oh?
You didn't receive that in the same way that I
gave that. Oh, okay, because I just thought it was obvious. No,
it's not always obvious. So checking in where someone else is,
you know how many times a year kids and adults.
I know I do it myself and I'm excited and
(31:56):
I'm really nervous. Well, when you're young, you're like, is
that okay to feel those two things at the same time.
I think I need to feel I'm supposed to feel
one of the other. Right, No, I just need to
be excited. No, you're excited, but you can be nervous
at the same time. That's how it works, Just to
know that's okay. As children are growing and finding out
(32:17):
their own identity, trying to figure out who I am,
who they are, and it swings all over and it
goes here and then it goes over here to go
that's okay, instead of getting so frustrated or confused. That's
what I hope children get out of it, and I
hope the adults, those adults are reminded of that. Because
there's a proper leniency that we can better have with
each other and ourselves. There's also spots where we have
(32:40):
to say the buck stops here, and I'm not putting
up with it anymore, you know, But we can be
more properly lenient with ourselves than others, and I think
understand and still make a choice about what we want
to do. Make a judgment, be discerning, but here are
both sides of the story. I understand both sides of
the situation before we do.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Dude, I think I'm still trying to and that that almost.
Speaker 5 (33:01):
For we all are, right.
Speaker 3 (33:03):
Yeah, The part in just because it says even though
I am still doesn't mean that I'm not busy was
something that really hit me in this. I'm in a
very observant season right now, just a lot of grief
and then working through that. You know, you learn so
much through grief, and you learn what's important and you
learn what's noise and what's valuable information. And so I
(33:25):
love books like this to sit with my little ones
and be able to like read it, but at the
same time just be reminded of like all of the
holding of both and like that's a big thing on
this on the show all the time.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
I have an and tattoo on my thing from therapy
and going through divorce. It's like I'm allowed to be
broken and hopeful at the same time.
Speaker 4 (33:46):
Yeah, you know, still and busy or yes.
Speaker 5 (33:50):
And is the paradox, which I think is where the
truth of living is. It's you know a lot of
people go that don't bring that word up into mighty
big word. It's a cool word, I mean. And actually
I think when we admit just admitting how we're contradictions,
then if contracts become something really valuable, which is the paradox,
which is both are true, two things can be true
(34:11):
at the same time. Comes from my favorite Bible verse
in the Bible, Matthew six twenty two. If they iv single,
the whole body will be full of light. That's all
about judgment, that's all about this perceived duality. We see.
If two things are posing, so they must floodhead. And
if they meld if they come together. Oh that's compromised.
(34:33):
Well no, maybe it's not compromise. Maybe it's actually just
a whole lot more truth.
Speaker 3 (34:38):
And I witness when we do that and have the
vulnerability to say, like, listen, I'm not nailing it or
I'm holding both of these things at once. It's so
interesting because it's almost impossible for people to live in
a fence with you when you have that kind of
maturity or that kind of acceptance of just what things
are what they are in this moment. Do you find
that that's true.
Speaker 5 (34:57):
Old fence live it. Yes, Yes, it's true. Yeah, it is.
It's it's that that's the opening couplet. Just because they
threw the dart doesn't mean that it's stuck. It's like
when you're in that that head spirit frame, they can
I can throw the dart, but it can't stick unless
you let it right in that d space that thing
(35:19):
just thing involves you can't stick. I'm not going there.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
Yeah, and just because you threw it doesn't mean it's sticking.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
I know, we only have like one more minute with you,
but I know, Kat, we were because we were talking
about I'm like, you know, with my my youngest or
not my oldest, actually she's almost eight. But Mama was like, honey,
you want to talk to me or you can tell
me anything. And we were reading the breakdown, and.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
Well, yeah, and I was, you know, I saw that
you had talked about you and your wife. How you
so I have a preteen, a teenager and then a
younger one as well, so closer in ages with you.
But how you don't want or expect your children to
tell you everything, right, And I'm very intrigued by that
because you know, I grew up in a family where
we didn't talk about anything, so I've kind of gone
(36:06):
that opposite, like I want us to talk about everything.
So I'm very intrigued and kind of your reasoning behind that,
and you know how that works for you guys.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
And also I'm in the car with my daughter being
like I can see she sat out the window, and
I just want her to be so frickin' happy, because
you know, I feel maybe she's thinking about I don't know,
like she's got two houses or I don't know what
I make up that she's thinking. But I'm like, honey,
you know you can talk to me whenever you want
to talk to me and you can tell me everything.
And I'm like, and I just now I feel like
she almost shuts down more because I'm like down her.
Speaker 5 (36:32):
I know, I know, I know. It's and then and go.
In all relationships, there is value in plain hard to
get so interesting with kids, you know, Oh, make them
come chase you a little bit, you know what I mean.
But the the I want, I want him to have access,
(36:57):
and I want to keep access with them, and I
want to time to be a friend. And there's damn
sure time to be a parent, especially in the early years.
You know, they don't they needed as parents more than friends.
But that friend is is I'll share with you. But
I also want look at Treehouse on the cover that
in my childhood, that's where I had my secrets. That
(37:20):
was my place, notim. I wouldn't tell my parents. Maybe
a friend or two that show, but that's where I
wrote things down. That's why we have a diary or
a journal. It's not for us to see. And I
want to let my kids know I'm not opening your journal.
I'm not opening that's yours.
Speaker 4 (37:36):
Damn. I mean, I've opened to her journal. You're a
journal opener.
Speaker 5 (37:40):
I am. I don't know things, but there's some things.
I mean, in a realistic I don't want to. There's
things that my wife I don't want to. I don't know,
and leave mine eye do going to go through mine?
I'm not. I don't want to, and I want my
kids to get out. Look, it's kind of like a
want them to get We want our kids to get
(38:01):
up to some goodsif some good healthy misschief. We want
them to fall and skin their knee. Don't necessarily want
to fall and break their arm, but we want them
to send their knee, you know what I mean. I
don't want to insulate them so much. It's got that
metaphor for like we all had our kids climbing in
the tree, and it's like they're out there, they fell
(38:25):
from there, and that that's gonna hurt, and you kind
of look at where they fall on and it's grass,
it's st augustin. Well, that'll soften a little bit. And
then all of a sudden they get up to a
certain height. I fackt nervous right now because they'll get
nervous and they haven't fallen yet. Children are afraid of
heights until they fall. So you're like, I don't want
to be afraid of heights too early. But I do
want to say, hey, j in here, Mom needs to
(38:49):
talk to you. We got your friends. Come up. Yeah,
they're here right now. Just take your time, come on
down right and you're sitting there going oh, if they'd
have fallen from that, that could have been really really bad,
you know. So I wanted to get up to some mischief.
I want him to have some secrets that I want
to tell them. You know what, don't tell me that.
(39:10):
And that's also a version indirectly of playing hard to get.
That's actually sometimes when they will tell us.
Speaker 4 (39:16):
Thanks, that's really good tips right there. I'll like to
go home and I have to replay don't tell me.
I like that.
Speaker 3 (39:23):
Well, it's like how do you get a kid to
smile on a picture? You tell them don't smile?
Speaker 4 (39:26):
Don't you do it? Yeah? Well, Matthew, thank you.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
I have one rapid fire for you just because of
our our our, the age we are, Andy or Mary.
That's all I gotta know how to lose a guy
in ten day's our wedding planner?
Speaker 4 (39:41):
Oh, Andy or Mary?
Speaker 2 (39:44):
I need one. You have to just pick one. You
have to give it to me. Nope, there's no there's
don't give me the like, oh, I'm going to play
both sides, and it doesn't have.
Speaker 5 (39:53):
The actresses from the classic romantic comedies of all time.
We're class yeah, rom com of all time. It's a
gift that keeps on giving to me too. I mean
there's some people that come up on Valentine's Day, Mother's
Day throughout the year and they are like, they come
right up, they how's the fern?
Speaker 4 (40:15):
You let it die?
Speaker 2 (40:19):
Okay, all right, enough said, I love it. Well, Matthew,
thank you so much for coming on wine down. We
appreciate it so so so much.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
Thanks for letting it be excited and nervous.
Speaker 4 (40:27):
We love you.
Speaker 5 (40:29):
Talk to you next time.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
Okay, thanks bye.
Speaker 4 (40:33):
Okay, that guys, that was like great, Yeah, it.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
Was so good.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
He doesn't allow you to be nervous, by the way.
I wanted to just I'm like, I can't open a can.
Speaker 5 (40:44):
There we go.
Speaker 4 (40:44):
There.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
I'm glad you pulled that last question.
Speaker 3 (40:47):
I was.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
I was like, we got a wrap. I was scared
to go into it.
Speaker 4 (40:50):
Got you but this is such an important question.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
I know, but I was like, there's so many things
with it, but I think we covered it like in
a couple of minutes.
Speaker 4 (40:57):
It was great. Yeah, I love him. He's smart too.
Again with those words.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
The thing is is I wanted his advice on like everything.
I'm like, could you just sit with me and tell
me how to like be a person, Because essentially.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
I told my husband before I left the house this.
Maria said, he goes, well, what do you want to say?
And I said, really, I just want to say, give
me a commencement speed, Like yeah, I just I'm in
need of that.
Speaker 4 (41:19):
Like he's so wise.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
You want to drive in a car. I want to
drive in a Lincoln with him. Oh God, that'd be
so interesting.
Speaker 3 (41:26):
I read Green Lights the book, like actually I love books,
like to turn the pages like a literal book, you know,
instead of like a Kindle version or whatever. And then
I often will couple it with listening to the audio
so I don't have to miss a book. I can
keep doing it unfolding laundry or whatever. And when the
baby was really really little, I that Green Lights is
(41:46):
what kept me Like I mean, I was just flying,
I was just in. It was just so beautiful and
you're in this like very raw hormonal moment where everything
the world has opened up, and you've been in the
thin places. And then I tried to listen to the
audio book and I I couldn't get the Lincoln commercial
out of my head. And I think I got to
go back to just reading the pages as I read
it in a different voice than him.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
I would love to hear him reading.
Speaker 4 (42:09):
Well, most moms did enjoy.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
Say that's just going to do when I get done.
Speaker 3 (42:14):
My husband came to the lawndroom and he goes, is
that Matthew McConaughey, And is it?
Speaker 4 (42:17):
Indeed it is? Here's your Honday zo.
Speaker 3 (42:20):
Well, all right, all right, all right, what an icon
you guys iconic Matthew Khane. Y'all get his kid's book
just because I mean, I I truly want to read it.
Speaker 4 (42:30):
Oh yes, for me too.
Speaker 3 (42:32):
I think my copy lands today on my porch.
Speaker 4 (42:34):
Actually I got it, just amazoned it a couple of days.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
And I'm going to go buy journals for my kids
and say, hey, you write in your journal. You don't
have to tell me.
Speaker 4 (42:42):
I know, I'm such a it's hard, but he's right.
I mean, there's so much true you.
Speaker 3 (42:47):
Guys, just think about I think about that a lot,
and I know that I know that we have all
walked a very honest with each other, whether we share
all the details on the podcast specifically or out of
just respect, we keep ourselves here. But I feel like
we all grew up in a way. There is some
there is some good old days to what we all experienced.
(43:07):
Like I mean, I was doing things I shouldn't be doing.
I was, you know it, partying in cornfields and bonfires,
and like, I want my kids to have those memories.
But then it's like the falling out of the tree
thing you talked about. I mean, I'm the girl that's
down there with like a safety net and a harness and.
Speaker 4 (43:24):
A caribbeane or going there too, you know. But that's
not well.
Speaker 1 (43:27):
I think it's hard in this day and age because
I'm not a helicopter parent. In that situation, I'm like,
let them go, let them run, let them do, let
them fall. But then with like like phones and all that,
I'm very much a helicopter parent and I cannot figure
out that like.
Speaker 4 (43:42):
That's smart though, yeah, I agree it.
Speaker 1 (43:44):
Is, But I think there also has to be a
little bit of a I don't have to say, well,
what's going on here? I get really bad about them,
like what's going on with this girl here? What's going
on with this there? And so I have to back
away and only really pay attention to the really important
in fall maybe in their friendships or maybe you know,
learn those lessons. And that's so hard for me.
Speaker 4 (44:05):
That's because you're a good mom.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
Yeah, but I also can step in a little too much.
Speaker 2 (44:10):
I think, because well, for me, I make up that
I'm doing that because I want to be a different
version of my parents, well saying of what my my
younger child needed. So I might be you talk to me,
they tell me, and I'm there for you.
Speaker 3 (44:25):
And so one thing I did do just recently is
I explained to love that there's kind of two friends
and two types of friends in the world. And they'll
be a type of friend that needs to tell somebody
it's in their DNA. The minute you tell them something,
they have to tell one other person. That's just who
they are. And there's people like that. And I said,
and there's other people that you can tell that are
a vault you know that you just need to say
something to you know, it's safe and they can keep
(44:46):
it in like a little house and it's not a secret.
It's just private information. And I said, I am a
vault friend and she said, wait, what do you mean.
So we were talking about it and I said, well,
I know stuff about like all my friends, you know,
and I don't want to tell anybody, and it's okay
because I'm safe to them. I was like, not being
a good friend, y'all. This chick opened up her vault
and started filling the cutest. She was like, I gotta
(45:10):
tell you. Emmy asked a boy to marry him and
he said yes, and it.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Was just precious.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
But I thought, like all of the time, I'm so like, well,
you can tell me anything. But I'm also like a
little hood too. I feel like she can tell I'll
get like angry or irritated with people, and I'm not
afraid to with the records true, you know, right, But
I think then she's like nervous about me in a
different way than I was nervous about my parents.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
It's we just have Me and Emmy just had this
conversation the other day because we're kind of talking about
like the hierarchy, hierarchy and friendships and I was like, okay,
so this one is this is the girl that rules
the roost. She's deciding who's friends with who this week.
Y'all are upset right now because you're not in with her.
But guess what, you're talking trash right now. You're gonna
want to be friends with her next week, you know.
And I'm gonna be mad when you asked me to
(45:53):
have her over next week because you're telling me everything
that she's She was like, okay, got it, So that's
where that's coming in. I'm like, you kind of can't
tell me all that because then Mama bears coming out
and I'm like, well, she ain't coming to my house.
I don't like her, you know, or whatever. So it's
just all so interesting, and that age starts, Oh yeah,
it's fun.
Speaker 3 (46:12):
I had to talk with Amma at school, my own
one on one top it Michigan moms are wired different.
I mean, I mean, yeah, it's just she got in there.
Speaker 1 (46:24):
Yeah, sometimes she got to.
Speaker 4 (46:26):
Did you know what?
Speaker 3 (46:26):
The fact that we even care this much, I think
means that we're on a good track.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
Just take a should be too hard on our hand.
Speaker 2 (46:33):
Well, everyone go get just because because because because we
all need it, Okay, And
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