November 14, 2024 • 36 mins
You’d think if you were on The Bachelor you’d have no problem finding love once the cameras are off, not the case. You need to hear Elizabeth’s story of reality love gone wrong. Can Amy & TJ help her find her way to I Do, Part 2?
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Hey, there're folks, welcome to I Do Part to, a
one of a kind experiment in love and podcasting, and
we are not here to help just any old body
fine love. Oh no, bro, We are here specifically for
certain folks, Yes, for folks.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Who didn't get love right the first time, or maybe
even the second or third time, just like us. We
are two of your hosts for I Do Part two.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
I'm aye Robots, I'm TJ. Holmes, along with our fellow
co hosts Jenna Kramer and Jenny Garth, as well as
our celebrity mentors, we are going to give guidance based
on all of our varying degrees of relationship experience.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Experience you say, well, for us, that means two divorces each.
So we are not here to sit on our pedestal
and point fingers. Now, we encourage all of our listeners
to call in right in with their stories we know
we're not alone, and their hopes for getting love right
the next time.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
And one of those folks we heard from is someone
that maybe some of our listeners are even familiar with.
But take a listen now to one other people who
called in and say they need help looking for love.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Hey, missus, Elizabeth Brown, And I was just listening to
the podcast and my friend had told me that I
should call in. So here I am. I'm forty four
and three and a half years of worse. Her parents
a beautiful six year old daughter together and they're the
(01:39):
Nashville So anyway, anyway you can help, any advice would
be well appreciated.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Thanks, so sweet, so sweet, Elizabeth Brown. If that doesn't
sound familiar, maybe remember her as Elizabeth kit Elizabeth Kit Brown.
But Elizabeth is joining us now on the podcast, And honestly,
we actually asked our producers, Elizabeth, whether or not you
actually just called in or if there was some sort
(02:08):
of a reach out to you, and know you genuinely
called the podcast asking for help. And folks might know
who you are because you were a contestant on The Bachelor,
Yes a long.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
Time ago, yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
And then season fourteen and then also so I know,
Bachelor in Paradise, but you were on a show that
predated that as well, correct, yeah, Pad, Bachelor season.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Okay, remind us what Bachelor PAD was about.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
So it was more of a game show where you
had a chance to win two hundred and fifty thousand dollars.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
So you were looking for money, not love on that one.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Yes, maybe a little bit of both win win win win. Yeah,
but you did end up getting married to someone who
also was in the franchise. He was on the Bachelorette,
So you ended up not on the actual shows, you
were on Finding Love, but in a way, because of
the show, you found love. So tell us a little
bit about what happened. We know you're divorced now, but
(03:13):
tell us about the romance and then what happened.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
Yeah, so, coming off the shows, Ty was in La
visiting and I met up with him and a bunch
of the other bachelor people watching football, and I took
Tim right away because he's tall and he's a country
country boy, and there's that media attraction right after the show.
(03:38):
But then we both got into your relationships and it
was at the end of my to your relationship, and
I changed my status on Facebook, and twelve minutes later
he slid into my DMS and said, I think we.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Need to talk. Tell minutes, Elizabeth, twelve minutes after you
changed your status. Twelve minutes after the status change, he
was just standing by hitting refresh refresh for two years.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Yeah, So it's pretty cool. And he was living in
LA or sorry, he was living in Nashville. I was
in LA and I was looking to leave LA at
that time. I'd been there five years and we just
decided I would move to Nashville. And it was a
pretty quick dating relationship until we got married. So it
was all really fast. But how fast I moved here?
(04:28):
And when we started talking in February, I moved here
in April right in with him.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
Yeah, I've never lived with the guy really before that.
And then we got engaged in October and married by
the following March.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Wait a minute, okay, help us here. And again, everybody
has their own journey, their own experience, but to meet
somebody or it's one thing to move in with somebody
after what'd you say February to April? But you moved
across the country. So what into that big of a
decision to not just move in with a guy, but
to uproot your life and move across the country for
a guy.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Yeah, you know, it wasn't the first time I'd moved
across the country. I was kind of kind of good.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
That's your thing, Okay.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
I was thirty three and he was thirty four, and
we were just kind of at that age where you know,
we just wanted to kind of go for it, and
you know, I really wanted, you know, a lot of kids,
and yeah, you're in your early thirties the time, the
clock's ticking.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
So I get that.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
There was a lot of thoughts.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
No judgment here. I had a I was engaged in
four months and married to ten months. It also ended
in divorce, so I understand how sometimes you can get
caught up and maybe not do the due diligence you
should have done to make sure you're actually compatible, make
sure he actually is the one. So I know it's
we both know it's so hard, especially when children are involved,
(05:57):
to make the decision to divorce. What happened if you,
if you don't mind us asking what happened in your
relationship where you all decided that was the next best step.
Speaker 4 (06:05):
Yeah, I mean we I think looking back, I needed
to do a lot of work on myself before getting
into a marriage. I'd always been the girl that was
in the long relationships, and I went from relationship to
relationships since high school, and I guess I never really
(06:26):
found myself in order to present myself well to a partner.
And so looking back back this last three and a
half years, I've done a lot of work and just
kind of being single and just being alone for the
first time, and there's been so much growth in that.
You know, I finally found, you know, really who I
am and uncomfortable in who I am, and you know,
(06:49):
I had to get to know, like what do I
even like to do? You know, like what do I like?
Because I would always you know, get into a relationship
and just become whatever that person wanted me to be.
You know, I was good at it. So yeah, really
being alone and sitting in that and discovering myself the
last three and a half years has been really kind
(07:10):
of cool. So I probably should have done that before.
You know, I feel like I gave it a good
go fresh seven years with him, and you know, we
we had some struggles with fertility, so we did the
whole IVF thing and got our miracle daughter and who
we both adore and we co parent very well together.
(07:30):
And yeah, I think now I'm kind of ready to
start dating. But it's a challenge, you know, it's it's
not just me that I have to think about bringing
someone else into you know, this little world that we have,
and and just finding time as a single mom and
(07:51):
just all the things.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
You know, Elizabeth kind I asked the work you said
you've done in the past three hundred years, and three
hundred years and a half years told you we were
it feels like years. The work you've done on yourself
since divorce. The person you are now and what you've
become now, is this Elizabeth better prepared to be in
(08:15):
that marriage that you were in. Can you be a
better part? Can you all potentially work now because of
where you are or that ship's just passed?
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Well?
Speaker 4 (08:23):
He has a girlfriend now and quite a while.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Okay, thanks DJ.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
Now I have thought about it, you know, right when
we got divorced, you know, could we get back together?
I just think that, you know, he probably wouldn't have
married me now because you know, I'm just so much
more grounded and who I am and what I want
and my boundaries and you know, my voice, and so yeah,
(08:52):
I just I don't know that it would work. And
we co parent really well, and I like his girlfriend
and I think they've got a great thing going.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
So yeah, yeah, and you know what, that's awesome because
that woman, if she hangs around is obviously in your
daughter's life and will be a part of your daughter's life,
and so that's always something to consider.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
It just ca.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Yeah, Well, I mean, look, we've been down this road.
I've been down that road. I've been on both sides
of it. I've I have my daughters, have a step mom.
I've been a stepmom, So I get it. It's it's
you're not just marrying or dating a person, you're dating
their their children too, and their family. It all matters,
and so that's a big part of the equation. Have
(09:34):
you dated in this three and a half years and
what has that experience been like post divorce.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
It's been wild because I've you know, I never really
been single this long, and I guess right after my
divorce I kind of put myself out there too soon,
and I went on a few dates and I'm like,
you know, I this is not the time. But it
was awesome. It's so really strange because for the first
(10:01):
time ever, really young guys would be the only people
that would hit on me, like really young, and I'm like,
I don't know about dating, you know, younger guys. I've
usually dated people my age, and so that was something
that that was interesting from the start.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Did you go on dates with those younger guys? Did
you say?
Speaker 4 (10:21):
Yes, I did? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (10:24):
And what was that like?
Speaker 4 (10:26):
They were fun? You know, they were like they well,
I feel like I'm kind of young at heart too,
and especially you know, I'm forty four, but I have
a six year old daughter, so I'm kind of more
in that, you know, younger age group with my mom
group and things. So but yeah, they I felt like
the younger guys really put in more of an effort
(10:48):
and they got really excited about the dates, whereas the
older guys or you know, guys my age or you know,
even older, they're just kind of like, yeah, you want
to go on a date? You know, They're just not
like I'm really excited.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
You know, Eliz, what is you say younger guys? What
age range are you talking about?
Speaker 4 (11:06):
Like ten years younger? Like early thirties?
Speaker 1 (11:10):
All right, You're not going out with twenty four year olds.
Speaker 4 (11:12):
No, But they would hit on me and I'm like, sir,
you are way too young for me.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Why you think that is? Why is it that younger
guys are coming after you?
Speaker 4 (11:22):
I don't know. It was kind of a joke there
for a while because anytime I'd go out with my friends,
you know, the only guys that would hit on me
were really young, and they would be like, how old
is that one? And I'm like, just way too young.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Some woman might say that's not a bad problem to
ask you, is that a compliment to have? It is
a compliment. I would absolutely think that was a compliment.
I mean, look, I snagged a younger guy. TJ's four
and a half years younger than me. I'm curious how
much younger would you feel comfortable with dating and maybe
eventually marrying, Like do you have a number going younger
(11:59):
and a number going older?
Speaker 4 (12:01):
Yeah? So, because I've put a lot of thought into that,
and there were some you know, younger guys that maybe
I wrote off a little too soon. But my my
criteria is I don't mind them being you know, ten
years younger probably at the most. But my thing is,
you know, they're thirty four, and you know, do they
(12:23):
want kids? Because I don't want to have any more kids.
You know, I'm forty four, so kind of past that.
I think if I were, you know, a decade older,
and they were a decade young, you know, younger at
the time, I don't think it would be that big
of a deal because the you know, the baby years
are kind of you know, off the table, if that
makes sense.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Where are and how are you meeting folks to date
the past three and a half years?
Speaker 4 (12:58):
Oh jeez. Sometimes through the apps and sometimes out and about. Ideally,
I think I would like to meet someone you know
that is like a setup, you know, through a friend
or something, because it would feel more vetted or at work.
But now I work from home, so I don't like
go into an office every day where I'm meeting people
(13:20):
all the time. And I live on a little five
acre farm outside of Nashville, so I'm kind of isolated
a lot, so it's kind of harder. I feel invisible
a lot. It's like, how do I how do I
get out there and meet people?
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Don't put too much stock and go into the office
and meeting people. Office romances go really bad.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
You can actually end your career.
Speaker 5 (13:40):
Yeah, we're here, so we could have absolutely Is that
about a year ago?
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Do you have? You know, you said you don't want
any more kids of your own, which is understandable. You've
got your beautiful six year old daughter, But what about
dating or being with a man who also has his
own children.
Speaker 4 (14:05):
I would love that. I in fact, when I was,
you know, in my early thirties and not married, I
started thinking I'll probably be a stepmom, you know, because
I'm getting a little older, and I was excited about
that idea, you know, of being a stepmom. I think
the hardest thing, though, has been I've met guys that
are that have kids, but then it's trying to find time,
(14:26):
you know, like with parenting schedules and everything. It just
seems like if you're if you have opposite weekends, forget
about it. You know, you'll never see each other.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
What is the I guess how serious would things have
to get before you would allow somebody you're dating to
meet your daughter? Who's six? Right? So has anything gotten
that far? And what what would need to happen for
you to be comfortable with somebody meeting your daughter.
Speaker 4 (14:49):
Yeah, I've put a lot of thought into that too,
because I don't want, you know, her getting attached to
somebody and then and not working out or you know whatnot.
It would just have to be I don't know if
there's exactly a timeframe on it. I've heard like six
months is a general rule. But I think it would
have to be you know, I could really see this
(15:10):
person being in our lives, you know, And so anytime
I start talking to somebody, I think of that, I'm like, well,
how would they fit in what we have going on?
You know, my ex you know, Tyme's got a good
situation because she's got two boys that are around my
daughter's age, and you know, Blakely's already calling them her brothers,
(15:33):
which is cute, you know, So I love that for
her to have that sibling, you know, the siblings. So yeah,
if it happened for me, that'd be great.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
But it's really to you just said. That's cool to hear,
and it is so nice to see a mom supportive
of her daughter's experience in another family and just knowing
I used to always say this, but I think you're
in the same wave. Like, the more people who love
my girls, the better they're going to be. So would
I be jealous or territorial if it just means they're
(16:03):
being loved by more people, And that's I think how
you have to look at it, if you're looking out
for their best interests.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
Now, that's so true because I ran a half marathon
a couple weekends ago.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Gratulations, thank you, and.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
I didn't have anyone to watch my daughter, and his
girlfriend was available and she said, I'll take her for
the morning. So I got to drop her off, you know,
with his girlfriend, and they went and got their nails done,
and then afterwards I went to pick her up, and
me and the girlfriend talked for quite a while, you know,
just kind of hung out and talked, and it's really
(16:39):
cool to see that. And she was excited because she
doesn't usually get one on one time with my daughter,
so she's she thought it was really special that they
got their girl time because she's a she's a mom
of boys, you know, so she doesn't get to do
the nail stuff very often.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
What are your and again, that's wonderful to hear, given
we have to excuse me, four divorces between the two
of us, and you know, those family dynamics can be difficult,
and it's good to hear it's working as well as
it is. So so really, we just got to get
you hooked up here. So what are your absolutes for me?
It's smoking, Like if I hear somebody's a smoker, that
(17:17):
would be an absolute. I don't even want to go
out on the date. Do you do you have some
absolute non negotiables. I will not compromise and date a
guy who does blank blank blank blank blank. Do you
have any gosh you.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
Know, really, I just am looking for someone that's, you know,
very kind and somebody that loves kids. I guess probably
if they didn't love kids, that would be a big
deal breaker for me. So just like loving kids, being
family oriented, I also have to have the same sense
of humor, because I realized that in my marriage. I
(17:52):
was like, you don't get my jokes. My jokes are funny,
well high brow, but you know we're dark humor.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Yes, And I think one of the ways we connected
as friends was through humor one hundred percent, and that
had been something that I had an experience before. Someone
you can laugh with. And I love that you just
said that because I think we both I know, I
have learned that that for me is a huge component
of our relationship, is that we can laugh together and
(18:22):
laugh at the same types of things together. And yeah,
when you don't get each other's humor, that's tough. That's
a huge and I've had that, Like you're like, well,
this is just the you can't have fun the whole
point of right, we should be enjoying each other and
you kind of have to enjoy each other's sense of humor.
Speaker 4 (18:40):
Yes, And I never realized that was such a big
thing for me until you know. Yeah, and then when
somebody laughs at me, it's almost like my love language.
I'm like, oh, they get my jokes like they get me,
and so I love that.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
It's so funny what you just said. Because DJ laughs
at me, I laugh with him. But I'm okay with that.
I'm fine if I'm the source of the humor, not
something that I was choosing to be.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
But you're the fun I tell you this all the time.
You're one of the funniest people I know. When you're
not trying to be funny, just you being you, I
end up falling off.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Yeah, you're hilarious, you really really are.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
But what I try to crack a joke, it falls
flat every time. So now I just be me and
that apparently is funny.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
It works. Maybe we also had someone else, I think
a friend of yours, Rebecca right also who's a member
of Bache Nation, ended up calling in as well. Both
of them, and again we're telling folks. This they this
came out of the blue. We did not solicit So
you all just happened to both call in. We're going
to hear from Rebecca a little layer on I do
(19:42):
part two. But you have you have us. Now, look,
we have a lot of relationship experience between the two
of us, and so if you have access to us
and all of our vast experience and background, what would
you want to ask? What are some questions you have
for folks like us?
Speaker 4 (20:01):
Oh gosh, well, I love that you guys met in
your friends first. You know, I think ideally that that's
what I would love to have, But like I find
myself going on dates and kind of sabotaging them from
the start because I don't want it to go too fast.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
You know.
Speaker 4 (20:20):
I'm like, I just want to get to know each
other's friends. Can we just go do fun things in
Nashville and if you know we've all in love, we
fall in love. But like, I'm not going into it
trying to fall in love. I just you know, want
to I want to get to know people and hang
out and you know, see where it goes. But like,
how do I how do I say that on a
first date? Like, Sam, I met someone from the apps,
(20:42):
and I'm like.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
I would argue, you have a challenge. If you're on
a dating app and you set up a meeting with
the person of that dating app, they're going to think
they're on a date. Period. Yeah, so it's hard to
get someone out for a meal or whatever and you're
halfway through your surfing turf and that bottle of line
you say, oh, yeah, by the way, I just want
to be friends. That's not going to go over well,
I'm serious. It just it's difficult to set it up
(21:05):
that way, I would argue, and I will ask the
question as well, is there someone already in your life
who could end up being that mate? Because that for
eight years I didn't know this one sitting next to
me I would end up in a relationship with. It
never crossed my mind. So it's possible that person's already
in your life. I just think Robe, she's like, it's
(21:27):
a challenge to on a dating app get somebody to
then think, oh, we're just I just want to be friends,
and then see what happens.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
So I think, yes, saying that is off putting immediately,
and You're right, I do think that probably sabotages because
I mean if I heard that from someone who I
was excited about meeting or seeing, I would feel like,
womph wah. It would be like was it something I said?
Do you not like how I look? But you would
feel that immediately, so you're immediately going on the defense.
But I think that if you have it in your
(21:54):
mind and you know that you want a relationship that
is built from a friendship, I think I think you
don't have to announce it. You'll just feel it out.
If you have that friend vibe with somebody who you
also are attracted to, that's obviously what you're looking for, right,
So I don't think you have to say it. I
don't think you have to announce it. I think you
just know. I'll know it when I feel it. I'll
(22:15):
know it when I see it. We're laughing at the
same things. We both like to watch horror movies, whatever,
we both like to run half marathons. You start to
see that you've got similar interests and similar ways of reacting.
I always a similar mode of operation. I've noticed that
in looking at what's worked and what hasn't. If you
value the same things, you operate similarly. And you like
(22:39):
some of the same things. That is how friendships are built.
So if those components are there, there will be a
friendship in addition to the romance. But I think you
just have to look for it. If you announce it,
I think you're gonna turn people off for sure. And
that's happened because it kind of feels like a rejection
or like you're on a trial basis, and that doesn't
(23:02):
feel good, Like, oh, now you know, now I'm.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
The trial base is a good way to put it.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
And I think it would it would definitely make me
feel like I wasn't good enough or you know, I
think that might be you know, and not that women
don't have egos too, but I think the masculine ego
tends to be even slightly more fragile sometimes in those moments.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
And I asked, Elizabeth, is there anyone you can think
of in your life right now? You might not even
be thinking about them as a romantic partner, but do
you have some friend that's been around a long time?
And you'll kind of do you have anybody? And in mind,
you don't have to say who it is, but you
have anything like that, somebody who's been kind of just
hanging around for the past I don't know, eight years.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
I wish I could say. Yet, when I moved here
and moved right in with my ex, I kind of
we we got friends together, so I kind of moved
into his world. And so after the divorce, I've had
to find a whole new group of friends and they're
all mare you know, like my mom, they're all married.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
So not yet, no help, But that's what I would
think about that situation. But yeah, to a point, you
don't have to announce it. You'll just feel it and
it'll it'll flow, and if y'all want to get together
again next time, it might be for a baseball game,
or it might be for something more laid back and
not necessarily have the pressure and the romantic feel of
(24:18):
an actual date, and it'll just happen.
Speaker 5 (24:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
It's funny because I think so many women go into
these dates, especially someone who may be divorced looking for
a new partner, who's had the time to work on themselves,
and kind of almost feel like in a rush, like
I don't want to date you unless you're serious. It's
so so funny. You're saying the exact opposite, but both
of those things I think send people running.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
Do you have any thoughts on where I would go
to like meet single guys instead of going on the
apps to set that up?
Speaker 2 (24:58):
You know, luckily I've never had to do the app thing,
but I've only heard I mean, there are obviously success stories,
but it feels like it's so hard to determine what
people's motivations are on those apps. So I would So
you mentioned you just ran a half marathon. I don't
know if Nashville, but I'm assuming they have run clubs.
But I feel like, if you love running, or you
love hiking, or you love biking, whatever it is, join
(25:20):
the club in your area. Like we see this all
the time in New York. We have run clubs everywhere
and it's so cool. But this is like the new
non dating app, but a like person to person in
face meeting with folks who share the same passion, and
you could start running together and it just can develop.
There's no pressure then, because you weren't swiping left or right.
You're actually just doing something you love and they are too.
(25:41):
So that would be a suggestion of mine to join
a run club. I know you've got a young daughter,
but if you can fit it in once or twice
a week, you might meet some really cool, awesome people
who share your interests.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Yeah, and usually the runners are in pretty good shape.
That's just an added bonus. But your frame graun, I
know you talk about the other I mean they're all
coupled up. But in that group, anytime there's a chance
to get to little folks, you me, we invite it
to so many little I don't know, a movie premieres
(26:12):
or a little book signings, or anytime you can get
into a situation where there's not pressure, whereas just a
group of folks hanging out. And if it's a say yes,
if a friend wants to drag you to a church
pot luck, say yes, if a friend wants to drag
it to whatever it may be. You just I think
you always have to get into a situation where there's
no pressure. When you've met these folks, there's no pressure
(26:33):
to sit down for a meal, no pressure to make
a connection, and it just happens naturally to get go
to a wedding, go to any social any of these
social gatherings where they're just people just wanted to have
a good time. And I think that's a way to
go say yes to everything.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (26:47):
I love that. Now you guys are both parents, so
what are your thoughts on the whole introducing someone to
your kid thing?
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Like?
Speaker 4 (26:54):
What what are your thoughts on those on that?
Speaker 2 (26:56):
Yeah, I mean I think it's obviously we all want
to pret our kids at all costs and I would
not and did not introduce my then young daughters until
it was somebody who I knew was going to be
in their lives for a long time. You can't ever
predict the future, obviously, and it's a case by case basis.
(27:17):
I wouldn't for me. I don't know that I would
give it a timeline. It'd be more if we are
in an exclusive relationship and we've decided to take that
next step not to see other people, then it's hard
to constantly and some people choose to do that and
I respect that too, But you know, I think once
you've made that commitment, that for me would be when
I'd be willing to start to introduce that person into
(27:40):
my children's life.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
I agree, and we or we just went through this again.
My daughter is eleven, but we let her guide how
she wanted to be introduced. We that was never a
time I had to put pressure on her and say
this is what's happening. It was more let her guide
when she got curious, or when I continue to talk
to her about it and say, hey, are you okay
if Robot comes to this or comes over to that,
And it's just become natural to the point now sometimes
(28:03):
my daughter doesn't even want to come over and hang
out or go do something unless, oh, is robot going
to be with us? Right? She asked for so we
got to this great place. But she one hundred percent
led the way on what she was comfortable with. And
win six years seven years old, like your daughter is.
Maybe she is getting to the point she can make
that call and she'll get curious. But it really helped
(28:25):
to kind of the child is old enough to let
them guide.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
Yeah, I love that. That's really good. Letting them gue.
What happens if they meet the person and they don't
really like them, like what do you do? Do you
stay in the relationship or what?
Speaker 2 (28:41):
And well, you know what, So, especially if they're older
kids like you could be in this position, right, so
you could be introduced to this guy's children who were
older and they may not like you. You know, it's and
I think I would just say, whoever the person is
who's not being liked by the children, that's kind of
a red flag because those children are never going away,
(29:03):
and you might want to spend some time trying to
convince them, but sometimes it just doesn't matter, and you
are setting yourself up, or that your potential partner is
setting themselves up for a lot of friction that is
almost impossible to undo. That's why, yes, take your time.
But if there is a bad experience and a bad
(29:24):
feeling and bad juju, that might be really hard to overcome,
and I think it might be I mean, the person
who is not liked might be the person who has
to say this isn't a comfortable situation for me to
be in, and nobody wins. So that's a really tough
one because I'm sure there are people who can and
children who can be convinced and persuaded, But sometimes you
(29:44):
have to ask yourself, can I be in a relationship
with somebody when I know every time their children are around,
I feel uncomfortable or they feel that I have found
that to be a very difficult situation.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Then you have to ask some questions about why the
kids might not like the other or the boyfriend or
the girlfriend, and the owners has to be on the
parents of that children to a great degree, like what
have they been saying? Why have they not guided this
process a little better? Because no kids should just they
might not like somebody because okay, my mom is being
replaced my other parents. They might feel that way, but
(30:20):
they shouldn't. And I know it's delicate, it's very difficult,
but to just hate somebody outright, you have to have
help from your partner to guide that situation. But to
Robot's point, it is so the relationships are hard already.
Blending families is hard already. On top of that, we
have to navigate your children not liking me. That is
difficult to almost impossible to do. So that's a really
(30:43):
really big deal.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Yes, no, it is that that is something to like
when you have children or when the other person that
has to be considered. Yes, yes, yes, very much. So.
Speaker 4 (30:57):
Well, being out on this farm and you know, working
from home, I don't have a lot of opportunities to
get out there and you know, meet people. Not to
mention the time, right, so I've got my daughter fifty
percent of the time, So the other fifty percent. You know,
I try to use that to go out. Then sometimes
I just need some me time to in alone time.
(31:20):
So my time is pretty limited.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
But I say, how far out is this farm? I mean,
do you have to drive into civilization? Why can't you
go out?
Speaker 4 (31:30):
Yeah? I mean I have to drive in, So it's
like thirty five minutes.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
That's effort. Yeah, that's effort.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
Effort.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Yeah, that's tough.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Well, you know, I don't know what you're doing in
early December.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
I know what she's doing because we're going to drag
her ass out to La. This is what's going to happen. Now,
this is what's gonna happen. We're gonna we're gonna all
take a road trip, all right. So we're gonna get
you off that farm and you are going to be
our guest for the jingle Ball December six out in
Los Angela's Califonia. You're not just gonna get to go
out and have a good time and party and walk
(32:05):
the red carpet and do that whole thing. You're actually
going to come out and we're gonna put you to
the test. I don't know how you're gonna feel about this,
but our celebrity mentors are gonna come out and they're
gonna observe you. You're almost gonna take a flirting test.
They're gonna watch and see how you operate as you're
trying to meet people, and then they are going to
give you kind of a grade on how you.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
Do, and they're gonna help boost your confidence getting back
out into the dating world, putting yourself out there, showing
up at this big event and just helping guide you.
It's it's scary to start over and to say this
is what I want. I'm putting myself out there. I mean,
you called us, which I'm really amazed by by the way.
(32:48):
What were you, what do you why did you call
and what were you hoping to get out of it?
Speaker 4 (32:52):
Gosh. Well, I've been a long time listener of you
guys when you first launched your podcast, and I've been
a long time listener of Jana Kramer's podcast, so I
know podcasts. And so when this came about, and my
friend Rebecca called me and told me, have you heard this?
I do part too, And I said no, she said,
(33:13):
well listen to it. I just called in and left
my information. You need to do the same thing. So,
I mean, she's been my in it to win a
girl this whole art. We went through our divorces together.
We've been listening to y'all's podcast together and just kind
of going through it. So yeah, this this is kind
of funny that she told me to call in and
(33:36):
and now here we are, so okay, let.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
Me let me ask you this way. We're gonna you're
gonna be out in La of course a jingle ball.
They're gonna gonna observe you, maybe give you some advice.
How was the best way to put this? Do you
think you have game? Elizabeth? If there was a guy
that you're interested in, do you know how to make
it clear too? Said gentlemen that you're interested. Are you
a good flirter?
Speaker 4 (33:58):
You know some people say I am, But then I
don't think that I am. I can talk to people,
but I don't. I don't know that I have any game.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
But you know what I think that is game like
knowing who you are, knowing what you are good at,
and knowing that, hey, I'm not going to be able
to like sweet talk my way into something. I'm just
going to be myself. You get to a certain age
right where you're like, Hey, this is who I am.
This is what you get. I might not be smooth,
I might not have swagger, but you know I bring
other things to the table, like humor and athleticism and
(34:31):
all those other things. So we're really excited about this
amazing event jingle Ball. You ready? You excited?
Speaker 4 (34:39):
I'm excited.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Are you going to come out? Are you going to
bring the little one with you? Or are you gonna this
is gonna be a mom trip?
Speaker 2 (34:45):
No, this is just me smart.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
Well, we will see you out there for the jingle Ball.
And Elizabeth, this is really cool getting a chance to
get to know you a little bit. This is really
really fun.
Speaker 4 (34:58):
I'm excited. Thank you guys.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
So all right, more to come. We can't wait to
hear all the updates. Elizabeth, And it was great getting
to know you. Thanks for calling in and thanks for
being on the podcast.
Speaker 4 (35:08):
Yes, thanks for having me. It's nice meeting you too.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Good to media, and we will see you in LA
And folks, we want you to know that if you
want to put yourself out there, do not give up
on the idea of finding love again.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
That's right, that's why we're here, and here's what we
want you to know you can call us, just like
Elizabeth did at one eight four four four I do Pod.
Let me give you the numbers if that's tough, because
I hate when I have to find the letters and
then figure out the corresponding numbers. Here is Here are
the numbers you need eight four four four four three
(35:41):
six seven six three. You can also email us at
idopod at iHeartRadio dot com how.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
They gonna find love? They can't even find our us
on social media.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Have to wait. You forgot how to read copy.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
It's quite all right, but all this information will be
in our show notes so you can rate and review
the podcast. We certainly got to appreciate that I Do
Part two an iHeartRadio podcast. We're falling in Love is
the objective. We appreciate you spending some time with us
wherever you are. If it's your first or second, your third,
maybe even your fourth, we hope you got love right
this time
Hey, there're folks, welcome to I Do Part to, a
one of a kind experiment in love and podcasting, and
we are not here to help just any old body
fine love. Oh no, bro, We are here specifically for
certain folks, Yes, for folks.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Who didn't get love right the first time, or maybe
even the second or third time, just like us. We
are two of your hosts for I Do Part two.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
I'm aye Robots, I'm TJ. Holmes, along with our fellow
co hosts Jenna Kramer and Jenny Garth, as well as
our celebrity mentors, we are going to give guidance based
on all of our varying degrees of relationship experience.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Experience you say, well, for us, that means two divorces each.
So we are not here to sit on our pedestal
and point fingers. Now, we encourage all of our listeners
to call in right in with their stories we know
we're not alone, and their hopes for getting love right
the next time.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
And one of those folks we heard from is someone
that maybe some of our listeners are even familiar with.
But take a listen now to one other people who
called in and say they need help looking for love.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Hey, missus, Elizabeth Brown, And I was just listening to
the podcast and my friend had told me that I
should call in. So here I am. I'm forty four
and three and a half years of worse. Her parents
a beautiful six year old daughter together and they're the
(01:39):
Nashville So anyway, anyway you can help, any advice would
be well appreciated.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Thanks, so sweet, so sweet, Elizabeth Brown. If that doesn't
sound familiar, maybe remember her as Elizabeth kit Elizabeth Kit Brown.
But Elizabeth is joining us now on the podcast, And honestly,
we actually asked our producers, Elizabeth, whether or not you
actually just called in or if there was some sort
(02:08):
of a reach out to you, and know you genuinely
called the podcast asking for help. And folks might know
who you are because you were a contestant on The Bachelor,
Yes a long.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
Time ago, yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
And then season fourteen and then also so I know,
Bachelor in Paradise, but you were on a show that
predated that as well, correct, yeah, Pad, Bachelor season.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Okay, remind us what Bachelor PAD was about.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
So it was more of a game show where you
had a chance to win two hundred and fifty thousand dollars.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
So you were looking for money, not love on that one.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Yes, maybe a little bit of both win win win win. Yeah,
but you did end up getting married to someone who
also was in the franchise. He was on the Bachelorette,
So you ended up not on the actual shows, you
were on Finding Love, but in a way, because of
the show, you found love. So tell us a little
bit about what happened. We know you're divorced now, but
(03:13):
tell us about the romance and then what happened.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
Yeah, so, coming off the shows, Ty was in La
visiting and I met up with him and a bunch
of the other bachelor people watching football, and I took
Tim right away because he's tall and he's a country
country boy, and there's that media attraction right after the show.
(03:38):
But then we both got into your relationships and it
was at the end of my to your relationship, and
I changed my status on Facebook, and twelve minutes later
he slid into my DMS and said, I think we.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Need to talk. Tell minutes, Elizabeth, twelve minutes after you
changed your status. Twelve minutes after the status change, he
was just standing by hitting refresh refresh for two years.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Yeah, So it's pretty cool. And he was living in
LA or sorry, he was living in Nashville. I was
in LA and I was looking to leave LA at
that time. I'd been there five years and we just
decided I would move to Nashville. And it was a
pretty quick dating relationship until we got married. So it
was all really fast. But how fast I moved here?
(04:28):
And when we started talking in February, I moved here
in April right in with him.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
Yeah, I've never lived with the guy really before that.
And then we got engaged in October and married by
the following March.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Wait a minute, okay, help us here. And again, everybody
has their own journey, their own experience, but to meet
somebody or it's one thing to move in with somebody
after what'd you say February to April? But you moved
across the country. So what into that big of a
decision to not just move in with a guy, but
to uproot your life and move across the country for
a guy.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Yeah, you know, it wasn't the first time I'd moved
across the country. I was kind of kind of good.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
That's your thing, Okay.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
I was thirty three and he was thirty four, and
we were just kind of at that age where you know,
we just wanted to kind of go for it, and
you know, I really wanted, you know, a lot of kids,
and yeah, you're in your early thirties the time, the
clock's ticking.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
So I get that.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
There was a lot of thoughts.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
No judgment here. I had a I was engaged in
four months and married to ten months. It also ended
in divorce, so I understand how sometimes you can get
caught up and maybe not do the due diligence you
should have done to make sure you're actually compatible, make
sure he actually is the one. So I know it's
we both know it's so hard, especially when children are involved,
(05:57):
to make the decision to divorce. What happened if you,
if you don't mind us asking what happened in your
relationship where you all decided that was the next best step.
Speaker 4 (06:05):
Yeah, I mean we I think looking back, I needed
to do a lot of work on myself before getting
into a marriage. I'd always been the girl that was
in the long relationships, and I went from relationship to
relationships since high school, and I guess I never really
(06:26):
found myself in order to present myself well to a partner.
And so looking back back this last three and a
half years, I've done a lot of work and just
kind of being single and just being alone for the
first time, and there's been so much growth in that.
You know, I finally found, you know, really who I
am and uncomfortable in who I am, and you know,
(06:49):
I had to get to know, like what do I
even like to do? You know, like what do I like?
Because I would always you know, get into a relationship
and just become whatever that person wanted me to be.
You know, I was good at it. So yeah, really
being alone and sitting in that and discovering myself the
last three and a half years has been really kind
(07:10):
of cool. So I probably should have done that before.
You know, I feel like I gave it a good
go fresh seven years with him, and you know, we
we had some struggles with fertility, so we did the
whole IVF thing and got our miracle daughter and who
we both adore and we co parent very well together.
(07:30):
And yeah, I think now I'm kind of ready to
start dating. But it's a challenge, you know, it's it's
not just me that I have to think about bringing
someone else into you know, this little world that we have,
and and just finding time as a single mom and
(07:51):
just all the things.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
You know, Elizabeth kind I asked the work you said
you've done in the past three hundred years, and three
hundred years and a half years told you we were
it feels like years. The work you've done on yourself
since divorce. The person you are now and what you've
become now, is this Elizabeth better prepared to be in
(08:15):
that marriage that you were in. Can you be a
better part? Can you all potentially work now because of
where you are or that ship's just passed?
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Well?
Speaker 4 (08:23):
He has a girlfriend now and quite a while.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Okay, thanks DJ.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
Now I have thought about it, you know, right when
we got divorced, you know, could we get back together?
I just think that, you know, he probably wouldn't have
married me now because you know, I'm just so much
more grounded and who I am and what I want
and my boundaries and you know, my voice, and so yeah,
(08:52):
I just I don't know that it would work. And
we co parent really well, and I like his girlfriend
and I think they've got a great thing going.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
So yeah, yeah, and you know what, that's awesome because
that woman, if she hangs around is obviously in your
daughter's life and will be a part of your daughter's life,
and so that's always something to consider.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
It just ca.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Yeah, Well, I mean, look, we've been down this road.
I've been down that road. I've been on both sides
of it. I've I have my daughters, have a step mom.
I've been a stepmom, So I get it. It's it's
you're not just marrying or dating a person, you're dating
their their children too, and their family. It all matters,
and so that's a big part of the equation. Have
(09:34):
you dated in this three and a half years and
what has that experience been like post divorce.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
It's been wild because I've you know, I never really
been single this long, and I guess right after my
divorce I kind of put myself out there too soon,
and I went on a few dates and I'm like,
you know, I this is not the time. But it
was awesome. It's so really strange because for the first
(10:01):
time ever, really young guys would be the only people
that would hit on me, like really young, and I'm like,
I don't know about dating, you know, younger guys. I've
usually dated people my age, and so that was something
that that was interesting from the start.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Did you go on dates with those younger guys? Did
you say?
Speaker 4 (10:21):
Yes, I did? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (10:24):
And what was that like?
Speaker 4 (10:26):
They were fun? You know, they were like they well,
I feel like I'm kind of young at heart too,
and especially you know, I'm forty four, but I have
a six year old daughter, so I'm kind of more
in that, you know, younger age group with my mom
group and things. So but yeah, they I felt like
the younger guys really put in more of an effort
(10:48):
and they got really excited about the dates, whereas the
older guys or you know, guys my age or you know,
even older, they're just kind of like, yeah, you want
to go on a date? You know, They're just not
like I'm really excited.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
You know, Eliz, what is you say younger guys? What
age range are you talking about?
Speaker 4 (11:06):
Like ten years younger? Like early thirties?
Speaker 1 (11:10):
All right, You're not going out with twenty four year olds.
Speaker 4 (11:12):
No, But they would hit on me and I'm like, sir,
you are way too young for me.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Why you think that is? Why is it that younger
guys are coming after you?
Speaker 4 (11:22):
I don't know. It was kind of a joke there
for a while because anytime I'd go out with my friends,
you know, the only guys that would hit on me
were really young, and they would be like, how old
is that one? And I'm like, just way too young.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Some woman might say that's not a bad problem to
ask you, is that a compliment to have? It is
a compliment. I would absolutely think that was a compliment.
I mean, look, I snagged a younger guy. TJ's four
and a half years younger than me. I'm curious how
much younger would you feel comfortable with dating and maybe
eventually marrying, Like do you have a number going younger
(11:59):
and a number going older?
Speaker 4 (12:01):
Yeah? So, because I've put a lot of thought into that,
and there were some you know, younger guys that maybe
I wrote off a little too soon. But my my
criteria is I don't mind them being you know, ten
years younger probably at the most. But my thing is,
you know, they're thirty four, and you know, do they
(12:23):
want kids? Because I don't want to have any more kids.
You know, I'm forty four, so kind of past that.
I think if I were, you know, a decade older,
and they were a decade young, you know, younger at
the time, I don't think it would be that big
of a deal because the you know, the baby years
are kind of you know, off the table, if that
makes sense.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Where are and how are you meeting folks to date
the past three and a half years?
Speaker 4 (12:58):
Oh jeez. Sometimes through the apps and sometimes out and about. Ideally,
I think I would like to meet someone you know
that is like a setup, you know, through a friend
or something, because it would feel more vetted or at work.
But now I work from home, so I don't like
go into an office every day where I'm meeting people
(13:20):
all the time. And I live on a little five
acre farm outside of Nashville, so I'm kind of isolated
a lot, so it's kind of harder. I feel invisible
a lot. It's like, how do I how do I
get out there and meet people?
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Don't put too much stock and go into the office
and meeting people. Office romances go really bad.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
You can actually end your career.
Speaker 5 (13:40):
Yeah, we're here, so we could have absolutely Is that
about a year ago?
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Do you have? You know, you said you don't want
any more kids of your own, which is understandable. You've
got your beautiful six year old daughter, But what about
dating or being with a man who also has his
own children.
Speaker 4 (14:05):
I would love that. I in fact, when I was,
you know, in my early thirties and not married, I
started thinking I'll probably be a stepmom, you know, because
I'm getting a little older, and I was excited about
that idea, you know, of being a stepmom. I think
the hardest thing, though, has been I've met guys that
are that have kids, but then it's trying to find time,
(14:26):
you know, like with parenting schedules and everything. It just
seems like if you're if you have opposite weekends, forget
about it. You know, you'll never see each other.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
What is the I guess how serious would things have
to get before you would allow somebody you're dating to
meet your daughter? Who's six? Right? So has anything gotten
that far? And what what would need to happen for
you to be comfortable with somebody meeting your daughter.
Speaker 4 (14:49):
Yeah, I've put a lot of thought into that too,
because I don't want, you know, her getting attached to
somebody and then and not working out or you know whatnot.
It would just have to be I don't know if
there's exactly a timeframe on it. I've heard like six
months is a general rule. But I think it would
have to be you know, I could really see this
(15:10):
person being in our lives, you know, And so anytime
I start talking to somebody, I think of that, I'm like, well,
how would they fit in what we have going on?
You know, my ex you know, Tyme's got a good
situation because she's got two boys that are around my
daughter's age, and you know, Blakely's already calling them her brothers,
(15:33):
which is cute, you know, So I love that for
her to have that sibling, you know, the siblings. So yeah,
if it happened for me, that'd be great.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
But it's really to you just said. That's cool to hear,
and it is so nice to see a mom supportive
of her daughter's experience in another family and just knowing
I used to always say this, but I think you're
in the same wave. Like, the more people who love
my girls, the better they're going to be. So would
I be jealous or territorial if it just means they're
(16:03):
being loved by more people, And that's I think how
you have to look at it, if you're looking out
for their best interests.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
Now, that's so true because I ran a half marathon
a couple weekends ago.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Gratulations, thank you, and.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
I didn't have anyone to watch my daughter, and his
girlfriend was available and she said, I'll take her for
the morning. So I got to drop her off, you know,
with his girlfriend, and they went and got their nails done,
and then afterwards I went to pick her up, and
me and the girlfriend talked for quite a while, you know,
just kind of hung out and talked, and it's really
(16:39):
cool to see that. And she was excited because she
doesn't usually get one on one time with my daughter,
so she's she thought it was really special that they
got their girl time because she's a she's a mom
of boys, you know, so she doesn't get to do
the nail stuff very often.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
What are your and again, that's wonderful to hear, given
we have to excuse me, four divorces between the two
of us, and you know, those family dynamics can be difficult,
and it's good to hear it's working as well as
it is. So so really, we just got to get
you hooked up here. So what are your absolutes for me?
It's smoking, Like if I hear somebody's a smoker, that
(17:17):
would be an absolute. I don't even want to go
out on the date. Do you do you have some
absolute non negotiables. I will not compromise and date a
guy who does blank blank blank blank blank. Do you
have any gosh you.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
Know, really, I just am looking for someone that's, you know,
very kind and somebody that loves kids. I guess probably
if they didn't love kids, that would be a big
deal breaker for me. So just like loving kids, being
family oriented, I also have to have the same sense
of humor, because I realized that in my marriage. I
(17:52):
was like, you don't get my jokes. My jokes are funny,
well high brow, but you know we're dark humor.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Yes, And I think one of the ways we connected
as friends was through humor one hundred percent, and that
had been something that I had an experience before. Someone
you can laugh with. And I love that you just
said that because I think we both I know, I
have learned that that for me is a huge component
of our relationship, is that we can laugh together and
(18:22):
laugh at the same types of things together. And yeah,
when you don't get each other's humor, that's tough. That's
a huge and I've had that, Like you're like, well,
this is just the you can't have fun the whole
point of right, we should be enjoying each other and
you kind of have to enjoy each other's sense of humor.
Speaker 4 (18:40):
Yes, And I never realized that was such a big
thing for me until you know. Yeah, and then when
somebody laughs at me, it's almost like my love language.
I'm like, oh, they get my jokes like they get me,
and so I love that.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
It's so funny what you just said. Because DJ laughs
at me, I laugh with him. But I'm okay with that.
I'm fine if I'm the source of the humor, not
something that I was choosing to be.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
But you're the fun I tell you this all the time.
You're one of the funniest people I know. When you're
not trying to be funny, just you being you, I
end up falling off.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Yeah, you're hilarious, you really really are.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
But what I try to crack a joke, it falls
flat every time. So now I just be me and
that apparently is funny.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
It works. Maybe we also had someone else, I think
a friend of yours, Rebecca right also who's a member
of Bache Nation, ended up calling in as well. Both
of them, and again we're telling folks. This they this
came out of the blue. We did not solicit So
you all just happened to both call in. We're going
to hear from Rebecca a little layer on I do
(19:42):
part two. But you have you have us. Now, look,
we have a lot of relationship experience between the two
of us, and so if you have access to us
and all of our vast experience and background, what would
you want to ask? What are some questions you have
for folks like us?
Speaker 4 (20:01):
Oh gosh, well, I love that you guys met in
your friends first. You know, I think ideally that that's
what I would love to have, But like I find
myself going on dates and kind of sabotaging them from
the start because I don't want it to go too fast.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
You know.
Speaker 4 (20:20):
I'm like, I just want to get to know each
other's friends. Can we just go do fun things in
Nashville and if you know we've all in love, we
fall in love. But like, I'm not going into it
trying to fall in love. I just you know, want
to I want to get to know people and hang
out and you know, see where it goes. But like,
how do I how do I say that on a
first date? Like, Sam, I met someone from the apps,
(20:42):
and I'm like.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
I would argue, you have a challenge. If you're on
a dating app and you set up a meeting with
the person of that dating app, they're going to think
they're on a date. Period. Yeah, so it's hard to
get someone out for a meal or whatever and you're
halfway through your surfing turf and that bottle of line
you say, oh, yeah, by the way, I just want
to be friends. That's not going to go over well,
I'm serious. It just it's difficult to set it up
(21:05):
that way, I would argue, and I will ask the
question as well, is there someone already in your life
who could end up being that mate? Because that for
eight years I didn't know this one sitting next to
me I would end up in a relationship with. It
never crossed my mind. So it's possible that person's already
in your life. I just think Robe, she's like, it's
(21:27):
a challenge to on a dating app get somebody to
then think, oh, we're just I just want to be friends,
and then see what happens.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
So I think, yes, saying that is off putting immediately,
and You're right, I do think that probably sabotages because
I mean if I heard that from someone who I
was excited about meeting or seeing, I would feel like,
womph wah. It would be like was it something I said?
Do you not like how I look? But you would
feel that immediately, so you're immediately going on the defense.
But I think that if you have it in your
(21:54):
mind and you know that you want a relationship that
is built from a friendship, I think I think you
don't have to announce it. You'll just feel it out.
If you have that friend vibe with somebody who you
also are attracted to, that's obviously what you're looking for, right,
So I don't think you have to say it. I
don't think you have to announce it. I think you
just know. I'll know it when I feel it. I'll
(22:15):
know it when I see it. We're laughing at the
same things. We both like to watch horror movies, whatever,
we both like to run half marathons. You start to
see that you've got similar interests and similar ways of reacting.
I always a similar mode of operation. I've noticed that
in looking at what's worked and what hasn't. If you
value the same things, you operate similarly. And you like
(22:39):
some of the same things. That is how friendships are built.
So if those components are there, there will be a
friendship in addition to the romance. But I think you
just have to look for it. If you announce it,
I think you're gonna turn people off for sure. And
that's happened because it kind of feels like a rejection
or like you're on a trial basis, and that doesn't
(23:02):
feel good, Like, oh, now you know, now I'm.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
The trial base is a good way to put it.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
And I think it would it would definitely make me
feel like I wasn't good enough or you know, I
think that might be you know, and not that women
don't have egos too, but I think the masculine ego
tends to be even slightly more fragile sometimes in those moments.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
And I asked, Elizabeth, is there anyone you can think
of in your life right now? You might not even
be thinking about them as a romantic partner, but do
you have some friend that's been around a long time?
And you'll kind of do you have anybody? And in mind,
you don't have to say who it is, but you
have anything like that, somebody who's been kind of just
hanging around for the past I don't know, eight years.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
I wish I could say. Yet, when I moved here
and moved right in with my ex, I kind of
we we got friends together, so I kind of moved
into his world. And so after the divorce, I've had
to find a whole new group of friends and they're
all mare you know, like my mom, they're all married.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
So not yet, no help, But that's what I would
think about that situation. But yeah, to a point, you
don't have to announce it. You'll just feel it and
it'll it'll flow, and if y'all want to get together
again next time, it might be for a baseball game,
or it might be for something more laid back and
not necessarily have the pressure and the romantic feel of
(24:18):
an actual date, and it'll just happen.
Speaker 5 (24:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
It's funny because I think so many women go into
these dates, especially someone who may be divorced looking for
a new partner, who's had the time to work on themselves,
and kind of almost feel like in a rush, like
I don't want to date you unless you're serious. It's
so so funny. You're saying the exact opposite, but both
of those things I think send people running.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
Do you have any thoughts on where I would go
to like meet single guys instead of going on the
apps to set that up?
Speaker 2 (24:58):
You know, luckily I've never had to do the app thing,
but I've only heard I mean, there are obviously success stories,
but it feels like it's so hard to determine what
people's motivations are on those apps. So I would So
you mentioned you just ran a half marathon. I don't
know if Nashville, but I'm assuming they have run clubs.
But I feel like, if you love running, or you
love hiking, or you love biking, whatever it is, join
(25:20):
the club in your area. Like we see this all
the time in New York. We have run clubs everywhere
and it's so cool. But this is like the new
non dating app, but a like person to person in
face meeting with folks who share the same passion, and
you could start running together and it just can develop.
There's no pressure then, because you weren't swiping left or right.
You're actually just doing something you love and they are too.
(25:41):
So that would be a suggestion of mine to join
a run club. I know you've got a young daughter,
but if you can fit it in once or twice
a week, you might meet some really cool, awesome people
who share your interests.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Yeah, and usually the runners are in pretty good shape.
That's just an added bonus. But your frame graun, I
know you talk about the other I mean they're all
coupled up. But in that group, anytime there's a chance
to get to little folks, you me, we invite it
to so many little I don't know, a movie premieres
(26:12):
or a little book signings, or anytime you can get
into a situation where there's not pressure, whereas just a
group of folks hanging out. And if it's a say yes,
if a friend wants to drag you to a church
pot luck, say yes, if a friend wants to drag
it to whatever it may be. You just I think
you always have to get into a situation where there's
no pressure. When you've met these folks, there's no pressure
(26:33):
to sit down for a meal, no pressure to make
a connection, and it just happens naturally to get go
to a wedding, go to any social any of these
social gatherings where they're just people just wanted to have
a good time. And I think that's a way to
go say yes to everything.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (26:47):
I love that. Now you guys are both parents, so
what are your thoughts on the whole introducing someone to
your kid thing?
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Like?
Speaker 4 (26:54):
What what are your thoughts on those on that?
Speaker 2 (26:56):
Yeah, I mean I think it's obviously we all want
to pret our kids at all costs and I would
not and did not introduce my then young daughters until
it was somebody who I knew was going to be
in their lives for a long time. You can't ever
predict the future, obviously, and it's a case by case basis.
(27:17):
I wouldn't for me. I don't know that I would
give it a timeline. It'd be more if we are
in an exclusive relationship and we've decided to take that
next step not to see other people, then it's hard
to constantly and some people choose to do that and
I respect that too, But you know, I think once
you've made that commitment, that for me would be when
I'd be willing to start to introduce that person into
(27:40):
my children's life.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
I agree, and we or we just went through this again.
My daughter is eleven, but we let her guide how
she wanted to be introduced. We that was never a
time I had to put pressure on her and say
this is what's happening. It was more let her guide
when she got curious, or when I continue to talk
to her about it and say, hey, are you okay
if Robot comes to this or comes over to that,
And it's just become natural to the point now sometimes
(28:03):
my daughter doesn't even want to come over and hang
out or go do something unless, oh, is robot going
to be with us? Right? She asked for so we
got to this great place. But she one hundred percent
led the way on what she was comfortable with. And
win six years seven years old, like your daughter is.
Maybe she is getting to the point she can make
that call and she'll get curious. But it really helped
(28:25):
to kind of the child is old enough to let
them guide.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
Yeah, I love that. That's really good. Letting them gue.
What happens if they meet the person and they don't
really like them, like what do you do? Do you
stay in the relationship or what?
Speaker 2 (28:41):
And well, you know what, So, especially if they're older
kids like you could be in this position, right, so
you could be introduced to this guy's children who were
older and they may not like you. You know, it's and
I think I would just say, whoever the person is
who's not being liked by the children, that's kind of
a red flag because those children are never going away,
(29:03):
and you might want to spend some time trying to
convince them, but sometimes it just doesn't matter, and you
are setting yourself up, or that your potential partner is
setting themselves up for a lot of friction that is
almost impossible to undo. That's why, yes, take your time.
But if there is a bad experience and a bad
(29:24):
feeling and bad juju, that might be really hard to overcome,
and I think it might be I mean, the person
who is not liked might be the person who has
to say this isn't a comfortable situation for me to
be in, and nobody wins. So that's a really tough
one because I'm sure there are people who can and
children who can be convinced and persuaded, But sometimes you
(29:44):
have to ask yourself, can I be in a relationship
with somebody when I know every time their children are around,
I feel uncomfortable or they feel that I have found
that to be a very difficult situation.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Then you have to ask some questions about why the
kids might not like the other or the boyfriend or
the girlfriend, and the owners has to be on the
parents of that children to a great degree, like what
have they been saying? Why have they not guided this
process a little better? Because no kids should just they
might not like somebody because okay, my mom is being
replaced my other parents. They might feel that way, but
(30:20):
they shouldn't. And I know it's delicate, it's very difficult,
but to just hate somebody outright, you have to have
help from your partner to guide that situation. But to
Robot's point, it is so the relationships are hard already.
Blending families is hard already. On top of that, we
have to navigate your children not liking me. That is
difficult to almost impossible to do. So that's a really
(30:43):
really big deal.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Yes, no, it is that that is something to like
when you have children or when the other person that
has to be considered. Yes, yes, yes, very much. So.
Speaker 4 (30:57):
Well, being out on this farm and you know, working
from home, I don't have a lot of opportunities to
get out there and you know, meet people. Not to
mention the time, right, so I've got my daughter fifty
percent of the time, So the other fifty percent. You know,
I try to use that to go out. Then sometimes
I just need some me time to in alone time.
(31:20):
So my time is pretty limited.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
But I say, how far out is this farm? I mean,
do you have to drive into civilization? Why can't you
go out?
Speaker 4 (31:30):
Yeah? I mean I have to drive in, So it's
like thirty five minutes.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
That's effort. Yeah, that's effort.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
Effort.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Yeah, that's tough.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Well, you know, I don't know what you're doing in
early December.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
I know what she's doing because we're going to drag
her ass out to La. This is what's going to happen. Now,
this is what's gonna happen. We're gonna we're gonna all
take a road trip, all right. So we're gonna get
you off that farm and you are going to be
our guest for the jingle Ball December six out in
Los Angela's Califonia. You're not just gonna get to go
out and have a good time and party and walk
(32:05):
the red carpet and do that whole thing. You're actually
going to come out and we're gonna put you to
the test. I don't know how you're gonna feel about this,
but our celebrity mentors are gonna come out and they're
gonna observe you. You're almost gonna take a flirting test.
They're gonna watch and see how you operate as you're
trying to meet people, and then they are going to
give you kind of a grade on how you.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
Do, and they're gonna help boost your confidence getting back
out into the dating world, putting yourself out there, showing
up at this big event and just helping guide you.
It's it's scary to start over and to say this
is what I want. I'm putting myself out there. I mean,
you called us, which I'm really amazed by by the way.
(32:48):
What were you, what do you why did you call
and what were you hoping to get out of it?
Speaker 4 (32:52):
Gosh. Well, I've been a long time listener of you
guys when you first launched your podcast, and I've been
a long time listener of Jana Kramer's podcast, so I
know podcasts. And so when this came about, and my
friend Rebecca called me and told me, have you heard this?
I do part too, And I said no, she said,
(33:13):
well listen to it. I just called in and left
my information. You need to do the same thing. So,
I mean, she's been my in it to win a
girl this whole art. We went through our divorces together.
We've been listening to y'all's podcast together and just kind
of going through it. So yeah, this this is kind
of funny that she told me to call in and
(33:36):
and now here we are, so okay, let.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
Me let me ask you this way. We're gonna you're
gonna be out in La of course a jingle ball.
They're gonna gonna observe you, maybe give you some advice.
How was the best way to put this? Do you
think you have game? Elizabeth? If there was a guy
that you're interested in, do you know how to make
it clear too? Said gentlemen that you're interested. Are you
a good flirter?
Speaker 4 (33:58):
You know some people say I am, But then I
don't think that I am. I can talk to people,
but I don't. I don't know that I have any game.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
But you know what I think that is game like
knowing who you are, knowing what you are good at,
and knowing that, hey, I'm not going to be able
to like sweet talk my way into something. I'm just
going to be myself. You get to a certain age
right where you're like, Hey, this is who I am.
This is what you get. I might not be smooth,
I might not have swagger, but you know I bring
other things to the table, like humor and athleticism and
(34:31):
all those other things. So we're really excited about this
amazing event jingle Ball. You ready? You excited?
Speaker 4 (34:39):
I'm excited.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Are you going to come out? Are you going to
bring the little one with you? Or are you gonna this
is gonna be a mom trip?
Speaker 2 (34:45):
No, this is just me smart.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
Well, we will see you out there for the jingle Ball.
And Elizabeth, this is really cool getting a chance to
get to know you a little bit. This is really
really fun.
Speaker 4 (34:58):
I'm excited. Thank you guys.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
So all right, more to come. We can't wait to
hear all the updates. Elizabeth, And it was great getting
to know you. Thanks for calling in and thanks for
being on the podcast.
Speaker 4 (35:08):
Yes, thanks for having me. It's nice meeting you too.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Good to media, and we will see you in LA
And folks, we want you to know that if you
want to put yourself out there, do not give up
on the idea of finding love again.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
That's right, that's why we're here, and here's what we
want you to know you can call us, just like
Elizabeth did at one eight four four four I do Pod.
Let me give you the numbers if that's tough, because
I hate when I have to find the letters and
then figure out the corresponding numbers. Here is Here are
the numbers you need eight four four four four three
(35:41):
six seven six three. You can also email us at
idopod at iHeartRadio dot com how.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
They gonna find love? They can't even find our us
on social media.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Have to wait. You forgot how to read copy.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
It's quite all right, but all this information will be
in our show notes so you can rate and review
the podcast. We certainly got to appreciate that I Do
Part two an iHeartRadio podcast. We're falling in Love is
the objective. We appreciate you spending some time with us
wherever you are. If it's your first or second, your third,
maybe even your fourth, we hope you got love right
this time
Host
Jana Kramer
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