June 12, 2025 • 43 mins
Jennie Garth and Jana Kramer are playing matchmaker! These two sit down with former "Bachelorette" winner JP Rosenbaum to hear how he and his ex-wife are co-parenting, how hard dating is in Miami, and what he's looking for in his chapter 2!
Plus, JP gives the details women want to know - he's giving you the truth about what women should have (and should avoid) on their dating profiles!
Email us at: IDOPOD@iheartradio.com or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Hello, it's I Do Part two. I'm Jenny Garth that
I'm here with the beautiful, lovely Janna Kramer.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
My friend.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
He This is gonna be a fun chat because we
have a newly I think not so newly, but a
single man a coming on and we are going to
just get to the bottom of what it's like to
be a single guy.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Yeah, because we always hear a lot from the single
women m M exactly, so it'll be nice to hear
from him and what, you know, how things have been going,
from his divorce and everything that he's been going through.
So it's a little a man's perspective, because.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
A man's perspective. We need it because I don't know.
I certainly don't know what a man's looking for out there,
and I'm sure a lot of women can relate if
you're not out there, you know, dating and going through
the apps and all that stuff. I'm so curious. Yeah, absolutely,
let's bring him in. Okay, let's do it today. We're
going to chat with someone who is in their own
I Do Part two era. You got to know this
(01:13):
guy back on Season seven of the Bachelorette when he
proposed to and married Ashley but like most of us
on this podcast, he got divorced a few years ago,
and we're going to catch up with him and hear
what's going on. Please welcome JP Rosenbaum Podcast. Hey, hey, okay,
(01:34):
let's give our listeners a little background, if he would,
in case they aren't huge Bachelor Nation fans and they
live under a rock like me. You were a contestant
on Ashley's season of The Bachelorette. Tell us a little
bit about how long you guys were married and your
sort of family as it turned out.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Sure, so we met in twenty eleven on the show.
We got married end of twenty twelve. We were married
for about seven and a half years, happily had two
kids who are now ten and a half and eight
and a half.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Yeah, we were living up in Jersey for a little bit,
in New York for a little bit, moved down to
Miami in the summer of twenty fourteen. And then I'm
going to skip over a few years, but about about
two weeks before COVID hit, we decided to get divorced.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
So, oh wow.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
February of twenty twenty. Is that about right? It's all a.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Blurb, but yeah, what happened for COVID. Then if you guys,
right before COVID you decided, did you guys separate and
have two houses?
Speaker 3 (02:41):
That kind of thing. So that was the tricky thing, right,
So the kids were coming back from school, how are
we going to sell the house? There were all these things,
all these unknown questions that we just kind of had
to navigate. So no, I ended up moving into the
guest room for six months on a place. We sold
(03:01):
the house, I moved out, I found a place, and so,
you know, it was it was an interesting year.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
But that was before because you guys, didn't you do
a GMA about your I don't want to mispronounce the Giambret. Yeah,
that was that was before so then because I'm like,
you guys were still technically married at that point, right,
because it was did you guys get back together or
what was that?
Speaker 3 (03:29):
So that was right before. So I we were away
for our anniversary in December that in nineteen when I
had gotten sick, and so you know, it was obviously
it was downward spiraling, but before that, but so I
got sick and then two months later, three months later,
(03:51):
we decided to get divorce. So it was it was
a rough year, Like my mom was diagnosed with cancer,
I had Giambaret, Like we decided to get divorced. It
was a rough couple of years.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
So what do you think, because Johnny and I were
just talking about this, what do you think was the
hardest year of marriage for you? Obviously the end was hard,
but like when you can kind of look back, was like,
was it the first year? Was it the second year?
Like what was what was the hardest that you're like,
this is maybe you.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Know, yeah, I think twenty nineteen, you know, the last
year just because of everything that was going on in
our lives. You know, we we were happy, but you know,
kids came around and made things more difficult and we
stopped talking, we stopped communicating, and that permeated every aspect
(04:37):
of the marriage. And so, you know, the last year
with with my mom, with my illness, then deciding to
get divorced, it was and then and then COVID it
was all. The last year to two was certainly the hardest,
just because of the you know, the special circumstances of
those two years.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Yeah, it's interesting too because you say the seven and
a half, it's like that seven year itch that like
that statistic. I don't even know what the statistic is
around it. I was just going to google it. But
so many people it's like, all right, that's where it's
the breaking point of their communication or the breaking point
of what things are. It's like that, it's interesting.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Wow, we've heard about that recently really.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Like, of course, why did you guys stop talking? Like,
what do you think from your perspective, was the initial
like the communication breakdown? Why does that happen?
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Yeah, that is very I have so much perspective now.
You know, in the moment, you don't know why. You know,
you just know that things are not working. You know
that you start resenting each other and you start just
just everything just starts breaking down. So, now that I've
had time to reflect and heal, and you know, I've
(05:55):
done my own self healing and certainly spoken to therapist
and read a lot and way too many podcasts and
gone down the Instagram rabbit holes, I think that, you know,
the the baseline of it all is that we are
very different people. We have very different perspectives on life
(06:19):
and so many aspects of life. We have different love languages,
we have different just we are just very different and
that doesn't really mesh. And when you start butting heads
on those things that don't mesh, it becomes very frustrating
and you don't know how to get past it, even
(06:40):
if you're supposed to get past it, like you don't
know how to process it. You don't know how to
accept the other person's perspective, you don't how to understand
the other person's perspective, and you just start butting heads
and it becomes like, oh, here we go again, and
we're not going to get anywhere, and you know and yeah,
and it just goes around and round and round. And
unless you are both the types of people that understand
(07:04):
what's going on, understand the problems, are motivated to fix
the problems, I think it can just spiral out of control.
Then it becomes like I don't really care what you
have to say because I know what you're going to
say anyway, and I don't want to understand it because
you don't understand me, and it just spirals into every
aspect of the marriage.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
What I find so interesting about that, though, is even
when you go into the next relationship, you have to
still I mean, yeah, you know more things, you know
more tools, and you know, you hopefully do the work individually,
but then when you go into a new relationship too.
I mean, just like we were talking about with you know,
our husbands, it's like, you know, you still there's still
things that come up. So it's like, what work are
(07:46):
you going to put into to help with the communication,
right because our styles are so different or we're both
so stubborn and to go all right? Because the love
is still there. So I wonder when you look back
and go, now that I know all this, you know,
do you think you guys have because to my knowledge,
I don't remember there ever being some big scandal like that,
namely cheated or there was like something really bad. So
(08:06):
it's like, is the love still there? Would that have
been maybe fixed?
Speaker 3 (08:10):
That's such a hard question to answer because at the
core of it, like I said, we're just different and
I don't know, you know, if if the me of
today were the me of ten years ago, would it
be different? Would she see things differently? Would I react differently?
Like that is an endless thought cycle that I stopped
(08:32):
thinking about years ago because there I hate not having
an answer something that can't be answered, right, can't answer that,
Like I definitely would have been more prepared to deal
with it, and I certainly would have done more on
my end, knowing what I know now, But would it
have changed any result? I have no idea. You know,
(08:57):
that's a tough one to answer.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
How are you guys doing now? Your co parenting, which
is a whole another type of relationship. I think Jane
and I both know a lot about that, and it's
not easy. It's not easy. How are you guys doing today?
And how are you handling co parenting? And what would
you tell somebody out there who's listening, who's in your
position and trying to co parent with somebody that is
(09:22):
very different than they are.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Yeah, we're actually in a really great place right now,
really great, And I will admit it took me a
long time to get there.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Like how long?
Speaker 2 (09:35):
What was taking you so long to get there?
Speaker 1 (09:37):
We have questions about what was it? How long?
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Yeah? Yeah, I was in a definitive like funk where
it's like I'm mad, I resent.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Her, like a defensive stance, all of.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
It, all of yeah, and even things where I didn't
need to say no to her on I would do
it by like I was in a really bad place.
She started dating something someone that got you know, that
made things even worse, And so I had my own
going on, and so it was very difficult for me
to get to that next place where I don't want
(10:15):
to speak for her, but she was seemingly there much
quicker than I was, And so I would say it
took me a good at least two years. I mean
at least, you know, even when it came to dating.
But that's a whole, other, whole other discussion. So it
took me a few years to get there. And you know,
(10:36):
now we are at a place where I harbor no
anxiety for it, no resentment. I'm not mad, I am
I'm in a I'm in I'm in a really great place.
When it comes to her and.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
She and I, do you think, what do you think
it was though that made you be able to switch
to this.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
You turn the anger off? I guess yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
I mean, look, I have, like, I've done a lot
of healing, right, I've spoken to therapists, I have read,
I have listened to podcasts, I have reflected I have
you know, I've changed my perception of it all and
what everything that I'm holding onto, what is it is?
Any of it really hurt or is it all just me?
(11:19):
And unless I learned to let go of all that,
I'm never going to feel any better. And so it
wasn't as if I woke up one morning and I
was like, oh, I'm all better. You know. It was
definitely the biggest cliche of them all time, like but time.
You know, Yeah, I wish I could go back and
tell me of three years ago, like, look, look where
you are in three years from now. There is a
(11:40):
light at the end of the tunnel, Like you don't
need to feel all this and just know that it
will get better.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
So, yeah, I just have to go through it. You
have to, you have to wage your way through it.
But I think everybody's different.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Yeah, And I think it's hard when there is someone
else too, like another man around your kids, and you know,
I'm it's hard for the woman too, and there's another
woman around the kids, and so I think that adds
a whole other element. But then when you start to
separate and go okay as long as they're loved, but
if there's issues within that, then it just adds more complication.
Speaker 3 (12:11):
Yeah. I remember when they first started dating, I was like,
I don't want him to come to any baseball games.
I don't like no, no, no, no, no, ye, I
will make a scene like I was. It was ridiculous,
you know. Now, like they've been together for for a
while and he's you know, the kids love him and
his family's nice to the kids, and like it's a
it's a good dynamic. So but but two three years ago, man,
(12:32):
like no, I was you Yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
I think that's a great place to be to be
because it's like I have, you know, I know also
that feeling of just being so angry. But then and
another friend too that's dealing with it as well. That's
like what is that actually doing for us? Like that's
not good for us. And there's no anything that I
say to my act isn't going to change. He's not
going to ever. He didn't understand me when we were married.
It's not he's gonna understand me now post divorce, you know.
(12:58):
So it's it's like, what why am I wasting my
energy on something where it's like what is the point?
Speaker 4 (13:04):
Right?
Speaker 3 (13:04):
No, I totally agree, Like I've explained it to some
people who are like that, you know, the triggers are
still there. She's still her I just give less of
a now, and you know, and that's not going to change.
So I just have to change. I just have to
think about it differently and process it differently, and I
can only control how I react, you know.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
So I like to do a lot of unsent messages
and emails, Like I just wrote one the other day
where it was just an email. I end up not
sending it, but I needed to just say it out
loud because I know that what if I pressed and
he wouldn't care what I said, right, it doesn't it
doesn't matter, but it mattered to me to get it out.
Wait can you wait?
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Can you unsend emails?
Speaker 2 (13:40):
I'm so curious what I'm saying, like, so I don't
actually press that. I just kind of write like a note,
you know. I wish I could actually it's like a
five appreciate Yeah, but that's these are we're talking years ago.
I'd like to get rid of that evidence of anger.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
No, I think you're screwed.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Thanks thanks a lot. Speaking of screw do are you
dating anyone?
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Thank you? No? No, I I.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
You know there was a pause because it's a no no.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
It's like I'm the team, but it's not there's no
one serious. You know, I'm going through the motions of dating.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Okay, wait, so this is exciting. You're dating? Are you
on any apps?
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Because I have to be Yeah, but which apps are
you on? I'm curious?
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Why are you getting red?
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Because it sucks, like I feel, I.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Just every guy says this, by the way, it does. Yeah,
really do you prefer hinge to bumble or bumble the hinge?
Speaker 3 (14:39):
I'm indifferent. I don't care. I think they are equally triggering.
They trap you, Like it's like nobody's serious. You know,
there's fake profiles, like everyone really endless options, so like
no one really pays attention. So you kind of got
to sift through the haystack to find the needle. And
(15:00):
you know, every once in a while you meet someone
that that that you know makes sense and then you
can date. It is it's exhausting and it sucks. And
not being from South Florida, from Miami, I don't exactly
have a huge network and the age of at I
don't exactly have a new huge network of friends and
single friends. I want to set me up with friends
(15:22):
and it's not like I'm going out to bars. I'm
not you know, meeting people organically. I would love to
do that.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Well, it's also you're kind of limited to It's not
like you can move, right, So it's like I always
when I started dating Alan, it's like I he lived
in England, Like I can't move. I have to stay
in Nashville. So that was kind of where when I was,
you know, dating, it's like it if it doesn't make sense,
like why continue on? You know, because it's like if
this person is landlocked there and I'm landlocked here, what
is actually the point?
Speaker 3 (15:47):
Right? Totally?
Speaker 2 (15:48):
You know, So it's like when you're on there, it's
like how you know, it's like you obviously wouldn't move
from your kids there at a beautiful fun age, like
you wouldn't move.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
Yeah, not until college.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Right, that's a while. That's a while.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
How old are the kids?
Speaker 3 (16:02):
Ten and a half and eight and a half?
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Yeah, yeah, you're stuck there for a while. So you
don't have a lot of friends that are setting you up,
so talk to us. I don't know, Jane, have you
ever been on a dating app?
Speaker 2 (16:13):
I was on Riyah. You're on Riah Okay, yeah, but
that app was ridiculous, ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
It was just a funny Riya story. My ex husband,
Peter uh Was, I was told was on Ria and
his age whatever range that he was looking for was
also the age range of his oldest daughter. So she
they came, she came across him on her thing. Stop. Yeah, no, okay,
(16:50):
So what's your what's your age limit? I don't know
how it.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Works, so I'm pretty be honest.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
After that story, you can ask me anything.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
I'm an open book. I'm thirty two to my age
I'm forty eight, so I'm all over the place, but
only because it's a needle in a haystack. And you know, technically,
if you make the haystack bigger than needles.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Do you believe the age is just a number? Do
you date older women? These are two questions.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Let's attack the first one. So it depends where you
are in life, right. I think that you can certainly
fall in love with with with a woman that's you know,
significantly younger. But you know, if she hasn't been through
a lot from a relationship standpoint, if she wants a family,
if she doesn't have her career is not getting going yet,
(17:46):
like there's there. It depends where you are, Like the
timing has to be right, and then age is but
a number if that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Would you like the person to be a mom or
does that not?
Speaker 3 (17:58):
I think it helps, but it's not a prerequisite. Like
I think it helps.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
What have you met somebody that had like five kids?
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Do I have to support them? Because if I have
to support them, then it's probably a hard no. But
it depends on the dynamic too. Right is she a
full time mom? Does she has the all five kids
the entire time? Is it fifty to fifty? So there
are so many factors, Like I don't want to rule
people out, but that's I mean a single moms are
(18:28):
the hardest working people I know. And so if the
father's not in the picture and she doesn't have help,
like that's hard to navigate, right, you know, Like how
is she ever going to have enough time for us
when she has that? So there are so many factors
And I don't like to pigeonhole and I don't have
checklists and I don't have any of that. It's kind
of you have to play it by year and see
(18:51):
see who this person really is and what they can
offer and what.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
We talked about younger, But you didn't talk about older
yet JP, I'm waiting.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
I mean, I think he said to his age, right,
how do you that's my age forty eight?
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Yeah, but would you date older?
Speaker 3 (19:05):
I don't know. Again, I think it's it's not a no. Look,
I don't I don't rule anything out because people are people.
I like if I'm exposed to an older woman and
we click, like sure, but there's not much much exposure
to it given I guess how I'm meeting people, and
(19:25):
you know, I'm not in a position where I'm meeting,
you know, a fifty five sixty year old woman. It
just doesn't happen. So am I opposed to it? I
don't like to say no, but you know, you never know.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
I guess I feel a little excited because I feel
like we've got a lot of listeners out there who
are looking for love.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Maybe there's also a lot of people too in the
you know, Miami Ish area.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
It's a disaster, really disaster.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
What makes it exact because I'm like, man, there's so
many people that go there that you could that well, let's.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
Just put it this way. It's the only fans capital
of the world. There's a lot of that around. Like
I'm not a Miami beach guy either. I'm in the suburbs.
I'm on the mainland, so I don't know. I feel
like there is a lot more. And I'm sure every
major city has this, but i just feel like there's
a lot more superficial bullsh to navigate in Miami. So
(20:22):
it's not as easy as one might think.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Okay, so let's get to the nitty gritty. We need
this info straight from a man. What gets you to
swipe right on someone's page?
Speaker 3 (20:35):
How am I supposed to make a decision based upon
five photos and a pr set up bio that like
is or is not how the person really is in
real life. For me, it's as long as obviously I'd
like to be attracted to or so some level of
attraction and something witty I'm swiping because again, and I'm
(21:00):
sure you've heard this before, it's kind of all about
the numbers, Right, You're gonna swipe thirty times, and how
many times are you really going to match? And so
if there's something there that's intriguing and and that just
you know, I don't have like a formula. If I'm
attracted and they say something kind of funny and you know,
(21:21):
it gives.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
You what gives you the ick? On dating apps.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
Do so so on dating apps.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Like that they that they would do in their profile,
Like for me, I if a guy had a mirror
selfie and like you're out, like no mirror selfies we
or selfies you do you.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
Look back ass shot in a bikini? Like no, stop
like stop.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Wait you don't want any ass photos?
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Well not like if not if that's how you're attracting men,
like of course you're gonna get a million swipes, right,
Like I'm not like that is it nice eventually? Sure,
but like that's not that's that's not gonna cause me.
It doesn't give me the ick, but it's like you're gone.
You're gone, You're gone because they're looking for.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Also adat to you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (22:03):
Like that right all that, Yeah, you know there are
people that and again I don't know if these are
fake bios or not, but they'll be like, you know,
not vaccinated, Like.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
Why are like is that important today? Like why is
that so important that you're limited space in your bio?
Speaker 2 (22:21):
You're gonna put not vaccinated a lot like a warning.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
It does like you're you're you're ruling out a whole
lot of people on one thing, and is it really
that important to you today? I don't know. There are
little trigger things. I'm not a political guy, but you know,
no trumpers like okay, like is that that important to you?
Or you're not going to meet someone so they are.
(22:48):
I guess I just want to meet cool people that
I click with and we get along and you know
that at the end of the day we make each
other laugh. I can see being their best friend and
you know we're in it for the long All that
stuff matters. But does it do?
Speaker 1 (23:04):
You said?
Speaker 3 (23:05):
No?
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Ask pictures? What kind of pictures make you swipe? I
got I really need to give our listen. Yes, let's
see it. Let's see who's in your feed? Am I
using the right terminology because I've never been on an app.
I'm trying to see it, that's right, because is it
a feed?
Speaker 3 (23:20):
I'm trying to see if there's an obvious of course,
I'm not going to come up with any I'm trying
to see if there's an obvious one where it was like,
this is what I'm talking about. This is what you
get A lot of.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
You're likes you? Yeah, who's liking you? Do you liking.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
I'm curious with being on the apps too, because I
when I thought about doing Hinge for a second because
it seems, you know, kind of cool or whatever. But
uh and I really was did not like Riya. But
is it hard for you when the people recognize you?
Do you have anything about Bachelor on yours?
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Okay, I would hope that, I mean, but like yeah,
but like do you do you like it when people
don't know who you are?
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Yeah? Like the anonymity, yeah yeah, and the kind of
like yeah, because they've already got something in their brain
as far as like who I am. And yes, but
it's been so long now, I mean we're talking fourteen
years ago, so people either forgot like oh you look
so familiar, but it doesn't get there.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Certainly thirty year olds probably wouldn't know. The forty year
olds know.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
Yeah, yeah, true, true. So it happens.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
Have you let anybody like flip out and be like,
oh my god, I met you that then they finally
meet you and like you're on the Bachelor.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
No, I haven't had that happen. I mean I've had
a couple where they didn't know and then after like
the second or third date, they're like, oh, what's your Instagram?
Was like mmmm, okay, and then they're like wait a second,
and then it clicks and it's kind of it's a
funny conversation, but it's never it's never in the way,
and it's never in your face, and it's never you know,
(24:58):
anyone crazy about it. It's kind of like, Oh, that's
a fun story, and you move on.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Show us your app.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Jenny's living vicariously through you.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
I want to see. I want to know what what
it is you're swiping on.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
Oh, you want to see my matches.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Everybody's listening. They want to know, like, how could I
match with something like JP.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
If you live in the Florida Miami area.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
Yeah, let me see.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
I feel like if I ask you a question, it's
going to distract you. So I'm trying to just give
you know.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
I'm like, I'm holding my question.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
I haven't spoken to her, but this is someone where
the pictures were not Miami, right, there was like normal
pictures in the wild, like kind of like this is
terrible word to use, but normal, right. So I don't
like sunglass pictures because I think that's kind of a
cop out.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
But don't wear sunglasses. You guys, okay, don't wear sunglasses.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Yeah, just like she's adventurous. Oh that's yeah, she's beautiful, normal.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
Pretty like bikini in your face.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
He with a bikini shot.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Like there and she's out of nature.
Speaker 3 (26:01):
But Miami, I mean you will see. I mean it is.
It is.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
It's like the bathing suit capital of the world.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
It's absurd.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
I've just titled it. Yeah, yeah, sounds out buns out.
I get it.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
So I have to take breaks from the apps too,
just because.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
It affects your mental health. I really does, Yes, I
one thousand percent. I talked to a girlfriend who's on
the apps and she's and I remember what it does.
It affects you, know, your your mood and has to
pass out. Does it make you feel like, oh I'm
not good enough or no, It's just it's kind of
an endless pit of just yeah out, like I can't
(26:42):
even know. I mean, it's just that that aren't your person,
and so it kind of gets defeating and yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
You feel yeah, agreed. I mean you know, I'll swipe
and swipe and then like twenty minutes ago by I'm like,
what am I doing? Like I just like I got
to get my brain a break, and you know it's
I don't know how successful they really are and define
success from it, but like it's you know, they're just
seemingly an endless supply and nobody cares, and like it
(27:11):
certainly is a self esteem killer.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
You know, what's your like first date? When you do
find a match and you set up that first encounter,
what is it? Is it a coffee date? Are you
going out to get a drink?
Speaker 3 (27:28):
It depends, Like I've had so I don't want to
waste anyone's time, their time, my time, you know. I
think that if you're if there's witty banter and you're talking,
you're texting, and you meet up for the first time.
I don't really drink these days, so going for a
drink is not ideal. But coffee or a walk on
the beach or grab a smoothie, or it's something where
(27:50):
it's enough time to get to know them. But you know,
you're not stuck three three hours on a dinner date
with someone that you don't really know if you want
to be around, I think you can tell a lot.
You know, you can certainly gauge in that first hour,
no matter what you're doing whether you want to spend
more time with this person. I'm not saying they have
to be the one, but like, oh that was cool,
(28:11):
she's fun. I'd see her again, you know. So it varies,
but simple coffee smoothie walks just.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
To like test the water, yeah, and find out if
there's an attraction there at all, like in person. Because
have you ever gone and met somebody and they look
entirely different than their pictures?
Speaker 3 (28:28):
That's never happened.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Okay, good.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
I have never been catfished. I have had a couple
where I was like, oh, you know, let's let's go
grab a coffee. Like I don't do coffee, but you
can take me for dinner. I'm like you like you.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
Like no, So if they want you to buy them dinner,
they're out.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
It wasn't like why don't we go for dinner? It
was like buy me dinner? And I was like, look,
I I would like, I'm not going to let you pay,
but how do you where do you how do you
have the balls to say that to somebody? We're like
I'm not going to meet you coffee, but you can
buy me dinner.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Like now, well, maybe she doesn't like coffee. First of all,
and maybe she knows her worth and she's like, I'm
worth more than.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
I would also say if she ended it with a winky,
I would say that like my personalities like I don't
I actually don't drink coffee, but I'll take dinner if
you winky like that.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
So that's it's different. And personality is very hard to
gauge in a text unless you're over emoji, right, So
this was not There was no winki, no smiley face,
none of that. It was like I received it as
that serious, like I don't do coffee, but you can
buy me dinner. That's how I share.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
So it's interesting all for self worth, Yeah, but like.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
This is these are two people here, like we're we're
in this together, and I'm not saying you're worth any
less because I don't want to commit to three hours
with somebody I don't know that, we don't even know
if we're gonna like each other, Like why would you
want to do that? So once we know that there's
something there, like I will make it known how what
you're worth, like like I will recognize your worth. But
(30:07):
I don't agree with the self worth analysis off of
the first date. Like the first encounter.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Do you want to get married again?
Speaker 3 (30:27):
So I would? I don't have to. I want everything
that comes with it, the legal side of it. If
she does, great, if she doesn't, great. I want the partnership,
the friendship, the love, the you know, I want everything
that comes along with it. But it doesn't have to
be legally bound.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
From all the things that you've listened podcast wise and
read books on that, you've learned from your previous relationship,
what would make you be like I would be a
good husband because I'm you know, great at this, Like
that you've learned that maybe you weren't the best with Ashley.
Speaker 3 (31:07):
I am. It's a good one. I was not the
best listener. I was not the best. Not only was
I not the best listener, but I would also judge
based upon somebody else's perspective that wasn't my own, Like no,
(31:27):
you're going wrong, Like how do you not see it
my way? I have done a complete one ad on that,
so I know when to listen. I know when to
shut up. I know when to you know, I know
when to when when my advice is desired. You know,
I've dated a woman where she just wanted to vent
(31:49):
and like it took me a while to understand, like
she didn't want me to try and fix it, but
I was able to communicate to get to the point
to know what she really wanted for me. So I
think my communication and listening has gotten night and day better.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
You know, that's good. That's good. That's such an important
quality because a lot of them think that. A lot
of men think they want me to fix it, and
then you get frustrated and then you get angry, and
you know, it just is this unhealthy cycle.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
And I used to be like that, I can fix it.
I can fix it, and that's not necessarily what needs
to happen.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
So so you've learned to be a better listener.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
I've learned to be a better I love that listener. Yeah,
that's great, and that's an amazing quality in a man.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
So you do you think chivalry is dead? Are you
a chivalrous guy?
Speaker 3 (32:37):
Totally open doors? And you know, like I am all
about manners and it's how I was raised, you know,
I think, And I think it's about how you pass
it on to your kids too, so it but for
me it's not. I mean, I'm all about that.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
So do you have a a a timeline of when
you would introduce something like have you ever introduced someone
to the kids, and then what would that timeline be, Yeah,
I haven't.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
I haven't yet.
Speaker 4 (33:07):
You know.
Speaker 3 (33:07):
Initially I was like, no, you know, no one's meeting
my kids unless this is going somewhere and this is serious.
And so for a few years it was like, well,
they haven't met anybody, And I think it's important. You know,
I'm glad that Ashley's in a relationship where the kids
see her, you know, social with a partner, and I
think that's important for the kids. But I do think
(33:27):
it's important for them to see that I am happy
that you know that I can't that that I date.
I'm more open to having them meet someone earlier now
than I was years ago, because I think it's important
for them to see that it doesn't necessarily have to
be this is my girlfriend. It could meet a friend
at the park and she just happens to be there
(33:49):
and they go, oh, this is my friend, so and so.
So I am more open to it these days than
I have ever been. I was pretty guarded, and you know,
I wanted to shield them from it, and so I
feel differently today than I did back then makes.
Speaker 1 (34:06):
Sense, But can we get a specific again for a second.
I want people to really understand what a guy is
looking for, Like you like, what a guy like you
was really looking for? What?
Speaker 2 (34:18):
Like?
Speaker 1 (34:18):
What what does she look like? What are you attracted
to physically?
Speaker 3 (34:23):
I have dated the spectrum, so I honestly, at this
stage of my life like the attraction comes with the personality.
So you know, just because twenty years ago maybe I
had a type.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
Yeah, you don't have a type anymore.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
I really don't. I really have dated the spectrum, ethnicities, heights,
I mean, you name it, like, I've dated the spectrum.
And I'm big on personality. I like when there's banther.
I like when there's sarcasm. I like that we you
know that she can make fun of me and I
can make fun of her, and you just kind of
keep going. And you know, I like when you can
(35:03):
tell that somebody is engaged in a conversation and wants
to know more about you and asking questions and so
I try to skip precipitate and do the same. And
so I'm looking for that flow.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
And yeah, emotional intelligence sounds important.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
Yeah, I mean, look, I yes, I have to be
physically attracted to them, but that also can evolve too,
you know, because in twenty years from now, like that's
all gone for both of us, and it's like, you know,
we're left with the other person. And I think the
way you communicate and the way you.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
You make that sound so awful. I'm just gonna say
what you said twenty years ago. Face in twenty years
it's all gone and just.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Five years old. And I don't look the way that
I look right now, and I guess she doesn't look
the way she looks right now, like you know.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Sorry, No, I'm married to a younger man, so I get.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
I'm just saying, Look, so it was a terrible way
of paying play. It looks fade, like you know, and
the attraction just comes on many levels. So I'm I'm
attracted to the personality type and that's that's what I'm
looking for.
Speaker 1 (36:16):
That sounds very mature, you very evolved. I know when
I got divorced. I don't know, Jane if this happened
to you, but one of the times I got divorced,
I started dating all different types of guys like short, tall, big, little,
like it was people were so confused. It was like
(36:36):
whiplash because each one was so different than the next one.
But I had to do that because I didn't I
didn't know. I didn't know. And I also was like,
you know what, their body doesn't really matter to me.
It's what's inside and what's what that connection is that
stimulates me. So yeah, I hear you.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
I agree. I mean, look, I ultimately like, yes, you
want them to take care of themselves and like make
an effort and you know, be active, because that's what
I want to do. And so your your interests also
need to align and lifestyle, right, thank you, That's what
I meant to say. So that's all important. But I
(37:17):
am I am so tired of all the noise that
is out there with regards to like, you know, red
flags and like like they didn't respond to via text,
and like I can't overanalyze anymore. I can't overthink. I
can't I can't do any of that. I can't handle.
Oh my god, there's too much out there, and so
(37:40):
and it creates a sense of me not being me,
and so I've I'm back to just really me being me,
and I know what clicks and what works and feels
good and and I'm just going to focus.
Speaker 2 (37:51):
On that love that. How is your health too, is
it something where does that syndrome? Does it ever come back?
Or is it.
Speaker 3 (37:59):
A one time Yes, so there is a chronic condition
that you can get. I don't have that, So for me,
it was a one time thing in like two hundred
thousand people get it or something like that. So I've
had no you know, ever since I learned how to
walk in button buttons again, and I've been fine.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
That's like terrible.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
Yeah, I heard you mention something about alcohol too, as
your relationship changed with that.
Speaker 3 (38:25):
I mean I was never a big drinker to begin with,
but I had dated someone for four or five months
where she was sober for five years, and so whenever
we hung out and went out like, we never drank.
And then I was like, holy, like I feel great,
Like I don't need this to connect with anybody. I
don't need this to have fun. And I wake up
(38:45):
the next morning after a great night's sleep and I
feel fantastic. I was like, wow, like what do I
really want this for? So from that point I just
really stopped.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
Yeah, I mean agree, I'm the same way. I rarely
drink now just because I don't want to feel like
crap the next day, and it's it doesn't just it's
not just one day. It lingers on for for weeks,
you know. So I'm just like, what for what reason?
And I've got a little so I'm just like, I
don't want to be tired. No, But I feel like
there is more conversations about alcohol. I don't know if
it's just us in our forties, you know, and plus
(39:18):
but or if it's but I feel like I've heard
that it's that's dropping a little bit too.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
Definitely, definitely.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Oh I'm forty. I'm gonna be forty two in December.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
Every birthday. Wait, okay, so if the opportunity came around,
would you be open to finding love or even getting
married in your case on TV, like if.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
They did like a forty like if they did like
a golden because.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
We're gold gold sparkling, sparkling.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
You guys are shimmering, okay, a shimmering bachelor in paradise.
Would you do it?
Speaker 3 (39:56):
So I never say no, right, I don't want to
closed doors. But I'm in the stage of my life
where I have kids to think about, I have a career,
like I can't put any of that on told to
go on a reality show, right, so I never say no,
But I think odds are low slim. You know, I'm
(40:19):
I'm about I'm all about opening doors and never know
unless you do it. You know, you don't know. I
don't know, but there are there are different factors at
play today than there were when I went on the show,
you know, fourteen years ago or whatever it's been. So
never say never, never, I've got other priorities right now.
Speaker 1 (40:39):
This is so exciting because if someone is listening right
now and they're and they're maybe interested, what, how could
could they slide into your DMS? Do you do that?
Speaker 3 (40:49):
It's happened, you know it's happened. But if look this
is the silliest cliche, but like I, you got to
shoot your shot, right, even if you get shot down.
So if there's no other way that we're ever going
to meet other than doing that, I would say, yeah,
do it now? You know, am I going to answer?
(41:10):
Am I going to be open to it? Are you get?
Speaker 4 (41:12):
Like?
Speaker 3 (41:12):
I don't know? But uh, you know, I would say,
you've got to create opportunity if none exists, so go
for it.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
So there's that everyone JP Rosenbaum. I mean DM I'm
on Instagram. Give him a slide in its forty eight
years old, lives in Miami, Florida, real estate developer, father
of two, So like, let's let's look our friend up here.
Speaker 3 (41:32):
I'm not flying on that, but thank you.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
We'll see what we can do it.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
I love matchmaking, so I'm going to really keep my
mind open.
Speaker 3 (41:44):
Yeah, you're out in LA though, so right yeah, right,
and you're in you're still in natural right.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Yeah, yep.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
There's this is a thing called airplanes.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
So I've heard of that.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
There is, I've heard it.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
I think, what do you think about a long distance relationship?
Would do that? Would you be open to it?
Speaker 3 (42:01):
I think there has to be an endgame, right, I
think to just do that indefinitely, And like Johanna said earlier,
like you live here, if no one's moving but no
potential for us to live together, that's that's hard to do.
I don't want to waste time on.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
That, right Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
So yeah, well we have to say goodbye. Oh but
this has been fun and really interesting to get inside
at the head of a single man in his boardies
what he's looking for. So thank you.
Speaker 2 (42:30):
Yeah, and you're doing the work and doing awesome and
you know, like you're a great dad and though just
you deserve a great love within all of that.
Speaker 3 (42:38):
Thank you, so thanks for having me on guys. I
appreciate it. Thanks. Thanks.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
JP so sweet, he's really sweet. Do you have someone
you think would make a great fit for JP? Are
you interested in JP? We'll shoot your shot, Email us
or call us. All the infos in the show notes
and we're going to put some info about JP up
on our socials. Follow us on socials, make sure to
rate and a review the podcast I Do Part two
an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective.
Hello, it's I Do Part two. I'm Jenny Garth that
I'm here with the beautiful, lovely Janna Kramer.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
My friend.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
He This is gonna be a fun chat because we
have a newly I think not so newly, but a
single man a coming on and we are going to
just get to the bottom of what it's like to
be a single guy.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Yeah, because we always hear a lot from the single
women m M exactly, so it'll be nice to hear
from him and what, you know, how things have been going,
from his divorce and everything that he's been going through.
So it's a little a man's perspective, because.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
A man's perspective. We need it because I don't know.
I certainly don't know what a man's looking for out there,
and I'm sure a lot of women can relate if
you're not out there, you know, dating and going through
the apps and all that stuff. I'm so curious. Yeah, absolutely,
let's bring him in. Okay, let's do it today. We're
going to chat with someone who is in their own
I Do Part two era. You got to know this
(01:13):
guy back on Season seven of the Bachelorette when he
proposed to and married Ashley but like most of us
on this podcast, he got divorced a few years ago,
and we're going to catch up with him and hear
what's going on. Please welcome JP Rosenbaum Podcast. Hey, hey, okay,
(01:34):
let's give our listeners a little background, if he would,
in case they aren't huge Bachelor Nation fans and they
live under a rock like me. You were a contestant
on Ashley's season of The Bachelorette. Tell us a little
bit about how long you guys were married and your
sort of family as it turned out.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Sure, so we met in twenty eleven on the show.
We got married end of twenty twelve. We were married
for about seven and a half years, happily had two
kids who are now ten and a half and eight
and a half.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Yeah, we were living up in Jersey for a little bit,
in New York for a little bit, moved down to
Miami in the summer of twenty fourteen. And then I'm
going to skip over a few years, but about about
two weeks before COVID hit, we decided to get divorced.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
So, oh wow.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
February of twenty twenty. Is that about right? It's all a.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Blurb, but yeah, what happened for COVID. Then if you guys,
right before COVID you decided, did you guys separate and
have two houses?
Speaker 3 (02:41):
That kind of thing. So that was the tricky thing, right,
So the kids were coming back from school, how are
we going to sell the house? There were all these things,
all these unknown questions that we just kind of had
to navigate. So no, I ended up moving into the
guest room for six months on a place. We sold
(03:01):
the house, I moved out, I found a place, and so,
you know, it was it was an interesting year.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
But that was before because you guys, didn't you do
a GMA about your I don't want to mispronounce the Giambret. Yeah,
that was that was before so then because I'm like,
you guys were still technically married at that point, right,
because it was did you guys get back together or
what was that?
Speaker 3 (03:29):
So that was right before. So I we were away
for our anniversary in December that in nineteen when I
had gotten sick, and so you know, it was obviously
it was downward spiraling, but before that, but so I
got sick and then two months later, three months later,
(03:51):
we decided to get divorce. So it was it was
a rough year, Like my mom was diagnosed with cancer,
I had Giambaret, Like we decided to get divorced. It
was a rough couple of years.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
So what do you think, because Johnny and I were
just talking about this, what do you think was the
hardest year of marriage for you? Obviously the end was hard,
but like when you can kind of look back, was like,
was it the first year? Was it the second year?
Like what was what was the hardest that you're like,
this is maybe you.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Know, yeah, I think twenty nineteen, you know, the last
year just because of everything that was going on in
our lives. You know, we we were happy, but you know,
kids came around and made things more difficult and we
stopped talking, we stopped communicating, and that permeated every aspect
(04:37):
of the marriage. And so, you know, the last year
with with my mom, with my illness, then deciding to
get divorced, it was and then and then COVID it
was all. The last year to two was certainly the hardest,
just because of the you know, the special circumstances of
those two years.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Yeah, it's interesting too because you say the seven and
a half, it's like that seven year itch that like
that statistic. I don't even know what the statistic is
around it. I was just going to google it. But
so many people it's like, all right, that's where it's
the breaking point of their communication or the breaking point
of what things are. It's like that, it's interesting.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Wow, we've heard about that recently really.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Like, of course, why did you guys stop talking? Like,
what do you think from your perspective, was the initial
like the communication breakdown? Why does that happen?
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Yeah, that is very I have so much perspective now.
You know, in the moment, you don't know why. You know,
you just know that things are not working. You know
that you start resenting each other and you start just
just everything just starts breaking down. So, now that I've
had time to reflect and heal, and you know, I've
(05:55):
done my own self healing and certainly spoken to therapist
and read a lot and way too many podcasts and
gone down the Instagram rabbit holes, I think that, you know,
the the baseline of it all is that we are
very different people. We have very different perspectives on life
(06:19):
and so many aspects of life. We have different love languages,
we have different just we are just very different and
that doesn't really mesh. And when you start butting heads
on those things that don't mesh, it becomes very frustrating
and you don't know how to get past it, even
(06:40):
if you're supposed to get past it, like you don't
know how to process it. You don't know how to
accept the other person's perspective, you don't how to understand
the other person's perspective, and you just start butting heads
and it becomes like, oh, here we go again, and
we're not going to get anywhere, and you know and yeah,
and it just goes around and round and round. And
unless you are both the types of people that understand
(07:04):
what's going on, understand the problems, are motivated to fix
the problems, I think it can just spiral out of control.
Then it becomes like I don't really care what you
have to say because I know what you're going to
say anyway, and I don't want to understand it because
you don't understand me, and it just spirals into every
aspect of the marriage.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
What I find so interesting about that, though, is even
when you go into the next relationship, you have to
still I mean, yeah, you know more things, you know
more tools, and you know, you hopefully do the work individually,
but then when you go into a new relationship too.
I mean, just like we were talking about with you know,
our husbands, it's like, you know, you still there's still
things that come up. So it's like, what work are
(07:46):
you going to put into to help with the communication,
right because our styles are so different or we're both
so stubborn and to go all right? Because the love
is still there. So I wonder when you look back
and go, now that I know all this, you know,
do you think you guys have because to my knowledge,
I don't remember there ever being some big scandal like that,
namely cheated or there was like something really bad. So
(08:06):
it's like, is the love still there? Would that have
been maybe fixed?
Speaker 3 (08:10):
That's such a hard question to answer because at the
core of it, like I said, we're just different and
I don't know, you know, if if the me of
today were the me of ten years ago, would it
be different? Would she see things differently? Would I react differently?
Like that is an endless thought cycle that I stopped
(08:32):
thinking about years ago because there I hate not having
an answer something that can't be answered, right, can't answer that,
Like I definitely would have been more prepared to deal
with it, and I certainly would have done more on
my end, knowing what I know now, But would it
have changed any result? I have no idea. You know,
(08:57):
that's a tough one to answer.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
How are you guys doing now? Your co parenting, which
is a whole another type of relationship. I think Jane
and I both know a lot about that, and it's
not easy. It's not easy. How are you guys doing today?
And how are you handling co parenting? And what would
you tell somebody out there who's listening, who's in your
position and trying to co parent with somebody that is
(09:22):
very different than they are.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Yeah, we're actually in a really great place right now,
really great, And I will admit it took me a
long time to get there.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Like how long?
Speaker 2 (09:35):
What was taking you so long to get there?
Speaker 1 (09:37):
We have questions about what was it? How long?
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Yeah? Yeah, I was in a definitive like funk where
it's like I'm mad, I resent.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Her, like a defensive stance, all of.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
It, all of yeah, and even things where I didn't
need to say no to her on I would do
it by like I was in a really bad place.
She started dating something someone that got you know, that
made things even worse, And so I had my own
going on, and so it was very difficult for me
to get to that next place where I don't want
(10:15):
to speak for her, but she was seemingly there much
quicker than I was, And so I would say it
took me a good at least two years. I mean
at least, you know, even when it came to dating.
But that's a whole, other, whole other discussion. So it
took me a few years to get there. And you know,
(10:36):
now we are at a place where I harbor no
anxiety for it, no resentment. I'm not mad, I am
I'm in a I'm in I'm in a really great place.
When it comes to her and.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
She and I, do you think, what do you think
it was though that made you be able to switch
to this.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
You turn the anger off? I guess yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
I mean, look, I have, like, I've done a lot
of healing, right, I've spoken to therapists, I have read,
I have listened to podcasts, I have reflected I have
you know, I've changed my perception of it all and
what everything that I'm holding onto, what is it is?
Any of it really hurt or is it all just me?
(11:19):
And unless I learned to let go of all that,
I'm never going to feel any better. And so it
wasn't as if I woke up one morning and I
was like, oh, I'm all better. You know. It was
definitely the biggest cliche of them all time, like but time.
You know, Yeah, I wish I could go back and
tell me of three years ago, like, look, look where
you are in three years from now. There is a
(11:40):
light at the end of the tunnel, Like you don't
need to feel all this and just know that it
will get better.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
So, yeah, I just have to go through it. You
have to, you have to wage your way through it.
But I think everybody's different.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Yeah, And I think it's hard when there is someone
else too, like another man around your kids, and you know,
I'm it's hard for the woman too, and there's another
woman around the kids, and so I think that adds
a whole other element. But then when you start to
separate and go okay as long as they're loved, but
if there's issues within that, then it just adds more complication.
Speaker 3 (12:11):
Yeah. I remember when they first started dating, I was like,
I don't want him to come to any baseball games.
I don't like no, no, no, no, no, ye, I
will make a scene like I was. It was ridiculous,
you know. Now, like they've been together for for a
while and he's you know, the kids love him and
his family's nice to the kids, and like it's a
it's a good dynamic. So but but two three years ago, man,
(12:32):
like no, I was you Yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
I think that's a great place to be to be
because it's like I have, you know, I know also
that feeling of just being so angry. But then and
another friend too that's dealing with it as well. That's
like what is that actually doing for us? Like that's
not good for us. And there's no anything that I
say to my act isn't going to change. He's not
going to ever. He didn't understand me when we were married.
It's not he's gonna understand me now post divorce, you know.
(12:58):
So it's it's like, what why am I wasting my
energy on something where it's like what is the point?
Speaker 4 (13:04):
Right?
Speaker 3 (13:04):
No, I totally agree, Like I've explained it to some
people who are like that, you know, the triggers are
still there. She's still her I just give less of
a now, and you know, and that's not going to change.
So I just have to change. I just have to
think about it differently and process it differently, and I
can only control how I react, you know.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
So I like to do a lot of unsent messages
and emails, Like I just wrote one the other day
where it was just an email. I end up not
sending it, but I needed to just say it out
loud because I know that what if I pressed and
he wouldn't care what I said, right, it doesn't it
doesn't matter, but it mattered to me to get it out.
Wait can you wait?
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Can you unsend emails?
Speaker 2 (13:40):
I'm so curious what I'm saying, like, so I don't
actually press that. I just kind of write like a note,
you know. I wish I could actually it's like a
five appreciate Yeah, but that's these are we're talking years ago.
I'd like to get rid of that evidence of anger.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
No, I think you're screwed.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Thanks thanks a lot. Speaking of screw do are you
dating anyone?
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Thank you? No? No, I I.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
You know there was a pause because it's a no no.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
It's like I'm the team, but it's not there's no
one serious. You know, I'm going through the motions of dating.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Okay, wait, so this is exciting. You're dating? Are you
on any apps?
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Because I have to be Yeah, but which apps are
you on? I'm curious?
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Why are you getting red?
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Because it sucks, like I feel, I.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Just every guy says this, by the way, it does. Yeah,
really do you prefer hinge to bumble or bumble the hinge?
Speaker 3 (14:39):
I'm indifferent. I don't care. I think they are equally triggering.
They trap you, Like it's like nobody's serious. You know,
there's fake profiles, like everyone really endless options, so like
no one really pays attention. So you kind of got
to sift through the haystack to find the needle. And
(15:00):
you know, every once in a while you meet someone
that that that you know makes sense and then you
can date. It is it's exhausting and it sucks. And
not being from South Florida, from Miami, I don't exactly
have a huge network and the age of at I
don't exactly have a new huge network of friends and
single friends. I want to set me up with friends
(15:22):
and it's not like I'm going out to bars. I'm
not you know, meeting people organically. I would love to
do that.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Well, it's also you're kind of limited to It's not
like you can move, right, So it's like I always
when I started dating Alan, it's like I he lived
in England, Like I can't move. I have to stay
in Nashville. So that was kind of where when I was,
you know, dating, it's like it if it doesn't make sense,
like why continue on? You know, because it's like if
this person is landlocked there and I'm landlocked here, what
is actually the point?
Speaker 3 (15:47):
Right? Totally?
Speaker 2 (15:48):
You know, So it's like when you're on there, it's
like how you know, it's like you obviously wouldn't move
from your kids there at a beautiful fun age, like
you wouldn't move.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
Yeah, not until college.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Right, that's a while. That's a while.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
How old are the kids?
Speaker 3 (16:02):
Ten and a half and eight and a half?
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Yeah, yeah, you're stuck there for a while. So you
don't have a lot of friends that are setting you up,
so talk to us. I don't know, Jane, have you
ever been on a dating app?
Speaker 2 (16:13):
I was on Riyah. You're on Riah Okay, yeah, but
that app was ridiculous, ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
It was just a funny Riya story. My ex husband,
Peter uh Was, I was told was on Ria and
his age whatever range that he was looking for was
also the age range of his oldest daughter. So she
they came, she came across him on her thing. Stop. Yeah, no, okay,
(16:50):
So what's your what's your age limit? I don't know
how it.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Works, so I'm pretty be honest.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
After that story, you can ask me anything.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
I'm an open book. I'm thirty two to my age
I'm forty eight, so I'm all over the place, but
only because it's a needle in a haystack. And you know, technically,
if you make the haystack bigger than needles.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Do you believe the age is just a number? Do
you date older women? These are two questions.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Let's attack the first one. So it depends where you
are in life, right. I think that you can certainly
fall in love with with with a woman that's you know,
significantly younger. But you know, if she hasn't been through
a lot from a relationship standpoint, if she wants a family,
if she doesn't have her career is not getting going yet,
(17:46):
like there's there. It depends where you are, Like the
timing has to be right, and then age is but
a number if that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Would you like the person to be a mom or
does that not?
Speaker 3 (17:58):
I think it helps, but it's not a prerequisite. Like
I think it helps.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
What have you met somebody that had like five kids?
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Do I have to support them? Because if I have
to support them, then it's probably a hard no. But
it depends on the dynamic too. Right is she a
full time mom? Does she has the all five kids
the entire time? Is it fifty to fifty? So there
are so many factors, Like I don't want to rule
people out, but that's I mean a single moms are
(18:28):
the hardest working people I know. And so if the
father's not in the picture and she doesn't have help,
like that's hard to navigate, right, you know, Like how
is she ever going to have enough time for us
when she has that? So there are so many factors
And I don't like to pigeonhole and I don't have
checklists and I don't have any of that. It's kind
of you have to play it by year and see
(18:51):
see who this person really is and what they can
offer and what.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
We talked about younger, But you didn't talk about older
yet JP, I'm waiting.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
I mean, I think he said to his age, right,
how do you that's my age forty eight?
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Yeah, but would you date older?
Speaker 3 (19:05):
I don't know. Again, I think it's it's not a no. Look,
I don't I don't rule anything out because people are people.
I like if I'm exposed to an older woman and
we click, like sure, but there's not much much exposure
to it given I guess how I'm meeting people, and
(19:25):
you know, I'm not in a position where I'm meeting,
you know, a fifty five sixty year old woman. It
just doesn't happen. So am I opposed to it? I
don't like to say no, but you know, you never know.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
I guess I feel a little excited because I feel
like we've got a lot of listeners out there who
are looking for love.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Maybe there's also a lot of people too in the
you know, Miami Ish area.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
It's a disaster, really disaster.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
What makes it exact because I'm like, man, there's so
many people that go there that you could that well, let's.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
Just put it this way. It's the only fans capital
of the world. There's a lot of that around. Like
I'm not a Miami beach guy either. I'm in the suburbs.
I'm on the mainland, so I don't know. I feel
like there is a lot more. And I'm sure every
major city has this, but i just feel like there's
a lot more superficial bullsh to navigate in Miami. So
(20:22):
it's not as easy as one might think.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Okay, so let's get to the nitty gritty. We need
this info straight from a man. What gets you to
swipe right on someone's page?
Speaker 3 (20:35):
How am I supposed to make a decision based upon
five photos and a pr set up bio that like
is or is not how the person really is in
real life. For me, it's as long as obviously I'd
like to be attracted to or so some level of
attraction and something witty I'm swiping because again, and I'm
(21:00):
sure you've heard this before, it's kind of all about
the numbers, Right, You're gonna swipe thirty times, and how
many times are you really going to match? And so
if there's something there that's intriguing and and that just
you know, I don't have like a formula. If I'm
attracted and they say something kind of funny and you know,
(21:21):
it gives.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
You what gives you the ick? On dating apps.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
Do so so on dating apps.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Like that they that they would do in their profile,
Like for me, I if a guy had a mirror
selfie and like you're out, like no mirror selfies we
or selfies you do you.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
Look back ass shot in a bikini? Like no, stop
like stop.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Wait you don't want any ass photos?
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Well not like if not if that's how you're attracting men,
like of course you're gonna get a million swipes, right,
Like I'm not like that is it nice eventually? Sure,
but like that's not that's that's not gonna cause me.
It doesn't give me the ick, but it's like you're gone.
You're gone, You're gone because they're looking for.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Also adat to you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (22:03):
Like that right all that, Yeah, you know there are
people that and again I don't know if these are
fake bios or not, but they'll be like, you know,
not vaccinated, Like.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
Why are like is that important today? Like why is
that so important that you're limited space in your bio?
Speaker 2 (22:21):
You're gonna put not vaccinated a lot like a warning.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
It does like you're you're you're ruling out a whole
lot of people on one thing, and is it really
that important to you today? I don't know. There are
little trigger things. I'm not a political guy, but you know,
no trumpers like okay, like is that that important to you?
Or you're not going to meet someone so they are.
(22:48):
I guess I just want to meet cool people that
I click with and we get along and you know
that at the end of the day we make each
other laugh. I can see being their best friend and
you know we're in it for the long All that
stuff matters. But does it do?
Speaker 1 (23:04):
You said?
Speaker 3 (23:05):
No?
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Ask pictures? What kind of pictures make you swipe? I
got I really need to give our listen. Yes, let's
see it. Let's see who's in your feed? Am I
using the right terminology because I've never been on an app.
I'm trying to see it, that's right, because is it
a feed?
Speaker 3 (23:20):
I'm trying to see if there's an obvious of course,
I'm not going to come up with any I'm trying
to see if there's an obvious one where it was like,
this is what I'm talking about. This is what you
get A lot of.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
You're likes you? Yeah, who's liking you? Do you liking.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
I'm curious with being on the apps too, because I
when I thought about doing Hinge for a second because
it seems, you know, kind of cool or whatever. But
uh and I really was did not like Riya. But
is it hard for you when the people recognize you?
Do you have anything about Bachelor on yours?
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Okay, I would hope that, I mean, but like yeah,
but like do you do you like it when people
don't know who you are?
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Yeah? Like the anonymity, yeah yeah, and the kind of
like yeah, because they've already got something in their brain
as far as like who I am. And yes, but
it's been so long now, I mean we're talking fourteen
years ago, so people either forgot like oh you look
so familiar, but it doesn't get there.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Certainly thirty year olds probably wouldn't know. The forty year
olds know.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
Yeah, yeah, true, true. So it happens.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
Have you let anybody like flip out and be like,
oh my god, I met you that then they finally
meet you and like you're on the Bachelor.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
No, I haven't had that happen. I mean I've had
a couple where they didn't know and then after like
the second or third date, they're like, oh, what's your Instagram?
Was like mmmm, okay, and then they're like wait a second,
and then it clicks and it's kind of it's a
funny conversation, but it's never it's never in the way,
and it's never in your face, and it's never you know,
(24:58):
anyone crazy about it. It's kind of like, Oh, that's
a fun story, and you move on.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Show us your app.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Jenny's living vicariously through you.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
I want to see. I want to know what what
it is you're swiping on.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
Oh, you want to see my matches.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Everybody's listening. They want to know, like, how could I
match with something like JP.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
If you live in the Florida Miami area.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
Yeah, let me see.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
I feel like if I ask you a question, it's
going to distract you. So I'm trying to just give
you know.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
I'm like, I'm holding my question.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
I haven't spoken to her, but this is someone where
the pictures were not Miami, right, there was like normal
pictures in the wild, like kind of like this is
terrible word to use, but normal, right. So I don't
like sunglass pictures because I think that's kind of a
cop out.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
But don't wear sunglasses. You guys, okay, don't wear sunglasses.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Yeah, just like she's adventurous. Oh that's yeah, she's beautiful, normal.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
Pretty like bikini in your face.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
He with a bikini shot.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Like there and she's out of nature.
Speaker 3 (26:01):
But Miami, I mean you will see. I mean it is.
It is.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
It's like the bathing suit capital of the world.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
It's absurd.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
I've just titled it. Yeah, yeah, sounds out buns out.
I get it.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
So I have to take breaks from the apps too,
just because.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
It affects your mental health. I really does, Yes, I
one thousand percent. I talked to a girlfriend who's on
the apps and she's and I remember what it does.
It affects you, know, your your mood and has to
pass out. Does it make you feel like, oh I'm
not good enough or no, It's just it's kind of
an endless pit of just yeah out, like I can't
(26:42):
even know. I mean, it's just that that aren't your person,
and so it kind of gets defeating and yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
You feel yeah, agreed. I mean you know, I'll swipe
and swipe and then like twenty minutes ago by I'm like,
what am I doing? Like I just like I got
to get my brain a break, and you know it's
I don't know how successful they really are and define
success from it, but like it's you know, they're just
seemingly an endless supply and nobody cares, and like it
(27:11):
certainly is a self esteem killer.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
You know, what's your like first date? When you do
find a match and you set up that first encounter,
what is it? Is it a coffee date? Are you
going out to get a drink?
Speaker 3 (27:28):
It depends, Like I've had so I don't want to
waste anyone's time, their time, my time, you know. I
think that if you're if there's witty banter and you're talking,
you're texting, and you meet up for the first time.
I don't really drink these days, so going for a
drink is not ideal. But coffee or a walk on
the beach or grab a smoothie, or it's something where
(27:50):
it's enough time to get to know them. But you know,
you're not stuck three three hours on a dinner date
with someone that you don't really know if you want
to be around, I think you can tell a lot.
You know, you can certainly gauge in that first hour,
no matter what you're doing whether you want to spend
more time with this person. I'm not saying they have
to be the one, but like, oh that was cool,
(28:11):
she's fun. I'd see her again, you know. So it varies,
but simple coffee smoothie walks just.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
To like test the water, yeah, and find out if
there's an attraction there at all, like in person. Because
have you ever gone and met somebody and they look
entirely different than their pictures?
Speaker 3 (28:28):
That's never happened.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Okay, good.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
I have never been catfished. I have had a couple
where I was like, oh, you know, let's let's go
grab a coffee. Like I don't do coffee, but you
can take me for dinner. I'm like you like you.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
Like no, So if they want you to buy them dinner,
they're out.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
It wasn't like why don't we go for dinner? It
was like buy me dinner? And I was like, look,
I I would like, I'm not going to let you pay,
but how do you where do you how do you
have the balls to say that to somebody? We're like
I'm not going to meet you coffee, but you can
buy me dinner.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Like now, well, maybe she doesn't like coffee. First of all,
and maybe she knows her worth and she's like, I'm
worth more than.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
I would also say if she ended it with a winky,
I would say that like my personalities like I don't
I actually don't drink coffee, but I'll take dinner if
you winky like that.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
So that's it's different. And personality is very hard to
gauge in a text unless you're over emoji, right, So
this was not There was no winki, no smiley face,
none of that. It was like I received it as
that serious, like I don't do coffee, but you can
buy me dinner. That's how I share.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
So it's interesting all for self worth, Yeah, but like.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
This is these are two people here, like we're we're
in this together, and I'm not saying you're worth any
less because I don't want to commit to three hours
with somebody I don't know that, we don't even know
if we're gonna like each other, Like why would you
want to do that? So once we know that there's
something there, like I will make it known how what
you're worth, like like I will recognize your worth. But
(30:07):
I don't agree with the self worth analysis off of
the first date. Like the first encounter.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Do you want to get married again?
Speaker 3 (30:27):
So I would? I don't have to. I want everything
that comes with it, the legal side of it. If
she does, great, if she doesn't, great. I want the partnership,
the friendship, the love, the you know, I want everything
that comes along with it. But it doesn't have to
be legally bound.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
From all the things that you've listened podcast wise and
read books on that, you've learned from your previous relationship,
what would make you be like I would be a
good husband because I'm you know, great at this, Like
that you've learned that maybe you weren't the best with Ashley.
Speaker 3 (31:07):
I am. It's a good one. I was not the
best listener. I was not the best. Not only was
I not the best listener, but I would also judge
based upon somebody else's perspective that wasn't my own, Like no,
(31:27):
you're going wrong, Like how do you not see it
my way? I have done a complete one ad on that,
so I know when to listen. I know when to
shut up. I know when to you know, I know
when to when when my advice is desired. You know,
I've dated a woman where she just wanted to vent
(31:49):
and like it took me a while to understand, like
she didn't want me to try and fix it, but
I was able to communicate to get to the point
to know what she really wanted for me. So I
think my communication and listening has gotten night and day better.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
You know, that's good. That's good. That's such an important
quality because a lot of them think that. A lot
of men think they want me to fix it, and
then you get frustrated and then you get angry, and
you know, it just is this unhealthy cycle.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
And I used to be like that, I can fix it.
I can fix it, and that's not necessarily what needs
to happen.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
So so you've learned to be a better listener.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
I've learned to be a better I love that listener. Yeah,
that's great, and that's an amazing quality in a man.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
So you do you think chivalry is dead? Are you
a chivalrous guy?
Speaker 3 (32:37):
Totally open doors? And you know, like I am all
about manners and it's how I was raised, you know,
I think, And I think it's about how you pass
it on to your kids too, so it but for
me it's not. I mean, I'm all about that.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
So do you have a a a timeline of when
you would introduce something like have you ever introduced someone
to the kids, and then what would that timeline be, Yeah,
I haven't.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
I haven't yet.
Speaker 4 (33:07):
You know.
Speaker 3 (33:07):
Initially I was like, no, you know, no one's meeting
my kids unless this is going somewhere and this is serious.
And so for a few years it was like, well,
they haven't met anybody, And I think it's important. You know,
I'm glad that Ashley's in a relationship where the kids
see her, you know, social with a partner, and I
think that's important for the kids. But I do think
(33:27):
it's important for them to see that I am happy
that you know that I can't that that I date.
I'm more open to having them meet someone earlier now
than I was years ago, because I think it's important
for them to see that it doesn't necessarily have to
be this is my girlfriend. It could meet a friend
at the park and she just happens to be there
(33:49):
and they go, oh, this is my friend, so and so.
So I am more open to it these days than
I have ever been. I was pretty guarded, and you know,
I wanted to shield them from it, and so I
feel differently today than I did back then makes.
Speaker 1 (34:06):
Sense, But can we get a specific again for a second.
I want people to really understand what a guy is
looking for, Like you like, what a guy like you
was really looking for? What?
Speaker 2 (34:18):
Like?
Speaker 1 (34:18):
What what does she look like? What are you attracted
to physically?
Speaker 3 (34:23):
I have dated the spectrum, so I honestly, at this
stage of my life like the attraction comes with the personality.
So you know, just because twenty years ago maybe I
had a type.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
Yeah, you don't have a type anymore.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
I really don't. I really have dated the spectrum, ethnicities, heights,
I mean, you name it, like, I've dated the spectrum.
And I'm big on personality. I like when there's banther.
I like when there's sarcasm. I like that we you
know that she can make fun of me and I
can make fun of her, and you just kind of
keep going. And you know, I like when you can
(35:03):
tell that somebody is engaged in a conversation and wants
to know more about you and asking questions and so
I try to skip precipitate and do the same. And
so I'm looking for that flow.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
And yeah, emotional intelligence sounds important.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
Yeah, I mean, look, I yes, I have to be
physically attracted to them, but that also can evolve too,
you know, because in twenty years from now, like that's
all gone for both of us, and it's like, you know,
we're left with the other person. And I think the
way you communicate and the way you.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
You make that sound so awful. I'm just gonna say
what you said twenty years ago. Face in twenty years
it's all gone and just.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Five years old. And I don't look the way that
I look right now, and I guess she doesn't look
the way she looks right now, like you know.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Sorry, No, I'm married to a younger man, so I get.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
I'm just saying, Look, so it was a terrible way
of paying play. It looks fade, like you know, and
the attraction just comes on many levels. So I'm I'm
attracted to the personality type and that's that's what I'm
looking for.
Speaker 1 (36:16):
That sounds very mature, you very evolved. I know when
I got divorced. I don't know, Jane if this happened
to you, but one of the times I got divorced,
I started dating all different types of guys like short, tall, big, little,
like it was people were so confused. It was like
(36:36):
whiplash because each one was so different than the next one.
But I had to do that because I didn't I
didn't know. I didn't know. And I also was like,
you know what, their body doesn't really matter to me.
It's what's inside and what's what that connection is that
stimulates me. So yeah, I hear you.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
I agree. I mean, look, I ultimately like, yes, you
want them to take care of themselves and like make
an effort and you know, be active, because that's what
I want to do. And so your your interests also
need to align and lifestyle, right, thank you, That's what
I meant to say. So that's all important. But I
(37:17):
am I am so tired of all the noise that
is out there with regards to like, you know, red
flags and like like they didn't respond to via text,
and like I can't overanalyze anymore. I can't overthink. I
can't I can't do any of that. I can't handle.
Oh my god, there's too much out there, and so
(37:40):
and it creates a sense of me not being me,
and so I've I'm back to just really me being me,
and I know what clicks and what works and feels
good and and I'm just going to focus.
Speaker 2 (37:51):
On that love that. How is your health too, is
it something where does that syndrome? Does it ever come back?
Or is it.
Speaker 3 (37:59):
A one time Yes, so there is a chronic condition
that you can get. I don't have that, So for me,
it was a one time thing in like two hundred
thousand people get it or something like that. So I've
had no you know, ever since I learned how to
walk in button buttons again, and I've been fine.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
That's like terrible.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
Yeah, I heard you mention something about alcohol too, as
your relationship changed with that.
Speaker 3 (38:25):
I mean I was never a big drinker to begin with,
but I had dated someone for four or five months
where she was sober for five years, and so whenever
we hung out and went out like, we never drank.
And then I was like, holy, like I feel great,
Like I don't need this to connect with anybody. I
don't need this to have fun. And I wake up
(38:45):
the next morning after a great night's sleep and I
feel fantastic. I was like, wow, like what do I
really want this for? So from that point I just
really stopped.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
Yeah, I mean agree, I'm the same way. I rarely
drink now just because I don't want to feel like
crap the next day, and it's it doesn't just it's
not just one day. It lingers on for for weeks,
you know. So I'm just like, what for what reason?
And I've got a little so I'm just like, I
don't want to be tired. No, But I feel like
there is more conversations about alcohol. I don't know if
it's just us in our forties, you know, and plus
(39:18):
but or if it's but I feel like I've heard
that it's that's dropping a little bit too.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
Definitely, definitely.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Oh I'm forty. I'm gonna be forty two in December.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
Every birthday. Wait, okay, so if the opportunity came around,
would you be open to finding love or even getting
married in your case on TV, like if.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
They did like a forty like if they did like
a golden because.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
We're gold gold sparkling, sparkling.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
You guys are shimmering, okay, a shimmering bachelor in paradise.
Would you do it?
Speaker 3 (39:56):
So I never say no, right, I don't want to
closed doors. But I'm in the stage of my life
where I have kids to think about, I have a career,
like I can't put any of that on told to
go on a reality show, right, so I never say no,
But I think odds are low slim. You know, I'm
(40:19):
I'm about I'm all about opening doors and never know
unless you do it. You know, you don't know. I
don't know, but there are there are different factors at
play today than there were when I went on the show,
you know, fourteen years ago or whatever it's been. So
never say never, never, I've got other priorities right now.
Speaker 1 (40:39):
This is so exciting because if someone is listening right
now and they're and they're maybe interested, what, how could
could they slide into your DMS? Do you do that?
Speaker 3 (40:49):
It's happened, you know it's happened. But if look this
is the silliest cliche, but like I, you got to
shoot your shot, right, even if you get shot down.
So if there's no other way that we're ever going
to meet other than doing that, I would say, yeah,
do it now? You know, am I going to answer?
(41:10):
Am I going to be open to it? Are you get?
Speaker 4 (41:12):
Like?
Speaker 3 (41:12):
I don't know? But uh, you know, I would say,
you've got to create opportunity if none exists, so go
for it.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
So there's that everyone JP Rosenbaum. I mean DM I'm
on Instagram. Give him a slide in its forty eight
years old, lives in Miami, Florida, real estate developer, father
of two, So like, let's let's look our friend up here.
Speaker 3 (41:32):
I'm not flying on that, but thank you.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
We'll see what we can do it.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
I love matchmaking, so I'm going to really keep my
mind open.
Speaker 3 (41:44):
Yeah, you're out in LA though, so right yeah, right,
and you're in you're still in natural right.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Yeah, yep.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
There's this is a thing called airplanes.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
So I've heard of that.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
There is, I've heard it.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
I think, what do you think about a long distance relationship?
Would do that? Would you be open to it?
Speaker 3 (42:01):
I think there has to be an endgame, right, I
think to just do that indefinitely, And like Johanna said earlier,
like you live here, if no one's moving but no
potential for us to live together, that's that's hard to do.
I don't want to waste time on.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
That, right Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
So yeah, well we have to say goodbye. Oh but
this has been fun and really interesting to get inside
at the head of a single man in his boardies
what he's looking for. So thank you.
Speaker 2 (42:30):
Yeah, and you're doing the work and doing awesome and
you know, like you're a great dad and though just
you deserve a great love within all of that.
Speaker 3 (42:38):
Thank you, so thanks for having me on guys. I
appreciate it. Thanks. Thanks.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
JP so sweet, he's really sweet. Do you have someone
you think would make a great fit for JP? Are
you interested in JP? We'll shoot your shot, Email us
or call us. All the infos in the show notes
and we're going to put some info about JP up
on our socials. Follow us on socials, make sure to
rate and a review the podcast I Do Part two
an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective.
Host
Jana Kramer
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