November 7, 2024 • 35 mins
Kelly’s ready to date again. Don’t make the same mistakes she made.
Is she manifesting her own I Do Part 2?
Ready to find love again? Want dating advice?
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:13):
I Do. Part two is a one of a kind
experience in podcasting and love. If you didn't get love
right the first time, our hosts and celebrity mentors are
here to help you get it right the next time.
I'm one of your celebrity mentors, Kelly ben Simone. You
may know me from the Real Housewives of New York
and The Ultimate Girls Trip. I have been having so
much fun doing this podcast with all the incredible people
(00:36):
on the show. It's almost like this podcast is therapy
for me. So today I just want to kind of
talk about what's been on my heart, my heart and
on my mind. I may get a little emotional. What
I want you listeners to know is that you're not alone.
Heartbreak sucks and I'm literally going through it just like you.
So let's get started. We're going to go from heartbreak
(01:00):
to manifesting love. And I'm so excited to do this
with you guys. You know, I just want you guys
to know, like really, where I've come from and who
I am. So I got married at a very young age,
and I was married for ten years to a man
that's older and French. I have two beautiful girls and
(01:21):
who I love so much. But it was a really difficult,
difficult marriage because it was more about me being his
wife and doing things for him than us being partners.
And I didn't really know like what a partner meant
or felt like when I was in my early twenties.
(01:42):
And you know, you have to also remember, like I
started modeling when I was fifteen, and so the men
that I was meeting were guys from college, and they
were all at a totally different pace in life than
I was. And so when I met my ex husband,
you know, he was older, he was he was sophisticated,
but it was all about him, and it was really
(02:06):
really difficult to be in a one sided relationship. And
I you know, I had my first daughter, who I
love so much. And by the way, I didn't even
know I could have kids. Had I went to this
to a woman and she said, You're never going to
have children, and so I never even thought that, like
kids were on my radar. And I had my first child.
And the minute I had my first child, what was
(02:28):
bad before was even worse because it was just me
and my daughter alone in New York while he was,
you know, off his doing what he was supposed to
be doing, which was great for him, but it was
really really bad for me. And then I had my
beautiful second child, who I love so much, and after
I had her, I was like, I'm done. I can't
(02:49):
do this anymore. But it's not like, oh I'm done,
I'm finished. You know, I'm so empowered and I'm so great.
It's like, this is two thousand and seven. There's no
dating apps, there's no nothing. I was on my own.
I was providing for my kids. I was writing at
the time, I was working at all accessories. You know,
I was wearing multiple hats at that time and raising
two young girls. And so for me to leave a relationship,
(03:14):
whether it was a healthy one or not healthy, it
was still something that kept me safe. But I just
needed to move on. And I just wanted to do
something that was right for my girls and that would
make help my girls be the best version of themselves.
And that wasn't a sexy decision at the time. You know,
people were like, oh my god, why would you like
(03:36):
why would you like ruin something? You know, you know,
you have a house, and you have kids, and you
have a car, and you have you know, you're working
and you're doing all these things. But it wasn't about
all of those things. I mean, there were a lot
of indiscretions that were happening, and there was a lot
of time when I was so alone. And when you're
alone a lot as a married person or just in general,
(03:57):
I mean, you start to like really leave the stupid
things that go through your head. And I was very,
very insecure. I couldn't drive a car, I couldn't be alone.
I had to have like my you know, people around
me all the time. I didn't want to hold my
oldest daughter. So I had severe postpartum with my oldest
and I I think it really translated to my second.
(04:20):
So I was going through a lot of things emotionally.
But the good news is that I was able to
move forward and make that decision. I felt really, really
good about the decision. But then when I was out
in the wild, I was like, what is going on. I'm,
you know, thirty seven years old. Who are these people?
My dad's like, what are you doing? You're like thirty seven? Like, well,
(04:42):
who's going to want like, you know, a woman with
you know, thirty seven years old with two kids? And
people were like, oh, if you don't find someone tomorrow,
you know, you not be able to have any children,
and you're going to kind of be like used goods.
And again, there were no apps, there was no opportunity,
and you're my friends weren't exactly like, oh my god,
let me set you up with, you know, someone that
(05:04):
would be great for you. People I think really liked
watching me feel really miserable and be really really alone.
I know that you guys, if some of you guys
have seen my psoriasis, it was so bad, so bad
that it literally like wrapped around my entire body like
a snake, and I was on all these different steroids.
(05:24):
My my elbows were bleeding. It was just like my
entire was breaking down physically and mentally and emotionally. And
it was a very very very difficult time. And I
think that a lot of guys too, were like if
they did want to date me, it was like I
was kind of a trophy, even though I wasn't a
trophy because I was like a mess. But they thought like, oh, well,
(05:45):
she's she was a model, so she can you know,
we can kind of figure this out. And I was
just such a mess. I'm so glad that I wasn't
a Trophy. But it was a really, really challenging time
for me, and I just hope that nobody else has
to go through something like that. I did not feel love.
(06:06):
I did not even know what love meant. People are like, well, well,
you were so in love. I'm like, well, I wore
the dress he wanted me to wear, and I, you know,
got married and built the life for him. But I
didn't feel love and I didn't even know what being
in love felt like. And to be honest with you,
I have never been in love. I've never felt love.
(06:32):
I know that I know what it's supposed to feel.
It looked like, I know what looks like on social
media with rose petals, but I personally have never been
in love or felt what love really really feels like.
I'm just getting really emotional because like, I've never articulated
(06:54):
that before, and you know, I guess you know, the
past couple of months have been very difficult for me.
And it's been difficult because I don't have that outlet
to go on social media and you know, cry to
people and show like how I'm feeling. I you know,
(07:15):
try to mask it so because I don't want people
to you know, be afraid of, you know, running away
from something they didn't want. And I think it's really
difficult for me, you know, even though you know, I
was with him for ten years, but I stayed with
him because I thought it was the right thing to do,
and it was so harmful to me and to like
(07:38):
my mental health that when I was like started to
even date, and at you know, thirty seven, which is
not young by the way, I had such like arrested development.
I didn't even know like who I was. I would
date a guy and if I didn't like it, I
just was like dump him. I was completely unavailable. I
(08:02):
chose men that were wildly abusive verbally, physically. I guess
maybe that's also you know, I when I was very
very young, in like literally in you know, like six
years old, I was abused at my school by another classmate,
and I always felt so dirty about sex and having
(08:28):
that those kind of you know, being touched like that.
And then later on in life, when you're supposed to
feel loved and everyone's like, oh, you guys are so
in love and you have this perfect family and you're
supposed to be doing all these things, and they were
there was no perfection perfection is just a it's just
a word people try to use so that it masks like,
(08:48):
you know, all the imperfection, and people don't people either.
They want to commiserate with you, like, oh my god,
yeah that really happened to me, but they don't want
to hear your bad news. They just don't like they
have their own bad news, whether you know. And I
just felt very very very alone and very very lonely.
So over the years, I've had a handful of boyfriends,
(09:11):
and I mean, I can't you can't even call them
boyfriends because I mean they were dating me. I definitely
was not dating them. I had no interest in dating
them zero. I was so laser focused on providing for
my girls and making sure that they had what they
needed in terms of education and in terms of upbringing
(09:35):
that I thought was the right thing to do for them,
that I was so laser focused on making money, making
making whatever it took for them that if there was
a guy that was a nice guy or not a
guy's de guy, I didn't even notice him, had no
no interest, would fake and tell them I love them.
I didn't love them. I would, you know, pretend that
(09:57):
we were like boyfriend and girlfriend when I could not
have cared less what they did. I would say like, oh,
you have to go on a trip, okay, great, call
me when you're done. Like never even call them or
you know, ask how they were just completely unavailable and
the irony of it. They were all thought that I
was like so into them and that I was just
(10:18):
super hard to get to, super cold, so that they
couldn't you know, get into me. But I just wasn't
available at all, and I was miserable, totally totally miserable.
I would have sex how many whatever I wanted to why,
you know, just because like not even like caring about
(10:39):
who they were or about their feelings. It's not like
I was having sex with random people. But I would
pick guys and I would date them, and knowing that
they were the wrong people. I mean, if they had
drug issues and whatever they were doing, I didn't care
because I was like, I'll find something great about them
so I can just you know, have sex with them,
and they're unavailable. And it was just a very dark, dark,
(11:03):
dark dark time. And you know, at the same time,
I'm at home crying in my closet, like I want love,
I want to feel love. What does love feel like?
And so it was just like very strong juxtaposition of
feelings where you're putting something out there that is so
(11:25):
negative and you're at home desperate for something that's so positive.
And it was just a very it was it was
a very you know, difficult time. And then I was
on television and I had guys that would try and
they would be like, oh, I dated a hub's wife,
and you know, sometimes I would be like, Okay, maybe
(11:47):
I should just date them to date them, I mean,
dating some guy that wanted to date someone that was
on a TV show. Like how pathetic is that? And
like imagine my sense of like my self esteem was
a zero. And then I was engaged to my most
recent ex who really really wanted to marry me, and uh,
(12:12):
I just wasn't available for him either. You know. I
was happy for him and his success, but I didn't
really care about anything that happened with what he was
doing or his family. I didn't want to like be
a part of his kids. I didn't want to hear
about his you know, that part of his life. It
(12:32):
just has zero interest. And now that I reflect back
on that, I just, you know, it's not fair to
be with someone who's emotionally unavailable. It's just not fair.
It's just not fair. And you know, whether he's a
superman or whether he's Clark Kent, he just wasn't my man.
(12:55):
And I'm just I'm just excited to meet my man,
Like what does he look like? What does he smell like?
What does he feel like? Like? I want I can't
wait to meet someone that I just want to tell
the whole world like I've never been like I have
a boyfriend. And it's you know, when you're like in
(13:20):
the you know, in papers and people are like, are
you dating? And they'd ask me, are you dating Andy?
They want I'd be like, no, no, I was dating
all these different guys. I was saying, no, no, I'm
not dating anyone, lying, lying like crazy. Didn't want anyone
to know what I was doing, because I, first of all,
was none of their business. But second of all, I
didn't want anyone to know if I was dating someone.
(13:41):
If I wasn't not embarrassed by them, but just humiliated
by my own self. And you know, it's ironic because
I have this, you know, I was raised with a
twin brother, so I had this amazing twin brother who
I used to fight with, argue with. You know, we'd
have so much fun with do stupid things, watch sports
(14:05):
with him, do all these things. And so I know
what it's like to have a gem. He's my brother.
But I know what it's like to be around a
male who's amazing and who's fun and exciting and interesting
and engaging, and he has a beautiful wife an amazing kid.
So I know what that looks like. I just didn't
want it for myself. For some reason, I just was like,
(14:30):
I don't deserve that. And maybe the guys that I
was dating or that I was choosing just made that
even more real because they they didn't deserve me, and
I didn't even deserve them. I mean, they could have
been the worst men on the planet, but they still
were a lot better than how I was treating myself.
(15:02):
So when I called off my engagement four days before
the wedding, there was like this, there was like a
lot of mixed emotions. She wouldn't she know she'd broke
up and then because of money it's all about money,
or she's not you know, no, oh he dodged a
bullet because she's so crazy, or you know all these awful,
(15:22):
awful things, and when you're you know, in the public eye,
you know you have a responsibility, and you know. I
wanted to say, like I'm feeling like shit, I'm feeling awful,
I'm feeling so humiliated, I'm so humiliated, and that I
(15:44):
couldn't like figure out like who to be with, or
that I didn't say to him before, this is not working.
This is not right. I do not want this. And
that's not that I didn't want this because I was
running away again in like the newest sneakers so I
could get was as fast as possible. It's not like
running away. I just I knew for myself that he
(16:05):
wasn't the right person a long long time ago, and
I should have had the confidence to sit him down
and say, or just the decency to say, this is
not working. And not for the reasons that you think,
but because I'm not ready. I'm not ready. So again,
(16:26):
like you know, here's a laundry list of all these
different guys, drugs, infidelity, cheating, like you name it, the
worst of the worst. I was like, oh, I'll date him.
I'll date that guy that sounds great, making excuses, but
like who wants someone like that, And even if on
(16:46):
paper they looked like they were incredible, they were single
for a reason and so was I because we're both
like totally. All these men that I was dating were
just as unavailable as I was hiding all these issues, porn,
like all this crap, and it was really awful. And
(17:10):
I just when I remember what I remember a year ago,
and I just was like, I cannot do this anymore.
There were situations that were happening with his children, and
I just was like, I am not ready for any
of this and I can't do this. And instead of
being an adult and in the room, because you know,
I always talk about being the adult in the room.
I always talk about like, oh, finally there's an adult
(17:33):
in the room. I'm up here, you're down there. You know,
you know I always know the right thing to say.
I don't know the right thing to say. I just
say that because that sounds good, because it sounds like
something that someone like me would say. That's not the
right thing to say, it's not. You have to be
(17:53):
honest with people and say to them, first to yourself,
forget them, like you're not you don't need, you don't
owe anyone anything, by the way, So the first thing
that you need to tell yourself is here are the
here the non starters. Here are the things you cannot
put up with. And that's not like, well, Kelly, when
(18:15):
you're like dating, you're gonna have to be a little
more open because like everybody's got their flaws. So I've
recently started dating again since I called off my wedding,
and not because I'm bored, but because I have been
going to therapy and because I started this podcast and
(18:40):
listening to all these different mentors and people talk about
their different stories made me feel safe. So I was like, hey,
you know what, like someone's been married four times. People
have there you know, like I'll never forget TJ with
like there's eight divorces in this room, And I was like,
what eight, That's just a crazy number. And I just
(19:05):
started to feel safe about what I wanted for my
own self. And so I have an amazing therapist and
we've been talking through and walking through what are the
things that are non starters for me? And if I
am going to go on a date, what am I
going to bring to the table? Not him, but what
am I going to bring to the table? First of all,
(19:25):
I'm going to bring to the table things I will
not put up with, and those are things like no cheating,
no lying, no violence, no emotional abuse, no sexual abuse,
no any kind of anything that makes me feel bad.
If you don't make me feel good about feeling good,
(19:48):
you're out. And you can tell that about a person immediately.
You don't need to talk to them, you don't need
to ask them about their last relationship. All you need
to do is give them a couple of seconds to say,
how are you? Or you're just kind of talk, you know,
you're just kind of how they introduce themselves, and you'll
know immediately if it's about them or if it's about
(20:10):
you guys. And that was something I needed to learn
that it's a wee. It's not like I'm going to
lure this guy. I'm going to show him how pretty
I am and funny I am and smart I am.
Now you want I needed to I need to be
and I'm going to be open. I'm going to be
(20:32):
more relaxed, maybe in my body language, maybe the way
that I dress, just everything about me is going to
be different because it's on my terms now and all
those things that I said before the cheating, the line,
the vines, all of those things are just absolutely unacceptable
(20:55):
and so run away from all of that, run fast sprint.
So no more abuse of drugs or alcohol, no more anger,
no more fixing men, no more Oh I see the
potential in him, I just see so much in him.
(21:16):
If he's not there, he's not ready. No more dating
someone that doesn't want to have a future with me,
no one. No more dating someone's that's not saying, oh
my god, I would love to do this on Halloween,
or making plans in the future, whether it's like going
to the movies, doesn't need to be you know, some
wild thing. It needs to be something a tomorrow thing.
(21:38):
Oh I would like to get a coffee with you.
I'm going to meet you. Those kind of things. Not
going to go on a date with someone who doesn't
understand my kids because they're my number one priority and
they will always be. So that's like an absolute no.
And no more self sabotaging my relationships. So, like I said,
being more relaxed, and when I go on a date,
(22:02):
not being feeling like I have to get dressed up
or put on any pretenses. You're around more single people
and Everybody starts talking about being single and what single
looks like, but they don't talk about what single feels like.
So there's no connectivity. There's no spending time with people,
there's no back and forth, there's no h how is
(22:28):
your day like? Not like how was your day like?
How was your day like? How was your day like?
How is that meeting that you had? How did that go?
Did we did you know? What did you say in
that meeting? Did you feel good about it? You know,
life is about these small little moments, and when you're
single and by yourself, it's not that it sucks, it's
(22:49):
just it's just these moments that you're having these memories
by yourself. And I'm not judging anyone for wanting to
be by themselves or for enjoying their own personal company,
because I think that's amazing. I personally am not that person.
I don't enjoy being by myself. I don't enjoy myself.
I don't enjoy being by myself. So for me, being
(23:10):
single is the worst thing. You know. I remember thinking
to myself, Oh my god, my kids go away. What
am I going to do? Like I'd always be like, oh,
I have to go home for the kids. I have
to go home, my kids, my kids, my kids, and
I was like, what happens? I mean, fortunately for COVID,
I would have been by myself four years ago, just
alone by myself. And it's not like I'm just one
(23:32):
of these kind of people that's like walking down the
street like winking at people a hay tiger, Like I'm
not that person. I'm so introverted and so I'm so
like frightened to people and like, oh my god, they're
probably saying something about me, and I'm just so insecure
that I'm so afraid that they are, you know, looking
at me poorly or being like, oh she's awful or
(23:54):
she has big shoulders or whatever it is that they say.
That's mean, Like that goes That's what goes through my head.
Being alone and being single sucks because you allow yours
that's your that's your partner, is your your mind, that's
like places tricks on you. And I don't want to
make those memories in my life and I don't want
(24:14):
to have that partner. I want to have a solid
partner that we're talking about things and we're interested in things,
and we're making plans and we're building a family, whether
that's with his family or my family. I want to
create those memories. I always talk about creating memories. So
(24:43):
I really appreciate you guys going through this with me.
Being single just really sucks. And there's like no one
that you have. There's no one that you have in
a crisis, like something happens to you, like when you know, Christmas,
I'm driving with the girls and and my oldest daughter's
car she blows a tire and I'm like, I don't
want to fix a freaking tire and there's no aa,
(25:06):
there's no nothing. And I literally just melted down and
start bawling my eyes out like I had just it's like,
and I know that sounds like, oh my god, you
have no one to fix you tire. It was like
on the road it was Christmas. There's no one there,
And I'm like with my kids, so there's no one
to help you on a crisis. And the idea of
turning sixty, I'm, you know, fifty six, that's around the corner.
(25:27):
I'm being alone makes me really sad and really scared.
And the idea of my youngest child leaving and moving on,
even though I want them to be healthy and happy
and amazing. I'm scared to be alone, and I feel
like they are like so close to me because they
(25:48):
don't want me to be alone and they don't want
me to be, you know, scared, which is awful. This
is everything that I didn't want for them. And I
don't want a photo album. I don't want to like
my phone filled with pictures of myself face tuned photos.
I really don't want that. I mean, everybody loves that.
I do not like that. I'm like, ugh, look these
(26:09):
fecking photos. Like where are like the fun photos of
like eating ice cream or like the you know, like
like hanging out with your kids eating you know, watching
a movie, or just like fun selfies. And I don't
want to have lack of sex and lack of intimacy.
I don't want to I don't want to have I
don't want to have sex anymore. I don't want to
(26:30):
have some guy taking a Viagara with some angry bird
penis like looking at me, frightening me. I'm like, I
need an ice pack, and this is not what I want.
I want to have intimacy and love and kindness and
just to like just lay there with them and talk
about whatever it is. I don't want some like red
(26:52):
you know, like arm coming after me. Just don't want that.
Nothing wrong with guys would take viagra. But if you're
gonna take viagraa why can't you say I'm gonna go
in the bathroom. My little friend and I are going
to have a power you know, like a little moment
together and we'll be back. Like so at least I'm
involved in the narrative and I'm not just like, you know,
standing there with like a tripod in front of me.
I'm just like, that's not what I want. I don't
(27:14):
want that kind of sex, and I don't want to
be good with events by myself. So it's you know,
everyone and Peete talks about how I'm always late to
an event. The reason I'm late to an event is
because I don't want to be at the event by myself,
So I go late because I'm like, if I go late,
then I can leave early because everyone else is leaving early.
So I'm only there for a certain amount of time
(27:35):
because I don't want to be by myself. Oh yeah,
So I went to this event by myself and it
was really really great. Me myself and I sat in
the chair together, I talked to people. They were really
not interested in talking to me, but I was talking
to them anyway, and you know, they were talking to
me about whatever it was. And then I left, and
it used to make me so sad and miserable. I
(27:55):
was miserable, miserable sitting there. I'd be all my you know,
all hair and makeup, and people are like, oh my god,
you just get ready for twenty minutes. Yeah, because I
was only there for twenty minutes to do what I
needed to do and then I left. And not that
I don't respect the people that have me at these events,
but I was just so unhappy with myself that I
(28:17):
wasn't even enjoying the moment that they were celebrating. So
I missed out on that. And I want to have
someone to vent too, Like I'm venting to you guys.
I want to be in a safe space where I
can just be like I'm feking miserable today, as opposed
to being like everything's fun, everything's great, We're gonna get
(28:39):
all this together. I'm gonna go on and run and
feel good. I just want to vent to someone and
just be like I am having the worst day and
I'm feeling that feeling that I don't want to feel.
I'm feeling that that part of me is telling me
I'm not good enough, and I don't want to feel
that anymore. So something I'm really big on now is
(29:03):
therapy and I'm working on myself post breakup. But I'm
really into manifesting my own future. This is something that
I was like, manifest I was like, that is a croc.
I'm like, I'm not going to manifest anything. But you
know what, since I've been doing this podcast and I
actually have been looking up in my TikTok is like manifestation,
(29:23):
you must manifest, And I'm like, what is going on now?
This new person in my head that's trying to help
me to be better and it's working. It's just working.
I mean for me to be able to sit in
this chair and talk to you guys like this. It's
not who I am, but it's me now. So when
(29:45):
I get married someday, I have a really strong idea
of who that's going to be and what they're going
to look like. After all this, after this disaster, after
this like a pile of rubble of my feelings and
my emotions and my old self is like, I'm just
(30:07):
like going to clean that all up, and I am
going to start believing in myself first and giving myself
a chance and giving myself a chance to feel and
to be open and to be available and to be kind,
(30:28):
really kind to another person. So after all this, I
wrote a journal entry to my dear future husband, and
I want him to know how much I love and
(30:48):
care about him and why I'm so proud to be
with him. To my future husband, I'm so happy to
have finally met you. Now that I have a healthier mindset,
I'm doing the work with a therapist, I'd like to
express to you how thankful I am to finally have
(31:09):
you in my life. I've never written a heartfelt note
or vows or anything outside of one love letter in
my entire life. When I was writing my novel The
Second Course, I was asked to write a letter to
the man I was dating at the time. He was
an amazing person from a prestigious family, but he was
myriad in a world of prescription drugs. Looking back, I
(31:33):
didn't know I would engage in with a man with addictions,
but I saw who he was without the drugs, and
that was incredible, bright, educated and thoughtful. But what about me?
Why did I gravitate towards a man who was emotionally unavailable,
and why was I writing him a love letter? Why
(31:57):
wasn't I writing the love letter to myself. What I
quickly learned in writing that letter was that he his
addictions and I couldn't sustain a love triangle. And I
came to understand that I deserve a man who could
be a safe haven. So who is that man? He's
always there for me, whether the good, the bad, the ugly.
(32:21):
He won't let me run away from uncomfortable moments, and
he makes decisions with me, not for me. He's you,
always surprising me and constantly piquing my curiosity. My non
negotiables are that I cannot live with a cheater, a liar,
or anyone who abuses drugs or someone with anger issues.
(32:42):
They must love me and my family and allow me
to love theirs. I need to protect me and not
have to protect them. In the past, I would sabotage
a relationship if I felt I was not good enough.
I wanted to protect myself from hurt, and maybe that
was manifest by me taking control, which is ironic because
(33:03):
I found myself in abusive relationships. Time after time, the
lines were blurred. The desire was for a strong man
to take control, but to protect me, not to physically
assault me. That was the theme for too long. Here's
who you are to me. You make me a better person.
You inspire me with little things like hot sauce, and
(33:26):
you treat my children and their emotions with kid gloves.
You make me want to nest with you. You make
me want to tell the world who you are and
why you are my superman. Not for the reasons you think,
but because you walk next to me, holding hands as
a partner in everything. I'm not an open person, but
(33:47):
I want you to know everything about me. It hasn't
been the easiest to navigate the world of relationships and
love to understand who I deserve. I tell you these
stories so you can hear the pain and the fear
in my heart. And I now know that love isn't
supposed to hurt. I can love in my bones, wrapped
(34:09):
around me like the coziest juvet. And you are the
man I want for myself, the man I've always dreamed of.
I can only pray that my daughters might a kind
person like you for themselves. Here are things I'll never do.
I'll never run away, I'll never belittle you, and I'll
never make you insecure about how I feel about you,
(34:32):
cheat on you, or lie to you. Thank you for
believing in me, Kelly. I just feel so much better
after reading that out loud. This was so vulnerable to
put out there, and I really enjoyed connecting with you.
And I think that we've been through it. We've really,
really really been through it. Today. We loved and we've lost,
(34:53):
and still we want to find love again. I'm being
real and raw with you, guys, because it's the only
way that I know I'm going to grow and heal.
So if you're wanting some relationship or dating advice, or
you're single and ready to find love again, call us
at one eight four four four I Do POD's one
(35:15):
eight four four four four three six seven sixty three
or email us I Do Pod at iHeartRadio dot com.
Follow us on Instagram at I Do Part two Pod.
All this information will be in the show notes, and
make sure to rate and review the podcast. I can't
wait to hear what you think. I Do Part two
(35:37):
an iHeartRadio podcast where Falling in love is the main objective.
I Do. Part two is a one of a kind
experience in podcasting and love. If you didn't get love
right the first time, our hosts and celebrity mentors are
here to help you get it right the next time.
I'm one of your celebrity mentors, Kelly ben Simone. You
may know me from the Real Housewives of New York
and The Ultimate Girls Trip. I have been having so
much fun doing this podcast with all the incredible people
(00:36):
on the show. It's almost like this podcast is therapy
for me. So today I just want to kind of
talk about what's been on my heart, my heart and
on my mind. I may get a little emotional. What
I want you listeners to know is that you're not alone.
Heartbreak sucks and I'm literally going through it just like you.
So let's get started. We're going to go from heartbreak
(01:00):
to manifesting love. And I'm so excited to do this
with you guys. You know, I just want you guys
to know, like really, where I've come from and who
I am. So I got married at a very young age,
and I was married for ten years to a man
that's older and French. I have two beautiful girls and
(01:21):
who I love so much. But it was a really difficult,
difficult marriage because it was more about me being his
wife and doing things for him than us being partners.
And I didn't really know like what a partner meant
or felt like when I was in my early twenties.
(01:42):
And you know, you have to also remember, like I
started modeling when I was fifteen, and so the men
that I was meeting were guys from college, and they
were all at a totally different pace in life than
I was. And so when I met my ex husband,
you know, he was older, he was he was sophisticated,
but it was all about him, and it was really
(02:06):
really difficult to be in a one sided relationship. And
I you know, I had my first daughter, who I
love so much. And by the way, I didn't even
know I could have kids. Had I went to this
to a woman and she said, You're never going to
have children, and so I never even thought that, like
kids were on my radar. And I had my first child.
And the minute I had my first child, what was
(02:28):
bad before was even worse because it was just me
and my daughter alone in New York while he was,
you know, off his doing what he was supposed to
be doing, which was great for him, but it was
really really bad for me. And then I had my
beautiful second child, who I love so much, and after
I had her, I was like, I'm done. I can't
(02:49):
do this anymore. But it's not like, oh I'm done,
I'm finished. You know, I'm so empowered and I'm so great.
It's like, this is two thousand and seven. There's no
dating apps, there's no nothing. I was on my own.
I was providing for my kids. I was writing at
the time, I was working at all accessories. You know,
I was wearing multiple hats at that time and raising
two young girls. And so for me to leave a relationship,
(03:14):
whether it was a healthy one or not healthy, it
was still something that kept me safe. But I just
needed to move on. And I just wanted to do
something that was right for my girls and that would
make help my girls be the best version of themselves.
And that wasn't a sexy decision at the time. You know,
people were like, oh my god, why would you like
(03:36):
why would you like ruin something? You know, you know,
you have a house, and you have kids, and you
have a car, and you have you know, you're working
and you're doing all these things. But it wasn't about
all of those things. I mean, there were a lot
of indiscretions that were happening, and there was a lot
of time when I was so alone. And when you're
alone a lot as a married person or just in general,
(03:57):
I mean, you start to like really leave the stupid
things that go through your head. And I was very,
very insecure. I couldn't drive a car, I couldn't be alone.
I had to have like my you know, people around
me all the time. I didn't want to hold my
oldest daughter. So I had severe postpartum with my oldest
and I I think it really translated to my second.
(04:20):
So I was going through a lot of things emotionally.
But the good news is that I was able to
move forward and make that decision. I felt really, really
good about the decision. But then when I was out
in the wild, I was like, what is going on. I'm,
you know, thirty seven years old. Who are these people?
My dad's like, what are you doing? You're like thirty seven? Like, well,
(04:42):
who's going to want like, you know, a woman with
you know, thirty seven years old with two kids? And
people were like, oh, if you don't find someone tomorrow,
you know, you not be able to have any children,
and you're going to kind of be like used goods.
And again, there were no apps, there was no opportunity,
and you're my friends weren't exactly like, oh my god,
let me set you up with, you know, someone that
(05:04):
would be great for you. People I think really liked
watching me feel really miserable and be really really alone.
I know that you guys, if some of you guys
have seen my psoriasis, it was so bad, so bad
that it literally like wrapped around my entire body like
a snake, and I was on all these different steroids.
(05:24):
My my elbows were bleeding. It was just like my
entire was breaking down physically and mentally and emotionally. And
it was a very very very difficult time. And I
think that a lot of guys too, were like if
they did want to date me, it was like I
was kind of a trophy, even though I wasn't a
trophy because I was like a mess. But they thought like, oh, well,
(05:45):
she's she was a model, so she can you know,
we can kind of figure this out. And I was
just such a mess. I'm so glad that I wasn't
a Trophy. But it was a really, really challenging time
for me, and I just hope that nobody else has
to go through something like that. I did not feel love.
(06:06):
I did not even know what love meant. People are like, well, well,
you were so in love. I'm like, well, I wore
the dress he wanted me to wear, and I, you know,
got married and built the life for him. But I
didn't feel love and I didn't even know what being
in love felt like. And to be honest with you,
I have never been in love. I've never felt love.
(06:32):
I know that I know what it's supposed to feel.
It looked like, I know what looks like on social
media with rose petals, but I personally have never been
in love or felt what love really really feels like.
I'm just getting really emotional because like, I've never articulated
(06:54):
that before, and you know, I guess you know, the
past couple of months have been very difficult for me.
And it's been difficult because I don't have that outlet
to go on social media and you know, cry to
people and show like how I'm feeling. I you know,
(07:15):
try to mask it so because I don't want people
to you know, be afraid of, you know, running away
from something they didn't want. And I think it's really
difficult for me, you know, even though you know, I
was with him for ten years, but I stayed with
him because I thought it was the right thing to do,
and it was so harmful to me and to like
(07:38):
my mental health that when I was like started to
even date, and at you know, thirty seven, which is
not young by the way, I had such like arrested development.
I didn't even know like who I was. I would
date a guy and if I didn't like it, I
just was like dump him. I was completely unavailable. I
(08:02):
chose men that were wildly abusive verbally, physically. I guess
maybe that's also you know, I when I was very
very young, in like literally in you know, like six
years old, I was abused at my school by another classmate,
and I always felt so dirty about sex and having
(08:28):
that those kind of you know, being touched like that.
And then later on in life, when you're supposed to
feel loved and everyone's like, oh, you guys are so
in love and you have this perfect family and you're
supposed to be doing all these things, and they were
there was no perfection perfection is just a it's just
a word people try to use so that it masks like,
(08:48):
you know, all the imperfection, and people don't people either.
They want to commiserate with you, like, oh my god,
yeah that really happened to me, but they don't want
to hear your bad news. They just don't like they
have their own bad news, whether you know. And I
just felt very very very alone and very very lonely.
So over the years, I've had a handful of boyfriends,
(09:11):
and I mean, I can't you can't even call them
boyfriends because I mean they were dating me. I definitely
was not dating them. I had no interest in dating
them zero. I was so laser focused on providing for
my girls and making sure that they had what they
needed in terms of education and in terms of upbringing
(09:35):
that I thought was the right thing to do for them,
that I was so laser focused on making money, making
making whatever it took for them that if there was
a guy that was a nice guy or not a
guy's de guy, I didn't even notice him, had no
no interest, would fake and tell them I love them.
I didn't love them. I would, you know, pretend that
(09:57):
we were like boyfriend and girlfriend when I could not
have cared less what they did. I would say like, oh,
you have to go on a trip, okay, great, call
me when you're done. Like never even call them or
you know, ask how they were just completely unavailable and
the irony of it. They were all thought that I
was like so into them and that I was just
(10:18):
super hard to get to, super cold, so that they
couldn't you know, get into me. But I just wasn't
available at all, and I was miserable, totally totally miserable.
I would have sex how many whatever I wanted to why,
you know, just because like not even like caring about
(10:39):
who they were or about their feelings. It's not like
I was having sex with random people. But I would
pick guys and I would date them, and knowing that
they were the wrong people. I mean, if they had
drug issues and whatever they were doing, I didn't care
because I was like, I'll find something great about them
so I can just you know, have sex with them,
and they're unavailable. And it was just a very dark, dark,
(11:03):
dark dark time. And you know, at the same time,
I'm at home crying in my closet, like I want love,
I want to feel love. What does love feel like?
And so it was just like very strong juxtaposition of
feelings where you're putting something out there that is so
(11:25):
negative and you're at home desperate for something that's so positive.
And it was just a very it was it was
a very you know, difficult time. And then I was
on television and I had guys that would try and
they would be like, oh, I dated a hub's wife,
and you know, sometimes I would be like, Okay, maybe
(11:47):
I should just date them to date them, I mean,
dating some guy that wanted to date someone that was
on a TV show. Like how pathetic is that? And
like imagine my sense of like my self esteem was
a zero. And then I was engaged to my most
recent ex who really really wanted to marry me, and uh,
(12:12):
I just wasn't available for him either. You know. I
was happy for him and his success, but I didn't
really care about anything that happened with what he was
doing or his family. I didn't want to like be
a part of his kids. I didn't want to hear
about his you know, that part of his life. It
(12:32):
just has zero interest. And now that I reflect back
on that, I just, you know, it's not fair to
be with someone who's emotionally unavailable. It's just not fair.
It's just not fair. And you know, whether he's a
superman or whether he's Clark Kent, he just wasn't my man.
(12:55):
And I'm just I'm just excited to meet my man,
Like what does he look like? What does he smell like?
What does he feel like? Like? I want I can't
wait to meet someone that I just want to tell
the whole world like I've never been like I have
a boyfriend. And it's you know, when you're like in
(13:20):
the you know, in papers and people are like, are
you dating? And they'd ask me, are you dating Andy?
They want I'd be like, no, no, I was dating
all these different guys. I was saying, no, no, I'm
not dating anyone, lying, lying like crazy. Didn't want anyone
to know what I was doing, because I, first of all,
was none of their business. But second of all, I
didn't want anyone to know if I was dating someone.
(13:41):
If I wasn't not embarrassed by them, but just humiliated
by my own self. And you know, it's ironic because
I have this, you know, I was raised with a
twin brother, so I had this amazing twin brother who
I used to fight with, argue with. You know, we'd
have so much fun with do stupid things, watch sports
(14:05):
with him, do all these things. And so I know
what it's like to have a gem. He's my brother.
But I know what it's like to be around a
male who's amazing and who's fun and exciting and interesting
and engaging, and he has a beautiful wife an amazing kid.
So I know what that looks like. I just didn't
want it for myself. For some reason, I just was like,
(14:30):
I don't deserve that. And maybe the guys that I
was dating or that I was choosing just made that
even more real because they they didn't deserve me, and
I didn't even deserve them. I mean, they could have
been the worst men on the planet, but they still
were a lot better than how I was treating myself.
(15:02):
So when I called off my engagement four days before
the wedding, there was like this, there was like a
lot of mixed emotions. She wouldn't she know she'd broke
up and then because of money it's all about money,
or she's not you know, no, oh he dodged a
bullet because she's so crazy, or you know all these awful,
(15:22):
awful things, and when you're you know, in the public eye,
you know you have a responsibility, and you know. I
wanted to say, like I'm feeling like shit, I'm feeling awful,
I'm feeling so humiliated, I'm so humiliated, and that I
(15:44):
couldn't like figure out like who to be with, or
that I didn't say to him before, this is not working.
This is not right. I do not want this. And
that's not that I didn't want this because I was
running away again in like the newest sneakers so I
could get was as fast as possible. It's not like
running away. I just I knew for myself that he
(16:05):
wasn't the right person a long long time ago, and
I should have had the confidence to sit him down
and say, or just the decency to say, this is
not working. And not for the reasons that you think,
but because I'm not ready. I'm not ready. So again,
(16:26):
like you know, here's a laundry list of all these
different guys, drugs, infidelity, cheating, like you name it, the
worst of the worst. I was like, oh, I'll date him.
I'll date that guy that sounds great, making excuses, but
like who wants someone like that, And even if on
(16:46):
paper they looked like they were incredible, they were single
for a reason and so was I because we're both
like totally. All these men that I was dating were
just as unavailable as I was hiding all these issues, porn,
like all this crap, and it was really awful. And
(17:10):
I just when I remember what I remember a year ago,
and I just was like, I cannot do this anymore.
There were situations that were happening with his children, and
I just was like, I am not ready for any
of this and I can't do this. And instead of
being an adult and in the room, because you know,
I always talk about being the adult in the room.
I always talk about like, oh, finally there's an adult
(17:33):
in the room. I'm up here, you're down there. You know,
you know I always know the right thing to say.
I don't know the right thing to say. I just
say that because that sounds good, because it sounds like
something that someone like me would say. That's not the
right thing to say, it's not. You have to be
(17:53):
honest with people and say to them, first to yourself,
forget them, like you're not you don't need, you don't
owe anyone anything, by the way, So the first thing
that you need to tell yourself is here are the
here the non starters. Here are the things you cannot
put up with. And that's not like, well, Kelly, when
(18:15):
you're like dating, you're gonna have to be a little
more open because like everybody's got their flaws. So I've
recently started dating again since I called off my wedding,
and not because I'm bored, but because I have been
going to therapy and because I started this podcast and
(18:40):
listening to all these different mentors and people talk about
their different stories made me feel safe. So I was like, hey,
you know what, like someone's been married four times. People
have there you know, like I'll never forget TJ with
like there's eight divorces in this room, And I was like,
what eight, That's just a crazy number. And I just
(19:05):
started to feel safe about what I wanted for my
own self. And so I have an amazing therapist and
we've been talking through and walking through what are the
things that are non starters for me? And if I
am going to go on a date, what am I
going to bring to the table? Not him, but what
am I going to bring to the table? First of all,
(19:25):
I'm going to bring to the table things I will
not put up with, and those are things like no cheating,
no lying, no violence, no emotional abuse, no sexual abuse,
no any kind of anything that makes me feel bad.
If you don't make me feel good about feeling good,
(19:48):
you're out. And you can tell that about a person immediately.
You don't need to talk to them, you don't need
to ask them about their last relationship. All you need
to do is give them a couple of seconds to say,
how are you? Or you're just kind of talk, you know,
you're just kind of how they introduce themselves, and you'll
know immediately if it's about them or if it's about
(20:10):
you guys. And that was something I needed to learn
that it's a wee. It's not like I'm going to
lure this guy. I'm going to show him how pretty
I am and funny I am and smart I am.
Now you want I needed to I need to be
and I'm going to be open. I'm going to be
(20:32):
more relaxed, maybe in my body language, maybe the way
that I dress, just everything about me is going to
be different because it's on my terms now and all
those things that I said before the cheating, the line,
the vines, all of those things are just absolutely unacceptable
(20:55):
and so run away from all of that, run fast sprint.
So no more abuse of drugs or alcohol, no more anger,
no more fixing men, no more Oh I see the
potential in him, I just see so much in him.
(21:16):
If he's not there, he's not ready. No more dating
someone that doesn't want to have a future with me,
no one. No more dating someone's that's not saying, oh
my god, I would love to do this on Halloween,
or making plans in the future, whether it's like going
to the movies, doesn't need to be you know, some
wild thing. It needs to be something a tomorrow thing.
(21:38):
Oh I would like to get a coffee with you.
I'm going to meet you. Those kind of things. Not
going to go on a date with someone who doesn't
understand my kids because they're my number one priority and
they will always be. So that's like an absolute no.
And no more self sabotaging my relationships. So, like I said,
being more relaxed, and when I go on a date,
(22:02):
not being feeling like I have to get dressed up
or put on any pretenses. You're around more single people
and Everybody starts talking about being single and what single
looks like, but they don't talk about what single feels like.
So there's no connectivity. There's no spending time with people,
there's no back and forth, there's no h how is
(22:28):
your day like? Not like how was your day like?
How was your day like? How was your day like?
How is that meeting that you had? How did that go?
Did we did you know? What did you say in
that meeting? Did you feel good about it? You know,
life is about these small little moments, and when you're
single and by yourself, it's not that it sucks, it's
(22:49):
just it's just these moments that you're having these memories
by yourself. And I'm not judging anyone for wanting to
be by themselves or for enjoying their own personal company,
because I think that's amazing. I personally am not that person.
I don't enjoy being by myself. I don't enjoy myself.
I don't enjoy being by myself. So for me, being
(23:10):
single is the worst thing. You know. I remember thinking
to myself, Oh my god, my kids go away. What
am I going to do? Like I'd always be like, oh,
I have to go home for the kids. I have
to go home, my kids, my kids, my kids, and
I was like, what happens? I mean, fortunately for COVID,
I would have been by myself four years ago, just
alone by myself. And it's not like I'm just one
(23:32):
of these kind of people that's like walking down the
street like winking at people a hay tiger, Like I'm
not that person. I'm so introverted and so I'm so
like frightened to people and like, oh my god, they're
probably saying something about me, and I'm just so insecure
that I'm so afraid that they are, you know, looking
at me poorly or being like, oh she's awful or
(23:54):
she has big shoulders or whatever it is that they say.
That's mean, Like that goes That's what goes through my head.
Being alone and being single sucks because you allow yours
that's your that's your partner, is your your mind, that's
like places tricks on you. And I don't want to
make those memories in my life and I don't want
(24:14):
to have that partner. I want to have a solid
partner that we're talking about things and we're interested in things,
and we're making plans and we're building a family, whether
that's with his family or my family. I want to
create those memories. I always talk about creating memories. So
(24:43):
I really appreciate you guys going through this with me.
Being single just really sucks. And there's like no one
that you have. There's no one that you have in
a crisis, like something happens to you, like when you know, Christmas,
I'm driving with the girls and and my oldest daughter's
car she blows a tire and I'm like, I don't
want to fix a freaking tire and there's no aa,
(25:06):
there's no nothing. And I literally just melted down and
start bawling my eyes out like I had just it's like,
and I know that sounds like, oh my god, you
have no one to fix you tire. It was like
on the road it was Christmas. There's no one there,
And I'm like with my kids, so there's no one
to help you on a crisis. And the idea of
turning sixty, I'm, you know, fifty six, that's around the corner.
(25:27):
I'm being alone makes me really sad and really scared.
And the idea of my youngest child leaving and moving on,
even though I want them to be healthy and happy
and amazing. I'm scared to be alone, and I feel
like they are like so close to me because they
(25:48):
don't want me to be alone and they don't want
me to be, you know, scared, which is awful. This
is everything that I didn't want for them. And I
don't want a photo album. I don't want to like
my phone filled with pictures of myself face tuned photos.
I really don't want that. I mean, everybody loves that.
I do not like that. I'm like, ugh, look these
(26:09):
fecking photos. Like where are like the fun photos of
like eating ice cream or like the you know, like
like hanging out with your kids eating you know, watching
a movie, or just like fun selfies. And I don't
want to have lack of sex and lack of intimacy.
I don't want to I don't want to have I
don't want to have sex anymore. I don't want to
(26:30):
have some guy taking a Viagara with some angry bird
penis like looking at me, frightening me. I'm like, I
need an ice pack, and this is not what I want.
I want to have intimacy and love and kindness and
just to like just lay there with them and talk
about whatever it is. I don't want some like red
(26:52):
you know, like arm coming after me. Just don't want that.
Nothing wrong with guys would take viagra. But if you're
gonna take viagraa why can't you say I'm gonna go
in the bathroom. My little friend and I are going
to have a power you know, like a little moment
together and we'll be back. Like so at least I'm
involved in the narrative and I'm not just like, you know,
standing there with like a tripod in front of me.
I'm just like, that's not what I want. I don't
(27:14):
want that kind of sex, and I don't want to
be good with events by myself. So it's you know,
everyone and Peete talks about how I'm always late to
an event. The reason I'm late to an event is
because I don't want to be at the event by myself,
So I go late because I'm like, if I go late,
then I can leave early because everyone else is leaving early.
So I'm only there for a certain amount of time
(27:35):
because I don't want to be by myself. Oh yeah,
So I went to this event by myself and it
was really really great. Me myself and I sat in
the chair together, I talked to people. They were really
not interested in talking to me, but I was talking
to them anyway, and you know, they were talking to
me about whatever it was. And then I left, and
it used to make me so sad and miserable. I
(27:55):
was miserable, miserable sitting there. I'd be all my you know,
all hair and makeup, and people are like, oh my god,
you just get ready for twenty minutes. Yeah, because I
was only there for twenty minutes to do what I
needed to do and then I left. And not that
I don't respect the people that have me at these events,
but I was just so unhappy with myself that I
(28:17):
wasn't even enjoying the moment that they were celebrating. So
I missed out on that. And I want to have
someone to vent too, Like I'm venting to you guys.
I want to be in a safe space where I
can just be like I'm feking miserable today, as opposed
to being like everything's fun, everything's great, We're gonna get
(28:39):
all this together. I'm gonna go on and run and
feel good. I just want to vent to someone and
just be like I am having the worst day and
I'm feeling that feeling that I don't want to feel.
I'm feeling that that part of me is telling me
I'm not good enough, and I don't want to feel
that anymore. So something I'm really big on now is
(29:03):
therapy and I'm working on myself post breakup. But I'm
really into manifesting my own future. This is something that
I was like, manifest I was like, that is a croc.
I'm like, I'm not going to manifest anything. But you
know what, since I've been doing this podcast and I
actually have been looking up in my TikTok is like manifestation,
(29:23):
you must manifest, And I'm like, what is going on now?
This new person in my head that's trying to help
me to be better and it's working. It's just working.
I mean for me to be able to sit in
this chair and talk to you guys like this. It's
not who I am, but it's me now. So when
(29:45):
I get married someday, I have a really strong idea
of who that's going to be and what they're going
to look like. After all this, after this disaster, after
this like a pile of rubble of my feelings and
my emotions and my old self is like, I'm just
(30:07):
like going to clean that all up, and I am
going to start believing in myself first and giving myself
a chance and giving myself a chance to feel and
to be open and to be available and to be kind,
(30:28):
really kind to another person. So after all this, I
wrote a journal entry to my dear future husband, and
I want him to know how much I love and
(30:48):
care about him and why I'm so proud to be
with him. To my future husband, I'm so happy to
have finally met you. Now that I have a healthier mindset,
I'm doing the work with a therapist, I'd like to
express to you how thankful I am to finally have
(31:09):
you in my life. I've never written a heartfelt note
or vows or anything outside of one love letter in
my entire life. When I was writing my novel The
Second Course, I was asked to write a letter to
the man I was dating at the time. He was
an amazing person from a prestigious family, but he was
myriad in a world of prescription drugs. Looking back, I
(31:33):
didn't know I would engage in with a man with addictions,
but I saw who he was without the drugs, and
that was incredible, bright, educated and thoughtful. But what about me?
Why did I gravitate towards a man who was emotionally unavailable,
and why was I writing him a love letter? Why
(31:57):
wasn't I writing the love letter to myself. What I
quickly learned in writing that letter was that he his
addictions and I couldn't sustain a love triangle. And I
came to understand that I deserve a man who could
be a safe haven. So who is that man? He's
always there for me, whether the good, the bad, the ugly.
(32:21):
He won't let me run away from uncomfortable moments, and
he makes decisions with me, not for me. He's you,
always surprising me and constantly piquing my curiosity. My non
negotiables are that I cannot live with a cheater, a liar,
or anyone who abuses drugs or someone with anger issues.
(32:42):
They must love me and my family and allow me
to love theirs. I need to protect me and not
have to protect them. In the past, I would sabotage
a relationship if I felt I was not good enough.
I wanted to protect myself from hurt, and maybe that
was manifest by me taking control, which is ironic because
(33:03):
I found myself in abusive relationships. Time after time, the
lines were blurred. The desire was for a strong man
to take control, but to protect me, not to physically
assault me. That was the theme for too long. Here's
who you are to me. You make me a better person.
You inspire me with little things like hot sauce, and
(33:26):
you treat my children and their emotions with kid gloves.
You make me want to nest with you. You make
me want to tell the world who you are and
why you are my superman. Not for the reasons you think,
but because you walk next to me, holding hands as
a partner in everything. I'm not an open person, but
(33:47):
I want you to know everything about me. It hasn't
been the easiest to navigate the world of relationships and
love to understand who I deserve. I tell you these
stories so you can hear the pain and the fear
in my heart. And I now know that love isn't
supposed to hurt. I can love in my bones, wrapped
(34:09):
around me like the coziest juvet. And you are the
man I want for myself, the man I've always dreamed of.
I can only pray that my daughters might a kind
person like you for themselves. Here are things I'll never do.
I'll never run away, I'll never belittle you, and I'll
never make you insecure about how I feel about you,
(34:32):
cheat on you, or lie to you. Thank you for
believing in me, Kelly. I just feel so much better
after reading that out loud. This was so vulnerable to
put out there, and I really enjoyed connecting with you.
And I think that we've been through it. We've really,
really really been through it. Today. We loved and we've lost,
(34:53):
and still we want to find love again. I'm being
real and raw with you, guys, because it's the only
way that I know I'm going to grow and heal.
So if you're wanting some relationship or dating advice, or
you're single and ready to find love again, call us
at one eight four four four I Do POD's one
(35:15):
eight four four four four three six seven sixty three
or email us I Do Pod at iHeartRadio dot com.
Follow us on Instagram at I Do Part two Pod.
All this information will be in the show notes, and
make sure to rate and review the podcast. I can't
wait to hear what you think. I Do Part two
(35:37):
an iHeartRadio podcast where Falling in love is the main objective.
Host
Jana Kramer
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