November 2, 2024 • 16 mins
Former Bachelor's Bob Guiney and Jason Mesnick are guiding you to finding love…again.
From what you need to know about dating a divorced man to the biggest red flag they see women ignore when dating.
Ready to find love again? Want dating advice?
Email us at: IDOPOD@iheartradio.com or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Hey, it's Bob getting here for the Bachelor and of
course a co host of almost famous to OG's. And
I'm Jason Meslik.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
I was a batchler a long, long time ago, and
I'm your real estate agent here in Seattle.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
That's right, And this is I do Part two, a
podcast all about finding left the second time around. Now
we are going to pop some questions. All right, are
you ready? Let's go? All right, Jason, here we go.
First question, if you sleep with a woman on the
first date, are you thinking about her now for a
long term relationship? You know, I would.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
I think the world's so different now. I think if
I didn't, it'd be a super double standard.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Oh, agreed, I totally agree with that. And sometimes love
at first sight actually exists, right, all right, here we go.
Do men get turned off if a woman double text,
you know, like sends another message before you even had
a chance to answer the first one.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
It depends on how long of a break is. Like
if she text like, you know, and the next text
is an hour later, probably not. But if it's like
every two or three minutes, might get a little creepy.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Yeah, a little much, right, a little much? Just let
me answer it. Let me get it done here on
a date. Should a woman offer to pay? Sure? Why not?
Speaker 2 (01:16):
I mean, like I think the world's different. Now, I'm
not saying that you'd let her pay, but like, if
she wants to offer, that's a nice thing, nice gesture.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Yeah, I actually agree. My my wife would always be like,
you know, reaching for her wallet. I'm like, oh, come on,
you're not gonna pay, and she's like no, but I
at least want you to think I'm trying. And I'm
like okay, And I loved that, Like I thought it
was really really small when you.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Listen to the Bob here, like sometimes.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Oh, here's a good question, and this is good. This
could be another double standard kind of question. Do guys
care about a woman's body count? Do you know what
that means? Like a woman's number, magic number? Do guys
care about that?
Speaker 2 (01:53):
I don't think, Like, I mean, unless you're Wilt Chamberlain,
and like it's like ten thousand or something like that.
You know, I who knows who Wilt Chamberlain is. But
like otherwise, if it's a reasonable, reasonable number, I don't think, right, Well, I.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Think too that could be an age appropriate thing too, right,
Like if someone's twenty two and they've got, you know,
a considerable amount racked up there. And then someone who's
you know, forty or fifty or whatever you know, and
maybe I don't know, maybe it doesn't matter who knows.
Just not ten thousand. I'm just gonna say ten thousand.
Keep it below ten thousand, and there shouldn't be any
conversation about it, right. Is ghosting ever acceptable? And have
(02:27):
you ever ghosted?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
I don't think it's acceptable. I mean I may have
done it, but like, here's what's happening now. So my
son's at the dating age, he's in college, and a
girl he was dating last year started ghosting him a
little bit and seeing how he reacted to it, it
pissed me off, right, meaning like, just don't you can
just say, hey, things aren't going well, I'm moving on,
whatever it might be. I don't think, like, come on,
(02:50):
you don't need a ghost anybody that's not cool.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Just be a gentleman, right, I mean, from the standpoint
of a guy, I don't know what you'd say to
a to a woman a one, but I agree to
a lady, yeah, I would. I would literally say if
it was my son to Granny's only so he's not
he's not ghosting yet, thank god, but yeah, when he
gets older, I think I would say, like, come on, dude,
just be a gentleman, you know whatever. She might not
be that into you. You never know. Oh have I ever ghosted?
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Ah?
Speaker 1 (03:12):
I have not. This is not my style. I would
never ghost. I think what I would do is I
would do what Jason. I would do what you're saying, Jason.
I would be like, hey, this just isn't working out,
you know. But I will say back in the day
when I when I dated a lot, I would often
make it so that they wanted to break up with me.
(03:33):
I don't know. I would just be like, you're like, yeah,
what's wrong with this guy? No, but it's true. Like
I would always try to like not be as like
if I were if I was just kind of over
a relationship, I wouldn't be as responsive, but I would
still be responsive. But I wouldn't be like, Hey, what's
going on. I'd love to see you today. I'd be
more like, you know, oh, hey Debbie, Yeah, what's up.
(03:54):
How you been you know, sorry, can't get together today
or whatever? You know. I wouldn't be as uh as
as I guess available is the best way to put it.
Two questions specifically, Jason, I know you went through this one,
so this is a good one. How soon would you
introduce a woman that you're dating to your kids, right,
so we could go to your past life, right to
your first stage of your life.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Well, I mean I would actually say in the first stage,
I had done it too soon.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Right.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
There are times where, like I thought mentally I was ready,
right even though I was not ready. So again, like
I think it's some of that comes with maturity when
back then, you know, in my early this is my
late twenties, I thought I was mature, and there were
times where I did introduce somebody to my son way
too soon, right.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
But if again, if you're on a TV show, like
you're gonna do it right away because that's interest.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Yeah, they're rolling that out hot. Now, what if your
kids don't like a woman that you're dating, are you
basically like, Okay, we're not doing this, this is over.
I don't. That's a really tough one.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
And I've talked to like friends, family members about this.
I know that, Like even me, my mom brought in
my stepdad when we were teenagers, who moved in really
really quick.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
It wasn't like we didn't like him.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
We didn't even know it, right, right, But I think
it's just being caught like and I'm not saying yes
or no, right, but like if somebody is abusive, that's
one thing, even if verbally abusive, right, I'm physically abusive,
but knowing that, like, give it.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
A shot before you jump in deep, that's all I'd say.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Yeah, because I have jumped in really quick.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Yeah, it never works out right, backfires on you. I mean,
you know that's kind of to that end. I mean,
you know, that's like what you and Molly did. I
think that's so great you stayed in your life. I
mean I got the same Chris Harrison advice. And I
love telling people to this day. You know, I'll be
hosting something now and they'll go, you know, so is
this all you do? I'm like, no, I never quit
my day job. Man. I still do the same thing
(05:42):
I've always done. It's just this is kind of the
fun side thing I get to do, you know, on
the weekends or whatever. But yeah, you know, and that
was great Harrison advice. I think your advice might kind
of be right there with it. And they should listen
to what you're talking about, because I think that's huge.
What's one thing that all women need know if they
want to have a success dating a divorce man?
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Be patient?
Speaker 2 (06:06):
I think, well, be patient and then ask yourself if
this is really what you want because it could be
a challenged right. I look about what my stepdad went
through with us, and I look what Molly went through.
MOLLI was like, oh, it's ezy. Like I looked at
Jason's awesome and tie super cute. But I think the
real part of this of like how is he gonna
look at me? What's the relationship going to be?
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Like?
Speaker 2 (06:28):
I think you really this is and only you know that,
Like if you don't love, if you never wanted to
have kids and you know that, what's it like, what
is it going to be like if you're dating somebody
with a little kid or I can't.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Just ask because all of a sudden it's it's turnkey family, right.
You gotta be on you and you got and you got.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
To also like be attentive to it, like you've got
to really care about them. Like I know Ty has
got a stepdad for my ex wife, and he is
a great stepdad, like we get along awesome and making
sure that's something you really want, but only you truly
truly know that.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Right, Yeah, I agree, I agree with that. I think
one of the pieces of advice I would give when
dating a divorce guy, because I was a divorce guy
without kids from my previous relationship, was and this is
a terrible thing to say, because I do think it's
a little double standardish, but getting too comfortable too fast? Yeah, right, So, like,
(07:19):
you know, it's almost got to be an accident that
you'll leave something over at the house the first time, Right,
it can't be that you put your stuff in a
drawer and be like, you know, it's almost gotta be
like whoa I mean, because everything to a divorced guy,
whether they wanted to be the divorce person or not,
you know, whether they wanted to not stand that previous
relationship or not, is they don't want to make the
same mistakes over again. So it's going to be cautious
(07:41):
optimism at best.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Well I would even say, like, be conscious and I
did this, how much does it affect the kids? Right?
And like there was a girl I remember brought around.
She was awesome and even though it didn't work out.
After it ended, he started asking like where did she go?
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Oh? Yeah, and he was.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
So little, Ty was so little that he didn't have
any idea like who she was, why she was around.
But just be conscious that, like your decisions really impact
everybody around you.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
God so true. All right, Now we're going to get
into a little bit more of you know, some a
little more CD stuff. So what is the biggest red
flag that you think women ignore when they're dating? What's
(08:30):
the biggest red flag? Yeah, like, what's something that they
see from a guy? And like if you're on the app?
Because I actually know what I'm gonna say to this one, Okay,
and I've seen it and I and I know it.
So let me go first. I'll go first and let
you think of this, okay. All right, So when a
dude just is radio silent for long periods of time
and then it's very shady about where they've been, right,
(08:53):
Like to me, I was always pretty much an open book,
like you know, like it's always still canyon. I would say,
you know, I don't ever want anything I'm doing or
saying when you're not around to you know, like make
you look like you're the joke or you're the butt
of the joke. You know. So here's here's what I do,
Here's where i'm at, Here's what I'm at. Even if
it was something that I knew she might not like,
(09:13):
but it's just like, I'm doing this with boys to
night whatever. It was like this, this brutal honesty to
a certain degree that I felt like, man, when we
were still together, you know, three years later, I was like, geez,
she really actually loves me, you know, because I wasn't
exactly I was like, I'm going with my guys to
do this, and it was brazen at times, you know,
but at least she knew where I was. And I
feel like sometimes people make excuses for people there dating
(09:36):
who all of a sudden will be like, you know,
oh yeah, I went out my buddies last night. Oh
is that why I never heard from me from seven
o'clock until today two in the afternoon, rise day. You
know what I mean. It's like, come on, man, if
you got a certain rapport going with someone, then you know,
anything out of that has to be a little bit
of a red.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Flag, right again, like if they want you around, Like
I think the biggest red flag I guess to me
would be like if they're only calling you late at night, right,
So like again, like if they really care and they
want you around, they want you around other times than
those those moments exactly.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Yeah, yeah, they want you around those times too, but
they actually want to do like other stuff. Yeah. Yeah.
I actually think one of the coolest things and I
and I definitely saw this with with my wife was
when I would do stuff with the guys and I
would actually like want her to be there. It wasn't
I didn't feel that need to have this like guy time.
You know. It was more like, why don't you join us,
We're going to watch the game, you know whatever. And
(10:29):
you know, did she have the choice whether she wanted
to come or not, you know, but it was like
I always wanted her to feel that inclusiveness. And you know,
she's often told me that that was one of the
things that she loved about our early relationship. Oh this
is a good one. Why do guys send unsolicited dick pics?
And why so quickly? I think that's a new thing
(10:50):
because I can tell you honestly, I have never sent
a tick pick.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
I have never either, like I don't like and again
like this might be a maybe it's because we still
have phones that don't drow pictures. Got a really good point.
You can't take a picture of the landline. I've tried,
I don't know like it. And again like maybe this
is like, you know, I'm married to somebody from the Midwest.
(11:14):
None of that stuff would ever fly.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Right right same, I just and I just wouldn't do it,
Like part of me was always like you know, And
I guess maybe it's because I you know, I mean, gosh,
I was thirty two when I went on The Bachelor,
and even then I remember I was I mean that
was two thousand and five or four, late two thousand
and three. Oh my god, when I was the Bachelor,
(11:37):
and uh so, I mean, cell phones weren't that good.
Defines weren't there yet. Huh. We didn't have a lot
of funds yet. And I mean I may have even
had a flip phone during my Bachelor run. I'm not
I can't remember exactly, but I do remember thinking to
myself when people were I was already you know, I
got married after the Bachelor, then divorced, then three years
later met Canyon, and by that point I was kind
(11:59):
of you know, well known, and so I wasn't sending
Dick pics at that point, that's for sure. So I
kind of missed the window of opportunity had I had
that been something I wanted to do.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
You know, it blows my mind because I, like I personally,
I've never even asked my friends about this, but you
see it in the media right where like a technical
figure has done something like that.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
I'm like, what the heck is going on in their
brain to do that? Right? Honestly, Like, don't you know
that they can send that picture to like forty other
people go hey, this is bills, you know whatever. It's like,
That's how I think of it. Yeah, all right, and
I got one more. This is gonna be the last
question that we have during our speed round, which probably
(12:39):
hasn't been as speedy as the producers would have liked
because we're talking so much. But this is what happens
when you get two guys who actually like each other
on a call together who haven't seen each other a while,
and you're gonna have to go back in the annals
for this one, back in the dating annuals. Got it?
I'm back, all right? Is sexting ever a good idea
and when and when not would you do it sexting?
(13:00):
That's good, that's a good question.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Again, Like I'm going back to, like I'm married to
somebody from the Midwest, and this stuff doesn't that's not something, right, Yeah,
But like if you are in a trusting, committed relationship, right, right,
somebody that you trust, like you trust, right, it's beyond
having kids, right, It's like there may be a place
for something that is.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Unique.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
But I will say, in my personal opinion, like things
on your cell phone are always findable, right, right. I
remember that, and I can't remember it was it Jennifer
Anderson or somebody, some celebrity, like all these pictures came
out and she thought.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
They were private. Just remember that.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
I think about what I'm telling my son right now,
about what you should post or not post on Instagram
or whatnote the internet, your phone.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
It freaking lives forever, absolutely, dude. I think about it
all the time. I tell my nephew that he's twenty
five now, and I was like, dude, just you know,
watch what you write out there, because you know I
get it. In the heat of the moment, you feel
this way. But six months from now, it's probably not
that big of a deal now that's going to follow
you around, so just you know, wow, I think about
it at the time, man, I really do so. I
(14:05):
kind of keep my stuff to a very lighthearted, you know,
level set medium at all times.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
There's cute winky face emojis for a reason.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
That is so true. Well, dude, I love it, man,
I love catching up with you. Thanks for doing the
rapid fire question with maybe that I do part two.
I think I'm so glad when they called me and
said that they were going to have you on it
with me, and I was very excited about that and
great to get to meet Gary on the first the
first stuff pot of the show and for us to
get to catch up with all of this. I mean,
anything you learned from my answers today, because I learned
(14:38):
a lot from yours, well, I mean.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
I think you know what really took me to is
just like talking to people that are like, even though
you're a couple of years older than me in my
in our age group, but Gary, like Gary's in a
different sit stage in life. He's retired, he's looking for
the word. He kept on using his companionship, and I
think if even the younger people that are listening or
watching right now about that word, like, what does that mean?
(15:02):
He didn't say anything about attraction or we'll jumping on it,
jumping jumping somebody's bones or to somebody something like that.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
You talk about it. I think he's looking for a partner. Yeah, no,
And I think that's interesting because I think we all are.
It's just that, you know, when we're in our younger years,
we we don't really realize that that's going to be
the thing that makes us so happy in the end,
is that person that you know, hopefully we grow old
with and we you know, we have these experiences with
(15:29):
to share and we look back and it's you know,
it's all puppy dogs and rainbows, right, but we all
know that's not always all puppy dogs and rainbows. But yeah,
when you have a five year old, there's no right now,
there's no puppy dog in there. It doesn't seem to
ever be a light at the end of the tunnel
or a potogold at the end of the rainbow. But
I know it's coming. I know it's coming. I swear well,
thanks again, buddy, And hey, guys, if you're listening and
(15:50):
you're ready to get back out there. But you want
some dating advice or you're ready to find love. We
want to hear from you, so call us. We have
a voicemail with your questions. Our number is one eight
four four four I Do Pod. That's eight four four
four four three six seven sixty three. Of course, email
us at I dopod at iHeartRadio dot com, or follow
us on the Gram at I Do Part two pod.
(16:10):
I Do Part two is an iHeartRadio podcast where falling
in love is the main objective.
Hey, it's Bob getting here for the Bachelor and of
course a co host of almost famous to OG's. And
I'm Jason Meslik.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
I was a batchler a long, long time ago, and
I'm your real estate agent here in Seattle.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
That's right, And this is I do Part two, a
podcast all about finding left the second time around. Now
we are going to pop some questions. All right, are
you ready? Let's go? All right, Jason, here we go.
First question, if you sleep with a woman on the
first date, are you thinking about her now for a
long term relationship? You know, I would.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
I think the world's so different now. I think if
I didn't, it'd be a super double standard.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Oh, agreed, I totally agree with that. And sometimes love
at first sight actually exists, right, all right, here we go.
Do men get turned off if a woman double text,
you know, like sends another message before you even had
a chance to answer the first one.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
It depends on how long of a break is. Like
if she text like, you know, and the next text
is an hour later, probably not. But if it's like
every two or three minutes, might get a little creepy.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Yeah, a little much, right, a little much? Just let
me answer it. Let me get it done here on
a date. Should a woman offer to pay? Sure? Why not?
Speaker 2 (01:16):
I mean, like I think the world's different. Now, I'm
not saying that you'd let her pay, but like, if
she wants to offer, that's a nice thing, nice gesture.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Yeah, I actually agree. My my wife would always be like,
you know, reaching for her wallet. I'm like, oh, come on,
you're not gonna pay, and she's like no, but I
at least want you to think I'm trying. And I'm
like okay, And I loved that, Like I thought it
was really really small when you.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Listen to the Bob here, like sometimes.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Oh, here's a good question, and this is good. This
could be another double standard kind of question. Do guys
care about a woman's body count? Do you know what
that means? Like a woman's number, magic number? Do guys
care about that?
Speaker 2 (01:53):
I don't think, Like, I mean, unless you're Wilt Chamberlain,
and like it's like ten thousand or something like that.
You know, I who knows who Wilt Chamberlain is. But
like otherwise, if it's a reasonable, reasonable number, I don't think, right, Well, I.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Think too that could be an age appropriate thing too, right,
Like if someone's twenty two and they've got, you know,
a considerable amount racked up there. And then someone who's
you know, forty or fifty or whatever you know, and
maybe I don't know, maybe it doesn't matter who knows.
Just not ten thousand. I'm just gonna say ten thousand.
Keep it below ten thousand, and there shouldn't be any
conversation about it, right. Is ghosting ever acceptable? And have
(02:27):
you ever ghosted?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
I don't think it's acceptable. I mean I may have
done it, but like, here's what's happening now. So my
son's at the dating age, he's in college, and a
girl he was dating last year started ghosting him a
little bit and seeing how he reacted to it, it
pissed me off, right, meaning like, just don't you can
just say, hey, things aren't going well, I'm moving on,
whatever it might be. I don't think, like, come on,
(02:50):
you don't need a ghost anybody that's not cool.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Just be a gentleman, right, I mean, from the standpoint
of a guy, I don't know what you'd say to
a to a woman a one, but I agree to
a lady, yeah, I would. I would literally say if
it was my son to Granny's only so he's not
he's not ghosting yet, thank god, but yeah, when he
gets older, I think I would say, like, come on, dude,
just be a gentleman, you know whatever. She might not
be that into you. You never know. Oh have I ever ghosted?
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Ah?
Speaker 1 (03:12):
I have not. This is not my style. I would
never ghost. I think what I would do is I
would do what Jason. I would do what you're saying, Jason.
I would be like, hey, this just isn't working out,
you know. But I will say back in the day
when I when I dated a lot, I would often
make it so that they wanted to break up with me.
(03:33):
I don't know. I would just be like, you're like, yeah,
what's wrong with this guy? No, but it's true. Like
I would always try to like not be as like
if I were if I was just kind of over
a relationship, I wouldn't be as responsive, but I would
still be responsive. But I wouldn't be like, Hey, what's
going on. I'd love to see you today. I'd be
more like, you know, oh, hey Debbie, Yeah, what's up.
(03:54):
How you been you know, sorry, can't get together today
or whatever? You know. I wouldn't be as uh as
as I guess available is the best way to put it.
Two questions specifically, Jason, I know you went through this one,
so this is a good one. How soon would you
introduce a woman that you're dating to your kids, right,
so we could go to your past life, right to
your first stage of your life.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Well, I mean I would actually say in the first stage,
I had done it too soon.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Right.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
There are times where, like I thought mentally I was ready,
right even though I was not ready. So again, like
I think it's some of that comes with maturity when
back then, you know, in my early this is my
late twenties, I thought I was mature, and there were
times where I did introduce somebody to my son way
too soon, right.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
But if again, if you're on a TV show, like
you're gonna do it right away because that's interest.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Yeah, they're rolling that out hot. Now, what if your
kids don't like a woman that you're dating, are you
basically like, Okay, we're not doing this, this is over.
I don't. That's a really tough one.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
And I've talked to like friends, family members about this.
I know that, Like even me, my mom brought in
my stepdad when we were teenagers, who moved in really
really quick.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
It wasn't like we didn't like him.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
We didn't even know it, right, right, But I think
it's just being caught like and I'm not saying yes
or no, right, but like if somebody is abusive, that's
one thing, even if verbally abusive, right, I'm physically abusive,
but knowing that, like, give it.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
A shot before you jump in deep, that's all I'd say.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Yeah, because I have jumped in really quick.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Yeah, it never works out right, backfires on you. I mean,
you know that's kind of to that end. I mean,
you know, that's like what you and Molly did. I
think that's so great you stayed in your life. I
mean I got the same Chris Harrison advice. And I
love telling people to this day. You know, I'll be
hosting something now and they'll go, you know, so is
this all you do? I'm like, no, I never quit
my day job. Man. I still do the same thing
(05:42):
I've always done. It's just this is kind of the
fun side thing I get to do, you know, on
the weekends or whatever. But yeah, you know, and that
was great Harrison advice. I think your advice might kind
of be right there with it. And they should listen
to what you're talking about, because I think that's huge.
What's one thing that all women need know if they
want to have a success dating a divorce man?
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Be patient?
Speaker 2 (06:06):
I think, well, be patient and then ask yourself if
this is really what you want because it could be
a challenged right. I look about what my stepdad went
through with us, and I look what Molly went through.
MOLLI was like, oh, it's ezy. Like I looked at
Jason's awesome and tie super cute. But I think the
real part of this of like how is he gonna
look at me? What's the relationship going to be?
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Like?
Speaker 2 (06:28):
I think you really this is and only you know that,
Like if you don't love, if you never wanted to
have kids and you know that, what's it like, what
is it going to be like if you're dating somebody
with a little kid or I can't.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Just ask because all of a sudden it's it's turnkey family, right.
You gotta be on you and you got and you got.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
To also like be attentive to it, like you've got
to really care about them. Like I know Ty has
got a stepdad for my ex wife, and he is
a great stepdad, like we get along awesome and making
sure that's something you really want, but only you truly
truly know that.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Right, Yeah, I agree, I agree with that. I think
one of the pieces of advice I would give when
dating a divorce guy, because I was a divorce guy
without kids from my previous relationship, was and this is
a terrible thing to say, because I do think it's
a little double standardish, but getting too comfortable too fast? Yeah, right, So, like,
(07:19):
you know, it's almost got to be an accident that
you'll leave something over at the house the first time, Right,
it can't be that you put your stuff in a
drawer and be like, you know, it's almost gotta be
like whoa I mean, because everything to a divorced guy,
whether they wanted to be the divorce person or not,
you know, whether they wanted to not stand that previous
relationship or not, is they don't want to make the
same mistakes over again. So it's going to be cautious
(07:41):
optimism at best.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Well I would even say, like, be conscious and I
did this, how much does it affect the kids? Right?
And like there was a girl I remember brought around.
She was awesome and even though it didn't work out.
After it ended, he started asking like where did she go?
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Oh? Yeah, and he was.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
So little, Ty was so little that he didn't have
any idea like who she was, why she was around.
But just be conscious that, like your decisions really impact
everybody around you.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
God so true. All right, Now we're going to get
into a little bit more of you know, some a
little more CD stuff. So what is the biggest red
flag that you think women ignore when they're dating? What's
(08:30):
the biggest red flag? Yeah, like, what's something that they
see from a guy? And like if you're on the app?
Because I actually know what I'm gonna say to this one, Okay,
and I've seen it and I and I know it.
So let me go first. I'll go first and let
you think of this, okay. All right, So when a
dude just is radio silent for long periods of time
and then it's very shady about where they've been, right,
(08:53):
Like to me, I was always pretty much an open book,
like you know, like it's always still canyon. I would say,
you know, I don't ever want anything I'm doing or
saying when you're not around to you know, like make
you look like you're the joke or you're the butt
of the joke. You know. So here's here's what I do,
Here's where i'm at, Here's what I'm at. Even if
it was something that I knew she might not like,
(09:13):
but it's just like, I'm doing this with boys to
night whatever. It was like this, this brutal honesty to
a certain degree that I felt like, man, when we
were still together, you know, three years later, I was like, geez,
she really actually loves me, you know, because I wasn't
exactly I was like, I'm going with my guys to
do this, and it was brazen at times, you know,
but at least she knew where I was. And I
feel like sometimes people make excuses for people there dating
(09:36):
who all of a sudden will be like, you know,
oh yeah, I went out my buddies last night. Oh
is that why I never heard from me from seven
o'clock until today two in the afternoon, rise day. You
know what I mean. It's like, come on, man, if
you got a certain rapport going with someone, then you know,
anything out of that has to be a little bit
of a red.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Flag, right again, like if they want you around, Like
I think the biggest red flag I guess to me
would be like if they're only calling you late at night, right,
So like again, like if they really care and they
want you around, they want you around other times than
those those moments exactly.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Yeah, yeah, they want you around those times too, but
they actually want to do like other stuff. Yeah. Yeah.
I actually think one of the coolest things and I
and I definitely saw this with with my wife was
when I would do stuff with the guys and I
would actually like want her to be there. It wasn't
I didn't feel that need to have this like guy time.
You know. It was more like, why don't you join us,
We're going to watch the game, you know whatever. And
(10:29):
you know, did she have the choice whether she wanted
to come or not, you know, but it was like
I always wanted her to feel that inclusiveness. And you know,
she's often told me that that was one of the
things that she loved about our early relationship. Oh this
is a good one. Why do guys send unsolicited dick pics?
And why so quickly? I think that's a new thing
(10:50):
because I can tell you honestly, I have never sent
a tick pick.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
I have never either, like I don't like and again
like this might be a maybe it's because we still
have phones that don't drow pictures. Got a really good point.
You can't take a picture of the landline. I've tried,
I don't know like it. And again like maybe this
is like, you know, I'm married to somebody from the Midwest.
(11:14):
None of that stuff would ever fly.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Right right same, I just and I just wouldn't do it,
Like part of me was always like you know, And
I guess maybe it's because I you know, I mean, gosh,
I was thirty two when I went on The Bachelor,
and even then I remember I was I mean that
was two thousand and five or four, late two thousand
and three. Oh my god, when I was the Bachelor,
(11:37):
and uh so, I mean, cell phones weren't that good.
Defines weren't there yet. Huh. We didn't have a lot
of funds yet. And I mean I may have even
had a flip phone during my Bachelor run. I'm not
I can't remember exactly, but I do remember thinking to
myself when people were I was already you know, I
got married after the Bachelor, then divorced, then three years
later met Canyon, and by that point I was kind
(11:59):
of you know, well known, and so I wasn't sending
Dick pics at that point, that's for sure. So I
kind of missed the window of opportunity had I had
that been something I wanted to do.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
You know, it blows my mind because I, like I personally,
I've never even asked my friends about this, but you
see it in the media right where like a technical
figure has done something like that.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
I'm like, what the heck is going on in their
brain to do that? Right? Honestly, Like, don't you know
that they can send that picture to like forty other
people go hey, this is bills, you know whatever. It's like,
That's how I think of it. Yeah, all right, and
I got one more. This is gonna be the last
question that we have during our speed round, which probably
(12:39):
hasn't been as speedy as the producers would have liked
because we're talking so much. But this is what happens
when you get two guys who actually like each other
on a call together who haven't seen each other a while,
and you're gonna have to go back in the annals
for this one, back in the dating annuals. Got it?
I'm back, all right? Is sexting ever a good idea
and when and when not would you do it sexting?
(13:00):
That's good, that's a good question.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Again, Like I'm going back to, like I'm married to
somebody from the Midwest, and this stuff doesn't that's not something, right, Yeah,
But like if you are in a trusting, committed relationship, right, right,
somebody that you trust, like you trust, right, it's beyond
having kids, right, It's like there may be a place
for something that is.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Unique.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
But I will say, in my personal opinion, like things
on your cell phone are always findable, right, right. I
remember that, and I can't remember it was it Jennifer
Anderson or somebody, some celebrity, like all these pictures came
out and she thought.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
They were private. Just remember that.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
I think about what I'm telling my son right now,
about what you should post or not post on Instagram
or whatnote the internet, your phone.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
It freaking lives forever, absolutely, dude. I think about it
all the time. I tell my nephew that he's twenty
five now, and I was like, dude, just you know,
watch what you write out there, because you know I
get it. In the heat of the moment, you feel
this way. But six months from now, it's probably not
that big of a deal now that's going to follow
you around, so just you know, wow, I think about
it at the time, man, I really do so. I
(14:05):
kind of keep my stuff to a very lighthearted, you know,
level set medium at all times.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
There's cute winky face emojis for a reason.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
That is so true. Well, dude, I love it, man,
I love catching up with you. Thanks for doing the
rapid fire question with maybe that I do part two.
I think I'm so glad when they called me and
said that they were going to have you on it
with me, and I was very excited about that and
great to get to meet Gary on the first the
first stuff pot of the show and for us to
get to catch up with all of this. I mean,
anything you learned from my answers today, because I learned
(14:38):
a lot from yours, well, I mean.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
I think you know what really took me to is
just like talking to people that are like, even though
you're a couple of years older than me in my
in our age group, but Gary, like Gary's in a
different sit stage in life. He's retired, he's looking for
the word. He kept on using his companionship, and I
think if even the younger people that are listening or
watching right now about that word, like, what does that mean?
(15:02):
He didn't say anything about attraction or we'll jumping on it,
jumping jumping somebody's bones or to somebody something like that.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
You talk about it. I think he's looking for a partner. Yeah, no,
And I think that's interesting because I think we all are.
It's just that, you know, when we're in our younger years,
we we don't really realize that that's going to be
the thing that makes us so happy in the end,
is that person that you know, hopefully we grow old
with and we you know, we have these experiences with
(15:29):
to share and we look back and it's you know,
it's all puppy dogs and rainbows, right, but we all
know that's not always all puppy dogs and rainbows. But yeah,
when you have a five year old, there's no right now,
there's no puppy dog in there. It doesn't seem to
ever be a light at the end of the tunnel
or a potogold at the end of the rainbow. But
I know it's coming. I know it's coming. I swear well,
thanks again, buddy, And hey, guys, if you're listening and
(15:50):
you're ready to get back out there. But you want
some dating advice or you're ready to find love. We
want to hear from you, so call us. We have
a voicemail with your questions. Our number is one eight
four four four I Do Pod. That's eight four four
four four three six seven sixty three. Of course, email
us at I dopod at iHeartRadio dot com, or follow
us on the Gram at I Do Part two pod.
(16:10):
I Do Part two is an iHeartRadio podcast where falling
in love is the main objective.
Host
Jana Kramer
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