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February 5, 2024 39 mins

Jana and her Queendom hang out with Bachelor Nation's Caelynn Bell! She spills everything on what it's REALLY like being married to a guy like Dean, and she has some advice for people who sometimes feel like the total opposite of their partner.

And, we find out why nose picking caused a HUGE fight!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Wind down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio Podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
You guys, I have something that I have been meaning
to talk to you guys about, and I keep putting on.

Speaker 3 (00:12):
My This is quick and makes me nervous every time.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
What Kat and I are always like, I watch our
physicians change our body language. No, but it's something that's
really bothered me. Great shift again.

Speaker 3 (00:26):
Can we start with this and have to do with us?

Speaker 4 (00:29):
Yeai?

Speaker 2 (00:29):
Oh no, I did your dramatic pause just as I
go home, now okay cool?

Speaker 3 (00:35):
Then go okay, so.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
Shoot, so okay, I have to remember exactly what it
was or y'all. Y'all know that I like when I'm
on a plane, I like to meet the person next
to me, right, That's how you met Sarah. That's how
I met Sarah Gretzky, who's still a very dear friend.

Speaker 3 (00:55):
She's funny.

Speaker 2 (00:55):
I text her the other day and I said, hey, girl,
when you come in to visit. She's like, how did
you have two kids? The old baby drowning that's the worst.
It's like you're drowning and babies and.

Speaker 3 (01:09):
It is hard, especially i's one to two, especially if
there's two. That's really all this yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
I keep telling her we need she needs to come
on because she's just like I just got It's just
I can't certain personality types too.

Speaker 3 (01:22):
I love to watch Get Two Kids.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
She's drown and I love watching just because I'm like,
I don't think because I had both kids when like
you know, she was still like not engaged yet. It's
it's hilarious to now watch because I'm like, oh, you're
doing so good friend.

Speaker 3 (01:34):
Yeah you needed this. I love you.

Speaker 2 (01:36):
Okay, so you're But anyways, but that's my main western.
I love meeting people on planes. I love talking to people.
Maybe it kind of helps the anxiety a little bit.
So Alan and I were flying back from where we've
I don't remember. We didn't have the kids, it was
just us. I was pregnant. I'm just making sure I'm
mullle points right.

Speaker 4 (01:53):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (01:53):
So we're on the plane. Where are we coming from?

Speaker 2 (01:55):
God?

Speaker 3 (01:56):
I hate that.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
But we were rushing to get to the plane and
and I see this really pretty girl at the gate,
and I'm thinking she kind of looked like a publicist.
Maybe she We're flying back from somewhere. It was like
on East Coast somewhere. We were flying back to Nashville. Well,
she ends up being my window seat, so I'm in
the middle, Allan's in the aisle, and I was just like,

(02:18):
you're just so pretty. Sorry if like I was staring
at you earlier, I just think it's really pretty. She's like,
oh my god, I was staring at you too, like
do I know you? And I was like I don't
know do we know each other, because you know, you
never know people like work people. Yeah, long story short,
She's like realized that she noticed me from one tree
hill or whatever. But we started talking and we like
had the she just got recently divorced. She's going she

(02:40):
was going to Nashville to like, uh have this really
fun just like time away.

Speaker 3 (02:45):
Here's my thing.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
We got so deep in the two hour flight that
we had or whatever that I mean, like we have
such similar pass that it was like scary. I mean
we were both like teary at Alan's like and over
like these weirdos.

Speaker 3 (02:59):
I'm like, she's my new friend, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
I'm like wanting to like, I'm like, oh my gosh,
I love Pamelin. Like we're all just like talking like
the girls. And then I was like, DM me so
I can, we can stay in touch because like, she's
no joke like someone. I was like, she's going to
be a Sarah, you know, like a friend. And so
when we got off the plane, she was.

Speaker 3 (03:17):
Like I DMD.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
I was like, oh yeah, I'm like, I'm going to
go love. So I go to my DMS. I can't
find her DM okay, And I went back. I'm like,
there's literally no DM. She said she DMed me whatever.
And to this day, I don't remember her name, and
I keep thinking she probably thinks I'm a freaking bitch

(03:41):
because I didn't respond to her. But I'm like I
genuinely wanted to be friends with her, Like I genuinely
was like DM because I wanted to talk to her,
and I want to be like I was Nashville. I'm like,
let's grab it, you know, and I'm not pregnant anmore.
Let's grab a drink, you know. And now I'm like,
this is she walking around being like she sucks?

Speaker 4 (03:55):
Well?

Speaker 3 (03:58):
Does it show that? Yeah? Also, isn't there so therese
Missed connections is like a thing? Do you remember that?
What is that? Missed connections? Was this?

Speaker 2 (04:07):
Like I think it was for like dating, but it
was like you met at an airport or you met
it in an airport bar, and then later you're like, shit,
I wish I would have gotten their number, and there
was like a site maybe for this where you could.

Speaker 3 (04:20):
Go say like, well, I'm not trying to date her.

Speaker 4 (04:23):
Well, I.

Speaker 3 (04:25):
Just feel bad, but maybe she was.

Speaker 2 (04:26):
Like that's what I'm saying, like maybe we need like
a miss connection moment on Instagram where you're.

Speaker 3 (04:30):
Like, okay, girl, maybe she listened.

Speaker 1 (04:32):
If she doesn't listen, she does not remember your name,
email me at the.

Speaker 3 (04:37):
Email on Instagram because she didn't get your DM.

Speaker 2 (04:40):
I just feel bad because I don't want anyone to
think that any connection was a and it's it's bothered
me since that moment. And that was when I was
pregnant with Jace. I mean Roman, I did not know
Alan Jas. Okay, that's very clear before my boy, here's clickbait.
So so yeah, I just I don't ever like someone

(05:00):
thinking like, oh she was that was fake or something,
or because I was like, she's a real moment in
connection that I had with this person. I don't want
her to think that I was. And now I'm just
like I don't know, I don't know her name.

Speaker 3 (05:10):
I don't. Yeah, that's unfortunate, and she listens.

Speaker 2 (05:14):
So it really bothered me because I'm like, can you
do an Instagram story? I think that's more effective. Maybe
we need to do one today. It was well you drag,
yeah you'll know it, you will, yeah, I will. I
know exactly what she looks like. Okay, she was so sweet,
forties like single mom, like I loved her.

Speaker 3 (05:32):
Yeah she's yeah. I think we were going to go
get her.

Speaker 2 (05:35):
Do you know that feeling though, when you just you
don't want someone to walk away going Oh, I guess
because when you share something, you share meaningful conversations like
you don't want Well, then here's here's the thing. What
if she really didn't DM me, maybe it was fake
on her side, and.

Speaker 1 (05:47):
Then she really didn't want to be your friend? She said,
she you, but she didn't like you the whole time.

Speaker 3 (05:53):
I know you need to write the flip side. I thought,
I really need to. She was like, I totally DM you.
Nice to meet you didn't too much. She was like,
that was in l a NonStop. She cried.

Speaker 2 (06:08):
I cried, did she okay? She it was like listening
to you for both of us.

Speaker 3 (06:12):
Okay, it's fine, and then I was like, you fine, love,
this is my like like, I was like, I promise
it's out there.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
Alan's like, can I have another snack bag? I'm excited.

Speaker 3 (06:27):
I really need to know how this ends up now,
which it is.

Speaker 2 (06:31):
Speaking of follow up, I'd like to move on to
the next subject, which is I am getting a massive
amount of d ms about your X on your skin.

Speaker 3 (06:42):
I was like, which one was?

Speaker 2 (06:45):
I should have paused dramatically, damn it. I've got a
lot to learn from your kramer about your ex. I
respect my fiance and we don't talk about excess great
stuff you brought to you.

Speaker 3 (06:54):
By God.

Speaker 2 (06:57):
I really need I need inquiry. Minds, really need to
know because what you've done is you've set the world
on fire. People have been in their desks and in
their cars doing XES on their They're like, so, really, hey,
Christ and you might be a best shot at knowing
what's going on with Jana and the X.

Speaker 3 (07:13):
So I'm on his skin.

Speaker 2 (07:15):
So I when got my blood, I got my blood
work back. I went to your holistic doctor named Nate.

Speaker 3 (07:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:22):
He I'm pretty sure he regrets now meeting me because
I texted him at eleven o'clock at night because I
thought I was gonna have to go to the er
because he's been making me do these peptide injections in
my ass and the copper was stinging so bad. I mean,
this is like an hour and I'm like, I'm in law,
it does get that shit pain. Like it was an

(07:43):
hour plus. So I texted him. I was like, hey, Nate,
I am so sorry it's so late. But I also
know he does own kids, so I was like, you
know he can't.

Speaker 1 (07:51):
He's probably well any texts anyway, Yeah, like to you know,
set up and see.

Speaker 2 (07:55):
Yeah, that's well, just so we're clear, it's still there,
see and just so we're there. My husband's also a
patient and there's a certain artist like personality that is
a little copy paste, so he knows what he's into. Okay, Well,
I was like, do I need to go to the
emergency room because I'm looking on Google right now and
I might have hit my sadic nerve, which means that
I'm like, because I'm doing these own injections in my

(08:17):
butt right yeah, I'm like and Google and now I'm googling.
I'm like, I could have hit my sidic nerve, Like
which way where it's insane to me that I have
married you and that you're my best friend.

Speaker 3 (08:28):
So he's like, you're fine.

Speaker 2 (08:30):
The copper stings a little bit longer, but I'm gonna,
you know, whatever with the dosage. So he has me
on like a million different So my testosterone was a three,
which is really low. Uh, my thyroid is not great.
He doesn't like how my thyroid is.

Speaker 3 (08:44):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (08:45):
He said all these like weird things, and I was
just like, can you please translate this in English to me?
So he's got me on thyroid medicine, testosterone, He's got
me on peptides obviously, he's got me on vitamin D.
I have this mute gene mutation called MTHR that I've
known about since I did IVF. He's like, interesting that
you're not on a supplement for that, because that's something

(09:06):
you should take for the rest of your life. It
but he's thinking I might have a nerve problem. I
knew he was going to dig deeper. That's why I
wanted to go to him. He's a total dig deep deeper.
But it's interesting because I texted the other day too.
I keep texting him. I'm like Okay, new update. Because
I had I was like, weird things keep happening. So
I'm like, the other day I had these chills on

(09:27):
my brain that it was like they were just on
my head. It's like I had chills on the body,
but it was only on my head. So I had that,
and He's like, all right, that sounds like a nerve thing,
which then would make sense with the itching and X,
Y and Z. So he's got me on like these
nerve supplements. But I might have to go see a
neurologist to check on my nerves because I could have
some weird immune neuropath even going on. So I'm obsessed

(09:50):
with Nate in a non sexual way. His brain is
my favorite. That is like doctor house too. That is
what I told Alan. I could not stop talking about him,
and I looked at it and go, I hope you know.
I'm I love his brain like I love Wait, I've
sent a million people, so I brain go to him too,
because I'm like, he's just so thorough and he knows
so much and he's he's just like we will check
every box. And so then the other day I also

(10:13):
texted him and said, hey, Nate, new thing minus the
brain chills.

Speaker 3 (10:17):
I go, I just got the shower. It was a
five minute shower.

Speaker 2 (10:20):
Wasn't even like super hot, and I have read like
splatches of like all over me. He's like, you're definitely
having a huge, a huge immune reaction. He's like, we're
going to figure it out. Don't worry, you'll be okay.
So like he also like calms me too. Yeah, So
he's great.

Speaker 3 (10:35):
I love him. Well, I'm not going feathers.

Speaker 2 (10:38):
He's great. So I got to go back to see him.
I'm waiting on my He also said too, he's like, listen,
after pregnancy, He's like, there's something too with food or
something that your body is like, I don't like this anymore.
Maybe Roman took the last of it and now you're
having a reaction to it. So he's like, we're going
to figure it out. He's like, but you might now
be allergic to something. So I did a food sensitivity test,

(10:58):
so we're going to see what comes back there, and
we're just gonna start xing it off.

Speaker 3 (11:01):
I promise, y'all, I will. Is it better? No, okay,
it's not.

Speaker 2 (11:06):
Having said that, I found a good shampoo that's really
helping to stop the itch. But I know that if
I go like two or three days and I don't
use the shampoo, it's like back to the Okay, back
to the itch.

Speaker 3 (11:15):
Yeah. I do think it is some sort of like inflammatory,
there's something.

Speaker 2 (11:18):
I mean, I just get these random like yeah, random things,
and that the head thing was really weird. My site
kind of goes foggy. It's very strange.

Speaker 3 (11:27):
I will say this.

Speaker 2 (11:28):
I think we sometimes, I think a society kind of
like toss postpartum moms into this, like once you've hit
a certain point, like you're just back on track kind
of feeling.

Speaker 3 (11:37):
Yeah. And I think it's regular.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
Doctors who have made me feel crazy. They're like, your
hormones are fine, You've had now two periods, You're good.
And I'm like, then why is Nate saying that? Hormonally
like I'm off and I was.

Speaker 3 (11:47):
Lo lo to like a four.

Speaker 1 (11:49):
And they never dig into like you do typical blood work,
but they never dig deeper unless there's like a reason too,
And that's why I love Nate. There wasn't really a
reason for me too, but I wanted to like dig
deeper and see what because I never go, which you know,
that's just you know, how I guess how medicine is.

Speaker 2 (12:06):
But that's yeah, and a lot of I will say
to any postparton moms, A lot of postpartum moms get
immune immune diseases afterwards too, So he's like, so he's like,
those are boxes too that were still like I came
back to malnourished. He's like, we've got to get you
like I did the food sensitivity. He's actually changed Preston's
life too, So yeah, he's determined to stared by Integrative

(12:26):
Health goes. But serious though, if you guys are in
the Nashville area, was this last nime? I had Nate
Burne's neighbor and Saniel in Integrative Health right in Invigorate
Invigorate Health. He's in Franklin and he's fantastic, so definitely
go see him. But yeah, so we'll see. But I
did get a few DMS and I felt really bad.
People were like, I don't have an itch, but I

(12:47):
was itching the entire time list soon to podcast. I know,
it's crazy, Well it is. You just wonder, Yeah, like,
did you guys ever watch House Doctor House? No? No,
I had to. I can't with the Preston, can't. He's
hypochondriac anyway. But it's like that feeling like I'm like,
let's get to the bottom of it. I wanted to know.

Speaker 3 (13:03):
I just need to know. I think that's what bothers
me the most. Sure what is it? And at the
point too, that's annoying.

Speaker 2 (13:09):
Yeah, But let's got another girl on who's so fun
and I love her. And her name is Kaylin and
she was on the Bachelor and then she married Dean.
She's got a new podcast out with Jared and Dean.
It's called Suckers. Let's get Kaylin on.

Speaker 3 (13:35):
Hey girl, Hey, how are you? I'm good, How are
you good?

Speaker 4 (13:39):
Good to see you?

Speaker 2 (13:40):
Good to see you too? You just got married? Ye?

Speaker 3 (13:44):
The newly went glow. It's my favorite. I have to say.

Speaker 2 (13:48):
I was when every time, you know, I would like
see you as an Instagram I'm like, is he going
to propose to her? Yet? Like what is going on?
I'm like this is taking forever. I'm like I'm getting
as annoyed as watching Tanya rads thing. And then Like'm like,
these girls need to get freaking engage, like they're ready.

Speaker 3 (14:04):
You get so into it, I really do.

Speaker 2 (14:06):
When are they going to because I know they you know,
at least I knew like Tanya was like ready, you know,
so I'm like, were you kind of like it was like,
how many five years?

Speaker 4 (14:15):
Yeah, we're coming up on five years. So yeah, he
really took his time, but yeah, I was ready. I
was ready, like because I'm from the South, and I
was like I could, I could be married tomorrow and
be ready for kids. But now that we're married, I'm like, oh,
I'll wait on the kids.

Speaker 2 (14:30):
Ah yeah, right, like us forty year old moms. I'll
tell you, Yeah, I need you to wait not too long,
because I got to tell you the recovery once you
hit forty it's a little different.

Speaker 4 (14:42):
How old are you twenty eight?

Speaker 2 (14:44):
Oh yeah, twenty times being married?

Speaker 4 (14:50):
Yeah, thirty sounds good. I guess. I don't know.

Speaker 3 (14:53):
I'm just scared. Thirty two.

Speaker 2 (14:55):
So the van, So when he said like he wanted
to live in a van, that didn't scare you off
or was that part of your idea?

Speaker 3 (15:02):
Okay?

Speaker 4 (15:03):
Yeah, I mean I had a crush on him for
it's probably been like eight years now, so I was
just so in love with him upon meeting him, and
I was like, yeah, I'll do like whatever weird stuff
you want to do.

Speaker 3 (15:15):
But way, yeah, I don't know why.

Speaker 2 (15:20):
That's so cute. What was it about Dean? I mean,
because you know, obviously I met him. He's such a
he's a handsome guy, he's so he's so nice, he's
so sweet. But what was it that were like, he's
my guy?

Speaker 4 (15:33):
It's it's kind of those exact things I I just saw,
like how he was with people and the way that
he treats people. He can walk into a room and
make everyone feel so comfortable, and like, now I rely
on him so heavily, which is terrible. Like if he's
not with me, I'm very introverted, I'm very shy, and
he's just like I just love the way he puts
people at ease and makes people feel so cared for.

(15:54):
And I was like, I want that. That's what I
want as a Husband's that's who I want as the
father of my kids.

Speaker 2 (16:01):
Okay, Now the flip side of that, what is one
thing where you're like, this is gonna drive me crazy
now as you know for years as your wife, or
what is the one thing they're like, he doesn't he
doesn't communicate well, Or what's the thing that's is a
little bit of a tough point in it.

Speaker 4 (16:18):
Funny enough, he brought this up yesterday on a podcast.
It's pretty gross and pretty embarrassing. So he likes to
pick his nose in public and it grosses me. I'm
like this, we learned this as kids.

Speaker 3 (16:31):
We don't do this, like for you.

Speaker 4 (16:35):
I'm like what, and he tells me he's like, well, whatever,
He's come up with a million reasons. He's like, I
produced more bookers than the most most people, I don't
know whatever. And I talked to my therapist about it,
and I was like, I know this is but like
it's actually caused a fight between us, and she took
his side and was like, you envy the part of
him that is like care free and still a kid.

(16:57):
She's like, not that you want to pick your nose
in public, but you know you did pageants and you
feel sort of like shame and this need to be perfect.
And I was like, yeah, sure. But he brought it
up to everyone last night because we're in public beach
right now, and every single guy agreed with me. They're like,
you just don't do that.

Speaker 2 (17:14):
I will say this, so I was I'm not gonna
say which couple it is, but there was a couple
that was talking to me and my fiance and they
were saying how they fart in front of each other,
and I'm like, we don't fart in front of each
other because and we had the discussion at the end
of the night, just Alan and I and he goes.
I just think there's a piece of the relationship that
still needs to remain. He's like, I'd like, I don't

(17:36):
want to fart in front of you, like he has
by accident one time, like he walked away like he
did a pantry and I was like, I just heard that.
I thought I was gonna be silent, you know, and
it was like this funny thing and we laughed. But
like there's still like this. I don't know. It's like, yeah,
you want to be friends and you want to be
like cool, but it's still like you're my wife, you're
my husband. Like I don't know, like there needs to

(17:57):
be some for us at least like same some sort
of I was like, let's keep what we do you
for what far?

Speaker 3 (18:03):
Yeah, totally does bother me.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
It doesn't make me want to just like have sex
with the I still think there has to be some
sort of like emotional and not emotional, but some kind
of like sexiness there and intrigue.

Speaker 3 (18:17):
And I don't know for us at least.

Speaker 4 (18:19):
That's how I feel too, with the farting, especially because
he will just let it loose. And then after we
got married, he was like, I think I want to
stop farting in front of you.

Speaker 2 (18:30):
Well it's like it it's like because you want I
still want to date him, you know what I mean,
And I want him to date me, and I don't
want just to think that, like, you know, farting. I
don't know, it's just it's like it's I wouldn't do
that on a date with someone that I want to impress.
Not that I need to impress my fancy, nor is
he impressed me, but it's still that like well, first
of all, the word in itself makes me cringe. So
I've just been in a state of like constant tension

(18:51):
for the last two minutes. I feel that way too,
like the courtship piece of it, like I still want
you to like want to be a certain way for
me or something like, but you.

Speaker 3 (19:01):
Guys, just let it go.

Speaker 1 (19:03):
I mean we I mean not all the time, but yeah,
but it doesn't bother me if I said it bothered me.

Speaker 3 (19:09):
Then I don't know, it wouldn't like it just doesn't
bother me.

Speaker 2 (19:12):
It's not it's not a bother It's like it doesn't
bother me either, Yeah, it bother me. It was just
it's more of like a it's just I don't know,
like it's not sexy. Yeah, it's like I want to
date each other still, like in that sense, it doesn't.
But okay, So picking the nose is like you guys
got into a fight because you're like, I don't want
you to pick your nose in front of you.

Speaker 4 (19:32):
It was really a fight. And I was like, this
is insane because maybe that's the whole bigger picture here.
He's he's willing to compromise on a lot, but he
wasn't willing to compromise here. And I was like, how
is it just like a non negotiable. It's like I'm
picking my nose whenever I have anything going on up there.

Speaker 2 (19:46):
I'm like, and then You're like, I'm having this fight
right now about picking your nose, like in the middle
of it, and go are we really having a fight
about this?

Speaker 3 (19:54):
Yes? I was like, are we okay? This is what aout?

Speaker 2 (19:59):
Well I do when it's ingrained in you too, Like
raise Southern is a thing for sure that you know,
there's like what is proper and what is not, and
then pageants take that up another level and then you've
got sweet Deane just digging for gold in the corner.
It feels like it just all doesn't align for your
little world, you know.

Speaker 4 (20:16):
Yeah, That's something I've been struggling with too, is like
you know, I've got friends and I look at their
marriages and I don't look at like one of my
good friends Jess, I don't look at her husband and
think that's a reflection of her. And that's something with
like the pageant my uptightness that I'm working on, where
I feel like if he does something embarrassing, it's a
reflection of me, and that's kind of what can cause

(20:37):
arguments and I'm like, Okay, he can be. You know,
we all have flaws. Pill do it whatever.

Speaker 3 (20:41):
It's not it's not.

Speaker 4 (20:42):
As I don't know.

Speaker 3 (20:44):
That's hard.

Speaker 1 (20:44):
That's a huge one for me, Like we will still
sixteen years in, I will get mad at.

Speaker 2 (20:48):
Somebody say sixty nine like now.

Speaker 3 (20:53):
And still really works.

Speaker 1 (20:56):
Yeah, he does something that like I'm embarrassed by or
that I don't think or I know bother someone like
it will like it will cause a fight, and I'm like,
oh yeah, like I know specifically things that bother you
about my husband and if I will be like, don't
do it, he.

Speaker 3 (21:11):
Doesn't do it around me anymore.

Speaker 4 (21:14):
She knows.

Speaker 3 (21:16):
Can we know? He does?

Speaker 2 (21:17):
Like a thing where and so and it makes me
like he makes his snot thing in his nose and
it's like like to swallow, like you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (21:25):
But also that gives me such anxiety. But it shouldn't.

Speaker 3 (21:29):
It should not.

Speaker 1 (21:32):
Annoys her, but it just it drives me crazy. And
he's like, thanks for controlling what I do around other people.
And finally I was like, you know what you do
you I don't. I don't care, like I'm trying to
be better at that, but it's hard. It's you think
it reflects you.

Speaker 4 (21:46):
Yes, that's his reaction too. He's like, why do you
want to control me or change me? And I'm like, oh,
I just I don't know.

Speaker 3 (21:52):
I would just like to bring me a little tell
me then.

Speaker 2 (21:55):
So this personality type is interesting because I don't know
much about you before I got to be introduced to
you on a bio and you're precious and amazing and
young and beautiful, but so doing reality TV is quite
the opposite of the way you grew up and kind
of like your path until the Bachelor.

Speaker 4 (22:13):
Yeah, yeah, it's so weird.

Speaker 3 (22:14):
How does that mix for you? I'm interested to know.

Speaker 2 (22:18):
And are you just watching some of these girls on
this cast like somebody needs to call their mother?

Speaker 4 (22:23):
Oh yeah, and people probably watched I mean definitely watched me.
And it's thought the same thing I think with pageants and
like the way that I was, I just felt this
need to be perfect all the time. I had this
obsession with and I was not even close to being perfect,
but I just had this obsession with it. And then
I go on reality TV and just kind of let
loose and got really drunk and was like a completely
different version of myself and twenty three, So just making

(22:45):
mistakes on television wasn't great.

Speaker 3 (22:48):
I love it you.

Speaker 2 (22:49):
I watched that season and I was just like, a
she's a doll, Like.

Speaker 3 (22:53):
I love her.

Speaker 2 (22:53):
Yeah, And what you did is you just went out
and you were a person. So I just wanted to
say that out loud, like that's all you did. You
just were person. I know that's hard for your sweet,
prim improper brain, but you just went out and did
what we all do, and so good for you.

Speaker 3 (23:06):
That's exciting.

Speaker 4 (23:08):
That makes me feel better. Thank you. Being with Dean too,
it really like I kind of let loose a little
bit on the show and then being with him, he
was like, why are you so obsessed with this perfection thing?
Like it's dumb, nobody's perfect, nobody judges you, and so like,
slowly over the past five years, I've been able to
just kind of like come into my own a little
bit more.

Speaker 2 (23:28):
Yeah, and he's helped you with that, So I think
that's really that's really sweet. Where was Dean raised?

Speaker 3 (23:32):
What? What do we know about Dean is hey Colorado?

Speaker 4 (23:35):
Yeah, so we just moved back to his hometown Colorado. Okay, yeah, yeah,
grew up like right outside of Aspens. So we just
moved there two weeks ago, back to his hometown.

Speaker 2 (23:44):
Not in a van, not in the van. Thank good
for you, woll that's exciting. What is y'all's fighting communication styles?
Like what do you guys do when you guys are
talking in a big fight about picking noses?

Speaker 3 (23:56):
Like how do you guys? How do you guys fight
your fighting.

Speaker 4 (23:59):
Fight and.

Speaker 3 (24:02):
Are you slamming doors?

Speaker 4 (24:04):
Are?

Speaker 2 (24:04):
Like?

Speaker 3 (24:05):
Is one a slammer?

Speaker 2 (24:05):
Is one? Like? I don't want to talk right now,
but I want to talk, like what is what is
y'all like fighting love style?

Speaker 4 (24:11):
So I am very like I have to think about
things before I can like fight them out, and he
wants to just get to the bottom of it immediately.
He's really good with words, really good at talking his
way out of things, and I'm just very emotional, so
I know I need a second. But if we are
fighting in the moment, he's going to win because I
just like can't wrap my head around things.

Speaker 2 (24:29):
Well, he has his points already in order, yes.

Speaker 4 (24:31):
And I'm like, I just need to think. And typically
like we're pretty good. We don't like yell or scream.
If someone raises a voice, we're like, okay, it's getting
the little I don't know. It's like fights between us
aren't crazy by any means. But then what really pisses
me off is after we have an argument, he be

(24:53):
good for you.

Speaker 3 (24:54):
Girl, pisses you off? See it again, Len, that's my girl?

Speaker 2 (24:58):
Yeah, come grab a drink there you go, crack the
crown off, sister.

Speaker 3 (25:04):
He pisses you off, going so Dean.

Speaker 4 (25:08):
Well, after we get into an argument, no matter like
how big or small, he shuts down and ices me
out for like oh how long it'll last like two
to three days, four days, five days, And I'm like
freaking talk to me, like this is bullsh that, like
I need to communicate with you.

Speaker 2 (25:21):
I sing as like one of my like I got
iced before and when I was dating someone, and that
I don't like that feeling because I'm I got the
abandonment stuff too, so I'm like they're leaving their you know,
and then there's just I don't like that, like just
talk to me, you know, like that's where we always did.
And I don't know something that you can, but I
learned from the therapists that you can use. But so

(25:43):
you have to set a time when you're going to
come back, Like I'm really frustrated right now. I need
twenty four hours or I need but it can never
be they say never over twenty four hours because past
that resentment, that's when resentment really kicks in. So it
has to be like I need five hours or I
need ten and then we're going to come together. But like,
you can't do the like past twenty four hours because
it's there's something they say in the brain that like

(26:05):
just yeah, it is bad for resentment. So did you
learn how to undo the resentment or twenty four hours?
But I think I have a couple banks.

Speaker 3 (26:14):
Shoot no, but they don't come back around. Yeah it
always did, so yeah, it does.

Speaker 2 (26:31):
Biggest misconception that people have of you because you're very
honest about you know, the pageant life and everything. But
what is your from everything that you've gone through and
been in the public ie with Dean and yourself on
the show. What is the biggest misconception about you?

Speaker 4 (26:47):
I think that I view myself from the show as
just being a bitch and like, oh I do I
think like, but I do think because I'm shy, because
I'm introverted, and because I internalize a lot of things
and just need to be alone Like I did that
in pageants. I just had like I had to have
my headphones and I had to just be in my
own head, which didn't end up working out for me.

(27:09):
But I think because I am those things, people just
think that I'm a bitch.

Speaker 3 (27:15):
Right, because you're not the like hey or yeah.

Speaker 4 (27:19):
I'm really good, like one on one or two on one,
but I'm not good in big groups, like I like
to watch people and take in information. But and that
definitely can come across in a bad way.

Speaker 3 (27:30):
Were you're doing great on one on three?

Speaker 4 (27:32):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (27:32):
Thanks, I feel like you're doing a great job. Amazing.
Is that hard for a dean?

Speaker 2 (27:36):
Because when when you go to that place, does he
feel like then he has to kind of defend you
and maybe be more extroverted because or be like, oh,
she's you know, like make I don't know, I make excuses,
but that would then piss me off to be like
I just am quiet, you know what I mean. I
don't like big groups, or you know, like why are
I'm tarting to defend? Does that ever go there?

Speaker 4 (27:57):
Yeah, he's he's really good about it, and he knows.
But we're both we both love alone time. That's how
we recharge. So he has to like go even harder
when I'm when I'm like that and when I'm unfamiliar
with people. So then he comes home and he's so
drained and can't talk, and I'm like ready and bubbly,
and I'm like, what do you mean? You have no energy?
And it's because he has to put on even harder.

Speaker 2 (28:19):
Hm.

Speaker 3 (28:19):
That makes sense.

Speaker 2 (28:20):
That's an interesting dynamic considering how public everything is for
both of you.

Speaker 3 (28:25):
Yeah, that's a lot. Yeah, it is, it is.

Speaker 4 (28:28):
And it's like COVID, I feel like has changed both
of us so much. With we're even more introverted, we
love alone time even more, and it's it's hard. I
don't know. I feel like I'm such a different person
from you know, twenty nineteen Kalin to now twenty twenty four.

Speaker 3 (28:44):
Same and I'm not twenty eight.

Speaker 2 (28:47):
The other day Alan was gone for five days and
I was like, baby, I missed you so much five days.
And Cain's like that had been my dream.

Speaker 1 (28:55):
Literally, what you're saying is like me to a tea alone, please?

Speaker 3 (28:59):
You want to talk to Ale in a room?

Speaker 2 (29:00):
Absolutely not, which then you get categorized as slightly more.

Speaker 3 (29:05):
People think I'm a bitch too. I mean, I hear you.

Speaker 1 (29:07):
I mean, but it's like you just kind of shut
down and it kind of becomes like self preservation, you know,
and it's like, I mean, I hear you. I'm the
same way, but I've just gotten to a fact a
point where I'm just like people are going to think
what they think and if they're talking to me one
on one, I'm going to have a conversation. It's not
like I'm gonna but I just might not seek everyone
out in a room I might need to.

Speaker 4 (29:27):
I definitely have that shut down to where it's like
I've had enough. I've had too many people. And my
best friends at least know it. They're like, oh, Caitlin's gone,
and I'm like, yeah, I just I can't do it.

Speaker 2 (29:38):
That's a really appreciating special thing to know about yourself, though,
as young as you are, I think, because I think
it took me people pleasing well into mid thirties before
I realize, like, I just don't do well with that
and I need a minute.

Speaker 3 (29:51):
So good for you. It's trying to make up for that.

Speaker 1 (29:54):
Yeah, if it's like you, you feel like you have
to kind of like make up for that the people
pleasing part of it, because I had that too, even
with friends. Even with friends, it's like I still think
sometimes people, you know, I've just now gotten to a
point where it's like, you know what, Like I can say, no,
I just want to be home tonight. Yeah, I don't
have to have a reason.

Speaker 3 (30:14):
I don't think my defaults. I did that right, a
real part. But I think a lot of that's hard
for a.

Speaker 1 (30:19):
Lot of people, you know, and I think that that's
but that's part of my figuring out. I'm almost forty,
and you know what, It's like, this is what I
need to like be okay, and that's part of my self,
love and myself, and so I just I have to
preserve that and I have to do that for myself.

Speaker 3 (30:36):
Where's the adjustment moving now? So you live in Colorado?

Speaker 2 (30:39):
Now, yes, okay, that's a big adjustment, just if you
came from anywhere. Colorado is like its own thing, right right?
Are you loving it? I'm a scale from one to ten.

Speaker 4 (30:48):
Oh yeah, like eleven. I love it so much. Yeah,
we were Dean was in LA for about ten years.
I was in LA for five to six years, and
then we were in maybe less than that, I don't know, La,
than Vegas. And we moved from Vegas to Colorado. And
Vegas was like because we weren't quite ready to get
rid of La just yet and let go of our
friends and the life there. So Vegas was easy because

(31:10):
it's like a thirty minute flight, four hour drive. And
once we moved there, We're like, oh, we don't actually
need la, like we can go further. So that's two
weeks ago moved out there.

Speaker 2 (31:20):
Yeah, that's like opposite day actually, Yeah, Vegas and Colorado.
I mean you really were like, you know what, actually
just flip it and reverse it.

Speaker 4 (31:27):
Yeah, I actually don't like warmth. But no, it's it's
been really good.

Speaker 2 (31:31):
So before we talk about the podcast, I want to
go back to the very beginning of when you were
on Colton's season and I remember, so I did a
movie with Cassie. She had like a little day player
role in the last movie that I was in, and
I was just like, I gotta ask you because if
I'm on that show. And again, I love Colton. I
think he's great, and I'm so happy that he's living

(31:53):
in the life that like you know that he wants
to be living in who he is and being you know,
true to himself. But before that, did you feel a
little duped when he did come out like, hey, I
went there with my open heart and to try and
find love, and like you kind of did you feel duped?

Speaker 3 (32:09):
I guess.

Speaker 4 (32:11):
I don't think I did. Like a lot of people
were asking me that and trying to be like, you know,
there were thirty women on the show who you know,
I don't. I don't know, and I just like, honestly
forget that. I was on the show so much that
it never really registers. And he was with Cassie. Cassie
and I had such a close friendship, so I was

(32:32):
more concerned of like her well being sure.

Speaker 3 (32:35):
Yeah, yeah, that makes sense, all right.

Speaker 2 (32:37):
Podcast, So you are doing a podcast with Ashley Ey's
hubby Jared, and then you and Dean. So that's gotta
be fun, right.

Speaker 4 (32:46):
Yeah, it's fun. It presents its own challenges, but it's fun.

Speaker 3 (32:50):
Challenges which ones go for it? What about? What is bullshit?
Say it? Kaylin?

Speaker 4 (32:58):
So the guys just like to real about sports and
it's just so I'm just over it, like ramble for
like thirty minutes. And then if Deane and I get
into an argument, like a little tiff, you know something,
we woke up, we're cranky, said the wrong thing, and
then we have to like put on this front, which
which happens in public too, like if there's someone who
watched The Bachelor and they're like, oh, I love you guys,

(33:19):
and we just happened to be in this weird space.
We just have to kind of perform. So I don't
love that, but that it's rare that it happens, but
it definitely does come up.

Speaker 2 (33:29):
There was nothing worse than doing in my podcast with
my ex husband because we obviously we fought all the
damn time.

Speaker 3 (33:39):
Yeah, it was a good fight. It was a good fight.
But Amazon someone posted their day about it. I'm like,
let me, let me spoil it for you. Let me
of that book. It is not a limited serious.

Speaker 2 (33:54):
But it was like it was so hard for us
to show up, and it was awful for the producer
because I was just like that, like it to work
with your person when you're fighting is a really tough
place to be in.

Speaker 3 (34:07):
So I definitely empathize with with that.

Speaker 4 (34:10):
Oh it's fine. I mean only once it was really
bad because I don't even remember what we were fighting about.
But he picked his butt. Yeah, like I don't know
what it was. I did show appreciation or whatever, and.

Speaker 3 (34:28):
But you need to come here. What are you doing
on that? But I love it guys.

Speaker 2 (34:33):
I will say this one thing really fast. But the
guys really want to be appreciated for the things. And
I'm like, he's like I have a dishwasher. I'm like, oh,
didn't you.

Speaker 3 (34:40):
I was like, well, Dad did the luncher this, X
Y and Z.

Speaker 2 (34:43):
I was like, guys, I was like Joeli and jays Alan,
it is amazing, abody, thank you.

Speaker 3 (34:49):
It's incredible how much validation is needed.

Speaker 2 (34:52):
So we're doing laps like literally, I'm like, well you
did that, I produced and gave birth to a whole
human and you're still on silverware. Yeah, but I make
sure every time I was like, thanks baby for doing
the dishes, but a.

Speaker 4 (35:06):
Little bit.

Speaker 2 (35:07):
But that's that's the thing, right there, Guys. Really, that's
like what they need. They need to like really be
like thank you so much and like the appreciation, yes,
but go ahead. So you didn't say thank you for something,
appreciation whatever.

Speaker 4 (35:23):
It was. It was a fight and he like got
in late and we were arguing. I was like, okay,
sorry I didn't say thank you. And then the next
morning we wake up, he's still upset and we do
the podcast and we actually this is only one time
it happened, but we had to close the podcast. Like
I felt so bad for our producers, Like just I
started crying.

Speaker 3 (35:40):
It's not their first time. Trust they've been with me, I.

Speaker 2 (35:45):
Promised.

Speaker 3 (35:48):
They're like, oh, this is only like at a level one,
totally fine.

Speaker 4 (35:52):
Trust I was mortified, and nobody brought it up, like
Jared never said a word producers.

Speaker 3 (35:57):
I was like, oh, sorry, it's life though.

Speaker 2 (36:01):
That's the thing, Like it's to be on a platform,
a public platform to do you know, it's it's it's
just life.

Speaker 3 (36:08):
A lot of people.

Speaker 2 (36:09):
I was watching the Kardashians, but Chloe was just like,
people make mistakes all the time. Y'alls are just on
or the fights that people have, fights all the time.
It's just y'alls are on a platform and then in
public and you have to do things like this. It's hard,
you know, but I think it's that's why therapy is great,
to be able to go and have that space and
get it all out. And I think you're honesty. I mean,

(36:30):
that's what everyone is tuning in like they already love you,
you know, so just who you are is what they
love and what they want to listen to. But now
I'm really excited to listen to soccers though, because now
I want to I want to see the dynamics between
I don't respectfully want to listen to another dude talk
about sports for thirty minutes because I'm my.

Speaker 3 (36:48):
Own at home, but she can head down.

Speaker 2 (36:50):
I'm all in for your sweet nose picking because you
should work on it should be.

Speaker 3 (36:57):
I mean, you guys really need to dig deep. No
pun intended. I didn't mean, Chris, We really do though.
I mean there's a real opportunity to be in this
there and it could help you too. Oh yeah, this
is the other tissue? Would you feel different? Oh, I've tried.

Speaker 4 (37:10):
I've tried. I was like, do you know that tissues?

Speaker 3 (37:15):
Here's a hanky. I mean, my southern best her to
come to Nashville the next time we come in Nashville.

Speaker 2 (37:21):
It's just please, that would be great. What else can
listeners listen to on Tuckers.

Speaker 4 (37:28):
Yeah, so we just, you know, rebranded, and we're all
talking about things that we're passionate about. The three of
us come together, but I'm talking about pop culture books,
things that I'm loving currently. Dean is obviously really great
at everything travel related, so he's just recapping his trips
and how to travel in an affordable way, and Jared
is talking about being a dad. So it's it's fun

(37:49):
that we all have our little mini podcast within it.

Speaker 2 (37:52):
I love that so much. Right, you're a sweetheart. Glad
we got to chat. And yeah, whenever you're in Nashville,
just give a little d M.

Speaker 5 (38:01):
We're here. Oh we need to go to Aspen when Yeah,
we'll be there on the.

Speaker 3 (38:14):
All right, you're the best girl. Thank you so much.
Appreciate you, guys. By she's a doll like precious. I
love her. She's so so isn't being grateful or whatever?

Speaker 2 (38:30):
I was like, Okay, I said, sorry, whatever, Oh, it's
too good.

Speaker 3 (38:38):
I would I would be annoyed if nose picking. Oh yeah, no,
I went like that.

Speaker 2 (38:43):
I'm trying to think there wasn't. I had an ex
with a weird thing, and I think it's good that
I don't remember it anymore, but I remember that there
was something always that. I was like, if he does
that one more time?

Speaker 3 (38:53):
What are you thinking about, Jane?

Speaker 2 (38:54):
You're thinking about it something I'm thinking about a group
text right now that's between me, Julie and Pam because
we I can't say it.

Speaker 3 (39:01):
I'm here, it's rude.

Speaker 4 (39:04):
Let me.

Speaker 2 (39:06):
And les A running her decks savage. Yeah, I'm like,
I'm trying to see how I can like go around it.
Maybe and like, but I think some group messages are
just just left to not be Please again to Leo's
on the.

Speaker 3 (39:22):
Sage, Yeah, whoa walk into a bar?

Speaker 2 (39:25):
Anyways, all right, y'all, see you later.
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