September 14, 2023 • 17 mins
How do you become a true “badass”?? Jana is hanging out with motivational speaker and author Jen Sincero for some tips on completely transforming your life!
Jen shares advice on beating self-doubt, how to make more money, and how to surround yourself with people that motivate you!
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
On this week's Whine About It Therapy Thursday, We've got
Jen Sincero. So. She's a number one New York Times
bestselling author, speaker, motivational speaker. She's helped countless people transform
their personal and professional lives via her products, speaking engagements.
Her number one New York Times bestseller You Are a Badass.
How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an
(00:28):
Awesome Life, has remained on the New York Times Bestseller
list for over five years to sold over five million
copies worldwide. Let's get her on the show.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Hey girl, Hey, how's it going.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
How are you?
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Who are you?
Speaker 2 (00:42):
I'm good. Well. I am so excited to get you
onto the show because, first of all, obviously your book
or was just reading the Rundown and how it's been
on the New York Times bestseller list over five years,
which is an insane feat like that. I mean, that's
that's incredible.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
I don't know, I'm just shocked and so grateful and yeah,
it's a miracle, it really is.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
I mean, in the land of miracles, that is definitely
one of them.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Why do you think it's staying there that long. Like,
what do you think people are like really getting from
the book that you're like, yes, this makes sense.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Why I think that it's because, you know, I know,
at the beginning, it was because it was sort of
the first one that was a little reverend and used
curse words and really used stories and sort of took
the whole self help genre in a new direction. And
now there are countless books doing the same thing. So
(01:40):
I don't know why it stayed on, because they certainly
are other ones that are doing But I think that
it was such a shocker and there are a lot
of people out there who couldn't relate to the other
self help books. So if you read this and you're like,
oh my god, you're saying it in a way that
I can actually hear it, I'm going to buy it
forty of my friends. And that's how we got on
the list in the first place. I mean, we didn't
hit the bestseller list till three years after published, and
(02:00):
then it just stayed out.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Oh wow, that's interesting lolow build yeah, it was.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
It was a total grassroots effort.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Okay, So with your book, I think one of the
things that I've had a hard time like with you know,
it's like you're you are a bad us? How to
stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life?
For me, self doubt is a thing that has killed
everything for me, whether it's you know, right about to
film an audition, I'm like, oh, nope, this part isn't
(02:29):
right for me. It's I'm not going to get it.
I immediately count myself out of something before I even
do it, and it's I and I hate that, Like,
I don't like that part about me. I'm like, why
don't I go in more positive? Why do I immediately
doubt myself? Why do you think? Why do you think
people do that?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Well, first of all, I want to say, the important
thing is that you do it anyway.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
So the self doubts there.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
But if you're doing it anyway, that really, truly is
the most important piece. And I think we do it
because we compare ourselves to others really spend so especially
now like it's gotten, it's it's a problem now. I mean,
but social media, we're all constantly comparing ourselves to other people.
So there's always going to be people that you feel
like are better than you, that have it more down
(03:14):
than you that have more experience, that are prettier, they're
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. So there's no
end of self comparison. And I think that has a
lot to do with self doubt. I also think if
you're brave enough to go outside of your comfort zone
and do something you've never done, that's a natural state
to sort of doubt yourself. And so I think in
the book one of the things that I really try
to hammer home is the self doubt is going to
(03:37):
be there, but you can sort of battle it by
having a much funner attitude, just to like, just just
see what you can get away with. Who cares if
you've got self doubt, you know, just see if you
can get this part. Just see if you can charge
six figures for your next painting, Just see if you know,
just see if you can get away with it. I mean,
we're on a planet in infinite space. It's all ridiculous anyway,
(03:58):
So why make such drama out of everything? And why
drag yourself down with these you know, with these quote unquote,
you know, these beliefs, which are just thoughts that you
keep thinking over and over and over. You have the
power to think something else and that can create a
new belief. So it's really important to pay attention to
what you're buying into in your own mind and just
(04:19):
knock it out of it with something that's fun or funnier.
I'm just gonna see and if I fall flat on
my face, who cares?
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Is it almost like a fake it till you make
it kind of then attitude it.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Is And it's yes, definitely, And it's more just have
fun until you make it, like just try it until
you make it. Just get off your own back until
you make it, you know.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Okay, But for the person that's like has a hard
time having fun because they're so structured in work, or
like I think I can go that way too, or
I'm just like it, I can have a lot of fun,
but I'm also like I have all these tasks I
have to do and I have to take care of this, X,
Y and Z, so that I'm like, Okay, I can
do that, But then I'm like, I don't even I
(05:02):
think the play element I lack doing that too.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Do you enjoy anything about your job.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
When I'm on set working? Absolutely, But I think it's
the like I set myself up going I'm just not
going to get this, and like, yeah, the playing part
of it, yeah, I would love to just like play
around and try, but I'm like, oh, I don't have
time for this or I get it. It's like I don't,
I don't. I don't put in maybe the work that
needs to be put in to it. And because I'm
just like I already again, I'm already counting myself out.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Well, I would recommend just sort of staying attached to
your why, Like why you're doing this work in the
first place is for something that is fun and that
lights you up and that you're drawn to. And if
you can, instead of getting meyered down and the to
do of it and how bad you are at it
and how you're going to fail and whatever you've got
going on, stay with the excitement of the why, and
(05:59):
before you sit down to do any other stuff you
got to do, connect to that and just fantasize about
yourself getting the part or whatever it is, and get
that energy up, because we really everything is energy, and
if you go into it with a more excited energy,
it's going to make a huge difference.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
I know, and I know all that too, And I
think it's just I think for me, it stems more like,
you know, because I'm still believing maybe past messages that
other people told me. Right, So it's like I let
those things affect maybe some of my daily things that
I do because I was told that I couldn't do that,
or that I wouldn't get something, or that I'm not
(06:37):
good enough or something. So that's the message that I'm like, Oh,
then what's the point.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Well, that's the work we all have to do. I mean,
we're all blocked some garbage that we picked up along
the way. That's not true. So become aware of what
the actual stuff is. And when it comes up, then
you just really be like, oh, look at me. Here,
I am thinking this negative thing again.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
That's not true.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
It's just something somebody told me, and I can make
a choice to not focus on it anymore.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
I mean, seriously, I tell my clients to focus on puppies.
When that happens, Like it's hard to suddenly go from.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
You know, if you're an I don't know if you're
an actress, but like you know that I'm okay, I'm
not going to get this part.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
And because I'm to whatever and.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
To being like I am going to get this part
because I'm brilliant. Like, if you've got a lot of
momentum going in the direction of it, you're not going
to get it. It's very hard to suddenly like turn
it around and be like I'm going to get it
and believe that, right, sure, So the key is to
just stop focusing on them I'm not going to get
it part, just to distract yourself. And I'm just like
puppies or nature or a good song, like just don't
(07:41):
even think about it. Stop giving it so much damn
energy and slow it down and then you can change it.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
How did you become a badass? Like when?
Speaker 1 (07:49):
How?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Why did you write this book? Like what was something
in your life? Whe're like, this needs to be said.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Because I was living in a garage. I was making
like they five thousand dollars a year. I was in
my forties, living in a garage, feeling like a gigantic loser,
and I ended up tripling my income in three months
and then suddenly now money is not even an issue
for me anymore. And so the fact that my broke
(08:17):
ass was able to really make such an impossible shift,
I mean, money was always always always a big problem
in my life, and I felt like, if I can
do that, if my forty year old like dedicated to
the poverty identity can change that around, then I have
something to share with other people. And also in the
(08:38):
process of turning my life around, I read every self
help book under the sun. And I was a writer
before I was a coach or any of this, and
so I was always just like, you know, this information
is changing my life. It's incredible, But how come none
of it's funny? And how come none of it is
said and in a way that I want to hear
it said?
Speaker 2 (08:55):
So then you're like, I'm going to write this really awesome,
funny book that everyone can relate to that doesn't want
to just hear the like therapist speaking words. You want
to hear the like you know, stop it, you're a badass,
all the things that like people can actually relate to.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Words and just in my own voice, like I just
felt like I want to tell it very truthfully the
way I went through it, and I think people can
relate to it because I was such a train wreck
for so long that I could feel their pain wherever
they were.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
How did you get there? Like you know, you go
from the garage to the like what led you to that,
and then the moment where you were like, wait a minute,
I have to get out of this.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
I made the decision, and it's kind of an unsatisfactory
answer for a lot of people. But it wasn't like
I almost got evicted or I got sick, or you know,
I finally did something.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
I just I honest.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
It's really first of all boring to be broke you
can't do anything. But more importantly, I was like, seriously, Jen,
this is your one shot at being you on planet Earth,
and you're gonna spend it wallowing in this quagmire of
self doubt and loseriness and everybody else. So it was
more just like I felt deep inside that I was like,
(10:21):
I can do better than this. So I started reading
all the self help books. I started going to every
money making seminar I could find, and believe me, I
was like in a rock band.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
I was super cool. I was like, this self helped
stuff is so gooey, and if.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Anybody sees me at one of these things, my cred
is blown.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
But that's what happens.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
When you make a decision, you do whatever the hell
it takes no matter how uncomfortable it was. And everything
was uncomfortable. And then I hired a coach, and that
was you know. I put her on She costs one
third of my annual income, and I put her on
a credit card because I was.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Not screwing around.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
I was like, I've been trying this on my own
for forty years and I clearly suck at it.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
So I got up my game and then she helped
me triple my income.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Very quickly with the book.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Oh, the book didn't happen. I had You Are a
Badass is my third book. So I had already written
and published two other books on yeah, with major pubblishers.
So she taught me how to start an online coaching business,
coaching entrepreneurs how to write and sell their nonfiction book proposals.
And so even that was like, oh, I'm going to
(11:23):
be the nonfiction book proposal lady like snore, like that's
you know, I'm cool. I've got all this other stuff
I want to do. But she's like, listen, you're getting started.
You got to get out of your debt so that
you can think strange. She's like, would you rather be broken?
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Cooler? Rich? And cheesy?
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Because I thought all the online stuff was so cheesy
and all that stuff. I was like, I'll take rich
and cheesy. And then I started writing all of my
marketing and you know, all the stuff I was doing
in my own voice, and that's sort of how I
was like, oh, I can sort of meld this online
marketing world, which is typically you know, a certain way,
and make it sort of edgier, which was my own.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
And that's sort of what I did with the self
help stuff too.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
That's so cool. I mean it's inspiring too, because I
feel like, you know, I'm going to be forty in
a couple months, and you're just like, well, I'm like, well,
I don't know if I should start that. But it's
like it's never too late to start anything ever, you know.
And it's like it's just sometimes just it might just
look like a mountain, you know, and you're like, you
(12:23):
just got all right, you gotta just you gotta start climbing,
because you know, if you I don't like to live
with regrets ee there. So I'm like, I gotta like,
I gotta try. And I'm always constantly like throwing things
at dark boards and like seeing what sticks. But it's again,
it's that that self doubt that I have to like
overcoming it. But again I think that's it's that's everybody now,
especially with social media and comparing yourself and so that's
(12:47):
that's hard. But are there any tips in that You
Are a Badass book that you're like, these are some
amazing takeaways that will help with being of you know,
being the great, like owning your greatness.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
The whole book everything.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
But you know, and so for self doubt, like you
just said, with social media, it seems like social media
is a big one, you know, for you and for
most people.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
If that really is a big one, get off social media,
like go.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
On just to post your stuff, just to like sometimes
we need to be on our business, but don't spend
time there. If that's the thing that brings you down,
knock it off, Like it's not that big a mystery.
A lot of the stuff we just like to pretend
that we don't know what it is for whatever reason.
Like you know, if you want to lose weight, don't
eat a lot of fattening food.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
But we just do it anyway. So this is why
what I was saying about, like focusing on your why
is so important.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
So you know, if you really want to feel good
and confident, I call it going to the spiritual Jim.
I talking a lot about it a lot in all
of my books, where you've got to have some kind
of practice down. You just can't wake up every morning
and wing it and hope it's going to change. You've
got to catch yourself in your limiting thoughts and beliefs
and words. Right, So whatever your broken record is, catch
(14:03):
it and write it down and look at it and
be like, Okay, this is the thing that is stopping
me all the time. So when it comes up, I
am going to think about puppies, and I'm going to
think about puppies until I've diffused it a little bit,
and then I'm going to start turning it around, being
like I'm a great actress who cares like there's so
many other people out there who are killing it or
are far less.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
Fabulous than I am.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Right, So you can start turning it around and knock
it off. Get a really solid spiritual gym practice in place,
where you know meditation. I'm a huge meditation fan, because
that's how you really stop all those thoughts. They say,
you know, ninety percent of the thoughts we think are
thoughts we think every day, and that's how they become
(14:41):
and that's how we.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
Form our reality. What you think creates your reality.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Right now, there are gazillion things I could focus on,
but I tend to focus on the same things over
and over because I have an identity and I am
in the habit of thought when you catch yourself and
make different choices. And I remember when I was starting
out with all this, I was so irritated by the
idea that like, your thoughts, your words, and your beliefs
create your reality, right And I was like, it can't
(15:06):
be that hard. I cannot be living in a garage
at the age of forty and that's all I gotta do.
But it absolutely is, because your thoughts, your beliefs, and
your words create your actions. So it's it all, it really,
it's all. It's all combined. So you start by paying
attention to thoughts, polition, words, you get a spiritual gym
(15:28):
practice down.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
I'm talking really quickly where you raise your frequency.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
So meditating reading self help books every day for like
five minutes doesn't.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
Need to be a big whoopie do.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Listening to music that pumps you up, hanging out with
other people who are kicking button instead of other people
that you can sit around and whine with about how
hard everything and how much it sucks. Staying off social media.
You know, there's endless things you can do, walking in nature.
I'm a big hiker. I'm a big nature person that,
you know, hanging out with my dog, you know, whatever.
It is, getting coaching, but you've got to treat it
(16:05):
like your life depends on it, because it really truly does.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
And I'm talking.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Like a half hour a day where you work out
that muscle of that frequency, because motivation and self worth
is a muscle, and if you don't work it out,
it's like going to the gym, you lose your physical mass.
So you've got to you got to work it out.
You got to pay attention to it, you got to
make it, make it a really important deal for you.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Yeah, what would be the next book that you would
want to write?
Speaker 1 (16:31):
I really don't know right now, honestly, Like I just
you know, Badass Habits came out in twenty twenty, which was.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
So long ago already I was like, I just wrote
a book. I was like, actually it's been years.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
Yeah, So you know, I wait until I'm really inspired
when it comes to books, and I have a couple
ideas floating around, but nothing that I can't shake off
my leg just yet.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
So I'm sharing did because I feel like there's you know,
there's probably so many things that you're like, I've already
I've already and already said because it's all right there.
I mean everything that you're saying, I'm like, yeah, like
that's it. You You already kind of have your Bible,
so now these are just going to be little roots
that come off.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Of it and more, and you can always go deeper
and you can always say it in a different way.
I mean, how many times have you read the same
I mean I read self help books all the time,
and I'll read the same one over and over and
I'll get different things every single time I read it.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
So same with writing.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
I can always find news ways to say it that
will hopefully get the message across.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Jen, Where could our listeners find you?
Speaker 1 (17:31):
You are a Badass dot com and also Jen Sincero
dot com, j E N s I N c E
r O dot com.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Awesome, Thank you so much, Jenn, I appreciate that.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Thanks a lot.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Thanks for coming on, girl, okay,
Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
On this week's Whine About It Therapy Thursday, We've got
Jen Sincero. So. She's a number one New York Times
bestselling author, speaker, motivational speaker. She's helped countless people transform
their personal and professional lives via her products, speaking engagements.
Her number one New York Times bestseller You Are a Badass.
How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an
(00:28):
Awesome Life, has remained on the New York Times Bestseller
list for over five years to sold over five million
copies worldwide. Let's get her on the show.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Hey girl, Hey, how's it going.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
How are you?
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Who are you?
Speaker 2 (00:42):
I'm good. Well. I am so excited to get you
onto the show because, first of all, obviously your book
or was just reading the Rundown and how it's been
on the New York Times bestseller list over five years,
which is an insane feat like that. I mean, that's
that's incredible.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
I don't know, I'm just shocked and so grateful and yeah,
it's a miracle, it really is.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
I mean, in the land of miracles, that is definitely
one of them.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Why do you think it's staying there that long. Like,
what do you think people are like really getting from
the book that you're like, yes, this makes sense.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Why I think that it's because, you know, I know,
at the beginning, it was because it was sort of
the first one that was a little reverend and used
curse words and really used stories and sort of took
the whole self help genre in a new direction. And
now there are countless books doing the same thing. So
(01:40):
I don't know why it stayed on, because they certainly
are other ones that are doing But I think that
it was such a shocker and there are a lot
of people out there who couldn't relate to the other
self help books. So if you read this and you're like,
oh my god, you're saying it in a way that
I can actually hear it, I'm going to buy it
forty of my friends. And that's how we got on
the list in the first place. I mean, we didn't
hit the bestseller list till three years after published, and
(02:00):
then it just stayed out.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Oh wow, that's interesting lolow build yeah, it was.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
It was a total grassroots effort.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Okay, So with your book, I think one of the
things that I've had a hard time like with you know,
it's like you're you are a bad us? How to
stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life?
For me, self doubt is a thing that has killed
everything for me, whether it's you know, right about to
film an audition, I'm like, oh, nope, this part isn't
(02:29):
right for me. It's I'm not going to get it.
I immediately count myself out of something before I even
do it, and it's I and I hate that, Like,
I don't like that part about me. I'm like, why
don't I go in more positive? Why do I immediately
doubt myself? Why do you think? Why do you think
people do that?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Well, first of all, I want to say, the important
thing is that you do it anyway.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
So the self doubts there.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
But if you're doing it anyway, that really, truly is
the most important piece. And I think we do it
because we compare ourselves to others really spend so especially
now like it's gotten, it's it's a problem now. I mean,
but social media, we're all constantly comparing ourselves to other people.
So there's always going to be people that you feel
like are better than you, that have it more down
(03:14):
than you that have more experience, that are prettier, they're
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. So there's no
end of self comparison. And I think that has a
lot to do with self doubt. I also think if
you're brave enough to go outside of your comfort zone
and do something you've never done, that's a natural state
to sort of doubt yourself. And so I think in
the book one of the things that I really try
to hammer home is the self doubt is going to
(03:37):
be there, but you can sort of battle it by
having a much funner attitude, just to like, just just
see what you can get away with. Who cares if
you've got self doubt, you know, just see if you
can get this part. Just see if you can charge
six figures for your next painting, Just see if you know,
just see if you can get away with it. I mean,
we're on a planet in infinite space. It's all ridiculous anyway,
(03:58):
So why make such drama out of everything? And why
drag yourself down with these you know, with these quote unquote,
you know, these beliefs, which are just thoughts that you
keep thinking over and over and over. You have the
power to think something else and that can create a
new belief. So it's really important to pay attention to
what you're buying into in your own mind and just
(04:19):
knock it out of it with something that's fun or funnier.
I'm just gonna see and if I fall flat on
my face, who cares?
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Is it almost like a fake it till you make
it kind of then attitude it.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Is And it's yes, definitely, And it's more just have
fun until you make it, like just try it until
you make it. Just get off your own back until
you make it, you know.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Okay, But for the person that's like has a hard
time having fun because they're so structured in work, or
like I think I can go that way too, or
I'm just like it, I can have a lot of fun,
but I'm also like I have all these tasks I
have to do and I have to take care of this, X,
Y and Z, so that I'm like, Okay, I can
do that, But then I'm like, I don't even I
(05:02):
think the play element I lack doing that too.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Do you enjoy anything about your job.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
When I'm on set working? Absolutely, But I think it's
the like I set myself up going I'm just not
going to get this, and like, yeah, the playing part
of it, yeah, I would love to just like play
around and try, but I'm like, oh, I don't have
time for this or I get it. It's like I don't,
I don't. I don't put in maybe the work that
needs to be put in to it. And because I'm
just like I already again, I'm already counting myself out.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Well, I would recommend just sort of staying attached to
your why, Like why you're doing this work in the
first place is for something that is fun and that
lights you up and that you're drawn to. And if
you can, instead of getting meyered down and the to
do of it and how bad you are at it
and how you're going to fail and whatever you've got
going on, stay with the excitement of the why, and
(05:59):
before you sit down to do any other stuff you
got to do, connect to that and just fantasize about
yourself getting the part or whatever it is, and get
that energy up, because we really everything is energy, and
if you go into it with a more excited energy,
it's going to make a huge difference.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
I know, and I know all that too, And I
think it's just I think for me, it stems more like,
you know, because I'm still believing maybe past messages that
other people told me. Right, So it's like I let
those things affect maybe some of my daily things that
I do because I was told that I couldn't do that,
or that I wouldn't get something, or that I'm not
(06:37):
good enough or something. So that's the message that I'm like, Oh,
then what's the point.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Well, that's the work we all have to do. I mean,
we're all blocked some garbage that we picked up along
the way. That's not true. So become aware of what
the actual stuff is. And when it comes up, then
you just really be like, oh, look at me. Here,
I am thinking this negative thing again.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
That's not true.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
It's just something somebody told me, and I can make
a choice to not focus on it anymore.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
I mean, seriously, I tell my clients to focus on puppies.
When that happens, Like it's hard to suddenly go from.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
You know, if you're an I don't know if you're
an actress, but like you know that I'm okay, I'm
not going to get this part.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
And because I'm to whatever and.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
To being like I am going to get this part
because I'm brilliant. Like, if you've got a lot of
momentum going in the direction of it, you're not going
to get it. It's very hard to suddenly like turn
it around and be like I'm going to get it
and believe that, right, sure, So the key is to
just stop focusing on them I'm not going to get
it part, just to distract yourself. And I'm just like
puppies or nature or a good song, like just don't
(07:41):
even think about it. Stop giving it so much damn
energy and slow it down and then you can change it.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
How did you become a badass? Like when?
Speaker 1 (07:49):
How?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Why did you write this book? Like what was something
in your life? Whe're like, this needs to be said.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Because I was living in a garage. I was making
like they five thousand dollars a year. I was in
my forties, living in a garage, feeling like a gigantic loser,
and I ended up tripling my income in three months
and then suddenly now money is not even an issue
for me anymore. And so the fact that my broke
(08:17):
ass was able to really make such an impossible shift,
I mean, money was always always always a big problem
in my life, and I felt like, if I can
do that, if my forty year old like dedicated to
the poverty identity can change that around, then I have
something to share with other people. And also in the
(08:38):
process of turning my life around, I read every self
help book under the sun. And I was a writer
before I was a coach or any of this, and
so I was always just like, you know, this information
is changing my life. It's incredible, But how come none
of it's funny? And how come none of it is
said and in a way that I want to hear
it said?
Speaker 2 (08:55):
So then you're like, I'm going to write this really awesome,
funny book that everyone can relate to that doesn't want
to just hear the like therapist speaking words. You want
to hear the like you know, stop it, you're a badass,
all the things that like people can actually relate to.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Words and just in my own voice, like I just
felt like I want to tell it very truthfully the
way I went through it, and I think people can
relate to it because I was such a train wreck
for so long that I could feel their pain wherever
they were.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
How did you get there? Like you know, you go
from the garage to the like what led you to that,
and then the moment where you were like, wait a minute,
I have to get out of this.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
I made the decision, and it's kind of an unsatisfactory
answer for a lot of people. But it wasn't like
I almost got evicted or I got sick, or you know,
I finally did something.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
I just I honest.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
It's really first of all boring to be broke you
can't do anything. But more importantly, I was like, seriously, Jen,
this is your one shot at being you on planet Earth,
and you're gonna spend it wallowing in this quagmire of
self doubt and loseriness and everybody else. So it was
more just like I felt deep inside that I was like,
(10:21):
I can do better than this. So I started reading
all the self help books. I started going to every
money making seminar I could find, and believe me, I
was like in a rock band.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
I was super cool. I was like, this self helped
stuff is so gooey, and if.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Anybody sees me at one of these things, my cred
is blown.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
But that's what happens.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
When you make a decision, you do whatever the hell
it takes no matter how uncomfortable it was. And everything
was uncomfortable. And then I hired a coach, and that
was you know. I put her on She costs one
third of my annual income, and I put her on
a credit card because I was.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Not screwing around.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
I was like, I've been trying this on my own
for forty years and I clearly suck at it.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
So I got up my game and then she helped
me triple my income.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Very quickly with the book.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Oh, the book didn't happen. I had You Are a
Badass is my third book. So I had already written
and published two other books on yeah, with major pubblishers.
So she taught me how to start an online coaching business,
coaching entrepreneurs how to write and sell their nonfiction book proposals.
And so even that was like, oh, I'm going to
(11:23):
be the nonfiction book proposal lady like snore, like that's
you know, I'm cool. I've got all this other stuff
I want to do. But she's like, listen, you're getting started.
You got to get out of your debt so that
you can think strange. She's like, would you rather be broken?
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Cooler? Rich? And cheesy?
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Because I thought all the online stuff was so cheesy
and all that stuff. I was like, I'll take rich
and cheesy. And then I started writing all of my
marketing and you know, all the stuff I was doing
in my own voice, and that's sort of how I
was like, oh, I can sort of meld this online
marketing world, which is typically you know, a certain way,
and make it sort of edgier, which was my own.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
And that's sort of what I did with the self
help stuff too.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
That's so cool. I mean it's inspiring too, because I
feel like, you know, I'm going to be forty in
a couple months, and you're just like, well, I'm like, well,
I don't know if I should start that. But it's
like it's never too late to start anything ever, you know.
And it's like it's just sometimes just it might just
look like a mountain, you know, and you're like, you
(12:23):
just got all right, you gotta just you gotta start climbing,
because you know, if you I don't like to live
with regrets ee there. So I'm like, I gotta like,
I gotta try. And I'm always constantly like throwing things
at dark boards and like seeing what sticks. But it's again,
it's that that self doubt that I have to like
overcoming it. But again I think that's it's that's everybody now,
especially with social media and comparing yourself and so that's
(12:47):
that's hard. But are there any tips in that You
Are a Badass book that you're like, these are some
amazing takeaways that will help with being of you know,
being the great, like owning your greatness.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
The whole book everything.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
But you know, and so for self doubt, like you
just said, with social media, it seems like social media
is a big one, you know, for you and for
most people.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
If that really is a big one, get off social media,
like go.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
On just to post your stuff, just to like sometimes
we need to be on our business, but don't spend
time there. If that's the thing that brings you down,
knock it off, Like it's not that big a mystery.
A lot of the stuff we just like to pretend
that we don't know what it is for whatever reason.
Like you know, if you want to lose weight, don't
eat a lot of fattening food.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
But we just do it anyway. So this is why
what I was saying about, like focusing on your why
is so important.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
So you know, if you really want to feel good
and confident, I call it going to the spiritual Jim.
I talking a lot about it a lot in all
of my books, where you've got to have some kind
of practice down. You just can't wake up every morning
and wing it and hope it's going to change. You've
got to catch yourself in your limiting thoughts and beliefs
and words. Right, So whatever your broken record is, catch
(14:03):
it and write it down and look at it and
be like, Okay, this is the thing that is stopping
me all the time. So when it comes up, I
am going to think about puppies, and I'm going to
think about puppies until I've diffused it a little bit,
and then I'm going to start turning it around, being
like I'm a great actress who cares like there's so
many other people out there who are killing it or
are far less.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
Fabulous than I am.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Right, So you can start turning it around and knock
it off. Get a really solid spiritual gym practice in place,
where you know meditation. I'm a huge meditation fan, because
that's how you really stop all those thoughts. They say,
you know, ninety percent of the thoughts we think are
thoughts we think every day, and that's how they become
(14:41):
and that's how we.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
Form our reality. What you think creates your reality.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Right now, there are gazillion things I could focus on,
but I tend to focus on the same things over
and over because I have an identity and I am
in the habit of thought when you catch yourself and
make different choices. And I remember when I was starting
out with all this, I was so irritated by the
idea that like, your thoughts, your words, and your beliefs
create your reality, right And I was like, it can't
(15:06):
be that hard. I cannot be living in a garage
at the age of forty and that's all I gotta do.
But it absolutely is, because your thoughts, your beliefs, and
your words create your actions. So it's it all, it really,
it's all. It's all combined. So you start by paying
attention to thoughts, polition, words, you get a spiritual gym
(15:28):
practice down.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
I'm talking really quickly where you raise your frequency.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
So meditating reading self help books every day for like
five minutes doesn't.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
Need to be a big whoopie do.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Listening to music that pumps you up, hanging out with
other people who are kicking button instead of other people
that you can sit around and whine with about how
hard everything and how much it sucks. Staying off social media.
You know, there's endless things you can do, walking in nature.
I'm a big hiker. I'm a big nature person that,
you know, hanging out with my dog, you know, whatever.
It is, getting coaching, but you've got to treat it
(16:05):
like your life depends on it, because it really truly does.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
And I'm talking.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Like a half hour a day where you work out
that muscle of that frequency, because motivation and self worth
is a muscle, and if you don't work it out,
it's like going to the gym, you lose your physical mass.
So you've got to you got to work it out.
You got to pay attention to it, you got to
make it, make it a really important deal for you.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Yeah, what would be the next book that you would
want to write?
Speaker 1 (16:31):
I really don't know right now, honestly, Like I just
you know, Badass Habits came out in twenty twenty, which was.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
So long ago already I was like, I just wrote
a book. I was like, actually it's been years.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
Yeah, So you know, I wait until I'm really inspired
when it comes to books, and I have a couple
ideas floating around, but nothing that I can't shake off
my leg just yet.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
So I'm sharing did because I feel like there's you know,
there's probably so many things that you're like, I've already
I've already and already said because it's all right there.
I mean everything that you're saying, I'm like, yeah, like
that's it. You You already kind of have your Bible,
so now these are just going to be little roots
that come off.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Of it and more, and you can always go deeper
and you can always say it in a different way.
I mean, how many times have you read the same
I mean I read self help books all the time,
and I'll read the same one over and over and
I'll get different things every single time I read it.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
So same with writing.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
I can always find news ways to say it that
will hopefully get the message across.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Jen, Where could our listeners find you?
Speaker 1 (17:31):
You are a Badass dot com and also Jen Sincero
dot com, j E N s I N c E
r O dot com.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Awesome, Thank you so much, Jenn, I appreciate that.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Thanks a lot.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Thanks for coming on, girl, okay,
Host
Jana Kramer
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