October 20, 2025 • 54 mins
An icon has entered the pod. Katy O'Brian is a Renaissance woman. She's an actress known for her role in Love Lives Bleeding, a former body builder, a black belt, and is currently writing a book. Ashlyn discusses their recent love of creatine, what allows Katy to take on all of the different roles she's tackled, how she met a princess of Thailand, and what it was like to audition beside Kristin Stewart. Fear based culture has no room in this conversation. We're talking about the joy that comes with taking a bet on yourself.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi everyone, I'm Ashlyn Harris and welcome to another episode
of Wide Open. I just got back from a long
trip in Utah with Red Bull, and yeah, it has
been a long few days. I had an overnight flight
from Vegas and it was only a few hours. And
lucky for me, my fortieth birthday is tomorrow, so I
(00:23):
haven't gotten much sleep. I don't imagine I'll get much sleep,
but this is an exciting time. I can't wait to
celebrate my birthday. And yeah, I'll definitely have to recharge
next week, but as for now, I'm just I'm just
focused on spending time with family. My friends have flown in,
(00:44):
my brother has flown in, and this is going to
be one of the best weekends. And I'm really looking
forward to spending time with friends and family.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
To celebrate the years of.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Not really caring what other people think. So I look
forward to my forties. I just feel like in my thirties,
you hustle, You just hustle, hustle, hustle, and you try
to figure out like who you are and how you
want to show up, and you're working around the clock.
And I think forties, I just want peace and ease,
like That's what I'm searching for, is that type of
(01:18):
just purely standing and feeling my body and knowing exactly
who I am and showing up for my kids and.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Just total total ease. And I look.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Forward to that and also just like fucking not giving
a shit, not like just being so present and not
worrying about the outside noise and focusing on the inner
workings of my home and my family. I'm really looking
forward to this new chapter. I look forward to my fifties. Honestly,
I hope I'm rich. Shit, I hope I'm making all aha,
(01:49):
I'm trying to make all that kind of money. I
want to be retired. I want to take vacations. I
want to bring my kids. I hope they're in college
or whatever they choose to do. I'm gonna be there
every weekend. We're gonna be going to football games, a
basketball game, and soccer games or whatever they're into. But
I just like, I hope I'm successful, and I hope
(02:10):
I have financial freedom to go enjoy like I've been
working and grinding for so long in my life and
having to restart it after my soccer career at thirty
seven is absolutely wild and most people don't have to do.
So I'm like hitting the ground, like running, like I'm
working around the clock. And I hope in my fifties
(02:31):
things slow down and I actually get to reap the
benefits of it and enjoy.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Life a little more.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
What I love so much about Katie O'Brien is her
refusal to really be boxed in. She's lived so many lives,
whether it's been an athlete, a police officer, an actor,
and activist, and I just feel through like every chapter
she leads with such conviction and a deep sense of self.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
She's not looking to change herself for anyone.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
She's literally showing up and she's got this big, beautiful
personality and body, and she's really confident in it. And
I think that stems from her childhood and her career
and bodybuilding and martial arts. Like she knows in her
core exactly who she is, and I find that so
sexy and inspiring and what a gift that she gets
(03:22):
to give that representation to young people.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
So that's why I love this conversation so much.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
It's just a reminder that reinventing yourself isn't running from
who you are, it's actually evolving closer to who you've
always been. What inspired me the most about her is
when she talks about, you know, showing up for roles
and how she looks and how her body and how
she moves in the world. It's just with such grace
(03:49):
and power, like you don't have to shrink yourself to
fit the story. What I loved so much about her
as you can rewrite it, and I feel that she's
done that. And her story to me is very powerful
because she can stand in the middle of her own reinvention,
(04:10):
which with such grace and conviction. It's learning how to
bet on herself again and again and again. And there's
so much that inspires me through the way she sees
the world. And I think all of our listeners are
going to feel that in this in this episode, and
let's get into it.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Here's Katie O'Brien.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
All Right, Hi, everyone, welcome back to Wide Open with
Ashland Harris. I'm so excited today to be sitting down
with Katie O'Brien.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Katie, welcome to the show.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Thank you, thanks for having me excited.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Of course, of course, I am such a huge fan.
I'm obsessed with like my algorithm now giving me all
of your content.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
So you probably don't know this, but we're friends.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Awesome, and I get to actually creep and live my
life through watching all of your content. I love your
little like happy little life and happy little family, and
more importantly, I.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Just love that we're queer.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Yeah, we need more queer people like us showing up
in the world who are very strong, powerful women.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
So yeah, thank you for being you. Thank you, thanks
for being you. You know, have you ever had someone
mess up your algorithm? I don't think so, you don't, Okay,
how do you even do that? I because I've done
a couple of movies with Glenn Powell at this point,
and some of my friends are very obsessed with him,
and whenever he does like a men's health shoot or something,
(05:47):
they'll send me all of that for some reason. And
I've had to like show him before and be like, hey, look,
if you ever happen to like creep over my shoulder
and I open my Instagram and it's just you. It's
not my doing. It wasn't my choice. But fortunately it
like quickly gets overridden by puppies.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
And that is funny, I know. I mean, he's really
turned into quite the heart throb.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Yeah, go on, like we need more little sexy white
boys running around with their shirts off. I mean, speaking
of bodies, your body is absolutely insane. What the hell
are you doing? Tell me everything I need? Like I'm
a little embarrassed. I actually had a black coat on
right here, and my team was like, uh, you're like
(06:37):
fading into the background.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
You have a oh, just a head.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
And I was like, okay, I'll take Like this is
really intimidating to take my shirt off. Well I'm in
a tank top, but you know what I mean in
front of you, I'm like, that's it's a little off
the nose. But what I need to know before we
even dive into all the things that.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Like, what the hell do you do? Like give me
your tips and secrets.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
I used to compete in bodybuilding, and so I've I've
trained kind of a bodybuilding style workout system I guess
for over ten years at least. And what's crazy is
I used to be much bigger when I was originally competing.
I was much bigger, and then I randomly lost like
(07:22):
fifteen pounds in a very short period of time. It
was like super concerned, didn't know what was going on,
and I found out I had Crohn's disease. So now
it's like wow, yeah, now it's like my nutrition really
is what has it has to be on point for
me to sustain and even try to build muscle. But
I used to walk around like one hundred and seventy
pounds and now I can't. Yeah, yeah, now I can't
(07:44):
break one fifty five. I just it's like difficult for
me to get above that.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
And what like, what are your workouts to build that
much bulk?
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Like I I like, is it really just what you
eat or is it the type of like weight you're moving?
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Clearly it's both and and you do have to fuel
for that. And I always I used to train clients,
and a lot of the concerns, especially for women, it's
like I don't want to get too bulky, And I'm like, well,
then don't eat like you're gonna get bulky. You have
to eat a decent amount of protein. It's like the
huge thing. It's uh. And I supplement with French train
(08:22):
amino acids and that's pretty much it. I just started
doing creatine because I like me too. Yeah. Yeah, people
are researching the hell lot of creative hell lot of them.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Well, I heard also as we get older, like we're old,
but I mean I am next week turning.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Forty, so I'm getting there. I'm close.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
I know you're you're a few years behind. But like
everyone's like, get on creatine. It's going to help you
so much. And you know, I was a professional player
forever and every time they were like, Okay, we're building up,
you know, into a big tournament. We're all going to be,
you know, on our ship and we're going to we're
going to hit the creatine. And I'm like, I think
(09:04):
I'm gonna get fat on that, don't I don't think
I want that, Like I don't. Like I heard you
hold like a lot of water weight and this and that,
and I barely touched it. And now I'm like every
day I'm like I can't get enough of it. I've
been on it's like consistently, probably for the last three
or four months. I have noticed such a change in
(09:25):
my body. And it's the only thing that I've changed
besides my protein intake. But like the creatine has really
been popping off, so all of you people out there,
and I got my brother on it nice, I know,
you know, my partner.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Sophia is on it. We're just like we're rocking the creatine.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Yeah, it's and it's I think a lot of people
also are discouraged because if you get the wrong brand
or something, it can cause digestive distress, which I totally
not try to do that either, but it's really you
got to do a lot of research because there's no
FDA regulations for supplements. People don't realize that, like they
could just be whatever it is in there, And so
(10:05):
it's you you want things that are third party tested.
You want things that, Yeah, I will call the companies
and be like, what do you put in this? And
if they don't know, then I don't take it.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
That's smart.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Yeah, But I actually started taking it more for the
water retention because I was traveling so much and I
was cramping up so much, and I was like, let
me just experiment with this, and I feel like I
feel a difference from that same. Yeah, but it also
has cognitive benefits, which is crazy exactly.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
That's that's also what I just had COVID, you know,
not too long ago, And I tell you what my
brain fog and my ability to not think and for
it to just shut off. I'm like I'm consuming it
like literally like a beast right now, what I'm going
to start from the beginning with you because you have
such an incredible story and there's just there's so much juice.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
To all of it.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
You started like at a very young age with martial arts, correct, Yeah,
And what was like what was like the because there's
when you talk about martial arts, there's like so much,
so many different kind of genres in that.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
What was your main focus or you kind of.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
Did it all? I started just with karate. I was
getting picked on in kindergarten by like a bunch of
much older boys because I apparently I dumped their younger brother.
I know, I don't know, it's kindergarten. I didn't even
know I had a boyfriend, and so they started picking
on me like every day. And my dad he's always
(11:44):
just he's been in construction in his whole career. He's
worked really really hard, and his way to bond with
us was through sport. So we I kind of was, like,
you know, finally told him I was getting picked on,
and he just do us up for karate and that
was our family activity. So at like five years old,
(12:05):
I started karate and once I once I got to university.
Indiana University, we had a program where's like you get
school credit. You can even major in martial arts if
you want to, but you get school credit for training
martial arts. So it's actually one of the best martial
arts programs collegiate programs in the nation. And I got
(12:29):
into just clicked hop keto self defense and then wound
up getting my black belt and hapkito there and then
training a bunch of other styles. And when I came
out to Los Angeles, I I just happened a friend
of mine is the head of martial arts at UCLA,
(12:49):
so he hired me to teach hop kito there. And
once your students start asking more questions like well, what
do we do for on the ground, or you know,
how can I make my kicks harder? Whatever, you realize
you have to continue training and get your knowledge fires.
So I started training jiu jitsu and boy Thai on
top of that, and wow, some Filipino martial arts stick
(13:12):
knife fighting stuff, and it's all just been really fun.
And again talking about cognitive benefits, they're studying cognitive benefits
of various martial arts there too, and it's just it's
it's cool.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Well, the coordination, the discipline, the like, the ability, the flow,
Like when I watch it, it's so gorgeous in a way.
I don't even know how to explain it, but it's
it's such an art and it's so demanding, and it's
so technical and tactical.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
You know, it's.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
You don't have the freedom like in real when you're
really competing to make really bad tactical errors, because it's
costly and very few sports which people don't realize, like
you know, in soccer, there's a bunch of us out there,
we can all make mistakes. It has to go through
all a bunch of people, like you don't point fingers,
(14:06):
but and that it's really costly to not know what
you're doing. Did you ever want to do it competitively?
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Yeah? I did.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
I did.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
I actually compete it as a little kid, and I
did really well, but as I got older, like there's
not really a competition for hapkeito, And then when I
started training jiu jitsu, I thought, oh, this would be
really fun to compete. But I was also acting at
the time, and my buddy, who was kind of my mentor,
was like, is it worth you being laid out by
(14:43):
an injury for potentially several months, because especially with jiu
jitsu well and muay Thai, honestly, your risk of injuries
pretty high.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Listen, I saw Ronda Rousey do something and arm someone
and it looked like their arm was snapped behind And
I said, you know what, it's not for me. Yeah that, Yeah,
whatever that is, I'm staying far away from it. I
will gladly watch from the stands. Yeah, but I have
an accident, yep. But like bending my first off, I've
(15:18):
blown out. I've had two ACL tears.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
For me.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
No one's bending my knee like that or my elbow
because it's never coming back.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
Yeah, and that's that's an injury that just keeps coming. Right.
That the ACL tear is like no joke.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Oh, it's so brutal, and it never it never is
the same. Do you do you think, though, what you've
gained and the knowledge you've gained in terms of physically
and mentally, like the discipline, have you really been able
to carry that into what you do now and your life.
I mean, you were a fucking police officer at one point.
(15:53):
I'm like, dude, you have literally checked so many boxes
and I feel like, you know, I don't know you,
but what I've can witness and absorbing like your story
is you have just constantly been like fuck it if
I if I don't do this.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
I won't know.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Yeah, and you've really tackled it like at its core,
head on, fucking grab the bull by its horns, and you're.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Like, let's ride. And I respect that about you.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Do you want to talk about the risk or talk
about taking a chance and betting on yourself and really
diving into, you know, these different avenues of becoming a
police officer and then doing that for seven years and saying,
you know, I'm just gonna go to Hollywood, like what.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
Yeah, I I never in my life thought I would
be a police officer. I did, like, you know, I
watched Silence of the Lambs as a kid, and I
was like, ooh, Jodie Foster.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
You know I was a kid.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Yeah, yeah, I know I should snug some shows in
I shouldn't have seen. You know, you're the shit out
of me, I know, I know. I just I was
alway so fascinated with people in psychology. Yeah, and so
I thought, first of all, I thought that was a
real job, and it turns out it's not like really
that real of a job. But I went to school
(17:11):
for psychology and I wanted to just I've always felt
kind of like weird and socially awkward and whatever, and
I just kind of wanted to understand people more. And
I also was really just blown away by why people
do terrible things like like serial killer or mobsters or whatever.
(17:32):
And as I started to learn more and more, I
was like, Oh, people are just We're all just figuring
ourselves out. We're all just figuring it out, and sometimes
the reaction to dealing with life is something that you know,
is maybe morally reprehensible. But I just kind of fell
into law enforcement because my school had a program that
(17:55):
they kind of advertised is like, you know, you get
free room and board, and you know, I wasn't making money,
and you get to go to the games for free,
and you get to do all these things. I met
the Dalai Lama through that program. I as yeah, escorded
one of the princesses of Thailand arounds, which seemed wildly irresponsible.
(18:17):
Hot it was like hot, how am I I had
literally have a picture with her and I'm wearing too
like Jigglypuff Pokemon necklace. I just I'm like, this is crazy,
But it always came down to yeah, it was it
was like, I'm this kind of scares me, and I
think I need to do it, and if I think
(18:40):
it will make me better, Like there are a lot
of things that I think scare me that I don't
think will make me better. So I continue with this program.
And I was kind of having a little bit of
a crisis post graduation of what I wanted to do
with my life. And since I already had a law
enforcement CREDITI I just found a city to work for,
(19:04):
wound up working in their crisis intervention team, and wow,
just kind of working with mental health crisis and we
do like dementia, autism. We're just like specially trained and
all that. So it was kind of a function of
psychology that I felt I was really I guess adept
(19:26):
at doing. But at one point I was just like, man,
I like athletics has always been something that has given
me a piece of mind and like helped me clear
my mind. And I kind of felt like I wasn't.
I was just stagnant in a weird way. So I
finally was like, I'm going to set a goal for
(19:46):
myself and I just want to get really strong. And
I went to a gym and instead of suggesting powerlifting
and suggested bodybuilding, and I was like, screw it, let's
do it. And I just kind of like fell in
love with the like I could see it. I could
see my muscles growing like fairly quickly. I mean you
can put on like half a pound of pound of
(20:07):
muscle a month. You see it pretty quickly. And then
when you learn how you can manipulate your nutrition and
lean out and get bigger. It was just like a
really cool experiment on the body, I guess. And then
I also wanted to act, so that was like always
a passion as a kid. I was in marching band.
I was like, I was always into art and yeah,
(20:30):
so I was like I need, I need to get
back into art. And I found an on screen acting
class and then I really was like this, this is
what I have to do for my body to breathe.
Like I just felt like I wasn't breathing when I
was when I was working in law enforcement, and I
(20:51):
just kind of thought if I if I don't do this,
I don't know what my future will be so I
just did the crazy move to Los Angeles, and.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
Well.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
People always ask when you make that leap of faith
and you kind of bet on yourself, Everyone's always like,
what's the scariest part? I want to ask you, what's
what was the best part of reinventing yourself? Over and
over and like checking all these boxes and proving most importantly,
and what I teach my daughter is like proving to
yourself what you can do and accomplish and the things
(21:26):
you can push your body and mind to.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Like what was the best part of that?
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Because I think more women need to hear that, and
more people need to hear that, because we are in
such a fear based culture right now that it kind
of jades our growth a little bit, and it keeps
us in line, and it keeps us not taking those opportunities.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
So I want the listeners to know.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
If you could articulate what was the best fucking part
about betting on yourself and going for it.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
I felt free the first time in my life. I
was doing what I wanted to do and what felt
right for me, And so that was was a Channi's job.
When freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose, right,
Like I just felt like all I had was myself
and this passion, and it really just it fueled the fire.
(22:21):
And it was like I was so broke when I
first moved to LA and I mean immediately, like all
these expenses coming from Indiana that I like, oh my god, yeah,
like car insurance is four times as much, you know,
people just crashing into my car. Gas ye yeah, gas
went from two dollars to eight now, you know, you're like, whoa.
(22:43):
And even the cost of like rent groceries just ten
percent sales tax out here. I was. I was not
prepared for how broke I would be. And I even considered, like,
you know, maybe I don't pay rent anymore and I
just sleep in this car that I'm paying so much
money for. But I felt like I was okay with that,
uh weirdly at the time. And now, you know, priorities change.
(23:05):
I have like family and wife that I have to
stay care of and stuff, so like I have to
have a little bit more stability. But it just felt
like I was on a new adventure and it was
just maybe the most excited I've ever been. So when
I think about going back and doing something else, now
(23:25):
it fills me with just such dread and yeah, I
couldn't do it. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Stay tuned.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
I'll be back in just a moment after this brief
message from our sponsors.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Yeah, well, speaking of your wife, I.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
You you have really become such a queer icon. And
I don't say that lightly and like a lot of
people like hear that probably are like I don't know
about that, but you really have and and you have,
You've you're on out one hundred. You're paving the way
for like serious queer representation and doing it your way,
(24:15):
which I like, really love because when I was younger,
I didn't see people like us in movies or in
magazines or even in sports.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
And for a really long time, like.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
I thought I was a boy because I wanted to
be a professional athlete and only I only saw men
doing it. And like, what what does it feel like
now being such a pivotal part of queer representation and
media and movies, and like it does it? Does it
(24:50):
excite you? Do you feel like that type of weight
is like not what you've asked for or you're like, yeah,
I'm gonna keep pushing and asking the questions to demand
more and more and more and more, or because these
young kids, not even young, all of us deserve it.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
Yeah, I don't feel like a weight on myself. And
because I also feel like I have a great community
around here, or not just around here, but within the
entertainment business, and we're all pushing for changes and improvement.
I mean, it's one of those things when I meet
(25:25):
with producers or other actors and I'm like, why do
we not have a women's action role comparatively to like
something that Jackie Chan would you back in the day.
You know, there's no like women that are fighting for
their community. There's no women that are fighting just with
their hands. It's always with a gun, or it's always
in a fantasy world or sci fi or something like that.
(25:48):
So why I'm as big as Jackie Chan, Why like,
why can't we do this? And it's so funny that
there's not even a narrative out there for it, Like
there's not they don't even know how to write a
script to do this, and it's it's just wild to me.
So it's something that you see the little the things
(26:08):
that are missing, and you just try to fill that.
But then it's also how are we gonna get this financed.
I you know, there are there's a very big homophobic
market that doesn't want to see that. There's a very
big you know people hate women. It's just like more
than it seems like they had ten years ago. So
(26:30):
it's fighting those battles.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
And you did, you know and love lives and bleeding you.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
You did get to portray you know, this queer character
with Kristen Stewart. By the way, fucking great movie, like
so fun, oh my god, because it's just it's so
every time you watch a queer character, it's like the
same shit over and over. For me, it's like this
(26:54):
coming out story or it's this like whole just it's
just not real and it's not raw, and it's always
like I just really really love the weirdness of the movie.
And I don't know, I just I don't know you,
(27:15):
but I felt like I saw you and like really you.
And I don't think most people get to have the
ability to play a character like that that is so
true to who they are, to how they move in
the world. Like even the scene when you're fucking body
like it's just beautiful in front of all of like
(27:37):
what what was that like to portray a queer character
on screen with Kristen Stewart, come on, like what was that?
Speaker 3 (27:48):
Like? What was that?
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Like?
Speaker 3 (27:50):
It was? It was kind of wild. I would it
was an open casting call. They couldn't find this body
boulder character, right, and I didn't that. Yes, someone posted
something on Twitter which I will never call x uh
and they they were like they're looking for this person.
(28:11):
Someone tagged me in it and I was like, oh, yeah,
that's me. They were looking for a queer bodybuilder to
star alongside Christmas Store in this movie. And I was like, yeah, okay,
I'll do that. And I was really curious as to
why I didn't even get an audition, because I've like
that casting office knows me that my agents would. I'm like,
(28:33):
why would you not? This is me? And then when
I got just my audition sides, which I finally got
an audition, I put a whole power point together. I
was like, here's my moving on here if you need it, like,
here's me with you know, my bodybuilding pictures and whatever.
So I got the audition, I'm reading just what the
words and everything. It was so well written, which I
(28:58):
get so many rips, and I'm like how how did
this get funded? You know, I'm like how? But this
was something that was It was just so beautiful and
I think it helped that Rose Glass is queer, you know,
and so she's got an understanding of women and this
lifestyle I guess, and but not bodybuilding, but like two
(29:22):
women loving each other gets uh, And yeah, it was.
It was just everything that I learned about this character
made me want to be her more and more, play
her more and more because I felt so many little connections.
And then I just walked into a callback. I walked
into the room like I already had the part because
(29:44):
I was like, this is just me and yeah. Then
I had like six more auditions where I was like
to the point where the last one I was like,
shooting starts in two weeks. If it's not me, you
need to find someone else. I'm not gonna come in
anymore because I'm not gonna do it any differently. So
you can watch all the old things that I've done.
(30:06):
I just I get really stubborn about things. So I
was like, I have fought for this, but if it's
not working for you, I don't want to be the
wrong person for this part. I don't think I am,
but I don't want to be. And I finally got
the part and then it was fun like our it
was like the third audition was the Chemistry we read
(30:27):
with Kristen Oh wow, And I just kind of walked
outside and she's just sitting in the in the room
and I'm like, would it bother you if I talked
to you for a bit before and She's like no,
So we just sat down and chatted before we even
went in, and she was just super chill. And yeah,
it just kind of was like I think that that
(30:48):
wasn't the energy that I expect from like such a
big as icon whatever, just just so like whatever just
laid back. So I was that maybe more excited, and
then as we started going, we were both just kind
of like down to We were both very passionate about
this project. And yeah, it's like being gay is not
(31:08):
even kind of the conflict in it. It's like very
rare that you see that, and we're kind of not
we're not role models in it, you know. It's just
we loved just how raw and gritty and and just
insane the script was, so that fueled our fire for it,
and I think it was a really fun collaboration, and
(31:31):
I hope she feels the same.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Well, I would assume so, because I like it is
so chemistry is so important and I can't imagine just
being thrown into that and being like.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
Here, shoot your shot.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
But like, that's what that's what makes you so special,
and that's what makes actors so special is their ability
to show up and fucking nail it right there. And
I like, you have such a cool show personality, and
you know you're a queer person.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Like I love hearing that she was just fucking normal.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
I love hearing just these people who are so iconic
in our community or whether it's music or acting, like
they're just cool, fucking people and they realize very quickly
they're not carrying cancer, that they're here to bring life
into people and move them in a certain particular way,
(32:27):
and they don't take themselves too seriously.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
You don't always get that in Hollywood, as I know,
I know, unfortunately.
Speaker 3 (32:36):
It's it's one of those things where at the end
of the day, when you read a play, it's called
a play. Right, You are supposed to have fun movie making,
filmmaking it should be fun, and it should be a
way for people to escape from reality when they watch it.
It's not yet, like you said, we're not caring cancer.
We're not rescuing people from burning buildings or anything. But
(33:01):
the hope is to entertain and to bring joy to
someone and to help someone feel seen too. Is is
so important And yeah, I just I find joy in that,
and I hope other people do. I grew up, you know,
in the Midwest. It's so boring sometimes. So I've watched
a lot of movies and oftentimes when I would see
(33:23):
something like or like Xena on TV or g I
Jane or you know, some of these like really strong women,
I was like, Oh, I want I want to be that.
That's so cool. It just inspired me.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
I was saying this to one of my friends who's
in the in the in the industry, And like, the
way you've carved out like some of the biggest fucking
blockbuster hits is such a credit to who you are
and how you show up. It's clear that people want
to work with you, which is different. It's like the
same as a team as you are on a set.
(33:57):
Like how you move in that chemistry and how you
move in that space affects the whole. Yeah, and like
I never have heard anything but really fantastic and great
things about you. So I think it's a real credit
to who you are, how you show up, and how
you choose to show up and stay humble in an
(34:18):
industry that's often not the easiest. So I'm curious what
you feel like your wife is a writer, correct, yes, okay,
which is that's I need you guys to make something together,
I know, like tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, And I can imagine
those dinner talks like what do you both feel right now?
(34:40):
That is really missing, you know, from movies and storylines
and queer representation or underrepresented communities.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
I think that what we're really is still finding difficulty
with is seeing someone like me as a lead without
you know, a wig or something in a blockbuster. I
think that that's still a very hard sell because something
(35:10):
was specifically like a blockbuster is going to go for
like an international market. And I don't know if you
just saw, like there was a movie that in China
they they changed the gender of a queer couple or
they changed one of the people to a different gender
so that they would be a straight couple through AI
(35:30):
n to show it to their audiences, and that is
a huge market, by the way. So and then it
was a Neon movie and they pushed back fortunately, which
was really cool. But yeah, they they did that, and
you know, an ant man, it was like a big
thing that I think it was like guitar didn't want
(35:53):
a Pride flag in a bookstore, like something that small.
They just didn't want it in the movie. So there
are all these little things that you're still fighting for.
And it's almost maybe nearly impossible for someone's to like
me to be a lead in a blockbuster. So that's
something that we're trying to to gradually change. I don't
(36:15):
know if we ever will, but if I don't, someone will,
I'm sure. But it's just a it's a tell the times,
I guess, and I will say the reason I am
able to get where I am right now is because
of all the people before me that paved the way.
So by the time I made it to Los Angeles,
(36:37):
they were looking for androgynous women. They were looking for
this term that everyone hates ethnically ambiguous, and I'm biracial,
so I was like, yay, I checked these two boxes.
And then all of these shows, Marvels, Walking Dead, d
C comics, all this stuff that was becoming really popular.
They loved having, you know, a martial arts back or
(37:01):
a police background. So all of those things just kind
of like came together just the right place, right time.
And I was very fortunate because if I had shown
up in Hollywood ten years earlier, it wouldn't be the same.
I'm sure I would have to probably still have my
long hair and maybe like pretend to be straight or something.
But I just don't think that was ever going to
(37:22):
work out. I think my wife laughs because she's like,
you walk like it lets me. I just can't. I
don't know that I can. I quite hide it.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
I get it.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
Yeah, I get it through and through.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
This is wide open, and I'm your host, Ashlyn Harris.
Thanks for listening.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
We'll be right back. Do you think you know?
Speaker 1 (37:51):
Because my partner is an actor and who's been raised
in this scene for a long time, and like she's
such a gentle song in that space, I'm always like, how,
like how how has it not broke you in a
lot of ways because it's a really, really tough industry
(38:14):
and it's a very competitive industry. And I'm curious because
as a queer woman, as someone who's been so in
touch with their body who knows themselves through and through.
Has it made it easier for you to navigate and
move in this new dynamic of your job of what
(38:36):
you're doing as an actor because of the life you've
lived in the discipline you've had in sport to really
like know yourself because I am I imagine that's your superpower,
but I'm I don't know.
Speaker 3 (38:54):
Yeah, No, I'm really good at uh. I don't think
you can make change in anyway or make progress unless
you're very honest with yourself about who you are, and
you can make changes like that's that's definitely possible. But no,
I do think that's so important. And then that helps
me not question like I'm always gonna question you. Am
(39:18):
I being as as kind as possible to someone? Or
am I being as fair in this situation? And I
surround myself with people that will be honest to me
about that, and and my wife is definitely one of
those people where she will remind me certain things. So
I think that knowing yourself is really important. And actually
(39:40):
it's like a It's like those three Delphiic maxims on
the Temple of Delphi is like know thyself nothing in excess,
and there's like one other, but I really do those
two for sure. I'm not into extremism. I like to
and that's why I kind of taper it away from
bodybuilding competitions. And I'm not I'm not really I don't
(40:05):
want to second guess myself, but I do want to
make sure that I'm like, I'm staying grounded and I
understand and I'm staying focused. And then kind of like
you you put pointed earlier, this this whole industry and
being on set is a team industry, and you have
to want to service the team as best as you can.
And let's say that you know, someone comes into that
(40:28):
team and they're just a better forward than you are,
and you're like, shit, I got it, Like they're so good.
I'm not gonna sit there and say, well, I was
always that person, Like they can't come in. I'm gonna
want to service the team. So I just lost it.
There's a I don't know if you know kayleer Rey's
it's a boxer. She's just like a badass and we're
(40:50):
constantly going for up for each other's parts, and she
just got something that I was maybe up for, potentially
possibly but when I think about it, I'm like, that
makes sense, and I think that's going to serve better
service the story for what they're looking for. It just
makes sense. And also having met her and knowing how
(41:14):
cool she is and like how how much she like,
how serious she is about this and focused and everything,
I just want to cheer her on. So there's also
that aspect of cool. Yeah, you you can't like if
someone else gets apart, you just have to celebrate them
because it's it's a win for everybody at that point.
(41:35):
And I also, like, I think martial arts is is
you you're constantly failing. You know, you're you're constantly getting
beat up, You're constantly being thrown to the ground, and
it's the resilience of learning how to stand up. And
(41:56):
it's like, Okay, what did I do wrong that time,
or what did I do right that last time? How
do I adjust my like you said earlier technique my
mindset something like that to go in with a better
focus the next round. So I think that that that
level of athletics isn't the bodybuilding too. I'm not you know,
I'm not a pro bodybuilder. I I don't know that
(42:18):
I have us so yeah, I don't know that I
have what it takes to be a pro bodybuilder, honestly,
Like I've gotten as lean as I feel comfortable getting
and with how competitions are judged these days, and my
first contest, it was like I got docked points because
my suit wasn't like cute enough, you know, and it
(42:41):
was a little too big, and I'm like, I worked
so hard to get here and it's my outfit that
is being judged right now. It's fucking crazy. It's crazy.
It's a crazy world. So then you just kind of
have to like it's not in your control. You know,
you can only do so much, and the judges are
(43:02):
going to judge how they want to judge. And then
when you go into an audition, the outcome is not
in your control. You can just give the best performance.
I love auditioning because I get to practice what I
love doing, and so that's what I do. And sometimes
I don't even look at like I see what they
want for the breakdown of the character, but I read
the size and I'm like, that's not what I feel
this character is, and I'll do what I want. And
(43:26):
oftentimes that doesn't work out, and sometimes it does, and yeah,
I just.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
Think again again, betting on yourself, gulling with your gut
like that is like such a key takeaway because in
your industry, usually it's body shaming. You have to look
a certain way, you need to be tall, you need
to be thin, you need to be this, you're not
enough this, you're not enough that. And you just show
up and you're like, actually, I'm just gonna be fucking
(43:51):
me and either you roll with it or you don't.
And that's I think a lot of people need to
sit and hear that, because we bend ourselves so fucking
much for other people. It gets to a point where
we don't even recognize the person we're looking at in
the mirror. And I think you're really true testament of
just doing you. And I think people are envious of
(44:13):
that and they want to be like that, but they
don't want to feel the shame of being exactly who
they are. It's easier to be someone else.
Speaker 3 (44:21):
Yeah, and no social media is so I it just
elevates that. I feel like it makes it even worse.
And because your entire life could be on display for
a robot and then you're sitting there having a robot
make you feel bad, or someone that like you literally
will never meet in your entire life, and you're letting
(44:41):
them make you feel bad. It's so bizarre to me.
I was watching this documentary about Phil Heath, who is
one of the greatest bodybuilders of all time, and he's
also one of the first bodybuilders. He's like mister Olympia,
like I don't know, eight times wow in a row,
you know. Uh. And he's one of the first ones
(45:01):
to have to deal with social media as Instagram was
coming out, and the way that people would have the
audacity to get online and talk about this man's body,
knowing that he's the best in the world at what
he does, and they're trying to trash talk him and
(45:22):
they it's just it's funny to me, and it's to me,
is symptomatic of them not feeling happy with themselves, because
why else would you do this, Why else would you
want to tear someone down?
Speaker 2 (45:34):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (45:35):
So it's just wild to me. But it had an
impact on him, and and that's that's something that also
I had to check it's like, because it does you know,
it is hurtful sometimes when when you see how much
negativity and hostility there is in the world oh God, yeah, yeah,
But I mean the best you can do is continue
(45:55):
to show up and and I think be yourself and
not let that bring you down because then what they
then they win.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
It's yeah, I think that's also the best part of
this new phase of life.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
Like, you know, I'm about to turn forty and I'm
really in the like the phase of.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
My piece is my piece. Yeah, even if the world
outside is on fire, in this house, it's peace and
I hold on to that. And with that, I know,
I mean I could say what's next for you? But
I know Running Man is what's next for you?
Speaker 2 (46:33):
Work wise?
Speaker 1 (46:34):
But like personally, by the way, everyone a new movie
of course, Katie's and Running Man that's coming out in
November and I'm really with Glenn Powell and i can't
wait to watch it, So everyone go check that out.
But what is next for you, like for you personally,
for you and your wife, for the peace in your
home outside of what you do, Like.
Speaker 2 (46:54):
What is next?
Speaker 3 (46:56):
Well, you know, I have I have four movies coming out.
I have to pick I had Am in the next
two months. I have a rom com Maintenance Required that
comes out next week. I have so it's October eighth.
I think I have Queens of the Dead gets a
theatrical release. It's this queer zombie movie that Georgia Meiro's
daughter puts. Yeah, she wanted to honor her father's legacy
(47:21):
but also in her own way, and so it was
like the whole queer community of New York came out
and put this like budget of glitter and shoelace together
to make something very fun and campy and and so cool.
So that'll be out October twenty fourth in theaters. And
(47:42):
then Christy, which is the story of Christy Martin, who
is a woman boxer. She's absolutely incredible. That comes out,
I want to say, November seventh. And then Running Thing
comes out November fourteen, So it's absolutely wow. It's gonna
be a weird couple of months, but I'm sorry, it's
my friends.
Speaker 2 (48:02):
So so pretty much Katie saying bye bye. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (48:05):
I won't get down.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
I'm working, but not for a couple of months. But
support me, yeah, by movies.
Speaker 3 (48:11):
But we really, you know, we are, like like I said,
we're trying to create some of our own things now
and produce some of our own projects that we feel
either fill a hole or just something that we're passionate
about and want to do. So oftentimes, if I get
a script that I think is really amazing, I'll have
Kylie my wife like kind of script doctor a little
(48:34):
bit to make it a little bit better or fill
in some of the gaps that it's missing, for like
a I think, a smoother narrative. So we've kind of
been doing that and trying to produce some things. And
then on the deeper level, we are in the process
of we're doing our like family playing. We're deep in
(48:54):
the process.
Speaker 1 (48:55):
If I love that, Yeah, I love that, And that's
not always that easy. So it's like the process for
fertility to have family, and I like it is.
Speaker 2 (49:08):
People don't talk about it enough. So I wish you.
Speaker 1 (49:11):
Both like the best because it's it's definitely a tough, tough,
but beautiful journey.
Speaker 3 (49:22):
Yeah, we're we're very excited and we're fortunate. I mean,
hopefully we don't scare them off. I don't know, but
we've got an amazing donor who I love that for
a long time and just seems to be really game
to like just help us create a family, which is
just so so beautiful and we're like, what can we
can we give you in return? But yeah, so we
(49:45):
have we have that setup, which is awesome, and you know,
just going through the process of like, you know, we
we have a house. We're trying to make it a
little more yeah baby, yeah, yeah, kid friendly. And then
our dog is insane. So we're also trying to desensitize
(50:05):
her kids because the last thing you want is like
she just she doesn't like write or attack anyone. I'm
not gonna but she's uh, she's like a hurder. So
she and she barks when she does that, so she
terrifies people. And she'll like nudge kids, you know, like
(50:26):
if they're not in the packs, like nudge them.
Speaker 2 (50:28):
I wonder where she gets that from.
Speaker 3 (50:30):
I don't that's her, that's her mom. We fostered the
whole litter and I saw how her mom behaved there.
Speaker 1 (50:38):
We go, yeah, yeah, it sounds like you're very busy,
which yeah.
Speaker 2 (50:44):
Also it's a good thing.
Speaker 1 (50:47):
And I wish you and your wife the absolute best
and I look forward to continue watching your career. And
thank you so much for coming on here, being vulnerable,
being honest, than being such a trailblazer and the queer
community and representing us so beautifully and staying true to
(51:07):
yourself in the process, which is really important. And I'm
glad I get to watch from a very very far lens.
Feel like it feels really nice to see someone like
yourself on TV. And I'm hopeful for this younger generation
because I know you and I didn't have it, And
(51:27):
you know, how cool is it to say that you're
able to give that to a lot of young kids
who need it right now. And I personally want to
say thank you because it's really life saving, it really is.
So I appreciate your work, Katie, and thank you so
much for coming on Wide Open. And if you could
(51:48):
leave our listeners and those who are watching with one thing,
what would you leave them with?
Speaker 3 (51:56):
You know, it's always weird, like to be on a
podcast like this and then you sail nice things and
then I have to be like, because you know, I
watched y'all win the World Cup, Like I got to
see those moments, and like when women's soccer was like reinstated,
it was I was still I was like almost a
teenager or something, right like when we went against China,
(52:17):
yeah ninety nine, So all of that matters, Like The
first thing that I did when I found out I
had Crohn's disease was look up athletes with crones disease,
because I wanted to know if I could still perform
how I used to perform. So you being out there
and doing what you do and then doing things like
this is iconic and I also very much appreciate that.
(52:42):
So I want to sit here and take all that.
But I think, you know, I don't know. The theme
over here has been be yourself, do your best, and
you know, there's just try to take a step out
the door, you know, like cash Grass. Yeah, there we are.
Speaker 2 (53:02):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (53:03):
Well.
Speaker 2 (53:04):
I appreciate you being on Katie.
Speaker 1 (53:05):
Good luck with all of these new movies and shows
coming out so deserving, and hopefully you know, we get
a little bit of a double date going on here pretty.
Speaker 2 (53:15):
Soon, sweet when we're back in LA.
Speaker 3 (53:18):
I'm ready.
Speaker 1 (53:18):
We're based in New York at the moment, but we're
always in LA.
Speaker 3 (53:22):
I'm gonna be spending a bit of time in New
York the next couple of weeks.
Speaker 1 (53:26):
So okay, well, let us know we would gladly support you.
Hi to your wife, and until next time, all right,
thank you, Thanks all right. Thanks everyone for tuning in
to another episode of Wide Open.
Speaker 2 (53:39):
I'll see you next week.
Speaker 1 (53:45):
Wide Open with Ashland Harris is an iHeart women's sports production.
You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts. Our producers are Carmen Borca, Coreo,
Emily Maronov, and Lucy Jones. Production assistants from Malia Aguidello.
(54:06):
Our executive producers are Jesse Katz, Jenny Kaplan and Emily Rudder.
Speaker 2 (54:11):
Our editors are Jenny
Speaker 1 (54:12):
Kaplan and Emily Rudder and I'm your host, Ashlyn Harris
Hi everyone, I'm Ashlyn Harris and welcome to another episode
of Wide Open. I just got back from a long
trip in Utah with Red Bull, and yeah, it has
been a long few days. I had an overnight flight
from Vegas and it was only a few hours. And
lucky for me, my fortieth birthday is tomorrow, so I
(00:23):
haven't gotten much sleep. I don't imagine I'll get much sleep,
but this is an exciting time. I can't wait to
celebrate my birthday. And yeah, I'll definitely have to recharge
next week, but as for now, I'm just I'm just
focused on spending time with family. My friends have flown in,
(00:44):
my brother has flown in, and this is going to
be one of the best weekends. And I'm really looking
forward to spending time with friends and family.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
To celebrate the years of.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Not really caring what other people think. So I look
forward to my forties. I just feel like in my thirties,
you hustle, You just hustle, hustle, hustle, and you try
to figure out like who you are and how you
want to show up, and you're working around the clock.
And I think forties, I just want peace and ease,
like That's what I'm searching for, is that type of
(01:18):
just purely standing and feeling my body and knowing exactly
who I am and showing up for my kids and.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Just total total ease. And I look.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Forward to that and also just like fucking not giving
a shit, not like just being so present and not
worrying about the outside noise and focusing on the inner
workings of my home and my family. I'm really looking
forward to this new chapter. I look forward to my fifties. Honestly,
I hope I'm rich. Shit, I hope I'm making all aha,
(01:49):
I'm trying to make all that kind of money. I
want to be retired. I want to take vacations. I
want to bring my kids. I hope they're in college
or whatever they choose to do. I'm gonna be there
every weekend. We're gonna be going to football games, a
basketball game, and soccer games or whatever they're into. But
I just like, I hope I'm successful, and I hope
(02:10):
I have financial freedom to go enjoy like I've been
working and grinding for so long in my life and
having to restart it after my soccer career at thirty
seven is absolutely wild and most people don't have to do.
So I'm like hitting the ground, like running, like I'm
working around the clock. And I hope in my fifties
(02:31):
things slow down and I actually get to reap the
benefits of it and enjoy.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Life a little more.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
What I love so much about Katie O'Brien is her
refusal to really be boxed in. She's lived so many lives,
whether it's been an athlete, a police officer, an actor,
and activist, and I just feel through like every chapter
she leads with such conviction and a deep sense of self.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
She's not looking to change herself for anyone.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
She's literally showing up and she's got this big, beautiful
personality and body, and she's really confident in it. And
I think that stems from her childhood and her career
and bodybuilding and martial arts. Like she knows in her
core exactly who she is, and I find that so
sexy and inspiring and what a gift that she gets
(03:22):
to give that representation to young people.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
So that's why I love this conversation so much.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
It's just a reminder that reinventing yourself isn't running from
who you are, it's actually evolving closer to who you've
always been. What inspired me the most about her is
when she talks about, you know, showing up for roles
and how she looks and how her body and how
she moves in the world. It's just with such grace
(03:49):
and power, like you don't have to shrink yourself to
fit the story. What I loved so much about her
as you can rewrite it, and I feel that she's
done that. And her story to me is very powerful
because she can stand in the middle of her own reinvention,
(04:10):
which with such grace and conviction. It's learning how to
bet on herself again and again and again. And there's
so much that inspires me through the way she sees
the world. And I think all of our listeners are
going to feel that in this in this episode, and
let's get into it.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Here's Katie O'Brien.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
All Right, Hi, everyone, welcome back to Wide Open with
Ashland Harris. I'm so excited today to be sitting down
with Katie O'Brien.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Katie, welcome to the show.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Thank you, thanks for having me excited.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Of course, of course, I am such a huge fan.
I'm obsessed with like my algorithm now giving me all
of your content.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
So you probably don't know this, but we're friends.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Awesome, and I get to actually creep and live my
life through watching all of your content. I love your
little like happy little life and happy little family, and
more importantly, I.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Just love that we're queer.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Yeah, we need more queer people like us showing up
in the world who are very strong, powerful women.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
So yeah, thank you for being you. Thank you, thanks
for being you. You know, have you ever had someone
mess up your algorithm? I don't think so, you don't, Okay,
how do you even do that? I because I've done
a couple of movies with Glenn Powell at this point,
and some of my friends are very obsessed with him,
and whenever he does like a men's health shoot or something,
(05:47):
they'll send me all of that for some reason. And
I've had to like show him before and be like, hey, look,
if you ever happen to like creep over my shoulder
and I open my Instagram and it's just you. It's
not my doing. It wasn't my choice. But fortunately it
like quickly gets overridden by puppies.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
And that is funny, I know. I mean, he's really
turned into quite the heart throb.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Yeah, go on, like we need more little sexy white
boys running around with their shirts off. I mean, speaking
of bodies, your body is absolutely insane. What the hell
are you doing? Tell me everything I need? Like I'm
a little embarrassed. I actually had a black coat on
right here, and my team was like, uh, you're like
(06:37):
fading into the background.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
You have a oh, just a head.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
And I was like, okay, I'll take Like this is
really intimidating to take my shirt off. Well I'm in
a tank top, but you know what I mean in
front of you, I'm like, that's it's a little off
the nose. But what I need to know before we
even dive into all the things that.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Like, what the hell do you do? Like give me
your tips and secrets.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
I used to compete in bodybuilding, and so I've I've
trained kind of a bodybuilding style workout system I guess
for over ten years at least. And what's crazy is
I used to be much bigger when I was originally competing.
I was much bigger, and then I randomly lost like
(07:22):
fifteen pounds in a very short period of time. It
was like super concerned, didn't know what was going on,
and I found out I had Crohn's disease. So now
it's like wow, yeah, now it's like my nutrition really
is what has it has to be on point for
me to sustain and even try to build muscle. But
I used to walk around like one hundred and seventy
pounds and now I can't. Yeah, yeah, now I can't
(07:44):
break one fifty five. I just it's like difficult for
me to get above that.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
And what like, what are your workouts to build that
much bulk?
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Like I I like, is it really just what you
eat or is it the type of like weight you're moving?
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Clearly it's both and and you do have to fuel
for that. And I always I used to train clients,
and a lot of the concerns, especially for women, it's
like I don't want to get too bulky, And I'm like, well,
then don't eat like you're gonna get bulky. You have
to eat a decent amount of protein. It's like the
huge thing. It's uh. And I supplement with French train
(08:22):
amino acids and that's pretty much it. I just started
doing creatine because I like me too. Yeah. Yeah, people
are researching the hell lot of creative hell lot of them.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Well, I heard also as we get older, like we're old,
but I mean I am next week turning.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Forty, so I'm getting there. I'm close.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
I know you're you're a few years behind. But like
everyone's like, get on creatine. It's going to help you
so much. And you know, I was a professional player
forever and every time they were like, Okay, we're building up,
you know, into a big tournament. We're all going to be,
you know, on our ship and we're going to we're
going to hit the creatine. And I'm like, I think
(09:04):
I'm gonna get fat on that, don't I don't think
I want that, Like I don't. Like I heard you
hold like a lot of water weight and this and that,
and I barely touched it. And now I'm like every
day I'm like I can't get enough of it. I've
been on it's like consistently, probably for the last three
or four months. I have noticed such a change in
(09:25):
my body. And it's the only thing that I've changed
besides my protein intake. But like the creatine has really
been popping off, so all of you people out there,
and I got my brother on it nice, I know,
you know, my partner.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Sophia is on it. We're just like we're rocking the creatine.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Yeah, it's and it's I think a lot of people
also are discouraged because if you get the wrong brand
or something, it can cause digestive distress, which I totally
not try to do that either, but it's really you
got to do a lot of research because there's no
FDA regulations for supplements. People don't realize that, like they
could just be whatever it is in there, And so
(10:05):
it's you you want things that are third party tested.
You want things that, Yeah, I will call the companies
and be like, what do you put in this? And
if they don't know, then I don't take it.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
That's smart.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Yeah, But I actually started taking it more for the
water retention because I was traveling so much and I
was cramping up so much, and I was like, let
me just experiment with this, and I feel like I
feel a difference from that same. Yeah, but it also
has cognitive benefits, which is crazy exactly.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
That's that's also what I just had COVID, you know,
not too long ago, And I tell you what my
brain fog and my ability to not think and for
it to just shut off. I'm like I'm consuming it
like literally like a beast right now, what I'm going
to start from the beginning with you because you have
such an incredible story and there's just there's so much juice.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
To all of it.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
You started like at a very young age with martial arts, correct, Yeah,
And what was like what was like the because there's
when you talk about martial arts, there's like so much,
so many different kind of genres in that.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
What was your main focus or you kind of.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
Did it all? I started just with karate. I was
getting picked on in kindergarten by like a bunch of
much older boys because I apparently I dumped their younger brother.
I know, I don't know, it's kindergarten. I didn't even
know I had a boyfriend, and so they started picking
on me like every day. And my dad he's always
(11:44):
just he's been in construction in his whole career. He's
worked really really hard, and his way to bond with
us was through sport. So we I kind of was, like,
you know, finally told him I was getting picked on,
and he just do us up for karate and that
was our family activity. So at like five years old,
(12:05):
I started karate and once I once I got to university.
Indiana University, we had a program where's like you get
school credit. You can even major in martial arts if
you want to, but you get school credit for training
martial arts. So it's actually one of the best martial
arts programs collegiate programs in the nation. And I got
(12:29):
into just clicked hop keto self defense and then wound
up getting my black belt and hapkito there and then
training a bunch of other styles. And when I came
out to Los Angeles, I I just happened a friend
of mine is the head of martial arts at UCLA,
(12:49):
so he hired me to teach hop kito there. And
once your students start asking more questions like well, what
do we do for on the ground, or you know,
how can I make my kicks harder? Whatever, you realize
you have to continue training and get your knowledge fires.
So I started training jiu jitsu and boy Thai on
top of that, and wow, some Filipino martial arts stick
(13:12):
knife fighting stuff, and it's all just been really fun.
And again talking about cognitive benefits, they're studying cognitive benefits
of various martial arts there too, and it's just it's
it's cool.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Well, the coordination, the discipline, the like, the ability, the flow,
Like when I watch it, it's so gorgeous in a way.
I don't even know how to explain it, but it's
it's such an art and it's so demanding, and it's
so technical and tactical.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
You know, it's.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
You don't have the freedom like in real when you're
really competing to make really bad tactical errors, because it's
costly and very few sports which people don't realize, like
you know, in soccer, there's a bunch of us out there,
we can all make mistakes. It has to go through
all a bunch of people, like you don't point fingers,
(14:06):
but and that it's really costly to not know what
you're doing. Did you ever want to do it competitively?
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Yeah? I did.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
I did.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
I actually compete it as a little kid, and I
did really well, but as I got older, like there's
not really a competition for hapkeito, And then when I
started training jiu jitsu, I thought, oh, this would be
really fun to compete. But I was also acting at
the time, and my buddy, who was kind of my mentor,
was like, is it worth you being laid out by
(14:43):
an injury for potentially several months, because especially with jiu
jitsu well and muay Thai, honestly, your risk of injuries
pretty high.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Listen, I saw Ronda Rousey do something and arm someone
and it looked like their arm was snapped behind And
I said, you know what, it's not for me. Yeah that, Yeah,
whatever that is, I'm staying far away from it. I
will gladly watch from the stands. Yeah, but I have
an accident, yep. But like bending my first off, I've
(15:18):
blown out. I've had two ACL tears.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
For me.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
No one's bending my knee like that or my elbow
because it's never coming back.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
Yeah, and that's that's an injury that just keeps coming. Right.
That the ACL tear is like no joke.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Oh, it's so brutal, and it never it never is
the same. Do you do you think, though, what you've
gained and the knowledge you've gained in terms of physically
and mentally, like the discipline, have you really been able
to carry that into what you do now and your life.
I mean, you were a fucking police officer at one point.
(15:53):
I'm like, dude, you have literally checked so many boxes
and I feel like, you know, I don't know you,
but what I've can witness and absorbing like your story
is you have just constantly been like fuck it if
I if I don't do this.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
I won't know.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Yeah, and you've really tackled it like at its core,
head on, fucking grab the bull by its horns, and you're.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Like, let's ride. And I respect that about you.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Do you want to talk about the risk or talk
about taking a chance and betting on yourself and really
diving into, you know, these different avenues of becoming a
police officer and then doing that for seven years and saying,
you know, I'm just gonna go to Hollywood, like what.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
Yeah, I I never in my life thought I would
be a police officer. I did, like, you know, I
watched Silence of the Lambs as a kid, and I
was like, ooh, Jodie Foster.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
You know I was a kid.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Yeah, yeah, I know I should snug some shows in
I shouldn't have seen. You know, you're the shit out
of me, I know, I know. I just I was
alway so fascinated with people in psychology. Yeah, and so
I thought, first of all, I thought that was a
real job, and it turns out it's not like really
that real of a job. But I went to school
(17:11):
for psychology and I wanted to just I've always felt
kind of like weird and socially awkward and whatever, and
I just kind of wanted to understand people more. And
I also was really just blown away by why people
do terrible things like like serial killer or mobsters or whatever.
(17:32):
And as I started to learn more and more, I
was like, Oh, people are just We're all just figuring
ourselves out. We're all just figuring it out, and sometimes
the reaction to dealing with life is something that you know,
is maybe morally reprehensible. But I just kind of fell
into law enforcement because my school had a program that
(17:55):
they kind of advertised is like, you know, you get
free room and board, and you know, I wasn't making money,
and you get to go to the games for free,
and you get to do all these things. I met
the Dalai Lama through that program. I as yeah, escorded
one of the princesses of Thailand arounds, which seemed wildly irresponsible.
(18:17):
Hot it was like hot, how am I I had
literally have a picture with her and I'm wearing too
like Jigglypuff Pokemon necklace. I just I'm like, this is crazy,
But it always came down to yeah, it was it
was like, I'm this kind of scares me, and I
think I need to do it, and if I think
(18:40):
it will make me better, Like there are a lot
of things that I think scare me that I don't
think will make me better. So I continue with this program.
And I was kind of having a little bit of
a crisis post graduation of what I wanted to do
with my life. And since I already had a law
enforcement CREDITI I just found a city to work for,
(19:04):
wound up working in their crisis intervention team, and wow,
just kind of working with mental health crisis and we
do like dementia, autism. We're just like specially trained and
all that. So it was kind of a function of
psychology that I felt I was really I guess adept
(19:26):
at doing. But at one point I was just like, man,
I like athletics has always been something that has given
me a piece of mind and like helped me clear
my mind. And I kind of felt like I wasn't.
I was just stagnant in a weird way. So I
finally was like, I'm going to set a goal for
(19:46):
myself and I just want to get really strong. And
I went to a gym and instead of suggesting powerlifting
and suggested bodybuilding, and I was like, screw it, let's
do it. And I just kind of like fell in
love with the like I could see it. I could
see my muscles growing like fairly quickly. I mean you
can put on like half a pound of pound of
(20:07):
muscle a month. You see it pretty quickly. And then
when you learn how you can manipulate your nutrition and
lean out and get bigger. It was just like a
really cool experiment on the body, I guess. And then
I also wanted to act, so that was like always
a passion as a kid. I was in marching band.
I was like, I was always into art and yeah,
(20:30):
so I was like I need, I need to get
back into art. And I found an on screen acting
class and then I really was like this, this is
what I have to do for my body to breathe.
Like I just felt like I wasn't breathing when I
was when I was working in law enforcement, and I
(20:51):
just kind of thought if I if I don't do this,
I don't know what my future will be so I
just did the crazy move to Los Angeles, and.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
Well.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
People always ask when you make that leap of faith
and you kind of bet on yourself, Everyone's always like,
what's the scariest part? I want to ask you, what's
what was the best part of reinventing yourself? Over and
over and like checking all these boxes and proving most importantly,
and what I teach my daughter is like proving to
yourself what you can do and accomplish and the things
(21:26):
you can push your body and mind to.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Like what was the best part of that?
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Because I think more women need to hear that, and
more people need to hear that, because we are in
such a fear based culture right now that it kind
of jades our growth a little bit, and it keeps
us in line, and it keeps us not taking those opportunities.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
So I want the listeners to know.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
If you could articulate what was the best fucking part
about betting on yourself and going for it.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
I felt free the first time in my life. I
was doing what I wanted to do and what felt
right for me, And so that was was a Channi's job.
When freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose, right,
Like I just felt like all I had was myself
and this passion, and it really just it fueled the fire.
(22:21):
And it was like I was so broke when I
first moved to LA and I mean immediately, like all
these expenses coming from Indiana that I like, oh my god, yeah,
like car insurance is four times as much, you know,
people just crashing into my car. Gas ye yeah, gas
went from two dollars to eight now, you know, you're like, whoa.
(22:43):
And even the cost of like rent groceries just ten
percent sales tax out here. I was. I was not
prepared for how broke I would be. And I even considered, like,
you know, maybe I don't pay rent anymore and I
just sleep in this car that I'm paying so much
money for. But I felt like I was okay with that,
uh weirdly at the time. And now, you know, priorities change.
(23:05):
I have like family and wife that I have to
stay care of and stuff, so like I have to
have a little bit more stability. But it just felt
like I was on a new adventure and it was
just maybe the most excited I've ever been. So when
I think about going back and doing something else, now
(23:25):
it fills me with just such dread and yeah, I
couldn't do it. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Stay tuned.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
I'll be back in just a moment after this brief
message from our sponsors.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Yeah, well, speaking of your wife, I.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
You you have really become such a queer icon. And
I don't say that lightly and like a lot of
people like hear that probably are like I don't know
about that, but you really have and and you have,
You've you're on out one hundred. You're paving the way
for like serious queer representation and doing it your way,
(24:15):
which I like, really love because when I was younger,
I didn't see people like us in movies or in
magazines or even in sports.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
And for a really long time, like.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
I thought I was a boy because I wanted to
be a professional athlete and only I only saw men
doing it. And like, what what does it feel like
now being such a pivotal part of queer representation and
media and movies, and like it does it? Does it
(24:50):
excite you? Do you feel like that type of weight
is like not what you've asked for or you're like, yeah,
I'm gonna keep pushing and asking the questions to demand
more and more and more and more, or because these
young kids, not even young, all of us deserve it.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
Yeah, I don't feel like a weight on myself. And
because I also feel like I have a great community
around here, or not just around here, but within the
entertainment business, and we're all pushing for changes and improvement.
I mean, it's one of those things when I meet
(25:25):
with producers or other actors and I'm like, why do
we not have a women's action role comparatively to like
something that Jackie Chan would you back in the day.
You know, there's no like women that are fighting for
their community. There's no women that are fighting just with
their hands. It's always with a gun, or it's always
in a fantasy world or sci fi or something like that.
(25:48):
So why I'm as big as Jackie Chan, Why like,
why can't we do this? And it's so funny that
there's not even a narrative out there for it, Like
there's not they don't even know how to write a
script to do this, and it's it's just wild to me.
So it's something that you see the little the things
(26:08):
that are missing, and you just try to fill that.
But then it's also how are we gonna get this financed.
I you know, there are there's a very big homophobic
market that doesn't want to see that. There's a very
big you know people hate women. It's just like more
than it seems like they had ten years ago. So
(26:30):
it's fighting those battles.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
And you did, you know and love lives and bleeding you.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
You did get to portray you know, this queer character
with Kristen Stewart. By the way, fucking great movie, like
so fun, oh my god, because it's just it's so
every time you watch a queer character, it's like the
same shit over and over. For me, it's like this
(26:54):
coming out story or it's this like whole just it's
just not real and it's not raw, and it's always
like I just really really love the weirdness of the movie.
And I don't know, I just I don't know you,
(27:15):
but I felt like I saw you and like really you.
And I don't think most people get to have the
ability to play a character like that that is so
true to who they are, to how they move in
the world. Like even the scene when you're fucking body
like it's just beautiful in front of all of like
(27:37):
what what was that like to portray a queer character
on screen with Kristen Stewart, come on, like what was that?
Speaker 3 (27:48):
Like? What was that?
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Like?
Speaker 3 (27:50):
It was? It was kind of wild. I would it
was an open casting call. They couldn't find this body
boulder character, right, and I didn't that. Yes, someone posted
something on Twitter which I will never call x uh
and they they were like they're looking for this person.
(28:11):
Someone tagged me in it and I was like, oh, yeah,
that's me. They were looking for a queer bodybuilder to
star alongside Christmas Store in this movie. And I was like, yeah, okay,
I'll do that. And I was really curious as to
why I didn't even get an audition, because I've like
that casting office knows me that my agents would. I'm like,
(28:33):
why would you not? This is me? And then when
I got just my audition sides, which I finally got
an audition, I put a whole power point together. I
was like, here's my moving on here if you need it, like,
here's me with you know, my bodybuilding pictures and whatever.
So I got the audition, I'm reading just what the
words and everything. It was so well written, which I
(28:58):
get so many rips, and I'm like how how did
this get funded? You know, I'm like how? But this
was something that was It was just so beautiful and
I think it helped that Rose Glass is queer, you know,
and so she's got an understanding of women and this
lifestyle I guess, and but not bodybuilding, but like two
(29:22):
women loving each other gets uh, And yeah, it was.
It was just everything that I learned about this character
made me want to be her more and more, play
her more and more because I felt so many little connections.
And then I just walked into a callback. I walked
into the room like I already had the part because
(29:44):
I was like, this is just me and yeah. Then
I had like six more auditions where I was like
to the point where the last one I was like,
shooting starts in two weeks. If it's not me, you
need to find someone else. I'm not gonna come in
anymore because I'm not gonna do it any differently. So
you can watch all the old things that I've done.
(30:06):
I just I get really stubborn about things. So I
was like, I have fought for this, but if it's
not working for you, I don't want to be the
wrong person for this part. I don't think I am,
but I don't want to be. And I finally got
the part and then it was fun like our it
was like the third audition was the Chemistry we read
(30:27):
with Kristen Oh wow, And I just kind of walked
outside and she's just sitting in the in the room
and I'm like, would it bother you if I talked
to you for a bit before and She's like no,
So we just sat down and chatted before we even
went in, and she was just super chill. And yeah,
it just kind of was like I think that that
(30:48):
wasn't the energy that I expect from like such a
big as icon whatever, just just so like whatever just
laid back. So I was that maybe more excited, and
then as we started going, we were both just kind
of like down to We were both very passionate about
this project. And yeah, it's like being gay is not
(31:08):
even kind of the conflict in it. It's like very
rare that you see that, and we're kind of not
we're not role models in it, you know. It's just
we loved just how raw and gritty and and just
insane the script was, so that fueled our fire for it,
and I think it was a really fun collaboration, and
(31:31):
I hope she feels the same.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Well, I would assume so, because I like it is
so chemistry is so important and I can't imagine just
being thrown into that and being like.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
Here, shoot your shot.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
But like, that's what that's what makes you so special,
and that's what makes actors so special is their ability
to show up and fucking nail it right there. And
I like, you have such a cool show personality, and
you know you're a queer person.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Like I love hearing that she was just fucking normal.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
I love hearing just these people who are so iconic
in our community or whether it's music or acting, like
they're just cool, fucking people and they realize very quickly
they're not carrying cancer, that they're here to bring life
into people and move them in a certain particular way,
(32:27):
and they don't take themselves too seriously.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
You don't always get that in Hollywood, as I know,
I know, unfortunately.
Speaker 3 (32:36):
It's it's one of those things where at the end
of the day, when you read a play, it's called
a play. Right, You are supposed to have fun movie making,
filmmaking it should be fun, and it should be a
way for people to escape from reality when they watch it.
It's not yet, like you said, we're not caring cancer.
We're not rescuing people from burning buildings or anything. But
(33:01):
the hope is to entertain and to bring joy to
someone and to help someone feel seen too. Is is
so important And yeah, I just I find joy in that,
and I hope other people do. I grew up, you know,
in the Midwest. It's so boring sometimes. So I've watched
a lot of movies and oftentimes when I would see
(33:23):
something like or like Xena on TV or g I
Jane or you know, some of these like really strong women,
I was like, Oh, I want I want to be that.
That's so cool. It just inspired me.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
I was saying this to one of my friends who's
in the in the in the industry, And like, the
way you've carved out like some of the biggest fucking
blockbuster hits is such a credit to who you are
and how you show up. It's clear that people want
to work with you, which is different. It's like the
same as a team as you are on a set.
(33:57):
Like how you move in that chemistry and how you
move in that space affects the whole. Yeah, and like
I never have heard anything but really fantastic and great
things about you. So I think it's a real credit
to who you are, how you show up, and how
you choose to show up and stay humble in an
(34:18):
industry that's often not the easiest. So I'm curious what
you feel like your wife is a writer, correct, yes, okay,
which is that's I need you guys to make something together,
I know, like tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, And I can imagine
those dinner talks like what do you both feel right now?
(34:40):
That is really missing, you know, from movies and storylines
and queer representation or underrepresented communities.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
I think that what we're really is still finding difficulty
with is seeing someone like me as a lead without
you know, a wig or something in a blockbuster. I
think that that's still a very hard sell because something
(35:10):
was specifically like a blockbuster is going to go for
like an international market. And I don't know if you
just saw, like there was a movie that in China
they they changed the gender of a queer couple or
they changed one of the people to a different gender
so that they would be a straight couple through AI
(35:30):
n to show it to their audiences, and that is
a huge market, by the way. So and then it
was a Neon movie and they pushed back fortunately, which
was really cool. But yeah, they they did that, and
you know, an ant man, it was like a big
thing that I think it was like guitar didn't want
(35:53):
a Pride flag in a bookstore, like something that small.
They just didn't want it in the movie. So there
are all these little things that you're still fighting for.
And it's almost maybe nearly impossible for someone's to like
me to be a lead in a blockbuster. So that's
something that we're trying to to gradually change. I don't
(36:15):
know if we ever will, but if I don't, someone will,
I'm sure. But it's just a it's a tell the times,
I guess, and I will say the reason I am
able to get where I am right now is because
of all the people before me that paved the way.
So by the time I made it to Los Angeles,
(36:37):
they were looking for androgynous women. They were looking for
this term that everyone hates ethnically ambiguous, and I'm biracial,
so I was like, yay, I checked these two boxes.
And then all of these shows, Marvels, Walking Dead, d
C comics, all this stuff that was becoming really popular.
They loved having, you know, a martial arts back or
(37:01):
a police background. So all of those things just kind
of like came together just the right place, right time.
And I was very fortunate because if I had shown
up in Hollywood ten years earlier, it wouldn't be the same.
I'm sure I would have to probably still have my
long hair and maybe like pretend to be straight or something.
But I just don't think that was ever going to
(37:22):
work out. I think my wife laughs because she's like,
you walk like it lets me. I just can't. I
don't know that I can. I quite hide it.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
I get it.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
Yeah, I get it through and through.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
This is wide open, and I'm your host, Ashlyn Harris.
Thanks for listening.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
We'll be right back. Do you think you know?
Speaker 1 (37:51):
Because my partner is an actor and who's been raised
in this scene for a long time, and like she's
such a gentle song in that space, I'm always like, how,
like how how has it not broke you in a
lot of ways because it's a really, really tough industry
(38:14):
and it's a very competitive industry. And I'm curious because
as a queer woman, as someone who's been so in
touch with their body who knows themselves through and through.
Has it made it easier for you to navigate and
move in this new dynamic of your job of what
(38:36):
you're doing as an actor because of the life you've
lived in the discipline you've had in sport to really
like know yourself because I am I imagine that's your superpower,
but I'm I don't know.
Speaker 3 (38:54):
Yeah, No, I'm really good at uh. I don't think
you can make change in anyway or make progress unless
you're very honest with yourself about who you are, and
you can make changes like that's that's definitely possible. But no,
I do think that's so important. And then that helps
me not question like I'm always gonna question you. Am
(39:18):
I being as as kind as possible to someone? Or
am I being as fair in this situation? And I
surround myself with people that will be honest to me
about that, and and my wife is definitely one of
those people where she will remind me certain things. So
I think that knowing yourself is really important. And actually
(39:40):
it's like a It's like those three Delphiic maxims on
the Temple of Delphi is like know thyself nothing in excess,
and there's like one other, but I really do those
two for sure. I'm not into extremism. I like to
and that's why I kind of taper it away from
bodybuilding competitions. And I'm not I'm not really I don't
(40:05):
want to second guess myself, but I do want to
make sure that I'm like, I'm staying grounded and I
understand and I'm staying focused. And then kind of like
you you put pointed earlier, this this whole industry and
being on set is a team industry, and you have
to want to service the team as best as you can.
And let's say that you know, someone comes into that
(40:28):
team and they're just a better forward than you are,
and you're like, shit, I got it, Like they're so good.
I'm not gonna sit there and say, well, I was
always that person, Like they can't come in. I'm gonna
want to service the team. So I just lost it.
There's a I don't know if you know kayleer Rey's
it's a boxer. She's just like a badass and we're
(40:50):
constantly going for up for each other's parts, and she
just got something that I was maybe up for, potentially
possibly but when I think about it, I'm like, that
makes sense, and I think that's going to serve better
service the story for what they're looking for. It just
makes sense. And also having met her and knowing how
(41:14):
cool she is and like how how much she like,
how serious she is about this and focused and everything,
I just want to cheer her on. So there's also
that aspect of cool. Yeah, you you can't like if
someone else gets apart, you just have to celebrate them
because it's it's a win for everybody at that point.
(41:35):
And I also, like, I think martial arts is is
you you're constantly failing. You know, you're you're constantly getting
beat up, You're constantly being thrown to the ground, and
it's the resilience of learning how to stand up. And
(41:56):
it's like, Okay, what did I do wrong that time,
or what did I do right that last time? How
do I adjust my like you said earlier technique my
mindset something like that to go in with a better
focus the next round. So I think that that that
level of athletics isn't the bodybuilding too. I'm not you know,
I'm not a pro bodybuilder. I I don't know that
(42:18):
I have us so yeah, I don't know that I
have what it takes to be a pro bodybuilder, honestly,
Like I've gotten as lean as I feel comfortable getting
and with how competitions are judged these days, and my
first contest, it was like I got docked points because
my suit wasn't like cute enough, you know, and it
(42:41):
was a little too big, and I'm like, I worked
so hard to get here and it's my outfit that
is being judged right now. It's fucking crazy. It's crazy.
It's a crazy world. So then you just kind of
have to like it's not in your control. You know,
you can only do so much, and the judges are
(43:02):
going to judge how they want to judge. And then
when you go into an audition, the outcome is not
in your control. You can just give the best performance.
I love auditioning because I get to practice what I
love doing, and so that's what I do. And sometimes
I don't even look at like I see what they
want for the breakdown of the character, but I read
the size and I'm like, that's not what I feel
this character is, and I'll do what I want. And
(43:26):
oftentimes that doesn't work out, and sometimes it does, and yeah,
I just.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
Think again again, betting on yourself, gulling with your gut
like that is like such a key takeaway because in
your industry, usually it's body shaming. You have to look
a certain way, you need to be tall, you need
to be thin, you need to be this, you're not
enough this, you're not enough that. And you just show
up and you're like, actually, I'm just gonna be fucking
(43:51):
me and either you roll with it or you don't.
And that's I think a lot of people need to
sit and hear that, because we bend ourselves so fucking
much for other people. It gets to a point where
we don't even recognize the person we're looking at in
the mirror. And I think you're really true testament of
just doing you. And I think people are envious of
(44:13):
that and they want to be like that, but they
don't want to feel the shame of being exactly who
they are. It's easier to be someone else.
Speaker 3 (44:21):
Yeah, and no social media is so I it just
elevates that. I feel like it makes it even worse.
And because your entire life could be on display for
a robot and then you're sitting there having a robot
make you feel bad, or someone that like you literally
will never meet in your entire life, and you're letting
(44:41):
them make you feel bad. It's so bizarre to me.
I was watching this documentary about Phil Heath, who is
one of the greatest bodybuilders of all time, and he's
also one of the first bodybuilders. He's like mister Olympia,
like I don't know, eight times wow in a row,
you know. Uh. And he's one of the first ones
(45:01):
to have to deal with social media as Instagram was
coming out, and the way that people would have the
audacity to get online and talk about this man's body,
knowing that he's the best in the world at what
he does, and they're trying to trash talk him and
(45:22):
they it's just it's funny to me, and it's to me,
is symptomatic of them not feeling happy with themselves, because
why else would you do this, Why else would you
want to tear someone down?
Speaker 2 (45:34):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (45:35):
So it's just wild to me. But it had an
impact on him, and and that's that's something that also
I had to check it's like, because it does you know,
it is hurtful sometimes when when you see how much
negativity and hostility there is in the world oh God, yeah, yeah,
But I mean the best you can do is continue
(45:55):
to show up and and I think be yourself and
not let that bring you down because then what they
then they win.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
It's yeah, I think that's also the best part of
this new phase of life.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
Like, you know, I'm about to turn forty and I'm
really in the like the phase of.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
My piece is my piece. Yeah, even if the world
outside is on fire, in this house, it's peace and
I hold on to that. And with that, I know,
I mean I could say what's next for you? But
I know Running Man is what's next for you?
Speaker 2 (46:33):
Work wise?
Speaker 1 (46:34):
But like personally, by the way, everyone a new movie
of course, Katie's and Running Man that's coming out in
November and I'm really with Glenn Powell and i can't
wait to watch it, So everyone go check that out.
But what is next for you, like for you personally,
for you and your wife, for the peace in your
home outside of what you do, Like.
Speaker 2 (46:54):
What is next?
Speaker 3 (46:56):
Well, you know, I have I have four movies coming out.
I have to pick I had Am in the next
two months. I have a rom com Maintenance Required that
comes out next week. I have so it's October eighth.
I think I have Queens of the Dead gets a
theatrical release. It's this queer zombie movie that Georgia Meiro's
daughter puts. Yeah, she wanted to honor her father's legacy
(47:21):
but also in her own way, and so it was
like the whole queer community of New York came out
and put this like budget of glitter and shoelace together
to make something very fun and campy and and so cool.
So that'll be out October twenty fourth in theaters. And
(47:42):
then Christy, which is the story of Christy Martin, who
is a woman boxer. She's absolutely incredible. That comes out,
I want to say, November seventh. And then Running Thing
comes out November fourteen, So it's absolutely wow. It's gonna
be a weird couple of months, but I'm sorry, it's
my friends.
Speaker 2 (48:02):
So so pretty much Katie saying bye bye. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (48:05):
I won't get down.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
I'm working, but not for a couple of months. But
support me, yeah, by movies.
Speaker 3 (48:11):
But we really, you know, we are, like like I said,
we're trying to create some of our own things now
and produce some of our own projects that we feel
either fill a hole or just something that we're passionate
about and want to do. So oftentimes, if I get
a script that I think is really amazing, I'll have
Kylie my wife like kind of script doctor a little
(48:34):
bit to make it a little bit better or fill
in some of the gaps that it's missing, for like
a I think, a smoother narrative. So we've kind of
been doing that and trying to produce some things. And
then on the deeper level, we are in the process
of we're doing our like family playing. We're deep in
(48:54):
the process.
Speaker 1 (48:55):
If I love that, Yeah, I love that, And that's
not always that easy. So it's like the process for
fertility to have family, and I like it is.
Speaker 2 (49:08):
People don't talk about it enough. So I wish you.
Speaker 1 (49:11):
Both like the best because it's it's definitely a tough, tough,
but beautiful journey.
Speaker 3 (49:22):
Yeah, we're we're very excited and we're fortunate. I mean,
hopefully we don't scare them off. I don't know, but
we've got an amazing donor who I love that for
a long time and just seems to be really game
to like just help us create a family, which is
just so so beautiful and we're like, what can we
can we give you in return? But yeah, so we
(49:45):
have we have that setup, which is awesome, and you know,
just going through the process of like, you know, we
we have a house. We're trying to make it a
little more yeah baby, yeah, yeah, kid friendly. And then
our dog is insane. So we're also trying to desensitize
(50:05):
her kids because the last thing you want is like
she just she doesn't like write or attack anyone. I'm
not gonna but she's uh, she's like a hurder. So
she and she barks when she does that, so she
terrifies people. And she'll like nudge kids, you know, like
(50:26):
if they're not in the packs, like nudge them.
Speaker 2 (50:28):
I wonder where she gets that from.
Speaker 3 (50:30):
I don't that's her, that's her mom. We fostered the
whole litter and I saw how her mom behaved there.
Speaker 1 (50:38):
We go, yeah, yeah, it sounds like you're very busy,
which yeah.
Speaker 2 (50:44):
Also it's a good thing.
Speaker 1 (50:47):
And I wish you and your wife the absolute best
and I look forward to continue watching your career. And
thank you so much for coming on here, being vulnerable,
being honest, than being such a trailblazer and the queer
community and representing us so beautifully and staying true to
(51:07):
yourself in the process, which is really important. And I'm
glad I get to watch from a very very far lens.
Feel like it feels really nice to see someone like
yourself on TV. And I'm hopeful for this younger generation
because I know you and I didn't have it, And
(51:27):
you know, how cool is it to say that you're
able to give that to a lot of young kids
who need it right now. And I personally want to
say thank you because it's really life saving, it really is.
So I appreciate your work, Katie, and thank you so
much for coming on Wide Open. And if you could
(51:48):
leave our listeners and those who are watching with one thing,
what would you leave them with?
Speaker 3 (51:56):
You know, it's always weird, like to be on a
podcast like this and then you sail nice things and
then I have to be like, because you know, I
watched y'all win the World Cup, Like I got to
see those moments, and like when women's soccer was like reinstated,
it was I was still I was like almost a
teenager or something, right like when we went against China,
(52:17):
yeah ninety nine, So all of that matters, Like The
first thing that I did when I found out I
had Crohn's disease was look up athletes with crones disease,
because I wanted to know if I could still perform
how I used to perform. So you being out there
and doing what you do and then doing things like
this is iconic and I also very much appreciate that.
(52:42):
So I want to sit here and take all that.
But I think, you know, I don't know. The theme
over here has been be yourself, do your best, and
you know, there's just try to take a step out
the door, you know, like cash Grass. Yeah, there we are.
Speaker 2 (53:02):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (53:03):
Well.
Speaker 2 (53:04):
I appreciate you being on Katie.
Speaker 1 (53:05):
Good luck with all of these new movies and shows
coming out so deserving, and hopefully you know, we get
a little bit of a double date going on here pretty.
Speaker 2 (53:15):
Soon, sweet when we're back in LA.
Speaker 3 (53:18):
I'm ready.
Speaker 1 (53:18):
We're based in New York at the moment, but we're
always in LA.
Speaker 3 (53:22):
I'm gonna be spending a bit of time in New
York the next couple of weeks.
Speaker 1 (53:26):
So okay, well, let us know we would gladly support you.
Hi to your wife, and until next time, all right,
thank you, Thanks all right. Thanks everyone for tuning in
to another episode of Wide Open.
Speaker 2 (53:39):
I'll see you next week.
Speaker 1 (53:45):
Wide Open with Ashland Harris is an iHeart women's sports production.
You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts. Our producers are Carmen Borca, Coreo,
Emily Maronov, and Lucy Jones. Production assistants from Malia Aguidello.
(54:06):
Our executive producers are Jesse Katz, Jenny Kaplan and Emily Rudder.
Speaker 2 (54:11):
Our editors are Jenny
Speaker 1 (54:12):
Kaplan and Emily Rudder and I'm your host, Ashlyn Harris
Host
Ashlyn Harris
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