September 19, 2018 • 14 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, My fiance and I have been together for six years. He's 50 and I'm 35 and this will be the first marriage for both of us. When he proposed my intuition told me he was not ready to be married. A month ago, my fiance and I got into a big argument about his family and I didn't like his response or how he acted in front of our 3 year old daughter. So we haven't really been speaking. Two nights ago, he never came home from work and he did not answer my calls or text messages. I received a message from an acquaintance on social media saying that my fiance was at a bar downtown so I drove down to the bar hoping to see him there alone so we could try to resolve our issue. As soon as I walked in and saw him, my heart sank.........
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, bugger lap and hold on tight. We got it
for you. Here it is. It's that time, the strawberry
letta thank you, nev a subject unhappily engaged and ready
to walk. Here Stephen Shirley. My fiance and I have
been together for six years. He's fifty and I'm thirty five,
and this will be the first marriage for both of us.
(00:20):
When he proposed, my intuition told me he was not
ready to be married. A month ago, my fiance got
in and I got into a big argument about his family,
and I didn't like his response or how he acted
in front of our three year old daughter, so we
haven't really been speaking. Two nights ago, he never came
home from work and he did not answer my calls
(00:42):
or text messages. I received a message from an acquaintance
on social media saying that my fiance was at a
bar downtown, so I drove down to the bar, hoping
to see him there alone so we could try to
resolve our issue. As soon as I walked in and
saw him, my heart think he was at a table
(01:02):
with another woman. I walked right over to their table
and I sat next to the woman and I started, okay, yeah,
I started going on why, I don't know, I don't know.
The woman was in shock and she remained totally quiet.
(01:25):
I told him that the wedding was off and then
I left. I cried all the way home. He came
home shortly after me, and we talked. He said that
I am overreacting and I jumped to conclusions because of
how it looked. He told me that she is his
coworker and she wanted to watch the game after work,
and that's all it was. It definitely, would you say, Steve, oh,
(01:49):
you like that? It definitely didn't look innocent to me.
She had on makeup, her hair was done, and she
was not dressed like she had uh, like she had
been at work all day. Steve, you say that a
woman's intuition is her greatest gift. So my intuition tells
me he's lying, and therefore I concluded that he's not
(02:09):
ready to get married. What do you think? Well, I
think you're absolutely right, and you have to go with
your gut. I mean, in the third sentence of this letter,
you said You're intuition told you he wasn't ready for marriage,
and the second to the last sentence, uh, you said
he's not ready as well. So you just, you know,
(02:30):
just based on those two things, I would have to
agree with you. He is not ready. You guys don't
even know how to resolve conflict or anything. I mean
you you got into an argument about his family. You
he says something crazy, you didn't like his response, and
you didn't like how he acted in front of your
three year old daughters. So you guys have issues, unresolved,
(02:51):
issues that need to be taken care of. You. You,
you stopped talking. He didn't come home that night. You
find him at a bar with another woman. He gives
you were pretty lie. But it is a lie. But
Steve liked it. It was a pretty one. Now it
was a pretty one. But yeah, the guys like it.
(03:12):
The women can see through it. No, he was You're right,
he was lying. Whatever your intuition tells you that. That's yeah. Yeah,
come on now, um, but but yeah, you guys aren't ready.
You you aren't ready either, Steve. Oh, just let us
kind of crazy tell you the truth. My fiance saying,
(03:34):
I've been together for six years. He fifty, I'm thirty five.
This would be the first marriage for both of us.
Red Flag. He's fifty and I'm thirty five. This will
be the first marriage for both of us. Red flag
fifty old man ain't never been married? Read flag. When
(03:56):
he proposed, my intuition told me he wasn't ready to
be Marrid? What he fifty? If he ready? What? What? What?
What are you waiting? Y'all been together six years? A
man proposed to you that you think ain't ready for Marridge?
He fifty? Y'all been together six years? He ain't ready
to get married? Wow? What you're talking to him for? What? What? What? What? What?
(04:21):
What is your takeaway from this relationship? You know he
ain't ready to get married. You're talking to him he fifty?
He still ain't ready? Why are you with him? But
you got a baby now, so you know, trying to
make it work. A month ago, my fiance had got
into a big argument about his family. I didn't like
his response and high acted in front our three year old.
(04:43):
So we haven't been speaking. Two nights ago, he never
came home from work and he did not answer my
calls a text. What now that you cannot do? You
cannot not come home? Come on and then don't answer
no text or no call? Dog? Dog, you cannot do that.
(05:04):
I received a text from acquaintance on social media. Uh,
you have an acquaintance on social media. Acquaintances. See you
didn't say girlfriend one of my girls. Some dude. Probably,
I'm just assuming since it's an acquaintance. Some dude saying
(05:25):
that your fiance was at a bar downtown. So you
got in your car. You drove downtown hoping to see
him there alone in a ball alone. Ain't the ball open? Yeah,
it makes sense. How she meant, how are you going
(05:47):
to see him alone at a ball? She meant with
by himself, not with another woman. You know what she meant. No, no, no, no,
she meant she drove down that line to bust him.
The acquaintance told him he was at a bar, and
the acquaintance said he was with a girl. You best
(06:08):
to believe that. That's why you got in your car
and drove down because the acquaintance told you he was
at the bar with a girl. That's why you would
say I drove down there hoping to see him there alone. Well,
who makes that statement. I'm going to see if he's alone. No,
you already had the information. So let's stop this so
(06:33):
we could try to resolve our issue. As soon as
I walk in I saw him. My heart sank. He
was at the table with another woman. I walked right
over to the table, set next to the woman and
started going to lord, man, God, let me tell you something.
(06:55):
As soon as I saw you walking towards the table,
I got him, got my jacket, and when that's right now, now,
I walk right past you like we never saw each other,
with you nothing doing. Sit over there next to her
and go off. You go over there and sitting next
to her. But I'm gonna be in the car, all right.
Don't worry. We're gonna have two. Steve's response coming up,
(07:19):
fifty fifty. Ain't never been mad. Red flag. They got
in the argument, they quit talking. This man, don't come home,
don't work for a day or so, don't call, don't
return none of the calls or texas. Then she get
a message from an acquaintance quote wink wink, that mean
dude on social media that your husband was downtown at
(07:42):
the ball. So your man was down to you drove
to the ball hoping to see him alone. You know,
good here, Willy wasn't bas. As soon as I walk in,
I saw him in my heart. Say you don't think
his heart ain't say kids about him. You shut up, Shirley,
This ain't yourn You think heart was the only one
that saying. You don't think when he looked up and
(08:04):
saw you, You don't think he swallowed his tongue. Yea,
but he caring about him. You don't think he damned
they had to give himself a hamli. Then you walk
right over to the table and sitting next to the
woman and start going on. The woman was in shock.
(08:27):
She remained totally quiet. I told him that the wind
was off, and then I left. You wouldn't have had
a chance to do that to me, because when I
saw you coming, I would have got my members only
jest walked right past you. Hey, where are you going?
I would act like I never seen You're not getting married.
(08:51):
I told him the win was off and I left.
I cried all the way home. He came home after
me and we talked. He said, I'm overreacting and jumped
to conclusions of high. Look you did, m you did
jump to a conclusion of high. Look. The problem he
made was he ain't been home. He ain't returned no
phone calls and no text He printed guilty on this situation.
(09:15):
He printed guilty on this. He told me that she's
his co worker and she wanted to watch the game
after work. That's a good one. Since when did it
become your job to make sure she see the game?
That's what I can't She was, she was at work
and she wanted to see the game. So we came
(09:39):
down here now here to her problem. Now here her problem.
She wanted to watch the game after work, and that
was it. It definitely didn't look innocent to me. She
had on makeup, her hat was done, and she was
not dressed like she had been to work, unlike you.
How did she got this damn message? And now you
(10:01):
to come down to the ball your hair, roller set,
You gotta roller set and a rag around your head
tied into it. Ain't your man and not in the front.
You got that housecoat on with all of them damn
footballs on it, the one where you didn't picked up
Wait because you know the baby three. You ain't lost
(10:23):
the baby weight, so it don't really tie in the boat.
You got it tied in a knock. Now you got
all these all these all these limpballs on this thing.
You got your house slippers on with the chicken grease
on them. You're coming down to the ball, strat, ain't
gotta stick of makeup on a matter of fact, forgot
(10:44):
to take that damn cold cream. You walked in the
ball looking like the joker. Now you made this woman
she's sitting up in here, got makeup on it, got
her had done this half for knew I was coming
down here looking like, ain't Jemima at the spot. That's
(11:07):
what happened. What happened? That is exactly Steve, you say
a woman's intuition is her greatest gift. I told you that.
So what you go down that dress like that folk
looking like I'm telling you she was looking crazy because
therest things she said. She's sitting up in here, got
makeup on, her hair done. She in public, people putting
(11:30):
makeup on and do they had to go in public.
But that ain't what you was looking like when you
taking She would looking jet crazy, looks like your mama
looked when she used to come up to the school.
What my mama had to come up to school? Had
(11:50):
that coat on their hand, no buttons on it. Yeah,
I noticed, saying I know exactly what happened. She don't
got got that outfit on. She's leap in that hunting
out fit. Got Mitch mc thickass socks on down there
helping jam down, jam with that fur row with that,
with that, with that robo looks like it ought to
(12:12):
be on the back of the toilet. And the other
girls looking all sexy and fine. She's sitting up in
here with her hair done, got makeup on for that
in public, you're the one came out the house looking like,
ain't your mama due rest? Come down here and you
cussing up the wadness all oh man, you're looking like that,
(12:35):
know huh? Sitting up in here? Now what you want
us to take? Now? My intuition tells me he's lying.
And before I concluse that he's not ready to get mad?
What do you think? What do we think would marry?
I ain't gonna this. Ain't your first time walking in
(12:59):
up somebody to roll up on the bunch. A matter
of fact, this is your thing, you like rolling up,
you to roll up in her car running outside. That's
why the woman didn't say nothing, because she was scared.
You know how you look when you got cold on
your face and your hair roller set. Why would she
(13:19):
go out the house looking like that? Because the man
call Hunt told her she was down there, so to
beat him, she got to go down there as is.
And that's just how crazy she was looking. Cold Cream,
cold Cream got that that scar phone with the Glover's
main on it. It was around game time. She up
(13:39):
in here. Man got that scarf on the smell like
self eight. All right, look we gotta go, Steve, We'll
go ahead. Got this relationship is over? Yeah, that is
neither one of them already. H uh. Just get your
child support ready? Okay, eyes, we we gotta get out
(14:01):
of here, like I said. Email us or instagram us
your thoughts on today's Strawberry letter at Steve Harvey f M.
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show
Well, bugger lap and hold on tight. We got it
for you. Here it is. It's that time, the strawberry
letta thank you, nev a subject unhappily engaged and ready
to walk. Here Stephen Shirley. My fiance and I have
been together for six years. He's fifty and I'm thirty five,
and this will be the first marriage for both of us.
(00:20):
When he proposed, my intuition told me he was not
ready to be married. A month ago, my fiance got
in and I got into a big argument about his family,
and I didn't like his response or how he acted
in front of our three year old daughter, so we
haven't really been speaking. Two nights ago, he never came
home from work and he did not answer my calls
(00:42):
or text messages. I received a message from an acquaintance
on social media saying that my fiance was at a
bar downtown, so I drove down to the bar, hoping
to see him there alone so we could try to
resolve our issue. As soon as I walked in and
saw him, my heart think he was at a table
(01:02):
with another woman. I walked right over to their table
and I sat next to the woman and I started, okay, yeah,
I started going on why, I don't know, I don't know.
The woman was in shock and she remained totally quiet.
(01:25):
I told him that the wedding was off and then
I left. I cried all the way home. He came
home shortly after me, and we talked. He said that
I am overreacting and I jumped to conclusions because of
how it looked. He told me that she is his
coworker and she wanted to watch the game after work,
and that's all it was. It definitely, would you say, Steve, oh,
(01:49):
you like that? It definitely didn't look innocent to me.
She had on makeup, her hair was done, and she
was not dressed like she had uh, like she had
been at work all day. Steve, you say that a
woman's intuition is her greatest gift. So my intuition tells
me he's lying, and therefore I concluded that he's not
(02:09):
ready to get married. What do you think? Well, I
think you're absolutely right, and you have to go with
your gut. I mean, in the third sentence of this letter,
you said You're intuition told you he wasn't ready for marriage,
and the second to the last sentence, uh, you said
he's not ready as well. So you just, you know,
(02:30):
just based on those two things, I would have to
agree with you. He is not ready. You guys don't
even know how to resolve conflict or anything. I mean
you you got into an argument about his family. You
he says something crazy, you didn't like his response, and
you didn't like how he acted in front of your
three year old daughters. So you guys have issues, unresolved,
(02:51):
issues that need to be taken care of. You. You,
you stopped talking. He didn't come home that night. You
find him at a bar with another woman. He gives
you were pretty lie. But it is a lie. But
Steve liked it. It was a pretty one. Now it
was a pretty one. But yeah, the guys like it.
(03:12):
The women can see through it. No, he was You're right,
he was lying. Whatever your intuition tells you that. That's yeah. Yeah,
come on now, um, but but yeah, you guys aren't ready.
You you aren't ready either, Steve. Oh, just let us
kind of crazy tell you the truth. My fiance saying,
(03:34):
I've been together for six years. He fifty, I'm thirty five.
This would be the first marriage for both of us.
Red Flag. He's fifty and I'm thirty five. This will
be the first marriage for both of us. Red flag
fifty old man ain't never been married? Read flag. When
(03:56):
he proposed, my intuition told me he wasn't ready to
be Marrid? What he fifty? If he ready? What? What? What?
What are you waiting? Y'all been together six years? A
man proposed to you that you think ain't ready for Marridge?
He fifty? Y'all been together six years? He ain't ready
to get married? Wow? What you're talking to him for? What? What? What? What? What?
(04:21):
What is your takeaway from this relationship? You know he
ain't ready to get married. You're talking to him he fifty?
He still ain't ready? Why are you with him? But
you got a baby now, so you know, trying to
make it work. A month ago, my fiance had got
into a big argument about his family. I didn't like
his response and high acted in front our three year old.
(04:43):
So we haven't been speaking. Two nights ago, he never
came home from work and he did not answer my
calls a text. What now that you cannot do? You
cannot not come home? Come on and then don't answer
no text or no call? Dog? Dog, you cannot do that.
(05:04):
I received a text from acquaintance on social media. Uh,
you have an acquaintance on social media. Acquaintances. See you
didn't say girlfriend one of my girls. Some dude. Probably,
I'm just assuming since it's an acquaintance. Some dude saying
(05:25):
that your fiance was at a bar downtown. So you
got in your car. You drove downtown hoping to see
him there alone in a ball alone. Ain't the ball open? Yeah,
it makes sense. How she meant, how are you going
(05:47):
to see him alone at a ball? She meant with
by himself, not with another woman. You know what she meant. No, no, no, no,
she meant she drove down that line to bust him.
The acquaintance told him he was at a bar, and
the acquaintance said he was with a girl. You best
(06:08):
to believe that. That's why you got in your car
and drove down because the acquaintance told you he was
at the bar with a girl. That's why you would
say I drove down there hoping to see him there alone. Well,
who makes that statement. I'm going to see if he's alone. No,
you already had the information. So let's stop this so
(06:33):
we could try to resolve our issue. As soon as
I walk in I saw him. My heart sank. He
was at the table with another woman. I walked right
over to the table, set next to the woman and
started going to lord, man, God, let me tell you something.
(06:55):
As soon as I saw you walking towards the table,
I got him, got my jacket, and when that's right now, now,
I walk right past you like we never saw each other,
with you nothing doing. Sit over there next to her
and go off. You go over there and sitting next
to her. But I'm gonna be in the car, all right.
Don't worry. We're gonna have two. Steve's response coming up,
(07:19):
fifty fifty. Ain't never been mad. Red flag. They got
in the argument, they quit talking. This man, don't come home,
don't work for a day or so, don't call, don't
return none of the calls or texas. Then she get
a message from an acquaintance quote wink wink, that mean
dude on social media that your husband was downtown at
(07:42):
the ball. So your man was down to you drove
to the ball hoping to see him alone. You know,
good here, Willy wasn't bas. As soon as I walk in,
I saw him in my heart. Say you don't think
his heart ain't say kids about him. You shut up, Shirley,
This ain't yourn You think heart was the only one
that saying. You don't think when he looked up and
(08:04):
saw you, You don't think he swallowed his tongue. Yea,
but he caring about him. You don't think he damned
they had to give himself a hamli. Then you walk
right over to the table and sitting next to the
woman and start going on. The woman was in shock.
(08:27):
She remained totally quiet. I told him that the wind
was off, and then I left. You wouldn't have had
a chance to do that to me, because when I
saw you coming, I would have got my members only
jest walked right past you. Hey, where are you going?
I would act like I never seen You're not getting married.
(08:51):
I told him the win was off and I left.
I cried all the way home. He came home after
me and we talked. He said, I'm overreacting and jumped
to conclusions of high. Look you did, m you did
jump to a conclusion of high. Look. The problem he
made was he ain't been home. He ain't returned no
phone calls and no text He printed guilty on this situation.
(09:15):
He printed guilty on this. He told me that she's
his co worker and she wanted to watch the game
after work. That's a good one. Since when did it
become your job to make sure she see the game?
That's what I can't She was, she was at work
and she wanted to see the game. So we came
(09:39):
down here now here to her problem. Now here her problem.
She wanted to watch the game after work, and that
was it. It definitely didn't look innocent to me. She
had on makeup, her hat was done, and she was
not dressed like she had been to work, unlike you.
How did she got this damn message? And now you
(10:01):
to come down to the ball your hair, roller set,
You gotta roller set and a rag around your head
tied into it. Ain't your man and not in the front.
You got that housecoat on with all of them damn
footballs on it, the one where you didn't picked up
Wait because you know the baby three. You ain't lost
(10:23):
the baby weight, so it don't really tie in the boat.
You got it tied in a knock. Now you got
all these all these all these limpballs on this thing.
You got your house slippers on with the chicken grease
on them. You're coming down to the ball, strat, ain't
gotta stick of makeup on a matter of fact, forgot
(10:44):
to take that damn cold cream. You walked in the
ball looking like the joker. Now you made this woman
she's sitting up in here, got makeup on it, got
her had done this half for knew I was coming
down here looking like, ain't Jemima at the spot. That's
(11:07):
what happened. What happened? That is exactly Steve, you say
a woman's intuition is her greatest gift. I told you that.
So what you go down that dress like that folk
looking like I'm telling you she was looking crazy because
therest things she said. She's sitting up in here, got
makeup on, her hair done. She in public, people putting
(11:30):
makeup on and do they had to go in public.
But that ain't what you was looking like when you
taking She would looking jet crazy, looks like your mama
looked when she used to come up to the school.
What my mama had to come up to school? Had
(11:50):
that coat on their hand, no buttons on it. Yeah,
I noticed, saying I know exactly what happened. She don't
got got that outfit on. She's leap in that hunting
out fit. Got Mitch mc thickass socks on down there
helping jam down, jam with that fur row with that,
with that, with that robo looks like it ought to
(12:12):
be on the back of the toilet. And the other
girls looking all sexy and fine. She's sitting up in
here with her hair done, got makeup on for that
in public, you're the one came out the house looking like,
ain't your mama due rest? Come down here and you
cussing up the wadness all oh man, you're looking like that,
(12:35):
know huh? Sitting up in here? Now what you want
us to take? Now? My intuition tells me he's lying.
And before I concluse that he's not ready to get mad?
What do you think? What do we think would marry?
I ain't gonna this. Ain't your first time walking in
(12:59):
up somebody to roll up on the bunch. A matter
of fact, this is your thing, you like rolling up,
you to roll up in her car running outside. That's
why the woman didn't say nothing, because she was scared.
You know how you look when you got cold on
your face and your hair roller set. Why would she
(13:19):
go out the house looking like that? Because the man
call Hunt told her she was down there, so to
beat him, she got to go down there as is.
And that's just how crazy she was looking. Cold Cream,
cold Cream got that that scar phone with the Glover's
main on it. It was around game time. She up
(13:39):
in here. Man got that scarf on the smell like
self eight. All right, look we gotta go, Steve, We'll
go ahead. Got this relationship is over? Yeah, that is
neither one of them already. H uh. Just get your
child support ready? Okay, eyes, we we gotta get out
(14:01):
of here, like I said. Email us or instagram us
your thoughts on today's Strawberry letter at Steve Harvey f M.
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show
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