July 22, 2024 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I've been married for three years and my husband had two sons when we got married. I'm cordial with the mom of his nine year old son. It's the mother of the two year old that I don't vibe with. Here's why my husband and I split up a month before our planned wedding date because we were arguing over wedding plans and money. He started sleeping on the couch and we ignored each other for weeks, so we postponed the wedding and he moved in with his cousin. During that time, he met a girl and was having sex with her without protection..........................................
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. If you
need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, please
submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARVIFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're gonna read this
one right here, right now, and you never know, it
could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
You never know, You never know. Buckle up and hold
on tight. We got it for you here. It is
Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
All right, thank you, nephew. Subject. If he's going, I'm
going to Dear Stephen Shirley. I've been married for three
years and my husband had two sons when we got married.
I'm cordial with the mom of his nine year old son.
It's the mother of the two year old that I
don't vibe with. Here's why my husband and I split
up a month before our planned wedding date because we
(00:46):
were arguing over wedding plans and money. He started sleeping
on the couch and we ignored each other for weeks,
so we postponed the wedding and he moved in with
his cousin. During that time, he met a girl and
was having sex with her without protection. She got pregnant quickly,
and now he has a son with a woman he
barely knows because I know her. I know her because
(01:10):
she used to do my braids, and she knew I
was engaged to this man. After all the drama over
her and the baby, my husband and I work things
out and we eloped. Things were pretty good between us
until last weekend when we announced. When he announced that
he's taking his sons to Disney World next month, I
assumed it was a family vacation, but he said his
(01:32):
two year old son's mom had planned the trip and
invited his nine year old to go. This man knows
I'm not with the BS, so I said, if he's going,
I'm going to. I am not sure how he thought
a trip without me would be okay. He said it's
best if I don't go because I would be mean
to his child's mom. The entire time, I just knew
(01:53):
he had to be joking, but he's serious. Since I
can't go on the trip, I told him that I'll
be gone from his life when he returns from Florida.
He said, I'm being unreasonable and not considering his son.
Is he considering his son or his son's mama. You
know he's thinking about his son's mama. This whole letter
right here is crazy. And how can anyone in their
(02:16):
right mind think this is okay, especially your husband. This
is not right, This is not nice, This is not cool.
What she's doing inviting the nine year old son to
Disney World. This is all a trap. Okay, she knows
exactly what she's doing. He had a baby on you
while you guys were fighting. You were just fighting over
money in the wedding date and all that. You weren't
(02:39):
even separated or divorced or anything. Wow, and now he's
going on a trip with the baby's mama without you.
There's definitely more to this story, because he's already accused
you of being mean to the baby mama. He didn't
question the fact that she knows he has a wife,
and she's trying to drag him down there anyway for
(03:00):
what's going to be a family vacation with her. This
is wrong. There's no way you should stay at home.
You got to go on this trip or no one's
going period, that's it. Or do like you said and
not be there when he comes back. You're not being unreasonable.
You are his family, not her. You should definitely go
because if you don't go, trust and believe they will
(03:21):
be working on baby number two. Okay, Tommy, all right,
I'm convinced what.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Everybody got something that you don't have. You need a baby.
You need a baby, because see that's why you can't go,
because you ain't got no baby. You got to get
you a baby. Okay, we got to get you a
baby in order for you to get the Disney You
need a baby, all right. I don't know if you
need If you can borrow a baby, you know, rental baby,
(03:55):
then they might have some called look up a google
rent a baby. You might be a rental baby uber
a baby. You need a baby, baby for a day.
Babies are us. We got to get you a baby.
That's the only way we're gonna get you into this
Disney Park. We got to get you.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Do.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Now, what I do want you to do, because I'm
very familiar with this. You want to stay at the
Animal Kingdom. Okay, I want you to know that that's
where you want to stay. You want to stay in
Animal king You want to make sure you ride Soaring.
You want to make sure you ride Avatar. You want
to make sure you ride all the roller coasts. And
you want to get you a guide. Okay, now we're
talking rich. Now you want to get you a guide.
So when you get you a guy, you can move
around all over the place and do whatever you want
(04:30):
to do. And you're gonna ride a rod the ride real,
real quick. You ain't gonna stand in line nowhere. When
you get you a gas pas, yes, fast, pan. But
we can't do none of that till we get you
a baby. We got to get a baby. Okay, you
ain't got time to get pregnant right now and get
that at Disney. That's not gonna work for you. You
got to get a baby now, so you need to
borrow a baby. Get you a baby, and get on this.
(04:53):
Get you get your own flight, get on down there
to Disney, and guess what. Now that you got your baby,
now you can move around and see exactly what's going on.
You can see who he's staying with, where they staying at,
who's staying in the room with them? You compass by
You already cool with the nine year olds. Mama, you
cool with her, so you lean on her, lean on her.
That's gonna be your ride or die. That's your pot
done right there. Okay, but hold on to what hold
(05:15):
on to your baby? Keep a baby with you because
that's gonna keep you in full because let make sure
that baby is old enough to play with either at
nine ye old or at two year old. You need
a baby right in there that's gonna be able to
kick it with the other ones. All right, don't bring
no baby at fifteen sixteen, you out of you in
our dated yourself. Stay in the middle. Or at two
and that nine. You want somebody that's gonna hold the
(05:36):
two and be able to play with the nine. You
need like a five or seven yo old. Yeah, you
need to borrow a five or seven year old baby.
There's plenty of people who can't get to Disney, who
can't afford Disney. They would definitely let you take their
baby to Disney. Okay, a five to a seven year old,
get you one of them. Are you trying to do
is borrow a baby for the weekend. That's all you're
trying to do. So you can get down there and
(05:57):
keep eye on your man personally. If my uncle was
he he'll be saying, why the hell is you chasing
this damn man? Hell is she doing that. Fuck, he
already messed up before the wed and you still with him.
What is you doing going to Disney? This is when
your ass need to be leaving. That's what the hell
you need to be doing. You need to be finding
a way for yourself to hell with him and them
(06:19):
women and them babies. That's what you need to do.
Go find yourself. When he come back, you need to
be gone. That's what you need to be doing.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Hello, all right, now you sound just like him.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
You can ask you can ask the Lord about me.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Yes, yes, all of that. I love it. Hello, all right,
we'll have part two of our responses to this Strawberry letter.
Carlo is gonna join us when we come back at
twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry letter subject
is if He's going I'm going to. We'll get back
into it right after this. You're listening Morning show. All right,
(06:54):
we're going to recap today's Strawberry letter. This is it's
called if He's Going I'm going to? A woman rode in.
She's been married for three years. Her husband had two
sons before they got married. She's cordial with one of
the sons, the nine year old but the mother of
this two year old baby, she does not vibe with
her at all, and she says, she tells us why
(07:15):
she breaks it down. She said she and her husband
split up about a month before they're planned wedding date
because they were arguing over the plans and the money.
They couldn't get it together, so they were just mad
walking around now speaking to each other. He started sleeping
on the couch. They ignored each other for weeks. They
postponed the wedding. He moved out of the house and
moved in with his cousin. So while he was over
(07:36):
there with his cousin, he met a woman and he
started having sex with her without protection. What stupid, stupid,
This is really dumb. Then the woman got pregnant very quickly,
she adds, And now, yeah, it only takes one time.
Now he's got a son with this woman, and he
(07:57):
barely even knows this woman. So the now wife knows
this woman because this woman that he had the baby
with used to do her braids and the hairstyle is
the braider knew who she was. She knew that the
man was engaged, but she slept with him and got
pregnant on him. Any way, all right, all right? So
(08:19):
then they finally worked through it. They work through all
the drama and the baby and the husband. She and
the husband worked it out and they eloped. So they
are married now, have been for three years. And she
said things were pretty good between them until last weekend
when the mother, the baby mama of the two year
old that she does not get along with. I hope
you're following me, decided to invite the nine year old
(08:42):
son and the daddy to Disney World. What you know,
the biggest question though, what what?
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Who doing her hair? No?
Speaker 1 (08:55):
I mean right there, kids, that's right, definitely not her anymore.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
But she probably.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
All that pat scratching you doing that. It's a lot
she don't you.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Some baby hare on her edd because she has none? Right,
that's a good question, tommy, you're right. So so the
wife says. The wife says. The husband knows he's not
with the BSh. He doesn't want the wife to go
to Disney World with them, because he says, the wife
will be treating the baby mama bad all the time.
(09:31):
She'll be mad at her all the time. Well, of course,
of course you planned a family trip with your This
isn't even your family. So anyway, she wants to know.
She told the husband, if he goes and she doesn't go,
she will be out of his life when he gets
back from Disney World. When he gets back from this trip.
He said that she's being unreasonable and not considering his son. Uh,
(09:54):
and she wants to know is he considering his son
or his son's mama? All right, here we go. All right, Carly,
we want you to chime in on this one too,
because I know you have some opinions. So she is
he considering the son or the son's mama? And is
she being unreasonable? Like the husband said.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
No, she's not being unreasonable. There's history with this girl.
You had a baby with this girl when they had
issues in their relationship, the husband and wife. So he
is putting this trip before his wife. So he needs
to recognize that you don't need this woman to take
your kids to Disney World. You can take your sons,
(10:35):
both of your sons. You can take them to Disney
World on your own, or if you can't budget, do
another trip, do something else. First of all, the boys
two years old, he's gonna remember half of it. Anyway.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
The youngest she was too. She doesn't remember, Yeah, you
wasted your money, right, yes, yeah, yeah, I mean we
took Tasha.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Tasha took her first steps at Disney side. Note the
place really is magic. I think is really running down
all but that was we were all there, we were
working for.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
But anyway, back to what I'm saying, Noo, he's foul.
You're not being unreasonable, he's being disrespectful, and he needs
to tell the baby mama, you know what you're doing.
You know what this is.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
This is my wife.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
I can't go on a trip with you and my
son and you're taking my other son. So now she
is dangling this trip, especially for the kids. He don't
want to hurt his kids feelings and upset them, especially
the nine year old. The nine year old is on board. Yes,
of course with this trip to Disney.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
No, she needs to stand firm, or as a kid say,
stand on business the wife and put her foot down
and let her husband know this is unacceptable and it's
no way. This girl the braid. That's the baby mama.
She knows that she was married. She knows that she
was married. She wouldn't want her husband's baby mama to
(12:05):
go on the trip with her kids and her husband,
and she not be included. She needs to really checked
and she can check the baby mama, she can't.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Why was just going to get out of this? You
done looked up? You the one that ain't got a baby.
Why don't we just walk away from this? Lea this
man alone. Find you a new man, and you a
new man and a new hairstylist. Lead, I like it.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Tell me like a new man.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
And a new hairstyle. And you're gonna need a new
hairstylist first in order to get a new man. But
you need you a new hairstylist and a new man.
Gone by your leaders man.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Anyway, he still I know we're joking about that. Go
find you a new man. But at the end of
the day, Tommy, your point is she needs to find
a new man if your husband does not have you
his wife as a priority.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Right, all right, thanks guys, respect period. Lead your comments
on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram's Steve Harvey FM, and
check us out on the Strawberry Letter podcast on the
Free iHeartRadio app where free never sounded so good. Coming
up next, Snoop Dogg and ty Reese are getting back together.
We'll tell you about it right after this. You're listening
to Steve Harvey Morning Show.
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. If you
need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, please
submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARVIFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're gonna read this
one right here, right now, and you never know, it
could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
You never know, You never know. Buckle up and hold
on tight. We got it for you here. It is
Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
All right, thank you, nephew. Subject. If he's going, I'm
going to Dear Stephen Shirley. I've been married for three
years and my husband had two sons when we got married.
I'm cordial with the mom of his nine year old son.
It's the mother of the two year old that I
don't vibe with. Here's why my husband and I split
up a month before our planned wedding date because we
(00:46):
were arguing over wedding plans and money. He started sleeping
on the couch and we ignored each other for weeks,
so we postponed the wedding and he moved in with
his cousin. During that time, he met a girl and
was having sex with her without protection. She got pregnant quickly,
and now he has a son with a woman he
barely knows because I know her. I know her because
(01:10):
she used to do my braids, and she knew I
was engaged to this man. After all the drama over
her and the baby, my husband and I work things
out and we eloped. Things were pretty good between us
until last weekend when we announced. When he announced that
he's taking his sons to Disney World next month, I
assumed it was a family vacation, but he said his
(01:32):
two year old son's mom had planned the trip and
invited his nine year old to go. This man knows
I'm not with the BS, so I said, if he's going,
I'm going to. I am not sure how he thought
a trip without me would be okay. He said it's
best if I don't go because I would be mean
to his child's mom. The entire time, I just knew
(01:53):
he had to be joking, but he's serious. Since I
can't go on the trip, I told him that I'll
be gone from his life when he returns from Florida.
He said, I'm being unreasonable and not considering his son.
Is he considering his son or his son's mama. You
know he's thinking about his son's mama. This whole letter
right here is crazy. And how can anyone in their
(02:16):
right mind think this is okay, especially your husband. This
is not right, This is not nice, This is not cool.
What she's doing inviting the nine year old son to
Disney World. This is all a trap. Okay, she knows
exactly what she's doing. He had a baby on you
while you guys were fighting. You were just fighting over
money in the wedding date and all that. You weren't
(02:39):
even separated or divorced or anything. Wow, and now he's
going on a trip with the baby's mama without you.
There's definitely more to this story, because he's already accused
you of being mean to the baby mama. He didn't
question the fact that she knows he has a wife,
and she's trying to drag him down there anyway for
(03:00):
what's going to be a family vacation with her. This
is wrong. There's no way you should stay at home.
You got to go on this trip or no one's
going period, that's it. Or do like you said and
not be there when he comes back. You're not being unreasonable.
You are his family, not her. You should definitely go
because if you don't go, trust and believe they will
(03:21):
be working on baby number two. Okay, Tommy, all right,
I'm convinced what.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Everybody got something that you don't have. You need a baby.
You need a baby, because see that's why you can't go,
because you ain't got no baby. You got to get
you a baby. Okay, we got to get you a
baby in order for you to get the Disney You
need a baby, all right. I don't know if you
need If you can borrow a baby, you know, rental baby,
(03:55):
then they might have some called look up a google
rent a baby. You might be a rental baby uber
a baby. You need a baby, baby for a day.
Babies are us. We got to get you a baby.
That's the only way we're gonna get you into this
Disney Park. We got to get you.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Do.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Now, what I do want you to do, because I'm
very familiar with this. You want to stay at the
Animal Kingdom. Okay, I want you to know that that's
where you want to stay. You want to stay in
Animal king You want to make sure you ride Soaring.
You want to make sure you ride Avatar. You want
to make sure you ride all the roller coasts. And
you want to get you a guide. Okay, now we're
talking rich. Now you want to get you a guide.
So when you get you a guy, you can move
around all over the place and do whatever you want
(04:30):
to do. And you're gonna ride a rod the ride real,
real quick. You ain't gonna stand in line nowhere. When
you get you a gas pas, yes, fast, pan. But
we can't do none of that till we get you
a baby. We got to get a baby. Okay, you
ain't got time to get pregnant right now and get
that at Disney. That's not gonna work for you. You
got to get a baby now, so you need to
borrow a baby. Get you a baby, and get on this.
(04:53):
Get you get your own flight, get on down there
to Disney, and guess what. Now that you got your baby,
now you can move around and see exactly what's going on.
You can see who he's staying with, where they staying at,
who's staying in the room with them? You compass by
You already cool with the nine year olds. Mama, you
cool with her, so you lean on her, lean on her.
That's gonna be your ride or die. That's your pot
done right there. Okay, but hold on to what hold
(05:15):
on to your baby? Keep a baby with you because
that's gonna keep you in full because let make sure
that baby is old enough to play with either at
nine ye old or at two year old. You need
a baby right in there that's gonna be able to
kick it with the other ones. All right, don't bring
no baby at fifteen sixteen, you out of you in
our dated yourself. Stay in the middle. Or at two
and that nine. You want somebody that's gonna hold the
(05:36):
two and be able to play with the nine. You
need like a five or seven yo old. Yeah, you
need to borrow a five or seven year old baby.
There's plenty of people who can't get to Disney, who
can't afford Disney. They would definitely let you take their
baby to Disney. Okay, a five to a seven year old,
get you one of them. Are you trying to do
is borrow a baby for the weekend. That's all you're
trying to do. So you can get down there and
(05:57):
keep eye on your man personally. If my uncle was
he he'll be saying, why the hell is you chasing
this damn man? Hell is she doing that. Fuck, he
already messed up before the wed and you still with him.
What is you doing going to Disney? This is when
your ass need to be leaving. That's what the hell
you need to be doing. You need to be finding
a way for yourself to hell with him and them
(06:19):
women and them babies. That's what you need to do.
Go find yourself. When he come back, you need to
be gone. That's what you need to be doing.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Hello, all right, now you sound just like him.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
You can ask you can ask the Lord about me.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Yes, yes, all of that. I love it. Hello, all right,
we'll have part two of our responses to this Strawberry letter.
Carlo is gonna join us when we come back at
twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry letter subject
is if He's going I'm going to. We'll get back
into it right after this. You're listening Morning show. All right,
(06:54):
we're going to recap today's Strawberry letter. This is it's
called if He's Going I'm going to? A woman rode in.
She's been married for three years. Her husband had two
sons before they got married. She's cordial with one of
the sons, the nine year old but the mother of
this two year old baby, she does not vibe with
her at all, and she says, she tells us why
(07:15):
she breaks it down. She said she and her husband
split up about a month before they're planned wedding date
because they were arguing over the plans and the money.
They couldn't get it together, so they were just mad
walking around now speaking to each other. He started sleeping
on the couch. They ignored each other for weeks. They
postponed the wedding. He moved out of the house and
moved in with his cousin. So while he was over
(07:36):
there with his cousin, he met a woman and he
started having sex with her without protection. What stupid, stupid,
This is really dumb. Then the woman got pregnant very quickly,
she adds, And now, yeah, it only takes one time.
Now he's got a son with this woman, and he
(07:57):
barely even knows this woman. So the now wife knows
this woman because this woman that he had the baby
with used to do her braids and the hairstyle is
the braider knew who she was. She knew that the
man was engaged, but she slept with him and got
pregnant on him. Any way, all right, all right? So
(08:19):
then they finally worked through it. They work through all
the drama and the baby and the husband. She and
the husband worked it out and they eloped. So they
are married now, have been for three years. And she
said things were pretty good between them until last weekend
when the mother, the baby mama of the two year
old that she does not get along with. I hope
you're following me, decided to invite the nine year old
(08:42):
son and the daddy to Disney World. What you know,
the biggest question though, what what?
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Who doing her hair? No?
Speaker 1 (08:55):
I mean right there, kids, that's right, definitely not her anymore.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
But she probably.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
All that pat scratching you doing that. It's a lot
she don't you.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Some baby hare on her edd because she has none? Right,
that's a good question, tommy, you're right. So so the
wife says. The wife says. The husband knows he's not
with the BSh. He doesn't want the wife to go
to Disney World with them, because he says, the wife
will be treating the baby mama bad all the time.
(09:31):
She'll be mad at her all the time. Well, of course,
of course you planned a family trip with your This
isn't even your family. So anyway, she wants to know.
She told the husband, if he goes and she doesn't go,
she will be out of his life when he gets
back from Disney World. When he gets back from this trip.
He said that she's being unreasonable and not considering his son. Uh,
(09:54):
and she wants to know is he considering his son
or his son's mama? All right, here we go. All right, Carly,
we want you to chime in on this one too,
because I know you have some opinions. So she is
he considering the son or the son's mama? And is
she being unreasonable? Like the husband said.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
No, she's not being unreasonable. There's history with this girl.
You had a baby with this girl when they had
issues in their relationship, the husband and wife. So he
is putting this trip before his wife. So he needs
to recognize that you don't need this woman to take
your kids to Disney World. You can take your sons,
(10:35):
both of your sons. You can take them to Disney
World on your own, or if you can't budget, do
another trip, do something else. First of all, the boys
two years old, he's gonna remember half of it. Anyway.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
The youngest she was too. She doesn't remember, Yeah, you
wasted your money, right, yes, yeah, yeah, I mean we
took Tasha.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Tasha took her first steps at Disney side. Note the
place really is magic. I think is really running down
all but that was we were all there, we were
working for.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
But anyway, back to what I'm saying, Noo, he's foul.
You're not being unreasonable, he's being disrespectful, and he needs
to tell the baby mama, you know what you're doing.
You know what this is.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
This is my wife.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
I can't go on a trip with you and my
son and you're taking my other son. So now she
is dangling this trip, especially for the kids. He don't
want to hurt his kids feelings and upset them, especially
the nine year old. The nine year old is on board. Yes,
of course with this trip to Disney.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
No, she needs to stand firm, or as a kid say,
stand on business the wife and put her foot down
and let her husband know this is unacceptable and it's
no way. This girl the braid. That's the baby mama.
She knows that she was married. She knows that she
was married. She wouldn't want her husband's baby mama to
(12:05):
go on the trip with her kids and her husband,
and she not be included. She needs to really checked
and she can check the baby mama, she can't.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Why was just going to get out of this? You
done looked up? You the one that ain't got a baby.
Why don't we just walk away from this? Lea this
man alone. Find you a new man, and you a
new man and a new hairstylist. Lead, I like it.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Tell me like a new man.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
And a new hairstyle. And you're gonna need a new
hairstylist first in order to get a new man. But
you need you a new hairstylist and a new man.
Gone by your leaders man.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Anyway, he still I know we're joking about that. Go
find you a new man. But at the end of
the day, Tommy, your point is she needs to find
a new man if your husband does not have you
his wife as a priority.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Right, all right, thanks guys, respect period. Lead your comments
on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram's Steve Harvey FM, and
check us out on the Strawberry Letter podcast on the
Free iHeartRadio app where free never sounded so good. Coming
up next, Snoop Dogg and ty Reese are getting back together.
We'll tell you about it right after this. You're listening
to Steve Harvey Morning Show.
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