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April 5, 2022 13 mins

Dear Steve and Shirley, I’m a 31 year old licensed cosmetologist, nail technician and esthetician. I have a hair salon, I do eyebrows, nails and I do Botox injections. My salon is upscale and I have the upper echelon clients in my city. I am recently divorced and I have to pay my ex-husband spousal support because the judge thought that my ex-husband helped me build my business while we were married............................

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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need
advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please
submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air FOP, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now. It could be yours.

(00:21):
You never know, you never know. Buckle up and hold
on tight. We got it for you. Here it Strawberry Letter,
Thank you f you. Subject is my man a gold digger.
Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a thirty one year old licensed cosmetologist,
nail technician, and esthetician. I have a hair salon. I
do eyebrows, nails, and I do botox injections. My salon

(00:44):
is upscale and I have the upper echelon clients in
my city. I am recently divorced and I have to
pay my ex husband's files with support because the judge
thought that my ex husband helped me build my business
while we were married. That couldn't be further from the truth.
He tore me down and mismanaged money all the time.
I used insurance money that I got from my father's

(01:07):
death and it was a nice settlement, so now I
am financially set. Because of that, I bought a nice
house and two cars. All that's missing from my life
now is a man and the family that I want
to have one day soon. I have been casually dating
this guy for a few weeks and he seems to
be a fast talker. When I met him, he said

(01:27):
he was about to buy a home and he was
living in an apartment temporarily. He said that he's always
traveling and he loves the finer things in life. I
noticed he had a rolex on when we met, so
I thought he might be telling the truth. He drives
a pickup truck that's very nice, but it's older. When
we got out. When we go out, he wants me

(01:48):
to drive so we can ride with the top down
in my car. The other day, he wanted to go
to a Dacari bar where he knew all of his
friends would be outside when he pulled up. When we
pulled up with top down, he went in stunting like
we were the hot new couple, and I went along
with it. He told his friend that I have everything
a man could want, and I have my own money.

(02:12):
I also overheard him saying that he's going to go
to Hawaii with me in June, which we never discussed.
Is he trying to insert himself in my life and
my trip? Is this man a gold digger? All right? Well,
it's understandable that you might be a little concerned after
you went through what you went through with your husband,
who you said mismanaged money. So now this new guy

(02:37):
who knows he might be a gold digger. He might not.
But the only way to find out for sure is
to get to know him. I mean, I think him
always wanting to drive your car and show it off
to his friends, it's a bit suspicious. But more than that,
you didn't mention any of these things. Does he ever
pull out his wallet? Does he pay for stuff? Does

(02:57):
he pay for anything? I mean, you didn't say any
anything about that. That's what you need to look out for.
Does he work? You didn't say anything about him having
a job, none of that. All you said was he
had on a rolex when we met, so you thought
he might be telling the truth. Otherwise you said he
was a fast talker. So I say, if you feel

(03:18):
something isn't quite right, and you do, because that's why
you wrote us trust your instincts, because you don't. You
don't really know this guy. I mean, you know, you
can ask him some questions, ask him questions. What's wrong
with that conversation getting to know someone? You say you're
only casually dating him, whatever that means. So if you're

(03:40):
only casually dating him, does it matter if he's a
gold digger? Or you want to take this further and
you want to know now if he's a gold digger
before you take it any further. Either way, you got
to get to know this guy. If you're planning on
something more serious with him, take your time, you guys,
go out more times, get to know the guy, and
then you can make a fair assessment on whether he's
a gold digger. Know more about him than just that

(04:02):
he's wearing a Rolex Steve. Oh, this is right up
my alley. Oh God, especially things likeness. I'm gonna be
so helpful to this young sister. It's gonna be unbelievable.
I'm going to be so helpful to you. First of all,
you got a lot going on, young lady. Cosmetologists, nail tech, estetician,

(04:26):
hair salon, You do eyebrows, nails, do botox, injects. Your
scale is upscale, your salon is upscale. You got up
echelon clients in the city. Now, you divorced. Now and
you had to pay your ex husband's spousal support because
it judge thought your ex husband help you build your
business while we've married. That couldn't be further from the truth,
because he tore you down. Recently, your father passed. You

(04:49):
got a nice settlement, so you're financially set. You bought
a nice house, two cars, and all this missing from
my life is a man. Well, here we go. That
and a family that you want to have one day soon.
So you have no kids. You've been casually dating this
guy for a few weeks and he seems to be
a fast talker. Now, women, you all specialize in communication.

(05:15):
That's one of your strong suits and attributes. If you
meet a man that seems to be a fast talker,
if anybody knows that he would be you. So we're
talking about this fast talker. And when you say fast talker,
I'm assuming you saying it has a little slick element
to it. See, fast talkers are usually what I found

(05:39):
in my experience all my boys. That's fast talkers and
everybody I know that's a fast talker has a little
slick element to it, something trick about it. While you're
talking so damn fast, because fast talkers talk so you
can't talk. See. Fast talkers don't like spaces and pauses
in their conversation because that leaves rooms for questioning, and

(06:04):
fast talkers like to just put out their narrative. They're
not interested in what you think of. So that's a
red light. When I met him, he said he's about
to buy a home and he was living in an
apartment temporality. That's a cool move right here. But what
you mean you're about to buy a home? You're about
to buy? When you're about to buy it? Where where

(06:27):
you've been looking? Let me see some of the places
you've explored. I got so much more to say to you, lad.
I'm fin to help you when I come back, young lady.
Uncle Steve to the rescue. All right, Steve, we'll have
part two of your response coming up at twenty three
minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry letter subject is my

(06:48):
man a gold digger. We'll come back with part two
right after this. You're listening to show, all right, Come on, Steve,
let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject is is my
man a gold digger? Yeah? You know, this lady's doing
really well. She's thirty one, she has no children, she's

(07:08):
recently divorced. She plays spousal support. She has a beautiful salon,
hire echelon, upscale clients and things like that. She does
all the services. She started dating this guy. She has
herself together all she wants as a man and a family.
You've been casually dating this guy for a few weeks
and he seems to be a fast talking I said before,

(07:30):
people who are fast talkers usually we call them fast
talkers because they seem to have a little slick element
about themselves. All the fast talkers I know have slick
elements about themselves, all of them. Never met one who didn't.
So I think you're on point and women being communications specialists,
if you think a person is a fast talking then

(07:52):
it is not. The reason people of me and are
fast talkers is because we don't leave. We don't like
gaps and pauses and paragraphs. And I was talking because
don't want you to control the narrative. We want to
control the narrative and reduces the amount of questions. You've
got to gather yourself, as Shirley said, and you got
to start asking the hard questions now. When you met him,

(08:12):
he said he's about to buy a home and he
was living in an apartment temporality. That's a natural transition.
They ain't nothing wrong with that. But what you mean
he's about to buy what real estate? Let him show
the houses he'd been looking at, the areas he trying
to move to this How you can find out about
money without asking about money? He says he's always traveling
and he loves to finder things in life. That's easy.

(08:35):
Who don't? Who don't? What has he said? That's so enriching.
I like to finder things in life. Who don't. But
now let's look at him real close. After the statement
I love the finder things in life. I noticed he
had a Rolex on when we met, so I thought
he might be telling the truth. Don't let that watch

(08:56):
throw you. Do not let that rolex throw you. Tweetie girl,
you can get the girl. Pawn Shop's got rolexs. You
can go downtown New York Canal Street and rolex yourself out.
Look look just like it. Don't let that throw you.

(09:19):
But I do want to point this out to you.
You said he had a Rolex on so he thought.
He drives a pickup truck. That's very nice, but it's older.
Excuse me, He just said he liked the finer things
in life. What's up with the old ass pickup truck.
I'm telling you right now that ain't how men are.

(09:42):
Man the moment we got some money, you finding no
about it, because what's the purpose of having it? That's
how we look good to the what we're trying to trap,
which is female man boy. Please, So if you like
to find the things in life, he drives a pickup truck.

(10:04):
It's very nice, but it's older. Okay. When we go out,
he wants me to drive so he can ride with
the top down in my car. Oh, he liked flex it.
He just told you he liked to find the things
and like and you got he wants to drive with
the top down. The other day, he wanted to go
to a dacery bar where he knew all his friends
would be outside. When he pulled up with the top down,

(10:26):
he went in stunting like we the hot new couple,
and I went along with it. He told his friends
that I have everything a man could want, and I
have my own money. This is not the conversation you
want to overheim. We are looking for the chick of
our dreams, and it don't mean you have everything. I

(10:47):
can tell you that for a fast don't get sprung called.
Listen to what he's saying. Missing the fast talker. He
wanted to pull up in the dacry bar in your
car with the top down and walk in like y'all
the hot new couples fast talking. Now he'd win in
there and talking to y'all like he just everything. Now,
you didn't heard him tell his friends he got everything

(11:07):
a man come won't got your own money. Then you
overheard him saying he's going to Hawaii with me in June,
which we never discussed in June. He didn't see he'd
wrote himself into the script. He in the movie already starring.
Do he have Hawaii trip money? Now you can easily
figure this out because you overheard him say that. He

(11:27):
didn't say nothing to you because he fast talking with
his friends. Now, I don't know if he told you
to throw his friends. He gonna pay for the trip
or you're gonna pay for the trip? Is he trying
to insert himself in my life and my trip. I
just told you he didn't put himself in the movie
he's starring in it. Is this man a gold dicker? Well,

(11:48):
the answer to that question is yes, because everything he
does points to that he won't to ride in your car.
He telling he talking about you got your own money.
He drive a old ass pickup truble. I don't give
a damn how nice it is. Men and men always
watch their cars. Don't. Don't be fooled by that. And
you need to find out why he driving an old

(12:10):
pickup trub. You need to find out about that rolex.
And you need to look. Let me give you some
things to Look at his shoes. Look at his shoes.
If he if he is sneakerhead, that ain't gonna help
because sneakers a sixty nine dollars hundred and forty, you
ain't fnna learn nothing. Look at his clothes. Men who

(12:31):
got money wear clothes. Secondly, look at his friends. You
associate with people who you can participate with. If your
friends is high scaled, it's because you could do high
scale friends. If all your friends is regulars, because you
got regular ass money. And then you need to look
at where he lived and what's in that house. If

(12:52):
all that house got our key of furniture in it,
which ain't nothing wrong with it, But he not fling
about no house. All right, all right, Steve, thank you.
Coming up next, it is Junior and Sports Talk at
forty six minutes after the hour. Right after this, you're
listening to this Dave Harvey Morning Show
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