October 12, 2017 • 7 mins
Steve and Shirley I'm a 37 year old divorced mother of four 17:14 10 and seven. I'm currently dating a man who is 42 divorced and has no kids. He treats me very nice. We've been dating about seven months. He's been there for me emotionally as well as financially.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Buggle up, Buggle up, Buggle up, Hold on tight. We
got it for you here. It is just straw. Every
letter subject is it another woman, slash, my kids, slash
or me. Stephen Shirley, I am a thirty seven year
old divorced mother of four seventeen, fourteen, ten, and seven.
I am currently dating a man who is forty two,
(00:21):
divorced and has no kids. He treats me very nice.
We've been dating about seven months. He's been there for
me emotionally as well as financially. I was floating on
cloud nine until a month ago. He moved in with
me and my kids and everything was still fine, or
at least I thought he would pay bills. Sex was great,
(00:42):
and we communicated very well together, and I began to
notice he never bothered to interact with my kids in
any way. When I brought this to his attention, he
said he didn't feel he had to do anything with
them since they have their father in their life. I
told him I didn't understand how he thought he could
live with a woman and her kids and not have
(01:02):
some type of interaction with them. The conversation quickly turned
into an argument. This was the first time we had
had an argument, so I didn't know what to expect.
He left the house and stayed gone all day. When
he returned, he didn't finish the discussion, and he went
on as though it never happened. A few weeks later,
I thought everything was fine and things were back to
normal when he woke up one Monday morning and told
(01:24):
me he had an appointment to look for an apartment.
When he returned, he told me he signed a lease
and that he would be moving out that Friday, four
days later. I couldn't believe it. I asked him why
was he leaving. He said he thought about the argument,
dealing with the kids, and that he wasn't ready for
his family for this family stuff. Again. He told me
he loves me, still wants to have a relationship with me,
(01:45):
but that he just doesn't want to live with me
and my kids. He wouldn't comment on how impressed he
was with how well mannered they were. He would come
in on that. So what's the problem. Their father gets
them faithfully every other weekend, pay his child support for
free time and money is not an issue. Is he
using my kids as a cop out to break up
with me to be with someone else? I just don't
understand how someone's feelings can just change at the drop
(02:08):
of a dime like that. I'm so confused. I don't
know what to believe or think. I thought forty two
the games would be over. Steve, Please tell me is
this a game or not? Twelve minutes after the hour,
we'll be back. Here we go, Part two, Strawberry Letters.
Steve's response, Right now, let's go. Well, you know this
letter right here? Really, ladies, please listen to me carefully
(02:33):
on this or right here. You got to know what
you're getting into. Your thirty seven, got four kids. You're
dating a man this forty to divorce, has no kids.
How do you get to be a forty two, you
old man without no kids? See what bing ding ding
(02:53):
ding ding ding? Don't know? Flags go off? Forty too?
No kids? Who is this dude? What he's been doing now?
All of a sudden, here in the situation with a
woman that's got folk kids, all of them under age,
all of them got to go to college, all of
them need const attention and time. You didn't pick the
(03:16):
man that you've been seeing for only seven months, and
y'all haven't moved in together. Seven months is too soon
to move in, not on you, but on them kids.
You've been knowing the man seven months. Now all of
a sudden he goes, y'all new daddy, and then you
expect him to be their daddy. Well he ain't they daddy.
(03:36):
And guess what, he ain't acting like hed daddy because
you in the seven months of having getting okay, now
here to deal. He pays the bills and the sexiest
great now right there, I would say, hanging there. Just
initially I would say getting your bills paid, And you're
(03:56):
getting your bills really paid. So now I'm saying and you, oh,
there was problem, But here go the problem though you're
thinking to do with no kids. He don't even know
how to be a father. Maybe his relationship with his
father wasn't that good. Well maybe he never had a
relationship father. He may not even know how to be
a father, which is what really the letter sounds like
to me. You don't pick the man with no intention, knowledge,
(04:19):
background on being a father at all. So now he
hadn't told you he don't think he got to interact
with your kids because they fathers in their life. You
moved the man in on your kids after knowing the
man only seven months. Your kids don't hardly know the
dude at all, not at all. I'm pretty sure you
(04:40):
didn't check with them. Now, the reason he ain't interacting
with the kids, let's get into that been in this situation.
Let's talk about what it might be the problem. Maybe
the kids and said the famous Lyne to him, you
ain't my daddy, Okay, go slow, you roll down once
you hear that. Or maybe the dude come over to
pick the kids up me to do. Let's say, I
(05:01):
don't say nothing to my damn kids. I'm the father.
I don't know what you're over here doing with her,
but the kids don't need you. O'm the father. He
could have had that conversation. So you don't know where
it's been. Because for this dude to get in an argument,
getting the gold, take an appointment, get an apartment, come
back and tell you. But this was after guess what, though,
this is really a dude. You don't know, lady, he
(05:22):
told me and his his A few weeks later. I
thought everything was fine and things were back to normal. Yeah,
but things were back to normal to what y'all still
screwing and he ain't talking to the kids. Is that
what you called back to normal? He got back to
normal then he showed up with at least from an apartment.
Tell you he moving out Friday. Isn't another woman, No,
(05:45):
it ain't nothing more. Is you and them kids? Is
you and them kids that you didn't clear before y'all
got it together. Listen to me. You're sitting up in
here with a man you don't know. Now you know
the man. Now you want to know why the man
is this white? A man is dead, lady, you're just
(06:05):
not knowing the man yourself. You jumped in too fast.
The sex was way too good, and you started getting
you a little chips helping to pay the bill. That's
all this. He is right here. You jumped in too
fast because it's seven months. The kid conversation never came up.
You didn't notice that he wasn't interacting with the kids
(06:27):
when y'all was dating. Now you figure you're just gonna
herod mood his man in so you can get another man. Well,
you got a man, but the kids ain't got no daddy.
Thank you, Steve. You know we have to get out
of here. You can email or instagram us your thoughts
on today's Strawberry Letter, and I know I tell you right,
my girl, Shirley, Uh tomorrow, don't forget. At one thirty pm,
(06:49):
Facebook Live is back. The Strawberry Letter Live After Show
is back one thirty pm Eastern Time. Hopefully I'll see
you guys all there and we'll talk about today's letter,
have my fresh strawberry pick of the weekend, or trending topics.
Buggle up, Buggle up, Buggle up, Hold on tight. We
got it for you here. It is just straw. Every
letter subject is it another woman, slash, my kids, slash
or me. Stephen Shirley, I am a thirty seven year
old divorced mother of four seventeen, fourteen, ten, and seven.
I am currently dating a man who is forty two,
(00:21):
divorced and has no kids. He treats me very nice.
We've been dating about seven months. He's been there for
me emotionally as well as financially. I was floating on
cloud nine until a month ago. He moved in with
me and my kids and everything was still fine, or
at least I thought he would pay bills. Sex was great,
(00:42):
and we communicated very well together, and I began to
notice he never bothered to interact with my kids in
any way. When I brought this to his attention, he
said he didn't feel he had to do anything with
them since they have their father in their life. I
told him I didn't understand how he thought he could
live with a woman and her kids and not have
(01:02):
some type of interaction with them. The conversation quickly turned
into an argument. This was the first time we had
had an argument, so I didn't know what to expect.
He left the house and stayed gone all day. When
he returned, he didn't finish the discussion, and he went
on as though it never happened. A few weeks later,
I thought everything was fine and things were back to
normal when he woke up one Monday morning and told
(01:24):
me he had an appointment to look for an apartment.
When he returned, he told me he signed a lease
and that he would be moving out that Friday, four
days later. I couldn't believe it. I asked him why
was he leaving. He said he thought about the argument,
dealing with the kids, and that he wasn't ready for
his family for this family stuff. Again. He told me
he loves me, still wants to have a relationship with me,
(01:45):
but that he just doesn't want to live with me
and my kids. He wouldn't comment on how impressed he
was with how well mannered they were. He would come
in on that. So what's the problem. Their father gets
them faithfully every other weekend, pay his child support for
free time and money is not an issue. Is he
using my kids as a cop out to break up
with me to be with someone else? I just don't
understand how someone's feelings can just change at the drop
(02:08):
of a dime like that. I'm so confused. I don't
know what to believe or think. I thought forty two
the games would be over. Steve, Please tell me is
this a game or not? Twelve minutes after the hour,
we'll be back. Here we go, Part two, Strawberry Letters.
Steve's response, Right now, let's go. Well, you know this
letter right here? Really, ladies, please listen to me carefully
(02:33):
on this or right here. You got to know what
you're getting into. Your thirty seven, got four kids. You're
dating a man this forty to divorce, has no kids.
How do you get to be a forty two, you
old man without no kids? See what bing ding ding
(02:53):
ding ding ding? Don't know? Flags go off? Forty too?
No kids? Who is this dude? What he's been doing now?
All of a sudden, here in the situation with a
woman that's got folk kids, all of them under age,
all of them got to go to college, all of
them need const attention and time. You didn't pick the
(03:16):
man that you've been seeing for only seven months, and
y'all haven't moved in together. Seven months is too soon
to move in, not on you, but on them kids.
You've been knowing the man seven months. Now all of
a sudden he goes, y'all new daddy, and then you
expect him to be their daddy. Well he ain't they daddy.
(03:36):
And guess what, he ain't acting like hed daddy because
you in the seven months of having getting okay, now
here to deal. He pays the bills and the sexiest
great now right there, I would say, hanging there. Just
initially I would say getting your bills paid, And you're
(03:56):
getting your bills really paid. So now I'm saying and you, oh,
there was problem, But here go the problem though you're
thinking to do with no kids. He don't even know
how to be a father. Maybe his relationship with his
father wasn't that good. Well maybe he never had a
relationship father. He may not even know how to be
a father, which is what really the letter sounds like
to me. You don't pick the man with no intention, knowledge,
(04:19):
background on being a father at all. So now he
hadn't told you he don't think he got to interact
with your kids because they fathers in their life. You
moved the man in on your kids after knowing the
man only seven months. Your kids don't hardly know the
dude at all, not at all. I'm pretty sure you
(04:40):
didn't check with them. Now, the reason he ain't interacting
with the kids, let's get into that been in this situation.
Let's talk about what it might be the problem. Maybe
the kids and said the famous Lyne to him, you
ain't my daddy, Okay, go slow, you roll down once
you hear that. Or maybe the dude come over to
pick the kids up me to do. Let's say, I
(05:01):
don't say nothing to my damn kids. I'm the father.
I don't know what you're over here doing with her,
but the kids don't need you. O'm the father. He
could have had that conversation. So you don't know where
it's been. Because for this dude to get in an argument,
getting the gold, take an appointment, get an apartment, come
back and tell you. But this was after guess what, though,
this is really a dude. You don't know, lady, he
(05:22):
told me and his his A few weeks later. I
thought everything was fine and things were back to normal. Yeah,
but things were back to normal to what y'all still
screwing and he ain't talking to the kids. Is that
what you called back to normal? He got back to
normal then he showed up with at least from an apartment.
Tell you he moving out Friday. Isn't another woman, No,
(05:45):
it ain't nothing more. Is you and them kids? Is
you and them kids that you didn't clear before y'all
got it together. Listen to me. You're sitting up in
here with a man you don't know. Now you know
the man. Now you want to know why the man
is this white? A man is dead, lady, you're just
(06:05):
not knowing the man yourself. You jumped in too fast.
The sex was way too good, and you started getting
you a little chips helping to pay the bill. That's
all this. He is right here. You jumped in too
fast because it's seven months. The kid conversation never came up.
You didn't notice that he wasn't interacting with the kids
(06:27):
when y'all was dating. Now you figure you're just gonna
herod mood his man in so you can get another man. Well,
you got a man, but the kids ain't got no daddy.
Thank you, Steve. You know we have to get out
of here. You can email or instagram us your thoughts
on today's Strawberry Letter, and I know I tell you right,
my girl, Shirley, Uh tomorrow, don't forget. At one thirty pm,
(06:49):
Facebook Live is back. The Strawberry Letter Live After Show
is back one thirty pm Eastern Time. Hopefully I'll see
you guys all there and we'll talk about today's letter,
have my fresh strawberry pick of the weekend, or trending topics.
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