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March 18, 2024 13 mins

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEVARVFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're going to read
this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
Thank you, nep you. Subject Should I keep competing for
a spot? Dear Stephen Shirley. I moved to a new
city and I met a man at my apartment complex.
He doesn't live there, his sister does. He asked me
to go out, and our first date was so good
that he wanted to show me around town. We became inseparable,
but we haven't had sex or put a title on

(00:45):
our relationship. It's been three months and I'm sexually attracted
to him, so I asked if.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
We were dating.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
He said that I'm new in town and when I
got here, he had some loose ends he needed to
tie up. He said he is a couple of girls
that he enjoys hanging out with but right now I
have all of his attention. I pumped the brakes and
stopped thinking about wanting to sleep with him. I didn't
want to hang out with him anymore, but I had
to keep an open mind. I also appreciated his honesty.

(01:14):
He continued to casually. I continually casually dated him. A
week ago, he spent the night at my place for
the first time. We did a lot of kissing and cuddling,
and when things got heated, I pulled back. I told
him that I'm protecting myself from getting my heart broken.
That was the wrong thing to say, because he's been
acting weird since then. He probably thinks I'm falling in

(01:37):
love with him. I'm in no way in love with him,
but I do love hanging out with him. Now he
is acting weird and we barely go out. Does it
mean that he doesn't have good intentions for our relationship?
Is he putting all this time in just to have
sex with me? Am I better off leaving this man alone?
Or should I keep on competing for a spot?

Speaker 2 (01:58):
Well?

Speaker 1 (01:59):
No, you definitely don't have to do that, And I say,
just please go on with your business. Go on about
your business. Leave this man alone. You don't have to
wait while he ties up his so called loose ends
and all that he said out of his mouth. You
have all of his attention right now. He's not trying
to claim you or put on put any type of

(02:19):
label on your relationship. He did tell you he was honest,
that he's dating other people, which gives you the option
of whether you want to keep dating him or not.
I'm glad you pulled back. You told him you didn't
want to get your heart broken, and you didn't sleep
with him. Then he started acting weird as you say,
so what I mean? You see how he's acting now.

(02:40):
So if you're not in love with him, don't worry
about him. Like you said, Like he said, you are
new in town, so what does that mean? That means
keep your options open. He's not the only man in
the town. No one has time to play his little games, Steve, Wow, Okay,
or to show.

Speaker 3 (02:57):
All of you how women he yeah what they wanted
to hear without listening to what a man says. Okay, Now,
surely you're not wrong in what you said, but you
accused him of saying something he saying, and this is
where we probably fell off track, I'd have moved to
a new city. I met a man at my apartment complex.

(03:19):
He don't live there, but his sister du Wene. Went
out on our first date and it was so good
he wanted to show me around town. Okay, you went
out on your first date. Was so good that he
wanted to show you around town. What do that mean exactly?
The date was so good he wanted to show you
around town. Okay, we became inseparable, but we haven't had

(03:42):
sex or put a title on our relationship. It's been
three months now I'm sexually attracted to him.

Speaker 2 (03:49):
Now here we go. So I asked him if we
were dating.

Speaker 3 (03:52):
He said that I'm new in town and when I
got there, he had some loose ends he needed to
tie up. Now what that means is you came into
town new but already had.

Speaker 2 (04:05):
Some action going. I think we all agree with that.
Then he said he had a couple of girls that
he enjoys.

Speaker 3 (04:14):
Hanging out with. Now that means he's sleeping with a
couple of women. That's the true he telling you about. Then,
she said, but right now I have all of his attention.
What you said, Shirley, was he told you that you
have all of his attention. That is not what he said.

(04:37):
She assumed that she has all of his attention. See,
she said, I have all his attention.

Speaker 1 (04:48):
He said, said he has a couple of girls that
he enjoys hanging out with, but right now I have
all of his attention.

Speaker 2 (04:59):
He said, say that.

Speaker 3 (05:01):
What did he say?

Speaker 2 (05:02):
He said it? Okay, no, no, no, listen to me.

Speaker 3 (05:05):
If he got a couple of girls he enjoyed hanging
out with, how your hell you got all his attention.
He just told you he got a couple of girls
he hang out with, but right now I have all
his attention. See it don't make no sense, ladies. I'm
just as a part I want women to get to it.

(05:26):
Don't make no sense. It has to match up what
a man says and what a man does.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
He told you a word.

Speaker 3 (05:35):
Come on, I'm just trying, ladies, I'm just trying to
help you. No, no, no, but stop hearing the wrong stuff.
Pay attention. It's a couple of girls that I'm hanging
out with. That means I'm having sex with him.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
Yes, we get it.

Speaker 3 (05:51):
Uh huh, Now I suppose, he said, but right now
you have all my attention.

Speaker 2 (05:59):
But Shirley, listen to me.

Speaker 3 (06:01):
Yeah, what how does that make sense?

Speaker 2 (06:05):
Go ahead, se I'm trying to no. No.

Speaker 3 (06:08):
What I'm telling women is don't go running all down
the street with one line without listening to the whole story,
because you done took that. Let's say he did say.
Let's let's give Shirley's story to benefit of doubt. He said,
but you have all my attention right now.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
But he just told you he's sleeping with two other chicks.

Speaker 3 (06:29):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 4 (06:30):
And y'all ain't having sex. Wait, y'all done, y'all? Hold on,
hold on, we have part two. We gotta get to
uh take a break right here. All right, we'll have
part two of your response Steve coming up at twenty
three minutes after the hour.

Speaker 1 (06:45):
Today's Strawberry letter? Subject, should I keep competing for a spot?
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening
morning show, All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's
strawberry letter. The subject is, should I keep competing for
a spot?

Speaker 3 (07:01):
I don't want to get nobody off to the road, surely,
And I just have a small slight variation in the
interpretation of this letter.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
That's all it is.

Speaker 3 (07:11):
It's a misunderstanding, but it's also a misunderstanding that most
women have when it comes to men, And I just
wanted to point this out to you. She met this
guy in the complex she moved into, but he don't
live that, but he over that dating his sister. They
went out, they had a good time, so now he's
showing her around town. They've been dating for three months now.
They haven't had any sex, but she's sexually attracted to him.

(07:34):
So then she asked him if we were dating. The
man said, I'm new in town. You telling the girl
you knew in town that when you got here, I
had some loose ends I needed to tie up.

Speaker 2 (07:47):
He didn't say he was tied up, no loose ends.

Speaker 3 (07:50):
He just said he had some loose ends he needed
to tie But he didn't tell that he was tying
nothing up. He says he has a couple of girls
that he enjoys hanging out with. What the hell does
that mean? It's two women he's sleeping with. Yes, but
right now I have all his attention now, Sureley said,
that's what he told him. I'm saying that because they've

(08:13):
been hanging out there inseparable. She's assuming she has all
of his intentions. But he told her, it's two women
that I'm hanging out. Now, what the hell you think
they at? I bet you they don't even know about
the new girl in town. I bet you they don't
even think they are inseparable because he balancing these two women.

Speaker 2 (08:32):
He's still sleeping with them.

Speaker 3 (08:34):
She assuming she has all of his attention, but he
told her, I'm sleeping with two other women.

Speaker 1 (08:42):
I don't understand where our disagreement is though.

Speaker 2 (08:45):
It's like, I agree.

Speaker 1 (08:47):
He said that she has all of his attention, right,
but he's not claiming her or anything like that because
he has these other two women.

Speaker 2 (08:55):
You don't see that.

Speaker 3 (08:57):
I don't see what anybody have your full attention and
he got two other women.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
That's right, That's just what he told her.

Speaker 1 (09:07):
She wasn't buying it.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
I don't believe she bought it at all.

Speaker 3 (09:11):
So I pumped the brakes and stopped thinking about wanting.

Speaker 2 (09:15):
To sleep with him. That's a lie.

Speaker 3 (09:18):
I didn't want to hang out with him anymore, but
I had to keep an open mind.

Speaker 2 (09:23):
What lady, what are you talking about?

Speaker 3 (09:26):
I didn't want to see him anymore, but I had
to keep an open mind, oh mind to what you
just said. You stopped, stopped thinking about it. That's how
I know you lying.

Speaker 2 (09:38):
I also appreciated his honesty.

Speaker 3 (09:40):
Oh wow, that's good. So if I tell you I'm
sleeping with some more people, do you appreciate that?

Speaker 2 (09:45):
Okay? Cool?

Speaker 1 (09:46):
Yeah, honestly, yes, we tell you that all the time.

Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yeah okay. And then he told you that what you want?
What what you win for that? What? What ribbon you
get for that? Truth?

Speaker 1 (09:59):
But she gets the option to make up her own
money to choose.

Speaker 3 (10:02):
No, no, no, surely I'm fit to show you something.
It's the trap. Man, God, y'all, man, y'all, I continue
to casually date he here we go. All he did
was throw it out there to see how you would react.
You said you stopped thinking about him sexually. But guess
what you continue, you continued, because he threw out there

(10:25):
the bait and you bit. Now we right back where
we started from a week ago, when he spent the
night in my place for the first time. How how
he get in your bed?

Speaker 2 (10:35):
Now?

Speaker 1 (10:36):
Well, she said she was sexually attracted to him.

Speaker 2 (10:39):
No, no, no, What she said was.

Speaker 3 (10:42):
I'm pumped the brakes and stopped thinking about wanting to
sleep with him, and I ain't want to hang out
with him anymore.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
That's what she said, But.

Speaker 1 (10:51):
She also says she was sexually attracted to him.

Speaker 3 (10:54):
Quit hearing what you want to hear running down the
street with that information because you want to have a
relationship now. Ay, we did a lot of kissing in
the coveling and then things got heated.

Speaker 2 (11:05):
What the hell you think was gonna happen?

Speaker 3 (11:08):
I pulled back and I told him I'm protecting myself
from getting my heart broken. That was the wrong thing
to say, because he's been acting weird since then. He
probably thinks I'm falling in love with him. No, he don't, No,
he don't. What he probably think is he done wasted
his damn time and you ain't gonna have sex with him.

Speaker 2 (11:28):
That's what he probably right there.

Speaker 3 (11:33):
Well, then he probably thinks I'm falling in love and
I'm in no way in love with him, but I
do love hanging out with him. Hey, stop saying love.
Starting to be stupid, stud? No, but stop saying love. God,
he is now acting weird and we badly go out.

(11:55):
Does it mean that he don't have good intentions for
our relationship?

Speaker 2 (11:59):
Is he putting all this time in to have sex
with me?

Speaker 3 (12:02):
Yes, yes, yes, that's why, that's why we put time.

Speaker 2 (12:06):
In to have sex, working hard at it.

Speaker 3 (12:12):
Am I better off leaving this man alone? And should
I keep competing for a spot? You already competed for
the spot when you let him have a space in
your bed and you're trying to get something from the
man that he not find to give to you.

Speaker 2 (12:27):
You're fin to be number.

Speaker 3 (12:29):
Three because now her only question is should I keep
competing for a spot?

Speaker 2 (12:36):
Because his mind.

Speaker 1 (12:39):
Leading the comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on instagramm Quinn
chuck us out on the Strawberry Letter Podcast Radio. I
told her to go, what are you talking about? Why
are you mad at me? Because she didn't give him none?

Speaker 2 (13:01):
All right?

Speaker 1 (13:02):
Coming up next Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this,
you're listening to The Harvey Morning Show.
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