The Men In My Fiance’s Family

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
It's time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you
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(00:23):
up and hold on tight. We got it for you here.
It is the Strawberry Letter. Thank you. Nephew's subject the
men in my fiance's family. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm engaged
to a man that is eleven years my junior. I'm
forty two years old, and he jokes that his father
is only six years older than I am. It's odd
that I was attracted to him because I met him

(00:45):
with his dad and his dad was laying it on thick.
I was john to my fiance because he was cool
and laid back. I am very close to my fiance's mother,
and she has two sons by her husband. When we're
all together, my fiance and his two younger brothers were
a big, happy family. When his dad joins into the

(01:07):
mix drama occurs. He and my fiance's mother have been
at odds for years because he didn't want to be
with her, simple as that they had my fiance when
they were in high school and broke up when my
fiance was ten years old. Hey, stuff happens, but now
he wants that old thing back and she's not having it.

(01:29):
My background is in counseling, so I try to mediate
their arguments, but they get pretty bad. Over the weekend,
we all got together for my future mother in law's
sons graduation, and I don't know why my fiance's dad
showed up, but he did. Her husband stepped to him
and said it's not his son, and he appreciates, appreciated

(01:53):
the graduation gift, but he isn't part of the family
and should stop popping up. They had words and it
got loud, and my fiance's dad told the husband that
he was going to get his girl back no matter what.
I recorded the altercation on my phone because I was
recording the graduation. I gave the video to my future

(02:15):
mother in law and she used the video to get
a restraining order on my fiance's father, saying he's a threat.
My fiance and his dad are furious with me. I
did not intend for this to happen. All I did
was share the video. How is this my fault and
how do I fix it? Wow? Oh, well, it isn't

(02:39):
your fault. I agree with you and don't take the
blame for this. This is his dad's fault. Period. You
did nothing wrong. Like you said, you were already filming
the graduation. Who knew your fiance's dad was coming and
was going to act a fool and something was gonna
jump off like this It would have been on tape anyway.
I am concerned because his dad has a nerve to

(03:02):
be mad at you for his bad behavior. He wasn't
invited to the graduation, and you said every time he
comes around the family, it's a problem. Some drama occurs.
Not only that he's disrespecting the husband in his face
by saying he's trying to get his girl back. It's
not his girl. Remember, he didn't want her, according to you,

(03:23):
so she moved on and got married, and now he
can't handle it. I know he's mad that his son
got you over him, and he missed out on you too,
So his son, your fiance is in an awkward position. Now.
He probably feels torn, feels guilty for being with you,
knowing his dad was trying so hard to get you,
and his dad has guilted him into being on his side.

(03:46):
This is a mess. Both the son and his father
are mad at you. The son is your fiance. What
do you do? I don't really know. Try to talk
to your fiance or something like that. I don't know
if it's gonna help, because, uh, it seems right now
that his loyalty is to his dad. Maybe he'll get
over it when it simmers down a little bit, But

(04:07):
I don't know, because this really really is a mess. Steve. Well,
you know, I see a lot of problems in this letter,
and I'm as I read this letter, I'm gonna point
out to you what I think are the real problems. Okay,
this woman says, I'm engaged to a man that's eleven

(04:29):
years my junior. He's forty two. That makes her fifty three. No,
she's forty two. She's forty two. So this dude is
what thirty one one, thirty one and eight and her daddy,
the daddy is forty eight. Okay, now here's here's the problem.

(04:55):
You're engaged to this man that's eleven years your junior
and you at forty two, and his father is six
years old and nine, which makes him forty eight. It's odd.
Here's the letter. It's odd that I was attracted to
him because I met him with his dad and his
dad was laying it on thick. Here's your problem. Here's

(05:18):
one of the problems. Did daddy was laying it on
thick when he met you? You are attracted to the boy,
See Na, Na, We got the problem. Then you said
I was drawn to my fiance because he was cool

(05:40):
and laid back. I'm very close to my fiance's mother.
See this story just takes a big jump. Now, she's
very close to the fiance's mother, and she's got two
sons by her husband. When we all together, my fiance
and his two younger brothers, we're a big, happy family.
When the dad joins into the mixed draw, I'm an
occurge here. My fiance's mother have been at odd for

(06:05):
years because he didn't want to be with her. Simple
as that they had my fiance when they were in
high school and broke up, and when my fiance was
ten years old. Broke up. When my fiance was te
years old. Hey, stuff happens, but now he wants that
old thing back and he's not having it. Here's your problem.

(06:25):
My background is in counseling, so I try to mediate
their arguments, but they get pretty bad. Over the weekend.
They're go your other damn problem right there, You trying
to counsel people. When I come back, I'm gonna tell
you all about your little counseling escapade here. Why don't
ask me to get out of counseling. Hang on, Steve,
we'll have part two of your response coming up at
twenty three minutes to havel to be our today's Strawberry

(06:48):
Letters subjects of men and my fiance family. We'll get
back into it right after this. You're listening, all right,
Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter. Men and
my fiance's family is the subject. This lady forty two
years old and fiance is thirty one. He joked that

(07:08):
she six years closer to her daddy age. He fought
that they met together. He hit on her, He hit
the daddy hit on her. She liked the boy better,
you know, so nine they together, fast forward, they got
she got a great relationship with her fiance's mother. She
got two sons from another manage. They had her fiance
when he was ten, they was in high school. Blah

(07:29):
blah blah blah blah blah bla. That don't even matter.
Here on your damn problem right here. First of all,
the daddy hit on you when y'all first met. It
didn't work out. Second problem is my background is in counseling,
so I try to mediate they arguments, but they get

(07:49):
pretty bad. Now, how are you gonna mediate they arguments
when he was hitting on you? How does that work
when everything he do is gonna be a flex move
in front of you? And how you mediating the old
ass people arguments? You know how old people are arguing?

(08:11):
Now you all in the middle of that. You shut up,
you shut up. I ain't got a shut up, ain't
got shut up. I don't want to whether you need
to get the walking to the argument? Have I ever
shut up before? See that? Damn how you counsel that? All? Right? Now,

(08:31):
let's move on. Here's a problem. Uh. We all got
together from my future mother in law's sons graduation. See,
it's just too many people see you, you and your
counseling efforts. You're trying to sow too many people together.
All you really need to be worried about is you
and your fiance. But now, no, no, you all offering

(08:52):
the fiance business, the fiance mama business, the ex husband's business.
If you were just focused on you and your fiance.
But oh no, you super counselor you know what your school,
you to your last down and they got that degree.
You think you really think that degree is for this him?

(09:12):
That's what you think? Now what now one of these
situations a case. But when you were getting a little
damn counseling degree, you didn't run into this old black
people case that he did. You this anew So now
you sit up in the hill and you at your
future mother in law's sons graduation. I don't know why

(09:35):
my fiance's dad showed up, but he did. Her husband
stepped to him and said, it's not his son, and
he appreciated the graduation guilt, but he ain't part of
the family. He all just stopped popping off because it
ain't your son. Don't why you hill. They had words
and they got loud. My fiance's dad finally told her

(09:55):
husband he gonna get his girl back, no matter what,
I whipped his ass after graduation. Now, now guess what
the counselor did. I recorded the altercation on my phone
because I was recording the graduation. Yeah, girl, you could
have stopped you. You was recording the graduation. Why did

(10:15):
you turn the camera on the altercation? So then I
gave the video to my future mother in law, you know,
because you did say y'all close, And she used the
video to get a restraint in order on my fiance
his father, saying that he's a threat. My fiance and

(10:36):
his dad are furious with me. I did not intend
for this to happen. All idea would share the video?
Why because you counseling. You taking pictures of the counseling.
You gonna marry the boy? You trying to stay in
good with the mother. That's all idea would share the video.

(10:57):
You're forty two the video Now she used it as evidence.
How is this my fault and how do I fix it?
Wait a minute, hold on counseling. You said, how is
this my fault? And how do I fix it? If
it wasn't your fault, you wouldn't be trying to fix it.
So how's this fault because you and other people's business.

(11:20):
Come on, because you're so damn busy being in other
people's business instead of the business of gathering the future
with that little boy you got now him and his
daddy man at your ad because you don't they don't
broke the cardinal rule in the black family, you do

(11:41):
not call the damn police. I don't care what we
do at this house. You're gonna call the police and
got a restrain in order on this dude. But now
he comfortable enough to come to your son's graduation with
your husband and tell your husband he gonna get you back?
How to end it this test day? You finna get

(12:04):
who back though, Now I'm gonna show you what you
finn to get. But no, no, no, no no, you're
finn to get back. But you ain't finna get her back.
You don't want to be fighting at the graduation. She
recorded it because she messy. Now, how is this my fault?
And how do I fix it? Yeah? I don't care
how you fix it. Stay out of folk business. You

(12:27):
ain't the counselor you thought you was. You are college
graduate counselor. You can't counsel real situation. You have to
do the stuff that's in them books. Now, this man
wan't his woman back, that ain't his woman? And now

(12:47):
you where was that at the school? Did they teach
you that? All right? Thank you? Please leave your comments
on Today's letter on Instagram at Steve Harvey them and
please check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Okay, now,
coming up next, it is Junior with sports talk coming

(13:08):
up right after this. You're listening to this Dave Harvey
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