February 6, 2024 • 20 mins
Brenda is calling us about her boyfriend. They started dating after he left his wife to get with Brenda. Now she's worried that he's talking to other women. Is this Karma for Brenda, or should she try to work it out with him?
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Bread Show is on. It's Stay or Go Brand. Hi, Brenda,
how you doing? Good morning? Hi, Good morning, Brand, Welcome
to the program.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
What's going on with you? It's like group therapy. We
call it stay or Go? Tell us everything.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
Okay, So I've been dating this guy for about six
months and we are exclusive. But I mean everything's going really,
really well. But I have to admit that we definitely
started sort of seeing each other when he was married
a few years ago.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Okay, any things happened, so I'm told?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
So yeah, okay, so he was So you were having
an affair with him?
Speaker 3 (00:43):
No, No, I mean we didn't do anything sexually until
he was separated from his wife.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Well that's wrong with that.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Well, we I mean we would go out and you know,
get drinks when he was still with her, but it
was sort of, you know, it was a friend thing.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Okay, So we'll go with that. Friends until he was
separated and then it became physical. And now you guys
have been together together exclusively. Okay, So what's the issue.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
So the issue is, like I said, we've been seeing
each other for six months, but recently he's been hanging
out with this woman from his office after work. And
whenever I ask him about it, he says, you know,
I have nothing to worry about, but I'm a little
(01:33):
worried because this is basically how we started seeing each other,
and I don't know if it's going to turn into something.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Out I see.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Okay, So now all of a sudden, it's almost as
if the tables have turned, and it would appear that
you know, now he's got this friend at work and
they're having drinks, but you guys are together, So in
your mind, you're going, well, because we did this, then
what would prevent him from doing it again with someone else?
Because well, we justified it. So interesting, what does your
(02:09):
gun tell you? Does your gut tell you that you
have nothing to worry about? Or that does this smell
a lot like the your situation?
Speaker 3 (02:18):
I mean, I'm not sure. I think that they're just friends.
But again, we've only been together for six months.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
When did the when was a true transition, like like
real talk between us girls?
Speaker 1 (02:36):
When you were when.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
You were just quote unquote friends and you weren't supposedly physical,
I mean, when he was still married, did it feel
a lot like a relationship or was it truly a friendship?
That then he gets separated and goes you know what
there should be there could be a physical component to this,
or hey, we should try to be more than friends.
I mean, did you kind of know what was happening
before it happened?
Speaker 4 (03:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (03:01):
I did.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
I mean I think he knew too, and we just
sort of tried to ignore it. But we definitely felt something.
We never talked about anything, but there was definitely a.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Spark because it sounds like this dude wouldn't have any
real problem turning friends into romance, you know, any other thing. Yes,
And you want to believe trust me, trust me. You
want to believe that it's just you. You know, you
want to believe that you're the one, this serendipity or
something like you came along at the right time and
and you know, you guys were meant to be together
(03:33):
and that's why this behavior is this way.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
That's what you want to believe. It can happen. I
think I think it can.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
But I think it's interesting that he all of a
sudden now has this new female friend from work. Now, Brenda,
are you included in this relationship at all? Like, are
you ever invited to go out with the two of them?
Speaker 3 (03:48):
No?
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Oh, no, girl, this is karma. A ye is karma.
But b he's doing the same thing he did he
did with his wife. Like, he can't go if you
guys are together.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
He can't go off the coworker with no explanation and say, hey,
we're just getting drinks.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
You can't come along. There's no reason for you.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
I would think if he wanted you to know that
this wasn't like your situation, that he would include you
in this, or there would be more people than just
the two of them. It doesn't look good. I'm not
saying he definitely is doing that, but it doesn't look good.
Speaker 6 (04:19):
How you get him is how you lose him. Yeah,
she should have thought about that when she was with
that man's that lady's husband. So now that she has
that lady's husband, now she's in that seat and she
don't like how I feel.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
I'm sorry, Frian, but you probably need to leave.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Wow, okay, all right? Eight five five five nine one
three five. The text are below. Wa yeah about this, Brenda,
have the radio one. I want to hear what people
have to say. But thanks for calling. Good luck.
Speaker 7 (04:49):
You See.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Look, I don't know that it necessarily has to be
like that. Like, let's sit, you meet somebody. Look, I
don't know the nature of their relationship. I don't know
the nature of the marriage. Let's say the marriage was
was bad and it was unwinding and things weren't going well.
Let's just say that, right, and then he meets the
other girl, and then there's like, I don't know, there's
the transition. Maybe the marriage was already over before it
(05:12):
even started. So why does that make him? Why does
he have karma against him? Why is he considered a
quote unquote cheater? He says, nothing happened till they were separated. Technically,
that's not cheating.
Speaker 6 (05:21):
Well, you know, I love it technically because technically he's married.
So when you with him, technically y'all cheating and creeping
because he's still married. He belonged with somebody else on paper,
and she knew that, and now that she has him,
she's uncomfortable with him doing the exact same thing. And
for furthermore, what man, Okay, need a new female friend, right,
I don't understand. You know, you got your mama and
(05:41):
your sister.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
What other friend? I'm worried about that. Let's let's move
onward to what he's doing.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Now, I don't necessarily think that the fact that he
linked up with another woman while his marriage was dissolving,
I don't necessarily that's very common.
Speaker 7 (05:54):
We don't know if it's dissolving though right right separated, yes,
but we don't like know that for sure. I'm gonna
get confirmation.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
We can't say, does I think someone while you're separated
is not? It is very common, happens all the time.
So I don't like you. You can't help who you
fall for. Like I've fallen for people that I'm not
supposed to seriously married man.
Speaker 8 (06:14):
You No, I've not fallen for a married man, but
I've fallen for people that, like I shouldn't be falling for.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
And you can't help that.
Speaker 8 (06:21):
Now, how you act after that that speaks to your character.
But we can't act like just because someone's married doesn't
mean there isn't chemistry or that you're not like, oh crap,
I'm getting a.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Crush on someone.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
I don't love the fact that after six months he's
already got a new female friend that she can interne
in a setting that she can't be inclusion. That's where
I'm at with this. Things are situation does look like
a pattern for him. I don't necessarily think, though, that
because you met someone who then got separated and dated him,
I don't think that necessarily means that this person is
(06:54):
inherently a cheater, until, of course, he finds another female
friend at work to hang out with. Just friends that
you're not allowed to know about. You can't go to
the meetings, you can't know this person, You're not included
in that social setting.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
I don't like that.
Speaker 8 (07:09):
I don't know you can say to someone listen, I
have I'm getting feelings for you. So I'm gonna cut this.
This is inappropriate. I'm not going to hang out with
you like we can't have a friendship, and then they
can go do whatever they want to do.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
But yeah, the Devil's advocate being that's how they met.
It looks like that's what he's doing again now, I
mean I can see, yeah, I can see why she
has concerns.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
Them.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
I've never heard that before, but that is I mean,
I never heard that particular saying. I've heard about karma.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Okay, Kara boy, Hey Myra, Hi Myra, Oh, good morning, welcome.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
What do you think.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
I think number one? This is her karma?
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Number two?
Speaker 4 (07:53):
If he did it with her, He's going to do
it to her.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
So if she's gonna say, that's what's going to happen
to her, this is what she gets.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
So somebody who will be blurry with their existing relationship
will will always be blurry with you.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
In my experience, I had a husband who was very
friendly with coworkers and eventually left me for one.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
So I know it's going to happen to her too.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Okay, fair enough, Yeah, thank you, Marah, have a good day.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Thank Yeah. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
I don't have much argument against this. I'd like to
believe that sometimes, to your point, came when some people,
you know, relationships phase out, new relationships phase in new
phase of life, Like sometimes I want to believe that
certain people are meant to be together at certain times,
and maybe it's not one person for the rest of
your life. I'd like to believe that there's a way
to handle it such that it doesn't mean that the
person's going to do it to you just like it
(08:47):
happened to you, you know what I mean. I'd like
to believe that it's like, Okay, that's over, this is beginning,
and that's great, and this is what I was supposed
to be doing as opposed to that's over, now this
and now moving on to something else, be shady again.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Yeah. I like to believe that. Yeah, but it's not black. Yeah,
and it doesn't work that way.
Speaker 7 (09:03):
I feel like a lot of overlapping contend to happen,
you know what I'm saying. So I think that might
be happening here. Although can I play doubles ou kit
really quick too? You didn't mention like, oh, if their
relationship or their marriage was rocky, right, what if I'm
just saying like the wife was blindsided? Like what if
like it was rocky, but she didn't think like he
was doing this or leaving or whatever, Like, I don't think.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
It's fair to her, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
No, I mean people are saying I'm naive. It's not
that I'm naive. I just don't necessarily want to believe
that once a cheater, always a cheater. I want to
believe that it's if someone is capable of reforming their ways.
I will say, if you cheat more than once, then
I begin to believe that you're a habitual, that you're
a narcissist, and you come first, and and that you
probably will do it again, because if you can, if
(09:43):
you can defile someone that way more than once, then
I think there's something about you that says you're just
more important than everybody else. Hey Catherine, Hey, Hey, good
morning Catherine. What do you think Sarago?
Speaker 7 (09:57):
Oh my goodness, friend, I love you guys.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
I she needs to go. This seems super sketchy. And
I totally agree.
Speaker 9 (10:03):
With Kiki how you get them and how you lose.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Them, and I think this is her karma. She it
doesn't sound good.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
She needs to go.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
It doesn't look great. No, it doesn't. Thank you, Catherine,
Thank you. I wouldn't think a whole lot about this
if he didn't just hurry up and get himself a
new friend at work.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Right, that's shady.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
And again, you can have friends at work. But anytime
that I'm you know, talking to somebody who has friends
that I don't get to know or have any role in,
you know whatever, or like I'm a secret or something
like that, maybe usually doesn't end.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Will Hey Liz, Hi, Hi, Liz, good morning, stay her go.
Speaker 6 (10:39):
I think you should stay well why.
Speaker 9 (10:45):
She used to deal with her karma and get ready
for all the girls that are going to be coming
up next.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
But he really Lessie.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
So that's why, that's why Liz wants her to stay,
so she can like soak it all away, just like Kiki.
Speaker 9 (10:57):
Said, how you get them with how you lose them?
So she should be ready.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
But what if they're in like a super dysfunctional relationship
that was going to end anyway, and then he just
meets this other person and it's like, oh, okay, I'm
moving on now, like this thing's been broken, and now
I have a reason to leave, like a real reason
to leave, or a reason to expedite the process, Like
why does it have to be forget about again? You
add the component of this other new new woman and
now I'm skeptical. But without that, why does it have
(11:22):
to be that someone who with whom there was a
gray area will always there will always be a gray area,
you know what I mean? Like, Liz, would you feel
the same way about this story if there was not
another woman now emerging?
Speaker 9 (11:35):
No, if it wasn't another woman emerging, if he left
on a court and then after not was someone But
if she, knowing he was in a relationship, even if
it was Rocky, jumped into that spot, she was throwing
everything up.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Huh okay, all right, Lisa, have a good day.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
I love you guys.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
I love you too. Sheila. How you doing, good morning,
I'm good. How are you guys, Sheila? Welcome, thanks for listening.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
So just to recap here, the woman that called was
friends quote unquote with a man who was married. She
claims that they didn't cross over into a romantic sort
of realm until he was separated, and then now they've
been together for six months and then all of a sudden,
now homeboys got a new friend at work that he
(12:22):
hangs out with and has drinks with, just like he
did with the one he's with.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Now, what do you think I think she is?
Speaker 4 (12:29):
I think she was the product of a marriage dissolution,
and I think she needs to understand that there are
three parts to this, Like you were just saying about
the guy and how you're looking at it from, I
guess the guy's perspective of being in a relationship, and
how a person can be friends with someone quote unquote
and then crossed the line to their marriage dissolving and
(12:49):
now they enter into that relationship. Well, we're trying to
remind you of afraid the build up to that you
don't just wake up and say, oh, I'm going to
be in an intimate, really relationship with somebody who once
was married or is separated. You know that you're making
a conscious effort to get in the middle of a marriage,
and that is what she did. If their marriage was ended,
(13:10):
let it end. But if you are a part of
that dysfunction, you don't get rewarded for that. That's what
I'm saying, Parma. I'm a wife. I wish my husband
would tell me where you got a friend someplace, and
I can't go be with them be automatically. You're telling
me that there's something's happening that you don't want me
to be witnessed to. I'm talking about from a marriage perspective.
(13:33):
We're not going in and play games. If that's the case,
what's what you're getting married for. So she knew that
she was an active participant in a marriage being dissolved,
that's the problem.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
I don't know about that, though.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
I think it's possible that you.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
Think it's.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Well, hold on, now here's the thing. There's a caveat here.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
I think it's possible that you can come along at
a time where someone else's relationship is over. Now they
got to end that relationship and then you can move
on together, and then they got to not get a
new friend six months later. I think it's possible that
you could meet someone who is in a completely broken dynamic.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
I don't necessarily think that.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
I think it's also possible you can come along and
influence someone to break up with. But that's different than
meeting someone who your understanding is their relationship is over
the female.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
I agree with that, but their relationship is not over.
It's he's still married. Well, she did not say that
they were separated, that they were living in two separate homes,
that they had already signed the papers waiting on the
court date.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
She didn't say that.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
And then on top of that, she at home sitting
on the couch reading the book, with dinner getting cold
on the table.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Ain't life doing That's we're putting a lot on the station.
It's the biggest concern here is the past.
Speaker 4 (14:56):
What I'm trying to say is what I'm trying to
say is the whole point is you don't know the
best thing for you to do is get out of it,
because it's not your marriage. If you are actively going
out with him and actively spending time with him, and
you are developing soon and I'm assuming he works too.
Being you at a part to play in their marriage
being dissolved. What you're supposed to do is respect this
(15:16):
same respected his marriage, respect yourself, and don't put yourself
in a position that you would not want to be
putting in. We don't know what the dynamic of him
and his wife was. We know is a married man.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Good day, love ya very compelling defense attorney or something?
He's lawyer, very compelling. Uh, Kiara, Hey, now is going
to take another stance on this. Let it Kiara, it's
a safe place kind of soda. Let's hear it.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
I just double advocate.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
I ain't left my marriage for a coworker and we've
been with each other for three years now, so safe.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Back and so but hold on a second.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
I want to be clear that I understand you you
left your marriage because of this man.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
Yeah, now that.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
I'm glad it's working for you.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
But there's gonna be a lot of people listening now
going you essentially and I'm not saying I agree with
this because I don't really know, but they're saying that
you essentially influenced that breakup. I think that is different
from from meeting somebody who is already prior to you
in something that's broken, where I'm not the reason one.
Speaker 8 (16:34):
Okay, yeah, I have left someone when I went, oh
my god, I'm having feelings for someone else. This is
completely inappropriate. So I have broken up with my boyfriend
because wrong. Being able to get feelings for someone else
means something's missing.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
The key is get out for step one, get out,
and then step two, don't go find yourself and that
a little friend.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Six months later, you're hanging out with you know, white.
I hate that kind of thing.
Speaker 6 (16:56):
So were you sleeping or messing with your new man?
You were married?
Speaker 1 (17:01):
No, I was separated, Okay, so you waited until you
were you divorced, not fully divorced. I think separation. I
just want to make sure is good enough. That's a breakup, okay,
if it's he wants his family right.
Speaker 6 (17:18):
I'm sending that you can't pick out the socks at
the funeral until you can take like ten years, like
Holme Bran and what's her name? And if you go today,
Angelina gonna picked them socks out for the funeral. That's
why you need to get your paper work clear.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Okay, here, thank you, have a good day. I mean, basically,
it's just a bunch of goes. Everybody saying go Sandy, Hi, Sandy, you.
Speaker 10 (17:43):
Say go, yes, go, because I don't think, no matter
what happens, I think she's getting a taste of what
she puts this guy's wife through.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
But again, I'm sorry. I mean, people can get mad
at me.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Who is to say that this woman who called our
show put his wife through anything? Maybe it was over.
I'm more worried about what he's doing again. You know,
you're repeating himself. That's the problem.
Speaker 10 (18:11):
Okay, But when when you have somebody that even if
they were just friends, you know, in a case, got
for drink and talk stuff over.
Speaker 5 (18:20):
Thing, it makes it really easy for that person, for
that man to just think, well, you know, he's not
putting one hundred percent into marriage.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
That could be true. Yeah, yeah, I hear that.
Speaker 10 (18:32):
I know because it happened to me, so I hear.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Which is why you're got to make me really easy
to do stuff like this. You've got to make moves right,
You got to do that. You got to make moves
move forward. And then I go get yourself in that
little friend. Six months later, it looks exactly like the
other situation.
Speaker 10 (18:48):
She's I think she's getting her karma, and if I
were her, I would I would get out of it.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Now before she's hurting hurt even more.
Speaker 10 (18:56):
But at least you know she could sit there and think, Jesus,
what you know, I maybe I maybe did this to
his wife.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Yeah, okay, Sidney, that's the part where we might disagree.
But thank you, Sidney, because we don't know that part.
But have a great day. I'm so glad you called.
Thank you for listening to this.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
We don't know. I need to know more about how
it started, putting.
Speaker 8 (19:17):
Their own experiences on this situation, and there's so many
details that we don't know.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
So I understand if you've been cheated. I've been cheated
on it. I understand why you'd want to I've had
people lie to me too, so I get it. But
there's so much we don't know.
Speaker 8 (19:28):
I just don't think life is The problem is a
friend it will Yes, that's great problem with them.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Because I'm gonna say this, there is a big difference,
in my opinion, between a person who comes along and
influences a happily married person to leave verse or influences
them to lean into their you know, lust or fa
that why, Well.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
You're happily married, can you influence someone to leave? But
if you're But that's one thing.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
If you meet someone who's already in a situation where
it's like, okay, I'm separated, I'm out, this is ending,
we're dissolving it, and then you meet that, I don't
think that is I don't think I have to wait
till the paperwork is like signed.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
I know what you're saying.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
How is that any different than I moved out, I'm done.
It's a lot different because it's in the court room. Yes,
I don't mean no.
Speaker 6 (20:14):
That makes it a say judge, I'm not dating. Nobody
does married period, Like you gotta figure that out. You
can go get you a divorced down at the Curtesy
Exchange for as far as I'm concerned.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
But I'm not dating you if you're married. So that's
just the day you got to stand on business. My
friend O Marion is married and he's getting he's going
through it. Well, that's there is Like Kayla said, nothing's
black and white. There's an asterix to her opinion. This
is fine print. You gotta read.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
I show up, Shelley, five hundred bucks eighty five five
five nine one three five Call now and we'll play
next after you on the French Show
The Bread Show is on. It's Stay or Go Brand. Hi, Brenda,
how you doing? Good morning? Hi, Good morning, Brand, Welcome
to the program.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
What's going on with you? It's like group therapy. We
call it stay or Go? Tell us everything.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
Okay, So I've been dating this guy for about six
months and we are exclusive. But I mean everything's going really,
really well. But I have to admit that we definitely
started sort of seeing each other when he was married
a few years ago.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Okay, any things happened, so I'm told?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
So yeah, okay, so he was So you were having
an affair with him?
Speaker 3 (00:43):
No, No, I mean we didn't do anything sexually until
he was separated from his wife.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Well that's wrong with that.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Well, we I mean we would go out and you know,
get drinks when he was still with her, but it
was sort of, you know, it was a friend thing.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Okay, So we'll go with that. Friends until he was
separated and then it became physical. And now you guys
have been together together exclusively. Okay, So what's the issue.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
So the issue is, like I said, we've been seeing
each other for six months, but recently he's been hanging
out with this woman from his office after work. And
whenever I ask him about it, he says, you know,
I have nothing to worry about, but I'm a little
(01:33):
worried because this is basically how we started seeing each other,
and I don't know if it's going to turn into something.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Out I see.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Okay, So now all of a sudden, it's almost as
if the tables have turned, and it would appear that
you know, now he's got this friend at work and
they're having drinks, but you guys are together, So in
your mind, you're going, well, because we did this, then
what would prevent him from doing it again with someone else?
Because well, we justified it. So interesting, what does your
(02:09):
gun tell you? Does your gut tell you that you
have nothing to worry about? Or that does this smell
a lot like the your situation?
Speaker 3 (02:18):
I mean, I'm not sure. I think that they're just friends.
But again, we've only been together for six months.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
When did the when was a true transition, like like
real talk between us girls?
Speaker 1 (02:36):
When you were when.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
You were just quote unquote friends and you weren't supposedly physical,
I mean, when he was still married, did it feel
a lot like a relationship or was it truly a friendship?
That then he gets separated and goes you know what
there should be there could be a physical component to this,
or hey, we should try to be more than friends.
I mean, did you kind of know what was happening
before it happened?
Speaker 4 (03:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (03:01):
I did.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
I mean I think he knew too, and we just
sort of tried to ignore it. But we definitely felt something.
We never talked about anything, but there was definitely a.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Spark because it sounds like this dude wouldn't have any
real problem turning friends into romance, you know, any other thing. Yes,
And you want to believe trust me, trust me. You
want to believe that it's just you. You know, you
want to believe that you're the one, this serendipity or
something like you came along at the right time and
and you know, you guys were meant to be together
(03:33):
and that's why this behavior is this way.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
That's what you want to believe. It can happen. I
think I think it can.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
But I think it's interesting that he all of a
sudden now has this new female friend from work. Now, Brenda,
are you included in this relationship at all? Like, are
you ever invited to go out with the two of them?
Speaker 3 (03:48):
No?
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Oh, no, girl, this is karma. A ye is karma.
But b he's doing the same thing he did he
did with his wife. Like, he can't go if you
guys are together.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
He can't go off the coworker with no explanation and say, hey,
we're just getting drinks.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
You can't come along. There's no reason for you.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
I would think if he wanted you to know that
this wasn't like your situation, that he would include you
in this, or there would be more people than just
the two of them. It doesn't look good. I'm not
saying he definitely is doing that, but it doesn't look good.
Speaker 6 (04:19):
How you get him is how you lose him. Yeah,
she should have thought about that when she was with
that man's that lady's husband. So now that she has
that lady's husband, now she's in that seat and she
don't like how I feel.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
I'm sorry, Frian, but you probably need to leave.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Wow, okay, all right? Eight five five five nine one
three five. The text are below. Wa yeah about this, Brenda,
have the radio one. I want to hear what people
have to say. But thanks for calling. Good luck.
Speaker 7 (04:49):
You See.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Look, I don't know that it necessarily has to be
like that. Like, let's sit, you meet somebody. Look, I
don't know the nature of their relationship. I don't know
the nature of the marriage. Let's say the marriage was
was bad and it was unwinding and things weren't going well.
Let's just say that, right, and then he meets the
other girl, and then there's like, I don't know, there's
the transition. Maybe the marriage was already over before it
(05:12):
even started. So why does that make him? Why does
he have karma against him? Why is he considered a
quote unquote cheater? He says, nothing happened till they were separated. Technically,
that's not cheating.
Speaker 6 (05:21):
Well, you know, I love it technically because technically he's married.
So when you with him, technically y'all cheating and creeping
because he's still married. He belonged with somebody else on paper,
and she knew that, and now that she has him,
she's uncomfortable with him doing the exact same thing. And
for furthermore, what man, Okay, need a new female friend, right,
I don't understand. You know, you got your mama and
(05:41):
your sister.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
What other friend? I'm worried about that. Let's let's move
onward to what he's doing.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Now, I don't necessarily think that the fact that he
linked up with another woman while his marriage was dissolving,
I don't necessarily that's very common.
Speaker 7 (05:54):
We don't know if it's dissolving though right right separated, yes,
but we don't like know that for sure. I'm gonna
get confirmation.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
We can't say, does I think someone while you're separated
is not? It is very common, happens all the time.
So I don't like you. You can't help who you
fall for. Like I've fallen for people that I'm not
supposed to seriously married man.
Speaker 8 (06:14):
You No, I've not fallen for a married man, but
I've fallen for people that, like I shouldn't be falling for.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
And you can't help that.
Speaker 8 (06:21):
Now, how you act after that that speaks to your character.
But we can't act like just because someone's married doesn't
mean there isn't chemistry or that you're not like, oh crap,
I'm getting a.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Crush on someone.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
I don't love the fact that after six months he's
already got a new female friend that she can interne
in a setting that she can't be inclusion. That's where
I'm at with this. Things are situation does look like
a pattern for him. I don't necessarily think, though, that
because you met someone who then got separated and dated him,
I don't think that necessarily means that this person is
(06:54):
inherently a cheater, until, of course, he finds another female
friend at work to hang out with. Just friends that
you're not allowed to know about. You can't go to
the meetings, you can't know this person, You're not included
in that social setting.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
I don't like that.
Speaker 8 (07:09):
I don't know you can say to someone listen, I
have I'm getting feelings for you. So I'm gonna cut this.
This is inappropriate. I'm not going to hang out with
you like we can't have a friendship, and then they
can go do whatever they want to do.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
But yeah, the Devil's advocate being that's how they met.
It looks like that's what he's doing again now, I
mean I can see, yeah, I can see why she
has concerns.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
Them.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
I've never heard that before, but that is I mean,
I never heard that particular saying. I've heard about karma.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Okay, Kara boy, Hey Myra, Hi Myra, Oh, good morning, welcome.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
What do you think.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
I think number one? This is her karma?
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Number two?
Speaker 4 (07:53):
If he did it with her, He's going to do
it to her.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
So if she's gonna say, that's what's going to happen
to her, this is what she gets.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
So somebody who will be blurry with their existing relationship
will will always be blurry with you.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
In my experience, I had a husband who was very
friendly with coworkers and eventually left me for one.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
So I know it's going to happen to her too.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Okay, fair enough, Yeah, thank you, Marah, have a good day.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Thank Yeah. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
I don't have much argument against this. I'd like to
believe that sometimes, to your point, came when some people,
you know, relationships phase out, new relationships phase in new
phase of life, Like sometimes I want to believe that
certain people are meant to be together at certain times,
and maybe it's not one person for the rest of
your life. I'd like to believe that there's a way
to handle it such that it doesn't mean that the
person's going to do it to you just like it
(08:47):
happened to you, you know what I mean. I'd like
to believe that it's like, Okay, that's over, this is beginning,
and that's great, and this is what I was supposed
to be doing as opposed to that's over, now this
and now moving on to something else, be shady again.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Yeah. I like to believe that. Yeah, but it's not black. Yeah,
and it doesn't work that way.
Speaker 7 (09:03):
I feel like a lot of overlapping contend to happen,
you know what I'm saying. So I think that might
be happening here. Although can I play doubles ou kit
really quick too? You didn't mention like, oh, if their
relationship or their marriage was rocky, right, what if I'm
just saying like the wife was blindsided? Like what if
like it was rocky, but she didn't think like he
was doing this or leaving or whatever, Like, I don't think.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
It's fair to her, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
No, I mean people are saying I'm naive. It's not
that I'm naive. I just don't necessarily want to believe
that once a cheater, always a cheater. I want to
believe that it's if someone is capable of reforming their ways.
I will say, if you cheat more than once, then
I begin to believe that you're a habitual, that you're
a narcissist, and you come first, and and that you
probably will do it again, because if you can, if
(09:43):
you can defile someone that way more than once, then
I think there's something about you that says you're just
more important than everybody else. Hey Catherine, Hey, Hey, good
morning Catherine. What do you think Sarago?
Speaker 7 (09:57):
Oh my goodness, friend, I love you guys.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
I she needs to go. This seems super sketchy. And
I totally agree.
Speaker 9 (10:03):
With Kiki how you get them and how you lose.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Them, and I think this is her karma. She it
doesn't sound good.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
She needs to go.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
It doesn't look great. No, it doesn't. Thank you, Catherine,
Thank you. I wouldn't think a whole lot about this
if he didn't just hurry up and get himself a
new friend at work.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Right, that's shady.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
And again, you can have friends at work. But anytime
that I'm you know, talking to somebody who has friends
that I don't get to know or have any role in,
you know whatever, or like I'm a secret or something
like that, maybe usually doesn't end.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Will Hey Liz, Hi, Hi, Liz, good morning, stay her go.
Speaker 6 (10:39):
I think you should stay well why.
Speaker 9 (10:45):
She used to deal with her karma and get ready
for all the girls that are going to be coming
up next.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
But he really Lessie.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
So that's why, that's why Liz wants her to stay,
so she can like soak it all away, just like Kiki.
Speaker 9 (10:57):
Said, how you get them with how you lose them?
So she should be ready.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
But what if they're in like a super dysfunctional relationship
that was going to end anyway, and then he just
meets this other person and it's like, oh, okay, I'm
moving on now, like this thing's been broken, and now
I have a reason to leave, like a real reason
to leave, or a reason to expedite the process, Like
why does it have to be forget about again? You
add the component of this other new new woman and
now I'm skeptical. But without that, why does it have
(11:22):
to be that someone who with whom there was a
gray area will always there will always be a gray area,
you know what I mean? Like, Liz, would you feel
the same way about this story if there was not
another woman now emerging?
Speaker 9 (11:35):
No, if it wasn't another woman emerging, if he left
on a court and then after not was someone But
if she, knowing he was in a relationship, even if
it was Rocky, jumped into that spot, she was throwing
everything up.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Huh okay, all right, Lisa, have a good day.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
I love you guys.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
I love you too. Sheila. How you doing, good morning,
I'm good. How are you guys, Sheila? Welcome, thanks for listening.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
So just to recap here, the woman that called was
friends quote unquote with a man who was married. She
claims that they didn't cross over into a romantic sort
of realm until he was separated, and then now they've
been together for six months and then all of a sudden,
now homeboys got a new friend at work that he
(12:22):
hangs out with and has drinks with, just like he
did with the one he's with.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Now, what do you think I think she is?
Speaker 4 (12:29):
I think she was the product of a marriage dissolution,
and I think she needs to understand that there are
three parts to this, Like you were just saying about
the guy and how you're looking at it from, I
guess the guy's perspective of being in a relationship, and
how a person can be friends with someone quote unquote
and then crossed the line to their marriage dissolving and
(12:49):
now they enter into that relationship. Well, we're trying to
remind you of afraid the build up to that you
don't just wake up and say, oh, I'm going to
be in an intimate, really relationship with somebody who once
was married or is separated. You know that you're making
a conscious effort to get in the middle of a marriage,
and that is what she did. If their marriage was ended,
(13:10):
let it end. But if you are a part of
that dysfunction, you don't get rewarded for that. That's what
I'm saying, Parma. I'm a wife. I wish my husband
would tell me where you got a friend someplace, and
I can't go be with them be automatically. You're telling
me that there's something's happening that you don't want me
to be witnessed to. I'm talking about from a marriage perspective.
(13:33):
We're not going in and play games. If that's the case,
what's what you're getting married for. So she knew that
she was an active participant in a marriage being dissolved,
that's the problem.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
I don't know about that, though.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
I think it's possible that you.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
Think it's.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Well, hold on, now here's the thing. There's a caveat here.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
I think it's possible that you can come along at
a time where someone else's relationship is over. Now they
got to end that relationship and then you can move
on together, and then they got to not get a
new friend six months later. I think it's possible that
you could meet someone who is in a completely broken dynamic.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
I don't necessarily think that.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
I think it's also possible you can come along and
influence someone to break up with. But that's different than
meeting someone who your understanding is their relationship is over
the female.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
I agree with that, but their relationship is not over.
It's he's still married. Well, she did not say that
they were separated, that they were living in two separate homes,
that they had already signed the papers waiting on the
court date.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
She didn't say that.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
And then on top of that, she at home sitting
on the couch reading the book, with dinner getting cold
on the table.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Ain't life doing That's we're putting a lot on the station.
It's the biggest concern here is the past.
Speaker 4 (14:56):
What I'm trying to say is what I'm trying to
say is the whole point is you don't know the
best thing for you to do is get out of it,
because it's not your marriage. If you are actively going
out with him and actively spending time with him, and
you are developing soon and I'm assuming he works too.
Being you at a part to play in their marriage
being dissolved. What you're supposed to do is respect this
(15:16):
same respected his marriage, respect yourself, and don't put yourself
in a position that you would not want to be
putting in. We don't know what the dynamic of him
and his wife was. We know is a married man.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Good day, love ya very compelling defense attorney or something?
He's lawyer, very compelling. Uh, Kiara, Hey, now is going
to take another stance on this. Let it Kiara, it's
a safe place kind of soda. Let's hear it.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
I just double advocate.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
I ain't left my marriage for a coworker and we've
been with each other for three years now, so safe.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Back and so but hold on a second.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
I want to be clear that I understand you you
left your marriage because of this man.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
Yeah, now that.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
I'm glad it's working for you.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
But there's gonna be a lot of people listening now
going you essentially and I'm not saying I agree with
this because I don't really know, but they're saying that
you essentially influenced that breakup. I think that is different
from from meeting somebody who is already prior to you
in something that's broken, where I'm not the reason one.
Speaker 8 (16:34):
Okay, yeah, I have left someone when I went, oh
my god, I'm having feelings for someone else. This is
completely inappropriate. So I have broken up with my boyfriend
because wrong. Being able to get feelings for someone else
means something's missing.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
The key is get out for step one, get out,
and then step two, don't go find yourself and that
a little friend.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Six months later, you're hanging out with you know, white.
I hate that kind of thing.
Speaker 6 (16:56):
So were you sleeping or messing with your new man?
You were married?
Speaker 1 (17:01):
No, I was separated, Okay, so you waited until you
were you divorced, not fully divorced. I think separation. I
just want to make sure is good enough. That's a breakup, okay,
if it's he wants his family right.
Speaker 6 (17:18):
I'm sending that you can't pick out the socks at
the funeral until you can take like ten years, like
Holme Bran and what's her name? And if you go today,
Angelina gonna picked them socks out for the funeral. That's
why you need to get your paper work clear.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Okay, here, thank you, have a good day. I mean, basically,
it's just a bunch of goes. Everybody saying go Sandy, Hi, Sandy, you.
Speaker 10 (17:43):
Say go, yes, go, because I don't think, no matter
what happens, I think she's getting a taste of what
she puts this guy's wife through.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
But again, I'm sorry. I mean, people can get mad
at me.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Who is to say that this woman who called our
show put his wife through anything? Maybe it was over.
I'm more worried about what he's doing again. You know,
you're repeating himself. That's the problem.
Speaker 10 (18:11):
Okay, But when when you have somebody that even if
they were just friends, you know, in a case, got
for drink and talk stuff over.
Speaker 5 (18:20):
Thing, it makes it really easy for that person, for
that man to just think, well, you know, he's not
putting one hundred percent into marriage.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
That could be true. Yeah, yeah, I hear that.
Speaker 10 (18:32):
I know because it happened to me, so I hear.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Which is why you're got to make me really easy
to do stuff like this. You've got to make moves right,
You got to do that. You got to make moves
move forward. And then I go get yourself in that
little friend. Six months later, it looks exactly like the
other situation.
Speaker 10 (18:48):
She's I think she's getting her karma, and if I
were her, I would I would get out of it.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Now before she's hurting hurt even more.
Speaker 10 (18:56):
But at least you know she could sit there and think, Jesus,
what you know, I maybe I maybe did this to
his wife.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Yeah, okay, Sidney, that's the part where we might disagree.
But thank you, Sidney, because we don't know that part.
But have a great day. I'm so glad you called.
Thank you for listening to this.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
We don't know. I need to know more about how
it started, putting.
Speaker 8 (19:17):
Their own experiences on this situation, and there's so many
details that we don't know.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
So I understand if you've been cheated. I've been cheated
on it. I understand why you'd want to I've had
people lie to me too, so I get it. But
there's so much we don't know.
Speaker 8 (19:28):
I just don't think life is The problem is a
friend it will Yes, that's great problem with them.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Because I'm gonna say this, there is a big difference,
in my opinion, between a person who comes along and
influences a happily married person to leave verse or influences
them to lean into their you know, lust or fa
that why, Well.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
You're happily married, can you influence someone to leave? But
if you're But that's one thing.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
If you meet someone who's already in a situation where
it's like, okay, I'm separated, I'm out, this is ending,
we're dissolving it, and then you meet that, I don't
think that is I don't think I have to wait
till the paperwork is like signed.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
I know what you're saying.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
How is that any different than I moved out, I'm done.
It's a lot different because it's in the court room. Yes,
I don't mean no.
Speaker 6 (20:14):
That makes it a say judge, I'm not dating. Nobody
does married period, Like you gotta figure that out. You
can go get you a divorced down at the Curtesy
Exchange for as far as I'm concerned.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
But I'm not dating you if you're married. So that's
just the day you got to stand on business. My
friend O Marion is married and he's getting he's going
through it. Well, that's there is Like Kayla said, nothing's
black and white. There's an asterix to her opinion. This
is fine print. You gotta read.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
I show up, Shelley, five hundred bucks eighty five five
five nine one three five Call now and we'll play
next after you on the French Show
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