The First Tangent Of 2020

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Is this gonna work? Roofual? I don't know, well, I mean,
did other things work? Because I don't. I didn't even
want to bother with this here and talk to ourselves
for fifteen minutes. No, we're good, it's working. All right,
Let's do the first Tangent of twenty twenty. It's Fred
and Angie's the Tangents have given you all this we
couldn't talk about on air. You sure it works. It's working.

(00:21):
I could hear it. It's working. Okay. I feel like
we should get like a tape player in here and
record just an old standby, just real machine. Yeah, honestly,
just make sure not eighteen twenty. I don't know around here,
I'm yeah, speaking into a tin can. Someone on the
other end, canna hear us? Um? All right, guys, So

(00:43):
my sister's wedding will consume most of my thoughts, I
think for the next couple of weeks. I've I've pretty
much prepared the remarks. Um because I am. I am
officiating this thing, not because I asked to do it,
because they asked me to do it. It's an honor. No,
I'm honored, but I kind of wanted to just go.
I kind of want to relax attend. I don't want
to be kind of in the middle of the whole thing. Yeah,

(01:04):
but like you have that one obligation, it's like twenty
minutes and then you're done. Then you can chill and
then all you do is sit back and let people
tell you what a great job you did. That's what
they did at Rufio's wedding for me. Yeah, okay, well,
I mean your sister, I mean you got some good
things in there to say no, And I took Antie's advice.
I had this a little little questionnaire that I had
them nice and so there's that and their wedding gift

(01:27):
drives to their house tomorrow. I sent it to their
house because it's a large size. Your supply of keigs
for the kegerator, No, I just I bought the kegger
rader and they can deal with that. They put in it.
From the sounds of it is your supply of weed
is what they need. They smoke a lot of weed
at home. Yeah. I was a little upset that what

(01:50):
you Gotta Do art is formally known as death mental
didn't bring us any I was mad about it. I
know you can get it here now, but I can't
because I'm a pilot, so I can't. Well, you also
don't want to stand in a five hour line. They
made three point two million dollars in the the first day.
I know. That's another thing. And guess what, we won't
see any of it. There'll still be potholes. And that's
say how came my political connections didn't line me up

(02:11):
with a dispensary license or whatever? Where are my friends
in the city hall for that one? Just crazy? And
how many people that whole thing, like lines for hours?
I was like, right, all of you smoke weed before this, Well,
but this is legal and better and better. So you
still buy from your guy. You get to a dealer,
you get to pick your like, no, it's better. No,

(02:35):
Like you're gonna wait five hours just to pick your
strain some people and then get taxed. Yeah, the tax
tax is crazy. Support your city, you know we need
the money. Support your local weed dealer. Yeahs. Also get
a license though, like I've been thinking about my next
blo wants to get a license. We're talking a third
person now that what you just said. Paulina wants to

(02:57):
get a license. Friend wants Pauline to go buy weed
for him and then so my name's not on it, true,
but you get tested, right, No, there's no testilt, No,
there's no testing. But it's not federally legal. And so
I don't need my name. I don't want any kind
of paper trail. And I don't Some people say there is,
and there is, or they scan your idea, They don't.

(03:18):
I don't know. I just don't. I don't need it.
I don't know they keep track. Does anyone know? Now
since it's legal Illinois, what can they do about like
when they drug test you at work? Is that? Is
that it still? I think? I think companies still keep
there that. Yeah, they still keep their policy. It's like
whether you get busted or not. I mean interesting. But
do you have like your robes, like your your Jesus

(03:40):
robes for the wedding ceremony? Yeah? I have Jus. You
look like clergyman. Well, we joked about that you can
buy all that. You got a nice super suit, I
do have. I got a custom made suit. Yeah, but
you couldn't do the you know, like no, I know
there's like a she wear a big pope hat. We

(04:00):
we joked about all that come out with the you
know the steam and it's the incense. Must with the incense. Look,
I'm not trying to be sacrilegious here. I mean it's
like it's bad enough. I think that I'm up there.
I think presiding over somebody's wedding. No, I wanted all that.

(04:23):
I wanted a um uh oh, what the hell? Don't
think a chalice? I wanted a chalice. You get a
big crucifix wear around your neck, and I just I'm
already going to hell. But I think that solidifies it,
and I just don't. I don't. I want there to
be some off chance that on that day that I
can like slip through into heaven. And I think I
think if you, if you, um, if I mock a

(04:45):
religious figure, that that's probably not going to be good
for my prosper or not mocking member of the Universal
Life Church, but that they don't have crosses, and I
don't know what they have, but I don't. I'm not
doing that. Did you get the parking to get parking? Oh?
I bought the deluxe back. I've had it for years.
It doesn't really get you anything. Okay, hospital parking, hospitals.

(05:07):
But I'm not doing that. If you're at a funeral.
I'm not parking in clergy, parking at a hospital where
some priest is trying to get in there to give
last rights to some poor guys. You're allowed to give
last rights. I'm not. You can baptize me right now,
I'm not. See not. Look, I'm okay with the idea
of presiding over this thing because it's non religious, but

(05:29):
you start getting into some religious territory and I'm not.
I'm I don't have any right to do that. That's
why I was very thankful that Rufio and Jess did
not want any religious connotations in there, no ceremony. I
was like, thank God. And I'm a spiritual guy. I
was raised Catholic. I still adhere to some of those principles.
But I also don't go to church. My sister doesn't either,

(05:49):
and so it would it would sort of be silly,
I think, and neither does artists formerly known as death metal,
So it would be silly I think to sort of
like essentially hire a priest or a minister or somebody,
because we don't really there's not one of the it's
close to our family, so we would essentially be hiring
some stranger more than likely to do this who doesn't
know them, and so I doesn't make any sense. So
I'm okay with that. You should at the very end,

(06:11):
you know where it's like by the power invested in
me in the butt, you should say, by the power
investor in me in the church of Satan. They just
see what everybody does. Like, yeah, probably probably won't. I
don't feel like my sister's wedding some time to kind
of freestyle, you know, I feel like that might be
the time. Dude, is it an outdoor ceremony? I just
talked for ten minutes about a tenth. Oh it's an

(06:36):
indoor ceremony, and but we're worried about a time he
was here for that. You should be listening to every moment. Sorry, no,
it's outdoors. Yeah, and my mom is concerned because involved no,
no ten extra. I don't think it costs any of
You should skydive in. Oh yeah, that's been done. Just

(06:57):
put a big target, like you know, on the grass
and you and like one of the prying elvis is
the groom did that I think last year two years
ago in a viral video, he's sky dove into his Now,
how about if he goes splat right in front of
his bride to be What did that tell you? Was
it meant to be? Yeah? Come down the aisle. You
should crip walk down the aisle. That'd be cool. Yeah. Yeah, No,

(07:19):
do you get your own song? Or do you are you? Yeah?
You said like you're a baseball player going to the mouth.
I want to make this knock you out. I want
to make this as little about me as possible. I
don't think you understand it. I don't really. It's not
that I don't want to do it for them. I
don't really want to do it because T shirts like
you're at an event, because the problem is, it's not

(07:40):
like I'm Fred the stockbroker. I'm gonna get a T shirt. Gun, Yeah,
fire into the crow. I'm gone. There's some sister and
death metal trivia and you win a T shirt? Is
your head shot in like the uh the booklet, you
know the thing they get when the program. I don't
think it's programs head shot. I didn't have a head shot.

(08:06):
Did you have a program? Yeah? A program at your wedding. Yeah,
everybody has programs. Yeah really yeah. The ceremony like it's
like a list of things that are going to happen
in the ceremony. You know this verson is going to
do that. I don't think we're doing that a run
of show. I don't think we're doing it because there
aren't speakers. No, But like I mean, they have they
have like a wedding party. So they're going to list

(08:26):
the wedding party. If it's in like if it's in
a church, they normally have a program, Like the church
will provide a program, you know. I mean I had
a hotel wedding program. Who was in the bridal party?
You know what I'm saying, I don't know. He's your list? Fred,
be like you know they are. When you go to
a random wedding, you get a list of all the
bridesmaids and be like, okay, I know most of the

(08:49):
Are you gonna announce the wedding party when they come now?
Absolutely No, that was aggressive. My ears hurt. Now, No,
none of that stuff. It'll be It'll be great, can't wait.
I just don't think that people can separate the radio

(09:10):
guy that everybody knows that I am from, from the
brother doing the deal. You know what I'm saying, Like,
just why you have to make it like very personal
and heart. That's not That's not my point. My point
is like, I don't no matter what I say, I
feel like there's an expectation that I'm going to entertain
in this thing as opposed to it. It's very sentimental.

(09:30):
I'm not. I'm not. It's not walka walk. I'm not
doing material up there. You can do bols. You don't
make a couple of crack a couple of cute jokes
or get out of your head light. It's all good.
I wouldn't go do deaf comedy jam. I'm like, oh
no no, but let me tear up the script. Then
heya from the audience. All I banged brides made number three?

(09:53):
Remember that? Oh damn ye. I shouldn't have said that.
Oh man, I'm Steve. You know he's not given a gift.
You're still cheating on your wife. You know it drives
me crazy? Is my wife? Please? So I was on

(10:17):
my way over here to dog walks into the bar.
Have you guys heard the one about the seeing so
these two guys, Oh man, I don't know, it'll be great.
I'm excited for you. There's a little scandal though, and uh,

(10:38):
the scandal is that I have my two closest friends
in Arizona. Um, they're both married, and one couple is
invited to the wedding and the other couple is not.
And I think it was sort of revealed, um during
this this trip inadvertently because my one jackass friend said

(11:00):
something out loud and didn't mean to in front of
the other one about the wedding. And I think maybe
that's set in and I think maybe some feelings have
been hurt. I don't know this for a fact, but
here's the thing that these guys got to remember is
that it's not First of all, it's not my wedding.
Second of all, it's a very small wedding. It's not
like we're inviting four hundred people and these people didn't

(11:22):
get invited. I mean, I think there's ninety people total
at this event. And so if you think about all
of her friends, all my parents family, I mean, I
basically two people who are friends with me are attending.
You know what I'm saying, Like, it wasn't like a
whole bunch of folks that I know aside from my
sister are coming. But the thing about of the two

(11:45):
the ones who are coming, they interact with my sister
on a regular basis. They call her, they talk to
each other, They come over to the house, and my
sisters in town, they have meals with us. When my
one friend is in Dallas, he calls her, they go
to dinner. So he's an active participant in her life.
The other friend is not. And and so it's not

(12:06):
really surprising to me that she would say, well, if
there's only room for two, then it's these two and
not these two. But I don't know if they're I
don't know if he sees it that way. Well, who
cares what he sees that? The guy that he's my friend,
of course, but I mean, like he he doesn't have
like there. You can't be offended if you don't get
invited to a wedding. Like weddings are so personal. There's
a lot of money involved, it's expensive to have people.

(12:28):
If you don't make the cut, you can't take that personal. Well,
I think you can, because I think what it says
is I think he now, maybe he should be a
better friend. He could potentially weigh that or or put
into perspective what he where he is. Maybe he thought
he was a little higher in the in the hierarchy
of our family than he now he knows is where
he is. I thank you would have like the weddings

(12:50):
in like two weeks. No, he knows, he knows, and
again like I don't. It's not a it's not personal.
It's not like there's only so much room. And this
makes sense for these reasons, the reasons that don't exist
any other relationship. So that's that it's very cut and
dry to me. But I suppose if one of my
closest friend's siblings were getting married and I wasn't invited,

(13:14):
that might speak to me and I might have my feelings.
I wouldn't expect that. You wouldn't expect to be invited
to your best friend's siblings wedding. No, who you know? No,
I wouldn't expect it. No, But if it came down,
I mean if i'd be I'd be upset if I
wasn't invited to my best friend's wedding. Wow, but they're sibling. No, yeah,

(13:35):
but you gotta remember like nothing that they don't have
They don't. It's not as if they have no contact.
I mean, he's been around for twenty years. They just
don't have as close of contact. It's a small wedding though,
you know, because this is all very logical to us,
because well, but I don't know. I guess I would
think wow, uh, you know, and I feel bad, but
I don't want to bring it up. I don't want

(13:56):
to sit down and have a conversation with it because
if I'm wrong, and then I've I've now opened Pandora's box,
but I've now if he doesn't really care, but I
don't say anything. I don't know that he has the
perspective to know that the other friend is has more
exposure and he's more active, and that's really what it
came down to. Um, I don't know that. I think

(14:17):
he maybe sees him as an equal to the other guy,
and so it's like, well, why him and not me?
But that has nothing to do it, Like that's it
has nothing to do with me, your sister. You don't
owe him an explanation, so you don't. But I feel
bad because you shouldn't, because I love the guy and
I don't want I don't want him to see it
any other way than what it is. But tell me

(14:38):
he should be a better friend. Well, I don't think
that's I don't know if that's the way to hate it.
The reason you're not on the list. Hey dude, you
didn't make the cut. Let me tell you why. Just remember,
when you're not pulling your just remember to invite him
to your wedding. Yeah, that's that's the thing that matters.
There's not going to be a wedding. First of all,
there's not going to be a wedding. And second of all,
if there's a marriage, there won't be it. No, I'm
not doing after all this that I've seen over the

(14:59):
lost year, not doing it. It's so much fun, it's
a racket. It's worth it. Though, it's so much fun,
it's worth it. No, No, like the best party you'll
ever throw that in your life. That the tens of
thousands of dollars that are being spent on this thing.
I can we can do something way cooler that's more
impactful to our relationship, to the two of us than

(15:20):
to have about us. Well, I'll have a party. You
have a party that you guys will all love. You'll
have a lot more fun at this party than you
would at some dinner with chicken. Right, You'll have a
lot more fun at that thing, and it will cost
me a lot less. Like grown team. Get fine, all right, fine,
please take the odd times we have to hear waiting

(15:41):
for a start. I'll tell you what between between request
Bruce horns be performing at the wedding and girl to
get back together. Between those live performances, the ox coord
is yours all the tables. If he performs live, Kleen
will be like you stole that from Tupac's gonna say,

(16:03):
I haven't gonna heckle him. How could you do that? Hey?
What are you doing? Man? How dare you bite Tupac? Like?
I have been known to scream with the band to
play a song or two, well specifically Bobby Schmirda the
last one you said they went with a DJ, Right,

(16:23):
they have a DJ. Oh that's good, that'll be fine.
I think i'd go get like a I don't know,
like a like an amazing cover band, like or maybe
an obnoxious cover band. Same A cover band sucks at
a wedding. I went to one where they had a
Bruce Springsteen cover band. Oh no, no, no, no, I
don't think it was. It wasn't. I don't mean one.

(16:43):
I'm talking about a cover band that like kills everything,
kills at everything. I don't know a band. Who else
you get it? Their original song? It's like Jay, here's
here's Jimmy Purple Dinosaurs with their new albums. Your death
metal boyfriend to do your Jesus. He's out, he's out
of the business. Oh, that's too bad. He retired. That's

(17:04):
too bad. As you remember, you know, I made fun
of him a little bit, and then people started calling
and saying that he was extremely legitimate in the death
metal community. So I don't I don't knock him anymore
because just because I can't hear it doesn't mean that
he wasn't good at It was like Harry Styles of
the death metal I think he was. You're sitting here
complete with those bell bottom pants and everything. Man, he
was darn righty did he had a record deal? I've

(17:28):
never had a record deal, had a record deal? What
was he was? He was he like the bass player? Uh?
He was? Anybody can't get a record deal? Dejan erotic
as a record deal. That's messed up. I'm kidding. Is
extremely talented, he's extremely head assad as anything. That's the

(17:50):
song you should come down the aisle too. Yeah, I
can't believe he didn't use that cover art that you
made that's a song. You should go down the island.
Believable as sexy that guy? Yeah, think of the guy's name. Yeah,
Diamond Dan. You know what? You know what? You just

(18:10):
wait if I get married all of a sudden, guy
comes out with his Madonna headset on. Perhaps somebody's sexy
to I love it. I'll pay that guy and somebody
else just whatever, Okay, Daddy warbock, Oh yeah, you got
it like that? How much you could Diamond Dad possibly
cost whatever money bag a lot? Chill out for him

(18:31):
not to play his I bet you could get Florida
for cheaper than DJ Diamond Dave Florida cousin, poss him
up on the shoulders. My mom would freak out. My
mom would be so excited about that. Would come all
my contemporaries would be like, you fucking lame. My mom

(18:53):
would be like, Loo, loo, Yes, the whole club is
looking at her. What's the other one? Low? And uh
he's got you sense? Yeah, and welcome to my house.

(19:15):
He's one of the greatest rappers of all time. He's busy.
He's busy that day. I already know I don't have
anybody to marry Butody. But he's busy that day. I
already about it. All right, Well, another life problem solved.
It goes two pocket no DJ Diamond, Dave Rappers. Well

(19:37):
he can wrap. He sings along with the music to him.
I heard him saying, I work out. Yeah, dude, Yeah
he did that. He can do that. Yeah, I did hear.
It's amazing. I hope he's available that day anyway. All right, well,
I'm not gonna say anything to my friend. Um, I'm
not gonna wear a robe at the wedding. I am

(19:58):
going to use the steam machine. Yeah, please wear the
pope hat and I'm gonna wear the pope hat with
my chalice. You come in with the little popmobile, a
little car. You should bring out your own Eucharistan, you
know Parisian anything. I'm not going to communion anything. What
are you about the crackers? The crackers are nothing. Those

(20:20):
are called hosts. There will be none of that from
the guy that said steam, from the same guy that said,
are you gonna bless people with steam? Steam? And the crackers?
And that's what's coming out. No, it's it's a sense
sense steam smoke. You got to get water. I think

(20:43):
I think her and his friends would like it if
I it was weed and I was, Yeah, I think
everybody would like that. Yeah, it's legal. Is it legal?
I don't think get it in Arizona. I don't know.
I would be surprised. Arizona seems a little bit more conservative. No,
it's not medically legal. No it's not. But you know
he's he's legal legal over here. Not John McCain, you

(21:05):
don't know anything about Arizona. You're right, alright, P. It's
not alright, P. John McCain, all right, I'm Megan. What
was her sisters? Didn't you go to high school? And
I went to high school with some of his kids.
He had a lot of kids, Megan, Uh, Megan was
there at that time? Uh? Is there a Chris? Maybe
I can't remember. We weren't obviously close, but yeah, he
would show Joy bar um Joy. I went to high

(21:28):
school with Joy Bayar. Yeah, here's a real hole that
we called her easy Joe Joe blow j Megan nineteen

(21:55):
fifth year. Whenever that happened, Joy Bayar went tool nineteen
sixty I blow hard with glasses and her hair. Oh
you're taking her to promptly yells jokes. Yeah, if your daughter,

(22:17):
if your daughter worth I got a lot of jokes.
I'm just just time to go. It's okay, it's time
to go. All right, Um, everyone save it. That was
the first Tangent of the year, and I think it
was worth it. We saved up all our best material
couple weeks. Not the show, No, not the show. And
then I'm gonna get a message from Rufio in fifteen
minutes that this thing was not even recording. Guys. Sorry,

(22:38):
we were just warming up for the next one. I
guess we're ready for tomorrow. A welcome to the Tangent
in twenty twenty, everyone,