August 17, 2023 • 35 mins
Attention, wine-lovers! It looks like we've got to break some bad news to one of our favorite connoisseurs: Shmitty. She's facing a dilemma and might have to give up her beloved glass of wine. Will she make the unthinkable decision? Join us to find out! WELCOME TO BUNS & BANTER - WE’RE GLAD YOU’RE HERE! xo Lauren & Aly
Follow Lauren and Aly on social media at: @shmitinthemitt and @alymaconair
Follow Lauren and Aly on social media at: @shmitinthemitt and @alymaconair
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
Welcome to Buns and Banter, apodcast by work Busties for work Busties.
Hey, I'm Lauren and I'm Alie. We're both morning show hosts for iHeartMedia.
We're both millennials, and we're bothtrying to figure out how to build
the lives we dream about, dating, marriage, career, career and being
a mom. How to get througha week without crying. Welcome to Buns
(00:26):
and Banter. We're glad you're here. Yay. There's those there's those smiles
that seem so natural and yet arenot. Hi. Hi. This one's
for Alan today. By the way, our friend Alan has been so wonderful.
(00:46):
He's such an he's such a solidhype guy. I believe he's local.
No, he's not all California.Oh shoe Alan, Hello, Allan
flays guard. Yeah talking about holdon, we're we are like not in
frame here. It's because, okay, yeah, real quick, somebody busted
into our studio space and moved ourchairs and stuff around. My head still
cut off. Why do I haveto be so tall because you are you're
(01:08):
a model to look like a model. It just keeps I thought I'd get
away with white pants today and nowI feel like I look like the step
puff marshmallow man, like shoved inhere like a sausage. Feels real good.
What you look great? I loveyour outfit to know, hush,
you're so kind. You know it'sa personal thing. But Alan's like,
(01:29):
okay, maybe that'll be better.If not, I'll just have to crouch.
Okay, perfect. But he's beenbegging and begging. He's like,
when are you guys doing another podcast? I know it's been a really busy
summer and we've tried so hard tokeep it weakly, but it's just been
impossible in some instances. Yeah,this is for you today, Alan,
Yes, thank you for keeping uson task. And we've we've got some
admittedly in the can because we've justwe've we have a couple in the bank,
(01:53):
so there should be some coming outto the point. But yeah,
okay, yea, So Alan,this is for you. How are you?
How are we feeling? You knowwhere I posted that's just about where
I am, just all over theplace. I posted just like a funny
(02:14):
TikTok a while back, was justlike I am this close, this close
to quitting my job and starting andonly fans who mixed reactions. I didn't
know how to feel about that.Really. Yeah, some people were great.
I liked it. I was like, heart one hundred percent support.
The responses that I really loved wereone of my followers, Brandon. He
(02:38):
was like, honestly, I wouldn'tbe able to look at it, but
I support it. Oh. Iwas like, yes, we're asking for
Some people were like, yes,get your money. I don't know why
you're not like we will support you. We will like throw money at you.
And then other people were like,oh my god, no. Like
one guy was like, I'm notgoing to pay for nudity and I was
(02:59):
like what, I don't know thatI told you what it is yet and
I don't think I would be nude. I didn't say I was going to
be nude, which and then oneguy was like, no, don't do
it. Only huge celebrities are makingmoney on there anymore. And I was
like, oh, only fans,expert or right, how do you know
(03:22):
that keep diving into some of thecontents. I guess I I'm not only
fans, So I don't know isthat is that like what happens there?
Because I just thought it was likeyou put content online and people pay for
it. I know that there isnudity on there, like, but that's
like America. That's every social mediasite these days. Yes, right,
(03:44):
yes, yeah, So anyways,keep an eye out. Allie Mack might
have an only fan soon. I'min. And if you are a boss
or supervisor or co worker, youplease mind your business, mind your own
baswax. Oh my gosh, ohyou. I've been so ready to deep
(04:05):
dive this with you because I hadwhat I think was a very pivotal realization.
Okay, I'm ready. You knowhow much I love wine. I
talk about it a lot. Yeah, I think I have to cut it
out of my diet. No,what it's really gotten? So are you
(04:27):
getting hangovers now? I mean hereand there? I mean wine has always
been the worst kind of hangover tome. I think a lot of people
have that. It's like beer liquor. I never really have just the kind
of headache that one too many glassesof wine. I'll give you right,
you're always that one final glass.It's like, didn't need that. Now,
my body's not happy. It's theanxiety and I've had it in the
(04:51):
past. It is and I've hadit in the past. It's like I
can talk my way out of it. I'm like, it's the anxiety.
What are you doing? You know, just pump the brakes. And I
don't think by any means, thisconversation is an uncomfortable one, Like I
have a problem. I just reallyenjoy a glass of wine. Yea,
but even a glass of wine nowis giving me really awful dreams. So
(05:15):
like, I have your anxious becauseI'm so anxious about things, and even
things I didn't realize I was thinkingabout are just creeping out of my subconscious
to the surface and it's leading tohorrible sleep. Like I had two different
girls nights last week, which issuper rare. We went and saw the
Barbie movie Nice, and we hadsome links. I always have wine with
these girls. And then the nextnight I went over to my friend's place
(05:38):
our kids had like a little movienight, and she was like, do
you want a glass of wine?Both nights, horrendous dreams about work,
relationships, my future finances, likepaying, paying, ping, every possible
stressful thing that you would even thinkfor a moment about was just like seeping
into and I didn't sleep. Iwas a total Zobie both days. And
(06:00):
I'm like, well, maybe I'mjust stressed out. Maybe I'm having a
hard time, like dealing with acouple of things. When I looked at
it, I'm like, every time, the common denominator is that's delicious,
pinot gradio or talk me out ofit. I am gonna try. Or
(06:20):
is it just that the August bluesare a real thing? I know that
I'm feeling a little depressy. Yeah, we're like a couple of days into
August. But for the last twoweeks, I feel like mid to end
July, I was riding a high. I was feeling good, feeling fresh,
(06:42):
feeling free. And then the lastweek of July hit and this week
and I'm sad. Yeah, I'mjust sad. I've got hard I've got
no energy. I just want tosleep, And I'm just like, what's
the point of it all? Ohmy god? So is it the wine
or is it just that we're stressedout? Summer is ending and this is
(07:05):
a stressful time because now, likeI know, your vacation time has really
all kind of been now, likeyou have so much during the summer,
we have to use it in thenext couple of weeks, and you're like,
oh, I need to make summermemories. I need to make core
memories. I need to make sureI'm having the time of my life.
Summer is only three months and youonly have like eighty summers in your life,
(07:26):
and I know that's I'm telling you. I will absolutely plane crash every
one of our happy convosts today becauselike, my kids are back in school
in three weeks. Yeah, andI'm just thinking, like, where did
it go? Did I do itright? Did I give them anything fun?
The kids going back to school,that's not like a relief, Like
you're not like I get some timeback. Yes, but I'm in the
(07:49):
middle of the shopping part right now. Okay, Yeah, that's really stressed,
which is stressful. The school listshave just dropped. This is Will's
first year with a uniform, soI'm trying to like traverse the uniform journey
and what needs to be logoed orembroidered what he can wear. So I
think once all that's past, I'llfeel really excited for him and Sophia to
(08:09):
be going. But right now,it's like, oh my god, did
did I have a good summer?Yeah? And I can see like the
August blues are a psychological clinical thing. I just read a whole article about
that. Back to your anxiety,though, what specifically is it? Is
it? What did I like?You're not it's like money in future?
(08:31):
Okay, I'm not making enough tosurvive despite how hard I feel I work,
and oh like I'm thirty six andI feel like I'm going nowhere.
So you're having You're having the wineand then you're having these like spirals spirals.
So it's not like you're hanging outwith your friends and then you wake
up the next morning and you're like, what did I say? Did I
(08:54):
offend someone? No? Okay,because I've had that in the past.
Yeah, this is and it's beena very different It's been like a change
in anxiety because I used to dothat like you were a total shit show?
What happened? Right, even ifyou weren't. This is more like
you are a dumpster of a humanand doing nothing. I don't know if
(09:16):
that's better, but it's like,so I don't want to say no to
whine because I love it so much. I've started to like cut it with
club soda. Yeah, and Ithink that's maybe like a little bit of
a help. But it's like we'regetting into the cold months. If I
cannot have a nice glass of redon a December night, yeah, what
is the point of living? Okay, because I was also going to see
(09:39):
if we could just switch colors ofwine. Yeah, I'm mostly a white
I know, and yeah, likea rose, I do. I'm a
red girly and you don't get this. I'm a red girly. No,
of course I do. But Idon't need alcohol to send me into a
full questioning every decision I've ever madein my life spiral. I could just
(10:00):
be tired and do that. Somaybe I need to switch colors. Well,
I was so devastated to have thisconversation with my own self. I'm
like, what are you doing?Yeah? I do feel like it my
like mental health, little fun timescreep up. Yeah, I do feel
like the thing that I should dois like cut out alcohol and cut out
(10:22):
really all substances. I usually cutout alcohol, but I don't cut out.
Hey, we're coping the best wecan. It's legal, beautiful,
Everything everything I do is legal,and that's all that matters, and that's
all you need to know. I'mgonna switch colors, That's what I'm gonna
do. Yeah, just I startedreading a lot again. We could just
(10:48):
sounds like I would miss a lotof my five am shot. I'd love
to cut it. I know youare such a badass. I'm a vodka
girl. I've never the last timeI had tequila. Oh my god.
It was like three weekends ago.I was up in the up and which
is a weird thing to say,because usually it's just bush light up there.
(11:11):
Yeah. We went to this reallycute place called the Cozy. If
you've ever been to I think it'sin Barbow. You find yourself up there.
It's right on the I want tosay Saint Mary's River, Okay,
but geography is not my forte.Anyway, whenever one of the freighters goes
to or from the locks, ithas to sail by this and they call
a ship shot. So they ringthe bell when you see a freighter,
(11:33):
and everybody in the restaurant is offereda ship shot. And so I was
there with like all of Chris's familyand they rang the bell. It was
like, you know, eleven o'clockin the morning, and I was like,
hell, yeah, I went inRome and nobody else got one.
So he ore cute waiter brings thisthing and I'm like, what is it.
He's like, I'm not really sure. We usually just pour whatever we
have back in there. And itwas some fiery tequila not normally. I
(11:58):
was like, oh, that wouldsink my ship in a second. Yeah,
And I was like, oh,yeah, it would be so proud.
Yeah, well, listen, Idon't like warm, fiery tequila,
but I do like chilled shots offitless. I didn't even have a line.
I just right into my system.But no horrific dreams that night.
(12:20):
Yeah. Yeah, So I've beenhaving nightmares too. Oh god, really
about what? Like? Same things? Last night? Last night I had
a nightmare that like someone like oneof my family members had like kidnapped a
(12:41):
famous person and they like didn't knowwhat to do, and they showed up
at my house and they were likehelp me and I was like no,
and then the famous person like escapedand then for some reason we thought the
famous person was going to come backand murder us. Oh my god.
So yeah, really cool one towake up too. That's an intense dream.
(13:01):
Yeah. And the night before Ihad a dream that I had reconnected
with two girls that I went tohigh school with, and one of them
I got we like had a coupleof drinks and like we're just talking about
like why we lost touch and blahblah blah whatever. And then they both
like turned on me and it waslike a really weird they just like they
(13:22):
weren't maybe not a nightmare for allpeople. I wasn't like being chased down
the street, but it was thosewere nightmares for me. You had me
or reconnected with someone from high school. I was like, so okay,
really quick, because we tend tobe zodiac girlies. Yeah, I feel
like it's the beginning of a newmonth. Yeah, August has just started,
so maybe this is a very veryastrologically active time right now, the
(13:46):
first week of August. I feellike we need to look into our monthly
our monthly horoscope. Oh yeah,that would be smart, right, Yeah.
Oh man, we got a lotof we got bull moons this month
too. Yeah, remember we gotthose big old All right, let's see,
I'm I'm on my goog because Iusually have this book marked. Oh
(14:09):
no, where did it go?So? Lauren is an aries I am,
which is a fire sign. Yeah, I'm a Libra, which I
can never remember if I'm an airsign or a water sign. I think
I'm an air sign. I thinkyou are because remember we got along like
right? Yeah? Okay, Soin true Leo season fashion, yeah,
August is going to start out witha bang because we had our full moon,
(14:31):
the sun traveling through larger than lifeLeo and the moon moving through collectively
conscious Aquarius. You're asked to reflecton your sense of belonging and individuality.
I've been a lot of those thoughts, so you are right on, right
on time. Hello. This maybring an important realization about your social circle
(14:52):
or a turning point in your selfexpression. Mars in Virgo gently links up
with Jupiter and tourists, bringing someextra modi zation. Inspired action can lead
to growth, luck and progress thismonth. Okay, all right, Oh
we might learn some disheartening information thismonth. Who is going to bestray you?
(15:13):
But someone in your social circle saysyou might simply need to review and
readjust your plans. This is forall of us. This is a collective
like August for the signs. Okay, so it says though honestly, after
the sixth it's an abundant and optimisticatmosphere for all involved. But you're warning
(15:35):
this month it's easy to over commitor stretch the truth. Well, tell
us something we don't know. We'veovercommitted for like nine years. We're so
good at it. Yeah, oneof our strengths for sure. It's just
supposed to be a very good timeto manifest wealth. I just saw TikTok
about that I could do. Icould use I could use some wealth.
(15:58):
But we talked about manifesting. Istill don't think I'm doing it right.
It's tough, you know, it'stough. You have to see you have
to see yourself doing something with thewealth. Yeah, Like you just have
to think about how you would feeland what it would be. Do you
ever think about like the person you'llbecome like every day, like who you'll
(16:22):
be at thirty five, or likewho you'll be at forty fire? Thank
you? It's like already passed there, or like I'm thinking who I want
to be at thirty five, whoI want to be at forty Who I
want to be at forty five,who I will be at fifty And manifesting
I feel like it is just puttingyourself in that person's shoes, as if
you're already there and just showing upas that person. Oh you know,
(16:48):
that's very like think they're on point. I like that, think about who
you want to be, think aboutwho you're going to be, and then
just start showing up as that personand that's manifesting really so like for you,
you are a mom of to Likeat forty, I just want to
live in a house that has kidsaround and can provide experiences to my children.
(17:15):
Yeah, which I think tends tocenter around money, but money to
do those things. It blows mymind that you don't think that you're already
that woman. You are that woman. I don't think so. Oh my
gosh, you're like I appreciate that. Wow on my in my circle or
atmosphere, you are the mom thatgives her kids all of the experiences you
(17:38):
just you within the last week alone, your kids have been to a splash
pad visiting your parents. You guyswent as a family and did a family
ice cream outing yesterday. You broughtyour daughter to a really bougie pool with
your friends out to my friends Sunday. Yeah, like that's within the last
(18:03):
five days alone. That's like threeexperiences. Like some people don't even get
that in in a month. Well, thank you, all right, see
yourself, Like you're hard on yourself, though I am too. I think
that's I was going to say.I think that's a fair trait to say
from both of us. It's partof us being driven. But I do
like looking ahead at the five yearyou. Yeah, I think it's a
(18:25):
really good idea, right, andtry not to overcommit. God, we're
just giving away so many gems ofwisdom today, so many gems of wisdom.
Thank you, thank you. Likeif we were going to manifest winning
the mega millions one point two fivebillion, which I will admit I had
to look up how much a billionwas, it's one thousand millions. Ah,
(18:52):
oh my god? Does that notblowing? It? Does? I've
never known or thought of it likethat. Neither have I, but I
I and I feel like it isdifficult for us, you know, regular
peasants, the great unwashed, toreally comprehend what any amount of money over
a million, like even comprehending amillion. I can sort of do it
(19:14):
because I'm like, I feel likeI could spend a million fast, like
buy half a million dollar house.It's gone right there. Yeah, yeah,
you know, half of it atleast buy a couple of cars,
right, and then you're you're likeland and all the things that seem like
it's important to have with money,right right, So, but a thousand
millions let make you hate people likeJeff Bezos? Is it absolutely messed up
(19:38):
that I'm like I could spend athousand millions kind of quick though, like
I kind of get white elon,just kind of lights it on fire,
like you my god? Yes,no, but like who would you Who
would you be if you were aone point two five billionaire? I'd be
(20:00):
somebody with like secret entrances to myfancy house. But honestly, honestly,
because I'm a huge believer in karma, as are you, I think we
would both be far more philanthropic thanwe realize. I'm quitting my job oh
hundred percent, so sorry. I'mhiring a chef too. I'm never attempting
to cook again. Yeah. See, I think that passion projects would just
(20:26):
become like my way of life.Yeah, Like I would just want to
I wouldn't want to have my ownstuff though. See. That's where I
think the billionaires go wrong. Theycreate their own companies and they want to
do their own That's too much responsibilityfor me. I don't want that much
responsibility. I just want to floatfrom animal shelter to animal shelter, helping
out, you know, like thoseare the types of things that I want
(20:51):
to do. Yeah. I dowant a house with like an entire backside
that has just windows and overlooks water. Somebody. I want one of those
everywhere, right Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, like different coast, maybe
every continent, like my Aspen,also like my money Carlow, but also
maybe something in Iceland. See Aspenstoo bougie for me. I don't know
(21:14):
if I would like Aspen, butwe'd be secretive. We wouldn't have to
even be with the famous people becausewe'd probably be richer than they are.
Yeah, because I don't want to. I don't want to associate with other
No, I don't want people toknow that I'm rich. Oh no,
no, no, that's the firstThe first thing you do when you win
the Mega millions is you hire alawyer and a financial advisor and don't tell
(21:36):
anyone and immediately cancel your phone number. Yeah, because then you know where
to put it, and your lawyerknows exactly what the legal standing of you
actually having to say who you are, because who was it somebody? I
think that when in Detroit did it, but they put it into a trust.
Trust, so you never knew whothey were. Right, Yeah,
we're ready, mega millions. Wealready know how we would do it.
(21:56):
Alan. It was actually messaging meabout this not too long ago. We
were talking about trusts and how youcan leave the money to your family,
like because it dies with you,like if you take the monthly payments.
Oh I didn't know that. Yeah, if you take the monthly payments,
it dies when you die. Likeit's not transferable. So that's why a
(22:17):
lot of people take like the lumpsup. You know, it's it's much
less money, but you have tolike set up some sort of trust so
that it keeps going into the trust. I don't know, it was explained,
but a problem that I'll figure outwhen I get there. That's one
of those across that bridge when weget to it. Would be happy to
cross that bridge. But you know, you like they have shows about people
(22:40):
who win the lottery and the firstthing they do is buy like a big
gass house, and I just Idon't know. I mean, I would
definitely level up a few different areas, but I quiet luxury, you know,
like I'm never no actual rich.People are rich, and that's exactly
what I think I would want tobe if I won the lottery, is
(23:00):
that you wouldn't be able to tellhow rich. I was like, I'm
not walking out of the house andhead to toe Fendy or product. I'm
still walking out in my Casco pants. Exactly, yes, exactly, Yes,
we'd be such a great billionaire.So humble, nothing but modesty,
Like if anyone you know is consideringthis, we are applying. I don't
(23:25):
know where you sign up, buthere is our verbal agreement, and you
can make the payments out and sendthem to me via my only fans.
We can all make this happen.Either wouldn't even be nudity. We could
like dress you in a hundred dollarsbills in different ways. I think people
would totally subscribe to that. Yeah, okay, I'm dying, okay,
(23:48):
dying to know you had simply mentionedto me in passing in the bathroom about
the bathroom. Okay, I haveknown nothing more. So this is a
thing. I don't do this,but my co host on my morning show
does. And when I heard aboutthis, I was like, you're crazy,
You're crazy. You know when yougo to a public restroom and there
(24:12):
it's the toilets, and when youflush, it's like the stick, the
lead, the lever that sticks outfrom the side. Yeah, and you
use your foot obviously, right,Like that's how you any time if there's
a lever in general, like Iuse my foot. He uses his foot
(24:32):
to flush regular toilets in like hotels. I have done that. No,
I done it. It depends onthe hotel. But there have been some
seedier places I've stayed where I'm like, I don't think my hands should touch
that. And I have. It'shard too, because it's like the lever
(24:53):
against the toilets. You've got tohave like toe action. Yes, but
he does it all the time.Yeah, And I'm bringing it weird to
do right out. So it usedto be that the the remote control or
the clicker the TV remote in ahotel room was the dirtiest thing in there.
Yeah, And now it's actually theflusher. They they've they've reworked the
(25:18):
data and it's actually the flusher onthe toilet, and I'm I'm like,
how is that possible? And thenhe said that he put his foot on
that, and I was like,oh, it's because of you, it's
because of germophobes like you who arewalking around everywhere with your little feet and
(25:38):
then putting them on the toilet,Like that's why it's so disgusting. But
you don't think like, why wouldn'tthey get sprayed down? Well, that's
a whole that's a whole other issue. I mean, you're right, I'm
not. You know, it makesme grossed out to think I stayed at
like a New Orleans hotel and somebodywalking around on Bourbon Street was flushing with
their foot, right, that businesson it, right, But we wash
(26:00):
our hands after we go to thebathroom, right, yes, so we
can touch gross things and then flushthe toilet because we're washing our hands.
I'm not doing that in a publicgrassroom. I'm not grabbing that lever to
do that. Right. Also,at work, we both use our feet.
Well it's a lever, right,If it's a lever, we're gone.
Yeah. I mean I've done itlike maybe twice in a hotel bathroom
(26:22):
all the time. Seems like theydon't ever want to touch a flusher again.
I mean, honestly, it justnever occurred to me to use my
foot on that type of flusher.It takes some serious like yoga flexibility.
I've fallen doing it because it's like, are you okay? I was like,
if she's trying to flush and hein the same reaction, He's like
with your foot, and I waslike, to be fair, man,
(26:45):
I don't even want to take myshoes off in this hotel room, so
no, I'm not touching anything.Yeah, when we were d gens in
college, there were there were somemoments where we were like pukin in public,
Oh sure, bathroom and one ofthem, this one really grosses me
out. And it's not to saythat this place isn't clean, it's just
(27:06):
not something that I would ever wantto do sober or just ever do again.
But like the Griffins game, therewere a few instances where we were
overserved dollar beers and dollar hot dogs. Oh no, And this wasn't me,
but my friend I. We couldn'tfind her, so finally we like
(27:26):
checked all the bathrooms and she wasliterally like laying on the floor in the
stall at a hockey game at thearena here in town. When I think
about that sometimes and I'm like,you couldn't pay me to lay down on
the floor of any arena. Orvenue or concert well, and like sometimes
(27:51):
that stuff happened when we were Wow, and I think about the leather jackets
we used to wear, like thatwas our going out. Yeah, you
wanted to be warm but also lookcute. It was a leather jacket.
Yeah, we weren't washing those leatherjackets. And like the places those leather
jackets have been and touched and Idon't even that's a good point. I
(28:11):
don't even know how you like fabreatheit. And then we were like bringing
them back into our rooms and likehanging them up with our clothes or just
like throwing them on our floors andthrowing them over chairs, or it's just
like so dirty the things. Right, you think about now when you have
a decade plus after college, you'relike, I must have immunity to things
(28:33):
I don't realize. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were done at Rosa
Parks Circle the other day for theice cream challenge, and Sophia, my
two year old, is so obsessedwith that like vapor fountain they have down
there. M mmmmmmmmmm. She climbedright up there to take a look inside,
and her whole front end just slidright over some fresh bird poop.
(28:55):
She got on her hands and hershirt and I was like, you know
what, this was a five dollarstarget by. We are going to go
ahead and just toss that because Iliterally can't even think about trying to watch
that and put it back on yourbody. No. Yeah, no,
there's some things you just have tokiss goodbye. Avian germs are special,
special, so special, they travel, they have all sorts of who could
(29:18):
know. I'm just yep, yeah, yeah, there's a lot of things
you learn about germs with children.It's shocking, and I'm like, you
know, sometimes it is as disgustingas things that happened in college. M
did you see leprosies on their eyes? Short? I mean how I think
(29:40):
that was dat? Know? Offthe earth? They don't know what's that
called leprosy? No, like whenit's taken off I'm not using the right
word. Oh, not extinguished.I was trying to sound smart. It's
okay, it was not taken offthe earth and it's still here. I
knew what you meant because it's bigin Florida, right, not extinct,
(30:03):
But I know what you're talking about. Eradicated, eradicated, thanks everybody,
So it's not it's here again.It's here again, And they're not exactly
sure how it's spreading because you don'talways get it from just being in contact
with a person. Oh, butmaybe you get it from droplets yuck and
(30:32):
like air. Yes, but youdon't always get it that way, Like
you don't always get it from contactwith a person. But also don't don't
be in contact with a person withit. Oh my god, and it
is I want to say it iscurable. Sometimes it takes up to two
years to cure it. Oh thebacteria, because it's like a bacteria.
(30:56):
Is that what it is? Yeah, I know leprosy, and I've never
liked dived into what's at the foundationof it, what causes it. I
should fact check this. I'm justspitting something that I heard on TikTok.
But then it's where most of ourinfo comes from, so I have no
problem with that. It's the newTwitter for me. That's where I get
some of my news. I tried, like, I saw an NBC article
(31:18):
about it, yeah, and Iclicked it, and then just seeing the
picture, I was like, WHOA, I can't I'm not yet ready for
that journey. Yeah, I wasgross. I don't know when I got
ska bees. Remember I do rememberwe had a podcast episode where I talked
about my scabies and I wanted toend myself. That was so embarrassing.
Pleasant you got a call everybody,Hey, I got leprosy. I hope
you weren't too close at dinner lastnight. Yeah, I have open source.
(31:41):
I just a biblical disease. Gotbiblical and it's back. What are
we I think it's time that weneed we we gotta look in the mirror
and we gotta figure out some ofthese things. We can't continue to do
the things that we're doing. Obviously, No, because somebody's not working.
(32:02):
Yeah, that's not a modern diseasethat we're supposed to be dealing with.
Again. No. One of mycore Bible memories in grade school Catholic school
was like Jesus being like, cometo me. Leppers. Yeah that was
thousands of years ago, and theyno, one don't want to get it.
But that was in Florida Surprise Prize. But on the bright side,
(32:24):
you can add it back into theputdowns. Lepper that's rude. Sorry,
I don't know anyways, Actually Ireally do. And they like pull up
a slate and their arms just desperand you're like, oh my god,
what happened? Were you not washingyour hands? How does this get brack
(32:44):
get away from me? Speaking ofbeing those philanthropic billionaires that we would be.
I'm getting one of those visor shieldsif I hit the lottery, I'm
getting one of those full I wanta full sit like what you see with
the little tube sticking out the back, like in the Andromeda Strain. You've
ever seen that or read that book? I just can't. It's like everything
(33:07):
around you. I'm becoming more andmore of a germophobe hypochondriac every day.
Yeah, I'm like, what's gonnatake me? I swallowed my spit wrong
the other day and I choked sobad. I was like, this is
it? This is how I go. I'm home alone with my kids,
are going to the call nine oneone because I don't know how to eat
food? Right. That is alegitimate fear of mine living alone, is
that I'll choke or fall down mystairs or just simply perish and my dog
(33:32):
will eat me or simply perish.Yeah, and I won't be able to
like I should. I'm only thirtyone, but I feel like life alert
should really be marketed towards a wideage group. Yes, you know,
I would proudly work make it intoa bracelet or an anklet. I'm fine,
and we can make it cuter.It doesn't mean to I mean we
can. We can keep the veryobvious ones for people who need to know
(33:55):
that, but for the rest ofus, you know, just like a
little mart something to alert. I'malso never ever going to suggest any of
those apocalyptic shows to you, becauseit's like the what will happen in the
event of like nuclear fallout, Andone of the first things is always the
dogs will eat us because they willprefer back to their survival skills and it's
(34:17):
like a nasty look in the future. No, I'll be friend to them.
All. Yeah, you'd be likethe snow white of the dog world.
I think so I would die andI don't have the skill set to
survive. Most thanks, our dogshave to start advocating for us. Oh
god, I'm telling you, there'sone enough likes. It's shocking. It's
(34:38):
like it doesn't in intervals. It'slike twenty four hours later, seven days
later, three months later, it'slike, we don't stand it. I
don't stand a chance they're playing Oppenheimerand the Barbie movie at the Getty drive
in. Oh really, yeah,Oh, I didn't know that Barbenheimer at
the drive in. I would sayBarbie again, and I can't bring I
(35:00):
know And can you imagine a wetblanket over here? Oh my god,
pinot Grigio after a nuclear bomb movie. I would have to take the next
day off work. Okay, Iwouldn't. I would not sleep a wink.
Oh, don't threaten me with agood time
Welcome to Buns and Banter, apodcast by work Busties for work Busties.
Hey, I'm Lauren and I'm Alie. We're both morning show hosts for iHeartMedia.
We're both millennials, and we're bothtrying to figure out how to build
the lives we dream about, dating, marriage, career, career and being
a mom. How to get througha week without crying. Welcome to Buns
(00:26):
and Banter. We're glad you're here. Yay. There's those there's those smiles
that seem so natural and yet arenot. Hi. Hi. This one's
for Alan today. By the way, our friend Alan has been so wonderful.
(00:46):
He's such an he's such a solidhype guy. I believe he's local.
No, he's not all California.Oh shoe Alan, Hello, Allan
flays guard. Yeah talking about holdon, we're we are like not in
frame here. It's because, okay, yeah, real quick, somebody busted
into our studio space and moved ourchairs and stuff around. My head still
cut off. Why do I haveto be so tall because you are you're
(01:08):
a model to look like a model. It just keeps I thought I'd get
away with white pants today and nowI feel like I look like the step
puff marshmallow man, like shoved inhere like a sausage. Feels real good.
What you look great? I loveyour outfit to know, hush,
you're so kind. You know it'sa personal thing. But Alan's like,
(01:29):
okay, maybe that'll be better.If not, I'll just have to crouch.
Okay, perfect. But he's beenbegging and begging. He's like,
when are you guys doing another podcast? I know it's been a really busy
summer and we've tried so hard tokeep it weakly, but it's just been
impossible in some instances. Yeah,this is for you today, Alan,
Yes, thank you for keeping uson task. And we've we've got some
admittedly in the can because we've justwe've we have a couple in the bank,
(01:53):
so there should be some coming outto the point. But yeah,
okay, yea, So Alan,this is for you. How are you?
How are we feeling? You knowwhere I posted that's just about where
I am, just all over theplace. I posted just like a funny
(02:14):
TikTok a while back, was justlike I am this close, this close
to quitting my job and starting andonly fans who mixed reactions. I didn't
know how to feel about that.Really. Yeah, some people were great.
I liked it. I was like, heart one hundred percent support.
The responses that I really loved wereone of my followers, Brandon. He
(02:38):
was like, honestly, I wouldn'tbe able to look at it, but
I support it. Oh. Iwas like, yes, we're asking for
Some people were like, yes,get your money. I don't know why
you're not like we will support you. We will like throw money at you.
And then other people were like,oh my god, no. Like
one guy was like, I'm notgoing to pay for nudity and I was
(02:59):
like what, I don't know thatI told you what it is yet and
I don't think I would be nude. I didn't say I was going to
be nude, which and then oneguy was like, no, don't do
it. Only huge celebrities are makingmoney on there anymore. And I was
like, oh, only fans,expert or right, how do you know
(03:22):
that keep diving into some of thecontents. I guess I I'm not only
fans, So I don't know isthat is that like what happens there?
Because I just thought it was likeyou put content online and people pay for
it. I know that there isnudity on there, like, but that's
like America. That's every social mediasite these days. Yes, right,
(03:44):
yes, yeah, So anyways,keep an eye out. Allie Mack might
have an only fan soon. I'min. And if you are a boss
or supervisor or co worker, youplease mind your business, mind your own
baswax. Oh my gosh, ohyou. I've been so ready to deep
(04:05):
dive this with you because I hadwhat I think was a very pivotal realization.
Okay, I'm ready. You knowhow much I love wine. I
talk about it a lot. Yeah, I think I have to cut it
out of my diet. No,what it's really gotten? So are you
(04:27):
getting hangovers now? I mean hereand there? I mean wine has always
been the worst kind of hangover tome. I think a lot of people
have that. It's like beer liquor. I never really have just the kind
of headache that one too many glassesof wine. I'll give you right,
you're always that one final glass.It's like, didn't need that. Now,
my body's not happy. It's theanxiety and I've had it in the
(04:51):
past. It is and I've hadit in the past. It's like I
can talk my way out of it. I'm like, it's the anxiety.
What are you doing? You know, just pump the brakes. And I
don't think by any means, thisconversation is an uncomfortable one, Like I
have a problem. I just reallyenjoy a glass of wine. Yea,
but even a glass of wine nowis giving me really awful dreams. So
(05:15):
like, I have your anxious becauseI'm so anxious about things, and even
things I didn't realize I was thinkingabout are just creeping out of my subconscious
to the surface and it's leading tohorrible sleep. Like I had two different
girls nights last week, which issuper rare. We went and saw the
Barbie movie Nice, and we hadsome links. I always have wine with
these girls. And then the nextnight I went over to my friend's place
(05:38):
our kids had like a little movienight, and she was like, do
you want a glass of wine?Both nights, horrendous dreams about work,
relationships, my future finances, likepaying, paying, ping, every possible
stressful thing that you would even thinkfor a moment about was just like seeping
into and I didn't sleep. Iwas a total Zobie both days. And
(06:00):
I'm like, well, maybe I'mjust stressed out. Maybe I'm having a
hard time, like dealing with acouple of things. When I looked at
it, I'm like, every time, the common denominator is that's delicious,
pinot gradio or talk me out ofit. I am gonna try. Or
(06:20):
is it just that the August bluesare a real thing? I know that
I'm feeling a little depressy. Yeah, we're like a couple of days into
August. But for the last twoweeks, I feel like mid to end
July, I was riding a high. I was feeling good, feeling fresh,
(06:42):
feeling free. And then the lastweek of July hit and this week
and I'm sad. Yeah, I'mjust sad. I've got hard I've got
no energy. I just want tosleep, And I'm just like, what's
the point of it all? Ohmy god? So is it the wine
or is it just that we're stressedout? Summer is ending and this is
(07:05):
a stressful time because now, likeI know, your vacation time has really
all kind of been now, likeyou have so much during the summer,
we have to use it in thenext couple of weeks, and you're like,
oh, I need to make summermemories. I need to make core
memories. I need to make sureI'm having the time of my life.
Summer is only three months and youonly have like eighty summers in your life,
(07:26):
and I know that's I'm telling you. I will absolutely plane crash every
one of our happy convosts today becauselike, my kids are back in school
in three weeks. Yeah, andI'm just thinking, like, where did
it go? Did I do itright? Did I give them anything fun?
The kids going back to school,that's not like a relief, Like
you're not like I get some timeback. Yes, but I'm in the
(07:49):
middle of the shopping part right now. Okay, Yeah, that's really stressed,
which is stressful. The school listshave just dropped. This is Will's
first year with a uniform, soI'm trying to like traverse the uniform journey
and what needs to be logoed orembroidered what he can wear. So I
think once all that's past, I'llfeel really excited for him and Sophia to
(08:09):
be going. But right now,it's like, oh my god, did
did I have a good summer?Yeah? And I can see like the
August blues are a psychological clinical thing. I just read a whole article about
that. Back to your anxiety,though, what specifically is it? Is
it? What did I like?You're not it's like money in future?
(08:31):
Okay, I'm not making enough tosurvive despite how hard I feel I work,
and oh like I'm thirty six andI feel like I'm going nowhere.
So you're having You're having the wineand then you're having these like spirals spirals.
So it's not like you're hanging outwith your friends and then you wake
up the next morning and you're like, what did I say? Did I
(08:54):
offend someone? No? Okay,because I've had that in the past.
Yeah, this is and it's beena very different It's been like a change
in anxiety because I used to dothat like you were a total shit show?
What happened? Right, even ifyou weren't. This is more like
you are a dumpster of a humanand doing nothing. I don't know if
(09:16):
that's better, but it's like,so I don't want to say no to
whine because I love it so much. I've started to like cut it with
club soda. Yeah, and Ithink that's maybe like a little bit of
a help. But it's like we'regetting into the cold months. If I
cannot have a nice glass of redon a December night, yeah, what
is the point of living? Okay, because I was also going to see
(09:39):
if we could just switch colors ofwine. Yeah, I'm mostly a white
I know, and yeah, likea rose, I do. I'm a
red girly and you don't get this. I'm a red girly. No,
of course I do. But Idon't need alcohol to send me into a
full questioning every decision I've ever madein my life spiral. I could just
(10:00):
be tired and do that. Somaybe I need to switch colors. Well,
I was so devastated to have thisconversation with my own self. I'm
like, what are you doing?Yeah? I do feel like it my
like mental health, little fun timescreep up. Yeah, I do feel
like the thing that I should dois like cut out alcohol and cut out
(10:22):
really all substances. I usually cutout alcohol, but I don't cut out.
Hey, we're coping the best wecan. It's legal, beautiful,
Everything everything I do is legal,and that's all that matters, and that's
all you need to know. I'mgonna switch colors, That's what I'm gonna
do. Yeah, just I startedreading a lot again. We could just
(10:48):
sounds like I would miss a lotof my five am shot. I'd love
to cut it. I know youare such a badass. I'm a vodka
girl. I've never the last timeI had tequila. Oh my god.
It was like three weekends ago.I was up in the up and which
is a weird thing to say,because usually it's just bush light up there.
(11:11):
Yeah. We went to this reallycute place called the Cozy. If
you've ever been to I think it'sin Barbow. You find yourself up there.
It's right on the I want tosay Saint Mary's River, Okay,
but geography is not my forte.Anyway, whenever one of the freighters goes
to or from the locks, ithas to sail by this and they call
a ship shot. So they ringthe bell when you see a freighter,
(11:33):
and everybody in the restaurant is offereda ship shot. And so I was
there with like all of Chris's familyand they rang the bell. It was
like, you know, eleven o'clockin the morning, and I was like,
hell, yeah, I went inRome and nobody else got one.
So he ore cute waiter brings thisthing and I'm like, what is it.
He's like, I'm not really sure. We usually just pour whatever we
have back in there. And itwas some fiery tequila not normally. I
(11:58):
was like, oh, that wouldsink my ship in a second. Yeah,
And I was like, oh,yeah, it would be so proud.
Yeah, well, listen, Idon't like warm, fiery tequila,
but I do like chilled shots offitless. I didn't even have a line.
I just right into my system.But no horrific dreams that night.
(12:20):
Yeah. Yeah, So I've beenhaving nightmares too. Oh god, really
about what? Like? Same things? Last night? Last night I had
a nightmare that like someone like oneof my family members had like kidnapped a
(12:41):
famous person and they like didn't knowwhat to do, and they showed up
at my house and they were likehelp me and I was like no,
and then the famous person like escapedand then for some reason we thought the
famous person was going to come backand murder us. Oh my god.
So yeah, really cool one towake up too. That's an intense dream.
(13:01):
Yeah. And the night before Ihad a dream that I had reconnected
with two girls that I went tohigh school with, and one of them
I got we like had a coupleof drinks and like we're just talking about
like why we lost touch and blahblah blah whatever. And then they both
like turned on me and it waslike a really weird they just like they
(13:22):
weren't maybe not a nightmare for allpeople. I wasn't like being chased down
the street, but it was thosewere nightmares for me. You had me
or reconnected with someone from high school. I was like, so okay,
really quick, because we tend tobe zodiac girlies. Yeah, I feel
like it's the beginning of a newmonth. Yeah, August has just started,
so maybe this is a very veryastrologically active time right now, the
(13:46):
first week of August. I feellike we need to look into our monthly
our monthly horoscope. Oh yeah,that would be smart, right, Yeah.
Oh man, we got a lotof we got bull moons this month
too. Yeah, remember we gotthose big old All right, let's see,
I'm I'm on my goog because Iusually have this book marked. Oh
(14:09):
no, where did it go?So? Lauren is an aries I am,
which is a fire sign. Yeah, I'm a Libra, which I
can never remember if I'm an airsign or a water sign. I think
I'm an air sign. I thinkyou are because remember we got along like
right? Yeah? Okay, Soin true Leo season fashion, yeah,
August is going to start out witha bang because we had our full moon,
(14:31):
the sun traveling through larger than lifeLeo and the moon moving through collectively
conscious Aquarius. You're asked to reflecton your sense of belonging and individuality.
I've been a lot of those thoughts, so you are right on, right
on time. Hello. This maybring an important realization about your social circle
(14:52):
or a turning point in your selfexpression. Mars in Virgo gently links up
with Jupiter and tourists, bringing someextra modi zation. Inspired action can lead
to growth, luck and progress thismonth. Okay, all right, Oh
we might learn some disheartening information thismonth. Who is going to bestray you?
(15:13):
But someone in your social circle saysyou might simply need to review and
readjust your plans. This is forall of us. This is a collective
like August for the signs. Okay, so it says though honestly, after
the sixth it's an abundant and optimisticatmosphere for all involved. But you're warning
(15:35):
this month it's easy to over commitor stretch the truth. Well, tell
us something we don't know. We'veovercommitted for like nine years. We're so
good at it. Yeah, oneof our strengths for sure. It's just
supposed to be a very good timeto manifest wealth. I just saw TikTok
about that I could do. Icould use I could use some wealth.
(15:58):
But we talked about manifesting. Istill don't think I'm doing it right.
It's tough, you know, it'stough. You have to see you have
to see yourself doing something with thewealth. Yeah, Like you just have
to think about how you would feeland what it would be. Do you
ever think about like the person you'llbecome like every day, like who you'll
(16:22):
be at thirty five, or likewho you'll be at forty fire? Thank
you? It's like already passed there, or like I'm thinking who I want
to be at thirty five, whoI want to be at forty Who I
want to be at forty five,who I will be at fifty And manifesting
I feel like it is just puttingyourself in that person's shoes, as if
you're already there and just showing upas that person. Oh you know,
(16:48):
that's very like think they're on point. I like that, think about who
you want to be, think aboutwho you're going to be, and then
just start showing up as that personand that's manifesting really so like for you,
you are a mom of to Likeat forty, I just want to
live in a house that has kidsaround and can provide experiences to my children.
(17:15):
Yeah, which I think tends tocenter around money, but money to
do those things. It blows mymind that you don't think that you're already
that woman. You are that woman. I don't think so. Oh my
gosh, you're like I appreciate that. Wow on my in my circle or
atmosphere, you are the mom thatgives her kids all of the experiences you
(17:38):
just you within the last week alone, your kids have been to a splash
pad visiting your parents. You guyswent as a family and did a family
ice cream outing yesterday. You broughtyour daughter to a really bougie pool with
your friends out to my friends Sunday. Yeah, like that's within the last
(18:03):
five days alone. That's like threeexperiences. Like some people don't even get
that in in a month. Well, thank you, all right, see
yourself, Like you're hard on yourself, though I am too. I think
that's I was going to say.I think that's a fair trait to say
from both of us. It's partof us being driven. But I do
like looking ahead at the five yearyou. Yeah, I think it's a
(18:25):
really good idea, right, andtry not to overcommit. God, we're
just giving away so many gems ofwisdom today, so many gems of wisdom.
Thank you, thank you. Likeif we were going to manifest winning
the mega millions one point two fivebillion, which I will admit I had
to look up how much a billionwas, it's one thousand millions. Ah,
(18:52):
oh my god? Does that notblowing? It? Does? I've
never known or thought of it likethat. Neither have I, but I
I and I feel like it isdifficult for us, you know, regular
peasants, the great unwashed, toreally comprehend what any amount of money over
a million, like even comprehending amillion. I can sort of do it
(19:14):
because I'm like, I feel likeI could spend a million fast, like
buy half a million dollar house.It's gone right there. Yeah, yeah,
you know, half of it atleast buy a couple of cars,
right, and then you're you're likeland and all the things that seem like
it's important to have with money,right right, So, but a thousand
millions let make you hate people likeJeff Bezos? Is it absolutely messed up
(19:38):
that I'm like I could spend athousand millions kind of quick though, like
I kind of get white elon,just kind of lights it on fire,
like you my god? Yes,no, but like who would you Who
would you be if you were aone point two five billionaire? I'd be
(20:00):
somebody with like secret entrances to myfancy house. But honestly, honestly,
because I'm a huge believer in karma, as are you, I think we
would both be far more philanthropic thanwe realize. I'm quitting my job oh
hundred percent, so sorry. I'mhiring a chef too. I'm never attempting
to cook again. Yeah. See, I think that passion projects would just
(20:26):
become like my way of life.Yeah, Like I would just want to
I wouldn't want to have my ownstuff though. See. That's where I
think the billionaires go wrong. Theycreate their own companies and they want to
do their own That's too much responsibilityfor me. I don't want that much
responsibility. I just want to floatfrom animal shelter to animal shelter, helping
out, you know, like thoseare the types of things that I want
(20:51):
to do. Yeah. I dowant a house with like an entire backside
that has just windows and overlooks water. Somebody. I want one of those
everywhere, right Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, like different coast, maybe
every continent, like my Aspen,also like my money Carlow, but also
maybe something in Iceland. See Aspenstoo bougie for me. I don't know
(21:14):
if I would like Aspen, butwe'd be secretive. We wouldn't have to
even be with the famous people becausewe'd probably be richer than they are.
Yeah, because I don't want to. I don't want to associate with other
No, I don't want people toknow that I'm rich. Oh no,
no, no, that's the firstThe first thing you do when you win
the Mega millions is you hire alawyer and a financial advisor and don't tell
(21:36):
anyone and immediately cancel your phone number. Yeah, because then you know where
to put it, and your lawyerknows exactly what the legal standing of you
actually having to say who you are, because who was it somebody? I
think that when in Detroit did it, but they put it into a trust.
Trust, so you never knew whothey were. Right, Yeah,
we're ready, mega millions. Wealready know how we would do it.
(21:56):
Alan. It was actually messaging meabout this not too long ago. We
were talking about trusts and how youcan leave the money to your family,
like because it dies with you,like if you take the monthly payments.
Oh I didn't know that. Yeah, if you take the monthly payments,
it dies when you die. Likeit's not transferable. So that's why a
(22:17):
lot of people take like the lumpsup. You know, it's it's much
less money, but you have tolike set up some sort of trust so
that it keeps going into the trust. I don't know, it was explained,
but a problem that I'll figure outwhen I get there. That's one
of those across that bridge when weget to it. Would be happy to
cross that bridge. But you know, you like they have shows about people
(22:40):
who win the lottery and the firstthing they do is buy like a big
gass house, and I just Idon't know. I mean, I would
definitely level up a few different areas, but I quiet luxury, you know,
like I'm never no actual rich.People are rich, and that's exactly
what I think I would want tobe if I won the lottery, is
(23:00):
that you wouldn't be able to tellhow rich. I was like, I'm
not walking out of the house andhead to toe Fendy or product. I'm
still walking out in my Casco pants. Exactly, yes, exactly, Yes,
we'd be such a great billionaire.So humble, nothing but modesty,
Like if anyone you know is consideringthis, we are applying. I don't
(23:25):
know where you sign up, buthere is our verbal agreement, and you
can make the payments out and sendthem to me via my only fans.
We can all make this happen.Either wouldn't even be nudity. We could
like dress you in a hundred dollarsbills in different ways. I think people
would totally subscribe to that. Yeah, okay, I'm dying, okay,
(23:48):
dying to know you had simply mentionedto me in passing in the bathroom about
the bathroom. Okay, I haveknown nothing more. So this is a
thing. I don't do this,but my co host on my morning show
does. And when I heard aboutthis, I was like, you're crazy,
You're crazy. You know when yougo to a public restroom and there
(24:12):
it's the toilets, and when youflush, it's like the stick, the
lead, the lever that sticks outfrom the side. Yeah, and you
use your foot obviously, right,Like that's how you any time if there's
a lever in general, like Iuse my foot. He uses his foot
(24:32):
to flush regular toilets in like hotels. I have done that. No,
I done it. It depends onthe hotel. But there have been some
seedier places I've stayed where I'm like, I don't think my hands should touch
that. And I have. It'shard too, because it's like the lever
(24:53):
against the toilets. You've got tohave like toe action. Yes, but
he does it all the time.Yeah, And I'm bringing it weird to
do right out. So it usedto be that the the remote control or
the clicker the TV remote in ahotel room was the dirtiest thing in there.
Yeah, And now it's actually theflusher. They they've they've reworked the
(25:18):
data and it's actually the flusher onthe toilet, and I'm I'm like,
how is that possible? And thenhe said that he put his foot on
that, and I was like,oh, it's because of you, it's
because of germophobes like you who arewalking around everywhere with your little feet and
(25:38):
then putting them on the toilet,Like that's why it's so disgusting. But
you don't think like, why wouldn'tthey get sprayed down? Well, that's
a whole that's a whole other issue. I mean, you're right, I'm
not. You know, it makesme grossed out to think I stayed at
like a New Orleans hotel and somebodywalking around on Bourbon Street was flushing with
their foot, right, that businesson it, right, But we wash
(26:00):
our hands after we go to thebathroom, right, yes, so we
can touch gross things and then flushthe toilet because we're washing our hands.
I'm not doing that in a publicgrassroom. I'm not grabbing that lever to
do that. Right. Also,at work, we both use our feet.
Well it's a lever, right,If it's a lever, we're gone.
Yeah. I mean I've done itlike maybe twice in a hotel bathroom
(26:22):
all the time. Seems like theydon't ever want to touch a flusher again.
I mean, honestly, it justnever occurred to me to use my
foot on that type of flusher.It takes some serious like yoga flexibility.
I've fallen doing it because it's like, are you okay? I was like,
if she's trying to flush and hein the same reaction, He's like
with your foot, and I waslike, to be fair, man,
(26:45):
I don't even want to take myshoes off in this hotel room, so
no, I'm not touching anything.Yeah, when we were d gens in
college, there were there were somemoments where we were like pukin in public,
Oh sure, bathroom and one ofthem, this one really grosses me
out. And it's not to saythat this place isn't clean, it's just
(27:06):
not something that I would ever wantto do sober or just ever do again.
But like the Griffins game, therewere a few instances where we were
overserved dollar beers and dollar hot dogs. Oh no, And this wasn't me,
but my friend I. We couldn'tfind her, so finally we like
(27:26):
checked all the bathrooms and she wasliterally like laying on the floor in the
stall at a hockey game at thearena here in town. When I think
about that sometimes and I'm like,you couldn't pay me to lay down on
the floor of any arena. Orvenue or concert well, and like sometimes
(27:51):
that stuff happened when we were Wow, and I think about the leather jackets
we used to wear, like thatwas our going out. Yeah, you
wanted to be warm but also lookcute. It was a leather jacket.
Yeah, we weren't washing those leatherjackets. And like the places those leather
jackets have been and touched and Idon't even that's a good point. I
(28:11):
don't even know how you like fabreatheit. And then we were like bringing
them back into our rooms and likehanging them up with our clothes or just
like throwing them on our floors andthrowing them over chairs, or it's just
like so dirty the things. Right, you think about now when you have
a decade plus after college, you'relike, I must have immunity to things
(28:33):
I don't realize. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were done at Rosa
Parks Circle the other day for theice cream challenge, and Sophia, my
two year old, is so obsessedwith that like vapor fountain they have down
there. M mmmmmmmmmm. She climbedright up there to take a look inside,
and her whole front end just slidright over some fresh bird poop.
(28:55):
She got on her hands and hershirt and I was like, you know
what, this was a five dollarstarget by. We are going to go
ahead and just toss that because Iliterally can't even think about trying to watch
that and put it back on yourbody. No. Yeah, no,
there's some things you just have tokiss goodbye. Avian germs are special,
special, so special, they travel, they have all sorts of who could
(29:18):
know. I'm just yep, yeah, yeah, there's a lot of things
you learn about germs with children.It's shocking, and I'm like, you
know, sometimes it is as disgustingas things that happened in college. M
did you see leprosies on their eyes? Short? I mean how I think
(29:40):
that was dat? Know? Offthe earth? They don't know what's that
called leprosy? No, like whenit's taken off I'm not using the right
word. Oh, not extinguished.I was trying to sound smart. It's
okay, it was not taken offthe earth and it's still here. I
knew what you meant because it's bigin Florida, right, not extinct,
(30:03):
But I know what you're talking about. Eradicated, eradicated, thanks everybody,
So it's not it's here again.It's here again, And they're not exactly
sure how it's spreading because you don'talways get it from just being in contact
with a person. Oh, butmaybe you get it from droplets yuck and
(30:32):
like air. Yes, but youdon't always get it that way, Like
you don't always get it from contactwith a person. But also don't don't
be in contact with a person withit. Oh my god, and it
is I want to say it iscurable. Sometimes it takes up to two
years to cure it. Oh thebacteria, because it's like a bacteria.
(30:56):
Is that what it is? Yeah, I know leprosy, and I've never
liked dived into what's at the foundationof it, what causes it. I
should fact check this. I'm justspitting something that I heard on TikTok.
But then it's where most of ourinfo comes from, so I have no
problem with that. It's the newTwitter for me. That's where I get
some of my news. I tried, like, I saw an NBC article
(31:18):
about it, yeah, and Iclicked it, and then just seeing the
picture, I was like, WHOA, I can't I'm not yet ready for
that journey. Yeah, I wasgross. I don't know when I got
ska bees. Remember I do rememberwe had a podcast episode where I talked
about my scabies and I wanted toend myself. That was so embarrassing.
Pleasant you got a call everybody,Hey, I got leprosy. I hope
you weren't too close at dinner lastnight. Yeah, I have open source.
(31:41):
I just a biblical disease. Gotbiblical and it's back. What are
we I think it's time that weneed we we gotta look in the mirror
and we gotta figure out some ofthese things. We can't continue to do
the things that we're doing. Obviously, No, because somebody's not working.
(32:02):
Yeah, that's not a modern diseasethat we're supposed to be dealing with.
Again. No. One of mycore Bible memories in grade school Catholic school
was like Jesus being like, cometo me. Leppers. Yeah that was
thousands of years ago, and theyno, one don't want to get it.
But that was in Florida Surprise Prize. But on the bright side,
(32:24):
you can add it back into theputdowns. Lepper that's rude. Sorry,
I don't know anyways, Actually Ireally do. And they like pull up
a slate and their arms just desperand you're like, oh my god,
what happened? Were you not washingyour hands? How does this get brack
(32:44):
get away from me? Speaking ofbeing those philanthropic billionaires that we would be.
I'm getting one of those visor shieldsif I hit the lottery, I'm
getting one of those full I wanta full sit like what you see with
the little tube sticking out the back, like in the Andromeda Strain. You've
ever seen that or read that book? I just can't. It's like everything
(33:07):
around you. I'm becoming more andmore of a germophobe hypochondriac every day.
Yeah, I'm like, what's gonnatake me? I swallowed my spit wrong
the other day and I choked sobad. I was like, this is
it? This is how I go. I'm home alone with my kids,
are going to the call nine oneone because I don't know how to eat
food? Right. That is alegitimate fear of mine living alone, is
that I'll choke or fall down mystairs or just simply perish and my dog
(33:32):
will eat me or simply perish.Yeah, and I won't be able to
like I should. I'm only thirtyone, but I feel like life alert
should really be marketed towards a wideage group. Yes, you know,
I would proudly work make it intoa bracelet or an anklet. I'm fine,
and we can make it cuter.It doesn't mean to I mean we
can. We can keep the veryobvious ones for people who need to know
(33:55):
that, but for the rest ofus, you know, just like a
little mart something to alert. I'malso never ever going to suggest any of
those apocalyptic shows to you, becauseit's like the what will happen in the
event of like nuclear fallout, Andone of the first things is always the
dogs will eat us because they willprefer back to their survival skills and it's
(34:17):
like a nasty look in the future. No, I'll be friend to them.
All. Yeah, you'd be likethe snow white of the dog world.
I think so I would die andI don't have the skill set to
survive. Most thanks, our dogshave to start advocating for us. Oh
god, I'm telling you, there'sone enough likes. It's shocking. It's
(34:38):
like it doesn't in intervals. It'slike twenty four hours later, seven days
later, three months later, it'slike, we don't stand it. I
don't stand a chance they're playing Oppenheimerand the Barbie movie at the Getty drive
in. Oh really, yeah,Oh, I didn't know that Barbenheimer at
the drive in. I would sayBarbie again, and I can't bring I
(35:00):
know And can you imagine a wetblanket over here? Oh my god,
pinot Grigio after a nuclear bomb movie. I would have to take the next
day off work. Okay, Iwouldn't. I would not sleep a wink.
Oh, don't threaten me with agood time
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