July 12, 2024 • 29 mins
We're officially over the halfway point of summer and boy is there no sign of relaxation in sight! Aly has an awkward run-in, while Lauren isn't not counting the days until the kids are back in school. Are serene summers a thing of the past?
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Follow Lauren &Aly on social media: @shmitinthemitt and @alymaconair
Stream B&B wherever you get your podcasts!
Follow Lauren &Aly on social media: @shmitinthemitt and @alymaconair
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
Welcome to Buns and Banter, apodcast buy work Busties for work Busties.
Hey, I'm Lauren and I'm Ali. We're both morning show hosts for iHeartMedia.
We're both millennials, and we're bothtrying to figure out how to build
the lives we dream about, dating, marriage, career, career and being
a mom. How to get througha week without crying. Welcome to Buns
(00:26):
and Banter. We're glad you're here. Oh, I feel like I want
to take my shoes off today.Oh down, I want to take my
shoes off today. And man,oh man, man oh man. Okay,
I thought this would be a goodlike midsummer check in. Yeah,
and I feel like we've got alot to discuss or at least event about.
(00:51):
Yep. You know, I justlike I don't understand why things have
to happen veryan full stop, fullstop. I just like, you know,
I love I love golfing, andI love that it's something that Yimy
and I can do together. Yeah, And we've been golfing a lot,
(01:15):
and he likes to golf at likenicer courses like I'm happy at like the
twenty dollars nine hole twilight. Youknow, like I'm I'm good, but
he likes a little bit nicer ofa course. Which at these courses,
if you book a tea time forjust the two of you, they will
pair you with other groups and likeother twosomes. I didn't know that was
(01:40):
a thing. I don't like that. It's the worst part about golf,
and like sometimes it's really really great. Like we played with two guys a
little while ago and they were awesome. They were like so nice and so
chill and like we had a greattime. However, about a week ago,
we I thought we were gonna getaway with it. When we were
(02:02):
teeing off on the first hole wewere trying to get it was like six
o'clock. We were fighting the sunset. Yeah, and like you know,
we were going to try to playeighteen. And this was the day before
fourth of July, so you know, there was like there weren't like too
many people there because everyone's up town, right, So they were like,
oh, we were gonna pair youwith another group, but I don't think
(02:23):
they showed up. So you know, you guys might just be good to
go, and we were like yes, like you can just like go fast
it's just the two of us,Like, it's just a more comfortable situation,
not what happens. So we wetea off. We play the first
hole and the starter the golf courtseguy comes barreling down the first hole.
(02:45):
He's like, they made it.It's a super nice couple, like you
guys will have a class, likeit's like a double date and you guys
like they seem super nice. AndI was like, oh, Mark,
my man. But like you know, okay, whatever, no one wants
to be in this situation. Youknow, we're polite and this is like
(03:07):
a community space whatever. So wewe were instructed to wait for them at
the second tea box, and sowe're waiting there and they pull up and
Jimmy's like already out of the cart, like shaking this guy's hand and like
his This woman walks up to me. She's like, Hi, you know,
how are you blah blah blah.I shit you not, I shit
(03:28):
you not. It's a guy Iwent on several dates with LASSI honest to
god, that is so unkind ofthe universe. The hell, what the
hell, what the hell? Andlike what are the chances? I just
like sat there like what do Ido. Like I wasn't prepared for this,
(03:49):
Like I don't know how to handlethis situation. Like obviously the fail
safe is just like you be nice, you're polite, don't make it awkward
like you just were. Yeah,it's about the situation. But this threw
me. This threw me. Solike Jimmy introduces himself to this guy,
I his girlfriend introduces himself to me, and then it like got to the
(04:12):
point where like I was gonna haveto introduce myself or he was gonna have
to introduce himself, oh yeah tome, And I was like shit,
what do I say? Like,Hey, good to see you. So
he just like extended his hand andhe was like, Hi, nice to
meet you. And I was like, yeah, nice to meet you.
Really, yeah, he just playedit. He did it like that.
(04:34):
Maybe he didn't remember me, You'rememorable. Maybe he didn't remember at Shady.
So like, you know, myheart is going like one hundred and
fifty beats per minute, like Icannot and like it wasn't like it was
a terrible ending. It just likeit didn't work out. We weren't interested
(04:54):
in pursuing. So it's not likeit was some like he didn't do you
dirty. Yeah, he didn't gethe didn't like do me. It wasn't
like a dramatic ending or anything likethat, but I did like want I
just like didn't want to make Jimmyfeel uncomfortable and I didn't want to make
sure them feel uncomfortable. And Ialso didn't want to be like, hey,
so everybody you just saw everyone know. Like I just didn't know what
(05:15):
to do. So I ended uptelling Jimmy and just being like, hey,
just so you know, like Idid go on a couple of dates
with this guy last summer, soyou tell them this. So when you're
out on the course still, yeah, obviously, yeah yeah, oh yeah.
Like we beat off on the secondhole and then like as soon as
we drove away, I was like, hey code blue her. But they
(05:42):
were they. I mean, likethe the girlfriend was like super nice,
except for like there there was thismoment where like the guys were doing whatever
the guys were doing, and likeI was kind of talking to her.
She's so sweet, so cool,so nice. Lives in Chicago, oh
awesome, yeah, And like atone she was like where do you live?
And I was like, I live, you know, just outside of
(06:05):
East Grand Rapids and she was like, oh my god, that's crazy.
That's where he lives. And Iwas like, oh, no, way,
like I had to what you don'tsay? And like I I,
oh, I never even got farenough where I was like over at his
house or he picked me up formy house one time before we like went
(06:27):
on a date or whatever. Butthis would happen to you. Yeah,
And then you know, she waslike, yeah, we've been dating for
like about a year. And Iwas like, oh, oh wait,
that's a tight timeline, like justover a year, just under a year
when you say about a year,But like I didn't, I didn't push
her on it because like I didnot want to know. And Jimmy,
(06:50):
Jimmy was like, wait, whenwhen did you say you guys? And
I'm like trying to do the math, and I'm like, yeah, would
have been like last summer, likejust before we really got into like summer
summer. And he was like,if if he asks how long we've been
dating, I'm gonna tell him twoyears. And I was like, I
support that, please do it,please do it. But like just most
(07:15):
and everyone did a wonderful job.Jid, we did a wonderful job.
I did the best I could.Oh my god, I did the best
I could. I don't think sheknew. I don't think she knew at
all. I mean I would haveI would have brought I would have brought
it up, like when I wasintroducing. I would have been like,
(07:38):
oh, I would have it's greatto see you again, because then I
just feel like it's so weird tobe like, oh, okay, so
we are hiding this, or ifI accident then I'm on edge like myself,
like if I accidentally slip up andmention something, especially if they've been
dating about a year and yeah,like I just like I was like this,
(07:59):
this wasn't the relax golf game Iwas expecting. And it's not like
you like run into them at arestaurant and you're like oh hey, like
no, no, no, You'resaddled with these people for two hours two
hours. Ooh it was wild andI never want to do it again.
Thanks so much for doing that tous, golf course stop. So the
(08:22):
planets aligning on that is almost unheardof. Yeah, it was wild.
It was wild. Have you everrun into an X when you and Chris,
I mean you guys are married solike running into an X when you're
married, I feel like, istotally different than when you've been dating for
six months. The weird the weirdone was last summer. Actually, I
went and did a bunch of hostingat what was the there was the big
(08:46):
Miskigan event on the fourth of July. Yeah, they had this huge like
festival and EDM show, and Iwas out there doing a bunch of stuff.
And at that point, so thatwould have been Chris's and my like
eighth almost eighth year of being married. Yeah, and we'd been together for
a bit before that, but wehad a two year break right when I
(09:07):
started working for iHeart And there wasa guy there that was like Lauren Lauren,
which automatically triggers me a bit becausenobody calls me by my real name
unless they don't have an affiliation herewith me, you know. So I
was like, who could this?Who could this be? And I don't
immediately recognize him, and I'm like, this has to be someone from the
(09:30):
past, yay. And it wasindeed the dude that asked me out at
the laundromat while I was pulling mypanties out at the dryer. Love that
and I was like, oh,so and so, and he's like,
I did. I did. Iwent way back, way back, because
we'd gone on a couple dates.And oh, to be fair, it
(09:52):
might have been me. I don'tknow, like I didn't really I started
seeing another guy after that. Iwas. I was so in Oh,
it's a bet during at two yearstrying to I mean, just you know,
make sure that I was headed inthe right direction. And it would
have been totally fine and not weirdbecause it had been so long. But
then he was weird. And hewas like, God, I can't tell
(10:13):
you how good it is to seeyou. No, and he not.
And he knew lots of things aboutme. He knew about my two kids,
he knew about Chris, he knewthings that I'd been doing. And
I was like, I don't eventhink I'm social media friends with you?
Man? How did this all?And then his girlfriend is standing right next
to him, getting increasingly more uncomfortableand rage filled, and I was like,
(10:37):
all right, man, like it'sit's super great. I've got a
bunch of stagers to do. SoUnfortunately, like I'm gonna be backstage,
I'm walking away, and I seeher turn to him and like smack him
in the chest. It would gotto be that uncomfortable. And I'm just
like, what is it? Shewas beautiful, looked fun and I'm like,
no, no, we don't dothat. I dated you like ten
years ago. You were the greatwhite Buffalo, the great white I don't
(11:01):
think so maybe were Oh god,I didn't feel like where either. Dinner
felt that way and it was toand done. Yeah. Man, it's
weird when that stuff comes back.Oh so never again. She pats her
hair. Ever again. You didit, you know, two hours though,
Like West Michigan, I cannot tellyou the last time I saw like
(11:26):
I ran into an ex like outand about by myself. Yeah you know
what I mean. It feels likewe're getting to be big enough. It
doesn't happen. And then to runit just like such a specific place and
out of all the places in WestMichigan, you had to pick this golf
(11:50):
course at this exact time, Likethere were just there were too many details
that had to just work out exactlybecause like, okay, you're at the
same golf course. There aren't aton of golf courses in West Michigan,
but there are there's enough but thetime like to choose the like choose the
(12:13):
time ten minutes behind us was justnorth of July weekend, north of July
weekend. I was like, whyam I being punished from the universe,
and like it really it wasn't apunishment because like it really wasn't a miserable
situation. It just like it wasn'tmy first choice right of situation. It's
still gonna be somewhat uncomfortable because you'restill like, let's act natural, but
(12:39):
then when you act natural, you'relike, I don't feel like I'm acting
natural. And then I was likeso self conscious about like everything that I
was doing, yeah, because Iwas like I want to be like nice
and friendly, but not too niceand friendly. M h, and like
I don't some mental load, butI don't know if she's clued into the
situation, so I don't want to. Like my ideal situation would have just
(13:03):
been to have been like what arethe chances exist like about it, and
then like we're both with other people, like we're super happy, like obviously
the right events happen and like everythingworked out for nobody can be mad because
nobody planned this right, and likeit just like it could have been just
like so much less awkward, butthere was just like this like lingering awkwardness,
(13:24):
and I was like, I don'tknow what to do to like make
this not awkward. But I alsowanted to be so conscious of like Jimmy
not being uncomfortable, and like itwasn't he was great, and I just
like am so that I'd be nervous, like I can't drink because I'll drink
too much and be like, isanyone else uncomfortable? It's because we've dated.
(13:45):
We I drink great times. Ihad like seventeen high nutes. I
was like every time the car girlscoming around, I was like, over
here, beat me up, Scottiere. And then like I also felt like
I played like shit, which waslike another I don't like playing like shit
in front of everyone, Like Idon't like playing like shit in front of
(14:07):
Jimmy or anyone I've gone on anynumber of dates with or their girlfriend of
questionable timelines. That's terrible. Comeon. She probably she probably meant like
just shy of a year and thatmath works out, but like also maybe
she didn't mean just maybe it didn'twork out, and that would actually explain
(14:31):
a few things. Oh see.Oh, but honestly, like it just
so perfect perfect lead in here.How would you say your midsummer mental health
is doing? You know, nottoo bad, not too bad. I
(14:54):
just want that sounder right, They'renot over good. I don't know what.
My voice keeps going up like that, Like I feel I feel good
right now. But then like Ithink about like the last like month and
a half, and like I've workedevery single weekend and yeah, then I
felt like it was a huge raceto get everything done before the fourth of
(15:16):
July. And then I really puta lot of pressure on that Fourth of
July break because I needed to enjoyenjoy it. I needed the reset,
and like I really really have beenfeeling burned out. And then I just
made some choices like staying up reallylate and like having more drinks than I
should have and not using that timeto reset. Do you do that to
(15:41):
yourself? Sosolutely, I feel theexact same way you, like, rebel
against the healthy choices that you needto make, Like I should go to
bed early, and I should cleanthe house and I should do all of
the things that I know will setme up for success after this break.
But I just can't. I wantto stay up late, I want to
eat like shit, I want todrink, and I want to have a
little fun and let off a littlesteam. And I can't do all of
(16:03):
it. So I gotta pick.There's two things there for me. The
one I feel like the long summerholiday weekends, your Memorial Day, your
Fourth of July, your Labor Day, are like the Friday slash Saturday nights
of the week where you have therevenge bedtime. Yeah. I feel like
I didn't get what feels like anyme time this entire week, and so
(16:26):
like as a mom, I'll putmy kids down and then all of a
sudden, it's two thirty in themorning. I did nothing with my life.
I watched Netflix for six hours.I doom scrolled. I did all
that exactly how holiday weekends go forme. And I've got to get better
about this because I don't think Ido it in any other season. I
put so much massive pressure on summer. Yeah, oh my god, And
(16:48):
so you nailed it. When you'retalking about the fourth of July weekend,
I was like, Okay, we'regonna have people over on the fourth.
It's gonna be great. Then Iworked on Friday, But then I like
jet it out of here packed.My kids went up North insanity back home
on Sunday, which was the worstbecause the traffic was unbelievable. Then you
wake up Monday morning and your body'slike, oh, what the fuck did
(17:11):
we just do? Yeah? Likethat was supposed to be four days of
a nice reset and it was justspent like oop, Hope I'm creating enough
memories, Hope we're having enough fun. Hope this is something I can post
about and be as great as everybodyelse that seems to be having super relaxing
body fun times on the fourth Yeah, and then you are just like,
I have a forty eight hour likeweakness for anything. If I work out,
(17:34):
it's never that I'm store the nextday. It's forty eight hours later
coming home from a holiday weekend.It's not Monday that gets me. It's
that Tuesday where I wake up andmy body's like, you, we've got
to rethink what we're doing here,Like, hey, you can't live on
hot dogs for five days. Havea vegetable drink water? Yeah, but
(17:56):
like, and it's just then you'rejust mad at yourself. Just nobody else's
fault. I did all of thatto myself, and then you get in
this stupid, like depressive spiral andyou're like, don't worry, I'll fix
it on Labor Day weekend the nextsummer break, and like fourth of July,
I'm like, summer's over. Yeah, where did summer go? Like
(18:17):
it was just June and now allof a sudden, like fourth of July,
and now all of a sudden,it's July. What tenth, eleven,
twelve, thirteen, We're into themiddle of July. Over for some
kids, they are back in schoolin like four weeks. Oh, I
know. My kid just asked meabout its Halloween costume the other day.
You're kidding. Now. I waslike, okay, to be fair,
(18:37):
you're like obsessively obsessed with Halloween.But I was like, bro, you've
got like a like a pretty bigthree months, and he just was like,
well, fourth of July is over, so summer's done. I'm like
who for some people, but notnot the stressed out month that needs to
figure out what we're gonna do onHalloween. Hallmark did start Christmas in July.
Oh my god, the Christmas inJuly. Yeah, yeah, it's
(19:00):
coming. I'm already getting the messagesyep, on my on my Christmas station.
I don't know. I was justlike trying to google helpful tips because
I thought, Man, I wonderif there's other people that kind of just
feel that way, that just summerlethargy. Is that? Am I saying
that? Right? Am I usingthat? Yeah? I'm using that the
(19:21):
right way. I think so lethargic. I know whatever, you guys,
my brain is freaking fried. Iknow everyone. Yeah, for some it
all of our brains are fried.But it can be negative effects of summer.
Summer weather can lead to anxiety,aggressiveness, and higher levels of stress
hormones, especially with the heat,reduced motivation, decreased mood. They're like,
(19:42):
it's great to be in the sun. Your vitamin D is like boo.
But then you feel all this pressureto take advantage of the beautiful months
that we have. It was,oh my god, I saw like somebody
post something yesterday and it was calledlike like weather regrets. So when you're
sitting in your house and it's abeautiful day outside and you should definitely go
(20:03):
outside, but you don't really feellike going outside, so you spend the
whole day feeling really shitty. Thatyou never went outside. Yes, I
do that all the time. Ido that all the time, especially when
I come home after work and likeI need a n app oh like,
but what I should do is takethe dog for a walk. But it's
too hot at present to take thedog for a walk, so I'm gonna
have to wait until like six seven. But then at six seven, I'm
(20:23):
like, fuck that, right tomorrow. I told you, like Chaftsmacman got
us a new h back. Yeah, this is the first time I've had
central air and ten plus years.Oh, I've never I have not had
central air since college. Every placeI rented after college did not have it.
So we have had window units eventhrough our first home. So I'm
(20:45):
sending inside and I'm like, yeah, it's beautiful out there, but it's
sixty eight in here, and I'mjust I don't do it. I'm just
a freaking slug on the couch.Amazing. Yeah, I just oh,
I'm sorry. I did get somethings done. I just wrapped up The
Man with a thousand Kids Dot documentaryon Netflix. So that's what I have
to show for that doctor who likewas inseminating his patients with his own sperm.
(21:06):
This is a man from the Netherlandsthat called himself a super donor and
they think conservatively he has fathered possiblythree thousand kids. Oh, you gotta
watch it. It's insane. Itjust it just dropped. That's insane.
So yeah, I guess I havesomething to show for the fact not outside
and join the summer weather. That'sinsane. Yeah, it's really good though.
(21:29):
You know what I watched. Ifell asleep towards the end of it.
But I started watching the Mars Opportunityand Spirit documentary. God no,
so like the robots, Yeah,they need to like explore Mars and they're
so human like and cute and likealmost emotive and like these robots were supposed
(21:49):
to be on Mars for ninety daysand they ended up being there for like
fifteen years. Yeah, and itwas just incredible, and there is Jimmy
and I both agreed that, likethere's a super cute scientist from Ghana and
we were like, they need tomake a separate documentary just about him.
Like we have so many questions.What is it on? I think it's
(22:11):
I love that stuff, Maybe likeHBO or maybe Amazon. I don't know.
I'll have to check and get backto you, but it's giving me
wally vibes. It totally does.It totally does. And like they play
a song every morning to like setthe mood for the day, but also
like wake the robots up. Whatso they choose like Abba and Queen and
(22:36):
like all of these and these peoplethere they have like obviously so much invested
in it because this is like decadesof their careers. They spend like ten
years researching this and then building itand then to see like it actualized and
for these things to land on themoon. I can't remember the exact analogy,
but it was like throwing a golfball off of the Sears Tower and
(23:03):
like having it land in a likegolf hole on the other side of the
world. Oh my god, thatwas getting these from And if there was
like a really good analogy. Yeah, and there was like this window where
because you know, the what isthis help the moon the lunar what circular
radius radius? Yeah, but likethe diameter no, when the rotate not
(23:29):
rotates around the Sun the Earth,I use rotate rotate. I think you're
right, Okay, whatever, Butlike if they if they didn't get it
right the first time, they hadto wait twenty six months to try again.
Oh my god, like shakes werehigh. This sounds fascinating. I
did fall asleep. It was reallylate, and it was after that round
(23:52):
of golf and I was like,forget it. This was after the golf.
You were like, please God putme on Mars. Yes. Yes.
All I had to show for minewas like how often they kept saying
the word sperm And I'm a toddler. I was like, I mean,
I know how babies are made,but this different word. Did this man
(24:15):
get paid for each donation? Isthat why he did this? What was
his Why they think it? Theythink and he actually I didn't even read
it. He apparently like released astatement like yesterday about this. Oh no
way, yes, because this islike shot to the top of the Netflix
chart and so many people are talkingabout it now. There were so he
was going around to like eleven differentbanks just in the Netherlands, and all
(24:42):
of these women, all these momsstarted to put together like wait a minute,
they're finding him in Facebook groups andall these things. He's had like
a ton of different aliases and theythink he had a god complex because then
it's so insane and I don't wantto give much away because every episode starts
with like another bombshell about this.But then they realized he was going to
(25:02):
other countries, like he's got Idon't know what country they left off the
map honestly, that he's been to. And it all leads to a lawsuit
where they're trying to take his reproductiverights away, saying you have to stop.
This is a threat to human health, This is a threat to our
children because they're gonna have no ideawho they can and can't be with in
(25:26):
the future because of potential incest.That's so, it's true. Why I
didn't even think about the incest.It's wild. It's so crazy, and
like the Netherlands not that big,and that's where I started. And then
they were like, oh my god, he's gone to the Netherlands. He's
gone to Germany, he's gone tothe UK, he's gone he's come to
(25:47):
the US, he's gone to Canada, he's gone to Mexico. His pardon
me seed is everywhere, and itwas crazy, and it was really really
like the end of it was thiswhole court proceedings recent This was like last
year. Oh my god, whatdid his statement say? Did you read
it? And I gotta look itup. We'll look it up right now.
It's really really we will wait,really worth. I wonder if he
(26:11):
pops up as like one of thefirst ones. It's also wild because his
name is Jonathan Jacob Meyer. AndI kept thinking, like I gotta go
to Meyer of the grocers in thehouse. Slam oh, threatens slander suit.
Dude, Yeah, they always do, they always do. He did
not participate in the docuseries. Heclaims he's fathered approximately five hundred and fifty
(26:32):
children, not a thousand as thetitle suggested, but the doc alleges he
lied to even more families about thenumber of offspring. He said, technically,
I did not lie. I followedthe guidelines of every large commercial international
sperm bank that does not inform therecipients about the amount of offspring one donor
will produce. I was doing amuch better thing. I gave the parents
(26:52):
an estimated number. This was betterand more info than they would ever get
at any clinic. He's absolutely andlike nuts, you know how they say,
like there there's a rule for areason. Yeah, Like and you
know you don't have rules like thisbecause you don't run into something like this
until you run into something like this, And now this is going to have
(27:15):
to be a hard and fast ruleat every single sperm bank that exists,
Like Nope, you can donate.What's crazy? What would a responsible number
be for someone like I don't knowhow many people donate to sperm banks on
average. And that's the thing,it's not that regulated. There's an American
(27:38):
woman, Eve, and I can'tremember her last name, but she made
the news here because when she wasshe was a victim of the doctor you're
talking about, right. She foundout when she was thirty, as did
her parents, that the doctor hadinseminated her mom with his sperm instead of
her dad's sperm. So she's beenon this like legal crusade because she's like
(28:00):
it is more regulated for like puppymills and cattle to not be bred to
reproduce like this, right humans,She said, there's almost like no enforcement
for anything. It's so insane.It's a fascinating watch, especially like I
don't know if you ever think thatyou might have to, you know,
do something like that or look tosomething like that. It was a crazy
(28:22):
watch three episodes and I was justlike, but that's his thing. He's
just like he wanted to have afather relationship with all kids. He was
like he was going to people's housesand doing it the natural way. It
was nuts, And that's all Ican give away because it's like just you've
got to sit there. It wasmy before work show. So I'd come
in here and be like, lookat an all these men I work with,
(28:45):
like sperm everywhere. Yeah, golfcourses, sperm donors, Mars rovers,
Mars rovers work cover it all.The world isn't big enough. That's
the takeaway here. We need wegotta find another planet man, But good
(29:07):
luck with that. Mental health.Yeah, here's the second half of summer.
Welcome to Buns and Banter, apodcast buy work Busties for work Busties.
Hey, I'm Lauren and I'm Ali. We're both morning show hosts for iHeartMedia.
We're both millennials, and we're bothtrying to figure out how to build
the lives we dream about, dating, marriage, career, career and being
a mom. How to get througha week without crying. Welcome to Buns
(00:26):
and Banter. We're glad you're here. Oh, I feel like I want
to take my shoes off today.Oh down, I want to take my
shoes off today. And man,oh man, man oh man. Okay,
I thought this would be a goodlike midsummer check in. Yeah,
and I feel like we've got alot to discuss or at least event about.
(00:51):
Yep. You know, I justlike I don't understand why things have
to happen veryan full stop, fullstop. I just like, you know,
I love I love golfing, andI love that it's something that Yimy
and I can do together. Yeah, And we've been golfing a lot,
(01:15):
and he likes to golf at likenicer courses like I'm happy at like the
twenty dollars nine hole twilight. Youknow, like I'm I'm good, but
he likes a little bit nicer ofa course. Which at these courses,
if you book a tea time forjust the two of you, they will
pair you with other groups and likeother twosomes. I didn't know that was
(01:40):
a thing. I don't like that. It's the worst part about golf,
and like sometimes it's really really great. Like we played with two guys a
little while ago and they were awesome. They were like so nice and so
chill and like we had a greattime. However, about a week ago,
we I thought we were gonna getaway with it. When we were
(02:02):
teeing off on the first hole wewere trying to get it was like six
o'clock. We were fighting the sunset. Yeah, and like you know,
we were going to try to playeighteen. And this was the day before
fourth of July, so you know, there was like there weren't like too
many people there because everyone's up town, right, So they were like,
oh, we were gonna pair youwith another group, but I don't think
(02:23):
they showed up. So you know, you guys might just be good to
go, and we were like yes, like you can just like go fast
it's just the two of us,Like, it's just a more comfortable situation,
not what happens. So we wetea off. We play the first
hole and the starter the golf courtseguy comes barreling down the first hole.
(02:45):
He's like, they made it.It's a super nice couple, like you
guys will have a class, likeit's like a double date and you guys
like they seem super nice. AndI was like, oh, Mark,
my man. But like you know, okay, whatever, no one wants
to be in this situation. Youknow, we're polite and this is like
(03:07):
a community space whatever. So wewe were instructed to wait for them at
the second tea box, and sowe're waiting there and they pull up and
Jimmy's like already out of the cart, like shaking this guy's hand and like
his This woman walks up to me. She's like, Hi, you know,
how are you blah blah blah.I shit you not, I shit
(03:28):
you not. It's a guy Iwent on several dates with LASSI honest to
god, that is so unkind ofthe universe. The hell, what the
hell, what the hell? Andlike what are the chances? I just
like sat there like what do Ido. Like I wasn't prepared for this,
(03:49):
Like I don't know how to handlethis situation. Like obviously the fail
safe is just like you be nice, you're polite, don't make it awkward
like you just were. Yeah,it's about the situation. But this threw
me. This threw me. Solike Jimmy introduces himself to this guy,
I his girlfriend introduces himself to me, and then it like got to the
(04:12):
point where like I was gonna haveto introduce myself or he was gonna have
to introduce himself, oh yeah tome, And I was like shit,
what do I say? Like,Hey, good to see you. So
he just like extended his hand andhe was like, Hi, nice to
meet you. And I was like, yeah, nice to meet you.
Really, yeah, he just playedit. He did it like that.
(04:34):
Maybe he didn't remember me, You'rememorable. Maybe he didn't remember at Shady.
So like, you know, myheart is going like one hundred and
fifty beats per minute, like Icannot and like it wasn't like it was
a terrible ending. It just likeit didn't work out. We weren't interested
(04:54):
in pursuing. So it's not likeit was some like he didn't do you
dirty. Yeah, he didn't gethe didn't like do me. It wasn't
like a dramatic ending or anything likethat, but I did like want I
just like didn't want to make Jimmyfeel uncomfortable and I didn't want to make
sure them feel uncomfortable. And Ialso didn't want to be like, hey,
so everybody you just saw everyone know. Like I just didn't know what
(05:15):
to do. So I ended uptelling Jimmy and just being like, hey,
just so you know, like Idid go on a couple of dates
with this guy last summer, soyou tell them this. So when you're
out on the course still, yeah, obviously, yeah yeah, oh yeah.
Like we beat off on the secondhole and then like as soon as
we drove away, I was like, hey code blue her. But they
(05:42):
were they. I mean, likethe the girlfriend was like super nice,
except for like there there was thismoment where like the guys were doing whatever
the guys were doing, and likeI was kind of talking to her.
She's so sweet, so cool,so nice. Lives in Chicago, oh
awesome, yeah, And like atone she was like where do you live?
And I was like, I live, you know, just outside of
(06:05):
East Grand Rapids and she was like, oh my god, that's crazy.
That's where he lives. And Iwas like, oh, no, way,
like I had to what you don'tsay? And like I I,
oh, I never even got farenough where I was like over at his
house or he picked me up formy house one time before we like went
(06:27):
on a date or whatever. Butthis would happen to you. Yeah,
And then you know, she waslike, yeah, we've been dating for
like about a year. And Iwas like, oh, oh wait,
that's a tight timeline, like justover a year, just under a year
when you say about a year,But like I didn't, I didn't push
her on it because like I didnot want to know. And Jimmy,
(06:50):
Jimmy was like, wait, whenwhen did you say you guys? And
I'm like trying to do the math, and I'm like, yeah, would
have been like last summer, likejust before we really got into like summer
summer. And he was like,if if he asks how long we've been
dating, I'm gonna tell him twoyears. And I was like, I
support that, please do it,please do it. But like just most
(07:15):
and everyone did a wonderful job.Jid, we did a wonderful job.
I did the best I could.Oh my god, I did the best
I could. I don't think sheknew. I don't think she knew at
all. I mean I would haveI would have brought I would have brought
it up, like when I wasintroducing. I would have been like,
(07:38):
oh, I would have it's greatto see you again, because then I
just feel like it's so weird tobe like, oh, okay, so
we are hiding this, or ifI accident then I'm on edge like myself,
like if I accidentally slip up andmention something, especially if they've been
dating about a year and yeah,like I just like I was like this,
(07:59):
this wasn't the relax golf game Iwas expecting. And it's not like
you like run into them at arestaurant and you're like oh hey, like
no, no, no, You'resaddled with these people for two hours two
hours. Ooh it was wild andI never want to do it again.
Thanks so much for doing that tous, golf course stop. So the
(08:22):
planets aligning on that is almost unheardof. Yeah, it was wild.
It was wild. Have you everrun into an X when you and Chris,
I mean you guys are married solike running into an X when you're
married, I feel like, istotally different than when you've been dating for
six months. The weird the weirdone was last summer. Actually, I
went and did a bunch of hostingat what was the there was the big
(08:46):
Miskigan event on the fourth of July. Yeah, they had this huge like
festival and EDM show, and Iwas out there doing a bunch of stuff.
And at that point, so thatwould have been Chris's and my like
eighth almost eighth year of being married. Yeah, and we'd been together for
a bit before that, but wehad a two year break right when I
(09:07):
started working for iHeart And there wasa guy there that was like Lauren Lauren,
which automatically triggers me a bit becausenobody calls me by my real name
unless they don't have an affiliation herewith me, you know. So I
was like, who could this?Who could this be? And I don't
immediately recognize him, and I'm like, this has to be someone from the
(09:30):
past, yay. And it wasindeed the dude that asked me out at
the laundromat while I was pulling mypanties out at the dryer. Love that
and I was like, oh,so and so, and he's like,
I did. I did. Iwent way back, way back, because
we'd gone on a couple dates.And oh, to be fair, it
(09:52):
might have been me. I don'tknow, like I didn't really I started
seeing another guy after that. Iwas. I was so in Oh,
it's a bet during at two yearstrying to I mean, just you know,
make sure that I was headed inthe right direction. And it would
have been totally fine and not weirdbecause it had been so long. But
then he was weird. And hewas like, God, I can't tell
(10:13):
you how good it is to seeyou. No, and he not.
And he knew lots of things aboutme. He knew about my two kids,
he knew about Chris, he knewthings that I'd been doing. And
I was like, I don't eventhink I'm social media friends with you?
Man? How did this all?And then his girlfriend is standing right next
to him, getting increasingly more uncomfortableand rage filled, and I was like,
(10:37):
all right, man, like it'sit's super great. I've got a
bunch of stagers to do. SoUnfortunately, like I'm gonna be backstage,
I'm walking away, and I seeher turn to him and like smack him
in the chest. It would gotto be that uncomfortable. And I'm just
like, what is it? Shewas beautiful, looked fun and I'm like,
no, no, we don't dothat. I dated you like ten
years ago. You were the greatwhite Buffalo, the great white I don't
(11:01):
think so maybe were Oh god,I didn't feel like where either. Dinner
felt that way and it was toand done. Yeah. Man, it's
weird when that stuff comes back.Oh so never again. She pats her
hair. Ever again. You didit, you know, two hours though,
Like West Michigan, I cannot tellyou the last time I saw like
(11:26):
I ran into an ex like outand about by myself. Yeah you know
what I mean. It feels likewe're getting to be big enough. It
doesn't happen. And then to runit just like such a specific place and
out of all the places in WestMichigan, you had to pick this golf
(11:50):
course at this exact time, Likethere were just there were too many details
that had to just work out exactlybecause like, okay, you're at the
same golf course. There aren't aton of golf courses in West Michigan,
but there are there's enough but thetime like to choose the like choose the
(12:13):
time ten minutes behind us was justnorth of July weekend, north of July
weekend. I was like, whyam I being punished from the universe,
and like it really it wasn't apunishment because like it really wasn't a miserable
situation. It just like it wasn'tmy first choice right of situation. It's
still gonna be somewhat uncomfortable because you'restill like, let's act natural, but
(12:39):
then when you act natural, you'relike, I don't feel like I'm acting
natural. And then I was likeso self conscious about like everything that I
was doing, yeah, because Iwas like I want to be like nice
and friendly, but not too niceand friendly. M h, and like
I don't some mental load, butI don't know if she's clued into the
situation, so I don't want to. Like my ideal situation would have just
(13:03):
been to have been like what arethe chances exist like about it, and
then like we're both with other people, like we're super happy, like obviously
the right events happen and like everythingworked out for nobody can be mad because
nobody planned this right, and likeit just like it could have been just
like so much less awkward, butthere was just like this like lingering awkwardness,
(13:24):
and I was like, I don'tknow what to do to like make
this not awkward. But I alsowanted to be so conscious of like Jimmy
not being uncomfortable, and like itwasn't he was great, and I just
like am so that I'd be nervous, like I can't drink because I'll drink
too much and be like, isanyone else uncomfortable? It's because we've dated.
(13:45):
We I drink great times. Ihad like seventeen high nutes. I
was like every time the car girlscoming around, I was like, over
here, beat me up, Scottiere. And then like I also felt like
I played like shit, which waslike another I don't like playing like shit
in front of everyone, Like Idon't like playing like shit in front of
(14:07):
Jimmy or anyone I've gone on anynumber of dates with or their girlfriend of
questionable timelines. That's terrible. Comeon. She probably she probably meant like
just shy of a year and thatmath works out, but like also maybe
she didn't mean just maybe it didn'twork out, and that would actually explain
(14:31):
a few things. Oh see.Oh, but honestly, like it just
so perfect perfect lead in here.How would you say your midsummer mental health
is doing? You know, nottoo bad, not too bad. I
(14:54):
just want that sounder right, They'renot over good. I don't know what.
My voice keeps going up like that, Like I feel I feel good
right now. But then like Ithink about like the last like month and
a half, and like I've workedevery single weekend and yeah, then I
felt like it was a huge raceto get everything done before the fourth of
(15:16):
July. And then I really puta lot of pressure on that Fourth of
July break because I needed to enjoyenjoy it. I needed the reset,
and like I really really have beenfeeling burned out. And then I just
made some choices like staying up reallylate and like having more drinks than I
should have and not using that timeto reset. Do you do that to
(15:41):
yourself? Sosolutely, I feel theexact same way you, like, rebel
against the healthy choices that you needto make, Like I should go to
bed early, and I should cleanthe house and I should do all of
the things that I know will setme up for success after this break.
But I just can't. I wantto stay up late, I want to
eat like shit, I want todrink, and I want to have a
little fun and let off a littlesteam. And I can't do all of
(16:03):
it. So I gotta pick.There's two things there for me. The
one I feel like the long summerholiday weekends, your Memorial Day, your
Fourth of July, your Labor Day, are like the Friday slash Saturday nights
of the week where you have therevenge bedtime. Yeah. I feel like
I didn't get what feels like anyme time this entire week, and so
(16:26):
like as a mom, I'll putmy kids down and then all of a
sudden, it's two thirty in themorning. I did nothing with my life.
I watched Netflix for six hours.I doom scrolled. I did all
that exactly how holiday weekends go forme. And I've got to get better
about this because I don't think Ido it in any other season. I
put so much massive pressure on summer. Yeah, oh my god, And
(16:48):
so you nailed it. When you'retalking about the fourth of July weekend,
I was like, Okay, we'regonna have people over on the fourth.
It's gonna be great. Then Iworked on Friday, But then I like
jet it out of here packed.My kids went up North insanity back home
on Sunday, which was the worstbecause the traffic was unbelievable. Then you
wake up Monday morning and your body'slike, oh, what the fuck did
(17:11):
we just do? Yeah? Likethat was supposed to be four days of
a nice reset and it was justspent like oop, Hope I'm creating enough
memories, Hope we're having enough fun. Hope this is something I can post
about and be as great as everybodyelse that seems to be having super relaxing
body fun times on the fourth Yeah, and then you are just like,
I have a forty eight hour likeweakness for anything. If I work out,
(17:34):
it's never that I'm store the nextday. It's forty eight hours later
coming home from a holiday weekend.It's not Monday that gets me. It's
that Tuesday where I wake up andmy body's like, you, we've got
to rethink what we're doing here,Like, hey, you can't live on
hot dogs for five days. Havea vegetable drink water? Yeah, but
(17:56):
like, and it's just then you'rejust mad at yourself. Just nobody else's
fault. I did all of thatto myself, and then you get in
this stupid, like depressive spiral andyou're like, don't worry, I'll fix
it on Labor Day weekend the nextsummer break, and like fourth of July,
I'm like, summer's over. Yeah, where did summer go? Like
(18:17):
it was just June and now allof a sudden, like fourth of July,
and now all of a sudden,it's July. What tenth, eleven,
twelve, thirteen, We're into themiddle of July. Over for some
kids, they are back in schoolin like four weeks. Oh, I
know. My kid just asked meabout its Halloween costume the other day.
You're kidding. Now. I waslike, okay, to be fair,
(18:37):
you're like obsessively obsessed with Halloween.But I was like, bro, you've
got like a like a pretty bigthree months, and he just was like,
well, fourth of July is over, so summer's done. I'm like
who for some people, but notnot the stressed out month that needs to
figure out what we're gonna do onHalloween. Hallmark did start Christmas in July.
Oh my god, the Christmas inJuly. Yeah, yeah, it's
(19:00):
coming. I'm already getting the messagesyep, on my on my Christmas station.
I don't know. I was justlike trying to google helpful tips because
I thought, Man, I wonderif there's other people that kind of just
feel that way, that just summerlethargy. Is that? Am I saying
that? Right? Am I usingthat? Yeah? I'm using that the
(19:21):
right way. I think so lethargic. I know whatever, you guys,
my brain is freaking fried. Iknow everyone. Yeah, for some it
all of our brains are fried.But it can be negative effects of summer.
Summer weather can lead to anxiety,aggressiveness, and higher levels of stress
hormones, especially with the heat,reduced motivation, decreased mood. They're like,
(19:42):
it's great to be in the sun. Your vitamin D is like boo.
But then you feel all this pressureto take advantage of the beautiful months
that we have. It was,oh my god, I saw like somebody
post something yesterday and it was calledlike like weather regrets. So when you're
sitting in your house and it's abeautiful day outside and you should definitely go
(20:03):
outside, but you don't really feellike going outside, so you spend the
whole day feeling really shitty. Thatyou never went outside. Yes, I
do that all the time. Ido that all the time, especially when
I come home after work and likeI need a n app oh like,
but what I should do is takethe dog for a walk. But it's
too hot at present to take thedog for a walk, so I'm gonna
have to wait until like six seven. But then at six seven, I'm
(20:23):
like, fuck that, right tomorrow. I told you, like Chaftsmacman got
us a new h back. Yeah, this is the first time I've had
central air and ten plus years.Oh, I've never I have not had
central air since college. Every placeI rented after college did not have it.
So we have had window units eventhrough our first home. So I'm
(20:45):
sending inside and I'm like, yeah, it's beautiful out there, but it's
sixty eight in here, and I'mjust I don't do it. I'm just
a freaking slug on the couch.Amazing. Yeah, I just oh,
I'm sorry. I did get somethings done. I just wrapped up The
Man with a thousand Kids Dot documentaryon Netflix. So that's what I have
to show for that doctor who likewas inseminating his patients with his own sperm.
(21:06):
This is a man from the Netherlandsthat called himself a super donor and
they think conservatively he has fathered possiblythree thousand kids. Oh, you gotta
watch it. It's insane. Itjust it just dropped. That's insane.
So yeah, I guess I havesomething to show for the fact not outside
and join the summer weather. That'sinsane. Yeah, it's really good though.
(21:29):
You know what I watched. Ifell asleep towards the end of it.
But I started watching the Mars Opportunityand Spirit documentary. God no,
so like the robots, Yeah,they need to like explore Mars and they're
so human like and cute and likealmost emotive and like these robots were supposed
(21:49):
to be on Mars for ninety daysand they ended up being there for like
fifteen years. Yeah, and itwas just incredible, and there is Jimmy
and I both agreed that, likethere's a super cute scientist from Ghana and
we were like, they need tomake a separate documentary just about him.
Like we have so many questions.What is it on? I think it's
(22:11):
I love that stuff, Maybe likeHBO or maybe Amazon. I don't know.
I'll have to check and get backto you, but it's giving me
wally vibes. It totally does.It totally does. And like they play
a song every morning to like setthe mood for the day, but also
like wake the robots up. Whatso they choose like Abba and Queen and
(22:36):
like all of these and these peoplethere they have like obviously so much invested
in it because this is like decadesof their careers. They spend like ten
years researching this and then building itand then to see like it actualized and
for these things to land on themoon. I can't remember the exact analogy,
but it was like throwing a golfball off of the Sears Tower and
(23:03):
like having it land in a likegolf hole on the other side of the
world. Oh my god, thatwas getting these from And if there was
like a really good analogy. Yeah, and there was like this window where
because you know, the what isthis help the moon the lunar what circular
radius radius? Yeah, but likethe diameter no, when the rotate not
(23:29):
rotates around the Sun the Earth,I use rotate rotate. I think you're
right, Okay, whatever, Butlike if they if they didn't get it
right the first time, they hadto wait twenty six months to try again.
Oh my god, like shakes werehigh. This sounds fascinating. I
did fall asleep. It was reallylate, and it was after that round
(23:52):
of golf and I was like,forget it. This was after the golf.
You were like, please God putme on Mars. Yes. Yes.
All I had to show for minewas like how often they kept saying
the word sperm And I'm a toddler. I was like, I mean,
I know how babies are made,but this different word. Did this man
(24:15):
get paid for each donation? Isthat why he did this? What was
his Why they think it? Theythink and he actually I didn't even read
it. He apparently like released astatement like yesterday about this. Oh no
way, yes, because this islike shot to the top of the Netflix
chart and so many people are talkingabout it now. There were so he
was going around to like eleven differentbanks just in the Netherlands, and all
(24:42):
of these women, all these momsstarted to put together like wait a minute,
they're finding him in Facebook groups andall these things. He's had like
a ton of different aliases and theythink he had a god complex because then
it's so insane and I don't wantto give much away because every episode starts
with like another bombshell about this.But then they realized he was going to
(25:02):
other countries, like he's got Idon't know what country they left off the
map honestly, that he's been to. And it all leads to a lawsuit
where they're trying to take his reproductiverights away, saying you have to stop.
This is a threat to human health, This is a threat to our
children because they're gonna have no ideawho they can and can't be with in
(25:26):
the future because of potential incest.That's so, it's true. Why I
didn't even think about the incest.It's wild. It's so crazy, and
like the Netherlands not that big,and that's where I started. And then
they were like, oh my god, he's gone to the Netherlands. He's
gone to Germany, he's gone tothe UK, he's gone he's come to
(25:47):
the US, he's gone to Canada, he's gone to Mexico. His pardon
me seed is everywhere, and itwas crazy, and it was really really
like the end of it was thiswhole court proceedings recent This was like last
year. Oh my god, whatdid his statement say? Did you read
it? And I gotta look itup. We'll look it up right now.
It's really really we will wait,really worth. I wonder if he
(26:11):
pops up as like one of thefirst ones. It's also wild because his
name is Jonathan Jacob Meyer. AndI kept thinking, like I gotta go
to Meyer of the grocers in thehouse. Slam oh, threatens slander suit.
Dude, Yeah, they always do, they always do. He did
not participate in the docuseries. Heclaims he's fathered approximately five hundred and fifty
(26:32):
children, not a thousand as thetitle suggested, but the doc alleges he
lied to even more families about thenumber of offspring. He said, technically,
I did not lie. I followedthe guidelines of every large commercial international
sperm bank that does not inform therecipients about the amount of offspring one donor
will produce. I was doing amuch better thing. I gave the parents
(26:52):
an estimated number. This was betterand more info than they would ever get
at any clinic. He's absolutely andlike nuts, you know how they say,
like there there's a rule for areason. Yeah, Like and you
know you don't have rules like thisbecause you don't run into something like this
until you run into something like this, And now this is going to have
(27:15):
to be a hard and fast ruleat every single sperm bank that exists,
Like Nope, you can donate.What's crazy? What would a responsible number
be for someone like I don't knowhow many people donate to sperm banks on
average. And that's the thing,it's not that regulated. There's an American
(27:38):
woman, Eve, and I can'tremember her last name, but she made
the news here because when she wasshe was a victim of the doctor you're
talking about, right. She foundout when she was thirty, as did
her parents, that the doctor hadinseminated her mom with his sperm instead of
her dad's sperm. So she's beenon this like legal crusade because she's like
(28:00):
it is more regulated for like puppymills and cattle to not be bred to
reproduce like this, right humans,She said, there's almost like no enforcement
for anything. It's so insane.It's a fascinating watch, especially like I
don't know if you ever think thatyou might have to, you know,
do something like that or look tosomething like that. It was a crazy
(28:22):
watch three episodes and I was justlike, but that's his thing. He's
just like he wanted to have afather relationship with all kids. He was
like he was going to people's housesand doing it the natural way. It
was nuts, And that's all Ican give away because it's like just you've
got to sit there. It wasmy before work show. So I'd come
in here and be like, lookat an all these men I work with,
(28:45):
like sperm everywhere. Yeah, golfcourses, sperm donors, Mars rovers,
Mars rovers work cover it all.The world isn't big enough. That's
the takeaway here. We need wegotta find another planet man, But good
(29:07):
luck with that. Mental health.Yeah, here's the second half of summer.
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