July 10, 2024 • 31 mins
Picture this: you're standing on stage, about to perform in front of thousands of people, feeling your absolute lowest then... the stage lights come up. It’s the nightmare we’ve all had, but Rob Mills has actually lived it.
Rob is a singer, actor, writer, and — Australia’s boyfriend. He’s a big advocate for mental health, having had moments in life where he’s suffered in silence.
In this chat, one of the most vulnerable we’ve had on this podcast, Rob opens up about his once all-consuming relationship with alcohol, the mental health crisis facing men, the magic of falling in love, and how getting “the thing” isn’t always a recipe for happiness.
Listen to part two of this chat here
THE END BITS
Listen to Part Two of this conversation here.
Listen to last week's episode: Laura Byrne On Feeling The Pressure To “Fix” The Way She Looks
Read: The interview Rob Mills was desperate to cancel with us.
If you want to learn more about Rob Mills, read his book Putting on a Show: Manhood, Mates and Mental Health
GET IN TOUCH:
Share your story, feedback, or dilemma! Send us a voice message or email us at podcast@mamamia.com.au
CREDITS:
Host: Clare Stephens
Guest: Rob Mills
Audio Producer: Scott Stronach
Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.
Support the show: https://www.mamamia.com.au/mplus/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
So much.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
You're listening to a Muma Mia podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and
waters that this podcast is recorded on.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
I think this is just across the board for everyone,
and it's definitely for me. When you do the thing
and when you get the thing, yeah, you're going to
be instantly happy. You know. Happiness is like sadness. This
is a fleeting thing that comes and goes.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Hello and welcome to But are you happy? The podcast
that asks the questions you've always wanted to know from
the people who appear to have it all. Rob Mills
is actually my boyfriend? No he's not, But when I
was thirteen, I truly believed he was my boyfriend. Millsy
was on Australian idol and he was a bad boy,
(00:58):
which meant he sometimes wore eyeliner. The country fell in
love with him, and then he came out the other
side realizing he had been told who he was by
audiences without ever having the chance to work it out
for himself. You had that fame, you had kind of
that external success. Were you happier than you had been previously?
Speaker 3 (01:19):
No, it was way worse.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Now he's one of the biggest musical theater stars in
the country. I chat to Rob about the experience of
working out what it is you really truly want to do,
achieving it, and then having the media bring the focus
back to a fleeting moment from the past.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
I remember this article. I made an interview about me
finishing the show and I was heading over to New
York to go and do auditions, and the person that
interviewed me hadn't even seen the show. I've done it
for two years and the titles is ell of that
Paris Hilton.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
We also talk about his relationship with alcohol, the mental
health crisis facing men, and the magic of falling in love.
Here's my chat with Rob Mills. Rob Mills, You're an actor,
a singer, host and author. You've been a household name
(02:13):
for over twenty years since your time on Australian Idol
in two thousand and three. I was prime Australian Idol audience.
I was absolutely obsessed. I had your poster on my wall.
I would have been thirteen thirteen, so you're really knew
your demo. I've told Gorgie, I'm like, you're dating my boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
She did, Okay, it's fine between me. And Georgia contractual space.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Since then, you've had a solo music career as well
as primetime TV hosting gigs and a role on Neighbors,
and have gone on to become one of the biggest
names in Australian musical theater. You released your book in
twenty twenty two, and you're currently playing Shakespeare in the
Australian production of Anguliette, which I saw a few weeks ago.
That's the big picture stuff, bringing you back to the
(03:09):
present moment. How are you right now?
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Right now, I'm pretty good. I'm having a sweet treat
with some lovely humans here in the office. I was
up in about I caught up with a friend this morning.
Spoke to Georgie last night. When I got home. I
was like, that was really good little FaceTime. We're living
in separate cities at the moment. She's in Melbourne, I'm
in Sydney. If you asked me this a week ago, mate,
I was low as I've had this cold and sickness.
(03:34):
I was off work. I was having a really, really
tough time. If I've been brutally honest, I had suicidal
thoughts for the very first time in like seventeen years Wow,
on stage during a show, what I say suicidal thoughts.
I will also clarify this as a fleeting thought which
was clearly irrational. In the moment. There would have been
(03:55):
a lack of food in my stomach because of the
show schedule, but also just I was exhausted. I was
so tired. I miss Georgie, I miss life. Like I
work every single night. I give my heart and soul
to this production, which I love so much. But at
this moment of like, I just can't do this, and
I was like, why is my body failing me? Why
(04:16):
am I sore every day? Anyway, it was just this
really crazy moment last week, Mate, and I got on
the scooter on the way home calling Georgia. I'm like, oh,
this is very hard. I just so I was a mess,
an absolute mess. Anyway, the following day I was like,
I probably just needed a really big cry, and I'm
a big cry, Like it's releasing the pressure valve in
(04:36):
your life and you're like, ah, cool, cool, cool, feel better.
But at the moment, this week fantastic, And as I said,
it's just obviously a build up over over time. But yeah,
it was a really scary moment though, having not had
any of those kind of thoughts for many, many, many years,
and yeah, now feeling like, oh great, okay, I'm just exhausted. Sickness.
Does that makes you feel very irrational, like a sleep
(04:59):
makes you feel those things?
Speaker 1 (05:00):
You know this as a young one, Yes, And I've
always thought that. I notice every time I get sick,
like fluey or anything like that, I think I have depression.
And I think it is actually like inflammation of the
brain and that kind of thing, and you have to
remember that it passes, but in the moment it is
so distressing. In a moment like that where you're on stage,
(05:23):
do you feel almost trapped by the stakes of what
you're doing, like you can't stop.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Yeah, I mean there's the moment on stage like at
least I know I have the show. I can just
sit in this character for a bit longer. The character
gets yelled at by.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
His wife and you're probably like, don't yell met it worse.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
But also like I was, like, I just as I said,
rational Robbers, like you're doing the pit the character, and
then I see can't stop the feeling, and I'm like, oh,
I got the feeling I'm like, I've got this feeling
so funny feeling yeah, so funny, so strange. But there's
also the security of the character. I suppose if you're
not going out there, but doing the same thing over
(06:06):
and over again, can sometimes feel a bit like groundhog Day.
But like, luckily for me in this show, it is
full of joy and wonder and love and hope and
positivity and progressiveness. That's it ticks all these boxes you
said about feeling depression of there's where they gets thrown
around quite a lot. There are different levels of this.
There as new ones to any kind of sadness or
your ups and your downs. And I think if sometimes
(06:28):
people forget that it's okay to just be sad just
for a moment.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
I think it was that movie Inside Out. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that really cemented that for me. I was like, oh,
sadness just plays a really important role in your life.
You have to have sadness or else you can't have joy. Yeah,
and they have to be best friends. Well, they don't
have to be best friends, but you know, I mean, like,
it's okay to sit in the sadness for a bit.
If it goes on for a long time, It's definitely
worth seeking help and talking to friends and counselors or psychologists,
(06:52):
rabbi whoever you've got. But to diagnose yourself with depression,
I think is problematic. And I think a lot of
people go I'm depressed, Like go for a run. Did
you feel better after the run? You're probably just a
bit sad.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
And to acknowledge that it is just a state that
you move through, yeah, it stead of I think the
thing is when you feel really low, you tell yourself
it's forever and you cannot imagine your mood ever changing.
But the nature of being human is that we move
through all these different emotions in a day, and they
can be quite extreme.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Yeah, and for the people who are struggling with that, definitely, yes,
seek help. I'd put your hand up and say a
should not doing so well at the moment, and then
you might get some clarity from that. You're like, oh,
I was just in a moment and now I'm okay.
As I said, my thing the other night on stage
was just a moment. As I said, I'm pretty self aware.
Like I've done a lot of work with so collegists
over the years. I've got a great psychotherapist. Now in
(07:45):
that moment, I was like, yep, I was just having
a moment and knowing that I had that moment and
just knowing that I needed to talk to my person
and talk it through was yeah, quite confronting, but also
therapeutic for both of us as well.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
You were the heart throb of Australian idol.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Oh thank you?
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Were you twenty one when you're on that chain?
Speaker 3 (08:06):
I just turned twenty one. I was twenty with my
first audition. I turned twenty one before I went to Sydney.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
You go to Sydney, Well, I remember it's so vividly.
What did the public not see about that experience? Like
I can't imagine what the actual day to day reality
was of being on that show.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
We were really busy, Like there was so much publicity
and stuff that we had to do little stories every day,
Like the producers were pulling a left, right and center
to go and do stuff. And the singing was really
the small part of it. We're saying for a minute
and a half, And I found that really strange as
a kid who spent the last three years singing in pubs,
singing thirty forty songs a night, three or four nights
(08:45):
a week, I only have to sing for a minute
and a half. Sure, let's get a little bess Like,
it's so weird that.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
It was only a minute and a half. Yet to
audiences it felt like that was your whole week. It's
really strange looking back on it, that it was such
a fleeting moment and it would have been so easy
to stuff up that minute and a half.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
I remember thinking like afterwards, like, you know, people talk
about you fifteen minutes of fame. I actually calculated. I
was like, it literally was fifteen minutes of singing time
on stage. Wow, which is wild to be. What they
didn't see probably a precocious, super inquisitive young kid. I
think they sort of painted me a little bit as
the boy next door, maybe a party boy kind of guy,
which I kind of was as well. I also, I
(09:27):
spent the last three years singing in pubs. I didn't
really have weekends. My weekends were working. So it's the
first time I'd ever been in a plane before, first
time i'd like met all these new people, and I'm
super extroverted, so if there's people around, my energy is up.
So I spent so much time in the van with
the director and learning from the camera guys, talking to
the producers about what they were doing. I was super
(09:49):
inquisitive about how they're creating the show. And as soon
as I heard guy Sebastian Sing, I was like, what
am I doing here? It's like, what, I'm not going
to win? So I just remember going I'm here for
the ride.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
What was it like to go on a show and
develop this profile and then have people tell you who
you are before you know who you are?
Speaker 3 (10:12):
Yeah, I don't think it's healthy. Every time I've gone
and talked to kids at schools like and performing art schools,
whatever one teach workshops, and I get asked, you know,
would you recommend my daughter or do you recommend me
going on the shows? Like do you have a good
sense of self? They're like, I don't know what that is?
Is like no already. So if you have self confidence, great,
But I always talk about self worth, which is just
(10:32):
knowing what your value is or your integrity or your reputation,
and like, growing your self worth will lead to your
self confidence. So you know, read more books or like
listen to music and understand why you like these songs
or understand why they resonate with you, which is really
difficult to know all that stuff as a teenager. I
don't think your brain is quite developed yet. So yeah,
(10:54):
my advice is always try and work out who you
are as a person, which evidently will change over time
as well, but when you're younger it's much harder to
get it set. A sense of self, is it.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Something that you have even going into something like Australian
idol and the years before that when you're performing, do
you experience any jealousy or competitiveness or comparison in the context.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Of no, not, okay, how's this? This is weird not
in the real world, but when I see it online,
like if I'm on my phone, then I feel a
pang of jealousy or like fomo or whatever. Wow, So
it's really strange if I see it just in the world,
like I see like a performer perform, like this is amazing,
You're incredible. I never go I want to do that.
(11:41):
I'm like, you are doing that, so that's okay, you
are performing. That's fine. But like there's something about seeing
it online. I have a weird reaction to it. Every
now and again, I.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Kind of get that, like if I'm seeing somebody in
person and they're at their best. I have a weird
sense of that's you. You do you, I do me,
Whereas when I see something online, there's something about the
flattened sense of reality where you're not really seeing the
difference between who they are and who you are. You're
(12:11):
just making kind of a snap comparison. Yeah, I totally
get that good right, That's when I find myself feeling shit.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Yeah, I hadn't thought of that before. Yeah, you asked
me that question, but yeah, I think that's a strange phenomenon.
Hence why I've maybe deleted Instagram in the last week
and I'm having the best week. I just I just
don't care. It's not like I don't care, but like,
I've got a great job. You know, the marketing team
is doing a great job with the Angeliette stuff. People
know what I'm doing the show. At the moment, my
(12:40):
life is literally get up, do some exercise, and go
to the show. A lot of people want to know
how my day is. A lot of people don't want
to know about my day.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Because you grew up without social media, you were just yeah,
and because I'm very grateful that I grew up without it.
Have you kind of seen how that, especially in your industry,
how that plays with how you feel about yourself and
feel about what you do.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Yeah, it's a really weird one because most artists, entertainers,
or people have a creative people have a sort of
creative flair, but we also have this weird imposter syndrome
that comes with it. It's like the double edged sword maybe,
and I struggle with it at times. So like, I
love being part of the team. I grew up playing
team sports like baseball and cricket and footy and OZI rules,
(13:29):
I should point out, And I love being part of
the team. And a musical does that for me. Sometimes
I'm the back pocket player, small bit parts. Sometimes I'm
the full forward and being part of the teams are
like I can't do my job without the lighting person.
I can't do my job with that sound person. We're
all cogs in the machine, and I like being part
of that. Social media what it does is it's all you.
(13:53):
It's just you. Everyone is becoming their own brand, and
they see that's the only way to success these days,
not so much this is the way to be famous,
but this is the way to success. This is how
you make your money, this is how you get free things,
This is how you exist in the world. But like,
is it because we still exist in the world's world? Like,
how does that skill set make them a better person
(14:17):
or connects better with people? And I see it across
the board that so many are doing that at connecting
with people and they're becoming a community of people. But
I fear sometimes, Yeah, with social media, it just makes
you more narcissistic and it makes you more individualized, when
really we know scientifically it's been proven if you want
to live a longer, happier life. Community, yeah, real community,
(14:39):
real physical contact, real humans in the rooms together. All
this working from home stuff is just dispose my mind.
But like we need people, yeah, even introverts.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
I just yes, and I'm an introvert. But I think
that idea of there's a selflessness that comes into play
when you are a cog in a machine. I've noticed
it in the workplace a little bit. It reminds me
a lot of team sports, and I always say, I
reckon you can tell people who played team sports when
they were growing up, because when you're in a team
and you might say to somebody, hey, can you fill
(15:12):
in on that shift, like because so and so sick.
And there are two tapes of people. There's the person
who says, oh, yeah, I'm part of the team, and
I see what the team is working towards and that helps.
And then there's a person who's like, but that's inconvenient
for me. Why would I do that? And and it's
so interesting, and I can see in musical theater you
have to be that first type of person. You have
(15:32):
to be because you're working for such a long period
of time together. No one wants to work with that
person who's just in it for themselves, which is interesting
because at the same time you're a performer and you're
getting applauded at the end of the night.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
And it's should point. It's the only job in the world.
We finish a shift and someone goes someone it's the
weirdest jealous I just clocked off many years ago, and
I think I still think it's a good idea where
you go out and give standing innovations to people. When
they finish, their job will be at the office and
it will stand.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Up and chairs, well done, well done. I deserve it.
At the end of the day of parenting. If my
daughter could just give me a round of applause before
she goes to bed, that would.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Be Well, they just put it on the screen, or
like a have a flash mob of people that just
come with chairs. They just get up with everybody.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Everyone deserves. After the break, Rob tells us what happened
after Idle when he performed at a concert I was
incidentally at, and how getting the thing is not a
recipe for happiness. We also chat about his frustration with
the media's focus on his fleeing with a Hollywood celebrity.
(16:51):
You've gone from Australian idol, you become a household name,
you have a solo music career. Australia is obsessed with you.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Well, I wouldn't say obsessed. The album only went goals,
not even goals.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
There were a whole lot of people obsessed with you.
How do you not turn into a complete nasist? How
does that not totally?
Speaker 3 (17:14):
You can tell you right now. I've got two older
brothers and older cousins, and we're a pretty tight knit family.
Like I would say, my cousins are like brothers and
sisters to me as well. So my oldest brother, Chris,
he's very good at keeping me grounded. He'd never let
me get too big for my boots and just kept
it real. I would say sometimes to the point of,
like you can actually just give me some complience, like
(17:36):
it's just SOMEBM it's all be nice. No, but that
was really helpful. There was a weird period though, where
did I say my fame was lots, you know, during idle,
and I don't think he knew how to deal with that.
You know, you have a dynamic with your sister or
sibling or whatever, right one of you is more alfa.
You just sort of have the dynamic, right, And it
(17:58):
was weird because I became the more popular person and
I was like, oh, I don't sit well in this.
I'm a beata kind of person, right, Like I don't
know my personality, so I will fit whatever needs to
be fit, kind of like Georgie, we're the pretzel, right.
If you need a leader, I'll be your leader. But
I'm a reluctant leader. But I'm much happier being the wallflower,
joky person right than the leader type anyway, So that
(18:21):
shifted for a while where I was sort of I
don't know, knowing more about the world, but not knowing
more about the world than my brother. And then it
shifted back we started having kids, and then I was like, oh, great,
you can now be the guy.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
You can be the grown up.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
You can be the grown up. And now we've got
to an equilibrium of equalness, which is great. We talk money,
we talk kids, we talk all the adult stuff, which
is really really helpful. But yeah, there was a weird
period there which had to be acknowledged, you know, years
later with therapy. I was like, oh, cool, cool, cool,
that was what was weird. And we didn't really talk
about it until years later and go on our brother
walks and you know, oh, yeah, that was a weird time.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
When you do have this really public success. I always
think this really public success. I can imagine you go
to like family gatherings and everyone's like, I saw you
on the television, and you're getting a whole lot of attention.
Do you think it makes people around you feel like shit?
Do you think it made your brother feel actually?
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Possibly, No, he's pretty good at keeping his drive. I
think he was okay with it. I think it was
kind of like he would always say, you're my younger brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'm not Mills his brother.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Your Chris brother, which was always good at keeping it real.
We talked about this in the past and I think
he's always been okay, well, I think he's pretty proud,
but yeah, the family gatherings are weird because also people
ask you questions and you forget you also have to
ask questions, yep, yep. And I think I went through
a period of that where I just talked about myself
(19:42):
and this is probably through my twenties early thirties and
started getting therapy. I was like, oh, you're not a
good person. Not a good person, but you know, like
if you want more from people, you need to do
the work. It's weird because you're constantly on all the
time when you're doing a gig or post the show
or like and then you're like, I got I don't
have any more to ask of anyone else.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
It's weird with fame because people have kind of a
short it's like a a shortcut to intimacy, so people
know a sort of surface level things about you, so
there it's like a fast track to ask you certain questions.
And I notice it even with industry things that it's
really easy to go up to someone and say I
heard you on a podcast and connect with them, and
(20:26):
then you think, hold on, the person next to you
is just as interesting as you.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Correct and their plus one Yeah, exactly, all the plus
ones out there bloody love for you. Yes, And you
do a lot of heavy lifting yes for the friendship.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
And you think it's a bit dicky to kind of
only talk to this person who you have this surface
level of things that you know, did you find after idle,
you had that fame, you had that external success. Were
you happier than you had been previously?
Speaker 3 (20:55):
No, it was way worse. Like if you don't have
a good sense of self, you know, and everyone has
this sort of an idea of who you are and
you're just floundering, like but you're like, yeah, you're this party.
I'm like, I'm really not. And then you drink a
lot and then alcohol is a depressant and then you're like, okay,
this is also not good either. I don't want to
beat this party boy. This is a very sad place
(21:15):
to be. Also, no one knows who I am. I
don't know who am I. That was when I had
a pretty horrific moment if like that was the very
first time I thought about maybe just ended Robert, just
end it. When a hotel room in the Gold Coast
at Indie weekend after I got kicked off the show,
it was just terrifying, and we were calling my brother
(21:36):
and just need to hear a familiar voice and really
not knowing what I just felt, but it was definitely
a That balcony door was open and I ran to it.
I was like quickly slammed at short and I was like, oh,
this is a real panic attack, this is real. I
didn't tell my brother what had happened. I just needed
to hear his voice and he's like, yeah, I'm mistaid,
Indy having a good time. It's going great. Never again
(21:58):
will I ever lie to myself or yeah, especially to
my loved ones. That's why I called Georgie straightaway the
other day. So it was a happier No. Lots of
things were happening, you know. We did a tour of
like the Country and all the bigger I went, what
an amazing concert, right, it was so much fun great.
(22:20):
I was like it was just all these kids just
it was so great. We sold out Rod Labor, like
not as many times as Pink, but we did too.
Sold out shows at rod Labor. Yeah, we got paid
two thousand dollars a night. Amazing.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
You would have been like, I'm rolling in it.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
Oh my god? How much money did make.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Off your path?
Speaker 3 (22:40):
Oh my god?
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Have there been times where there's been negative attention on
you and you've felt it in your day to day life?
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Yeah? I still feel like a dick when someone mentions
Paris Hilton, especially if I'm with Georgie or I'm just out.
I'm like, oh, this is over twenty years ago for
someone I was with like a day, Like, yep, do
you want to talk about someone that you were with
in high school twenty years ago? What is this for?
Even if it's like a congratulatory thing, I find that toxic.
(23:14):
Yeah yeah, it's like great.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
And quite sexist, dehumanizing to her yeah yeah yeah and
me and.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
To Georgie, who's right here. Yeah that just always makes
me go ah yuck. And I think for a while
I was like, who am I with that? And I
was like, I want to be someone. I want to
be someone who's it has a good work ethic. I
want to be someone who performs, who entertains, who makes
people laugh, it makes people feel good. That doesn't make
(23:43):
me feel good, Like I'm working towards making people feel good.
Why are you? Why are you making me feel yuck? Yeah,
that's the only time. As I said, that happens very rare.
It's usually like in pubs around blokes. Blokes, please read
my book realize that this behavior is, yes, not great.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
We often ask on this podcast about a time the
world told you you'd be happy and you weren't. When
you kind of hear that, are there any moments that
come to mind?
Speaker 3 (24:12):
I think this is just across the board for everyone,
and it's definitely for me. When you do the thing
and when you get the thing, yeah, you're going to
be instantly happy. You know. Happiness is like sadness. It's
a fleeting thing that comes and girls. I was so
happy when I got Wicked because it completely changed my life.
(24:32):
But at the end of it, I remember this article.
I made an interview about me finishing the show and
was heading over to New York to go and do auditions,
and the person that interviewed me hadn't even seen the show. Wow,
I've done it for two years and the titles something
about Paris Hilton, rob might be catchy up was like, no, Rob,
it's not catching up with her. He's not even seeing
he's going to New York. I remember, like I was
(24:54):
meant to be so happy because I was finishing the show, like,
and I was so sad. I cried the whole day.
It was my last day at work.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
I was like, what is happening?
Speaker 3 (25:03):
Yeah, but going back to the other thing, Like you
will always think that you were going to be happier
when you get the thing, but you're not, And that's okay,
you are you should also. Actually, Georgie has been very
good about this because I have always lived in a
gig economy, so you do the gig and then you're
looking for the next gig. Always she's like, you got
to stop and celebrate the wins.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
So when you do, like right now you're in Anguliette,
there's something fascinating about being on stage, the adrenaline rush
you get, the being the center of attention, and then
right now, for example, are you living on your own
while Georgie's in Melbourne?
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Is there a bit of a calmdown?
Speaker 3 (25:44):
Yeah, I'm pretty lonely at the moment.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
Facetiming Georgia quite a lot, and then catching up with mates,
but there has to be early morning because a lot
of them go to work. You can go catch up
with someone on the weekend, but then you've got two
shows that on the Saturday, and then you got to
so you need to like this is that I'm extroverted,
so I do need outside energy from people energy vampire,
I'm not like that. But then you need to conserve
(26:07):
your own energy for the show because you need that
for the show to make sure you're not talking too
much because you need your voice to sing. It's a balance.
I think this will be my last one for a while,
just because of life circumstances, and I don't think I
can do the distance again. It's too hard. I've been
in Singapore, Perth and now Sydney, so for the better
part of a year we've lived apart.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Is it tricky wanting two things at once because from
the outside, yeah, it feels like you and Georgie are
obviously two people who Georgie, for anyone listening, is a
host on the project and is an established journalist in
her own right, and both of you are very career
(26:53):
focused and your careers are in two different places. I
can't imagine what that's like to navigate every decision knowing
that there's a very real cost. And I guess you're
pursuing something that makes you happy, but there's a big
component of it that challenges happiness.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
It's the and every psychologist will tell you this compromise.
It's the common promise that you make with your partner.
What is the common promise? What are the non negotiables
or the negotiables? And do we need to schedule in
time for us? What does that look like? Is it
in a Monday morning, is it after the show on
a Thursday night? You know? What does that look like?
(27:32):
How much contact hours can we have do we need
in order for us to maintain a healthy, lovely, sexy
relate like we're still young enough to you know, like
how do we do that bit of it? As well?
Georgie said, do not talk about our sex less. I
think I shared way too much in the last podcast.
(27:55):
It's difficult, but yeah, it's writing your lists and scheduling
your schedules, which is hard because we're both have schedules
done for us, and then it's like, all right, what
are our schedules? And that's yeah, that's so I was
tough because also she needs downtime and I need energy, so.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
She's trying to relax and you're like, hey, hey, yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
And then we talked about this with my psyche the
other day, and I think this is really important for
people who are doing long distance relationships or even just
couples who can't spend as much time as possible with
each other. When you come together, this is immense pressure
to make it a thing that it has to be
a date night and it has to be perfect, that
it has to end in this most wild and passionate
sex that we haven't had in ages, when really you
(28:42):
shouldn't put the pressure on it, because what if it's
just you just need to hang out with TV and
eat pizza and that's enough. Was in Melbourne the other
day and I reckon I fell asleep within half an
hour being on the couch, like it was the best
sleeve I've had in months. So maybe that's that's all
you need.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
When did you know that Georgie was different slash that
Georgie was the one?
Speaker 3 (29:08):
I think it was like after a couple of dates,
I was like, Oh, she doesn't like the thing that
we're in like it doesn't not like it, it just is.
It's not a I am not striving for more fame
or celebrity or for more things. This is just part
of my life, part of my job. And I loved that.
I was like, you don't meet many people now that
(29:30):
everyone's like how many followers, how many lives she get?
How many the world's obsessed with social media and your presence.
And I'm like, can't just be a job and then
can we just do other stuff that's not online and stuff?
And I don't think we even talked about it. I
think it's just the way she presented her world in
her life and talked about her friends. And I was like, oh,
(29:53):
you're like me. You're just like a little nerdy, like
he's just doing a good job and just wants the
world to be a good place, and like you like
good art and good movies and films. And I was like,
and you think deeply about things and you write it
down and we talk about her like, oh, and she
sent me some books. You gave me some books to
read while I was overseas. We started dating. I think
(30:14):
within a couple of months. I was on an overseas
trip with the Mate, which I was really planning on,
you know, having a good time, and I, God, damn,
I've been a really good one. She gave me on
the Jellico.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Road Oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, and The Perks.
Speaker 3 (30:30):
Of being a Wallflower and I read them on the trip.
It was like, these are very good books. Like it
was the one of the quote from Perks of Being
a Wallflower.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
We get the love we think we just serve yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:41):
And I was like, that's the one. Yeah, because if
you think that you're not great, you don't deserve love,
you're never going to get it, or we're going to
get a yuck kind of love. And I was like, oh,
that's you. Yeah, I think that was it. I was like, oh,
(31:03):
I found it.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
I found it.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
I'm crying, crying, thank you, thank you. See when I
talk about tunny mm wh she's pretty cute.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Hey, it's producer to Lissa here. There was so much
goodness in this interview we had to split it into
two parts, but don't worry. You can listen to the
second part of this interview right now. In the next part,
Rob Mills talks about his relationship with TV presenter Georgie
Tunney and gives us a snake pick into their wedding planning.
He also shares his thoughts on why it's so important
(31:35):
for men to open up about their mental health and
reflects on his journey with his own sexuality after years
of media speculation. Part two of Claire stephens interview with
Rob Mills is live now. There's a link in the
show notes.
So much.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
You're listening to a Muma Mia podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and
waters that this podcast is recorded on.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
I think this is just across the board for everyone,
and it's definitely for me. When you do the thing
and when you get the thing, yeah, you're going to
be instantly happy. You know. Happiness is like sadness. This
is a fleeting thing that comes and goes.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Hello and welcome to But are you happy? The podcast
that asks the questions you've always wanted to know from
the people who appear to have it all. Rob Mills
is actually my boyfriend? No he's not, But when I
was thirteen, I truly believed he was my boyfriend. Millsy
was on Australian idol and he was a bad boy,
(00:58):
which meant he sometimes wore eyeliner. The country fell in
love with him, and then he came out the other
side realizing he had been told who he was by
audiences without ever having the chance to work it out
for himself. You had that fame, you had kind of
that external success. Were you happier than you had been previously?
Speaker 3 (01:19):
No, it was way worse.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Now he's one of the biggest musical theater stars in
the country. I chat to Rob about the experience of
working out what it is you really truly want to do,
achieving it, and then having the media bring the focus
back to a fleeting moment from the past.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
I remember this article. I made an interview about me
finishing the show and I was heading over to New
York to go and do auditions, and the person that
interviewed me hadn't even seen the show. I've done it
for two years and the titles is ell of that
Paris Hilton.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
We also talk about his relationship with alcohol, the mental
health crisis facing men, and the magic of falling in love.
Here's my chat with Rob Mills. Rob Mills, You're an actor,
a singer, host and author. You've been a household name
(02:13):
for over twenty years since your time on Australian Idol
in two thousand and three. I was prime Australian Idol audience.
I was absolutely obsessed. I had your poster on my wall.
I would have been thirteen thirteen, so you're really knew
your demo. I've told Gorgie, I'm like, you're dating my boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
She did, Okay, it's fine between me. And Georgia contractual space.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Since then, you've had a solo music career as well
as primetime TV hosting gigs and a role on Neighbors,
and have gone on to become one of the biggest
names in Australian musical theater. You released your book in
twenty twenty two, and you're currently playing Shakespeare in the
Australian production of Anguliette, which I saw a few weeks ago.
That's the big picture stuff, bringing you back to the
(03:09):
present moment. How are you right now?
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Right now, I'm pretty good. I'm having a sweet treat
with some lovely humans here in the office. I was
up in about I caught up with a friend this morning.
Spoke to Georgie last night. When I got home. I
was like, that was really good little FaceTime. We're living
in separate cities at the moment. She's in Melbourne, I'm
in Sydney. If you asked me this a week ago, mate,
I was low as I've had this cold and sickness.
(03:34):
I was off work. I was having a really, really
tough time. If I've been brutally honest, I had suicidal
thoughts for the very first time in like seventeen years Wow,
on stage during a show, what I say suicidal thoughts.
I will also clarify this as a fleeting thought which
was clearly irrational. In the moment. There would have been
(03:55):
a lack of food in my stomach because of the
show schedule, but also just I was exhausted. I was
so tired. I miss Georgie, I miss life. Like I
work every single night. I give my heart and soul
to this production, which I love so much. But at
this moment of like, I just can't do this, and
I was like, why is my body failing me? Why
(04:16):
am I sore every day? Anyway, it was just this
really crazy moment last week, Mate, and I got on
the scooter on the way home calling Georgia. I'm like, oh,
this is very hard. I just so I was a mess,
an absolute mess. Anyway, the following day I was like,
I probably just needed a really big cry, and I'm
a big cry, Like it's releasing the pressure valve in
(04:36):
your life and you're like, ah, cool, cool, cool, feel better.
But at the moment, this week fantastic, And as I said,
it's just obviously a build up over over time. But yeah,
it was a really scary moment though, having not had
any of those kind of thoughts for many, many, many years,
and yeah, now feeling like, oh great, okay, I'm just exhausted. Sickness.
Does that makes you feel very irrational, like a sleep
(04:59):
makes you feel those things?
Speaker 1 (05:00):
You know this as a young one, Yes, And I've
always thought that. I notice every time I get sick,
like fluey or anything like that, I think I have depression.
And I think it is actually like inflammation of the
brain and that kind of thing, and you have to
remember that it passes, but in the moment it is
so distressing. In a moment like that where you're on stage,
(05:23):
do you feel almost trapped by the stakes of what
you're doing, like you can't stop.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Yeah, I mean there's the moment on stage like at
least I know I have the show. I can just
sit in this character for a bit longer. The character
gets yelled at by.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
His wife and you're probably like, don't yell met it worse.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
But also like I was, like, I just as I said,
rational Robbers, like you're doing the pit the character, and
then I see can't stop the feeling, and I'm like, oh,
I got the feeling I'm like, I've got this feeling
so funny feeling yeah, so funny, so strange. But there's
also the security of the character. I suppose if you're
not going out there, but doing the same thing over
(06:06):
and over again, can sometimes feel a bit like groundhog Day.
But like, luckily for me in this show, it is
full of joy and wonder and love and hope and
positivity and progressiveness. That's it ticks all these boxes you
said about feeling depression of there's where they gets thrown
around quite a lot. There are different levels of this.
There as new ones to any kind of sadness or
your ups and your downs. And I think if sometimes
(06:28):
people forget that it's okay to just be sad just
for a moment.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
I think it was that movie Inside Out. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that really cemented that for me. I was like, oh,
sadness just plays a really important role in your life.
You have to have sadness or else you can't have joy. Yeah,
and they have to be best friends. Well, they don't
have to be best friends, but you know, I mean, like,
it's okay to sit in the sadness for a bit.
If it goes on for a long time, It's definitely
worth seeking help and talking to friends and counselors or psychologists,
(06:52):
rabbi whoever you've got. But to diagnose yourself with depression,
I think is problematic. And I think a lot of
people go I'm depressed, Like go for a run. Did
you feel better after the run? You're probably just a
bit sad.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
And to acknowledge that it is just a state that
you move through, yeah, it stead of I think the
thing is when you feel really low, you tell yourself
it's forever and you cannot imagine your mood ever changing.
But the nature of being human is that we move
through all these different emotions in a day, and they
can be quite extreme.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Yeah, and for the people who are struggling with that, definitely, yes,
seek help. I'd put your hand up and say a
should not doing so well at the moment, and then
you might get some clarity from that. You're like, oh,
I was just in a moment and now I'm okay.
As I said, my thing the other night on stage
was just a moment. As I said, I'm pretty self aware.
Like I've done a lot of work with so collegists
over the years. I've got a great psychotherapist. Now in
(07:45):
that moment, I was like, yep, I was just having
a moment and knowing that I had that moment and
just knowing that I needed to talk to my person
and talk it through was yeah, quite confronting, but also
therapeutic for both of us as well.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
You were the heart throb of Australian idol.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Oh thank you?
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Were you twenty one when you're on that chain?
Speaker 3 (08:06):
I just turned twenty one. I was twenty with my
first audition. I turned twenty one before I went to Sydney.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
You go to Sydney, Well, I remember it's so vividly.
What did the public not see about that experience? Like
I can't imagine what the actual day to day reality
was of being on that show.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
We were really busy, Like there was so much publicity
and stuff that we had to do little stories every day,
Like the producers were pulling a left, right and center
to go and do stuff. And the singing was really
the small part of it. We're saying for a minute
and a half, And I found that really strange as
a kid who spent the last three years singing in pubs,
singing thirty forty songs a night, three or four nights
(08:45):
a week, I only have to sing for a minute
and a half. Sure, let's get a little bess Like,
it's so weird that.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
It was only a minute and a half. Yet to
audiences it felt like that was your whole week. It's
really strange looking back on it, that it was such
a fleeting moment and it would have been so easy
to stuff up that minute and a half.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
I remember thinking like afterwards, like, you know, people talk
about you fifteen minutes of fame. I actually calculated. I
was like, it literally was fifteen minutes of singing time
on stage. Wow, which is wild to be. What they
didn't see probably a precocious, super inquisitive young kid. I
think they sort of painted me a little bit as
the boy next door, maybe a party boy kind of guy,
which I kind of was as well. I also, I
(09:27):
spent the last three years singing in pubs. I didn't
really have weekends. My weekends were working. So it's the
first time I'd ever been in a plane before, first
time i'd like met all these new people, and I'm
super extroverted, so if there's people around, my energy is up.
So I spent so much time in the van with
the director and learning from the camera guys, talking to
the producers about what they were doing. I was super
(09:49):
inquisitive about how they're creating the show. And as soon
as I heard guy Sebastian Sing, I was like, what
am I doing here? It's like, what, I'm not going
to win? So I just remember going I'm here for
the ride.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
What was it like to go on a show and
develop this profile and then have people tell you who
you are before you know who you are?
Speaker 3 (10:12):
Yeah, I don't think it's healthy. Every time I've gone
and talked to kids at schools like and performing art schools,
whatever one teach workshops, and I get asked, you know,
would you recommend my daughter or do you recommend me
going on the shows? Like do you have a good
sense of self? They're like, I don't know what that is?
Is like no already. So if you have self confidence, great,
But I always talk about self worth, which is just
(10:32):
knowing what your value is or your integrity or your reputation,
and like, growing your self worth will lead to your
self confidence. So you know, read more books or like
listen to music and understand why you like these songs
or understand why they resonate with you, which is really
difficult to know all that stuff as a teenager. I
don't think your brain is quite developed yet. So yeah,
(10:54):
my advice is always try and work out who you
are as a person, which evidently will change over time
as well, but when you're younger it's much harder to
get it set. A sense of self, is it.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Something that you have even going into something like Australian
idol and the years before that when you're performing, do
you experience any jealousy or competitiveness or comparison in the context.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Of no, not, okay, how's this? This is weird not
in the real world, but when I see it online,
like if I'm on my phone, then I feel a
pang of jealousy or like fomo or whatever. Wow, So
it's really strange if I see it just in the world,
like I see like a performer perform, like this is amazing,
You're incredible. I never go I want to do that.
(11:41):
I'm like, you are doing that, so that's okay, you
are performing. That's fine. But like there's something about seeing
it online. I have a weird reaction to it. Every
now and again, I.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Kind of get that, like if I'm seeing somebody in
person and they're at their best. I have a weird
sense of that's you. You do you, I do me,
Whereas when I see something online, there's something about the
flattened sense of reality where you're not really seeing the
difference between who they are and who you are. You're
(12:11):
just making kind of a snap comparison. Yeah, I totally
get that good right, That's when I find myself feeling shit.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Yeah, I hadn't thought of that before. Yeah, you asked
me that question, but yeah, I think that's a strange phenomenon.
Hence why I've maybe deleted Instagram in the last week
and I'm having the best week. I just I just
don't care. It's not like I don't care, but like,
I've got a great job. You know, the marketing team
is doing a great job with the Angeliette stuff. People
know what I'm doing the show. At the moment, my
(12:40):
life is literally get up, do some exercise, and go
to the show. A lot of people want to know
how my day is. A lot of people don't want
to know about my day.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Because you grew up without social media, you were just yeah,
and because I'm very grateful that I grew up without it.
Have you kind of seen how that, especially in your industry,
how that plays with how you feel about yourself and
feel about what you do.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Yeah, it's a really weird one because most artists, entertainers,
or people have a creative people have a sort of
creative flair, but we also have this weird imposter syndrome
that comes with it. It's like the double edged sword maybe,
and I struggle with it at times. So like, I
love being part of the team. I grew up playing
team sports like baseball and cricket and footy and OZI rules,
(13:29):
I should point out, And I love being part of
the team. And a musical does that for me. Sometimes
I'm the back pocket player, small bit parts. Sometimes I'm
the full forward and being part of the teams are
like I can't do my job without the lighting person.
I can't do my job with that sound person. We're
all cogs in the machine, and I like being part
of that. Social media what it does is it's all you.
(13:53):
It's just you. Everyone is becoming their own brand, and
they see that's the only way to success these days,
not so much this is the way to be famous,
but this is the way to success. This is how
you make your money, this is how you get free things,
This is how you exist in the world. But like,
is it because we still exist in the world's world? Like,
how does that skill set make them a better person
(14:17):
or connects better with people? And I see it across
the board that so many are doing that at connecting
with people and they're becoming a community of people. But
I fear sometimes, Yeah, with social media, it just makes
you more narcissistic and it makes you more individualized, when
really we know scientifically it's been proven if you want
to live a longer, happier life. Community, yeah, real community,
(14:39):
real physical contact, real humans in the rooms together. All
this working from home stuff is just dispose my mind.
But like we need people, yeah, even introverts.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
I just yes, and I'm an introvert. But I think
that idea of there's a selflessness that comes into play
when you are a cog in a machine. I've noticed
it in the workplace a little bit. It reminds me
a lot of team sports, and I always say, I
reckon you can tell people who played team sports when
they were growing up, because when you're in a team
and you might say to somebody, hey, can you fill
(15:12):
in on that shift, like because so and so sick.
And there are two tapes of people. There's the person
who says, oh, yeah, I'm part of the team, and
I see what the team is working towards and that helps.
And then there's a person who's like, but that's inconvenient
for me. Why would I do that? And and it's
so interesting, and I can see in musical theater you
have to be that first type of person. You have
(15:32):
to be because you're working for such a long period
of time together. No one wants to work with that
person who's just in it for themselves, which is interesting
because at the same time you're a performer and you're
getting applauded at the end of the night.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
And it's should point. It's the only job in the world.
We finish a shift and someone goes someone it's the
weirdest jealous I just clocked off many years ago, and
I think I still think it's a good idea where
you go out and give standing innovations to people. When
they finish, their job will be at the office and
it will stand.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Up and chairs, well done, well done. I deserve it.
At the end of the day of parenting. If my
daughter could just give me a round of applause before
she goes to bed, that would.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Be Well, they just put it on the screen, or
like a have a flash mob of people that just
come with chairs. They just get up with everybody.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Everyone deserves. After the break, Rob tells us what happened
after Idle when he performed at a concert I was
incidentally at, and how getting the thing is not a
recipe for happiness. We also chat about his frustration with
the media's focus on his fleeing with a Hollywood celebrity.
(16:51):
You've gone from Australian idol, you become a household name,
you have a solo music career. Australia is obsessed with you.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Well, I wouldn't say obsessed. The album only went goals,
not even goals.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
There were a whole lot of people obsessed with you.
How do you not turn into a complete nasist? How
does that not totally?
Speaker 3 (17:14):
You can tell you right now. I've got two older
brothers and older cousins, and we're a pretty tight knit family.
Like I would say, my cousins are like brothers and
sisters to me as well. So my oldest brother, Chris,
he's very good at keeping me grounded. He'd never let
me get too big for my boots and just kept
it real. I would say sometimes to the point of,
like you can actually just give me some complience, like
(17:36):
it's just SOMEBM it's all be nice. No, but that
was really helpful. There was a weird period though, where
did I say my fame was lots, you know, during idle,
and I don't think he knew how to deal with that.
You know, you have a dynamic with your sister or
sibling or whatever, right one of you is more alfa.
You just sort of have the dynamic, right, And it
(17:58):
was weird because I became the more popular person and
I was like, oh, I don't sit well in this.
I'm a beata kind of person, right, Like I don't
know my personality, so I will fit whatever needs to
be fit, kind of like Georgie, we're the pretzel, right.
If you need a leader, I'll be your leader. But
I'm a reluctant leader. But I'm much happier being the wallflower,
joky person right than the leader type anyway, So that
(18:21):
shifted for a while where I was sort of I
don't know, knowing more about the world, but not knowing
more about the world than my brother. And then it
shifted back we started having kids, and then I was like, oh, great,
you can now be the guy.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
You can be the grown up.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
You can be the grown up. And now we've got
to an equilibrium of equalness, which is great. We talk money,
we talk kids, we talk all the adult stuff, which
is really really helpful. But yeah, there was a weird
period there which had to be acknowledged, you know, years
later with therapy. I was like, oh, cool, cool, cool,
that was what was weird. And we didn't really talk
about it until years later and go on our brother
walks and you know, oh, yeah, that was a weird time.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
When you do have this really public success. I always
think this really public success. I can imagine you go
to like family gatherings and everyone's like, I saw you
on the television, and you're getting a whole lot of attention.
Do you think it makes people around you feel like shit?
Do you think it made your brother feel actually?
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Possibly, No, he's pretty good at keeping his drive. I
think he was okay with it. I think it was
kind of like he would always say, you're my younger brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'm not Mills his brother.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Your Chris brother, which was always good at keeping it real.
We talked about this in the past and I think
he's always been okay, well, I think he's pretty proud,
but yeah, the family gatherings are weird because also people
ask you questions and you forget you also have to
ask questions, yep, yep. And I think I went through
a period of that where I just talked about myself
(19:42):
and this is probably through my twenties early thirties and
started getting therapy. I was like, oh, you're not a
good person. Not a good person, but you know, like
if you want more from people, you need to do
the work. It's weird because you're constantly on all the
time when you're doing a gig or post the show
or like and then you're like, I got I don't
have any more to ask of anyone else.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
It's weird with fame because people have kind of a
short it's like a a shortcut to intimacy, so people
know a sort of surface level things about you, so
there it's like a fast track to ask you certain questions.
And I notice it even with industry things that it's
really easy to go up to someone and say I
heard you on a podcast and connect with them, and
(20:26):
then you think, hold on, the person next to you
is just as interesting as you.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Correct and their plus one Yeah, exactly, all the plus
ones out there bloody love for you. Yes, And you
do a lot of heavy lifting yes for the friendship.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
And you think it's a bit dicky to kind of
only talk to this person who you have this surface
level of things that you know, did you find after idle,
you had that fame, you had that external success. Were
you happier than you had been previously?
Speaker 3 (20:55):
No, it was way worse. Like if you don't have
a good sense of self, you know, and everyone has
this sort of an idea of who you are and
you're just floundering, like but you're like, yeah, you're this party.
I'm like, I'm really not. And then you drink a
lot and then alcohol is a depressant and then you're like, okay,
this is also not good either. I don't want to
beat this party boy. This is a very sad place
(21:15):
to be. Also, no one knows who I am. I
don't know who am I. That was when I had
a pretty horrific moment if like that was the very
first time I thought about maybe just ended Robert, just
end it. When a hotel room in the Gold Coast
at Indie weekend after I got kicked off the show,
it was just terrifying, and we were calling my brother
(21:36):
and just need to hear a familiar voice and really
not knowing what I just felt, but it was definitely
a That balcony door was open and I ran to it.
I was like quickly slammed at short and I was like, oh,
this is a real panic attack, this is real. I
didn't tell my brother what had happened. I just needed
to hear his voice and he's like, yeah, I'm mistaid,
Indy having a good time. It's going great. Never again
(21:58):
will I ever lie to myself or yeah, especially to
my loved ones. That's why I called Georgie straightaway the
other day. So it was a happier No. Lots of
things were happening, you know. We did a tour of
like the Country and all the bigger I went, what
an amazing concert, right, it was so much fun great.
(22:20):
I was like it was just all these kids just
it was so great. We sold out Rod Labor, like
not as many times as Pink, but we did too.
Sold out shows at rod Labor. Yeah, we got paid
two thousand dollars a night. Amazing.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
You would have been like, I'm rolling in it.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
Oh my god? How much money did make.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Off your path?
Speaker 3 (22:40):
Oh my god?
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Have there been times where there's been negative attention on
you and you've felt it in your day to day life?
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Yeah? I still feel like a dick when someone mentions
Paris Hilton, especially if I'm with Georgie or I'm just out.
I'm like, oh, this is over twenty years ago for
someone I was with like a day, Like, yep, do
you want to talk about someone that you were with
in high school twenty years ago? What is this for?
Even if it's like a congratulatory thing, I find that toxic.
(23:14):
Yeah yeah, it's like great.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
And quite sexist, dehumanizing to her yeah yeah yeah and
me and.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
To Georgie, who's right here. Yeah that just always makes
me go ah yuck. And I think for a while
I was like, who am I with that? And I
was like, I want to be someone. I want to
be someone who's it has a good work ethic. I
want to be someone who performs, who entertains, who makes
people laugh, it makes people feel good. That doesn't make
(23:43):
me feel good, Like I'm working towards making people feel good.
Why are you? Why are you making me feel yuck? Yeah,
that's the only time. As I said, that happens very rare.
It's usually like in pubs around blokes. Blokes, please read
my book realize that this behavior is, yes, not great.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
We often ask on this podcast about a time the
world told you you'd be happy and you weren't. When
you kind of hear that, are there any moments that
come to mind?
Speaker 3 (24:12):
I think this is just across the board for everyone,
and it's definitely for me. When you do the thing
and when you get the thing, yeah, you're going to
be instantly happy. You know. Happiness is like sadness. It's
a fleeting thing that comes and girls. I was so
happy when I got Wicked because it completely changed my life.
(24:32):
But at the end of it, I remember this article.
I made an interview about me finishing the show and
was heading over to New York to go and do auditions,
and the person that interviewed me hadn't even seen the show. Wow,
I've done it for two years and the titles something
about Paris Hilton, rob might be catchy up was like, no, Rob,
it's not catching up with her. He's not even seeing
he's going to New York. I remember, like I was
(24:54):
meant to be so happy because I was finishing the show, like,
and I was so sad. I cried the whole day.
It was my last day at work.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
I was like, what is happening?
Speaker 3 (25:03):
Yeah, but going back to the other thing, Like you
will always think that you were going to be happier
when you get the thing, but you're not, And that's okay,
you are you should also. Actually, Georgie has been very
good about this because I have always lived in a
gig economy, so you do the gig and then you're
looking for the next gig. Always she's like, you got
to stop and celebrate the wins.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
So when you do, like right now you're in Anguliette,
there's something fascinating about being on stage, the adrenaline rush
you get, the being the center of attention, and then
right now, for example, are you living on your own
while Georgie's in Melbourne?
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Is there a bit of a calmdown?
Speaker 3 (25:44):
Yeah, I'm pretty lonely at the moment.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
Facetiming Georgia quite a lot, and then catching up with mates,
but there has to be early morning because a lot
of them go to work. You can go catch up
with someone on the weekend, but then you've got two
shows that on the Saturday, and then you got to
so you need to like this is that I'm extroverted,
so I do need outside energy from people energy vampire,
I'm not like that. But then you need to conserve
(26:07):
your own energy for the show because you need that
for the show to make sure you're not talking too
much because you need your voice to sing. It's a balance.
I think this will be my last one for a while,
just because of life circumstances, and I don't think I
can do the distance again. It's too hard. I've been
in Singapore, Perth and now Sydney, so for the better
part of a year we've lived apart.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Is it tricky wanting two things at once because from
the outside, yeah, it feels like you and Georgie are
obviously two people who Georgie, for anyone listening, is a
host on the project and is an established journalist in
her own right, and both of you are very career
(26:53):
focused and your careers are in two different places. I
can't imagine what that's like to navigate every decision knowing
that there's a very real cost. And I guess you're
pursuing something that makes you happy, but there's a big
component of it that challenges happiness.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
It's the and every psychologist will tell you this compromise.
It's the common promise that you make with your partner.
What is the common promise? What are the non negotiables
or the negotiables? And do we need to schedule in
time for us? What does that look like? Is it
in a Monday morning, is it after the show on
a Thursday night? You know? What does that look like?
(27:32):
How much contact hours can we have do we need
in order for us to maintain a healthy, lovely, sexy
relate like we're still young enough to you know, like
how do we do that bit of it? As well?
Georgie said, do not talk about our sex less. I
think I shared way too much in the last podcast.
(27:55):
It's difficult, but yeah, it's writing your lists and scheduling
your schedules, which is hard because we're both have schedules
done for us, and then it's like, all right, what
are our schedules? And that's yeah, that's so I was
tough because also she needs downtime and I need energy, so.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
She's trying to relax and you're like, hey, hey, yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
And then we talked about this with my psyche the
other day, and I think this is really important for
people who are doing long distance relationships or even just
couples who can't spend as much time as possible with
each other. When you come together, this is immense pressure
to make it a thing that it has to be
a date night and it has to be perfect, that
it has to end in this most wild and passionate
sex that we haven't had in ages, when really you
(28:42):
shouldn't put the pressure on it, because what if it's
just you just need to hang out with TV and
eat pizza and that's enough. Was in Melbourne the other
day and I reckon I fell asleep within half an
hour being on the couch, like it was the best
sleeve I've had in months. So maybe that's that's all
you need.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
When did you know that Georgie was different slash that
Georgie was the one?
Speaker 3 (29:08):
I think it was like after a couple of dates,
I was like, Oh, she doesn't like the thing that
we're in like it doesn't not like it, it just is.
It's not a I am not striving for more fame
or celebrity or for more things. This is just part
of my life, part of my job. And I loved that.
I was like, you don't meet many people now that
(29:30):
everyone's like how many followers, how many lives she get?
How many the world's obsessed with social media and your presence.
And I'm like, can't just be a job and then
can we just do other stuff that's not online and stuff?
And I don't think we even talked about it. I
think it's just the way she presented her world in
her life and talked about her friends. And I was like, oh,
(29:53):
you're like me. You're just like a little nerdy, like
he's just doing a good job and just wants the
world to be a good place, and like you like
good art and good movies and films. And I was like,
and you think deeply about things and you write it
down and we talk about her like, oh, and she
sent me some books. You gave me some books to
read while I was overseas. We started dating. I think
(30:14):
within a couple of months. I was on an overseas
trip with the Mate, which I was really planning on,
you know, having a good time, and I, God, damn,
I've been a really good one. She gave me on
the Jellico.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Road Oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, and The Perks.
Speaker 3 (30:30):
Of being a Wallflower and I read them on the trip.
It was like, these are very good books. Like it
was the one of the quote from Perks of Being
a Wallflower.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
We get the love we think we just serve yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:41):
And I was like, that's the one. Yeah, because if
you think that you're not great, you don't deserve love,
you're never going to get it, or we're going to
get a yuck kind of love. And I was like, oh,
that's you. Yeah, I think that was it. I was like, oh,
(31:03):
I found it.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
I found it.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
I'm crying, crying, thank you, thank you. See when I
talk about tunny mm wh she's pretty cute.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Hey, it's producer to Lissa here. There was so much
goodness in this interview we had to split it into
two parts, but don't worry. You can listen to the
second part of this interview right now. In the next part,
Rob Mills talks about his relationship with TV presenter Georgie
Tunney and gives us a snake pick into their wedding planning.
He also shares his thoughts on why it's so important
(31:35):
for men to open up about their mental health and
reflects on his journey with his own sexuality after years
of media speculation. Part two of Claire stephens interview with
Rob Mills is live now. There's a link in the
show notes.
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