Episode Transcript
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(00:05):
What if we're all justwalking each other home?
Have you ever had an amazingsummer night hanging around
with a really amazing friend
talking until it was a littlelater than you expected?
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And maybe you don't live far from thisfriend, maybe like four or five blocks,
and it's time for you to go home
and your friend says,let me walk you home.
And you're like, no,no, no, no, that's okay.
It's like, what an inconvenience.
You're gonna walk all the waythere and then you're gonna
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have to about walk back alone.
No, I'm okay.
Are your friends?
No,
I wanna walk you home.
And you think about how that nice,that would feel that somebody,
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they want to have some moretime with you, they want to
hang out with you a little more.
You know,
because they've just hadsuch a great night with you.
And you're starting torealize how important you are
to this other human being.
And inside you know how all,you already know how important
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that human being is for you.
And as you're walking home, you justfeel taken care of, you feel safe.
You feel like there's something sospecial about you that somebody else sees.
That maybe, maybe you should look alittle deeper and see what they see.
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And as you chat,
time just flies
and they get back to your front door.
I'm gonna give you one incredible hug.
And you watch them walk awayand they're skipping and smiling
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and you wonder, how do I havethat impact on another human being
because I'm just me.
I don't, I don't understand.
I, I think we all downplay who we arefor other people, but if you look at the
people around you, they know who you are.
This is why.
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They're in your life.
This is why they reach out.
This is why they wantto hang around with you.
This is why they want to beyour friend because there's
something so special about you
and probably one of the mostattractive qualities about you is
the fact that you don't get that.
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Because you know, in my life, I'venoticed one thing for sure, it's the
most amazing people I've ever met don'thave a clue of how amazing they are.
They just are.
You have these traits too.
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Think about life, right?
Okay, so
I'm an introvert.
I quite an intro introvert andI, in, in my, in, in my job,
I'm very extroverted, right?
Like my energy is very extroverted, but Iprefer to work with one person at a time.
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I prefer to be around one personat a time, or very small numbers.
I mean, when I was young, I really,I, I battled with this because.
I just wasn't comfortable in crowds andlike a lot of people trying to like drag
the energy from a conversation and I justdon't wanna, I just kind of sit there and
be quiet because like, just don't wannafight for the energy of conversation.
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Maybe meet one person, whichwho's really cool and just
like focus on them all night.
That was kind of my jam.
But you know, even though I'man introvert and I do realize.
In, in this fact that, andit's not a negative thing,
it's just I don't need anyone.
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I don't need people I don't like,I don't have to have people,
but there are certain people in mylife who I powerfully choose to have
in my life because there's somethingabout them, which is so great.
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That I can overcome mynatural way of being
to make sure I have them in life.
I choose powerfully chooseto have them in my life.
So if you are in my life, what you needto understand is there's something so
incredible about you that I am overcomingmy nature to keep you in my life.
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And think about life, right?
Like, think about all the tough timesthat we're going through, you know, and
the different relationships we have.
Like there's work relationshipsand there's friendships and there's
relationships that some, um, are for ashort time and some last a whole lifetime.
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Think about the profession you choose.
There's a lot of people in helping proceprofessions, and I'd like to think that
people in helping proce professionsare people who've been through a lot
and they understand, you know, probablyhave a deeper understanding of what
it feels like to be hurt, to be alone.
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And they chose to not let that liketurn into something negative, but they
chose to go into profession where theycould help people, other people not feel
alone, like hard times, develop thisincredible compassion in human beings.
Like this is, this is who I am
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and.
These people, depending on theprofessions like nursing, depending on
where you could be, you could be in,
you know, um,
end of life care.
And literally in end of life care, youare walking these human beings home
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because home is.
When we move from thisexistence to whatever's next,
but also think about thepeople who've, you know,
been in your life for a short time,some of them having a rough struggle,
and then you showed up and kind ofhelped them out for a little while,
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and maybe some of them moved on.
Through your life.
There was other people who showedup when you were having the toughest
time and they probably came andthey walked with you for a while
and sometimes they passed you on to thenext human being and so on and so forth.
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I remember when I was in, inDublin traveling, um, backpacking
Europe and I got to Dublin.
And I bought a map and I'm lookingat a map and somebody walks up to
me and grabs a map outta my head,you don't need a map in Dublin.
I'm like, okay, so how am I gonnafind my way to where I'm going?
He's like, where are you going?
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I'm going to the use house over here.
He's like, ah, come on,I'll take you over there.
And we're walking and chatand where you're from and saw
my Canadian flag and so on.
He's just walking me to the youth Hostly.
And then we get halfway there and he bumpsinto a woman going in the right direction.
He says, ah.
Are you going over box of youth also?
And she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can you take this young manand drop him off over there?
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And she's like, it's a cultureof walking, walking people home.
I remember when I worked in a restaurantin Nanaimo and there was there, uh, one
of the waitresses, she just lived twoblocks away, but like, it's the middle
of the night, three in the morning.
I just walk her to her front door.
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Not expecting anything, not tryingto get anywhere with the person
just because I felt comfortableknowing that they were safe.
Think about the human beings that thatchoose to be in your life for a long time,
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and.
When you're young, it's probably,if you're a runner, these, these
are the amazing human beings thatyou like go for runs with and do
workouts with and have fun with.
And yeah, maybe get into slight troublewith probably not significant trouble.
Athletes are usually pretty goodat avoiding trouble, and as you
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get older and maybe you're not socompetitive and you start growing
up, these are the people who show up.
Like, think of this.
This is, this is oneof the thoughts I had.
Um, one of my young patients, reallyincredibly intelligent human being,
um, a little bit mature beyond heryears, doesn't really feel like
she connects with her direct crowd.
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And she was like, one time, she's like,you know, when am I gonna find my people?
And a lot of the athletes I've met, like.
Especially the really good ones.
Uh, maybe not the team athletes, but
the individual athletes that are socommitted to running and probably
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pretty committed to educationand, and gaining knowledge.
Um, I don't think ma many of them reallyfit in where they were or, you know,
they had people in their lives, but.
But did they really feel likethey fit with these people?
Because if you think of it, they'rereally incredible athletes out there.
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They're pretty few and far between.
And so when you're in a high school,there's probably not a ton of you.
Like how many high school athletes moveon to something bigger afterwards there.
There are some.
But maybe not as many as you'd expect.
So if you're, you're in the city andsay, who knows, say one in 10,000.
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So you're living in a one in 10,000situation, and the people around you, they
get that you're really into your sport.
But.
They don't understand why, like whywould you spend all the time doing that?
Like, what about having fun?
What about drinking?
Like go party on the weekends and,and you're like going to bed early
and you're running in the morningand you're going to like races or
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meets or competitions over and overagain and like you're eating healthy.
You're just, you, you have this wholedifferent focus and they just can't
understand what is wrong with you.
And eventually you probably feel the same.
Like, like what is, like why am I solike, why don't I connect with anyone?
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And this is because you're extraordinary.
And then with any luck, you move up,uh, you get onto a university team
and suddenly you take this countryof 40 million people and you get
all these one in 10,000 people.
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In the same place,
and suddenly you just fit.
You don't have to explain yourself.
People get it and they supportit, and they want to go for the
run first thing in the morning,and they want to get to bed early.
They want to be around you.
You guys run together and like there,there's this, there's this, um, research
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that says if you do a workout or longrun with, or, you know, if you do your
weight training with other people,your perceived intensity goes down 30%.
So like you fit with these people,you spend your time with your people,
you embrace with these people.
You go through your hard moments.
Like, like one of theathletes I know have.
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It had a really tough, tough, toughyear and yet even though they were
injured and couldn't run, they showedup to pretty much every practice
to support their friends, toto support their teammates.
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If that isn't walkingeach other home, what is.
And when people are having a really toughtime, there's a, there's a crew of people
one on one, like one by one connectingwith that person to make sure they're
okay and reminding that person that, Hey,
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you'll get your way through.
You'll make it through this.
We're here with you.
I know one of, one of the athletes Iwork with was one of their close friends.
Another athlete was havinga tough time, and they were
like, I don't know what to say.
I really don't.
And I'm like.
You know,
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number one, tell them you care.
Just make sure they know.
And number two, tell 'em they're not alone
in my practice, in my office.
I feel like there's, you know, athletes,some athletes have been with me for
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a very long time, like 2015, and somecome for a certain amount of time
and move on, and some even move onfrom sports, but keep on coming in
and in a way with every one of them,through all them, the troubles, all the
times I feel like I'm walking them home.
And maybe their temporary homeright now is working towards
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something huge and maybe succeeding.
And then maybe like, okay, now, youknow, extraordinary human beings.
They'll, they'll, they'llexceed expectations.
They'll do something extraordinarylike, okay, what's next?
I'm ready for the next and thenext, and the next and the next.
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And just walking them.
Walking them through life challenges,through loss of, of relationship,
through loss of super close friends,
spending moments where
the emotion hits me and I cry with them,
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offering them a shoulderto crying if they need.
These are the ways we walk each other home
and think about these amazing humanbeings that you meet through, through
these teams, through, you know, maybeyou get into a really intensive,
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like educational program, and that'syour cohort, that's your team.
And these are the human beings thatyou make close connections with.
These are the human beingsthat will be with you.
They'll be walking you home too, right?
Through all of life's things, you know?
These are the people who will showup for, for your bachelor party
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or bachelorette party, and theywill be there for your wedding.
They'll be there for thebirth of your first child.
These are people will maybe even showup for the graduation of your child.
Maybe they'll be the aunt, the coolaunt that takes your 17-year-old
daughter out to have a, a drink,
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or maybe they're the, the cool auntthat goes running with them and
teaches them something cool about.
What's what, what's, what'spossible as a human being?
Like there may be a confidant,a trusted ally, a friend, maybe
they just have a ear, right?
Like there's so many ways we justtake care of each other in this life.
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I,
and then as life gets a little bitold, older, maybe they'll be there
for the loss of family members, maybe.
Maybe loss of a spouse, hopefullynot, but possibly loss of a child.
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And they'll be there through the tears.
And there was a time whenyou ran really fast and then
you came down to the po,you jogging together.
And over time, maybe you guysare just walking and you can
see the timeline just going.
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The calendar flipping page afterpage after page until two little
old bitties walking with canes,laughing about the good times.
And then one day one of you guys passed.
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And in the past passing of the memory,you realize that this whole time.
You two were walking each other home
and you just go back to that moment whenyou were over on the summer night and
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your friend said, let me walk you home.
And you said, okay.
And that last five blocks were probablythe one of the best times of that evening.
And the hug at your door
and then watching that person youlove walk away with a skip in their
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step, and you can just imagine thesmile on their face and it hits you
that their joy is becoming comingthrough them because they got to spend.
This little bit more time with you
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and it makes you question
what did they see?
And if you have a negative self opiniona little bit, maybe you start to
question that and understand that thereis something so special about you.
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That people will in thislifetime walk you home.
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(20:44):
Have an amazing day.