April 23, 2025 • 26 mins
Episode 73: Embracing the Flow of Life: Finding Your True Path
In this episode of 'Conversations with Kimen,' the speaker reflects on their personal journey of resisting life's natural flow. They discuss the concept of free will and argue that while we may not have complete control over our paths, there is a predetermined, beautiful path meant for each of us. The episode highlights the importance of surrendering to life's flow, recognizing and taking opportunities, and understanding that setbacks are often disguised blessings. Through personal anecdotes and practical advice, the speaker encourages listeners to stop resisting, embrace the present, and trust that everything happens for a reason, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling life.
00:00 Introduction: Embracing the Flow of Life
00:59 The Concept of Free Will and Life's Path
04:38 Personal Struggles and Realizations
06:58 Surrendering to the Flow
14:59 Living in the Present Moment
19:05 Relationships and Personal Growth
23:42 Conclusion: Trusting the Journey
26:15 Outro and Podcast Information
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
Stepping into the flow of life.
I don't know if you're a lot likeme or not, but I know I spent a
lot of my life kind of resisting,
resisting the patterns that showedup, resisting the cycles that repeated
(00:27):
themselves over and over again.
Fighting against, almost fightingagainst the current, battling
my way to where I wanted to go,
not realizing that there wasactually a path, probably
(00:49):
there was a way thingswere supposed to work out.
Now, if you've heard of.
I, if you heard of free will, my takeon free will is probably a little
different than the, the average.
I don't really believe thatwe have completely free
will to do whatever we want.
(01:11):
I do believe, however, there is a paththere, there is a beautiful path for us
and, and its amazing Path is the most,
the most on point.
W we could ever live our life, and yet wetend to get in the way of that thinking
(01:31):
that we need to go in another direction,
and so we end up fighting upstreamand struggling and sometimes
getting exhausted and breaking down.
Like I said, there isfree will in a sense.
(01:54):
And it really doesn'tmatter what you believe.
If it's the universe decidedthe path, God decided the path.
Or even you decided the path beforeyou came here, and then you forgot it
so you could learn the full lesson.
There is a number of incrediblethings that are supposed to happen
(02:15):
in our lives, and yet they don'thappen exactly as we how we expect.
You ever notice that?
That things don't always turn outexactly how you wanted to, how you
expect them to, but so often theyturn out way better than you thought
they were going to in the moment.
(02:36):
And I think that's how life works.
So like I said, free will is not thefree will to do whatever we want.
There is a path, there's a destinationthat we're going to take in this life.
And we can go willingly or unwillingly,and that's where the free will comes in.
(03:00):
You can fight it kicking andscreaming, but if you get honest
with yourself, you can see it.
There's some times when you justdid not want to do a certain thing,
and yet it kept on coming up andcoming up and coming up and coming
up until you finally gave in,
(03:20):
and then.
Things started to flow.
You know, if you think of it likethere is a flow to this life,
and you can only enter it when you startgiving up, number one, give up who you
think you are because you have no ideawho you are or what you're capable of.
(03:48):
Anything you believe, any way youbelieve that I'm only capable, I'm
capable of this, um, this is who I am.
Anything, you know, to be thetruth, a fact about yourself
limits you to that fact.
If you re, if you listen to a numberof my episodes, I keep on breaking down
these facts, like trying to reframe.
(04:12):
Take a different look, lookfrom a different perspective.
Change the way you look at things,the things you look at change.
Do you really wanna hold on so strongly?
Be tenacious and stubbornabout who you are.
If it's gonna hold you backfrom the ultimate life,
(04:32):
honestly, it's not gonna stop you.
You're gonna get there.
Trust me, I know this for a fact.
I mean, for many, many years Iresisted the fact that I needed to
do something that was helping people.
I needed a job that would focuson helping people every day.
And yet, because I didn't think I wassmart enough to go back to school, or I
(04:53):
don't know if I was lazy or just afraidor you know, I was, I was dyslexic, so
it was gonna be difficult, and I didn'tknow if I was up for the challenge.
Um, financially I was never in thisincredible great spot where I could
actually just drop everything, goback to school and recreate my life.
(05:15):
So I start, I was going down a differentpath and it, it was great 'cause
like everything kept on going up.
I got this job, I wentwell, I got some education.
Moved up into a higher position, gotmore money, uh, kept on working hard.
Got invited, um, to apply to abig job, a big important job.
And I thought, oh, here,this is, this is it.
(05:38):
This is, this is how life is.
This is going great.
And it was the most stressful thing inmy life because the truth is I knew for a
fact that I needed to be doing somethingin this life that actually helped people,
but I thought.
(05:59):
Happiness would come by having aposition with a title and, uh, look at
how important I am now and boy was Imistaken, most stressful moment of my
life and the biggest blessing of my life.
Like I said, there's a path you're gonnago down, you can go willingly or you
(06:19):
can go unwillingly, but you're going.
And that's what happened.
The universe life, me, whatever it was.
Uh, put me in the cardiac wardand I sat there and I said, okay,
so this is how it ends.
(06:42):
And I just said to whoever's there in myhead, like, God, universe, whatever, if
anybody's listening, get me out of this.
And I promise I'll find out.
I'll figure out what I'm supposed to do.
I basically decided to finallys surrender to the flow.
(07:04):
And then one of the ways you canreally recognize you're in the
flow is that when you wa startwalking down a path to towards
something and there's no obstacles,
and this is how it was.
So of course I decided Iwas gonna go back to school.
(07:26):
Um, f found out that my Englishscore wasn't good enough.
Um, but I decided to keep on pursuingthis and I looked in the prerequisites.
They said, if I can achievean LPI one, which is language
(07:46):
proficiency index one, I didn'tknow what that was at the time then.
That will be a good substitutefor the grade in English I needed
in order to enter the program.
So I googled LPI one and thefirst thing that came up was LPI
instructor in Vancouver, Craigslist.
(08:08):
Ad pressed on it, clicked on thefirst one, dialed the number.
She answered right away.
You tutor the LPI, she said Yeah.
How much do you charge?
$20 an hour.
Wow.
That's pretty fair.
Um, when could I start?
She said.
Well, I had a cancellationfor in 20 minutes.
If you can be here then,then we can start now.
(08:31):
And I started and that's how it went.
I, I went and did the introductionto Massage therapy weekend to see
if this was something I could do.
And sure enough, by the end of the firsthalf of the day, I was, yeah, this is it.
Everything worked out as Iwas going down this path,
(08:57):
and I mean, I wasn't confident at all.
I worked really hard, but I achievedhonor roll every term, and at the end
they made me basically the valedictorian.
They called it the heart award,and the heart award was for
academic achievement, but even moreimportant, showing unconditional
positive regard for everyone.
(09:21):
You see, I think, I think we think,
I think we think we knows what, knowswhat, know what's best, you know?
And yet, so, I mean, we get sostubborn that we, we start banging
our heads against the wall and justkeep on banging our head and banging
our head and banging our head.
(09:44):
And maybe there's a different path.
Which can only be seen when westart looking around, right?
When one door of opportunitycloses, another one opens.
But if you keep on looking atthat door that just closed, then
you're never gonna see the path.
Although, I mean, don'tget too disheartened.
It doesn't matter how stubbornwe are, like me, right?
(10:07):
Going on in a, in a job with a title,because I thought that may be important.
And the universe said, you gaveme a poke life, gave me a poke.
God gave me a poke, my higher self,gave me a poke, whatever it was, said,
no, you need to be doing somethingto make a difference in the world.
(10:29):
Come on, get to work,get to work, get to work.
And then it knocked me on the ground.
So I truly believe that no matterwhat you're going through in life,
you cannot miss the big thing.
The big things are gonna happen anyway.
They're, they're predestined andyou could fight your way all to
'em, like all the way to 'em, endup in the cardiac ward like I did.
(10:53):
Or you can recognize thedoors that are opening
and that doesn't mean if you'requestioning whether or not you're on
the, the right path, that you shouldjust make a decision and change because.
Yeah, usually what happens is youare exactly where you need to be.
(11:18):
This is the flow.
You're exactly where I'll say it.
I'm exactly where I need to be,exactly when I need to be there.
'cause if I didn't needto be there, I wouldn't.
And if there comes a point inthis lifetime where I'm no longer
supposed to be there, you'll endup in the cardiac ward like me.
Well, hopefully not that bad.
(11:42):
It all works out.
All that stuff you're worried about,all that stuff you're scared about.
It works out.
It really does, and it all, whenit works out, it works out so much
better than you could have imagined.
You know, sometimes something happenswhich delays, but that delay is such an
important delay because if you really,if you sat there being upset about how
(12:07):
everything was going wrong and didn't juststay present in the moment, you might miss
some incredible things that happened andthey can only happen because of the delay.
Right.
Sometimes your body as an athleteis taking a sabbatical to recover in
order to peak in the right few years.
(12:28):
That would lead up to thebiggest races of your life.
And yet if you're sitting here thinkingI'm cursed or not good enough, or like,
I'm, I'm not healthy enough, it's gonnabe a hard ride through that moment.
But if you can have a mantra, likeeverything happens for a reason,
(12:54):
and I don't see it yet, but Itrust that it's for greater good.
That's the flow.
See, when you're living in the flow,
it's, it's pretty wild.
You miss a bus.
You open your eyes, look around.
'cause like, hey, if something strangehappens that breaks the rhythm of your
life, this is the perfect opportunityfor some incredible synchronicity.
(13:18):
And synchronicity is likea meaningful coincidence.
This is the moments you can meetthe most impa, important and
incredible people in your life.
I remember, um, I was flying back from.
From a competition in Port of Strain,Spain Trinidad, where I was the massage
(13:39):
therapist and I was, some, a guy camewearing some Team Canada gear and
I'm wearing Team Canada gear and he'slike, Hey, where are you coming from?
I'm like, oh, I just coming fromPort of Spain, Trinidad, I was with
Athletics Canada, uh, um, for theWorld Half Marathon Championships.
It's like, oh, that's cool.
You, you're a runner.
I'm like, no, no, no, no.
I'm, I'm only, I'm, I'monly the massage therapist.
(14:03):
And he's like, there's no suchthing as only the massage therapist.
The, I should introduce myself.
I'm, I'm the coach of theNational Women's Volleyball team
and it's really interesting 'causethat connection made a connection
with a sports psychologist I know.
And that, and which made a connectionwith the Sports MD who, um, I, I work
(14:28):
collaboratively with a lot of patients.
And, uh, it opened up a door to goand work with the National Women's
Team, um, at the Olympic Oval inVancouver, uh, for a number of seasons.
See,
when, when life, when you'rein the flow, things just really
(14:50):
work out in really cool ways
and you know, the stuff.
It is, it's really incredible.
Like being in the flow isalmost like being present.
I've talked about it before.
If, if you think about
the majority of time we're walkingaround, distracted like a floating head,
(15:17):
and when you, that is definitelynot in the present moment.
Because you don't feelyour feet on the ground.
And one of the techniquesyou can use to get, like, get
yourself present to the moment.
Uh, and it's not airy fairy magic.
It's, it's just called grounding, right?
And it's simple as like feeling the,there's ground underneath your feet
(15:40):
and you just stop and press your feetinto the ground until you know you have
feet and you're aware of your feet.
And something really cool happens.
Say if you tried this whenyou were anxious, right?
Anxious because fear, worry, anxietydoesn't live in the present moment.
It lives in the past.
Whereas you think something that'shappened in the past, you're heading back
(16:03):
into it or in the future, like there'ssome big scary thing that could happen
or would happen or should happen, andthat's where all the anxiety happens.
But then if you're sitting in thatmoment of that fear and you start
pressing your feet into the ground.
Yeah.
Until you, you're present with the factyou have feet, you can actually feel
(16:23):
the pressure of feet on the ground.
Suddenly, a lot of that'll dissipate.
You'll become, you'll come into thispresent moment and you'll realize that
like all you were doing was thinking aboutwhat could happen, what should happen,
what would happen, what might happen.
But in the moment, there's none of that.
(16:45):
When you're living in the flow, there's,there's not a lot of fear and or anxiety.
I mean, things pop up,but they don't last long.
You know, because if you think of itin this present moment, in this very
present moment, as you're listeningto my voice right now, you are holding
complete, you're lacking nothing.
(17:05):
You're fed, you'reclothed, you have shelter,
and in fact.
Yeah, in every single moment,we have everything we need.
The only place we lack isin the past of the future.
If you think of,
like, one of the things aboutliving in the flow is you realize
(17:29):
that everything works out.
You know, because you think about everysingle problem that you've ever had.
That's now in the past.
They all have one thing in common.
There was a solution becauseit's in the past, right?
It's with solved.
And if you get really honest about howit worked out compared to how concerned
(17:53):
you were that it might work out well,what you were worried about, what, how
it worked out were very different things.
It worked out so much betterthan you thought it would.
So when you're living a life in the flow,a good question yourself is like when
you walk, come up against a problem.
Is, how is this different from anyother problem I've ever had in my life?
(18:15):
And there is no difference.
If there'll be a solution, thesolution will be better than
you think it is in the moment.
So in the flow, there's notno worries of an anxiety.
Also, like I said, you know, if you'reworried that you're in a relationship
that you should end, or if you're ina job, you should leave or anything.
(18:38):
If you're sitting there wondering.
If you're in the right place, if you couldreally come back to understanding that
you are always exactly where you need tobe, exactly when you need to be there.
Because if you didn't needto be there, you wouldn't.
And if there ever comes a time when you'renot supposed to be there, you won't.
(18:58):
The job will naturallycome to a conclusion.
Your relationship will naturally cometo a conclusion if it's supposed to.
And if you think about therelationship you're in right now.
The relationship you're in right now,or the lack of relationship you're
in right now is interesting, right?
So the lack of relationshipis probably, um, this is time
(19:23):
for you to work on yourself
because you're probably connectedto the person you're supposed to
be with, and if you start takingup and working on yourself.
You start raising your energy, youalso raise the energy of the person
that you're supposed to be with.
(19:43):
That's an interesting concept.
Hey, I'm gonna take the lead.
Now if, if you haven't met themyet, it's one of two things, you
still have some work to do, or maybethey still have some work to do.
And sometimes you'll meet theperson, but it's not the right time.
(20:04):
When I met my wife, Patricia,
I really wasn't ready for a relationship.
I was still working on myself.
I had a lot of, lot of stuffto figure out and sort out.
So when I met her, I like, I instantlyknew this is somebody I could
spend my the rest of my life with.
And then when she said she wasengaged to be married, I was like.
(20:27):
I was planning on being amonk, so that's another story.
Um, so that's okay.
It was like, I need this person inmy life and I'll let them define it,
but I do need this person in my life.
And later in life she was like,oh man, I wish I wasn't with
that guy when, when I met you.
(20:47):
And I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, no.
That was perfect.
He was holding the space for me.
Until I could get my shit together, tillI could live into the man who I needed
to be, to be in a relationship with you.
So literally, if you're not in arelationship, you're, it's either you
working towards yourself, this is the flowyou're working yourself towards being that
(21:11):
person who would be in that relationship,and maybe the other person is doing
the same so you guys haven't met yet.
Or if you meet andthey're in a relationship.
Maybe that person's a placeholderto, so you can finish your work.
So you can be the person that can bein the relationship with that person.
(21:32):
And then on top of that, like ifyou're in a relationship, same.
Same
if you are in a relationship, thisis either the relationship of your
life or it's the placeholder untilthe person you're meant to spend,
spend your life with is ready.
Or you're ready to meetthem, that's of low.
(21:56):
You can't force the flow.
Try, try, go go into a river and try toswim upstream and see how far you get.
And you, if you're a really strongswimmer, like most of us are,
most, most of the battle and battleand battle we're really tough.
We could go for a long time in an up,in an up current swim, but eventually
(22:18):
you're gonna be wasted, wiped out.
And maybe you'll get a little awayand then you'll fall back and you get
a little away and you'll fall back.
And that's like, that's life, right?
The lesson will continue over andover and over until you learn it.
If you want to live a lifein the flow, learn faster
(22:45):
so you can move on to the next.
It is like this quote I, Italked about, uh, recently in
another one of my episodes.
It was like, what if you knew fora certain, like this is the flow
in when you're living in the flow.
You know for sure that the ultimate lifeyou have is just a number of setbacks
(23:07):
away between you and that ultimate life.
Just a number of setbacks.
Think about if you're living in theflow, you're just gonna fly through
those setbacks and you're not.
'cause there's only a finite numberof these before you hit that life.
(23:28):
And you're not gonna look back in therear view mirror after that is gone.
You're gonna be like, bring on thenext, bring on the next one closer.
One closer.
One closer until one day you're there.
That's me right now, right here inthis office on a day off recording
a podcast episode, knowing thatI'm going back to work tomorrow.
(23:52):
I had a run this morning.
My life is in the flow
and I know right now that my, I am, I'mhere for a purpose and I know that if.
Something changes like this isnot my purpose anymore, that
there'll be something better.
(24:13):
That's the other thing about the flow.
You don't go from better to worse.
You go from better to better, to better,to better when you're in the flow.
And if you're not in the flow, youcan go from better to worse, to
worse, to worse to worse until youlet it go and go to the better.
Take a deep breath, becomepresent, understanding that all.
(24:37):
Problems have solutions and theyalways work out better than we thought.
You are exactly where you need to be.
Exactly when you need to be there.
'cause if you didn't needto be there, you won't.
And if you, if there ever comes atime in your life where you don't
need to be where you are, you justnatural, it'll just naturally change.
This is life in the flow.
(25:01):
This is when you see.
Uh, setbacks as ticking off onemore, coming closer and closer.
And you, you, when you, whensomething goes wrong, you don't get
upset and frustrated, you go, oh,maybe there's something cool coming.
Let's keep my eye out.
Because what you focus on expand.
If you are looking for, if you'rereally, really looking for these
(25:25):
opportunities, you're gonna see them.
Understand that there is an amazing lifeahead of you and that you have free will,
that you can go to your ultimate lifekicking and screaming and saying, I want
it this way, or you can go willingly.
(25:45):
I sure hope.
You don't spend as much of your lifefighting, kicking and screaming as I
did, like trying to convince the worldthat I sucked and I didn't have any
value on this earth, and all I was wastaking up a certain amount, uh, like
displacing a certain amount of air tillI died that I was so wrong about that.
(26:07):
Anything negative, you believeabout yourself, you're wrong.
Step into the flow.
Thanks for listening.
Thank you for listening to thisepisode of conversation with Kimen.
Please follow me on Instagramat conversations with Kimen
(26:28):
and feel free to direct message me.
Also, please share my podcast withanyone you may feel would benefit
from its content and let them know.
And you can find me atconversations with Kimen on Apple
podcasts, Spotify, and Podbean.
(26:51):
Have an amazing day.
Stepping into the flow of life.
I don't know if you're a lot likeme or not, but I know I spent a
lot of my life kind of resisting,
resisting the patterns that showedup, resisting the cycles that repeated
(00:27):
themselves over and over again.
Fighting against, almost fightingagainst the current, battling
my way to where I wanted to go,
not realizing that there wasactually a path, probably
(00:49):
there was a way thingswere supposed to work out.
Now, if you've heard of.
I, if you heard of free will, my takeon free will is probably a little
different than the, the average.
I don't really believe thatwe have completely free
will to do whatever we want.
(01:11):
I do believe, however, there is a paththere, there is a beautiful path for us
and, and its amazing Path is the most,
the most on point.
W we could ever live our life, and yet wetend to get in the way of that thinking
(01:31):
that we need to go in another direction,
and so we end up fighting upstreamand struggling and sometimes
getting exhausted and breaking down.
Like I said, there isfree will in a sense.
(01:54):
And it really doesn'tmatter what you believe.
If it's the universe decidedthe path, God decided the path.
Or even you decided the path beforeyou came here, and then you forgot it
so you could learn the full lesson.
There is a number of incrediblethings that are supposed to happen
(02:15):
in our lives, and yet they don'thappen exactly as we how we expect.
You ever notice that?
That things don't always turn outexactly how you wanted to, how you
expect them to, but so often theyturn out way better than you thought
they were going to in the moment.
(02:36):
And I think that's how life works.
So like I said, free will is not thefree will to do whatever we want.
There is a path, there's a destinationthat we're going to take in this life.
And we can go willingly or unwillingly,and that's where the free will comes in.
(03:00):
You can fight it kicking andscreaming, but if you get honest
with yourself, you can see it.
There's some times when you justdid not want to do a certain thing,
and yet it kept on coming up andcoming up and coming up and coming
up until you finally gave in,
(03:20):
and then.
Things started to flow.
You know, if you think of it likethere is a flow to this life,
and you can only enter it when you startgiving up, number one, give up who you
think you are because you have no ideawho you are or what you're capable of.
(03:48):
Anything you believe, any way youbelieve that I'm only capable, I'm
capable of this, um, this is who I am.
Anything, you know, to be thetruth, a fact about yourself
limits you to that fact.
If you re, if you listen to a numberof my episodes, I keep on breaking down
these facts, like trying to reframe.
(04:12):
Take a different look, lookfrom a different perspective.
Change the way you look at things,the things you look at change.
Do you really wanna hold on so strongly?
Be tenacious and stubbornabout who you are.
If it's gonna hold you backfrom the ultimate life,
(04:32):
honestly, it's not gonna stop you.
You're gonna get there.
Trust me, I know this for a fact.
I mean, for many, many years Iresisted the fact that I needed to
do something that was helping people.
I needed a job that would focuson helping people every day.
And yet, because I didn't think I wassmart enough to go back to school, or I
(04:53):
don't know if I was lazy or just afraidor you know, I was, I was dyslexic, so
it was gonna be difficult, and I didn'tknow if I was up for the challenge.
Um, financially I was never in thisincredible great spot where I could
actually just drop everything, goback to school and recreate my life.
(05:15):
So I start, I was going down a differentpath and it, it was great 'cause
like everything kept on going up.
I got this job, I wentwell, I got some education.
Moved up into a higher position, gotmore money, uh, kept on working hard.
Got invited, um, to apply to abig job, a big important job.
And I thought, oh, here,this is, this is it.
(05:38):
This is, this is how life is.
This is going great.
And it was the most stressful thing inmy life because the truth is I knew for a
fact that I needed to be doing somethingin this life that actually helped people,
but I thought.
(05:59):
Happiness would come by having aposition with a title and, uh, look at
how important I am now and boy was Imistaken, most stressful moment of my
life and the biggest blessing of my life.
Like I said, there's a path you're gonnago down, you can go willingly or you
(06:19):
can go unwillingly, but you're going.
And that's what happened.
The universe life, me, whatever it was.
Uh, put me in the cardiac wardand I sat there and I said, okay,
so this is how it ends.
(06:42):
And I just said to whoever's there in myhead, like, God, universe, whatever, if
anybody's listening, get me out of this.
And I promise I'll find out.
I'll figure out what I'm supposed to do.
I basically decided to finallys surrender to the flow.
(07:04):
And then one of the ways you canreally recognize you're in the
flow is that when you wa startwalking down a path to towards
something and there's no obstacles,
and this is how it was.
So of course I decided Iwas gonna go back to school.
(07:26):
Um, f found out that my Englishscore wasn't good enough.
Um, but I decided to keep on pursuingthis and I looked in the prerequisites.
They said, if I can achievean LPI one, which is language
(07:46):
proficiency index one, I didn'tknow what that was at the time then.
That will be a good substitutefor the grade in English I needed
in order to enter the program.
So I googled LPI one and thefirst thing that came up was LPI
instructor in Vancouver, Craigslist.
(08:08):
Ad pressed on it, clicked on thefirst one, dialed the number.
She answered right away.
You tutor the LPI, she said Yeah.
How much do you charge?
$20 an hour.
Wow.
That's pretty fair.
Um, when could I start?
She said.
Well, I had a cancellationfor in 20 minutes.
If you can be here then,then we can start now.
(08:31):
And I started and that's how it went.
I, I went and did the introductionto Massage therapy weekend to see
if this was something I could do.
And sure enough, by the end of the firsthalf of the day, I was, yeah, this is it.
Everything worked out as Iwas going down this path,
(08:57):
and I mean, I wasn't confident at all.
I worked really hard, but I achievedhonor roll every term, and at the end
they made me basically the valedictorian.
They called it the heart award,and the heart award was for
academic achievement, but even moreimportant, showing unconditional
positive regard for everyone.
(09:21):
You see, I think, I think we think,
I think we think we knows what, knowswhat, know what's best, you know?
And yet, so, I mean, we get sostubborn that we, we start banging
our heads against the wall and justkeep on banging our head and banging
our head and banging our head.
(09:44):
And maybe there's a different path.
Which can only be seen when westart looking around, right?
When one door of opportunitycloses, another one opens.
But if you keep on looking atthat door that just closed, then
you're never gonna see the path.
Although, I mean, don'tget too disheartened.
It doesn't matter how stubbornwe are, like me, right?
(10:07):
Going on in a, in a job with a title,because I thought that may be important.
And the universe said, you gaveme a poke life, gave me a poke.
God gave me a poke, my higher self,gave me a poke, whatever it was, said,
no, you need to be doing somethingto make a difference in the world.
(10:29):
Come on, get to work,get to work, get to work.
And then it knocked me on the ground.
So I truly believe that no matterwhat you're going through in life,
you cannot miss the big thing.
The big things are gonna happen anyway.
They're, they're predestined andyou could fight your way all to
'em, like all the way to 'em, endup in the cardiac ward like I did.
(10:53):
Or you can recognize thedoors that are opening
and that doesn't mean if you'requestioning whether or not you're on
the, the right path, that you shouldjust make a decision and change because.
Yeah, usually what happens is youare exactly where you need to be.
(11:18):
This is the flow.
You're exactly where I'll say it.
I'm exactly where I need to be,exactly when I need to be there.
'cause if I didn't needto be there, I wouldn't.
And if there comes a point inthis lifetime where I'm no longer
supposed to be there, you'll endup in the cardiac ward like me.
Well, hopefully not that bad.
(11:42):
It all works out.
All that stuff you're worried about,all that stuff you're scared about.
It works out.
It really does, and it all, whenit works out, it works out so much
better than you could have imagined.
You know, sometimes something happenswhich delays, but that delay is such an
important delay because if you really,if you sat there being upset about how
(12:07):
everything was going wrong and didn't juststay present in the moment, you might miss
some incredible things that happened andthey can only happen because of the delay.
Right.
Sometimes your body as an athleteis taking a sabbatical to recover in
order to peak in the right few years.
(12:28):
That would lead up to thebiggest races of your life.
And yet if you're sitting here thinkingI'm cursed or not good enough, or like,
I'm, I'm not healthy enough, it's gonnabe a hard ride through that moment.
But if you can have a mantra, likeeverything happens for a reason,
(12:54):
and I don't see it yet, but Itrust that it's for greater good.
That's the flow.
See, when you're living in the flow,
it's, it's pretty wild.
You miss a bus.
You open your eyes, look around.
'cause like, hey, if something strangehappens that breaks the rhythm of your
life, this is the perfect opportunityfor some incredible synchronicity.
(13:18):
And synchronicity is likea meaningful coincidence.
This is the moments you can meetthe most impa, important and
incredible people in your life.
I remember, um, I was flying back from.
From a competition in Port of Strain,Spain Trinidad, where I was the massage
(13:39):
therapist and I was, some, a guy camewearing some Team Canada gear and
I'm wearing Team Canada gear and he'slike, Hey, where are you coming from?
I'm like, oh, I just coming fromPort of Spain, Trinidad, I was with
Athletics Canada, uh, um, for theWorld Half Marathon Championships.
It's like, oh, that's cool.
You, you're a runner.
I'm like, no, no, no, no.
I'm, I'm only, I'm, I'monly the massage therapist.
(14:03):
And he's like, there's no suchthing as only the massage therapist.
The, I should introduce myself.
I'm, I'm the coach of theNational Women's Volleyball team
and it's really interesting 'causethat connection made a connection
with a sports psychologist I know.
And that, and which made a connectionwith the Sports MD who, um, I, I work
(14:28):
collaboratively with a lot of patients.
And, uh, it opened up a door to goand work with the National Women's
Team, um, at the Olympic Oval inVancouver, uh, for a number of seasons.
See,
when, when life, when you'rein the flow, things just really
(14:50):
work out in really cool ways
and you know, the stuff.
It is, it's really incredible.
Like being in the flow isalmost like being present.
I've talked about it before.
If, if you think about
the majority of time we're walkingaround, distracted like a floating head,
(15:17):
and when you, that is definitelynot in the present moment.
Because you don't feelyour feet on the ground.
And one of the techniquesyou can use to get, like, get
yourself present to the moment.
Uh, and it's not airy fairy magic.
It's, it's just called grounding, right?
And it's simple as like feeling the,there's ground underneath your feet
(15:40):
and you just stop and press your feetinto the ground until you know you have
feet and you're aware of your feet.
And something really cool happens.
Say if you tried this whenyou were anxious, right?
Anxious because fear, worry, anxietydoesn't live in the present moment.
It lives in the past.
Whereas you think something that'shappened in the past, you're heading back
(16:03):
into it or in the future, like there'ssome big scary thing that could happen
or would happen or should happen, andthat's where all the anxiety happens.
But then if you're sitting in thatmoment of that fear and you start
pressing your feet into the ground.
Yeah.
Until you, you're present with the factyou have feet, you can actually feel
(16:23):
the pressure of feet on the ground.
Suddenly, a lot of that'll dissipate.
You'll become, you'll come into thispresent moment and you'll realize that
like all you were doing was thinking aboutwhat could happen, what should happen,
what would happen, what might happen.
But in the moment, there's none of that.
(16:45):
When you're living in the flow, there's,there's not a lot of fear and or anxiety.
I mean, things pop up,but they don't last long.
You know, because if you think of itin this present moment, in this very
present moment, as you're listeningto my voice right now, you are holding
complete, you're lacking nothing.
(17:05):
You're fed, you'reclothed, you have shelter,
and in fact.
Yeah, in every single moment,we have everything we need.
The only place we lack isin the past of the future.
If you think of,
like, one of the things aboutliving in the flow is you realize
(17:29):
that everything works out.
You know, because you think about everysingle problem that you've ever had.
That's now in the past.
They all have one thing in common.
There was a solution becauseit's in the past, right?
It's with solved.
And if you get really honest about howit worked out compared to how concerned
(17:53):
you were that it might work out well,what you were worried about, what, how
it worked out were very different things.
It worked out so much betterthan you thought it would.
So when you're living a life in the flow,a good question yourself is like when
you walk, come up against a problem.
Is, how is this different from anyother problem I've ever had in my life?
(18:15):
And there is no difference.
If there'll be a solution, thesolution will be better than
you think it is in the moment.
So in the flow, there's notno worries of an anxiety.
Also, like I said, you know, if you'reworried that you're in a relationship
that you should end, or if you're ina job, you should leave or anything.
(18:38):
If you're sitting there wondering.
If you're in the right place, if you couldreally come back to understanding that
you are always exactly where you need tobe, exactly when you need to be there.
Because if you didn't needto be there, you wouldn't.
And if there ever comes a time when you'renot supposed to be there, you won't.
(18:58):
The job will naturallycome to a conclusion.
Your relationship will naturally cometo a conclusion if it's supposed to.
And if you think about therelationship you're in right now.
The relationship you're in right now,or the lack of relationship you're
in right now is interesting, right?
So the lack of relationshipis probably, um, this is time
(19:23):
for you to work on yourself
because you're probably connectedto the person you're supposed to
be with, and if you start takingup and working on yourself.
You start raising your energy, youalso raise the energy of the person
that you're supposed to be with.
(19:43):
That's an interesting concept.
Hey, I'm gonna take the lead.
Now if, if you haven't met themyet, it's one of two things, you
still have some work to do, or maybethey still have some work to do.
And sometimes you'll meet theperson, but it's not the right time.
(20:04):
When I met my wife, Patricia,
I really wasn't ready for a relationship.
I was still working on myself.
I had a lot of, lot of stuffto figure out and sort out.
So when I met her, I like, I instantlyknew this is somebody I could
spend my the rest of my life with.
And then when she said she wasengaged to be married, I was like.
(20:27):
I was planning on being amonk, so that's another story.
Um, so that's okay.
It was like, I need this person inmy life and I'll let them define it,
but I do need this person in my life.
And later in life she was like,oh man, I wish I wasn't with
that guy when, when I met you.
(20:47):
And I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, no.
That was perfect.
He was holding the space for me.
Until I could get my shit together, tillI could live into the man who I needed
to be, to be in a relationship with you.
So literally, if you're not in arelationship, you're, it's either you
working towards yourself, this is the flowyou're working yourself towards being that
(21:11):
person who would be in that relationship,and maybe the other person is doing
the same so you guys haven't met yet.
Or if you meet andthey're in a relationship.
Maybe that person's a placeholderto, so you can finish your work.
So you can be the person that can bein the relationship with that person.
(21:32):
And then on top of that, like ifyou're in a relationship, same.
Same
if you are in a relationship, thisis either the relationship of your
life or it's the placeholder untilthe person you're meant to spend,
spend your life with is ready.
Or you're ready to meetthem, that's of low.
(21:56):
You can't force the flow.
Try, try, go go into a river and try toswim upstream and see how far you get.
And you, if you're a really strongswimmer, like most of us are,
most, most of the battle and battleand battle we're really tough.
We could go for a long time in an up,in an up current swim, but eventually
(22:18):
you're gonna be wasted, wiped out.
And maybe you'll get a little awayand then you'll fall back and you get
a little away and you'll fall back.
And that's like, that's life, right?
The lesson will continue over andover and over until you learn it.
If you want to live a lifein the flow, learn faster
(22:45):
so you can move on to the next.
It is like this quote I, Italked about, uh, recently in
another one of my episodes.
It was like, what if you knew fora certain, like this is the flow
in when you're living in the flow.
You know for sure that the ultimate lifeyou have is just a number of setbacks
(23:07):
away between you and that ultimate life.
Just a number of setbacks.
Think about if you're living in theflow, you're just gonna fly through
those setbacks and you're not.
'cause there's only a finite numberof these before you hit that life.
(23:28):
And you're not gonna look back in therear view mirror after that is gone.
You're gonna be like, bring on thenext, bring on the next one closer.
One closer.
One closer until one day you're there.
That's me right now, right here inthis office on a day off recording
a podcast episode, knowing thatI'm going back to work tomorrow.
(23:52):
I had a run this morning.
My life is in the flow
and I know right now that my, I am, I'mhere for a purpose and I know that if.
Something changes like this isnot my purpose anymore, that
there'll be something better.
(24:13):
That's the other thing about the flow.
You don't go from better to worse.
You go from better to better, to better,to better when you're in the flow.
And if you're not in the flow, youcan go from better to worse, to
worse, to worse to worse until youlet it go and go to the better.
Take a deep breath, becomepresent, understanding that all.
(24:37):
Problems have solutions and theyalways work out better than we thought.
You are exactly where you need to be.
Exactly when you need to be there.
'cause if you didn't needto be there, you won't.
And if you, if there ever comes atime in your life where you don't
need to be where you are, you justnatural, it'll just naturally change.
This is life in the flow.
(25:01):
This is when you see.
Uh, setbacks as ticking off onemore, coming closer and closer.
And you, you, when you, whensomething goes wrong, you don't get
upset and frustrated, you go, oh,maybe there's something cool coming.
Let's keep my eye out.
Because what you focus on expand.
If you are looking for, if you'rereally, really looking for these
(25:25):
opportunities, you're gonna see them.
Understand that there is an amazing lifeahead of you and that you have free will,
that you can go to your ultimate lifekicking and screaming and saying, I want
it this way, or you can go willingly.
(25:45):
I sure hope.
You don't spend as much of your lifefighting, kicking and screaming as I
did, like trying to convince the worldthat I sucked and I didn't have any
value on this earth, and all I was wastaking up a certain amount, uh, like
displacing a certain amount of air tillI died that I was so wrong about that.
(26:07):
Anything negative, you believeabout yourself, you're wrong.
Step into the flow.
Thanks for listening.
Thank you for listening to thisepisode of conversation with Kimen.
Please follow me on Instagramat conversations with Kimen
(26:28):
and feel free to direct message me.
Also, please share my podcast withanyone you may feel would benefit
from its content and let them know.
And you can find me atconversations with Kimen on Apple
podcasts, Spotify, and Podbean.
(26:51):
Have an amazing day.
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