March 11, 2025 • 29 mins
When your pet receives a life-changing diagnosis, everything shifts—not just for them, but for you as their caregiver. Whether it’s a chronic condition, a difficult-to-manage illness, or a terminal diagnosis, knowing what to expect and how to adapt can bring clarity, confidence, and peace of mind.
In this episode, Karen Wylie and Gail Pope explore:
- The three types of life-changing diagnoses and what they mean for your pet’s care
- How to gather the right information from your vet (and why you shouldn’t rely on Google!)
- The emotional impact of caregiving and how your role shifts over time
- Practical tips for medication, mobility, and monitoring your pet’s condition
- The importance of tracking symptoms and communicating with your vet
- Why self-care is just as important as caring for your pet
This episode is packed with insights, real-life experiences, and expert guidance to help you navigate this journey with knowledge and compassion.
Thanks for listening! Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review 🐶⭐🐱
Learn More from BrightHaven Caregiver Academy For free resources, upcoming workshops, and a supportive community dedicated to navigating life with your aging or ill pet:
- Visit our website: brightpathforpets.com
- Join us on Youtube: www.youtube.com/@brighthaven_animals
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- Instagram: @brightpathforpets
Disclaimer: This content is for educational purposes and not a substitute for professional advice.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Welcome to Peace of Mind for Pet Parents, the podcast by BrightHaven Caregiver Academy.
I'm Gail Pope and I'm Karen Wylie.
And together we're here to support you in navigating life with your aging or ill pets.
We know how deeply you care for your beloved companions, and we're here to offer guidance, understanding, and resources for this meaningful journey.
(00:25):
Each episode we'll explore topics that address the daily challenges, emotional realities, and choices you face as a pet parent helping you and your pets find peace, comfort, and joy.
Whether it's making sense of a new diagnosis, adjusting to changing needs, or simply seeking a place to feel understood, you're not alone.
(00:47):
Thank you for being here with us.
Karen Wylie (00:51):
Hello and welcome to
Peace of Mind for Pet Parents.
Today we're going to take a look at what a life-changing diagnosis is all about and how it changes not just your pet's life, but your own.
And Gail, I was thinking that we could start with the life changing diagnosis in general because we've identified three different types of diagnoses.
(01:21):
The ones that identify a chronic condition that our pet might have, diagnoses that are difficult for us to manage and then those that will ultimately be terminal and be what our pets die from.
And yet each of those different diagnoses requires each of us to think through what we're going to do differently or so that we can, approach it in needed ways and, and figure out how those changes are gonna affect all of us.
(01:56):
So
in thinking, let's just talk about life changing diagnoses in general.
What are some of the things that are different for a pet parent when they receive, we'll just think of the chronic or difficult to managed diagnoses?
What's different for them?
What do they need to start doing differently?
Gail Pope (02:17):
I think that's a huge question because there, there is so many different things and it depends on the type of diagnosis.
It depends on the type of illness.
It could be something that's easy to manage but affects mobility, which can bring more problems.
There are just so many different ones.
I think we may have to narrow our conversation even down to
(02:44):
where and how is that diagnosis given.
How much do you know about the diagnosis?
What's been going on with the animal?
Have you been to the vet?
Obviously, I would imagine.
Yes, you've been to the vet, you've had diagnostics.
Now you've got your diagnosis.
Do you have your vet to be able to talk about it?
Have, has the clinic sent you an overview?
(03:04):
Can you talk on the phone with your vet? I think when we turn the clock back, perhaps a few decades to, what I've been used to always was talking it through with my vet and them giving me advice, me being able to ask questions and
feeling a lot more comfortable, maybe not always very comfortable, but feeling, at least afterwards, that I have a feeling,
(03:27):
I understand where we are and what my next step is.
But these days I hear very often that people are given the diagnosis by email with a covering note.
But when they call with questions, that's good in some respects 'cause it gives you time to think.
However, if you don't have, say for instance, if you're given the diagnosis at the clinic while you are there with your animal, hopefully you've got pen and paper or they can give it to you and you can think of the questions you really need to have answers to and knowing you won't remember them
(04:01):
write them down.
It just goes on and on.
I diverted a little bit there, but I think contact with the veterinarian or the practitioner to get as much information before you really sit down to decide what you're gonna do and what's the way forward because there are so many different types of diagnoses.
Karen Wylie (04:22):
You're absolutely right, of course.
And the information that each of us get or don't get is so different.
And if at least information is provided in an email.
Then the disease is spelled out and sometimes there's a PDF attachment that has a brief description of the disease or the condition.
(04:49):
gives you some guidelines to begin considering.
But I know from talking with many clients, they literally hear a 13 syllable official disease name spoken, but it's not written down anywhere.
They get to check out and it's just a listing of the services provided that day that you're paying for, but there's nothing on the receipt that says the name of the disease.
(05:16):
And so, I think it can put
many of us in a situation where it's not, for me, it's not a panic situation because I do see myself as a consumer and I feel like I'm paying for services and I'm gonna ask a lot of questions.
But for many people they just feel stuck because they don't even know how to spell the disease or condition.
(05:43):
And so I think that's probably the first thing as you're saying, is that we, every one of us that receives a diagnosis on our pets needs to be clear about exactly what that diagnosis is.
Gail Pope (05:55):
Yes, and then they can start to think about what it means for them and their animal.
It's a partnership on the journey going forward and everybody has a part, but the animal, you sometimes you have to make a decision about, I don't know,
do you need a second opinion?
Do you need to see a specialist?
And maybe there are so many different types of diagnoses from the,
(06:20):
"oh, it may be one pill a day for a week and we should be okay."
And it may be a diagnosis that brings a lot more questions and a lot more actual testing, perhaps.
Karen Wylie (06:32):
Yes.
Gail Pope (06:32):
And then perhaps a specialist advice for surgery or no surgery.
I mean it's really hard to forecast.
We all have this innate fear that runs as a thread through our lives and whatever diagnosis is, that little fear word comes up.
What changes is it gonna make?
Oh my God.
And depending on the diagnosis, it can be a huge surge of fear.
(06:53):
Is he going to die?
What can I do?
What can't I do?
And having someone's hand to hold through those kinds of journeys, it can be really invaluable.
And sometimes a specialist actually will turn out to be almost that person because they're so well versed and generally can take more time.
Karen Wylie (07:11):
Yes.
Gail Pope (07:12):
They're not quite so pressured generally
Karen Wylie (07:14):
yeah, I think that I can agree with that.
I believe that regardless of what the diagnosis is, and as we're saying, first thing is we absolutely need to make sure we know what it is.
Hopefully getting that information from the clinic rather than sourcing it out on Google.
As we all start, we begin to panic and we begin to say, "oh my God, what's gonna happen to my baby?" And we're searching the net and trying to become experts on the disease, which isn't usually a good use of our time.
(07:45):
But it's always going to involve more observation and more monitoring.
You know, even something like a stage one or stage two kidney disease diagnosis is going to
require changing the diet a little bit.
(08:07):
Pushing a little bit more wet food rather than dry food, for example.
It's not at a stage where you need to consider subcutaneous fluids or something, you can start looking at hydration and monitoring food and the type of food that you provide more carefully.
So even something like that, which is, generally for, even for humans, of course our, the efficiency of our kidneys decreases over time.
(08:36):
So that's not, telling someone that their cat, for example, has lessening kidney function, it's a stage one or stage two.
It's not a crisis.
They're not at death's door, but there are things to begin doing differently.
Gail Pope (08:52):
Yes, without doubt.
Definitely.
That's in itself is a big issue because now we've got the holistic approach and we've got the conventional approach and which way are we going to go?
And a lot of people are focused on one or the other.
But to me, sitting in the middle of those two options is the discussion about are we seeking a cure or are we seeking healing?
(09:17):
What does each bring us?
And is this an illness that we can actually cure, or is it that we need to offer healing for the highest good of the animal for whatever the future holds for them?
And it may be a much longer life than ever anticipated, or it may be a shorter one.
Karen Wylie (09:38):
And I know you and I have both been fortunate enough to.
Get some difficult diagnoses.
For me, kidney disease and cardiomyopathy come to mind.
But I can have those animals for years.
Just hearing what a diagnosis is not always a cause for panic.
Gail Pope (10:00):
Exactly.
Karen Wylie (10:01):
But a change in what we do and how we do it.
Gail Pope (10:03):
And that's another thing, and it's not something that many of us can easily manage to control.
But saying that x, y, Z diagnosis is or isn't a cause for panic, that's where we need to start with ourselves.
Because none should be a cause for panic.
We need to be able to control, it's like, "okay, talk myself off the ledge first." let me just think because we can't, you can't think clearly if you step into panic and fear.
Karen Wylie (10:32):
Yeah, true.
Gail Pope (10:32):
So that's the hard part because we are all, these are our children.
These are our family members and they can't speak for themselves and we have to speak for them.
So there's added responsibility there.
I think diagnoses of any kinds, so many people are scared of taking an animal to the vet. I know I am, especially when you have a chronically ill animal and you are worrying ahead of time that they're gonna find something that you haven't noticed or just is, aren't realizing.
(10:59):
So yes, they can be really stressful.
Karen Wylie (11:03):
Yes, they can be.
Any of them can be, especially, with some of these diagnoses.
You don't see a change in your animal's body or condition, but the blood work is going to be telling you a different story.
That there is change happening and if, unless you intervene in some way in two or three months or sooner, you'll begin to see a lackluster coat and a weight loss and that sort of thing.
(11:31):
So I guess that is one of the things perhaps more frequent visits to the vet would be happening once you have a diagnosis.
Because your vet is gonna be focusing on what's happening inside your pet's body.
And each of us is gonna be focusing on what we're seeing day to day through behavior and hydration and food.
But that's the partnership that can be what allows a long or longer period for your pet is good communication between you and your vet where you're both sharing the information that you uniquely are collecting.
Gail Pope (12:05):
Exactly and I think I was just sitting here listening to you and realizing how very, I was gonna say lucky I am, but there are.
A lot of people who have the same kinds of relationship that I do, because I work, as you probably know by now, primarily with classical veterinary homeopathy, and so I have the wonderful ability to schedule a Zoom conversation with my vet and discuss things.
(12:32):
Then I have a local clinic who are also holistic.
They work very integratively and they're not opposed to homeopathy and so we have this wonderful arrangement where I can work with both and I can learn from both.
And, our aim, our goal in the middle is healing for the highest good.
(12:54):
And that helps, that totally helps me to keep more relaxed, even though I have a deep worry, particularly about one of my animals.
But it allows the animal in turn to not see worry going on in me all the time.
Because our animals know us better than we know ourselves.
We know, we are worrying about this, that, or the other, and we've got a lineup of 10 different pills we've got to give you.
(13:20):
We start to worry about all sorts of things that may or may not be happening.
Their behavior will change and they will start to respond to our anxiety.
It's tough being a mother.
Karen Wylie (13:35):
It sure is.
It sure is.
Just you mentioning about, the 10 pills however many when your pet receives any kind of diagnosis, it's likely to involve some kind of medication, which could be a pill or could be liquid and so that's a skill.
Also, people have to learn because it's different for cats versus dogs.
(14:00):
It always amazes me how easy it is that all the pills for dogs are palatable to the dog.
They gobble it up like a treat.
And those of us with cats, it's a little more difficult shall we say.
It's the kind of thing and then of course the history of your animal as to how they're going to take to this new routine of controlling them.
(14:24):
'cause you have to control, especially a cat, you're controlling in various ways.
Either where they're going to be for you to give the pill or how you're gonna grip the nape of their neck or this sort of thing.
So those are skills that people have to learn.
So that when they do talk to their vet, they're able to say, that their pet has had 10 days of the antibiotic or had 10 days of a new pill that's being tried and the pill's actually gone down
(14:56):
noting not frothing at the mouth and spitting it out, and then you're like, "oh my God, is there enough there to try it again?"
Gail Pope (15:04):
You're really lucky in that respect that over the years compounding pharmacies have become much more popular and much more used and utilized for particularly I think for the cats.
Felines are notoriously difficult to give meds to.
However, if it tastes like something flavorful like tuna or salmon or whatever flavor they've made it.
(15:27):
That's a huge breakthrough I think for cat parents.
Karen Wylie (15:30):
For those of you that are close to those compounding pharmacies,
I think, where I am in Appalachia,
the compounding pharmacies are an hour to an hour and a half away in any direction.
So it's not quite as easy for me to get.
But then, the prescription could be sent in and then mailed to us.
I know there are those kinds of compounding veterinary pharmacies as well these days.
Gail Pope (15:51):
Yes, I know my vet works with a compounding pharmacy very well known.
I think there's one, obviously very well known one that a lot of vets use.
And BrightHaven actually our rescue, have our own account with a compounding pharmacy who work directly with a bigger corporations are all joining together, I think now.
So whenever something's prescribed for the most part, you will have the option to think about if I can't give him that pill, what can be done to that pill to make it taste good, so he'll just take it.
(16:23):
So he'll pretend he's a dog.
Karen Wylie (16:26):
That's not gonna work.
Yeah, I've learned to have my it's like my own little pharmacy, but it's not really pharmacy, but I'll have my Gerber's baby food and my temptations treats and a variety of things that once I'm pilling and I always prefer to use my finger rather than the the official pillars.
But, sometimes the treat has to, is not just coating the pill, but is gonna come after the pill.
(16:50):
So that even if they're enduring the pilling, there's
Gail Pope (16:53):
yes, there's a treat after.
Karen Wylie (16:54):
Yeah, there's a treat afterwards.
But each of them is gonna be different.
And so that's all these things that we're describing or mentioning, it's gonna be different for every pet in every decision everybody makes.
I think one of the differences too, when we.
Step into becoming a caregiver for our pet is that in some ways we become their emotional support rather than them always giving us their unconditional love.
(17:27):
And that, they have some things going on in their body that could be affecting how they view the world in ways that aren't even showing up in the lab work.
Certainly when we start with medication rounds whether it's pill, liquid or whatever that's new to them too.
(17:49):
That we're controlling them differently.
We're doing things differently, and as a disease progresses and they are perhaps less mobile or have less energy they're gonna depend more on us, and I think that's, it's something we're all very willing to do because we love them so much, but it is different that their need for us may be different.
(18:12):
And so we will be supporting, providing emotional support to them in different ways.
Gail Pope (18:18):
Yes, very true.
Yes, emotional I'm thinking of mobility and as particularly with a large dog, for instance, and they, as they become less and less mobile, the relationship at all levels will change because we need to be there for them more.
But then emotionally, it can be very upsetting.
(18:41):
It can be upsetting on both sides, creating that team together.
The caregiver is very well aware of their responsibility and it can be very daunting.
Particularly if you're little like me and you've got an 80 pound dog and getting her up to actually stagger out to the bathroom together can be quite daunting.
Karen Wylie (19:00):
Oh, quite daunting.
Gail Pope (19:02):
Yeah, we have to look different ways to actually achieve the things that we want to do.
And there are many dogs, particularly well cats too, who don't want to soil their beds.
They don't have the energy to get up.
But then, I know I saw this with my Rosie not so long ago.
She would get really restless and agitated and upset, and she didn't have the strength to struggle to her feet.
(19:26):
But I also had to take into my first instinct as a parent is, oh my gosh, is she in pain?
What's hurting her?
My second thought was, uhoh.
She wants to go to the bathroom.
Let me put a towel under her.
Help lift her up and we can stagger outside together.
And that's it, she would get outside and, oh, thank goodness.
When you have an animal, a being who is so desperate to not wet their bed, you really have to be vigilant for that expression like, "I need to go."
Karen Wylie (19:56):
Yes.
Vigilance.
Vigilance is a great word because they very likely will need to be, if it's a dog being taken out more frequently when they are have some kind of illness or condition and the cats are going to perhaps need their litter box closer by and maybe a different height litter box and all sorts of changes that will be made only if we're really monitoring them and observing.
(20:28):
And, I find taking notes to be a really good starting point.
Not necessarily where you have to be taking notes every day with what you do at the beginning of some conditions and diseases, but at least once a week.
So that, you're not just relying on your memory of what happened on Wednesday versus Friday, but that you've actually written that kind of thing down so that you can provide that support to your animal.
(20:53):
And let them retain their dignity, I guess.
Because that's so important to them, we know it's important to us and we know it's important to them as well.
Gail Pope (21:03):
Yeah.
I think the note taking is a really big issue because it's, I don't know, some of us, I'm certainly one of them, I will make a mental note with uh-oh I saw him do so and so need to write that down.
Do I go and write it down?
Sometimes a couple of days later I'll think, oh, I think I need to, oh, I did.
I don't think I wrote that down.
(21:24):
Now what?
What day did that happen?
I should know better because over the years, having a lot of animals when we had the sanctuary, it became a passion.
Actually, it became really difficult because when you've got a hundred animals and they are senior special needs, challenging animals, they all have stuff every day.
(21:47):
You notice notes.
Every single animal had their own file.
Karen Wylie (21:52):
Yes.
Gail Pope (21:52):
Eventually, I would encourage volunteers when they first came.
First day I introduced them to, here is everybody's file A to Z. If you are stroking, cuddling with an animal and you notice something, anything that, it could be a dirty ear, it could be a coat that needs grooming, it could be she just didn't seem herself today.
(22:15):
Those things are important.
I need you to pull out that file and make yourself a note and then leave the file out because I'm gonna need to get look through to make sure there's something I should know.
And little by little I really learned that then working with my vets, they would ask me a question and I've got it written down.
(22:35):
I know when that started.
Because either I or somebody else noticed her clawing at that ear on that day.
Oh.
We need to get the otoscope out and have a look in the ears.
So it's unusual at the beginning, I think, to us that aren't used to taking notes.
However, for those in our modern age who are used to journaling, then it will also become almost second nature to do it.
Karen Wylie (23:00):
Yes.
Especially if you're in a situation, even that one pill a day.
Gail Pope (23:05):
Yes.
Karen Wylie (23:06):
You can just include your journal or your paperwork close by and that's when you do it.
Yeah.
And we do have a record sheet that's available as a downloadable PDF on our website (23:13):
brightpathforpets.com.
Look in the resources section for that, if that would be helpful to any of you listening and watching us.
I guess the final thing that I'm thinking about, and you may have more than this last one for me is that although we're focusing on being a caregiver for our pet, we have to balance that with some care for ourselves because all of our worry and time that we're spending with our pet,
(23:53):
is going to require some rebalancing of other things that we have done with our time.
Regarding whether it's work, personal life, hobbies, whatever, other obligations but it's just important to keep in mind that taking care of yourself really comes down to be the number one thing because you can't provide any care
for your pet unless you're in good shape and you're able to observe clearly and take good notes and the things we're discussing.
Gail Pope (24:20):
Yes, and I think, and let's face it, you and I in our work, we preach that all the time.
Take care of yourself and if you feel like crying, tears are cleansing and it's easy to know these things.
But as loving parents sometimes it's really hard to do it.
(24:41):
I know I need to take care of myself.
I know I need to be strong.
I know, I know.
But then, you dive straight.
Karen Wylie (24:49):
But then,
Gail Pope (24:50):
so I think it's something we have to almost bully ourself, some of us to do.
I find if I'm washing up at the kitchen sink and my mind is thinking about X, Y, z going off in different tangents, then I stop, relax, let my shoulders, ooh, they came down a long way ' and just relax and then maybe take a few breaths.
(25:12):
Oh.
That brings me into a different place where I can actually focus better.
I can think more clearly.
And it only takes a few seconds to do.
And if you do it enough, it can become almost like a mini walking meditation as it were you just take a few moments in time to just step off that ledge and then go back to whatever's on your mind.
Karen Wylie (25:36):
Those are good suggestions.
Gail Pope (25:37):
And going back to crying, as a parent, and we're worried about our children, whether they've got two legs, four legs, or eight legs, crying is something that we, I don't know in my generation, boys, big men didn't cry.
Boys don't cry.
And darling don't cry.
It was never, oh, let me, let me cuddle you.
(25:57):
You're crying.
It was always, oh darling, don't cry.
As we step forward, we learn that crying, that tears are cleansing to the spirit and to the physical self, and they release these emotions and they help us.
So when someone says, "oh God, I go in the bathroom and I'm just struggling to not cry."
And I said, "go sit with him. Put your arms around him if he wants you to"
(26:22):
but you know your animal, let's face it, we talk a lot about psychic and mediumship and people can help us very clearly with that, but we know darn our animals are far more intelligent than we are at that level
and they understand us.
They know when we are sad, they know when we're happy.
So if we are sad, go share it with them.
(26:42):
If we are worried and we just don't know which way to turn and we don't quite understand the diagnosis and let's just sit down and be with them.
Stop pacing, relax and sit because it's healing for everyone.
Karen Wylie (26:54):
I can't agree more.
As I sit here, as we're recording and my hand,
Gail Pope (26:59):
you've got, you see there, you've got therapy.
Karen Wylie (27:03):
I do.
They've always been the best therapy for me, I think.
Is there anything else you'd like to say on this topic, or should we bring it through to a close?
Gail Pope (27:14):
I think we should bring today to a close because I think we've identified the different types that really do need talking about, and I think we just need to continue this conversation and take it to where it's gonna go.
There are different parts, different journeys with different diagnoses.
It's a lot to talk about.
Karen Wylie (27:36):
There is a lot to talk about.
And so our next three episodes will be looking at chronic conditions and then difficult to manage diseases, and also then our third one in this series will be on terminal diagnoses.
And before we finish up, I do wanna make sure I mention that we have two downloadable PDFs on,
(28:01):
"Questions to Ask your Vet" and "Preparing for your Visits" so we have two, the one on "Questions to Ask your Vet" is very helpful when you first get a diagnosis and you're in that information gathering phase, that initial phase.
And then the second PDF is helpful because it's preparing you to gather your observations and information so that when you do talk to your vet and you get your two heads together, as well as your notes and their notes you can provide the very best care to your pet.
(28:32):
So with that, I will say thank you so much for being with us here.
And do look for additional episodes we have on this topic and others, and share our episodes with your friends and we'll look forward to seeing you next time.
Bye.
Goodbye.
Thank you for joining us on Peace of Mind for Pet Parents.
(28:54):
We hope today's episode has offered you support and insight as you care for your aging or ill pets.
Remember, it's not just about the end.
It's about living well at every stage of life To continue your journey with us, explore more resources at BrightHaven Caregiver Academy's website.
(29:15):
BrightPathforPets.com, where you'll find guides, assessments, and a caring community of pet parents like you.
Until next time, may you and your pets find comfort, connection, and peace in every moment.
Take care.
Welcome to Peace of Mind for Pet Parents, the podcast by BrightHaven Caregiver Academy.
I'm Gail Pope and I'm Karen Wylie.
And together we're here to support you in navigating life with your aging or ill pets.
We know how deeply you care for your beloved companions, and we're here to offer guidance, understanding, and resources for this meaningful journey.
(00:25):
Each episode we'll explore topics that address the daily challenges, emotional realities, and choices you face as a pet parent helping you and your pets find peace, comfort, and joy.
Whether it's making sense of a new diagnosis, adjusting to changing needs, or simply seeking a place to feel understood, you're not alone.
(00:47):
Thank you for being here with us.
Karen Wylie (00:51):
Hello and welcome to
Peace of Mind for Pet Parents.
Today we're going to take a look at what a life-changing diagnosis is all about and how it changes not just your pet's life, but your own.
And Gail, I was thinking that we could start with the life changing diagnosis in general because we've identified three different types of diagnoses.
(01:21):
The ones that identify a chronic condition that our pet might have, diagnoses that are difficult for us to manage and then those that will ultimately be terminal and be what our pets die from.
And yet each of those different diagnoses requires each of us to think through what we're going to do differently or so that we can, approach it in needed ways and, and figure out how those changes are gonna affect all of us.
(01:56):
So
in thinking, let's just talk about life changing diagnoses in general.
What are some of the things that are different for a pet parent when they receive, we'll just think of the chronic or difficult to managed diagnoses?
What's different for them?
What do they need to start doing differently?
Gail Pope (02:17):
I think that's a huge question because there, there is so many different things and it depends on the type of diagnosis.
It depends on the type of illness.
It could be something that's easy to manage but affects mobility, which can bring more problems.
There are just so many different ones.
I think we may have to narrow our conversation even down to
(02:44):
where and how is that diagnosis given.
How much do you know about the diagnosis?
What's been going on with the animal?
Have you been to the vet?
Obviously, I would imagine.
Yes, you've been to the vet, you've had diagnostics.
Now you've got your diagnosis.
Do you have your vet to be able to talk about it?
Have, has the clinic sent you an overview?
(03:04):
Can you talk on the phone with your vet? I think when we turn the clock back, perhaps a few decades to, what I've been used to always was talking it through with my vet and them giving me advice, me being able to ask questions and
feeling a lot more comfortable, maybe not always very comfortable, but feeling, at least afterwards, that I have a feeling,
(03:27):
I understand where we are and what my next step is.
But these days I hear very often that people are given the diagnosis by email with a covering note.
But when they call with questions, that's good in some respects 'cause it gives you time to think.
However, if you don't have, say for instance, if you're given the diagnosis at the clinic while you are there with your animal, hopefully you've got pen and paper or they can give it to you and you can think of the questions you really need to have answers to and knowing you won't remember them
(04:01):
write them down.
It just goes on and on.
I diverted a little bit there, but I think contact with the veterinarian or the practitioner to get as much information before you really sit down to decide what you're gonna do and what's the way forward because there are so many different types of diagnoses.
Karen Wylie (04:22):
You're absolutely right, of course.
And the information that each of us get or don't get is so different.
And if at least information is provided in an email.
Then the disease is spelled out and sometimes there's a PDF attachment that has a brief description of the disease or the condition.
(04:49):
gives you some guidelines to begin considering.
But I know from talking with many clients, they literally hear a 13 syllable official disease name spoken, but it's not written down anywhere.
They get to check out and it's just a listing of the services provided that day that you're paying for, but there's nothing on the receipt that says the name of the disease.
(05:16):
And so, I think it can put
many of us in a situation where it's not, for me, it's not a panic situation because I do see myself as a consumer and I feel like I'm paying for services and I'm gonna ask a lot of questions.
But for many people they just feel stuck because they don't even know how to spell the disease or condition.
(05:43):
And so I think that's probably the first thing as you're saying, is that we, every one of us that receives a diagnosis on our pets needs to be clear about exactly what that diagnosis is.
Gail Pope (05:55):
Yes, and then they can start to think about what it means for them and their animal.
It's a partnership on the journey going forward and everybody has a part, but the animal, you sometimes you have to make a decision about, I don't know,
do you need a second opinion?
Do you need to see a specialist?
And maybe there are so many different types of diagnoses from the,
(06:20):
"oh, it may be one pill a day for a week and we should be okay."
And it may be a diagnosis that brings a lot more questions and a lot more actual testing, perhaps.
Karen Wylie (06:32):
Yes.
Gail Pope (06:32):
And then perhaps a specialist advice for surgery or no surgery.
I mean it's really hard to forecast.
We all have this innate fear that runs as a thread through our lives and whatever diagnosis is, that little fear word comes up.
What changes is it gonna make?
Oh my God.
And depending on the diagnosis, it can be a huge surge of fear.
(06:53):
Is he going to die?
What can I do?
What can't I do?
And having someone's hand to hold through those kinds of journeys, it can be really invaluable.
And sometimes a specialist actually will turn out to be almost that person because they're so well versed and generally can take more time.
Karen Wylie (07:11):
Yes.
Gail Pope (07:12):
They're not quite so pressured generally
Karen Wylie (07:14):
yeah, I think that I can agree with that.
I believe that regardless of what the diagnosis is, and as we're saying, first thing is we absolutely need to make sure we know what it is.
Hopefully getting that information from the clinic rather than sourcing it out on Google.
As we all start, we begin to panic and we begin to say, "oh my God, what's gonna happen to my baby?" And we're searching the net and trying to become experts on the disease, which isn't usually a good use of our time.
(07:45):
But it's always going to involve more observation and more monitoring.
You know, even something like a stage one or stage two kidney disease diagnosis is going to
require changing the diet a little bit.
(08:07):
Pushing a little bit more wet food rather than dry food, for example.
It's not at a stage where you need to consider subcutaneous fluids or something, you can start looking at hydration and monitoring food and the type of food that you provide more carefully.
So even something like that, which is, generally for, even for humans, of course our, the efficiency of our kidneys decreases over time.
(08:36):
So that's not, telling someone that their cat, for example, has lessening kidney function, it's a stage one or stage two.
It's not a crisis.
They're not at death's door, but there are things to begin doing differently.
Gail Pope (08:52):
Yes, without doubt.
Definitely.
That's in itself is a big issue because now we've got the holistic approach and we've got the conventional approach and which way are we going to go?
And a lot of people are focused on one or the other.
But to me, sitting in the middle of those two options is the discussion about are we seeking a cure or are we seeking healing?
(09:17):
What does each bring us?
And is this an illness that we can actually cure, or is it that we need to offer healing for the highest good of the animal for whatever the future holds for them?
And it may be a much longer life than ever anticipated, or it may be a shorter one.
Karen Wylie (09:38):
And I know you and I have both been fortunate enough to.
Get some difficult diagnoses.
For me, kidney disease and cardiomyopathy come to mind.
But I can have those animals for years.
Just hearing what a diagnosis is not always a cause for panic.
Gail Pope (10:00):
Exactly.
Karen Wylie (10:01):
But a change in what we do and how we do it.
Gail Pope (10:03):
And that's another thing, and it's not something that many of us can easily manage to control.
But saying that x, y, Z diagnosis is or isn't a cause for panic, that's where we need to start with ourselves.
Because none should be a cause for panic.
We need to be able to control, it's like, "okay, talk myself off the ledge first." let me just think because we can't, you can't think clearly if you step into panic and fear.
Karen Wylie (10:32):
Yeah, true.
Gail Pope (10:32):
So that's the hard part because we are all, these are our children.
These are our family members and they can't speak for themselves and we have to speak for them.
So there's added responsibility there.
I think diagnoses of any kinds, so many people are scared of taking an animal to the vet. I know I am, especially when you have a chronically ill animal and you are worrying ahead of time that they're gonna find something that you haven't noticed or just is, aren't realizing.
(10:59):
So yes, they can be really stressful.
Karen Wylie (11:03):
Yes, they can be.
Any of them can be, especially, with some of these diagnoses.
You don't see a change in your animal's body or condition, but the blood work is going to be telling you a different story.
That there is change happening and if, unless you intervene in some way in two or three months or sooner, you'll begin to see a lackluster coat and a weight loss and that sort of thing.
(11:31):
So I guess that is one of the things perhaps more frequent visits to the vet would be happening once you have a diagnosis.
Because your vet is gonna be focusing on what's happening inside your pet's body.
And each of us is gonna be focusing on what we're seeing day to day through behavior and hydration and food.
But that's the partnership that can be what allows a long or longer period for your pet is good communication between you and your vet where you're both sharing the information that you uniquely are collecting.
Gail Pope (12:05):
Exactly and I think I was just sitting here listening to you and realizing how very, I was gonna say lucky I am, but there are.
A lot of people who have the same kinds of relationship that I do, because I work, as you probably know by now, primarily with classical veterinary homeopathy, and so I have the wonderful ability to schedule a Zoom conversation with my vet and discuss things.
(12:32):
Then I have a local clinic who are also holistic.
They work very integratively and they're not opposed to homeopathy and so we have this wonderful arrangement where I can work with both and I can learn from both.
And, our aim, our goal in the middle is healing for the highest good.
(12:54):
And that helps, that totally helps me to keep more relaxed, even though I have a deep worry, particularly about one of my animals.
But it allows the animal in turn to not see worry going on in me all the time.
Because our animals know us better than we know ourselves.
We know, we are worrying about this, that, or the other, and we've got a lineup of 10 different pills we've got to give you.
(13:20):
We start to worry about all sorts of things that may or may not be happening.
Their behavior will change and they will start to respond to our anxiety.
It's tough being a mother.
Karen Wylie (13:35):
It sure is.
It sure is.
Just you mentioning about, the 10 pills however many when your pet receives any kind of diagnosis, it's likely to involve some kind of medication, which could be a pill or could be liquid and so that's a skill.
Also, people have to learn because it's different for cats versus dogs.
(14:00):
It always amazes me how easy it is that all the pills for dogs are palatable to the dog.
They gobble it up like a treat.
And those of us with cats, it's a little more difficult shall we say.
It's the kind of thing and then of course the history of your animal as to how they're going to take to this new routine of controlling them.
(14:24):
'cause you have to control, especially a cat, you're controlling in various ways.
Either where they're going to be for you to give the pill or how you're gonna grip the nape of their neck or this sort of thing.
So those are skills that people have to learn.
So that when they do talk to their vet, they're able to say, that their pet has had 10 days of the antibiotic or had 10 days of a new pill that's being tried and the pill's actually gone down
(14:56):
noting not frothing at the mouth and spitting it out, and then you're like, "oh my God, is there enough there to try it again?"
Gail Pope (15:04):
You're really lucky in that respect that over the years compounding pharmacies have become much more popular and much more used and utilized for particularly I think for the cats.
Felines are notoriously difficult to give meds to.
However, if it tastes like something flavorful like tuna or salmon or whatever flavor they've made it.
(15:27):
That's a huge breakthrough I think for cat parents.
Karen Wylie (15:30):
For those of you that are close to those compounding pharmacies,
I think, where I am in Appalachia,
the compounding pharmacies are an hour to an hour and a half away in any direction.
So it's not quite as easy for me to get.
But then, the prescription could be sent in and then mailed to us.
I know there are those kinds of compounding veterinary pharmacies as well these days.
Gail Pope (15:51):
Yes, I know my vet works with a compounding pharmacy very well known.
I think there's one, obviously very well known one that a lot of vets use.
And BrightHaven actually our rescue, have our own account with a compounding pharmacy who work directly with a bigger corporations are all joining together, I think now.
So whenever something's prescribed for the most part, you will have the option to think about if I can't give him that pill, what can be done to that pill to make it taste good, so he'll just take it.
(16:23):
So he'll pretend he's a dog.
Karen Wylie (16:26):
That's not gonna work.
Yeah, I've learned to have my it's like my own little pharmacy, but it's not really pharmacy, but I'll have my Gerber's baby food and my temptations treats and a variety of things that once I'm pilling and I always prefer to use my finger rather than the the official pillars.
But, sometimes the treat has to, is not just coating the pill, but is gonna come after the pill.
(16:50):
So that even if they're enduring the pilling, there's
Gail Pope (16:53):
yes, there's a treat after.
Karen Wylie (16:54):
Yeah, there's a treat afterwards.
But each of them is gonna be different.
And so that's all these things that we're describing or mentioning, it's gonna be different for every pet in every decision everybody makes.
I think one of the differences too, when we.
Step into becoming a caregiver for our pet is that in some ways we become their emotional support rather than them always giving us their unconditional love.
(17:27):
And that, they have some things going on in their body that could be affecting how they view the world in ways that aren't even showing up in the lab work.
Certainly when we start with medication rounds whether it's pill, liquid or whatever that's new to them too.
(17:49):
That we're controlling them differently.
We're doing things differently, and as a disease progresses and they are perhaps less mobile or have less energy they're gonna depend more on us, and I think that's, it's something we're all very willing to do because we love them so much, but it is different that their need for us may be different.
(18:12):
And so we will be supporting, providing emotional support to them in different ways.
Gail Pope (18:18):
Yes, very true.
Yes, emotional I'm thinking of mobility and as particularly with a large dog, for instance, and they, as they become less and less mobile, the relationship at all levels will change because we need to be there for them more.
But then emotionally, it can be very upsetting.
(18:41):
It can be upsetting on both sides, creating that team together.
The caregiver is very well aware of their responsibility and it can be very daunting.
Particularly if you're little like me and you've got an 80 pound dog and getting her up to actually stagger out to the bathroom together can be quite daunting.
Karen Wylie (19:00):
Oh, quite daunting.
Gail Pope (19:02):
Yeah, we have to look different ways to actually achieve the things that we want to do.
And there are many dogs, particularly well cats too, who don't want to soil their beds.
They don't have the energy to get up.
But then, I know I saw this with my Rosie not so long ago.
She would get really restless and agitated and upset, and she didn't have the strength to struggle to her feet.
(19:26):
But I also had to take into my first instinct as a parent is, oh my gosh, is she in pain?
What's hurting her?
My second thought was, uhoh.
She wants to go to the bathroom.
Let me put a towel under her.
Help lift her up and we can stagger outside together.
And that's it, she would get outside and, oh, thank goodness.
When you have an animal, a being who is so desperate to not wet their bed, you really have to be vigilant for that expression like, "I need to go."
Karen Wylie (19:56):
Yes.
Vigilance.
Vigilance is a great word because they very likely will need to be, if it's a dog being taken out more frequently when they are have some kind of illness or condition and the cats are going to perhaps need their litter box closer by and maybe a different height litter box and all sorts of changes that will be made only if we're really monitoring them and observing.
(20:28):
And, I find taking notes to be a really good starting point.
Not necessarily where you have to be taking notes every day with what you do at the beginning of some conditions and diseases, but at least once a week.
So that, you're not just relying on your memory of what happened on Wednesday versus Friday, but that you've actually written that kind of thing down so that you can provide that support to your animal.
(20:53):
And let them retain their dignity, I guess.
Because that's so important to them, we know it's important to us and we know it's important to them as well.
Gail Pope (21:03):
Yeah.
I think the note taking is a really big issue because it's, I don't know, some of us, I'm certainly one of them, I will make a mental note with uh-oh I saw him do so and so need to write that down.
Do I go and write it down?
Sometimes a couple of days later I'll think, oh, I think I need to, oh, I did.
I don't think I wrote that down.
(21:24):
Now what?
What day did that happen?
I should know better because over the years, having a lot of animals when we had the sanctuary, it became a passion.
Actually, it became really difficult because when you've got a hundred animals and they are senior special needs, challenging animals, they all have stuff every day.
(21:47):
You notice notes.
Every single animal had their own file.
Karen Wylie (21:52):
Yes.
Gail Pope (21:52):
Eventually, I would encourage volunteers when they first came.
First day I introduced them to, here is everybody's file A to Z. If you are stroking, cuddling with an animal and you notice something, anything that, it could be a dirty ear, it could be a coat that needs grooming, it could be she just didn't seem herself today.
(22:15):
Those things are important.
I need you to pull out that file and make yourself a note and then leave the file out because I'm gonna need to get look through to make sure there's something I should know.
And little by little I really learned that then working with my vets, they would ask me a question and I've got it written down.
(22:35):
I know when that started.
Because either I or somebody else noticed her clawing at that ear on that day.
Oh.
We need to get the otoscope out and have a look in the ears.
So it's unusual at the beginning, I think, to us that aren't used to taking notes.
However, for those in our modern age who are used to journaling, then it will also become almost second nature to do it.
Karen Wylie (23:00):
Yes.
Especially if you're in a situation, even that one pill a day.
Gail Pope (23:05):
Yes.
Karen Wylie (23:06):
You can just include your journal or your paperwork close by and that's when you do it.
Yeah.
And we do have a record sheet that's available as a downloadable PDF on our website (23:13):
brightpathforpets.com.
Look in the resources section for that, if that would be helpful to any of you listening and watching us.
I guess the final thing that I'm thinking about, and you may have more than this last one for me is that although we're focusing on being a caregiver for our pet, we have to balance that with some care for ourselves because all of our worry and time that we're spending with our pet,
(23:53):
is going to require some rebalancing of other things that we have done with our time.
Regarding whether it's work, personal life, hobbies, whatever, other obligations but it's just important to keep in mind that taking care of yourself really comes down to be the number one thing because you can't provide any care
for your pet unless you're in good shape and you're able to observe clearly and take good notes and the things we're discussing.
Gail Pope (24:20):
Yes, and I think, and let's face it, you and I in our work, we preach that all the time.
Take care of yourself and if you feel like crying, tears are cleansing and it's easy to know these things.
But as loving parents sometimes it's really hard to do it.
(24:41):
I know I need to take care of myself.
I know I need to be strong.
I know, I know.
But then, you dive straight.
Karen Wylie (24:49):
But then,
Gail Pope (24:50):
so I think it's something we have to almost bully ourself, some of us to do.
I find if I'm washing up at the kitchen sink and my mind is thinking about X, Y, z going off in different tangents, then I stop, relax, let my shoulders, ooh, they came down a long way ' and just relax and then maybe take a few breaths.
(25:12):
Oh.
That brings me into a different place where I can actually focus better.
I can think more clearly.
And it only takes a few seconds to do.
And if you do it enough, it can become almost like a mini walking meditation as it were you just take a few moments in time to just step off that ledge and then go back to whatever's on your mind.
Karen Wylie (25:36):
Those are good suggestions.
Gail Pope (25:37):
And going back to crying, as a parent, and we're worried about our children, whether they've got two legs, four legs, or eight legs, crying is something that we, I don't know in my generation, boys, big men didn't cry.
Boys don't cry.
And darling don't cry.
It was never, oh, let me, let me cuddle you.
(25:57):
You're crying.
It was always, oh darling, don't cry.
As we step forward, we learn that crying, that tears are cleansing to the spirit and to the physical self, and they release these emotions and they help us.
So when someone says, "oh God, I go in the bathroom and I'm just struggling to not cry."
And I said, "go sit with him. Put your arms around him if he wants you to"
(26:22):
but you know your animal, let's face it, we talk a lot about psychic and mediumship and people can help us very clearly with that, but we know darn our animals are far more intelligent than we are at that level
and they understand us.
They know when we are sad, they know when we're happy.
So if we are sad, go share it with them.
(26:42):
If we are worried and we just don't know which way to turn and we don't quite understand the diagnosis and let's just sit down and be with them.
Stop pacing, relax and sit because it's healing for everyone.
Karen Wylie (26:54):
I can't agree more.
As I sit here, as we're recording and my hand,
Gail Pope (26:59):
you've got, you see there, you've got therapy.
Karen Wylie (27:03):
I do.
They've always been the best therapy for me, I think.
Is there anything else you'd like to say on this topic, or should we bring it through to a close?
Gail Pope (27:14):
I think we should bring today to a close because I think we've identified the different types that really do need talking about, and I think we just need to continue this conversation and take it to where it's gonna go.
There are different parts, different journeys with different diagnoses.
It's a lot to talk about.
Karen Wylie (27:36):
There is a lot to talk about.
And so our next three episodes will be looking at chronic conditions and then difficult to manage diseases, and also then our third one in this series will be on terminal diagnoses.
And before we finish up, I do wanna make sure I mention that we have two downloadable PDFs on,
(28:01):
"Questions to Ask your Vet" and "Preparing for your Visits" so we have two, the one on "Questions to Ask your Vet" is very helpful when you first get a diagnosis and you're in that information gathering phase, that initial phase.
And then the second PDF is helpful because it's preparing you to gather your observations and information so that when you do talk to your vet and you get your two heads together, as well as your notes and their notes you can provide the very best care to your pet.
(28:32):
So with that, I will say thank you so much for being with us here.
And do look for additional episodes we have on this topic and others, and share our episodes with your friends and we'll look forward to seeing you next time.
Bye.
Goodbye.
Thank you for joining us on Peace of Mind for Pet Parents.
(28:54):
We hope today's episode has offered you support and insight as you care for your aging or ill pets.
Remember, it's not just about the end.
It's about living well at every stage of life To continue your journey with us, explore more resources at BrightHaven Caregiver Academy's website.
(29:15):
BrightPathforPets.com, where you'll find guides, assessments, and a caring community of pet parents like you.
Until next time, may you and your pets find comfort, connection, and peace in every moment.
Take care.
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