The Flight of the Bucket

For years, Cap’n Joshivia (Jerzy) S. Standard and his motley crew have cruised the space lanes in their rusty old bucket of a ship, the Watercress, trying to stay one step ahead of their creditors and the occasional (malevolent) space fungus. But all that is nothing compared to what comes next: their official safety inspection.

Caught off guard by Gutman’s stern nature, the Cap’n attempts to crank up the charm. It does not go well. However, circumstances arise that disrupt the inspection and put everyone's life on the line.

The crew, along with Gutman, are in dire straits as enemy warships bear down. Amid the chaos, The Cap’n makes Gutman an offer that is both repugnant and impossible to refuse.

Adrift in an unknown region of space, the crew attempts to spacetape the Watercress back together. The mutated rats make their move. The Cap’n contemplates the sensual aura of an alleycat while also planning a bit of larceny. Zach discovers he might possess a spiritual side.

Lungz and Gutman adjust to prison life. Zach continues to explore his spiritual side, with mixed results. The Cap’n spends some time at a day spa with an A.I.-enhanced bidet.

Tensions rise as the Cap’n discovers he consumed all of the booze on the ship. To avoid dreaded sobriety, the Cap’n orders Lungz to synthesize a substitute intoxicant from the ship's refuse. Then, things begin to get weird.

Though relieved to be finally heading home, the crew must contend with the crippling monotony of the long journey. Thankfully, a distress call provides a much needed distraction, but not without some risk. Also, the Computer accuses Gutman of dishonesty, and Zack reveals the secret to his supple skin.