What if the relationship that needs the most work isn't the one you're in - it's the one you have with yourself?
In this episode, I'm sharing my biggest fear about the work I do with women - that teaching you to trust yourself might lead you to leave your relationship prematurely, before you've done the real work. This isn't a "stay at all costs" message or a "leave and find better" story.
This is about what happens when you finally stop avoiding the uncomfortable truth of your role in the dynamic and start taking radical responsibility for how you show up.
You'll hear about my 13-year relationship, the year and a half between hitting rock bottom (miscarriage, going deaf, complete burnout) and finally leaving, and the brutal honesty that changed everything. I'm sharing what I wasn't doing - the ways I was managing, accommodating, and people-pleasing instead of actually communicating my truth.
I'm also revealing how I knew it was truly time to leave - and why doing the work first meant I could walk away with zero regrets and total clarity.
If you've been wondering whether you should stay or go, this episode will help you ask the right question first.
What We're Covering:
- What "doing the work" actually means (hint: it's not just reading books and going to therapy)
- The three core components of real relationship work: internal safety, radical responsibility, and truth-telling
- Why your relationship is your laboratory - and leaving too soon means repeating patterns
- How to communicate from your truth instead of your wounds
- Signs it's time to stay and do the work vs. signs it's time to leave
- The question that changes everything: "Have I shown up fully, communicated my truth radically, and taken responsibility for my role?"
- Why I can show up differently with Christian - not because he's "better," but because I transformed myself first
The truth is...
You can't do this work in theory. You can't heal in a vacuum. Your relationship is showing you exactly where you still have room to grow - and until you face that mirror, you'll carry the same patterns into your next relationship.
🎁 Special Announcement: 50th Episode Giveaway!
We're almost at 50 episodes! Enter to win a $25 Amazon gift card by:
- Leaving a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts
- Screenshot your review and share on Instagram stories, tagging @iamkaija OR
- Fill out this Google Form with your review screenshot
Ready to Go Deeper?
This work requires you to get radically honest about your patterns, your wounds, and your role in the dynamic. If you're ready to do that work with support, DM me on Instagram about private coaching.
Be brave, not perfect, my babe!
Xx,
Kaija
Disclaimer: This podcast shares personal stories, experiences, and reflections on relationships, consciousness work, and personal growth. The content is not intended as a substitute for professional mental health support, medical advice, or therapeutic treatment. If you're experiencing crisis, abuse, or severe mental health symptoms, please reach out to a qualified professional. Your journey is your own - trust yourself to know what support you need and when you need it.
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