April 11, 2024 • 28 mins
Episode 25 gets real as Those Crazy Bible Study guys learn that lust has been a constant battle over time for the human race! They actually get a little serious as they share personal stories of how important it is for fathers to help ensure their children understand the biblical view of attraction due to how it can become a long term struggle. Join those Crazy Bible Study Guys as they see how much Jesus knows lust can impact our life negatively and that it would be better to lose a limb or eye if it would stop it than to have separation the sin can create between us and God as well as our loved ones.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Hey everybody welcome to episode 25 i'm jim and i'm dale and we are those crazy bible study guys,
and good morning good day to everybody jim i kind of miss your angry voice starting
off with that i I really enjoyed that last episode.
(00:25):
You still haven't got over that, have you? No, I loved it.
Man, but I'm going to tell you what. Today, I feel today, we're going to be
vulnerable today. Today's going to be a tough one.
Just as a man, I'm going to admit, it's going to be a tough one. Yeah, for sure. Yeah.
Yeah, Jesus kind of went from anger into, yeah,
(00:45):
this new topic here that he knows is also one that's gonna create a lot of separation
for us and a lot of heartache and trouble if uh we can't handle it so yeah and
kind of kind of recap of where we're at so everybody knows we're we're in matthew
chapter five we're going to be reading 27 through 30.
(01:05):
So again not too many verses but you know what we're at is we're on the sermon
of the mountain this is you know he's done the beatitudes he's talking to the
disciples what we learned a couple episodes you know we We originally thought
he was going to, you know, you know, concert out and,
you know, do a whole rock show in front of everybody.
But now he actually sat down. He started talking to his disciples.
(01:26):
The people started gathering around.
Yeah. And so still still a need to pick that up. But yeah, he's going through some different topics.
Again, I don't know how many people are around him, but, you know,
again, he's got 12 men surrounding him.
We know from the 12, you know, the 12 disciples. And then he's got obviously other people.
And so he's teaching about the law. He's talking about anger,
(01:48):
and today it's a hardcore one for men. Jesus teaches about lust.
Yeah, I mean, I know traditionally men, I'm sure it can happen with women as well, too.
But yeah, I think this is definitely one that men struggle with for sure.
It's thrown in our face all the time and something that can spiral out of control quickly for sure.
(02:14):
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And I mean, you're right.
I actually, I know I saw an article not long ago.
Again, don't, don't quote me on this as just Dale perspective of thought in the past,
but, you know, I, I think I had seen an article that not obviously it's very,
very difficult for men and this, in this category, especially the day we live
(02:35):
in, even, even lately, Nina was my wife, her name is Nina. Now, you know, so.
She was telling me that even like the big topic of trend right now is,
you know, at the gym, just, you know, people will try to find people who are
looking at them. Women will wear provocative clothing.
And of course, men are in the gym and they look over and it's,
(02:56):
you know, there's a whole scandal going on.
But I saw an article, though, was talking about how much that this has changed
for women. Like you said, it's not just men anymore.
Like this was probably geared more towards men. but
i mean obviously lust was a problem with women too
and you know we have some biblical examples of that
you know we think of like joseph back when
(03:17):
back in in x i think it's exodus or genesis yeah
because moses came later but you know joseph he he was
helping you know the the jail guard
you know and his wife ended up seducing him
or attempted to seduce him because she was attracted to
him like so you know there are biblical stories that relate
to women with this struggle just as much as obviously meant
(03:39):
so yeah yeah i mean we
should probably read it to yeah to fill everyone in
on it but yeah it's just i mean it's
part of creation right it's part of who god made us to
to create right and that's
right yeah so we need a little bit of that to make
that happen but it's again where's where's the
(04:02):
heart matter here so exactly and i
think you're very let's let's you know let's get people involved and
understand what we're trying to get to that's a good point yeah no i
know we we have a tendency to do that because we
we know what we're going to talk about for the day but all right let's let's
go for it brother let me open some quick prayer we'll jump in matthew 5 27 and
30 right into it so heavenly father lord we thank you for this new day we are
(04:25):
going to talk about a pretty sensitive topic i know this is a topic that a lot
of people struggle with including myself i will raise my hand in this one.
We definitely, Lord, we just ask and pray for your strength,
your help, your aid, Lord, in this type of topic, as well as all the topics
we're learning about, where we're learning about struggles with anger.
And we'll be talking about marriage, divorce, and we'll be talking about other
(04:49):
different elements that, again, you were teaching on the sermon about.
So, Lord, just help us as we are looking to better ourselves,
that pursuit for perfection, which is really being just like you,
God, our desire to be that way. So let us pick up our cross today.
Let us focus on you and learn today, even in the vulnerabilities and sensitive topics.
Let us be open and real and honest because that's who we are, Lord.
(05:12):
So help us and guide us. We ask this in your name. Amen.
Amen. All right. And it goes like this. You have heard that it was said,
you shall not commit adultery.
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed
adultery with her in his heart.
If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away.
(05:37):
It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away.
It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
(05:58):
If that didn't catch people's attention, I don't know what will.
Right oh yeah and and obviously
he's he's using some analogies here right
he's yeah not telling us to be home
surgeons here with this so i want to i want to kind of probably set two things
into play here too with this like we're trying to build that scope of what we're
(06:19):
really trying to hit the matter with is one of me he talks about you shall not
commit adultery that is obviously you know a a big commandment that came down.
So that's where his foundation is starting. And he goes to the next level,
kind of like what we talked about peeling that onion back in the past,
we've talked about that peeling of the onion layer. So he's taking it another step forward, but.
(06:40):
I do think one thing that's always been a challenge is you know
it does specifically say anyone that looks at a woman lustfully
has already committed adultery you know it was geared a
lot towards men about women and again this was written and this was back in
the day the time of this was again more focused on that perspective of you know
(07:04):
writing towards men because back then men made the decisions.
Unfortunately, women were not as important, which is really cool about the Bible
is it actually shows how important women are, but the culture back then was a lot like that.
So that's why, you know, I do think a lot of people can kind of take this out
of context and like be really pushful against men.
Like, oh, see, you know, Matthew 5 is about you guys and you're wrong.
(07:26):
It was about everyone at this point. Like it's all of these words in red relate
to everybody not just men because again
we go back to that original Commandment you shall
not commit adultery that is for everybody so
I think it's important we set that context too like we're not going to just
be men haters here at this moment this is against all of us yeah the I I love
(07:51):
his how again he goes back to Old Testament right the 10 Commandments do not
commit adultery I like it. That one's pretty straightforward.
Four words, right? To the point, do not commit adultery.
And then what does he do?
He says, all right, let's take a look at your heart, right?
Again, this is where you can get legalistic, right?
(08:14):
I did not physically do anything with that person, but God knows that when you
look lustfully at someone,
that's the spark of that fire that ignites, that leads to the adultery.
Exactly. I tell anyone who looks lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
(08:38):
To your point, it's like an attractive woman walks by. I mean,
you can't set something up that you don't ever see them, right?
I mean, you're out in public or wherever, right? And an attractive woman walks
by and you see that and...
The part that starts creating those sparks right is when you take that second look or,
(09:04):
or your mind starts wandering on that versus you
see that person and you kind of move move on with your life and you know i especially
you know when i was younger it was you know the second look was you know not
a doubt you know and it's it's it's a discipline that that you gotta work on yourself Yeah.
(09:26):
Because it's, it's natural for us to be attracted to the opposite sex.
Yeah, I think you hit the nail on the head, man. Again, I actually like that.
Jesus says right there at the end of verse 28, you know, in their heart.
I want to say their, even though he says in his heart, but is it really in whoever's heart?
(09:46):
It's back to that heart matter. And just like everything's a choice. I like how you said it.
I mean, things are going to happen. And, you know, you know,
I just I mean, you're going to sometimes just look around.
Bam, there's something right there. And, you know, you know,
and it's that coaching in the mind to, you know, which path that you take.
You know, do you go down the right path and, you know, you look away or do you
(10:07):
go down the left path and you start like you mentioned, you take it to the next
thought. And it goes back to like everything.
Excuse me. Everything is like with their anger.
Somebody gets really upset with you. You can either a let it go or be you can add fuel to the fire.
And so it's again it's everything's based off
of choice and it goes back to that heart you know of
(10:27):
of what you're maybe missing what you're
desiring what you you know think it gives again goes back really even goes even
further to that you know back to that one episode we talked about the if statement
you know because that's satan's greatest moment especially in a moment of weakness
or frustration maybe you're upset with your spouse maybe you know you're lonely
(10:47):
You're single for so long,
you know, they'll get into the world's telling you that this is how you should
be or whatever might be and,
And then it's that moment of, oh, you see that opposite, you know, attractive person.
And then there's that little lie that whispers in being like,
what if, you know, and it's like, yeah, there you go.
So it's either, you know, you can either say, hey, it is written that I'm not
(11:09):
supposed to commit adultery here. Or you can say, hmm.
And Jim, let's be real. I'm going to be honest with everybody.
Like you said, you know, it was a struggle for you in the past,
brother. I want to tell everybody a little bit about my faith walk.
So I didn't come to know who Christ was until I was around 12, 13 years old.
You know, my parents had taken me to church like here and there on like,
(11:30):
you know, the big days like Christmas or Easter.
But I really just, I mean, Sundays were a day of rest and sleep for me in video games.
And so I had a buddy of mine, his name was Sean.
He came up to me one day at a, you know, afterschool program and we were playing
basketball and he was like, Hey, hey, you want to come to church with me on Sunday?
(11:51):
We're pretty good friends now. We play basketball all the time.
And I was like, man, church isn't, I don't know anything. I sleep.
That's my goal. I sleep in. I play video games. My day of rest.
And he's like, you know, there's a lot of girls in my youth class.
And again, I'm a 12, 13-year-old boy right now. I'm like, a lot of girls. Okay.
(12:12):
You have my interest. I was like, what are we talking about?
Like three or four in the class of like 20? He's like, he goes,
they outnumber the men two to one.
And I was like, now you have my attention.
So I unfortunately started my faith journey because I was a little teenage boy
who was unfortunately lustful and was like, huh, I want to go meet girls.
(12:35):
And what's really cool is I did find a relationship. It was with the Savior. So I went to church.
Yeah, I did. I got humbled. But, yeah, I went to church looking for a girlfriend
and finding a faithful relationship with the Lord.
So I am thankful for that. They were my buddy. But, yeah, there you go.
I'm going to be vulnerable, people. I started my journey in Christ and coming
(12:58):
to who Jesus was because I was seeking a date. So interesting.
Yeah. Well, I'll show some vulnerability to my first.
I remember this when we were younger. obviously there was no internet or something
and i got a few years on you dale and we had forts back then you know and we
(13:21):
were playing outside all the time but one of the greatest times a year was.
Like spring cleanup and everyone puts all their junk you know out by the road,
and so you know it's like it's like everyone's got these what are not treasures
to them that I don't even remember how old we were.
(13:43):
I can't even remember how young or old I was, but we were going through the Treasures and.
Man, at the time, we thought we hit the jackpot because the neighbor across
the street threw a crate of Playboy magazines away.
And so you could see us running back and forth across the street,
(14:05):
picking up one or two, throwing them under our shirts and heading over.
And I don't know how my dad found out about it, but he had me bring one to him.
And he didn't give me any crap about it.
And I think for me, I mean, I'm not blaming anything on my dad,
(14:28):
but I guess I kind of am, but it was like, to me, it was like,
it was at that point, he kind of like indirectly told me it's okay. Right.
And I think I look back on things and I I think that really started something,
you know, in my own life where, you know, Hey, my dad said this was okay.
(14:52):
So, so, so in the bigger term of things for me, fortunately,
I, you know, before my wife and I had started our family and had our kids,
I, you know, that was the sins of the father type thing where I was like, you know, I,
I wish that day he would have said, what are you doing and giving me a whooping
(15:16):
or whatever, you know, and,
and change things for me.
But I think that created a, a long-term struggle and you,
you know, it's, it's something I don't, you know, I've, I've got control over
that today, but I think, you know, when I was younger and stuff,
I mean, it created that lustful looking at, at women,
(15:38):
you know, that, and nowadays, like you were talking about, right. It's like.
Man, you can't turn on the TV or open up your, your phone or whatever,
you know, and you're getting, you're getting hit with this stuff all the time.
So, so it is definitely something I love that he talks about,
you know, Hey, he kind of gives you guidance here, right. With the spark, right.
(16:02):
That's going to create this fire that you, that,
you know, can burn down your house essentially yeah so
man I'm glad you're being I'm glad you
opened up because I you know again I'm not
trying to overcome well who you know each other's story
but you know I think I got two pointers I want to bring out but I want to add
another story about me because again I you know I'm not guys I did it right
(16:26):
like I I had you know a problem back in the day and I thank you mentioned Jim
I've overcome praise the Lord through His grace and mercy and so So,
you know, these are things that we talk about,
not because we're, you know, showing like, oh, look how nasty or how rough or
anything like this is like we're trying to show opportunities for people here.
Right. That's the goal of this is to grow more into Christ.
(16:48):
And sometimes you have to be pretty open and vulnerable and exposed in the light
to allow that next generation, the next person to be able to say,
hey, they did it. I can do it too.
And, and talk about these types of things because very similar to your story.
So again, I might, yeah, I know exactly where you're at.
(17:08):
I was right before digital age fully. Now, granted, I remember it was in,
it was probably sixth or seventh grade is when I was first introduced to this
topic, you know, and we'll just call it out what it is, you know, he was born.
And, you know, I, again, I remember this, this kid and there was a group of
boys, you know, we were all in the men's locker room, you know, in a big, big circle.
(17:31):
And he was pulled out this folder and he started passing these papers around.
Well, of course, you know, I mean, again, you see a group, you kind of want to know what's going on.
You, you step in there and next thing you know, you get handed a picture and there it is.
There's an exposed person and
you're just like, whoa, like I've never seen this before as a young kid.
And I think what's sad is why I tell the story is because,
(17:52):
you know, even through the struggles that was
the first moment i remember the kid's name i remember
you know certain moments of this portion of the story pretty vividly but that
was that was the day that i knew unfortunately something really bad happened
you know and entered into life which again i think everybody will will struggle
(18:13):
with this at some point like you mentioned and that was that was the turning
point And unfortunately,
my dad never talked about it, never said anything about it.
It was almost like, let's avoid the conversation because it's awkward.
So I didn't have anybody to guide me.
So I kept it as a secret and I just rolled with it, you know, didn't let anyone know.
(18:37):
What I was involved in because again, like I knew it knew it wasn't good.
And like I said, just mentioned, I came into faith. So this was not too long
after I came into faith, but no one ever really talked about it.
You know, it was kind of those, it was a little taboo. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. You tap toe around it and or tiptoe around it. So yeah, I didn't have guidance.
(18:58):
And I think if I did, like you mentioned, if your dad had kind of came down
and gave you a whooping or get, you know, just explain to you like what it really was.
Would we had a different outcome would we had
more you know perspective and respect about we didn't
have that and so i bring this up because like you
mentioned unfortunately i carried this sin for a long time
(19:20):
and it even came into the very beginnings of my marriage like
i'm married for a very very long time now guys but you know it started even
the marriage because nobody talked about it and it was too vulnerable it's been
too long too late i struggled with this stuff but then i actually got to a point
where i told my wife and it was a hard conversation and.
(19:42):
Praise the lord she worked with me on that and she helped
me and next thing you know like you mentioned you have you know there's that
control but you still know that you can fall back in so you try to do your very
best not to fall back in and and you learn to coach the mind yeah and train
the mind and that's what we do with our faith every day is more of a training
like yeah Again, we pick up our cross every day,
(20:04):
put on the armor of God. We fight the good fight.
And sometimes we're going to fall. And I mean, this is just in general for everything,
not just this topic, but we're going to fall.
But the goal is to get back up, to learn, to grow and to be better.
And so that I tell this story because I think it's important to realize most
people will remember the first time.
(20:25):
And it's very important to have these conversations with your kids,
you know, parents, if you're out there listening. Just like for me,
I need to be focused about that.
Don't tiptoe around this topic. Be open. Be upfront.
Explain why this is a bad thing, why it's not good, how it can harm the perspective of a relationship.
(20:46):
We're not looking at people as a trophy or some kind of an object.
We're looking at these people as images of God, loving, caring.
So I think it's very important, and I think it's beautiful to tell our stories
because it showcases that gap that we both missed out on in different perspectives.
We were not led, and I think we need to challenge men and anyone to step up
(21:11):
and have those difficult conversations.
Yeah, it's like any conversation.
Area we're struggling in life right is recognize that that
spark right and that's that if that that satan's thrown at us and and and trying
to recognize because some you know like a lot of people just don't recognize
the trigger they're just all of a sudden in the fire and they don't even know
(21:35):
they don't they didn't recognize the spark right that that created that fire so.
Yeah the what i'm gonna head into the footnotes yeah let's jump in yeah no that
was i mean i i I mean, it was raw, it was real,
but it's, it's, I think being part of, and I, I think as a society talking about
(21:55):
things like that, I'm, I'm hoping it gets better, but I think it's an,
it's been a struggle since the beginning of time, right.
To have this topical conversation.
So it's, it's almost like that and money, right? My dad didn't really talk to me about money.
He said, you know, do the 401k and, and that's about it.
So all right 27 28 uh
(22:18):
it kind of went off on a danger there the old testament law
said it was wrong for a person to have sex without someone other than his or
her spouse which is an exodus but jesus said that the desire to have sex with
someone other than your spouse is bental adultery and thus sin jesus emphasized
that if the act is wrong so is the intention.
(22:38):
The spark right to be faithful
to your spouse with your body but not your mind is to
break the trust so vital to a strong marriage jesus is
not condemning natural interest in the opposite sex
or even healthy sexual desire but the deliberate and repeated filling of one's
mind with fantasies that would be evil if acted out and and then he goes that's
(23:03):
important yeah yeah it's it's You've got to recognize it and then,
like I said, cut chase, right?
Don't do the second take, right? Go, oh.
I just need to move on with my life. That's, that's not going to help anything.
That's just, just going to be like blowing oxygen on that spark.
Right. Get that fire rolling. So.
(23:23):
And again, it's, it gets the theme across to everything, not just this.
I mean, again, are you opening the door for the person in front of you because
you're hoping to get something out of it?
Or are you just opening the door because you truly are just compassionate and
want to help somebody like simple things, little things.
Everything starts with a small little moment. So. Yep.
And then he goes on, and I think he's got some advice for us here,
(23:45):
which I think will be helpful.
Some think that if lustful thoughts are sin, why shouldn't a person go ahead
and do the lustful actions too?
Acting out sinful desires is harmful in several ways.
One, it causes people to excuse sin rather than to stop sinning.
Two, it destroys marriages.
(24:06):
Three, it is deliberate rebellion against God's word. Word 4,
it always hurts someone else in addition to the sinner.
Sinful action is more dangerous than sinful desire, and that is why desire should not be acted out.
Nevertheless, sinful desire is just as damaging to righteousness.
(24:29):
Left unchecked, wrong desires will result in wrong actions and turn people away from God.
Yeah, I mean, that's a heavy hit to me. Again, how many marriages,
how many strong-willed people have we seen break over time because of those
fantasies, that desires of, you know, this person looked at me with these beautiful
(24:49):
eyes and I just got carried away.
Way and again went into that fantasy mind of
well maybe life will be better here or
maybe i'll get more here and next thing
you know i mean you destroy across the board you know yeah yeah the that one
it always hurts someone else in addition to the center is is pretty powerful
(25:11):
like it's it's pretty selfish when you think about it right you're doing this
out of selfish intent and And guess what?
There's secondary damage that's occurring on this as well, too, when you do that.
And that's, I mean, you know, it's like sometimes I think, you know,
as long as it doesn't hurt anybody else, right?
(25:33):
Yeah. You know, if it hurts me, I understand. It goes back to that little white
lie, yeah. But it does, right?
Especially with lust and stuff like that.
So I'm glad he pointed it out. and so
let's talk just real quick before we wrap
it up here on you know the gouging out
the eye and stuff all right that was kind of that was this
(25:55):
this one's a little hard one right like we're all not got our knives sharpened
over here to do something the actual physical damage yeah yeah more
of an example base all right and so when
jesus said that right to get rid of your hand or your eye
he was he was speaking figuratively so he
didn't mean literally gouge out your eye because even a blind
person can lust but if that were
(26:17):
the only choice it would be better to go into heaven with one
eye or hand than to go to hell with two we sometimes tolerate sins in our lives
that left unchecked could eventually destroy us it is better to experience the
pain of removal getting rid of a bad habit or something we treasure for instance
than to allow the sin to to bring judgment and condemnation.
(26:39):
Examine your life for anything that causes you to sin and take every necessary action to remove it.
Yeah that's awesome man yeah there we go i mean
again first off so everybody you know put the knife back
in the sheath nowhere he's figuratively but
it's again yeah dealing with that pain and it's hard it's
(27:00):
hard and it's challenging and there's times you're just
gonna you know do really well there's gonna be times you struggle and
so it's just again a daily check your heart
daily you know go back to that you know that
mindset when something enters in your mind is it
satan going what if you know is the fantasy or
is it something to say you know what i just need
(27:21):
to pray i need to pray i need to ask god help me put the armor on me strengthen
me you know encourage me you know again deal with the pain and yeah move forward
so and good stuff this is our topic this is our top especially as two men you
know talking about this hard topic but But if anything.
Jim, I hope our stories won't change perspective of people, but it will be inspiring
(27:44):
to say, you know what, we need to talk about these conversations.
We need to be open and real because this stuff is out there and it's getting
worse, like you mentioned.
So it's important that we rise to the occasion and help brothers and sisters
out in these moments because we're all probably struggling with things.
Yeah father god thank you for this this conversation today and just just help
(28:07):
us not to blow oxygen on those sparks that may be trying to be ignited in our
life just in this this topic in this area and we ask and pray this in your name.
Whoa all right well that powerfully uh wrapped up uh this episode man that's
(28:28):
it man maybe the The mic did drop, right? So we appreciate it.
And again, remember, you know, it's just a daily pursuit to perfection there, guys.
So go out there, give it your best. And until next time, enjoy the gift of today.
Hey everybody welcome to episode 25 i'm jim and i'm dale and we are those crazy bible study guys,
and good morning good day to everybody jim i kind of miss your angry voice starting
off with that i I really enjoyed that last episode.
(00:25):
You still haven't got over that, have you? No, I loved it.
Man, but I'm going to tell you what. Today, I feel today, we're going to be
vulnerable today. Today's going to be a tough one.
Just as a man, I'm going to admit, it's going to be a tough one. Yeah, for sure. Yeah.
Yeah, Jesus kind of went from anger into, yeah,
(00:45):
this new topic here that he knows is also one that's gonna create a lot of separation
for us and a lot of heartache and trouble if uh we can't handle it so yeah and
kind of kind of recap of where we're at so everybody knows we're we're in matthew
chapter five we're going to be reading 27 through 30.
(01:05):
So again not too many verses but you know what we're at is we're on the sermon
of the mountain this is you know he's done the beatitudes he's talking to the
disciples what we learned a couple episodes you know we We originally thought
he was going to, you know, you know, concert out and,
you know, do a whole rock show in front of everybody.
But now he actually sat down. He started talking to his disciples.
(01:26):
The people started gathering around.
Yeah. And so still still a need to pick that up. But yeah, he's going through some different topics.
Again, I don't know how many people are around him, but, you know,
again, he's got 12 men surrounding him.
We know from the 12, you know, the 12 disciples. And then he's got obviously other people.
And so he's teaching about the law. He's talking about anger,
(01:48):
and today it's a hardcore one for men. Jesus teaches about lust.
Yeah, I mean, I know traditionally men, I'm sure it can happen with women as well, too.
But yeah, I think this is definitely one that men struggle with for sure.
It's thrown in our face all the time and something that can spiral out of control quickly for sure.
(02:14):
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And I mean, you're right.
I actually, I know I saw an article not long ago.
Again, don't, don't quote me on this as just Dale perspective of thought in the past,
but, you know, I, I think I had seen an article that not obviously it's very,
very difficult for men and this, in this category, especially the day we live
(02:35):
in, even, even lately, Nina was my wife, her name is Nina. Now, you know, so.
She was telling me that even like the big topic of trend right now is,
you know, at the gym, just, you know, people will try to find people who are
looking at them. Women will wear provocative clothing.
And of course, men are in the gym and they look over and it's,
(02:56):
you know, there's a whole scandal going on.
But I saw an article, though, was talking about how much that this has changed
for women. Like you said, it's not just men anymore.
Like this was probably geared more towards men. but
i mean obviously lust was a problem with women too
and you know we have some biblical examples of that
you know we think of like joseph back when
(03:17):
back in in x i think it's exodus or genesis yeah
because moses came later but you know joseph he he was
helping you know the the jail guard
you know and his wife ended up seducing him
or attempted to seduce him because she was attracted to
him like so you know there are biblical stories that relate
to women with this struggle just as much as obviously meant
(03:39):
so yeah yeah i mean we
should probably read it to yeah to fill everyone in
on it but yeah it's just i mean it's
part of creation right it's part of who god made us to
to create right and that's
right yeah so we need a little bit of that to make
that happen but it's again where's where's the
(04:02):
heart matter here so exactly and i
think you're very let's let's you know let's get people involved and
understand what we're trying to get to that's a good point yeah no i
know we we have a tendency to do that because we
we know what we're going to talk about for the day but all right let's let's
go for it brother let me open some quick prayer we'll jump in matthew 5 27 and
30 right into it so heavenly father lord we thank you for this new day we are
(04:25):
going to talk about a pretty sensitive topic i know this is a topic that a lot
of people struggle with including myself i will raise my hand in this one.
We definitely, Lord, we just ask and pray for your strength,
your help, your aid, Lord, in this type of topic, as well as all the topics
we're learning about, where we're learning about struggles with anger.
And we'll be talking about marriage, divorce, and we'll be talking about other
(04:49):
different elements that, again, you were teaching on the sermon about.
So, Lord, just help us as we are looking to better ourselves,
that pursuit for perfection, which is really being just like you,
God, our desire to be that way. So let us pick up our cross today.
Let us focus on you and learn today, even in the vulnerabilities and sensitive topics.
Let us be open and real and honest because that's who we are, Lord.
(05:12):
So help us and guide us. We ask this in your name. Amen.
Amen. All right. And it goes like this. You have heard that it was said,
you shall not commit adultery.
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed
adultery with her in his heart.
If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away.
(05:37):
It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away.
It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
(05:58):
If that didn't catch people's attention, I don't know what will.
Right oh yeah and and obviously
he's he's using some analogies here right
he's yeah not telling us to be home
surgeons here with this so i want to i want to kind of probably set two things
into play here too with this like we're trying to build that scope of what we're
(06:19):
really trying to hit the matter with is one of me he talks about you shall not
commit adultery that is obviously you know a a big commandment that came down.
So that's where his foundation is starting. And he goes to the next level,
kind of like what we talked about peeling that onion back in the past,
we've talked about that peeling of the onion layer. So he's taking it another step forward, but.
(06:40):
I do think one thing that's always been a challenge is you know
it does specifically say anyone that looks at a woman lustfully
has already committed adultery you know it was geared a
lot towards men about women and again this was written and this was back in
the day the time of this was again more focused on that perspective of you know
(07:04):
writing towards men because back then men made the decisions.
Unfortunately, women were not as important, which is really cool about the Bible
is it actually shows how important women are, but the culture back then was a lot like that.
So that's why, you know, I do think a lot of people can kind of take this out
of context and like be really pushful against men.
Like, oh, see, you know, Matthew 5 is about you guys and you're wrong.
(07:26):
It was about everyone at this point. Like it's all of these words in red relate
to everybody not just men because again
we go back to that original Commandment you shall
not commit adultery that is for everybody so
I think it's important we set that context too like we're not going to just
be men haters here at this moment this is against all of us yeah the I I love
(07:51):
his how again he goes back to Old Testament right the 10 Commandments do not
commit adultery I like it. That one's pretty straightforward.
Four words, right? To the point, do not commit adultery.
And then what does he do?
He says, all right, let's take a look at your heart, right?
Again, this is where you can get legalistic, right?
(08:14):
I did not physically do anything with that person, but God knows that when you
look lustfully at someone,
that's the spark of that fire that ignites, that leads to the adultery.
Exactly. I tell anyone who looks lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
(08:38):
To your point, it's like an attractive woman walks by. I mean,
you can't set something up that you don't ever see them, right?
I mean, you're out in public or wherever, right? And an attractive woman walks
by and you see that and...
The part that starts creating those sparks right is when you take that second look or,
(09:04):
or your mind starts wandering on that versus you
see that person and you kind of move move on with your life and you know i especially
you know when i was younger it was you know the second look was you know not
a doubt you know and it's it's it's a discipline that that you gotta work on yourself Yeah.
(09:26):
Because it's, it's natural for us to be attracted to the opposite sex.
Yeah, I think you hit the nail on the head, man. Again, I actually like that.
Jesus says right there at the end of verse 28, you know, in their heart.
I want to say their, even though he says in his heart, but is it really in whoever's heart?
(09:46):
It's back to that heart matter. And just like everything's a choice. I like how you said it.
I mean, things are going to happen. And, you know, you know,
I just I mean, you're going to sometimes just look around.
Bam, there's something right there. And, you know, you know,
and it's that coaching in the mind to, you know, which path that you take.
You know, do you go down the right path and, you know, you look away or do you
(10:07):
go down the left path and you start like you mentioned, you take it to the next
thought. And it goes back to like everything.
Excuse me. Everything is like with their anger.
Somebody gets really upset with you. You can either a let it go or be you can add fuel to the fire.
And so it's again it's everything's based off
of choice and it goes back to that heart you know of
(10:27):
of what you're maybe missing what you're
desiring what you you know think it gives again goes back really even goes even
further to that you know back to that one episode we talked about the if statement
you know because that's satan's greatest moment especially in a moment of weakness
or frustration maybe you're upset with your spouse maybe you know you're lonely
(10:47):
You're single for so long,
you know, they'll get into the world's telling you that this is how you should
be or whatever might be and,
And then it's that moment of, oh, you see that opposite, you know, attractive person.
And then there's that little lie that whispers in being like,
what if, you know, and it's like, yeah, there you go.
So it's either, you know, you can either say, hey, it is written that I'm not
(11:09):
supposed to commit adultery here. Or you can say, hmm.
And Jim, let's be real. I'm going to be honest with everybody.
Like you said, you know, it was a struggle for you in the past,
brother. I want to tell everybody a little bit about my faith walk.
So I didn't come to know who Christ was until I was around 12, 13 years old.
You know, my parents had taken me to church like here and there on like,
(11:30):
you know, the big days like Christmas or Easter.
But I really just, I mean, Sundays were a day of rest and sleep for me in video games.
And so I had a buddy of mine, his name was Sean.
He came up to me one day at a, you know, afterschool program and we were playing
basketball and he was like, Hey, hey, you want to come to church with me on Sunday?
(11:51):
We're pretty good friends now. We play basketball all the time.
And I was like, man, church isn't, I don't know anything. I sleep.
That's my goal. I sleep in. I play video games. My day of rest.
And he's like, you know, there's a lot of girls in my youth class.
And again, I'm a 12, 13-year-old boy right now. I'm like, a lot of girls. Okay.
(12:12):
You have my interest. I was like, what are we talking about?
Like three or four in the class of like 20? He's like, he goes,
they outnumber the men two to one.
And I was like, now you have my attention.
So I unfortunately started my faith journey because I was a little teenage boy
who was unfortunately lustful and was like, huh, I want to go meet girls.
(12:35):
And what's really cool is I did find a relationship. It was with the Savior. So I went to church.
Yeah, I did. I got humbled. But, yeah, I went to church looking for a girlfriend
and finding a faithful relationship with the Lord.
So I am thankful for that. They were my buddy. But, yeah, there you go.
I'm going to be vulnerable, people. I started my journey in Christ and coming
(12:58):
to who Jesus was because I was seeking a date. So interesting.
Yeah. Well, I'll show some vulnerability to my first.
I remember this when we were younger. obviously there was no internet or something
and i got a few years on you dale and we had forts back then you know and we
(13:21):
were playing outside all the time but one of the greatest times a year was.
Like spring cleanup and everyone puts all their junk you know out by the road,
and so you know it's like it's like everyone's got these what are not treasures
to them that I don't even remember how old we were.
(13:43):
I can't even remember how young or old I was, but we were going through the Treasures and.
Man, at the time, we thought we hit the jackpot because the neighbor across
the street threw a crate of Playboy magazines away.
And so you could see us running back and forth across the street,
(14:05):
picking up one or two, throwing them under our shirts and heading over.
And I don't know how my dad found out about it, but he had me bring one to him.
And he didn't give me any crap about it.
And I think for me, I mean, I'm not blaming anything on my dad,
(14:28):
but I guess I kind of am, but it was like, to me, it was like,
it was at that point, he kind of like indirectly told me it's okay. Right.
And I think I look back on things and I I think that really started something,
you know, in my own life where, you know, Hey, my dad said this was okay.
(14:52):
So, so, so in the bigger term of things for me, fortunately,
I, you know, before my wife and I had started our family and had our kids,
I, you know, that was the sins of the father type thing where I was like, you know, I,
I wish that day he would have said, what are you doing and giving me a whooping
(15:16):
or whatever, you know, and,
and change things for me.
But I think that created a, a long-term struggle and you,
you know, it's, it's something I don't, you know, I've, I've got control over
that today, but I think, you know, when I was younger and stuff,
I mean, it created that lustful looking at, at women,
(15:38):
you know, that, and nowadays, like you were talking about, right. It's like.
Man, you can't turn on the TV or open up your, your phone or whatever,
you know, and you're getting, you're getting hit with this stuff all the time.
So, so it is definitely something I love that he talks about,
you know, Hey, he kind of gives you guidance here, right. With the spark, right.
(16:02):
That's going to create this fire that you, that,
you know, can burn down your house essentially yeah so
man I'm glad you're being I'm glad you
opened up because I you know again I'm not
trying to overcome well who you know each other's story
but you know I think I got two pointers I want to bring out but I want to add
another story about me because again I you know I'm not guys I did it right
(16:26):
like I I had you know a problem back in the day and I thank you mentioned Jim
I've overcome praise the Lord through His grace and mercy and so So,
you know, these are things that we talk about,
not because we're, you know, showing like, oh, look how nasty or how rough or
anything like this is like we're trying to show opportunities for people here.
Right. That's the goal of this is to grow more into Christ.
(16:48):
And sometimes you have to be pretty open and vulnerable and exposed in the light
to allow that next generation, the next person to be able to say,
hey, they did it. I can do it too.
And, and talk about these types of things because very similar to your story.
So again, I might, yeah, I know exactly where you're at.
(17:08):
I was right before digital age fully. Now, granted, I remember it was in,
it was probably sixth or seventh grade is when I was first introduced to this
topic, you know, and we'll just call it out what it is, you know, he was born.
And, you know, I, again, I remember this, this kid and there was a group of
boys, you know, we were all in the men's locker room, you know, in a big, big circle.
(17:31):
And he was pulled out this folder and he started passing these papers around.
Well, of course, you know, I mean, again, you see a group, you kind of want to know what's going on.
You, you step in there and next thing you know, you get handed a picture and there it is.
There's an exposed person and
you're just like, whoa, like I've never seen this before as a young kid.
And I think what's sad is why I tell the story is because,
(17:52):
you know, even through the struggles that was
the first moment i remember the kid's name i remember
you know certain moments of this portion of the story pretty vividly but that
was that was the day that i knew unfortunately something really bad happened
you know and entered into life which again i think everybody will will struggle
(18:13):
with this at some point like you mentioned and that was that was the turning
point And unfortunately,
my dad never talked about it, never said anything about it.
It was almost like, let's avoid the conversation because it's awkward.
So I didn't have anybody to guide me.
So I kept it as a secret and I just rolled with it, you know, didn't let anyone know.
(18:37):
What I was involved in because again, like I knew it knew it wasn't good.
And like I said, just mentioned, I came into faith. So this was not too long
after I came into faith, but no one ever really talked about it.
You know, it was kind of those, it was a little taboo. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. You tap toe around it and or tiptoe around it. So yeah, I didn't have guidance.
(18:58):
And I think if I did, like you mentioned, if your dad had kind of came down
and gave you a whooping or get, you know, just explain to you like what it really was.
Would we had a different outcome would we had
more you know perspective and respect about we didn't
have that and so i bring this up because like you
mentioned unfortunately i carried this sin for a long time
(19:20):
and it even came into the very beginnings of my marriage like
i'm married for a very very long time now guys but you know it started even
the marriage because nobody talked about it and it was too vulnerable it's been
too long too late i struggled with this stuff but then i actually got to a point
where i told my wife and it was a hard conversation and.
(19:42):
Praise the lord she worked with me on that and she helped
me and next thing you know like you mentioned you have you know there's that
control but you still know that you can fall back in so you try to do your very
best not to fall back in and and you learn to coach the mind yeah and train
the mind and that's what we do with our faith every day is more of a training
like yeah Again, we pick up our cross every day,
(20:04):
put on the armor of God. We fight the good fight.
And sometimes we're going to fall. And I mean, this is just in general for everything,
not just this topic, but we're going to fall.
But the goal is to get back up, to learn, to grow and to be better.
And so that I tell this story because I think it's important to realize most
people will remember the first time.
(20:25):
And it's very important to have these conversations with your kids,
you know, parents, if you're out there listening. Just like for me,
I need to be focused about that.
Don't tiptoe around this topic. Be open. Be upfront.
Explain why this is a bad thing, why it's not good, how it can harm the perspective of a relationship.
(20:46):
We're not looking at people as a trophy or some kind of an object.
We're looking at these people as images of God, loving, caring.
So I think it's very important, and I think it's beautiful to tell our stories
because it showcases that gap that we both missed out on in different perspectives.
We were not led, and I think we need to challenge men and anyone to step up
(21:11):
and have those difficult conversations.
Yeah, it's like any conversation.
Area we're struggling in life right is recognize that that
spark right and that's that if that that satan's thrown at us and and and trying
to recognize because some you know like a lot of people just don't recognize
the trigger they're just all of a sudden in the fire and they don't even know
(21:35):
they don't they didn't recognize the spark right that that created that fire so.
Yeah the what i'm gonna head into the footnotes yeah let's jump in yeah no that
was i mean i i I mean, it was raw, it was real,
but it's, it's, I think being part of, and I, I think as a society talking about
(21:55):
things like that, I'm, I'm hoping it gets better, but I think it's an,
it's been a struggle since the beginning of time, right.
To have this topical conversation.
So it's, it's almost like that and money, right? My dad didn't really talk to me about money.
He said, you know, do the 401k and, and that's about it.
So all right 27 28 uh
(22:18):
it kind of went off on a danger there the old testament law
said it was wrong for a person to have sex without someone other than his or
her spouse which is an exodus but jesus said that the desire to have sex with
someone other than your spouse is bental adultery and thus sin jesus emphasized
that if the act is wrong so is the intention.
(22:38):
The spark right to be faithful
to your spouse with your body but not your mind is to
break the trust so vital to a strong marriage jesus is
not condemning natural interest in the opposite sex
or even healthy sexual desire but the deliberate and repeated filling of one's
mind with fantasies that would be evil if acted out and and then he goes that's
(23:03):
important yeah yeah it's it's You've got to recognize it and then,
like I said, cut chase, right?
Don't do the second take, right? Go, oh.
I just need to move on with my life. That's, that's not going to help anything.
That's just, just going to be like blowing oxygen on that spark.
Right. Get that fire rolling. So.
(23:23):
And again, it's, it gets the theme across to everything, not just this.
I mean, again, are you opening the door for the person in front of you because
you're hoping to get something out of it?
Or are you just opening the door because you truly are just compassionate and
want to help somebody like simple things, little things.
Everything starts with a small little moment. So. Yep.
And then he goes on, and I think he's got some advice for us here,
(23:45):
which I think will be helpful.
Some think that if lustful thoughts are sin, why shouldn't a person go ahead
and do the lustful actions too?
Acting out sinful desires is harmful in several ways.
One, it causes people to excuse sin rather than to stop sinning.
Two, it destroys marriages.
(24:06):
Three, it is deliberate rebellion against God's word. Word 4,
it always hurts someone else in addition to the sinner.
Sinful action is more dangerous than sinful desire, and that is why desire should not be acted out.
Nevertheless, sinful desire is just as damaging to righteousness.
(24:29):
Left unchecked, wrong desires will result in wrong actions and turn people away from God.
Yeah, I mean, that's a heavy hit to me. Again, how many marriages,
how many strong-willed people have we seen break over time because of those
fantasies, that desires of, you know, this person looked at me with these beautiful
(24:49):
eyes and I just got carried away.
Way and again went into that fantasy mind of
well maybe life will be better here or
maybe i'll get more here and next thing
you know i mean you destroy across the board you know yeah yeah the that one
it always hurts someone else in addition to the center is is pretty powerful
(25:11):
like it's it's pretty selfish when you think about it right you're doing this
out of selfish intent and And guess what?
There's secondary damage that's occurring on this as well, too, when you do that.
And that's, I mean, you know, it's like sometimes I think, you know,
as long as it doesn't hurt anybody else, right?
(25:33):
Yeah. You know, if it hurts me, I understand. It goes back to that little white
lie, yeah. But it does, right?
Especially with lust and stuff like that.
So I'm glad he pointed it out. and so
let's talk just real quick before we wrap
it up here on you know the gouging out
the eye and stuff all right that was kind of that was this
(25:55):
this one's a little hard one right like we're all not got our knives sharpened
over here to do something the actual physical damage yeah yeah more
of an example base all right and so when
jesus said that right to get rid of your hand or your eye
he was he was speaking figuratively so he
didn't mean literally gouge out your eye because even a blind
person can lust but if that were
(26:17):
the only choice it would be better to go into heaven with one
eye or hand than to go to hell with two we sometimes tolerate sins in our lives
that left unchecked could eventually destroy us it is better to experience the
pain of removal getting rid of a bad habit or something we treasure for instance
than to allow the sin to to bring judgment and condemnation.
(26:39):
Examine your life for anything that causes you to sin and take every necessary action to remove it.
Yeah that's awesome man yeah there we go i mean
again first off so everybody you know put the knife back
in the sheath nowhere he's figuratively but
it's again yeah dealing with that pain and it's hard it's
(27:00):
hard and it's challenging and there's times you're just
gonna you know do really well there's gonna be times you struggle and
so it's just again a daily check your heart
daily you know go back to that you know that
mindset when something enters in your mind is it
satan going what if you know is the fantasy or
is it something to say you know what i just need
(27:21):
to pray i need to pray i need to ask god help me put the armor on me strengthen
me you know encourage me you know again deal with the pain and yeah move forward
so and good stuff this is our topic this is our top especially as two men you
know talking about this hard topic but But if anything.
Jim, I hope our stories won't change perspective of people, but it will be inspiring
(27:44):
to say, you know what, we need to talk about these conversations.
We need to be open and real because this stuff is out there and it's getting
worse, like you mentioned.
So it's important that we rise to the occasion and help brothers and sisters
out in these moments because we're all probably struggling with things.
Yeah father god thank you for this this conversation today and just just help
(28:07):
us not to blow oxygen on those sparks that may be trying to be ignited in our
life just in this this topic in this area and we ask and pray this in your name.
Whoa all right well that powerfully uh wrapped up uh this episode man that's
(28:28):
it man maybe the The mic did drop, right? So we appreciate it.
And again, remember, you know, it's just a daily pursuit to perfection there, guys.
So go out there, give it your best. And until next time, enjoy the gift of today.
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