Understanding the Science of You Guidebook with Graham Skidmore

Graham Skidmore discusses Understanding the Science of You: Breaking Molds and Building Bridges Guidebook, available for download on https://scienceofyoupodcast.com/download/.

Graham touches on the importance of experiential learning in life, believing that knowledge is power, but being able to apply it is liberation. He also emphasizes the need for safety in experiential learning while pushing boundaries.

Finally, Graham talks about his own experience facing his fears, when he asked the Universe how he should challenge the things he was afraid of. He has learned to accept that fear is a neutral piece of information to guide him rather than a negative obstacle.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
I understand the science of you listeners. Thank you for joining me for an episode
on, I want to kind of introduce a bit of a guidebook or the concept of a guidebook.
So number one, if you weren't aware, there is actually an understanding the
science of you guidebook to help you break out of, you know,
the molds that are holding you back to build bridges to your most productive self.
That's on the website to go in
there and go into downloads, please just download it and give me feedback.

(00:22):
Let me know what other information we can add, you know, subsequent versions
and things of that nature.
And so I wanted to touch base on those is, is just helping to create and understand a guidebook, right?
Because without a guidebook, it's really easy to internalize when things aren't
going right and to say, it's my fault, I'm defunct, I'm to blame, blah, blah, blah.

(00:43):
Either way, things like guilt, shame, there's nothing productive that comes from those things.
And so the first thing I want to say is, look, I'm not broken and you're not broken.
The system's broken, right? I'm not saying all of the system is broken.
Everything should be burnt to the ground. Don't give me all crazy like that yet.

(01:04):
What I am saying, though, is the system was built, the education system,
the work system, societal system, at some way, and things just kind of evolve
and get to where they need to and kind of just happen over time.
And just like anything, it starts one way and it kind of runs its course.
And I guess that's kind of my point.

(01:26):
And the real the guidebook that I feel like is missing for life in the current
educational system is the experiential learning.
Let me explain. I think there's knowledge.
You know, they say knowledge is power. But if knowledge is power,
then being able to apply your knowledge is liberation.
And so how do we help people? My goal is to help everybody gain access to the

(01:47):
knowledge they want and figure out how to apply it.
So that you can be enabled and empowered for yourself and not have to rely on
others when you don't want to.
So here's the kind of the three ways that I fit, at least in my experiences
that are boiled down to how people acquire knowledge.
One is we're all born with it, right? I can't explain, at least not on a chartboard

(02:12):
that anyone's going to believe, right?
Why I can wire the way that I'm wired. Why am I interested in what I'm interested in?
Why do I feel like my purpose is, what my purpose is, why am I good at math
and not good at math, good at science, not good at science, right?
It just is what it is, right? And so there's that part. So there's what we're born with.
Then there's the formal education training, right? Which is what we have in

(02:34):
school out there today, right?
And everybody has access to that. But then there's the third aspect,
which is what's lacking, which is the experiential learning.
Which is, I understand that a book might tell me that I should do this,
or that an adult told me that I should do this.
But when I get out there in the real world, stuff doesn't always seem to work
the way that books told me to.

(02:55):
And so what I need to understand is when I go into the real world and I do what
the book says, and then the world punches me in the face, the book didn't give
me the advice how to handle that.
The book said it's supposed to, you do this, and then this is supposed to happen.
Well, that didn't happen. So now what?
So there's this huge aspect of being able to acquire knowledge and learn how
to successfully navigate life to achieve goals that comes from experiential learning.

(03:19):
And the only way to get experiential learning is to experience life.
And you know what? Experiencing life, sometimes it's going to come just like
riding a bike, right? Learn how to ride a bike, right?
We had some skinned knees, we had some bump heads, whatever the case might be.
And while those weren't pleasant, I can tell you, I certainly never enjoy falling
off my bike and skinning my knee.

(03:40):
They were certainly learning motivators that help me to learn to stay on the bike, right?
And so there is an element of experiential learning that there is just no substitute
for, but how do you, but there's also a certain safety that needs to happen
when it comes to experiential learning, right?
And so I want to kind of touch base on that as you see with the guests,
we're going to, we only have two so far, but there, you know,

(04:01):
we're already a wide range of the spectrum and we're going to continue to do that.
And so as we do that, though, I want to make sure that, again,
people understand how to figure
out how to take what's for them and how to leave what's not for them.
So I'll speak personally myself. When I'm starting out new things,
I'm very extreme and I have to push the edges and the boundaries on things to

(04:23):
know where those boundaries exist.
If I don't figure out where those boundaries exist, I'm always going to wonder
what could be or what else could be. Could it be better? Could it be better? Could it be better?
So just knowing me, I have to establish so I can push as far as things can push.
And then that's what they are. I accept those boundaries. I accept those limitations.
And now I'm able to, you know, be at peace with that and focus on just optimizing

(04:44):
my experience inside of those boundaries.
The other thing that by pushing those boundaries or going to the extremes does
for me personally is that once I face the fear of saying something or doing
something, then everything that's less in the worst case scenario is that much easier.
And I'll share a funny story, though, on that before, which is I was,

(05:06):
you know, I was meditating and I'm saying to myself, you know,
I'm asking, heights really bother me.
So because I allow, you know, fear, does that mean I lack faith?
Does that mean my spirituality is challenged?
Am I supposed to, right? Just like riding a bike, am I supposed to put myself
in, you know, in dangerous situations with fears to prove that I have faith?

(05:28):
And that's what I'm asking. I'm saying, should I go start jumping out of planes?
Do I start like, you know, doing jumping on, you know, from rooftop to rooftop
to demonstrate that I have faith and the information that I got back was,
yeah, I gave you a brain to use too.
And so, you're right. And so that helped, you know, and that feedback,

(05:49):
you know, look, humorous. I said, look, this is a very true story.
And it helped for me to take the pressure off of thinking that any sort of fear,
I hate to use that word, fear is something that I was allowing to take as a

(06:10):
negative, like I hadn't achieved something,
as opposed to accepting it as a piece of information to guide me,
as a neutral piece of information to guide me.
It only had, you know, the power of emotion behind it, whatever I granted.
Again, way easier said than done. But it helped me to really understand,
especially as I'm, you know, going through my own, you know,

(06:31):
through my journey and continue understanding the science of myself.
To be responsible in the experiential learning that I put myself in situations
that are only going to be productive for my learning.
It's not just, you know, I'm not challenging myself for simply an adrenaline
high. You know, I'm past that phase of my life. I like to think anyway.

(06:53):
The only other thing that I'd like to add here to the experiential learning
and kind of the concept of getting to understand and creating your own guidebook
for yourself is that you got to see there is no substitute for figuring out yourself. self, right?
And so one of the ways that I've found to be extremely effective is to put together
what you're trying to figure out ahead of time, right?

(07:15):
Through the experiential learning, what will be considered a win?
What will be considered a loss?
What are you getting out of it? Is it worth it?
And I don't like the way that came out either. So the one thing I'd like to
then just add about the experiential learning is look,
experiential learning isn't for the faint of part right it involves learning learning
things you know however it is that you learn them right going through that some

(07:37):
of us you know like i used to like i used to always say it takes a two by four
cross i had to get me to learn and but when i but when i learn it sticks with
me so you know again pros and cons to that and as you and as you listen to both
sunshine and johnny talk.
Their own journeys and experiential learning,
it involves having to feel differently about themselves than what the mold that

(08:02):
they were told to get into, having to be comfortable with that and going out
and testing those boundaries and testing their reactions to people.
And there is no substitute for that. The only way to know if a boat's going
to float is to put it in the water, ultimately.
So same thing such as life. The only way to know what's going to work is to do it.
Right and the and then the last thing that i

(08:24):
would say is and the more they as a
as a positive to that experiential learning though well
it's all positive right it's as positive as a perspective but
as a maybe an encouragement for to
to for experiential learning and
putting yourself out there right is by putting yourself out there and taking
action you're demonstrating you're providing your intention to the

(08:46):
universe by giving your intention to the universe the
universe is able to then provide you know the energies in which
to support you without you giving the the universe
direction and what you need how is it
supposed to help you right so the more that
we put ourselves out there the more that we operate with
clear genuine authentic intention the easier it is for us to get support from

(09:10):
those in the universe around us and so what i wish is for all All of you to
find yourself to have a safe living and learning environment to,
you know, for your experiential learning.
Find, you know, people that you relate to. Find people that you can have honest
and open conversations with.
Because, you know, none of us did this. I can promise you, myself,

(09:34):
any person I've talked to, regardless of, you know, walk of life.
Anybody who has talked about any sort of accomplishment or success will tell
you they didn't do it alone So don't put the pressure on yourself to do it alone either.