March 17, 2024 • 37 mins
In this empowering episode, Gia engages in a thought-provoking conversation with Allison Hare, a former sales executive turned women's lifestyle coach.
Allison shares her personal journey of transitioning from over-functioning to finding authentic fulfillment. Together, they explore the importance of reclaiming energy, setting boundaries, and embracing creative experiments as tools for personal reinvention.
Discover how Allison's experience with dance and nature led her to redefine success and find joy in the present moment. Gain valuable insights on unlearning limiting beliefs, surrounding yourself with supportive communities, and taking small steps towards a more fulfilling life.
Tune in to this episode to learn practical strategies for stepping out of the over-functioning cycle, redefining success on your terms, and giving yourself permission in your journey towards self-discovery and healing.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome to Your Future Starts Now, the go-to podcast for
extraordinary women who are ready to step into their next chapter with
authentic confidence. I'm your host, Gia Lacqua, empowerment coach,
motivational speaker, children's book author, and girl mom. Whether
you're a corporate powerhouse or an entrepreneur, this show is
designed for you. Your Future Starts Now is more than
(00:20):
just a podcast. It's a movement, a movement towards rewriting
the rules of success for high-achieving women. Are you ready
to get unstuck and step into your next chapter? If
so, you are exactly where you need to be. Your future starts
now. Welcome to Your Future Starts
Now. I'm your host, Gia Lacqua. Thanks for tuning in today. I
(00:43):
am thrilled to introduce you to Allison Hare. Allison
is a former sales executive turned women's lifestyle coach
with a special heart for over-functioning moms who secretly
are running themselves into the ground that nobody would ever know. She's
the host of the award-winning top 1.5% globally
ranked podcast, Late Learner, and a personal coach for
(01:05):
professional mothers and a keynote speaker. Alison, welcome
Such an honor. So Allison, you and I, I think do,
you know, the work that we do is very similar. And you and I both
work with, you know, professional women who are
(01:26):
overwhelmed and typically under fulfilled. But
there's a key term that you and I both use, and I think it would be good to just
start there as a point of reference. Can you talk a
little bit about overfunctioning? What
is overfunctioning? What does it look like and how does that show up?
Yeah, thank you for that. Overfunctioning is actually
(01:49):
It's another way to say burnout, if I'm being completely
honest, because people that are over functioning are
doing it all. They're doing it all because they can
do it all. And so I think that that generationally,
like we're raised in kind of a Gen X millennial
(02:11):
generation where the messaging was
I want you to be everything you can be.
You can be anything you want as a woman. You can be anything you want. You
should also get the degree, get the big job, get
the stable income. But also the messaging has
(02:32):
always been you also need to be real thin skinny. You
need to make sure that you bounce right back after pregnancies. You
don't skip a beat. You're doing it all. And so I think that the overfunctioning
was kind of a result of you you
know, like the confused messaging of doing it all meant
like, well, I can do it all. So I'm going to do it
(02:53):
all. I do it better. I have more control that
way. And I think you get to a certain point in
life. Usually I've seen you hit around 40, you
know, and again, it could, it could happen, but it happens more
and more where you kind of are playing into, well, let me
just get the house, get me, you know, the, let me get the kids and
(03:14):
get married and do all of these things. And then you're working,
you get the corner office, you have maybe a little cushion
financially, and you look around and you're like, wait a
minute, I don't know why I'm not happy. I'm
so appreciative, I love what I've done, I'm grateful, but
I also feel guilt because why can't this
(03:37):
be enough? Why do I feel like there's something knocking on
my door that says your purpose is not what
you're doing right now? And that tension and
that frustration is like, well, if, you know, the messaging was
always, if you work harder, then you'll get what you want. You need to
outwork. It was that hustle culture. And now I think it's just unwinding.
(03:58):
And I think that those deeply embedded messages were
that you have to over-function. You have to always be on the
Oh, absolutely. I think what you said is so powerful and probably resonates
with millions of women. So the overfunctioning is
so interesting because I think a lot of the times we don't know
(04:20):
that we're stuck in the overfunctioning zone. Right. And,
you know, the other part of the challenge, I think, is, yes, we are so caught
up in the external expectations and checking the box of things that we think we're
supposed to do, realizing that, you know, to your point, maybe we're not
fulfilling our purpose or fulfilling what we need internally. But
there also becomes this external expectation of,
(04:43):
well, she can do it. Right. And then the demand becomes even
greater of, oh, I'll just let her do it. Right. So when we over
function, what happens is people, other people
under function. And I think that can become a very,
very vicious cycle and very challenging to
break, especially on your own. So yeah,
(05:04):
thanks for explaining that. How did you get
to where you are today? You have a background in sales. Tell us a little bit
Yeah, it's funny because when I was
younger, I'm one of seven children. My
mom and dad had six kids together. My mother was the stay
at home mom and she beat it into me and my sister's heads.
(05:28):
Never rely on a man to make money. Always make your own because she
did not make that choice. And she really, really paid for
it. You know, like she really struggled with her health, with finances till
the day she died. And so I kind of took that,
you know, like I want to make my mom proud. I want to make my dad proud. My dad
was a workaholic that was like being workaholic, you
(05:49):
know, and that that kind of paved the
way for my entire career. And I'm still a
workaholic, you know, it's always a work in progress. Um,
some of those habits really do die hard, but it,
it turned into where I had a lot
of creative things that I wouldn't have acknowledged as
(06:09):
creative. You know, I wasn't painting or
singing or doing any of those things, but where
I felt like I was coming alive was on
a microphone. And I, um, was,
I found my college radio station and.
had a radio show and it was just all I wanted to
(06:30):
do was to be on radio. And when I got out of college, I
applied for like, I think I sent like a stack
of pizzas with my resume and a demo tape on top and the
demo tape was a total disaster. And they,
you know, like they thanked me for the pizza, but the answer was no. And
throughout my whole career, the creative side was talking
(06:51):
on a mic, was journalism, was being able to interview people,
being able to have meaningful conversations, be able to share
ideas. Before TED Talks were a thing. And
I always ended up picking the money and the
money was sales, right? Like the money was, and I was great at it
and I'm still great at it. So like being
(07:13):
able to do that and being rewarded. I always
put the creative side on a shelf and just
ended up working in these higher and higher positions in
the corporate world in corporate sales. So I worked for huge
Fortune 500 companies, Salesforce, DocuSign, ADP. and
was really well rewarded with trips, with money, with 401k,
(07:36):
with retirement, with all of the things, you know, like my
husband, my kids are going to private school, all of these things
where I had the comforts. But it felt like the further I
got away from the creative side or that
the more dissonance, I felt that I was not fully expressed.
I felt like when I went into work, I would
(07:59):
do these creative things. Like I would join Toastmasters. I
started the podcast five years ago. I ran
a music blog where I would interview emerging artists
and I would just do it on the side. And I thought, well, if I can do those during the
day and kind of wet my appetite for
creativity on the side, And also noting
(08:20):
the the ego involved of like, what
am I going to do quit and become a yoga instructor? You know, I there
was a lot of ego built into, you
know, kind of what that looks like of what happens if
you pivot, but it got to a point where I just could
no longer put on the mask and I was starting to get anxiety
(08:42):
attacks. I thought I was having a heart attack. I didn't know. I didn't
suffer from that before. It really showed up physically. And
there were a couple of glimmers of hope that
kind of became the catalyst that changed everything for
me. So I ended up leaving my corporate life
(09:03):
in 2022 after a tarot reading that said
it was time to go. And I was like, well, It must be in
the cards. It's time to go. And I somehow got my
husband on board and it's been a wild odyssey ever since. But
That's amazing. I love it. So, you
know, one thing I do want to take a moment to recognize and
(09:26):
appreciate about what you just said in your story is you
felt called to the microphone in some way, right? Like you
had this instinct that it was something that
you enjoyed and something perhaps that you were meant to do. And
you explored that. And I think that's so incredibly
powerful when we can tap into our intuition and
(09:49):
really explore what's coming up for us. Because I think so often as
women, we're conditioned to suppress and ignore, right, the
feelings that are coming up and sort of just keep
marching on, keep on keeping on. And so
I love that you were able to do that and then sort of unearth that
(10:10):
Yeah. Yeah. Do you want to hear what happened? That was
so wild. Absolutely. Okay. So
I was like at the height of my burnout and I used to
work out from five till five 30 in the morning. I worked with a
trainer and everything from five 30 till nine
30 at night was owed to somebody else. I was working,
(10:32):
I was, you know, handling kids stuff and podcasts, like
everything was owed. But that little sliver of time was all
I had. Um, and I, um,
my, my trainer had gone away for a week on vacation and
it was around Christmas. So I actually had a little bit of flexibility because
I, I'm an over-functioner. So I would plan every single moment of
(10:54):
my day every day. And that was what felt comfortable for me
because I didn't have to stop and think that I might not be happy. You
know, I don't want to mess the apple cart. And I
started looking in ClassPass. You guys, do you know what ClassPass is?
It's like, it's this aggregate of
participating gyms that you can go in and
(11:16):
you pay a membership to ClassPass and you can drop into, you
know, a whole myriad of gyms, studios, whatever it
is, fitness stuff. So I remember like, what should I do while he's gone?
And I was like, should I do weightlifting or HIIT workouts? And
I was like, wait a minute. what do I want to do? And I
was like, I want to dance. I want to go take a dance class.
(11:37):
I always thought that was fun. I have no dance background. I
took I took this dance class. And I felt
like I was struck by lightning. And it was there were
like 60 people in it. It was dark. The
mirrors were sweaty because there were so many people like
you couldn't even see in the mirror, which was great because I was out
(11:58):
of my I wasn't in my head. I was more in my body. And
it felt like I was struck by lightning and not that I picked up the moves
really easily. I didn't. I'm still pretty uncoordinated. But
it it it felt like freedom. It
felt like this intense rush. of
like feeling good. And I remember asking
(12:21):
myself, am I allowed to feel this good? Which is
such a messed up question to ask, you know? Like I was so used
to just being wound so tight, just doing, doing, doing, doing
that the ability to like open your arms wide
and take up space and move your body and be in your body again
was pivotal for me. And I ended
(12:44):
up becoming a dance fitness instructor because I was like, I want to give
this to more women, you know, and I and also challenge myself.
It was almost like you can. It was like this little open door
of fun. Right. Like I call it fractures of light where,
you know, you just outgrow where you are. And so if you're in an egg
and it's cracking and there's light, what happens if you push on that crack? And
(13:06):
that's what I did from a dance perspective. But
continuing to do the dance thing, it
felt like I was restoring confidence and
I was feeling what joy looked like again. And so
like the microphone, like being on a podcast, I felt completely
(13:27):
in my element, like it felt like it feels so
bad at work. It was like a total no feeling in my body for
work where I just felt like I was faking it. And
being on the mic and dancing felt like a total yes feeling. But
like from a practical standpoint, what do I do? And
so that was the question. And you know, when I did leave my
(13:49):
corporate job, I left with no plan on purpose. And
I made one decision and that I was going to make no decisions until
I get to hear my own voice again. And it took months. It
took so many months and it took some very unconventional approaches.
And in the meantime, I had found Brand Builders
(14:10):
Group, which is how we are connected, a personal brand strategy
firm. And that really, really helped kind
of define what am I going to do next? How do I make a viable business
with all the skills and talents and you
know, passions that I have and put it where I
can be of service to the world and not be burning out
(14:34):
You know, that's such an incredible story. I love it. And I also have,
actually, I have a dance background and it is so liberating and
freeing. You do? I do. And it's a form of artistic expression.
So I spent 15 years as a dancer.
I did competition when I was younger. I was a dance instructor for
a short period of time. And I joke around that dance was
(14:55):
my first language because I think it's such a creative form of expression, right?
There's things that you can't put into words, but you can
express in different forms of art. And I think dance can just be so powerful. Oh,
I love that. Yeah, so totally relate to you on that. Um,
I, you know, and I love that you explored that and asked yourself, what do I
want? I think we don't ask ourselves that question enough. What
(15:17):
do I want? Right. Because we're fulfilling everybody else's needs and
demands. Or my favorite is like, what do I need? What do I
need in this moment? And just pausing to your point, finding your
voice, like understanding, you know, what is going on in
your body that my body connection is so powerful. And then being
able to find your voices is so important. And
then the authenticity, right? It sounds like you were able to really step into
(15:41):
your power by finding what felt authentic to you
and what felt purposeful and meaningful to you. So,
you know, it sounds like dance was a big part of that transformation for you in
terms of stepping out of the over-functioning. I'm curious what
other tools or strategies, anything else
that you did that, you know, helped you stepped out of the over-functioning, you
(16:03):
know, persona and, you know, your former role into where
Yeah, there are a bunch
of things. I've actually put frameworks around some of this stuff.
And I think, you know, when I work with clients, one
of the first things we do is how do you restore your energy? You
(16:24):
know, when you are so overfunctioning, you're
depleted. And like in my world,
burnout is just a misalignment between your
dreams and the activities you do all day.
If you don't love what you're doing all day, then it's going to deplete your energy.
And so the first thing is like a restoration. And it
(16:45):
can be so simple. And some of the
things that I've found that have been really helpful of what
can restore your energy, it really is just a presence.
And what I did was, what are some things that make
me happy that doesn't take a lot of time? And one
of the first things that I do with my clients is like,
(17:08):
if you could put your hand on your heart, because it
automatically will signal to your body that
it's okay to rest, that you are being held, like I'm putting
my both hands on my heart, like I'm hugging my heart.
So part of it is like, just what does it
feel like to actually feel your
(17:30):
shoulders lower, just the act of having your shoulders lower,
even though they may crawl right back up to earrings, you know, um,
that they may have been before just practicing that.
And so one of the things, at least for me, like I made a whole
list of them and one of them is like drinking tea, you
know, like coffee, you can like pound a monster drink or whatever, but
(17:52):
like tea, you, you sip, like you savor it. And
so it's almost taking a moment to be present. For
me, it really was nature. And what
I had done when I left is I
did a whole bunch of unconventional things and crazy stuff,
like I went and did solo overnight hikes, I
(18:13):
did 12 hour walks, I did psychedelic assisted therapy, it
was guided, I didn't even do that stuff in college, you know, and
it was all a desire to
reconnect and really hear who am I if I'm not
you know, superstar salesperson, if I'm not superstar
earner, you know, like, and that's what I was honestly
(18:36):
taught to value or what I assumed was
my value. And so nature kind
of brought a lot back to me because it was the place where
I didn't feel one for anything. I felt safe
and held. And so some of the
practical pieces of what we do is where is your fuel
(18:58):
and energy? And if you could list 10 to 15 things
that truly light you up, not things you should do.
Like if you don't feel like lifting weights, if that doesn't get
you super excited, but you know you should do it, don't put it on your list.
But make a list of like 10 or 15 things of just you
know, what it feels like to just go outside in the morning
(19:21):
and listen until you hear the birds. And that could
be it. It could take 30 seconds. Like listen until
you can actually feel your body just start to
relax. It really is like a regulation of your nervous system. So
if you do that, you know, every single day, even
if it's just once, even if it's for 30 seconds, I know when
(19:41):
you're over functioning and you're, you know,
feeling overwhelmed and underfulfilled. I really like that. I
know it can be hard to find 10 minutes. It can be hard to find,
you know, the stillness enough to meditate. And in some
people, meditation and peace is found in movement and
in motion. and letting that be okay too. So
(20:03):
really it's finding your own rhythm of
what that looks like. And I even put together like a free
PDF, you know, where people can get energy,
where it has like 40 different ideas, but also a worksheet for you
so that you can like print it out and just have it in
front of you so that you can easily just go there
(20:23):
and give yourself permission to be present to you.
And if it sucks, acknowledging that it sucks right now. and letting
that be okay and holding yourself and just acknowledging with
I love that. I love how you weren't afraid to try some of
those different healing modalities and figure out what works
for you because you don't know, right, until you try. I mean, I
(20:46):
remember years ago, everybody was talking about meditation and
you have to meditate and I couldn't meditate. I tried
different apps. I tried different instructors. I
tried different times, different places. And for me, it was
something I felt like I just couldn't do. And so sometimes sitting
in that uncomfortable silence and just sitting with the
(21:08):
feelings that come up is the most powerful thing you can do.
But it does take some practice and some work there. So
I love that. Tell me more about reinvention.
What does reinvention mean to you?
You've talked a little bit about your personal journey, but talk a
little bit about shedding old identities and embracing a
(21:32):
Oh, now you're talking my language to you. You know, like I
work on a, like kind of a three point framework. The first one is like,
you got to get some energy, right? Like you got to figure out what your fuel
and energy is. The second part is, is
creating margin for yourself. And. That looks
like setting boundaries. And so I was taught that
(21:54):
whenever you feel resentment towards somebody else,
that's where a boundary needs to be set, which is a really hard truth
of like, huh, you know, you have people and loved ones.
And so creating margin and a lot of places is
really taking a look at the identities, you know, and
a lot of them may look like, um, if
(22:19):
you, I don't know if you're, if you're, I'm not saying to ditch all
your friends, that's not what I'm saying at all, but like taking stock
of like, do I feel better? Do
I feel fueled by this engagement or
do you feel like maybe some of the passive aggressive digs,
they might be kind of digging in there or you become
(22:40):
more judgy when you're with them, you know, or you become more
gossipy, you know, like really defining Wait
a minute, I actually have a choice here. And I have a choice of where
do I invest my time. And I remember being in
a group of friends, I used to be involved with CrossFit. So if
you're into CrossFit, you know, it's like a it's a cult. I
(23:04):
was proud of my cult CrossFit friends, but I
had these friends that I had been getting together
with for years. And as I was leaving my
corporate job and really trying to figure out like there's a lot of emotional
releasing and learning and unlearning that it happens when
you leave a corporate job. And one of my
(23:26):
friends had told me, Alison, when you leave, you
need to be ruthless about the people you
spend your time with because it and it
is through no fault of their own, but it
can take you down. And so really being intentional about
the people you have close to you that are going to protect you and is going to
(23:47):
move you forward is going to be really, really important. So
I would start to see that I would see friends that I
had been with for a long time, and they'd be like, why are you doing that? I
don't get it. Why don't you just go get a job? Like, why don't you just find
something better? And it was
like, I can't, you know, like, I just have to keep a
(24:07):
little more distance. Even though I know they meant well, And
again, it wasn't a ditching your friends like kind of thing, but
it was like intentionally putting people in your
zone. So that way you never have to,
like for me, the litmus test is if I find myself explaining
(24:28):
in order for you to tell me that what I'm doing is
validated, then that's a problem. You know, like,
but you can find communities that are like, you
know, that sounds like a great idea. Let's put a strategy and a,
you know, execution plan together. Let's figure it out. That
is the kind of people that I want to hang out with. So it's important from
(24:49):
like the energy piece, but then you're creating boundaries, creating
margin. And then the other piece is the creative experiments.
And that's where things get super exciting. Because
once you get a little bit of space and you start asking
those questions, what do I want to do? Then
you have license to just experiment. It
(25:12):
doesn't mean that you're committed for life. If you want to take a hip hop class, go
take a hip hop class. If you want to think about, you
love landscaping. I don't know. I love pulling weeds.
I find it really, really relaxing somehow. You
know, there are so many things that you can do that
(25:33):
just light you up. And so part of it is like, again,
making a list of like, what would be fun to do? Not
like what would be prestigious, like, but what would really
light you up? And it's kind of giving yourself permission to
go down those rabbit holes. It's kind of like, oh, I keep meaning
to Google. What would it be like, you know, like questions or
(25:54):
a different industry or just looking online with no expectations
and no commitments yet? You know, you're just experimenting
and finding people in your world that
will support that mission and that will hold you accountable and
that will help guide you is really, really critical
(26:16):
to making sure that people understand your language, they understand you,
they understand where you're going and surrounding yourself with
people that will do it with you or at least give you support to
continue exploring. And it's okay to fail, you
Totally, totally. Such powerful advice. I love the way you talked about
in terms of like reclaiming your energy, setting boundaries, finding
(26:39):
the right people in your community and examining your
relationships, right? Figuring out who are the people in your corner. It
is so hard. I have found sometimes we have to challenge. longstanding
relationships that we've had, right? Because we all grow as individuals.
And if people aren't growing with you, sometimes that can be really difficult. And
then the creative experiments and exploring what fuels you,
(27:02):
what lights you up. And sometimes you don't know until you try. So I love that. You
also talked about giving yourself permission, which is I think is really critical
for high achieving women in terms of letting ourselves in,
you know, be in this space and explore even though
it doesn't, you know, subscribe to traditional
measures of success, right, that we've been taught. And
(27:25):
also unlearning, right? It's something that I've also, I focus
a lot on in the work that I do is unlearning the ingrained thinking,
limiting beliefs, the patterns that we get stuck in.
So I think that's super important as well. Yeah.
I'm curious when you think about you
(27:45):
know, women who might be in that phase where they feel stuck,
they feel that fear of whether it be judgment or
what's next, what if, right? We often get stuck
in the what if cycle. You know, so anyone
who might be considering either a career change, relationship change, whatever
that might be, what advice do you have for them? Like, what is
(28:11):
I think first is the acknowledgement of
how important it is to feel like you belong and
belonging to those communities that may have really supported you
in the past. and realizing you may have outgrown
that there is a mourning that happens. And I think collectively, we've
all been experiencing it after the pandemic. I
(28:32):
don't want to speak for everybody, but at least in my community and
in general, I find that people after the pandemic
have really taken stock, like they've learned how to work in a different
way and realize that it doesn't have to be this
way. If it's not lighting you up, if it's not
fulfilling, if it's under fulfilling and you feel like Is
(28:54):
there some other way that I need to show up
and be fulfilled? And so I think acknowledging that that
tension is an activator. And so kind of recognizing
that tension you feel and understanding that there is
a morning that happens as you walk away from
a job or even consider what that could look like, because
(29:15):
now you're in a position of control and power. And
so I think the power piece of like redefining um,
that this is a powerful position that you get to redesign. You
get to redesign right now and know that it's
not, you know, like you just easily step on off one platform
and onto the other and everything's better. You know, like there's, there's
(29:38):
a lot that goes into it. So I
think as people are considering what does that look like, you have
to give yourself permission to let your mind wander and
write down like what are some wild ideas, what would be super
fun, things that would light you up
and be, you know, like maybe you're being, feel like you're
(30:00):
being called to serve or want to explore something
that you've never explored. For me, I think that the key is
always novelty. That as you introduce something new,
it could be even just taking a different route to
take your kids to school in the morning of just, you
know, like they say, even passion in your relationship. Like
(30:21):
sometimes my husband, my husband and I have been married for uh,
like 12 or 13 years. Um, and sometimes we'll
say, you know, what would be fun? Why don't we have a picnic on our floor? You
know, like we don't have to do anything fancy or spend
a lot of money. We're doing it differently because we want to be
intentional about novelty. And so figuring
(30:42):
out what that could look like again, it starts so small is
just allowing yourself to take a different turn.
to try something, to say yes to something that
you wanna say yes to, to call people
that pop into your head or just text them, hey, I'm thinking about you.
You never know. And just keeping those connections make
(31:06):
a huge difference. And even like all the neuroscience says that
just that novelty part of introducing something new
opens new possibilities, new neural pathways that
you can redesign, You're in power. You
are in power when you do something new. And
it is the easiest, simplest start, simplest
(31:29):
way to start is just by doing something new.
I love that. I had a guest on recently and she
said the advice that she got from a former boss and mentor was start
by starting. Right. And so it's just, you know, figure
out what is that one step. And I think that is something so simple. yet
powerful to your point that we can do to shift our energy from
(31:55):
Yeah, for sure. Allison, last
question for you. We talk a lot about success and redefining success
on this podcast. So I, you know, would love to know from
your perspective, how do you define success?
Yeah, this one is hard because I think I'm hardwired for
(32:16):
money equals success. And, and
being able to, to make a different relationship
with money is an ongoing journey. I
remember my friend had called me and she said, Alison,
if you, you know, are fast forward to 80 years old
(32:37):
and you look back, what do you want your life to look like? And
I remember I was sitting in a parking lot. I was talking to her and
there was like a sunrise, a sunset rather. So
like the, the sky was fully beautiful and I
was newly had left the corporate world, but
I had freedom. I had family. My,
(32:59):
I have an incredible. incredible marriage
and a very happy home, something I'm very, very
precious about, you know? And all I could concern
myself was the money. Like, how, how
do I figure this out? And I remember like,
wait a minute, it's right now. Like I have The
(33:20):
freedom, I have the freedom to experiment. I have the freedom, you
know, to be more present for my kids and
my husband. And I'm looking at
this beautiful sunset and I have a friend who's asking me
this really smart question. So I think it
really is in those small moments when you're present, and you know, you're
(33:41):
okay. And that is part of like, the power of
just honestly, just putting your hands on your chest. I'm not terribly
woo woo. I mean, I think we all secretly are. But
I, you know, like, there's a line, right? Like, I don't have a sorceress in my on
speed dial or anything, you know. But I Like
having just being able to calm your nervous system. Yes.
(34:04):
And be in a position where you are saying, I'm safe.
And I have everything I need. And for right now, I'm
really happy about that. And just, you know, I
think happiness is fleeting. But like finding the presence,
and knowing that you are supported and
loved by the universe and God or whatever it is for you.
(34:27):
I think the more you can access that, and again, it's
not like I don't believe in toxic gratitude
of like, you know, just kind of railroading your feelings and say,
well, I'm so grateful at least I have this. That's not what I mean
Yeah. And I love the advice of the hand over the heart. It's a technique that I
(34:48):
use too. And I think it's, there's something very powerful about it
and reconnecting with your body and some somatic work, um,
can go a long way. So, I mean, we, we could talk
Yes. Yes. So Allison, I want to thank you
so much for being here, for sharing your insights and expertise and,
(35:10):
you know, your story. How can our listeners connect with you?
Oh, thank you for sharing that. Well, the easiest way is Late Learner Podcast.
And it is super fun. If you
wanted to get that energy list,
you can go to alisonhair.com forward slash energy, and
(35:31):
I'll send you a free PDF of it. But alisonhair.com, Alison
underscore, underscore hair on Instagram is
probably where I'm the most active. But thank you so much for this, Gia.
Of course. Thank you, Allison. And of course, you can visit
my website at GiaLacqua.com. Reach out on Instagram at
(35:51):
GiaLacqua. On the homepage of my website or on the bio
link in Instagram, you can download your complimentary copy of From
Chaos to Clarity, a 30-day journal for self-discovery and
healing. This is Gia signing off with gratitude for your time and
energy. Our mic drops, but the movement continues. Until next
time, your next chapter is waiting. Take care. That
(36:11):
concludes another empowering episode of Your Future Starts Now.
Before we wrap up, I want to thank this incredible community of high-achieving women.
Your energy, resilience, and commitment to growth are the driving force
behind what we do. If you enjoyed today's episode, please rate
it, leave a review, and don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Your
feedback fuels our mission to empower high-achieving women just like
(36:33):
you. And of course, share Your Future Starts Now with the extraordinary women
in your life who are also on a journey of healing and empowerment. Connect
with us on social media, share your thoughts, let us know what topics you'd like to
explore in future episodes. Stay connected on Instagram at
Gia Lacqua. I encourage you to carry the energy of this conversation
into your day and keep on supporting the incredible women around you.
Welcome to Your Future Starts Now, the go-to podcast for
extraordinary women who are ready to step into their next chapter with
authentic confidence. I'm your host, Gia Lacqua, empowerment coach,
motivational speaker, children's book author, and girl mom. Whether
you're a corporate powerhouse or an entrepreneur, this show is
designed for you. Your Future Starts Now is more than
(00:20):
just a podcast. It's a movement, a movement towards rewriting
the rules of success for high-achieving women. Are you ready
to get unstuck and step into your next chapter? If
so, you are exactly where you need to be. Your future starts
now. Welcome to Your Future Starts
Now. I'm your host, Gia Lacqua. Thanks for tuning in today. I
(00:43):
am thrilled to introduce you to Allison Hare. Allison
is a former sales executive turned women's lifestyle coach
with a special heart for over-functioning moms who secretly
are running themselves into the ground that nobody would ever know. She's
the host of the award-winning top 1.5% globally
ranked podcast, Late Learner, and a personal coach for
(01:05):
professional mothers and a keynote speaker. Alison, welcome
Such an honor. So Allison, you and I, I think do,
you know, the work that we do is very similar. And you and I both
work with, you know, professional women who are
(01:26):
overwhelmed and typically under fulfilled. But
there's a key term that you and I both use, and I think it would be good to just
start there as a point of reference. Can you talk a
little bit about overfunctioning? What
is overfunctioning? What does it look like and how does that show up?
Yeah, thank you for that. Overfunctioning is actually
(01:49):
It's another way to say burnout, if I'm being completely
honest, because people that are over functioning are
doing it all. They're doing it all because they can
do it all. And so I think that that generationally,
like we're raised in kind of a Gen X millennial
(02:11):
generation where the messaging was
I want you to be everything you can be.
You can be anything you want as a woman. You can be anything you want. You
should also get the degree, get the big job, get
the stable income. But also the messaging has
(02:32):
always been you also need to be real thin skinny. You
need to make sure that you bounce right back after pregnancies. You
don't skip a beat. You're doing it all. And so I think that the overfunctioning
was kind of a result of you you
know, like the confused messaging of doing it all meant
like, well, I can do it all. So I'm going to do it
(02:53):
all. I do it better. I have more control that
way. And I think you get to a certain point in
life. Usually I've seen you hit around 40, you
know, and again, it could, it could happen, but it happens more
and more where you kind of are playing into, well, let me
just get the house, get me, you know, the, let me get the kids and
(03:14):
get married and do all of these things. And then you're working,
you get the corner office, you have maybe a little cushion
financially, and you look around and you're like, wait a
minute, I don't know why I'm not happy. I'm
so appreciative, I love what I've done, I'm grateful, but
I also feel guilt because why can't this
(03:37):
be enough? Why do I feel like there's something knocking on
my door that says your purpose is not what
you're doing right now? And that tension and
that frustration is like, well, if, you know, the messaging was
always, if you work harder, then you'll get what you want. You need to
outwork. It was that hustle culture. And now I think it's just unwinding.
(03:58):
And I think that those deeply embedded messages were
that you have to over-function. You have to always be on the
Oh, absolutely. I think what you said is so powerful and probably resonates
with millions of women. So the overfunctioning is
so interesting because I think a lot of the times we don't know
(04:20):
that we're stuck in the overfunctioning zone. Right. And,
you know, the other part of the challenge, I think, is, yes, we are so caught
up in the external expectations and checking the box of things that we think we're
supposed to do, realizing that, you know, to your point, maybe we're not
fulfilling our purpose or fulfilling what we need internally. But
there also becomes this external expectation of,
(04:43):
well, she can do it. Right. And then the demand becomes even
greater of, oh, I'll just let her do it. Right. So when we over
function, what happens is people, other people
under function. And I think that can become a very,
very vicious cycle and very challenging to
break, especially on your own. So yeah,
(05:04):
thanks for explaining that. How did you get
to where you are today? You have a background in sales. Tell us a little bit
Yeah, it's funny because when I was
younger, I'm one of seven children. My
mom and dad had six kids together. My mother was the stay
at home mom and she beat it into me and my sister's heads.
(05:28):
Never rely on a man to make money. Always make your own because she
did not make that choice. And she really, really paid for
it. You know, like she really struggled with her health, with finances till
the day she died. And so I kind of took that,
you know, like I want to make my mom proud. I want to make my dad proud. My dad
was a workaholic that was like being workaholic, you
(05:49):
know, and that that kind of paved the
way for my entire career. And I'm still a
workaholic, you know, it's always a work in progress. Um,
some of those habits really do die hard, but it,
it turned into where I had a lot
of creative things that I wouldn't have acknowledged as
(06:09):
creative. You know, I wasn't painting or
singing or doing any of those things, but where
I felt like I was coming alive was on
a microphone. And I, um, was,
I found my college radio station and.
had a radio show and it was just all I wanted to
(06:30):
do was to be on radio. And when I got out of college, I
applied for like, I think I sent like a stack
of pizzas with my resume and a demo tape on top and the
demo tape was a total disaster. And they,
you know, like they thanked me for the pizza, but the answer was no. And
throughout my whole career, the creative side was talking
(06:51):
on a mic, was journalism, was being able to interview people,
being able to have meaningful conversations, be able to share
ideas. Before TED Talks were a thing. And
I always ended up picking the money and the
money was sales, right? Like the money was, and I was great at it
and I'm still great at it. So like being
(07:13):
able to do that and being rewarded. I always
put the creative side on a shelf and just
ended up working in these higher and higher positions in
the corporate world in corporate sales. So I worked for huge
Fortune 500 companies, Salesforce, DocuSign, ADP. and
was really well rewarded with trips, with money, with 401k,
(07:36):
with retirement, with all of the things, you know, like my
husband, my kids are going to private school, all of these things
where I had the comforts. But it felt like the further I
got away from the creative side or that
the more dissonance, I felt that I was not fully expressed.
I felt like when I went into work, I would
(07:59):
do these creative things. Like I would join Toastmasters. I
started the podcast five years ago. I ran
a music blog where I would interview emerging artists
and I would just do it on the side. And I thought, well, if I can do those during the
day and kind of wet my appetite for
creativity on the side, And also noting
(08:20):
the the ego involved of like, what
am I going to do quit and become a yoga instructor? You know, I there
was a lot of ego built into, you
know, kind of what that looks like of what happens if
you pivot, but it got to a point where I just could
no longer put on the mask and I was starting to get anxiety
(08:42):
attacks. I thought I was having a heart attack. I didn't know. I didn't
suffer from that before. It really showed up physically. And
there were a couple of glimmers of hope that
kind of became the catalyst that changed everything for
me. So I ended up leaving my corporate life
(09:03):
in 2022 after a tarot reading that said
it was time to go. And I was like, well, It must be in
the cards. It's time to go. And I somehow got my
husband on board and it's been a wild odyssey ever since. But
That's amazing. I love it. So, you
know, one thing I do want to take a moment to recognize and
(09:26):
appreciate about what you just said in your story is you
felt called to the microphone in some way, right? Like you
had this instinct that it was something that
you enjoyed and something perhaps that you were meant to do. And
you explored that. And I think that's so incredibly
powerful when we can tap into our intuition and
(09:49):
really explore what's coming up for us. Because I think so often as
women, we're conditioned to suppress and ignore, right, the
feelings that are coming up and sort of just keep
marching on, keep on keeping on. And so
I love that you were able to do that and then sort of unearth that
(10:10):
Yeah. Yeah. Do you want to hear what happened? That was
so wild. Absolutely. Okay. So
I was like at the height of my burnout and I used to
work out from five till five 30 in the morning. I worked with a
trainer and everything from five 30 till nine
30 at night was owed to somebody else. I was working,
(10:32):
I was, you know, handling kids stuff and podcasts, like
everything was owed. But that little sliver of time was all
I had. Um, and I, um,
my, my trainer had gone away for a week on vacation and
it was around Christmas. So I actually had a little bit of flexibility because
I, I'm an over-functioner. So I would plan every single moment of
(10:54):
my day every day. And that was what felt comfortable for me
because I didn't have to stop and think that I might not be happy. You
know, I don't want to mess the apple cart. And I
started looking in ClassPass. You guys, do you know what ClassPass is?
It's like, it's this aggregate of
participating gyms that you can go in and
(11:16):
you pay a membership to ClassPass and you can drop into, you
know, a whole myriad of gyms, studios, whatever it
is, fitness stuff. So I remember like, what should I do while he's gone?
And I was like, should I do weightlifting or HIIT workouts? And
I was like, wait a minute. what do I want to do? And I
was like, I want to dance. I want to go take a dance class.
(11:37):
I always thought that was fun. I have no dance background. I
took I took this dance class. And I felt
like I was struck by lightning. And it was there were
like 60 people in it. It was dark. The
mirrors were sweaty because there were so many people like
you couldn't even see in the mirror, which was great because I was out
(11:58):
of my I wasn't in my head. I was more in my body. And
it felt like I was struck by lightning and not that I picked up the moves
really easily. I didn't. I'm still pretty uncoordinated. But
it it it felt like freedom. It
felt like this intense rush. of
like feeling good. And I remember asking
(12:21):
myself, am I allowed to feel this good? Which is
such a messed up question to ask, you know? Like I was so used
to just being wound so tight, just doing, doing, doing, doing
that the ability to like open your arms wide
and take up space and move your body and be in your body again
was pivotal for me. And I ended
(12:44):
up becoming a dance fitness instructor because I was like, I want to give
this to more women, you know, and I and also challenge myself.
It was almost like you can. It was like this little open door
of fun. Right. Like I call it fractures of light where,
you know, you just outgrow where you are. And so if you're in an egg
and it's cracking and there's light, what happens if you push on that crack? And
(13:06):
that's what I did from a dance perspective. But
continuing to do the dance thing, it
felt like I was restoring confidence and
I was feeling what joy looked like again. And so
like the microphone, like being on a podcast, I felt completely
(13:27):
in my element, like it felt like it feels so
bad at work. It was like a total no feeling in my body for
work where I just felt like I was faking it. And
being on the mic and dancing felt like a total yes feeling. But
like from a practical standpoint, what do I do? And
so that was the question. And you know, when I did leave my
(13:49):
corporate job, I left with no plan on purpose. And
I made one decision and that I was going to make no decisions until
I get to hear my own voice again. And it took months. It
took so many months and it took some very unconventional approaches.
And in the meantime, I had found Brand Builders
(14:10):
Group, which is how we are connected, a personal brand strategy
firm. And that really, really helped kind
of define what am I going to do next? How do I make a viable business
with all the skills and talents and you
know, passions that I have and put it where I
can be of service to the world and not be burning out
(14:34):
You know, that's such an incredible story. I love it. And I also have,
actually, I have a dance background and it is so liberating and
freeing. You do? I do. And it's a form of artistic expression.
So I spent 15 years as a dancer.
I did competition when I was younger. I was a dance instructor for
a short period of time. And I joke around that dance was
(14:55):
my first language because I think it's such a creative form of expression, right?
There's things that you can't put into words, but you can
express in different forms of art. And I think dance can just be so powerful. Oh,
I love that. Yeah, so totally relate to you on that. Um,
I, you know, and I love that you explored that and asked yourself, what do I
want? I think we don't ask ourselves that question enough. What
(15:17):
do I want? Right. Because we're fulfilling everybody else's needs and
demands. Or my favorite is like, what do I need? What do I
need in this moment? And just pausing to your point, finding your
voice, like understanding, you know, what is going on in
your body that my body connection is so powerful. And then being
able to find your voices is so important. And
then the authenticity, right? It sounds like you were able to really step into
(15:41):
your power by finding what felt authentic to you
and what felt purposeful and meaningful to you. So,
you know, it sounds like dance was a big part of that transformation for you in
terms of stepping out of the over-functioning. I'm curious what
other tools or strategies, anything else
that you did that, you know, helped you stepped out of the over-functioning, you
(16:03):
know, persona and, you know, your former role into where
Yeah, there are a bunch
of things. I've actually put frameworks around some of this stuff.
And I think, you know, when I work with clients, one
of the first things we do is how do you restore your energy? You
(16:24):
know, when you are so overfunctioning, you're
depleted. And like in my world,
burnout is just a misalignment between your
dreams and the activities you do all day.
If you don't love what you're doing all day, then it's going to deplete your energy.
And so the first thing is like a restoration. And it
(16:45):
can be so simple. And some of the
things that I've found that have been really helpful of what
can restore your energy, it really is just a presence.
And what I did was, what are some things that make
me happy that doesn't take a lot of time? And one
of the first things that I do with my clients is like,
(17:08):
if you could put your hand on your heart, because it
automatically will signal to your body that
it's okay to rest, that you are being held, like I'm putting
my both hands on my heart, like I'm hugging my heart.
So part of it is like, just what does it
feel like to actually feel your
(17:30):
shoulders lower, just the act of having your shoulders lower,
even though they may crawl right back up to earrings, you know, um,
that they may have been before just practicing that.
And so one of the things, at least for me, like I made a whole
list of them and one of them is like drinking tea, you
know, like coffee, you can like pound a monster drink or whatever, but
(17:52):
like tea, you, you sip, like you savor it. And
so it's almost taking a moment to be present. For
me, it really was nature. And what
I had done when I left is I
did a whole bunch of unconventional things and crazy stuff,
like I went and did solo overnight hikes, I
(18:13):
did 12 hour walks, I did psychedelic assisted therapy, it
was guided, I didn't even do that stuff in college, you know, and
it was all a desire to
reconnect and really hear who am I if I'm not
you know, superstar salesperson, if I'm not superstar
earner, you know, like, and that's what I was honestly
(18:36):
taught to value or what I assumed was
my value. And so nature kind
of brought a lot back to me because it was the place where
I didn't feel one for anything. I felt safe
and held. And so some of the
practical pieces of what we do is where is your fuel
(18:58):
and energy? And if you could list 10 to 15 things
that truly light you up, not things you should do.
Like if you don't feel like lifting weights, if that doesn't get
you super excited, but you know you should do it, don't put it on your list.
But make a list of like 10 or 15 things of just you
know, what it feels like to just go outside in the morning
(19:21):
and listen until you hear the birds. And that could
be it. It could take 30 seconds. Like listen until
you can actually feel your body just start to
relax. It really is like a regulation of your nervous system. So
if you do that, you know, every single day, even
if it's just once, even if it's for 30 seconds, I know when
(19:41):
you're over functioning and you're, you know,
feeling overwhelmed and underfulfilled. I really like that. I
know it can be hard to find 10 minutes. It can be hard to find,
you know, the stillness enough to meditate. And in some
people, meditation and peace is found in movement and
in motion. and letting that be okay too. So
(20:03):
really it's finding your own rhythm of
what that looks like. And I even put together like a free
PDF, you know, where people can get energy,
where it has like 40 different ideas, but also a worksheet for you
so that you can like print it out and just have it in
front of you so that you can easily just go there
(20:23):
and give yourself permission to be present to you.
And if it sucks, acknowledging that it sucks right now. and letting
that be okay and holding yourself and just acknowledging with
I love that. I love how you weren't afraid to try some of
those different healing modalities and figure out what works
for you because you don't know, right, until you try. I mean, I
(20:46):
remember years ago, everybody was talking about meditation and
you have to meditate and I couldn't meditate. I tried
different apps. I tried different instructors. I
tried different times, different places. And for me, it was
something I felt like I just couldn't do. And so sometimes sitting
in that uncomfortable silence and just sitting with the
(21:08):
feelings that come up is the most powerful thing you can do.
But it does take some practice and some work there. So
I love that. Tell me more about reinvention.
What does reinvention mean to you?
You've talked a little bit about your personal journey, but talk a
little bit about shedding old identities and embracing a
(21:32):
Oh, now you're talking my language to you. You know, like I
work on a, like kind of a three point framework. The first one is like,
you got to get some energy, right? Like you got to figure out what your fuel
and energy is. The second part is, is
creating margin for yourself. And. That looks
like setting boundaries. And so I was taught that
(21:54):
whenever you feel resentment towards somebody else,
that's where a boundary needs to be set, which is a really hard truth
of like, huh, you know, you have people and loved ones.
And so creating margin and a lot of places is
really taking a look at the identities, you know, and
a lot of them may look like, um, if
(22:19):
you, I don't know if you're, if you're, I'm not saying to ditch all
your friends, that's not what I'm saying at all, but like taking stock
of like, do I feel better? Do
I feel fueled by this engagement or
do you feel like maybe some of the passive aggressive digs,
they might be kind of digging in there or you become
(22:40):
more judgy when you're with them, you know, or you become more
gossipy, you know, like really defining Wait
a minute, I actually have a choice here. And I have a choice of where
do I invest my time. And I remember being in
a group of friends, I used to be involved with CrossFit. So if
you're into CrossFit, you know, it's like a it's a cult. I
(23:04):
was proud of my cult CrossFit friends, but I
had these friends that I had been getting together
with for years. And as I was leaving my
corporate job and really trying to figure out like there's a lot of emotional
releasing and learning and unlearning that it happens when
you leave a corporate job. And one of my
(23:26):
friends had told me, Alison, when you leave, you
need to be ruthless about the people you
spend your time with because it and it
is through no fault of their own, but it
can take you down. And so really being intentional about
the people you have close to you that are going to protect you and is going to
(23:47):
move you forward is going to be really, really important. So
I would start to see that I would see friends that I
had been with for a long time, and they'd be like, why are you doing that? I
don't get it. Why don't you just go get a job? Like, why don't you just find
something better? And it was
like, I can't, you know, like, I just have to keep a
(24:07):
little more distance. Even though I know they meant well, And
again, it wasn't a ditching your friends like kind of thing, but
it was like intentionally putting people in your
zone. So that way you never have to,
like for me, the litmus test is if I find myself explaining
(24:28):
in order for you to tell me that what I'm doing is
validated, then that's a problem. You know, like,
but you can find communities that are like, you
know, that sounds like a great idea. Let's put a strategy and a,
you know, execution plan together. Let's figure it out. That
is the kind of people that I want to hang out with. So it's important from
(24:49):
like the energy piece, but then you're creating boundaries, creating
margin. And then the other piece is the creative experiments.
And that's where things get super exciting. Because
once you get a little bit of space and you start asking
those questions, what do I want to do? Then
you have license to just experiment. It
(25:12):
doesn't mean that you're committed for life. If you want to take a hip hop class, go
take a hip hop class. If you want to think about, you
love landscaping. I don't know. I love pulling weeds.
I find it really, really relaxing somehow. You
know, there are so many things that you can do that
(25:33):
just light you up. And so part of it is like, again,
making a list of like, what would be fun to do? Not
like what would be prestigious, like, but what would really
light you up? And it's kind of giving yourself permission to
go down those rabbit holes. It's kind of like, oh, I keep meaning
to Google. What would it be like, you know, like questions or
(25:54):
a different industry or just looking online with no expectations
and no commitments yet? You know, you're just experimenting
and finding people in your world that
will support that mission and that will hold you accountable and
that will help guide you is really, really critical
(26:16):
to making sure that people understand your language, they understand you,
they understand where you're going and surrounding yourself with
people that will do it with you or at least give you support to
continue exploring. And it's okay to fail, you
Totally, totally. Such powerful advice. I love the way you talked about
in terms of like reclaiming your energy, setting boundaries, finding
(26:39):
the right people in your community and examining your
relationships, right? Figuring out who are the people in your corner. It
is so hard. I have found sometimes we have to challenge. longstanding
relationships that we've had, right? Because we all grow as individuals.
And if people aren't growing with you, sometimes that can be really difficult. And
then the creative experiments and exploring what fuels you,
(27:02):
what lights you up. And sometimes you don't know until you try. So I love that. You
also talked about giving yourself permission, which is I think is really critical
for high achieving women in terms of letting ourselves in,
you know, be in this space and explore even though
it doesn't, you know, subscribe to traditional
measures of success, right, that we've been taught. And
(27:25):
also unlearning, right? It's something that I've also, I focus
a lot on in the work that I do is unlearning the ingrained thinking,
limiting beliefs, the patterns that we get stuck in.
So I think that's super important as well. Yeah.
I'm curious when you think about you
(27:45):
know, women who might be in that phase where they feel stuck,
they feel that fear of whether it be judgment or
what's next, what if, right? We often get stuck
in the what if cycle. You know, so anyone
who might be considering either a career change, relationship change, whatever
that might be, what advice do you have for them? Like, what is
(28:11):
I think first is the acknowledgement of
how important it is to feel like you belong and
belonging to those communities that may have really supported you
in the past. and realizing you may have outgrown
that there is a mourning that happens. And I think collectively, we've
all been experiencing it after the pandemic. I
(28:32):
don't want to speak for everybody, but at least in my community and
in general, I find that people after the pandemic
have really taken stock, like they've learned how to work in a different
way and realize that it doesn't have to be this
way. If it's not lighting you up, if it's not
fulfilling, if it's under fulfilling and you feel like Is
(28:54):
there some other way that I need to show up
and be fulfilled? And so I think acknowledging that that
tension is an activator. And so kind of recognizing
that tension you feel and understanding that there is
a morning that happens as you walk away from
a job or even consider what that could look like, because
(29:15):
now you're in a position of control and power. And
so I think the power piece of like redefining um,
that this is a powerful position that you get to redesign. You
get to redesign right now and know that it's
not, you know, like you just easily step on off one platform
and onto the other and everything's better. You know, like there's, there's
(29:38):
a lot that goes into it. So I
think as people are considering what does that look like, you have
to give yourself permission to let your mind wander and
write down like what are some wild ideas, what would be super
fun, things that would light you up
and be, you know, like maybe you're being, feel like you're
(30:00):
being called to serve or want to explore something
that you've never explored. For me, I think that the key is
always novelty. That as you introduce something new,
it could be even just taking a different route to
take your kids to school in the morning of just, you
know, like they say, even passion in your relationship. Like
(30:21):
sometimes my husband, my husband and I have been married for uh,
like 12 or 13 years. Um, and sometimes we'll
say, you know, what would be fun? Why don't we have a picnic on our floor? You
know, like we don't have to do anything fancy or spend
a lot of money. We're doing it differently because we want to be
intentional about novelty. And so figuring
(30:42):
out what that could look like again, it starts so small is
just allowing yourself to take a different turn.
to try something, to say yes to something that
you wanna say yes to, to call people
that pop into your head or just text them, hey, I'm thinking about you.
You never know. And just keeping those connections make
(31:06):
a huge difference. And even like all the neuroscience says that
just that novelty part of introducing something new
opens new possibilities, new neural pathways that
you can redesign, You're in power. You
are in power when you do something new. And
it is the easiest, simplest start, simplest
(31:29):
way to start is just by doing something new.
I love that. I had a guest on recently and she
said the advice that she got from a former boss and mentor was start
by starting. Right. And so it's just, you know, figure
out what is that one step. And I think that is something so simple. yet
powerful to your point that we can do to shift our energy from
(31:55):
Yeah, for sure. Allison, last
question for you. We talk a lot about success and redefining success
on this podcast. So I, you know, would love to know from
your perspective, how do you define success?
Yeah, this one is hard because I think I'm hardwired for
(32:16):
money equals success. And, and
being able to, to make a different relationship
with money is an ongoing journey. I
remember my friend had called me and she said, Alison,
if you, you know, are fast forward to 80 years old
(32:37):
and you look back, what do you want your life to look like? And
I remember I was sitting in a parking lot. I was talking to her and
there was like a sunrise, a sunset rather. So
like the, the sky was fully beautiful and I
was newly had left the corporate world, but
I had freedom. I had family. My,
(32:59):
I have an incredible. incredible marriage
and a very happy home, something I'm very, very
precious about, you know? And all I could concern
myself was the money. Like, how, how
do I figure this out? And I remember like,
wait a minute, it's right now. Like I have The
(33:20):
freedom, I have the freedom to experiment. I have the freedom, you
know, to be more present for my kids and
my husband. And I'm looking at
this beautiful sunset and I have a friend who's asking me
this really smart question. So I think it
really is in those small moments when you're present, and you know, you're
(33:41):
okay. And that is part of like, the power of
just honestly, just putting your hands on your chest. I'm not terribly
woo woo. I mean, I think we all secretly are. But
I, you know, like, there's a line, right? Like, I don't have a sorceress in my on
speed dial or anything, you know. But I Like
having just being able to calm your nervous system. Yes.
(34:04):
And be in a position where you are saying, I'm safe.
And I have everything I need. And for right now, I'm
really happy about that. And just, you know, I
think happiness is fleeting. But like finding the presence,
and knowing that you are supported and
loved by the universe and God or whatever it is for you.
(34:27):
I think the more you can access that, and again, it's
not like I don't believe in toxic gratitude
of like, you know, just kind of railroading your feelings and say,
well, I'm so grateful at least I have this. That's not what I mean
Yeah. And I love the advice of the hand over the heart. It's a technique that I
(34:48):
use too. And I think it's, there's something very powerful about it
and reconnecting with your body and some somatic work, um,
can go a long way. So, I mean, we, we could talk
Yes. Yes. So Allison, I want to thank you
so much for being here, for sharing your insights and expertise and,
(35:10):
you know, your story. How can our listeners connect with you?
Oh, thank you for sharing that. Well, the easiest way is Late Learner Podcast.
And it is super fun. If you
wanted to get that energy list,
you can go to alisonhair.com forward slash energy, and
(35:31):
I'll send you a free PDF of it. But alisonhair.com, Alison
underscore, underscore hair on Instagram is
probably where I'm the most active. But thank you so much for this, Gia.
Of course. Thank you, Allison. And of course, you can visit
my website at GiaLacqua.com. Reach out on Instagram at
(35:51):
GiaLacqua. On the homepage of my website or on the bio
link in Instagram, you can download your complimentary copy of From
Chaos to Clarity, a 30-day journal for self-discovery and
healing. This is Gia signing off with gratitude for your time and
energy. Our mic drops, but the movement continues. Until next
time, your next chapter is waiting. Take care. That
(36:11):
concludes another empowering episode of Your Future Starts Now.
Before we wrap up, I want to thank this incredible community of high-achieving women.
Your energy, resilience, and commitment to growth are the driving force
behind what we do. If you enjoyed today's episode, please rate
it, leave a review, and don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Your
feedback fuels our mission to empower high-achieving women just like
(36:33):
you. And of course, share Your Future Starts Now with the extraordinary women
in your life who are also on a journey of healing and empowerment. Connect
with us on social media, share your thoughts, let us know what topics you'd like to
explore in future episodes. Stay connected on Instagram at
Gia Lacqua. I encourage you to carry the energy of this conversation
into your day and keep on supporting the incredible women around you.
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