March 9, 2025 • 31 mins
Life doesn’t always go as planned. Teresa knows this firsthand—after beating cancer once, she was blindsided by a second diagnosis. In this episode, she shares 8 powerful strategies for building resilience when life throws you a curveball. From trusting your instincts and taking action to valuing mental health and embracing the unpredictable, she reveals how to navigate even the toughest moments. Teresa also takes you inside her personal experience with breast cancer—symptoms, diagnosis, surgery, and treatment—while emphasizing the power of self-advocacy and a strong support system. Whether you’re facing a health crisis or another major challenge, this episode will leave you with practical tools to push forward. Tune in and join the conversation—how do you build resilience?
8 Strategies:
1. Trust Your Instincts – Your Gut Knows More Than You Think
2. Advocate for Yourself – No One Will Do It for You'
3. Build Your Support System – You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
4. Progress Isn’t Linear – And That’s Okay
5. Strength Isn’t Just Physical – It’s Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual
6. Your Mental Health Deserves Just as Much Attention as Your Physical Health
7. Control What You Can – Let Go of What You Can’t
8. Resilience Is a Skill – And You’re Stronger Than You Think
Thank you for tuning in! I truly appreciate every single listener—whether you’re here for the first time or have been with me from the start.
Want more? Follow me on TikTok and Instagram @inshockradio for extra content, motivation, and real-life moments!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Welcome to the show.
Whether you're here for thefirst time, or you've been
tuning in for a while, I am soglad you're here.
I truly appreciate you being apart of this conversation today.
I'm sharing eight Go-tostrategies that you'll need when
life completely blindsides you,because at some point it will,
(00:25):
when shit hits the fan, theshock can be.
Overwhelming,.
It can leave you stuck.
Unable to move forward when youreally need strength the most,
but without a game plan, pushingthrough can feel impossible.
Here's the thing, life doesn'twait for you to be ready.
It throws curve ballsunexpectedly, unwanted, and
(00:48):
often devastating.
These moments disrupt our livesin countless ways, from
relationship breakdowns,financial struggles, health
crisis, sudden loss, andeverything in between.
We all crave and wish for aneasy path through these moments,
(01:08):
but the reality is life demandsthat we learn to navigate the
unexpected.
And when it hits hard, itdoesn't just shake us.
It's a shockwave of emotions,numbness, deep sadness, anxiety,
and sometimes even anger.
But here's the truth, gettingthrough it isn't about being
(01:31):
invincible.
Or ignoring it.
It's about recognizing you havevulnerabilities and still find
the strength to move forward.
It can be tough becauseresilience isn't often one size
fits all.
We all process these moments inour own way.
(01:52):
What rattles one person mightbarely phase another.
I know this firsthand through myown personal experiences.
With, guess what?
My second cancer diagnosis achallenge that in many ways hit
much harder than the firstdiagnosis.
The shock of being told you havecancer does not get any easier.
(02:17):
I kept going because I refusedto let this break me.
I learned quickly that it allcomes down to our mindset.
Every morning I had a choice togive in or to push through, and
no matter how hard it got, andit got real hard, I chose to
keep fighting.
(02:39):
Often our bodies send us signalswhen something's wrong with it,
and sometimes that signal maynot even be related to what's
happening with your body in thatmoment.
I have certainly experiencedthat, but in this case, it was a
little bit obvious because I hada lump that I discovered in my
breast, which was a warning signI initially ignored.
(03:04):
I was too busy.
And I hadn't gone in for what Icall my annual peak under the
hood at the Stirrup Spa in aboutthree years.
At that time, those visits weresupposed to be annually, not
every five years like they arenow.
So putting it off for threeyears was a big mistake.
(03:24):
But I remember finding this lumpand it was so hard.
You know how hard the road is ora sidewalk.
It was as solid as that, like arock.
I would have my friends feel itto make sure I wasn't imagining
what I was feeling, and all ofus were like, what the fuck is
(03:44):
this?
At first I thought maybe I wasgoing through menopause.
My left breast was significantlylarger, more tender than the
right one, but.
I felt like my gut was tellingme something was wrong I walked
into my appointment and couldn'thave been happier to see my
(04:05):
doctor.
He had delivered two of my threeboys.
He was always kind, personable,and had that signature warm
smile.
The kind of person that wouldtake all the time in the world
to sit and talk to you aboutwhat was going on.
He said, where have you beenthese past three years?
(04:26):
I laughed and said I was alittle bit busy.
Then I got to the real reasonwhy I was there.
He started the breast exam, butthen his smile quickly faded.
The warmth in his expression wasreplaced with something a lot
more serious.
My stomach dropped.
I said, is this something weshould be concerned about?
(04:49):
He looked at me and said, yes itis, and that's when the real
rollercoaster began.
He told me Radiology isdownstairs.
They take walk-ins and Ithought, perfect.
This is gonna be so easy.
I got there one minute too late.
They were closing and not takingany more patients seriously.
(05:12):
They told me another radiologydepartment was about 10 minutes
away and that they might be ableto take me.
So I raced over there only to betold that they couldn't take me
without, I guess it would belike a prescription note from my
doctor.
At this point I was getting alittle bit impatient and losing
my shit.
Because by then the doctor'soffice was closed the next
(05:34):
morning I went to the radiologydepartment closer to my house,
and I figured it was a walk-in,so I.
This'll be easy.
Nope.
They didn't take walk-ins andclaimed they hadn't received
anything from my doctor.
I finally got ahold of mydoctor.
The paperwork was submitted, andI had to wait another day before
(05:55):
I could get in I finally got infor that mammogram and it was
painful because of the swellingI had in my left breasts.
they squeeze your tits so hardI.
They wanna flatten it out like apancake.
It was extremely uncomfortable.
They finished the mammogram andasked me to hang out for a
(06:17):
second, and when they came backin the room they said we're
going to do an ultrasound.
Okay, that's fine.
After the ultrasound.
Tech finished the scan.
She walked outta the room, cameback with a radiologist.
These are the doctors whoactually read your images.
She looked at me and she said,we're gonna ask you to take a
(06:39):
break.
I'm like, take a break fromwhat?
She said, go grab some lunchbecause we're going to do a
biopsy.
And maybe you should have aglass of wine while you're at
lunch.
I thought, are you serious?
That caused me to freak out Iknew something serious was going
(07:00):
on.
Fortunately I had a friend withme.
So she and I hopped in the carand headed off to one of our
favorite restaurants, the entiretime we were talking about, holy
shit, I may have breast cancer.
I've never been to anappointment that has turned into
three separate tests.
We sat at the bar.
(07:20):
When we got to the restaurant,we were chit-chatting with the
bartender, telling her.
Everything that was happening,all of our speculation.
She was trying to calm us down,and she poured me two glasses of
wine, which I had no problemdrinking.
We got back to the hospital andI was feeling much more relaxed.
(07:42):
They first inserted a markerwhere the tumor was.
This was gonna help guide themthrough the biopsy.
They prepped me for the biopsy.
I was wide awake I watched theentire procedure on a large TV
screen.
They inserted an extremely longneedle into my breast that sunk
(08:03):
into the tumor where they took alittle bite of it so that they
could test it.
When the biopsy was finished, Iasked when I would get the
results and they said it wouldbe a couple of days.
Oh shit.
More waiting.
The waiting was reallyagonizing.
Every hour felt like aneternity.
(08:23):
I couldn't even sleep thatnight.
The next morning I received acall at about seven 30.
You have breast cancer.
I.
My world stopped.
My mom had breast cancer, mygrandmother had breast cancer.
I convinced myself, that's why Ihave it.
I did have a load of genetictests run to determine if my
(08:47):
breast cancer was genetic.
I.
All those tests came backnegative.
I guess we're just reallysusceptible of getting breast
cancer.
The next few weeks were really ablur of appointments.
Was literally one appointmentafter the next.
Lots of tests seeing.
Different doctors having to makedecisions on what my options
(09:09):
were, and I finally decided Iwas going to have a double
mastectomy.
For those of you who don't knowwhat a mastectomy is, let's just
say I asked them to blow my titsoff my chest and replace them
with boltons, which most peoplecall implants.
I made that decision because ithad a higher success rate of no
(09:31):
recurrence.
While it might seem drastic, mymother got a recurrence, it was
in her ovaries, and I thought,if this lowers my chance I'm
gonna get them blown off.
The surgery was intense.
They removed my breast, took outfour lymph nodes and inserted
(09:54):
tissue expanders.
They first tested the lymphnodes to see if the cancer had
spread.
They inserted the tissueexpanders, which helped stretch
out the skin after they removeyour breasts to make room for
the implants.
I woke up in my hospital room.
With four grenades.
(10:16):
They are the drains that arehooked into your chest for
everything to drain into, andthey were strapped to my
stomach.
I was so scared because Icouldn't breathe right when I
opened my eyes, the weight ofall the drugs that they had
pumped into my chest to numb itfor the seven hour surgery felt
(10:36):
like a.
Cinder block sitting on mychest.
Recovery was tough.
Breathing was very difficult,like I was suffocating, and the
drains were a constant reminderof what I had just been through.
I couldn't see my chest becauseit was covered in bandages, but
(10:58):
you know what?
I was alive.
So up next were the pathologyreports.
When you're first diagnosed withcancer, everyone wants to know
what stage cancer you have?
I wanted to know, but in mostcases, they can't determine the
stage until a series of testshave been performed.
(11:20):
And lots of times it's not untilafter a surgical procedure.
In my case, it was.
We need to see your lymph nodesbefore we can stage your cancer
because if they are in the lymphnodes, that means the cancer has
spread.
They tested both the tumor andthe lymph nodes.
Luckily, it hadn't spread intomy lymph nodes, but the tumor
(11:43):
was much larger than theyexpected.
The pathology report had given adefinitive answer to what stage
cancer I had.
It was stage three fuckingterrifying.
Then came the waiting, theagonizing suspense of finding
out whether or not I was gonnaneed chemo, radiation, or both.
(12:06):
Everyone's treatment plan.
Is unique based on their medicalteam's assessment of what's
gonna be the most effective.
Some people undergo radiation orchemotherapy before their
surgery, while others may findout after treatment, that
surgery is no longer necessary.
In my case, because of the sizeof the tumor, surgery was never
(12:29):
off the table.
It was a definite part of mytreatment plan from the very
beginning.
And each tumor is different aswell.
There's advancements in testingnow that allow doctors to tailor
treatments much more precisely.
In my case, my tumor qualifiedfor a new test that predict how
(12:52):
it would respond tochemotherapy.
Kind of cool, right?
Unfortunately, the resultsshowed that my tumor didn't
respond to chemo.
My doctor said it was optional.
After watching my mom go throughchemo, I knew one thing for
sure.
I was not signing up for thatshit if it wasn't gonna make a
difference.
(13:13):
So I told my doctor, I don'twant to have chemotherapy.
I asked if I was gonna needradiation, and he said no.
I actually thought I was off thehook.
I'm like, damn, I have stagethree cancer and I don't have to
have any of this treatment.
The treatment plan for me wastaking a pill called Tamoxifen
(13:34):
blocks, estrogen receptors andbreast cancer cells, preventing
them from growing and spreading.
It's used specifically forpositive estrogen and
progesterone breast cancers,which is what I had.
I had looked into all the sideeffects of this drug, sat with
my doctor and reviewed them, andhere's just a few of them,
(13:59):
strokes, uterine cancer, and Ithought.
The last thing I wanna do isstart a cancer treatment to get
cancer again.
I was frightened to death,eventually my doctor convinced
me that removing my breast wasnot gonna be enough given my
stage.
I started taking the tamoxifenand about three weeks in, I had
(14:23):
signs of early liver failure.
The doctor asked me to go offthe Tamoxifen.
They felt that since I wasrecovering from this major
surgery, it might be why my bodywas reacting to the drug the way
it was, and they wanted me tohold off until after I fully
recovered from my breastreconstruction.
(14:46):
That's what I did.
And it wasn't too long after wemade that decision that I had my
first post-op appointment.
Since I had my breasts removed,they removed two of the four
drains, which was a smallvictory'cause it felt so good to
get the tubes out my chest wall,but the emotional toll of facing
(15:07):
what my new body was gonna looklike.
Without breasts for a littlewhile was stressing me out.
My plastic surgeon gave me onepiece of solid advice.
She said, when you change yourbandages, I.
I want you to look in the mirrorand take a good look at
yourself.
(15:28):
Don't ignore it because it willonly make things harder for you.
Seeing myself without breastsfor the first time was brutal.
Imagine that I.
That moment hit so hard for me.
My cousin was with me.
We stood in front of a mirror.
It was time to change thebandages, which she helped me
(15:50):
with, and as soon as thosebandages came off, I completely
fell apart.
I was a basket case, and thiswas just the beginning of a very
long road to reconstruction.
During the seven hour surgery,they had placed tissue expanders
into my chest, which Imentioned.
They're essentially deflatedairbags underneath my skin.
(16:14):
This was the first step inrebuilding my breasts.
The expanders are designed togradually stretch the skin to
make room for the implants Iremember during that first.
Appointment.
I was so fascinated by theprocess of.
The expander getting filled.
(16:34):
We started calling it thefilling station.
They would insert that needleinto the tissue expander to pump
in the saline, and that's whathelps stretch the skin.
I gotta watch my chest slowlytake shape again.
As the weeks passed, the fillsbecame a lot more intense, the
skin.
(16:55):
Was stretching and the painbecame a bit unbearable because
every time they added moresaline, my skin stretched even
more and got really taut.
This took place over a period of14 weeks.
By week 14, I was in bed forthree days After the last
(17:17):
filling, I was completelywrecked physically and
emotionally.
Some days I could push through,and other days it was complete
trauma, and that's what it feltlike.
After this last fill, the entireprocess of diagnosis to nipple
(17:38):
reconstruction and 3D tattoostook.
About a year.
My nipples couldn't be preservedbecause the tumor was too close
to my skin, so they had toremove them.
I chose to have nipplereconstruction, as they were
stretching out the skin beforethey did the.
(18:00):
Implant exchange.
They used some of that extraskin to create the nipples, and
after that healed, I had 3Dtattoos to create an ola.
I have to tell you, they lookreally natural.
I was quite surprised.
There's a lot of people who getthese OLA tattoos.
(18:23):
The artist had me bring in apicture of my breasts before I
had the surgery.
And yes, I did take a picturebefore surgery because I knew I
was getting them blown off and Iwanted a photo of mine just to
preserve my.
Original breasts anyway, threesurgeries later, countless highs
(18:46):
and lows.
I really had no idea how longthis whole process was gonna
take.
Doctors don't come forward andsay this entire.
Process is gonna take close to ayear.
And in some ways I think thatwas okay because I was able to
keep relatively positive.
I had these appointments, I.
(19:09):
That's really what kept my mindfocused is, okay, we've got
another appointment at thefilling station.
On this state, we're getting theimplants put in on this state.
We're getting, nipplereconstruction, et cetera.
But as I've talked about before,having my friends around made a
(19:29):
huge difference.
When you're surrounded by familyand friends over that period of
time and people are trying tolift you up and make you laugh,
how can you not keep a positiveattitude?
We all need that humaninteraction, no matter what life
throws you, you have to believethat you're going to get through
(19:49):
what.
Ever it is.
I believed I was doing all theright things to battle this out
and that I would make it to theother side.
I had three boys counting on me,and that was part of the fight
as well.
There were some really toughdays.
I did feel depressed.
I had days where I cried, butnonetheless, there were also
(20:13):
days where I was laughing on thecouch with friends, believing
you will overcome the turbulenceis really what saves you when
you're going through this heavyshit.
Truly, if you convince yourselfyou're defeated.
The universe listens and itmeets you there.
But if you hold on to hope, ifyou stay as optimistic as
(20:35):
possible, even in those toughmoments, and you give yourself
permission to break down, youcan create space for more joy.
I am a huge believer in the lawof attraction and the power of
manifesting.
No matter what challenges comeyour way, keep your energy
(20:56):
focused on getting through.
Whatever it is, we're allcapable of facing life's
toughest moments.
I have been thrown more curveballs than I can count.
Here are just a few.
Five years after beating lipcancer.
I was diagnosed with breastcancer, the story I just shared,
(21:18):
and five years after that breastcancer again, and I had already
blown my tits off.
Remember what the fuck?
It did not prevent a recurrence.
Then came three months ofradiation six times a week.
To treat the second breastcancer that had spread all over
my chest wall.
(21:38):
It came back with a vengeanceand just months after that
breast cancer diagnosis, theydiscovered I had melanoma.
The shit just kept coming, andin between all of that, I had
two brain aneurysms and hadbrain surgery.
Brain aneurysms are like a bombwaiting to explode in your head,
(22:04):
and mixed in with all of that.
I had a couple of strokespeople, the house was on fire.
I survived all of that, whichclearly I did because I'm here
talking to you and we know onething for sure.
Resilience is something that youbuild.
(22:24):
The more shit you go through,the more resilient you are.
That doesn't mean that whensomething shocking comes your
way, it's gonna be a walk in thepark.
It won't be, it will be hard.
It will test you.
That's when you have to dig deepand be resilient.
Life is not a bowl of cherriesthe longer that you live.
(22:46):
More stuff is gonna happen, andif we all get comfortable with
that, it helps make these blowsjust a teeny bit less impactful,
just a teeny bit less.
But listen, every challengestrengthened my resilience.
It pushed my perseverance to thelimit, and it forced me to keep.
(23:10):
Moving forward.
You know when you're out on arun or maybe you're at the gym
and you just feel like you don'thave anything left but there's
this other side of you that'sfive more reps, or, if I could
just run to that stop sign, I'lltake a break.
That's what this is about.
You have to push through evenwhen you wanna curl up in a
(23:34):
ball.
I'm here to share these eightstrategies it's not just what we
go through that defines us, it'show we face it.
Don't we all wanna be recognizedfor those moments when we give
our best?
Yes we do.
We want that pat on the back.
We want someone to verbally tellus that we did an outstanding
(23:56):
job, but what is more rewardingthan proving to yourself that
you can overcome a trulydifficult, shitty situation?
You can give yourself a pat onthe back and say, I fucking did
it.
So let's get into the eightstrategies that will help guide
(24:18):
you through these tough moments.
Number one, trust yourinstincts.
Your gut knows more than youthink.
Whether it's a health situation,a relationship, a major life
decision.
Listen to that inner voice.
I ignored that warning signonce, and it could have cost me
(24:39):
my life.
Imagine if I blew that doctor'sappointment off, if something
feels off, don't brush it aside.
Number two, take action.
Do something about it.
Advocate for yourself.
No one is going to save you.
No one is going to do it foryou.
(25:01):
I'm telling you in life, you areyour own representative of
advocacy, you will faceroadblocks.
People will doubt you.
Systems will slow you down,speak up, push back, and fight
for what you need.
I've only shared a snapshot ofwhat I experienced through this.
(25:22):
Breast cancer journey.
I wouldn't have gotten on thesurgical schedule if I hadn't
advocated for myself.
I've got a book in the making.
The details will be in there,but let's stay on track.
Number three, build your supportsystem.
You don't have to do anythingalone.
(25:43):
I don't care what that toughthing is.
Ask for help.
Life isn't meant to be tackledsolo.
Don't be tough or stubborn.
God knows I was once upon atime.
Find your people, the ones wholift you up, whether it's
family, friends, mentors, atherapist, or even an online
community.
(26:05):
When the hard days hit, lean in.
Number four, progress isn'tlinear, and that's okay.
Healing success, personalgrowth, it's never a straight
line.
Some days you will feelabsolutely unstoppable and that
you can conquer anything.
(26:26):
Other days you're gonna feellike you're back at square one
and that you just can't do itanymore.
Give yourself some grace.
Keep moving forward, even ifit's one teeny tiny step at a
time.
Number five, strength isn't justphysical.
(26:47):
It is mental, emotional, andspiritual.
For years, I tied my identity tophysical strength, but real
strength isn't just aboutmuscles.
It's about perseverance.
Grit and getting back up whenlife knocks you down.
That's an incredible reward foryourself.
(27:09):
Number six, your mental healthdeserves just as much attention
as your physical being.
Stress, anxiety, burnout,whatever it is, will impact your
mind in the way that you'redealing with anything.
They take a toll on you and onyour body, go to therapy, start
(27:30):
journaling.
I journaled for years.
During my breast cancerdiagnosis, I was blogging on a
regular basis.
It was so cleansing.
Meditation is another one.
It took me a long time to reallyfigure out what that is.
You don't have to be in a yogaclass to meditate.
(27:55):
You've gotta figure out whatworks for you.
And while it might sound alittle weird, I've got a mat in
my office, a yoga mat, when Istart to feel stress or an
anxiety, or maybe I'm just burntout and I can't do it anymore,
and it's the middle of the day.
I listen to this calm meditationmusic.
(28:18):
It's this woman that I found onSpotify.
I dunno if I'm pronouncing hername right.
Chara.
Seba.
She calms everything in me, so Ilay on my mat.
I close my eyes.
I take a lot of deep breaths.
I'm not even sure how long I doit for, but I wait until I feel
(28:42):
like my heart has stopped racingor that I've reenergized myself.
It's usually not more than fiveminutes.
My mind has reset and I can jumpback into whatever it was that I
was doing before.
So whatever helps you process,make it a priority you would be
(29:03):
shocked how much meditation canimpact you, and you can do it
anywhere.
Number seven, control what youcan, and more importantly, let
go of what you can't.
So much in life is out of ourcontrol.
Others, pe, other people'sactions, unexpected setbacks,
(29:23):
the timing of things, the waypeople respond or they don't
respond, that's outta yourcontrol.
Focus on small wins, celebratethe progress, and stop carrying
the guilt over things that youjust can't change.
And finally, number eight,resilience is a skill every
(29:44):
challenge helps us build moreresilience.
It's like a muscle.
It gets better, you will lookback someday and you are going
to say to yourself, holy shit, Imade it through something that I
thought was impossible.
That's how I got through thebreast cancer diagnosis was an
(30:07):
entire year long battle.
That's a long time.
When you think of the dailythings that occur when you are
fighting cancer, be good toyourself.
And for those of you who've beenthrough some heavy shit lately,
I would love to hear from you.
DM me on Instagram at In ShockRadio, or leave a comment on
(30:30):
this podcast.
Let me know how you're feeling.
Let's continue this conversationtogether.
Until next time.
Welcome to the show.
Whether you're here for thefirst time, or you've been
tuning in for a while, I am soglad you're here.
I truly appreciate you being apart of this conversation today.
I'm sharing eight Go-tostrategies that you'll need when
life completely blindsides you,because at some point it will,
(00:25):
when shit hits the fan, theshock can be.
Overwhelming,.
It can leave you stuck.
Unable to move forward when youreally need strength the most,
but without a game plan, pushingthrough can feel impossible.
Here's the thing, life doesn'twait for you to be ready.
It throws curve ballsunexpectedly, unwanted, and
(00:48):
often devastating.
These moments disrupt our livesin countless ways, from
relationship breakdowns,financial struggles, health
crisis, sudden loss, andeverything in between.
We all crave and wish for aneasy path through these moments,
(01:08):
but the reality is life demandsthat we learn to navigate the
unexpected.
And when it hits hard, itdoesn't just shake us.
It's a shockwave of emotions,numbness, deep sadness, anxiety,
and sometimes even anger.
But here's the truth, gettingthrough it isn't about being
(01:31):
invincible.
Or ignoring it.
It's about recognizing you havevulnerabilities and still find
the strength to move forward.
It can be tough becauseresilience isn't often one size
fits all.
We all process these moments inour own way.
(01:52):
What rattles one person mightbarely phase another.
I know this firsthand through myown personal experiences.
With, guess what?
My second cancer diagnosis achallenge that in many ways hit
much harder than the firstdiagnosis.
The shock of being told you havecancer does not get any easier.
(02:17):
I kept going because I refusedto let this break me.
I learned quickly that it allcomes down to our mindset.
Every morning I had a choice togive in or to push through, and
no matter how hard it got, andit got real hard, I chose to
keep fighting.
(02:39):
Often our bodies send us signalswhen something's wrong with it,
and sometimes that signal maynot even be related to what's
happening with your body in thatmoment.
I have certainly experiencedthat, but in this case, it was a
little bit obvious because I hada lump that I discovered in my
breast, which was a warning signI initially ignored.
(03:04):
I was too busy.
And I hadn't gone in for what Icall my annual peak under the
hood at the Stirrup Spa in aboutthree years.
At that time, those visits weresupposed to be annually, not
every five years like they arenow.
So putting it off for threeyears was a big mistake.
(03:24):
But I remember finding this lumpand it was so hard.
You know how hard the road is ora sidewalk.
It was as solid as that, like arock.
I would have my friends feel itto make sure I wasn't imagining
what I was feeling, and all ofus were like, what the fuck is
(03:44):
this?
At first I thought maybe I wasgoing through menopause.
My left breast was significantlylarger, more tender than the
right one, but.
I felt like my gut was tellingme something was wrong I walked
into my appointment and couldn'thave been happier to see my
(04:05):
doctor.
He had delivered two of my threeboys.
He was always kind, personable,and had that signature warm
smile.
The kind of person that wouldtake all the time in the world
to sit and talk to you aboutwhat was going on.
He said, where have you beenthese past three years?
(04:26):
I laughed and said I was alittle bit busy.
Then I got to the real reasonwhy I was there.
He started the breast exam, butthen his smile quickly faded.
The warmth in his expression wasreplaced with something a lot
more serious.
My stomach dropped.
I said, is this something weshould be concerned about?
(04:49):
He looked at me and said, yes itis, and that's when the real
rollercoaster began.
He told me Radiology isdownstairs.
They take walk-ins and Ithought, perfect.
This is gonna be so easy.
I got there one minute too late.
They were closing and not takingany more patients seriously.
(05:12):
They told me another radiologydepartment was about 10 minutes
away and that they might be ableto take me.
So I raced over there only to betold that they couldn't take me
without, I guess it would belike a prescription note from my
doctor.
At this point I was getting alittle bit impatient and losing
my shit.
Because by then the doctor'soffice was closed the next
(05:34):
morning I went to the radiologydepartment closer to my house,
and I figured it was a walk-in,so I.
This'll be easy.
Nope.
They didn't take walk-ins andclaimed they hadn't received
anything from my doctor.
I finally got ahold of mydoctor.
The paperwork was submitted, andI had to wait another day before
(05:55):
I could get in I finally got infor that mammogram and it was
painful because of the swellingI had in my left breasts.
they squeeze your tits so hardI.
They wanna flatten it out like apancake.
It was extremely uncomfortable.
They finished the mammogram andasked me to hang out for a
(06:17):
second, and when they came backin the room they said we're
going to do an ultrasound.
Okay, that's fine.
After the ultrasound.
Tech finished the scan.
She walked outta the room, cameback with a radiologist.
These are the doctors whoactually read your images.
She looked at me and she said,we're gonna ask you to take a
(06:39):
break.
I'm like, take a break fromwhat?
She said, go grab some lunchbecause we're going to do a
biopsy.
And maybe you should have aglass of wine while you're at
lunch.
I thought, are you serious?
That caused me to freak out Iknew something serious was going
(07:00):
on.
Fortunately I had a friend withme.
So she and I hopped in the carand headed off to one of our
favorite restaurants, the entiretime we were talking about, holy
shit, I may have breast cancer.
I've never been to anappointment that has turned into
three separate tests.
We sat at the bar.
(07:20):
When we got to the restaurant,we were chit-chatting with the
bartender, telling her.
Everything that was happening,all of our speculation.
She was trying to calm us down,and she poured me two glasses of
wine, which I had no problemdrinking.
We got back to the hospital andI was feeling much more relaxed.
(07:42):
They first inserted a markerwhere the tumor was.
This was gonna help guide themthrough the biopsy.
They prepped me for the biopsy.
I was wide awake I watched theentire procedure on a large TV
screen.
They inserted an extremely longneedle into my breast that sunk
(08:03):
into the tumor where they took alittle bite of it so that they
could test it.
When the biopsy was finished, Iasked when I would get the
results and they said it wouldbe a couple of days.
Oh shit.
More waiting.
The waiting was reallyagonizing.
Every hour felt like aneternity.
(08:23):
I couldn't even sleep thatnight.
The next morning I received acall at about seven 30.
You have breast cancer.
I.
My world stopped.
My mom had breast cancer, mygrandmother had breast cancer.
I convinced myself, that's why Ihave it.
I did have a load of genetictests run to determine if my
(08:47):
breast cancer was genetic.
I.
All those tests came backnegative.
I guess we're just reallysusceptible of getting breast
cancer.
The next few weeks were really ablur of appointments.
Was literally one appointmentafter the next.
Lots of tests seeing.
Different doctors having to makedecisions on what my options
(09:09):
were, and I finally decided Iwas going to have a double
mastectomy.
For those of you who don't knowwhat a mastectomy is, let's just
say I asked them to blow my titsoff my chest and replace them
with boltons, which most peoplecall implants.
I made that decision because ithad a higher success rate of no
(09:31):
recurrence.
While it might seem drastic, mymother got a recurrence, it was
in her ovaries, and I thought,if this lowers my chance I'm
gonna get them blown off.
The surgery was intense.
They removed my breast, took outfour lymph nodes and inserted
(09:54):
tissue expanders.
They first tested the lymphnodes to see if the cancer had
spread.
They inserted the tissueexpanders, which helped stretch
out the skin after they removeyour breasts to make room for
the implants.
I woke up in my hospital room.
With four grenades.
(10:16):
They are the drains that arehooked into your chest for
everything to drain into, andthey were strapped to my
stomach.
I was so scared because Icouldn't breathe right when I
opened my eyes, the weight ofall the drugs that they had
pumped into my chest to numb itfor the seven hour surgery felt
(10:36):
like a.
Cinder block sitting on mychest.
Recovery was tough.
Breathing was very difficult,like I was suffocating, and the
drains were a constant reminderof what I had just been through.
I couldn't see my chest becauseit was covered in bandages, but
(10:58):
you know what?
I was alive.
So up next were the pathologyreports.
When you're first diagnosed withcancer, everyone wants to know
what stage cancer you have?
I wanted to know, but in mostcases, they can't determine the
stage until a series of testshave been performed.
(11:20):
And lots of times it's not untilafter a surgical procedure.
In my case, it was.
We need to see your lymph nodesbefore we can stage your cancer
because if they are in the lymphnodes, that means the cancer has
spread.
They tested both the tumor andthe lymph nodes.
Luckily, it hadn't spread intomy lymph nodes, but the tumor
(11:43):
was much larger than theyexpected.
The pathology report had given adefinitive answer to what stage
cancer I had.
It was stage three fuckingterrifying.
Then came the waiting, theagonizing suspense of finding
out whether or not I was gonnaneed chemo, radiation, or both.
(12:06):
Everyone's treatment plan.
Is unique based on their medicalteam's assessment of what's
gonna be the most effective.
Some people undergo radiation orchemotherapy before their
surgery, while others may findout after treatment, that
surgery is no longer necessary.
In my case, because of the sizeof the tumor, surgery was never
(12:29):
off the table.
It was a definite part of mytreatment plan from the very
beginning.
And each tumor is different aswell.
There's advancements in testingnow that allow doctors to tailor
treatments much more precisely.
In my case, my tumor qualifiedfor a new test that predict how
(12:52):
it would respond tochemotherapy.
Kind of cool, right?
Unfortunately, the resultsshowed that my tumor didn't
respond to chemo.
My doctor said it was optional.
After watching my mom go throughchemo, I knew one thing for
sure.
I was not signing up for thatshit if it wasn't gonna make a
difference.
(13:13):
So I told my doctor, I don'twant to have chemotherapy.
I asked if I was gonna needradiation, and he said no.
I actually thought I was off thehook.
I'm like, damn, I have stagethree cancer and I don't have to
have any of this treatment.
The treatment plan for me wastaking a pill called Tamoxifen
(13:34):
blocks, estrogen receptors andbreast cancer cells, preventing
them from growing and spreading.
It's used specifically forpositive estrogen and
progesterone breast cancers,which is what I had.
I had looked into all the sideeffects of this drug, sat with
my doctor and reviewed them, andhere's just a few of them,
(13:59):
strokes, uterine cancer, and Ithought.
The last thing I wanna do isstart a cancer treatment to get
cancer again.
I was frightened to death,eventually my doctor convinced
me that removing my breast wasnot gonna be enough given my
stage.
I started taking the tamoxifenand about three weeks in, I had
(14:23):
signs of early liver failure.
The doctor asked me to go offthe Tamoxifen.
They felt that since I wasrecovering from this major
surgery, it might be why my bodywas reacting to the drug the way
it was, and they wanted me tohold off until after I fully
recovered from my breastreconstruction.
(14:46):
That's what I did.
And it wasn't too long after wemade that decision that I had my
first post-op appointment.
Since I had my breasts removed,they removed two of the four
drains, which was a smallvictory'cause it felt so good to
get the tubes out my chest wall,but the emotional toll of facing
(15:07):
what my new body was gonna looklike.
Without breasts for a littlewhile was stressing me out.
My plastic surgeon gave me onepiece of solid advice.
She said, when you change yourbandages, I.
I want you to look in the mirrorand take a good look at
yourself.
(15:28):
Don't ignore it because it willonly make things harder for you.
Seeing myself without breastsfor the first time was brutal.
Imagine that I.
That moment hit so hard for me.
My cousin was with me.
We stood in front of a mirror.
It was time to change thebandages, which she helped me
(15:50):
with, and as soon as thosebandages came off, I completely
fell apart.
I was a basket case, and thiswas just the beginning of a very
long road to reconstruction.
During the seven hour surgery,they had placed tissue expanders
into my chest, which Imentioned.
They're essentially deflatedairbags underneath my skin.
(16:14):
This was the first step inrebuilding my breasts.
The expanders are designed togradually stretch the skin to
make room for the implants Iremember during that first.
Appointment.
I was so fascinated by theprocess of.
The expander getting filled.
(16:34):
We started calling it thefilling station.
They would insert that needleinto the tissue expander to pump
in the saline, and that's whathelps stretch the skin.
I gotta watch my chest slowlytake shape again.
As the weeks passed, the fillsbecame a lot more intense, the
skin.
(16:55):
Was stretching and the painbecame a bit unbearable because
every time they added moresaline, my skin stretched even
more and got really taut.
This took place over a period of14 weeks.
By week 14, I was in bed forthree days After the last
(17:17):
filling, I was completelywrecked physically and
emotionally.
Some days I could push through,and other days it was complete
trauma, and that's what it feltlike.
After this last fill, the entireprocess of diagnosis to nipple
(17:38):
reconstruction and 3D tattoostook.
About a year.
My nipples couldn't be preservedbecause the tumor was too close
to my skin, so they had toremove them.
I chose to have nipplereconstruction, as they were
stretching out the skin beforethey did the.
(18:00):
Implant exchange.
They used some of that extraskin to create the nipples, and
after that healed, I had 3Dtattoos to create an ola.
I have to tell you, they lookreally natural.
I was quite surprised.
There's a lot of people who getthese OLA tattoos.
(18:23):
The artist had me bring in apicture of my breasts before I
had the surgery.
And yes, I did take a picturebefore surgery because I knew I
was getting them blown off and Iwanted a photo of mine just to
preserve my.
Original breasts anyway, threesurgeries later, countless highs
(18:46):
and lows.
I really had no idea how longthis whole process was gonna
take.
Doctors don't come forward andsay this entire.
Process is gonna take close to ayear.
And in some ways I think thatwas okay because I was able to
keep relatively positive.
I had these appointments, I.
(19:09):
That's really what kept my mindfocused is, okay, we've got
another appointment at thefilling station.
On this state, we're getting theimplants put in on this state.
We're getting, nipplereconstruction, et cetera.
But as I've talked about before,having my friends around made a
(19:29):
huge difference.
When you're surrounded by familyand friends over that period of
time and people are trying tolift you up and make you laugh,
how can you not keep a positiveattitude?
We all need that humaninteraction, no matter what life
throws you, you have to believethat you're going to get through
(19:49):
what.
Ever it is.
I believed I was doing all theright things to battle this out
and that I would make it to theother side.
I had three boys counting on me,and that was part of the fight
as well.
There were some really toughdays.
I did feel depressed.
I had days where I cried, butnonetheless, there were also
(20:13):
days where I was laughing on thecouch with friends, believing
you will overcome the turbulenceis really what saves you when
you're going through this heavyshit.
Truly, if you convince yourselfyou're defeated.
The universe listens and itmeets you there.
But if you hold on to hope, ifyou stay as optimistic as
(20:35):
possible, even in those toughmoments, and you give yourself
permission to break down, youcan create space for more joy.
I am a huge believer in the lawof attraction and the power of
manifesting.
No matter what challenges comeyour way, keep your energy
(20:56):
focused on getting through.
Whatever it is, we're allcapable of facing life's
toughest moments.
I have been thrown more curveballs than I can count.
Here are just a few.
Five years after beating lipcancer.
I was diagnosed with breastcancer, the story I just shared,
(21:18):
and five years after that breastcancer again, and I had already
blown my tits off.
Remember what the fuck?
It did not prevent a recurrence.
Then came three months ofradiation six times a week.
To treat the second breastcancer that had spread all over
my chest wall.
(21:38):
It came back with a vengeanceand just months after that
breast cancer diagnosis, theydiscovered I had melanoma.
The shit just kept coming, andin between all of that, I had
two brain aneurysms and hadbrain surgery.
Brain aneurysms are like a bombwaiting to explode in your head,
(22:04):
and mixed in with all of that.
I had a couple of strokespeople, the house was on fire.
I survived all of that, whichclearly I did because I'm here
talking to you and we know onething for sure.
Resilience is something that youbuild.
(22:24):
The more shit you go through,the more resilient you are.
That doesn't mean that whensomething shocking comes your
way, it's gonna be a walk in thepark.
It won't be, it will be hard.
It will test you.
That's when you have to dig deepand be resilient.
Life is not a bowl of cherriesthe longer that you live.
(22:46):
More stuff is gonna happen, andif we all get comfortable with
that, it helps make these blowsjust a teeny bit less impactful,
just a teeny bit less.
But listen, every challengestrengthened my resilience.
It pushed my perseverance to thelimit, and it forced me to keep.
(23:10):
Moving forward.
You know when you're out on arun or maybe you're at the gym
and you just feel like you don'thave anything left but there's
this other side of you that'sfive more reps, or, if I could
just run to that stop sign, I'lltake a break.
That's what this is about.
You have to push through evenwhen you wanna curl up in a
(23:34):
ball.
I'm here to share these eightstrategies it's not just what we
go through that defines us, it'show we face it.
Don't we all wanna be recognizedfor those moments when we give
our best?
Yes we do.
We want that pat on the back.
We want someone to verbally tellus that we did an outstanding
(23:56):
job, but what is more rewardingthan proving to yourself that
you can overcome a trulydifficult, shitty situation?
You can give yourself a pat onthe back and say, I fucking did
it.
So let's get into the eightstrategies that will help guide
(24:18):
you through these tough moments.
Number one, trust yourinstincts.
Your gut knows more than youthink.
Whether it's a health situation,a relationship, a major life
decision.
Listen to that inner voice.
I ignored that warning signonce, and it could have cost me
(24:39):
my life.
Imagine if I blew that doctor'sappointment off, if something
feels off, don't brush it aside.
Number two, take action.
Do something about it.
Advocate for yourself.
No one is going to save you.
No one is going to do it foryou.
(25:01):
I'm telling you in life, you areyour own representative of
advocacy, you will faceroadblocks.
People will doubt you.
Systems will slow you down,speak up, push back, and fight
for what you need.
I've only shared a snapshot ofwhat I experienced through this.
(25:22):
Breast cancer journey.
I wouldn't have gotten on thesurgical schedule if I hadn't
advocated for myself.
I've got a book in the making.
The details will be in there,but let's stay on track.
Number three, build your supportsystem.
You don't have to do anythingalone.
(25:43):
I don't care what that toughthing is.
Ask for help.
Life isn't meant to be tackledsolo.
Don't be tough or stubborn.
God knows I was once upon atime.
Find your people, the ones wholift you up, whether it's
family, friends, mentors, atherapist, or even an online
community.
(26:05):
When the hard days hit, lean in.
Number four, progress isn'tlinear, and that's okay.
Healing success, personalgrowth, it's never a straight
line.
Some days you will feelabsolutely unstoppable and that
you can conquer anything.
(26:26):
Other days you're gonna feellike you're back at square one
and that you just can't do itanymore.
Give yourself some grace.
Keep moving forward, even ifit's one teeny tiny step at a
time.
Number five, strength isn't justphysical.
(26:47):
It is mental, emotional, andspiritual.
For years, I tied my identity tophysical strength, but real
strength isn't just aboutmuscles.
It's about perseverance.
Grit and getting back up whenlife knocks you down.
That's an incredible reward foryourself.
(27:09):
Number six, your mental healthdeserves just as much attention
as your physical being.
Stress, anxiety, burnout,whatever it is, will impact your
mind in the way that you'redealing with anything.
They take a toll on you and onyour body, go to therapy, start
(27:30):
journaling.
I journaled for years.
During my breast cancerdiagnosis, I was blogging on a
regular basis.
It was so cleansing.
Meditation is another one.
It took me a long time to reallyfigure out what that is.
You don't have to be in a yogaclass to meditate.
(27:55):
You've gotta figure out whatworks for you.
And while it might sound alittle weird, I've got a mat in
my office, a yoga mat, when Istart to feel stress or an
anxiety, or maybe I'm just burntout and I can't do it anymore,
and it's the middle of the day.
I listen to this calm meditationmusic.
(28:18):
It's this woman that I found onSpotify.
I dunno if I'm pronouncing hername right.
Chara.
Seba.
She calms everything in me, so Ilay on my mat.
I close my eyes.
I take a lot of deep breaths.
I'm not even sure how long I doit for, but I wait until I feel
(28:42):
like my heart has stopped racingor that I've reenergized myself.
It's usually not more than fiveminutes.
My mind has reset and I can jumpback into whatever it was that I
was doing before.
So whatever helps you process,make it a priority you would be
(29:03):
shocked how much meditation canimpact you, and you can do it
anywhere.
Number seven, control what youcan, and more importantly, let
go of what you can't.
So much in life is out of ourcontrol.
Others, pe, other people'sactions, unexpected setbacks,
(29:23):
the timing of things, the waypeople respond or they don't
respond, that's outta yourcontrol.
Focus on small wins, celebratethe progress, and stop carrying
the guilt over things that youjust can't change.
And finally, number eight,resilience is a skill every
(29:44):
challenge helps us build moreresilience.
It's like a muscle.
It gets better, you will lookback someday and you are going
to say to yourself, holy shit, Imade it through something that I
thought was impossible.
That's how I got through thebreast cancer diagnosis was an
(30:07):
entire year long battle.
That's a long time.
When you think of the dailythings that occur when you are
fighting cancer, be good toyourself.
And for those of you who've beenthrough some heavy shit lately,
I would love to hear from you.
DM me on Instagram at In ShockRadio, or leave a comment on
(30:30):
this podcast.
Let me know how you're feeling.
Let's continue this conversationtogether.
Until next time.
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