March 16, 2025 • 27 mins
Teresa dives into the raw, emotional reality of financial struggles—something far too common, yet rarely talked about honestly. With unfiltered emotion, she opens up about her personal experience during the 2008 financial crisis, sharing what it truly felt like to be drowning in money problems. From the anxiety, depression, and isolation to the impact on relationships, she lays it all out.
But this isn’t just about struggle—it’s about finding a way out. Teresa shares the hard but necessary steps she took to regain control, including confronting financial realities, cutting non-essential expenses, finding ways to earn extra income, and creating a no-BS budget. If you’re tired of just surviving and want real talk on how to get unstuck, this episode is for you.
Thank you for tuning in! I truly appreciate every single listener—whether you’re here for the first time or have been with me from the start.
Want more? Follow me on TikTok and Instagram @inshockradio for extra content, motivation, and real-life moments!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey everyone, and welcome to theshow.
I am so excited you're here, andif you're a new listener, thanks
for tuning in.
It truly means a lot that wehave this time together.
If you're listening, becausesomeone shared this with you,
that is awesome and I know someof you'll pass this along to a
(00:21):
friend because today we'regetting real about something so
many people struggle with, butno one really talks about.
Money problems.
I'm gonna break down four simplethings you can do to start
improving your situation.
And if today's topic isn'tsomething you're personally
(00:43):
dealing with, I guarantee youknow someone who is.
So share this with'em becauseyou know what sucks being broke.
I'm talking about the kind ofbroke where you're scraping by.
Stressing over bills andwondering, how the hell am I
(01:04):
gonna buy food?
When you're so broke, you haveno savings, no investments.
Maybe you have a car, but noreal security.
And worst of all, no one to bailyou out.
That's broke as fuck.
Have you been there?
Are you there right now?
(01:25):
Because I've been there and Iknow how suffocating it feels
being this broke means everydollar you make is already
accounted for and you have verylittle to survive on.
You know that kind of stressthat's so heavy it follows you
(01:47):
everywhere, even when you'retrying to sleep.
If this sounds like somethingyou're going through, if you're
tired of just surviving andwanna start building a way out
of this broke situation, thisepisode is for you.
Did you know that financialstress is one of the biggest
(02:09):
stressors in the world?
It is the leading cause ofanxiety, depression, and
relationship problems.
You know why?
'cause it affects every aspectof our lives.
Let's be real.
There's very little you can doin this world without money.
We can go walk on the beach, wecan go to the park, we can go
(02:31):
outside but outside of that cashis king.
And today I'm gonna share theexact steps that I took to pull
myself out of survival mode.
In 2008 during the financialcrisis.
I lost my six figure job.
I was in the high tech industryand at that same time I was
(02:56):
going through a divorce.
I have three kids.
One was in diapers at that time.
Another in kindergarten, and Ihad one attending a private
Catholic high school with atuition bill I wasn't sure how I
was gonna be able to pay so letme just paint the picture of
what the global financial crisisin 2008 look like.
(03:21):
Those of us who were in it willnever forget it because it
wasn't just a tough year, it wasan economic disaster.
Tent.
Cities were popping up in townsacross the country, and the
biggest one was near where Ilived, just outside of
Sacramento.
Families were creating thesemakeshift shelters and open
(03:43):
fields bringing.
Anything that they could fromtheir home to these new houses
that they were creating becausethey had lost everything.
They didn't have money to paytheir mortgages.
They were losing their homes.
Foreclosures were at an all timehigh, and the worst part, there
(04:03):
were no jobs.
Every single industry wascutting people loose, left and
right.
Tech, finance, retail,manufacturing.
The restaurant industry, youname it.
It didn't matter what yourbackground was.
If you had a job on Monday, youcould be unemployed by Friday.
(04:26):
This was millions of people.
Who weren't just struggling topay their bills, they were
losing everything.
Savings gone, homes gone,stability gone.
And for someone like me who hadjust lost a six figure job and
was going through a divorce, itfelt like the entire world was
(04:51):
collapsing around me.
I remember waking up in themorning thinking.
How am I gonna get through this?
Because in my mind there were nooptions.
The economy wasn't recoveringanytime soon, and the companies
that were still standing at thetime, they sure weren't hiring.
(05:13):
Maybe you're going throughsomething similar right now.
Maybe you're in an unexpectedlife change that turned
everything upside down for youfinancially.
That feeling of panic, ofrealizing you have no backup
plan.
I get it.
I had no safety net, no savings.
(05:35):
My 401k went to shit.
I had nothing.
Just me, my bills and a hell ofa lot of uncertainty.
I was stretched so thin.
I had nothing left after rentmonthly bills, my car payment
(05:55):
and my son's school tuition, itadded up so fast.
I barely had anything left tobuy food.
Have you ever skipped a mealjust to make sure your kids
could eat?
That was my reality.
(06:15):
Some days I wasn't even thinkingabout myself.
My only concern was how was Igoing to feed my kids?
I was in the middle of a verydifficult divorce with no
support coming in, and threeboys depending on me, one of my
(06:35):
girlfriends invited me over toher house to go grocery shopping
in her pantry.
Let that sink in.
Can you imagine standing in yourfriend's kitchen with a couple
of grocery bags filling it withtheir food that they bought for
their family?
(06:57):
Because you have nothing at hometo feed your kids.
I'll never forget the mix ofemotions.
So grateful, yet so humiliated.
I had no idea how I would everpay her back, and just when I
thought it couldn't get worse,another bill hit.
(07:22):
I wasn't just broke.
I was drowning.
You guys.
When you're broke, it's not justabout the money, it is about
what it does to you, how it eatsaway at your confidence, your
dignity, your sense ofself-worth.
(07:43):
I felt trapped, no matter howhard I tried.
I was sinking deeper.
I didn't have the luxury ofdistractions.
I couldn't go on a vacation.
I couldn't go out to eat.
I couldn't even grab a burger atMcDonald's if I wanted to.
I wasn't grabbing drinks withfriends.
(08:04):
I wasn't even buying a damncoffee.
I stayed at home because Ididn't have the money to go
anywhere, and even then I didn'twant people covering my tab.
It made me so uncomfortable.
I was somebody who took care ofmyself.
I made my own money.
(08:26):
I was grateful, but every timeit happened, I felt like I owed
them something, even though theynever asked.
After a while, I started feelinglike a charity case.
I couldn't shake that feeling,and honestly, I didn't want the
reminder that other peopleweren't struggling like I was.
(08:48):
The weight of it all felt soheavy.
I was drowning while everyoneelse seemed to be swimming right
past me.
It was an awful feeling.
I cried a lot.
Shit.
It's still something I rememberso well, and it is such a
terrible place to be.
(09:10):
I know how it feels.
For those of you who are in it,there's frustration.
There's sheer exhaustion andsometimes you're just so worn
out from all of it.
You just wanna sleep your lifeaway.
When you're in that place, it'snot just about being broke, you
guys, it's about feeling veryalone.
(09:34):
I was at the thinnest point inmy life.
I was so damn skinny.
Not because I was dieting, notbecause I was hitting the gym,
but because the anxiety waseating me alive, literally one
pound at a time.
When you're broke, you're notjust struggling financially.
(09:55):
Your body feels it too.
The constant anxiety, thesleepless nights, the skipped
meals, because you can't affordto eat because your stomachs and
knots from stress.
It all adds up if you're in thisright now.
(10:16):
You've gotta start taking careof yourself.
I didn't.
I wasn't eating enough and Idamn sure wasn't sleeping.
In my last episode, I talkedabout meditation and how
powerful it can be for relievingstress and improving sleep.
(10:36):
If you're not sure where tostart, it's easier than you
think.
Just go to Spotify.
Or your favorite streamingplatform and search for
meditation.
You will find tons of greatoptions.
Pick one.
Close your eyes and just chillfor one to two minutes.
(10:59):
Maybe take three to four deepcleansing breaths and really let
it out.
So that you can reset yourself.
It doesn't have to becomplicated, and trust me, even
in a few minutes, it can make ahuge difference.
(11:22):
But back then I was waking upevery morning exhausted, and
every night I would just layawake, staring at the ceiling,
feeling completely helpless.
And the worst part of all, I hadto pretend I was okay.
I had kids to take care ofresponsibilities.
(11:44):
I couldn't just walk away.
I.
I'm gonna share some lessons andthe things that I did to make it
better, being broke teaches youthings that nobody else can.
It is one of life's greatestlessons because you have to have
money to survive.
(12:04):
no matter how impossible thismay seem, you can get unstuck.
If any of this is soundingfamiliar to you I want you to
know and to believe you're notalone.
I knew I couldn't keep livinglike that.
I could either sit in mystruggle and let it consume me,
(12:27):
which it already was, or I couldstart figuring out how to pull
myself out, how to make thisbetter.
You're not stuck, but you dohave to make a decision to
change it.
You've gotta change yourmindset.
So here's what I did.
I faced my reality head on.
(12:49):
This was the hardest part.
I actually wasn't somebody thatpaid attention to my finances.
I always avoided it.
I wasn't in a marriage wheresomeone took care of me.
I always earned my own money.
I.
I know there's people out therethat would rather be taken care
of, and I get it.
(13:12):
But I just avoided sitting downand looking at my finances.
I would pay my own bills.
That wasn't new to me.
It just felt overwhelming andavoiding it guys, it doesn't
make the bills disappear.
So I sat down, and I got realabout what was coming in and
(13:36):
what was going out.
It wasn't pretty.
I had to face it in order to fixit.
If you're feeling stuck, thefirst step is knowing exactly
where you stand, no matter howbad it looks.
I'm telling you, avoiding itdoes make it worse.
It creates a lot of stress.
(13:56):
This at least puts the facts onthe paper.
It doesn't.
Lie to you, so get out anotebook.
My favorite thing, get out aspreadsheet if you prefer to do
this digitally, but write downplugin the amount of money that
(14:18):
you're getting from unemploymentor from your paycheck and what's
going out.
What do you have left to surviveon?
I also cut back on everything,like everything.
I had already cut back where Icould, but I needed to go
deeper.
(14:39):
I looked at every expense I had.
Do I absolutely need this?
I canceled subscriptions.
I called service providers likeComcast to ask for a lower rate,
and I stopped spending onanything that wasn't essential.
It wasn't fun, but it wasnecessary.
(15:00):
And you probably think I'vealready cut back enough.
I promise.
There's always more that you canadjust.
You have to get ruthless withit.
I'm gonna go back in time alittle bit.
So I lost my dad when I was 10years old.
He died of colon cancer.
We lived in a country club.
(15:20):
On the golf course were verywell taken care of.
My father owned his ownarchitect firm.
What I want you to know is thatmy mom had four kids.
She had to take care of.
So she blew through our savingsand she always said, we're
broke.
(15:41):
We're broke.
We even went on food stamps.
This isn't the first season ofbeing broke.
But when you're in it byyourself as an adult versus
being the child of it, it isvery different'cause you have
responsibilities.
I never wanted to say I wasbroke to my kids.
It has a negative connotation toit and if you're like me and you
(16:05):
believe in the law ofattraction, it's gonna keep
delivering that you gotta changeyour mindset.
So this is kind of a cute story.
I.
My kids would say, you know, Iwant this, I want that.
You know how it is when you gotlittle hands in the cart at the
grocery store.
We didn't have money, and theywould grab something and I would
(16:27):
say, we don't have money in thebank to buy that right now.
It has to be something that youreally need.
We can't afford anything that wewant.
And their cute little faceslooked at me and they said, what
does that mean?
And I said, well, when you needsomething, that's something
there that's gonna help you,it's gonna make you feel good
(16:50):
because you're taking care ofyourself.
Something along those lines.
But when you want something,it's a nice to have.
It's something that you justdon't need.
Oh, and what was really funnyabout this, they kind of modeled
that after me.
There was a time when one of'emsaid, mommy, I really want this.
(17:15):
Is there money flowing in thebank so that I can get it?
I sure remember those days andthey're just adorable when kids
repeat things that you've taughtthem.
So change your mindset and usedifferent words.
I think that's very helpful.
(17:36):
But when you're broke.
It's easy to feel like you havenothing.
And when I say nothing, I meanthat there are no options.
There's no way out.
There's no control, but there is'cause.
Guess what?
We all have skills we canleverage to make money.
You may not see them right away,but they are there.
(18:00):
I had to sit down and askmyself.
What am I good at?
What skills do I already havethat someone would pay for?
At that time, no one was hiring,getting a job was out of the
question.
My profession was in technologysales.
(18:20):
I knew how to problem solve, soI use that skill to help me I
started looking at everypossible way that I can bring in
extra cash that would be sellingthings that aren't necessities.
Things like clothes, toys,furniture, anything like that.
(18:41):
And speaking of toys, I used togo Christmas shopping at thrift
shops way before thrifting wascool.
That's how I got my kidsChristmas gifts.
You gotta get creative I took onside gigs.
All my friends knew I wasstruggling financially.
(19:02):
It was pretty obvious.
They watched me melt away intonothing.
Together we came up with thesecreative ideas.
Why don't you watch my housewhile I'm on vacation?
Why don't you come over andwater my plants during the day?
I don't wanna do it when I gethome.
Can you watch my dogs?
Can you walk my dogs?
Can you run errands for me?
(19:22):
And they paid me for it.
Yes, it was absolutely weird atfirst because these were my
friends, but everyone waswilling to help and I was
helping them.
So my level of guilt wasminimal.
I was creating opportunities formyself.
And that is the first step togetting out of survival mode,
(19:46):
recognizing that you havesomething to offer.
One of my girlfriends and I wereon a walk,'cause it was free,
and that was in my budget.
She's a career counselor andthis was not a session, it was
just two friends out on a walktalking.
And I had said, I gotta figureout what else I can do to make a
(20:06):
little bit extra money.
I'm still really strapped.
And she said, you know what?
You've been a fitness trainer,you've taught aerobics.
Why don't you train people andmake some money?
So I put an ad in Craigslist andI got a couple clients out of
(20:26):
it.
When you're broke, you have tobe resourceful.
Think outside the box.
That's what I had to do.
So if you love animals, try petsitting or house sitting.
If you're really organized,maybe you offer to help a friend
(20:48):
get their home organized.
If you're good with words, helppeople write their resumes you
could babysit maybe you're anincredible cook, and all your
friends say, my God, I wish Icould cook like you.
You could offer to cook fortheir family.
Maybe you deliver your cookedmeals because they're such a
(21:12):
busy family.
That's what I'm talking about.
We all have these skills and wecan turn them into little gigs.
Think how much.
People pay to maintain theiryards, get their houses cleaned.
You could offer to do that andcharge a lot less and would be
(21:36):
helping them save money inreturn.
The key is to stop thinkingyou're stuck.
The other thing I did for thefirst time in my life is I put a
budget together.
Even when you're stretched thin,creating a budget is
non-negotiable.
(21:57):
You need to see exactly how muchmoney you have.
How much is going towardscovering your overhead, and most
importantly, what is left tosurvive on?
To put gas in your car, food onyour table.
Yes, that's surviving becausewhen you're broke, it's not
(22:18):
about budgeting for extras, it'sabout making sure you can make
it to the next check, anythingto help without losing
everything you have.
If you're feeling completelystuck and drowning in credit
card debt, know that you do haveoptions.
Bankruptcy might not be foreveryone, but for some it can be
(22:41):
a way to wipe out the slateclean and start fresh.
And if you wanna learn moreabout whether or not bankruptcy
is for you.
My girlfriend, who is abankruptcy attorney.
Did a podcast together, episodethree, financial Freedom,
navigating Debt and Bankruptcy.
(23:02):
Listen to it.
Even if you're not gonna file,you might get something out of
it.
So whether you file forbankruptcy to clear out your
credit card debt or you took thepath I took because I didn't
have credit card debt at thetime, there were definitely hard
days.
There's still moments where youfeel like you may.
(23:23):
Not be making progress, but overtime these little changes that
you're making add up.
If you're running an errand fora friend and they're giving you
10 bucks, it's 10 bucks.
You didn't have, do you wannaknow how much I was charging
people to train them?
$20 a session?
Why did I do that?
I wasn't undercutting myself.
(23:44):
I was trying to get people forme to train them at a reasonable
price because this was duringthe global financial crisis.
It's not like everybody had anunlimited amount of money.
Everybody was tight.
Some had jobs, some didn't.
But it was hard living duringthat time.
(24:07):
So I took what I could get.
You pay me 15 bucks to walk yourdogs, I'll walk your dogs, but I
want you to know you can get outof this survival mode that many
of us have been in.
You can rebuild no matter howbad things might look for you
right now.
(24:27):
I did it and you can too.
Open up your laptop, get thatspreadsheet cranking, and what
you do is on the left side youcreate a column of all of your
bills, and then at the bottomyou run a total, and underneath
that, you plug in whatever theincome is that's coming in for
(24:50):
you is subtract that monthlytotal from the amount of money
that's coming in every month.
You get to see what you haveleft to survive on.
That's this very simple budget.
There are many templates outthere that I am sure are
available to you for free.
Some of'em are more complicatedthan others.
(25:12):
I don't want this to be anexercise that feels complicated
'cause God knows we're allstretched for time.
If you're stressed, the lastthing you wanna do is whip out a
notebook or a spreadsheet.
It's simple.
If you don't have a laptop,crank this out on a piece of
paper, all the outgoing and whatyou have incoming.
(25:36):
Subtract it so that you can seewhat you have left over.
If you're going through thisright now, what's the biggest
struggle you faced and what didyou do to help yourself through
it?
DM me on Instagram at In ShockRadio.
I would love to hear about itand if this episode.
(26:00):
Wasn't for you specifically.
But you know somebody who isthat could benefit from it.
Share it with them so that theycan hear.
They're not alone.
You heard me earlier.
I was crying.
It was emotional to talk aboutthis.
Far more emotional than when Ihad cancer.
That's how massive financialstruggles hit somebody.
(26:27):
Think about that.
Until next time.
Hey everyone, and welcome to theshow.
I am so excited you're here, andif you're a new listener, thanks
for tuning in.
It truly means a lot that wehave this time together.
If you're listening, becausesomeone shared this with you,
that is awesome and I know someof you'll pass this along to a
(00:21):
friend because today we'regetting real about something so
many people struggle with, butno one really talks about.
Money problems.
I'm gonna break down four simplethings you can do to start
improving your situation.
And if today's topic isn'tsomething you're personally
(00:43):
dealing with, I guarantee youknow someone who is.
So share this with'em becauseyou know what sucks being broke.
I'm talking about the kind ofbroke where you're scraping by.
Stressing over bills andwondering, how the hell am I
(01:04):
gonna buy food?
When you're so broke, you haveno savings, no investments.
Maybe you have a car, but noreal security.
And worst of all, no one to bailyou out.
That's broke as fuck.
Have you been there?
Are you there right now?
(01:25):
Because I've been there and Iknow how suffocating it feels
being this broke means everydollar you make is already
accounted for and you have verylittle to survive on.
You know that kind of stressthat's so heavy it follows you
(01:47):
everywhere, even when you'retrying to sleep.
If this sounds like somethingyou're going through, if you're
tired of just surviving andwanna start building a way out
of this broke situation, thisepisode is for you.
Did you know that financialstress is one of the biggest
(02:09):
stressors in the world?
It is the leading cause ofanxiety, depression, and
relationship problems.
You know why?
'cause it affects every aspectof our lives.
Let's be real.
There's very little you can doin this world without money.
We can go walk on the beach, wecan go to the park, we can go
(02:31):
outside but outside of that cashis king.
And today I'm gonna share theexact steps that I took to pull
myself out of survival mode.
In 2008 during the financialcrisis.
I lost my six figure job.
I was in the high tech industryand at that same time I was
(02:56):
going through a divorce.
I have three kids.
One was in diapers at that time.
Another in kindergarten, and Ihad one attending a private
Catholic high school with atuition bill I wasn't sure how I
was gonna be able to pay so letme just paint the picture of
what the global financial crisisin 2008 look like.
(03:21):
Those of us who were in it willnever forget it because it
wasn't just a tough year, it wasan economic disaster.
Tent.
Cities were popping up in townsacross the country, and the
biggest one was near where Ilived, just outside of
Sacramento.
Families were creating thesemakeshift shelters and open
(03:43):
fields bringing.
Anything that they could fromtheir home to these new houses
that they were creating becausethey had lost everything.
They didn't have money to paytheir mortgages.
They were losing their homes.
Foreclosures were at an all timehigh, and the worst part, there
(04:03):
were no jobs.
Every single industry wascutting people loose, left and
right.
Tech, finance, retail,manufacturing.
The restaurant industry, youname it.
It didn't matter what yourbackground was.
If you had a job on Monday, youcould be unemployed by Friday.
(04:26):
This was millions of people.
Who weren't just struggling topay their bills, they were
losing everything.
Savings gone, homes gone,stability gone.
And for someone like me who hadjust lost a six figure job and
was going through a divorce, itfelt like the entire world was
(04:51):
collapsing around me.
I remember waking up in themorning thinking.
How am I gonna get through this?
Because in my mind there were nooptions.
The economy wasn't recoveringanytime soon, and the companies
that were still standing at thetime, they sure weren't hiring.
(05:13):
Maybe you're going throughsomething similar right now.
Maybe you're in an unexpectedlife change that turned
everything upside down for youfinancially.
That feeling of panic, ofrealizing you have no backup
plan.
I get it.
I had no safety net, no savings.
(05:35):
My 401k went to shit.
I had nothing.
Just me, my bills and a hell ofa lot of uncertainty.
I was stretched so thin.
I had nothing left after rentmonthly bills, my car payment
(05:55):
and my son's school tuition, itadded up so fast.
I barely had anything left tobuy food.
Have you ever skipped a mealjust to make sure your kids
could eat?
That was my reality.
(06:15):
Some days I wasn't even thinkingabout myself.
My only concern was how was Igoing to feed my kids?
I was in the middle of a verydifficult divorce with no
support coming in, and threeboys depending on me, one of my
(06:35):
girlfriends invited me over toher house to go grocery shopping
in her pantry.
Let that sink in.
Can you imagine standing in yourfriend's kitchen with a couple
of grocery bags filling it withtheir food that they bought for
their family?
(06:57):
Because you have nothing at hometo feed your kids.
I'll never forget the mix ofemotions.
So grateful, yet so humiliated.
I had no idea how I would everpay her back, and just when I
thought it couldn't get worse,another bill hit.
(07:22):
I wasn't just broke.
I was drowning.
You guys.
When you're broke, it's not justabout the money, it is about
what it does to you, how it eatsaway at your confidence, your
dignity, your sense ofself-worth.
(07:43):
I felt trapped, no matter howhard I tried.
I was sinking deeper.
I didn't have the luxury ofdistractions.
I couldn't go on a vacation.
I couldn't go out to eat.
I couldn't even grab a burger atMcDonald's if I wanted to.
I wasn't grabbing drinks withfriends.
(08:04):
I wasn't even buying a damncoffee.
I stayed at home because Ididn't have the money to go
anywhere, and even then I didn'twant people covering my tab.
It made me so uncomfortable.
I was somebody who took care ofmyself.
I made my own money.
(08:26):
I was grateful, but every timeit happened, I felt like I owed
them something, even though theynever asked.
After a while, I started feelinglike a charity case.
I couldn't shake that feeling,and honestly, I didn't want the
reminder that other peopleweren't struggling like I was.
(08:48):
The weight of it all felt soheavy.
I was drowning while everyoneelse seemed to be swimming right
past me.
It was an awful feeling.
I cried a lot.
Shit.
It's still something I rememberso well, and it is such a
terrible place to be.
(09:10):
I know how it feels.
For those of you who are in it,there's frustration.
There's sheer exhaustion andsometimes you're just so worn
out from all of it.
You just wanna sleep your lifeaway.
When you're in that place, it'snot just about being broke, you
guys, it's about feeling veryalone.
(09:34):
I was at the thinnest point inmy life.
I was so damn skinny.
Not because I was dieting, notbecause I was hitting the gym,
but because the anxiety waseating me alive, literally one
pound at a time.
When you're broke, you're notjust struggling financially.
(09:55):
Your body feels it too.
The constant anxiety, thesleepless nights, the skipped
meals, because you can't affordto eat because your stomachs and
knots from stress.
It all adds up if you're in thisright now.
(10:16):
You've gotta start taking careof yourself.
I didn't.
I wasn't eating enough and Idamn sure wasn't sleeping.
In my last episode, I talkedabout meditation and how
powerful it can be for relievingstress and improving sleep.
(10:36):
If you're not sure where tostart, it's easier than you
think.
Just go to Spotify.
Or your favorite streamingplatform and search for
meditation.
You will find tons of greatoptions.
Pick one.
Close your eyes and just chillfor one to two minutes.
(10:59):
Maybe take three to four deepcleansing breaths and really let
it out.
So that you can reset yourself.
It doesn't have to becomplicated, and trust me, even
in a few minutes, it can make ahuge difference.
(11:22):
But back then I was waking upevery morning exhausted, and
every night I would just layawake, staring at the ceiling,
feeling completely helpless.
And the worst part of all, I hadto pretend I was okay.
I had kids to take care ofresponsibilities.
(11:44):
I couldn't just walk away.
I.
I'm gonna share some lessons andthe things that I did to make it
better, being broke teaches youthings that nobody else can.
It is one of life's greatestlessons because you have to have
money to survive.
(12:04):
no matter how impossible thismay seem, you can get unstuck.
If any of this is soundingfamiliar to you I want you to
know and to believe you're notalone.
I knew I couldn't keep livinglike that.
I could either sit in mystruggle and let it consume me,
(12:27):
which it already was, or I couldstart figuring out how to pull
myself out, how to make thisbetter.
You're not stuck, but you dohave to make a decision to
change it.
You've gotta change yourmindset.
So here's what I did.
I faced my reality head on.
(12:49):
This was the hardest part.
I actually wasn't somebody thatpaid attention to my finances.
I always avoided it.
I wasn't in a marriage wheresomeone took care of me.
I always earned my own money.
I.
I know there's people out therethat would rather be taken care
of, and I get it.
(13:12):
But I just avoided sitting downand looking at my finances.
I would pay my own bills.
That wasn't new to me.
It just felt overwhelming andavoiding it guys, it doesn't
make the bills disappear.
So I sat down, and I got realabout what was coming in and
(13:36):
what was going out.
It wasn't pretty.
I had to face it in order to fixit.
If you're feeling stuck, thefirst step is knowing exactly
where you stand, no matter howbad it looks.
I'm telling you, avoiding itdoes make it worse.
It creates a lot of stress.
(13:56):
This at least puts the facts onthe paper.
It doesn't.
Lie to you, so get out anotebook.
My favorite thing, get out aspreadsheet if you prefer to do
this digitally, but write downplugin the amount of money that
(14:18):
you're getting from unemploymentor from your paycheck and what's
going out.
What do you have left to surviveon?
I also cut back on everything,like everything.
I had already cut back where Icould, but I needed to go
deeper.
(14:39):
I looked at every expense I had.
Do I absolutely need this?
I canceled subscriptions.
I called service providers likeComcast to ask for a lower rate,
and I stopped spending onanything that wasn't essential.
It wasn't fun, but it wasnecessary.
(15:00):
And you probably think I'vealready cut back enough.
I promise.
There's always more that you canadjust.
You have to get ruthless withit.
I'm gonna go back in time alittle bit.
So I lost my dad when I was 10years old.
He died of colon cancer.
We lived in a country club.
(15:20):
On the golf course were verywell taken care of.
My father owned his ownarchitect firm.
What I want you to know is thatmy mom had four kids.
She had to take care of.
So she blew through our savingsand she always said, we're
broke.
(15:41):
We're broke.
We even went on food stamps.
This isn't the first season ofbeing broke.
But when you're in it byyourself as an adult versus
being the child of it, it isvery different'cause you have
responsibilities.
I never wanted to say I wasbroke to my kids.
It has a negative connotation toit and if you're like me and you
(16:05):
believe in the law ofattraction, it's gonna keep
delivering that you gotta changeyour mindset.
So this is kind of a cute story.
I.
My kids would say, you know, Iwant this, I want that.
You know how it is when you gotlittle hands in the cart at the
grocery store.
We didn't have money, and theywould grab something and I would
(16:27):
say, we don't have money in thebank to buy that right now.
It has to be something that youreally need.
We can't afford anything that wewant.
And their cute little faceslooked at me and they said, what
does that mean?
And I said, well, when you needsomething, that's something
there that's gonna help you,it's gonna make you feel good
(16:50):
because you're taking care ofyourself.
Something along those lines.
But when you want something,it's a nice to have.
It's something that you justdon't need.
Oh, and what was really funnyabout this, they kind of modeled
that after me.
There was a time when one of'emsaid, mommy, I really want this.
(17:15):
Is there money flowing in thebank so that I can get it?
I sure remember those days andthey're just adorable when kids
repeat things that you've taughtthem.
So change your mindset and usedifferent words.
I think that's very helpful.
(17:36):
But when you're broke.
It's easy to feel like you havenothing.
And when I say nothing, I meanthat there are no options.
There's no way out.
There's no control, but there is'cause.
Guess what?
We all have skills we canleverage to make money.
You may not see them right away,but they are there.
(18:00):
I had to sit down and askmyself.
What am I good at?
What skills do I already havethat someone would pay for?
At that time, no one was hiring,getting a job was out of the
question.
My profession was in technologysales.
(18:20):
I knew how to problem solve, soI use that skill to help me I
started looking at everypossible way that I can bring in
extra cash that would be sellingthings that aren't necessities.
Things like clothes, toys,furniture, anything like that.
(18:41):
And speaking of toys, I used togo Christmas shopping at thrift
shops way before thrifting wascool.
That's how I got my kidsChristmas gifts.
You gotta get creative I took onside gigs.
All my friends knew I wasstruggling financially.
(19:02):
It was pretty obvious.
They watched me melt away intonothing.
Together we came up with thesecreative ideas.
Why don't you watch my housewhile I'm on vacation?
Why don't you come over andwater my plants during the day?
I don't wanna do it when I gethome.
Can you watch my dogs?
Can you walk my dogs?
Can you run errands for me?
(19:22):
And they paid me for it.
Yes, it was absolutely weird atfirst because these were my
friends, but everyone waswilling to help and I was
helping them.
So my level of guilt wasminimal.
I was creating opportunities formyself.
And that is the first step togetting out of survival mode,
(19:46):
recognizing that you havesomething to offer.
One of my girlfriends and I wereon a walk,'cause it was free,
and that was in my budget.
She's a career counselor andthis was not a session, it was
just two friends out on a walktalking.
And I had said, I gotta figureout what else I can do to make a
(20:06):
little bit extra money.
I'm still really strapped.
And she said, you know what?
You've been a fitness trainer,you've taught aerobics.
Why don't you train people andmake some money?
So I put an ad in Craigslist andI got a couple clients out of
(20:26):
it.
When you're broke, you have tobe resourceful.
Think outside the box.
That's what I had to do.
So if you love animals, try petsitting or house sitting.
If you're really organized,maybe you offer to help a friend
(20:48):
get their home organized.
If you're good with words, helppeople write their resumes you
could babysit maybe you're anincredible cook, and all your
friends say, my God, I wish Icould cook like you.
You could offer to cook fortheir family.
Maybe you deliver your cookedmeals because they're such a
(21:12):
busy family.
That's what I'm talking about.
We all have these skills and wecan turn them into little gigs.
Think how much.
People pay to maintain theiryards, get their houses cleaned.
You could offer to do that andcharge a lot less and would be
(21:36):
helping them save money inreturn.
The key is to stop thinkingyou're stuck.
The other thing I did for thefirst time in my life is I put a
budget together.
Even when you're stretched thin,creating a budget is
non-negotiable.
(21:57):
You need to see exactly how muchmoney you have.
How much is going towardscovering your overhead, and most
importantly, what is left tosurvive on?
To put gas in your car, food onyour table.
Yes, that's surviving becausewhen you're broke, it's not
(22:18):
about budgeting for extras, it'sabout making sure you can make
it to the next check, anythingto help without losing
everything you have.
If you're feeling completelystuck and drowning in credit
card debt, know that you do haveoptions.
Bankruptcy might not be foreveryone, but for some it can be
(22:41):
a way to wipe out the slateclean and start fresh.
And if you wanna learn moreabout whether or not bankruptcy
is for you.
My girlfriend, who is abankruptcy attorney.
Did a podcast together, episodethree, financial Freedom,
navigating Debt and Bankruptcy.
(23:02):
Listen to it.
Even if you're not gonna file,you might get something out of
it.
So whether you file forbankruptcy to clear out your
credit card debt or you took thepath I took because I didn't
have credit card debt at thetime, there were definitely hard
days.
There's still moments where youfeel like you may.
(23:23):
Not be making progress, but overtime these little changes that
you're making add up.
If you're running an errand fora friend and they're giving you
10 bucks, it's 10 bucks.
You didn't have, do you wannaknow how much I was charging
people to train them?
$20 a session?
Why did I do that?
I wasn't undercutting myself.
(23:44):
I was trying to get people forme to train them at a reasonable
price because this was duringthe global financial crisis.
It's not like everybody had anunlimited amount of money.
Everybody was tight.
Some had jobs, some didn't.
But it was hard living duringthat time.
(24:07):
So I took what I could get.
You pay me 15 bucks to walk yourdogs, I'll walk your dogs, but I
want you to know you can get outof this survival mode that many
of us have been in.
You can rebuild no matter howbad things might look for you
right now.
(24:27):
I did it and you can too.
Open up your laptop, get thatspreadsheet cranking, and what
you do is on the left side youcreate a column of all of your
bills, and then at the bottomyou run a total, and underneath
that, you plug in whatever theincome is that's coming in for
(24:50):
you is subtract that monthlytotal from the amount of money
that's coming in every month.
You get to see what you haveleft to survive on.
That's this very simple budget.
There are many templates outthere that I am sure are
available to you for free.
Some of'em are more complicatedthan others.
(25:12):
I don't want this to be anexercise that feels complicated
'cause God knows we're allstretched for time.
If you're stressed, the lastthing you wanna do is whip out a
notebook or a spreadsheet.
It's simple.
If you don't have a laptop,crank this out on a piece of
paper, all the outgoing and whatyou have incoming.
(25:36):
Subtract it so that you can seewhat you have left over.
If you're going through thisright now, what's the biggest
struggle you faced and what didyou do to help yourself through
it?
DM me on Instagram at In ShockRadio.
I would love to hear about itand if this episode.
(26:00):
Wasn't for you specifically.
But you know somebody who isthat could benefit from it.
Share it with them so that theycan hear.
They're not alone.
You heard me earlier.
I was crying.
It was emotional to talk aboutthis.
Far more emotional than when Ihad cancer.
That's how massive financialstruggles hit somebody.
(26:27):
Think about that.
Until next time.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.