February 10, 2025 • 8 mins
Does the idea of having a difficult conversation at work make you want to pack up and go home?
Dom Price is the resident Work Futurist at Atlassian and he has a range of tips and ideas on how to make these difficult conversations easier.
Dom shares:
- 💡 The things you can do to make difficult conversations easier.
- 🤔 What are the easiest ‘difficult conversations.’
- ✅ The one thing you should do when entering a tough conversation.
- 🚫 One thing many of us do that makes these conversations harder than they need to be.
Connect Dom via X, Linkedin, or on his website.
Listen to the full Interview with Dom here.
My latest book The Health Habit is out now. You can order a copy here: https://www.amantha.com/the-health-habit/
Connect with me on the socials: Linkedin (https://www.linkedin.com/in/amanthaimber)
Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/amanthai)
If you are looking for more tips to improve the way you work and live, I write a weekly newsletter where I share practical and simple to apply tips to improve your life. You can sign up for that at https://amantha-imber.ck.page/subscribe
Visit https://www.amantha.com/podcast for full show notes from all episodes.
Get in touch at amantha@inventium.com.au
Credits:
Host: Amantha Imber
Sound Engineer: The Podcast Butler
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Most of us don't look forward to difficult conversations with
someone at work, But what if they're not as hard
as we make them out to be. For many of us,
having to give someone bad news or maybe some necessary
constructive criticism is something we spend a lot of time
either planning for or stressing over. In our minds. We
(00:23):
worry about what the other person will say, whether or
not we might hurt their feelings, and countless other possible
ways it could go poorly. Dom Price is at Lassian's
work futurist, and he prides himself on his ability to
handle tough conversations. With responsibilities spanning seven global R and
D centers, he has had his fair share of difficult
(00:46):
conversations with people, so I wanted to pick his brain
on how best to handle these conversations. Welcome to How
I Was, a show about habits, rituals, and strategies for
optimizing your day. I'm your host, doctor Amantha Imper. On
(01:11):
today's Quick Win episode, we go back to an interview
from the past and I pick out a quick win
that you can apply today. In today's show, Dom reveals
the key tricks you can use to make difficult conversations easier,
and the thing many of us are doing that actually
turns normal conversations into difficult ones. I would love to
(01:34):
know to start with, what are the main types of
difficult conversations that you're finding you're having and maybe others
at lassion and needing to have.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
In the workplace, it's almost always a derivation of feedback, right,
And it could be feedback in there here's something you
did or didn't do. It could be feedback in the
every now and then, yeah, I work I saw this
as well. We don't all have one hundred percent of
self awareness, So every now and then it's one telling
you something that you've not acknowledged or seen yet and
you're like, oh, I don't know how that's going to
(02:06):
go down. So it's normally pointing something out that is
somewhat controversial or fueled in some way. Right, it's a
hot topic where you're nervous about the consequences. Right, it
feels like there might be recourse. That's why it's fascinating,
because one of the first things is just reframe, Right,
it's just conversation. The fact that we label it difficult
(02:27):
conversation or crucial conversation suddenly we've upped the ards and
you're like, oh no, this is now a difficult conversation.
I must go and prepare for said in whose eyes?
Is it difficult? Like we've already labeled it a bad thing? Right,
so mindset wise, God knows chemically what's going on in
our brain. When you're like, I'm now sitting you down
for a difficult and I imagine this. Someone did that, Amantha,
(02:49):
I'm now going to sit you down for a difficult conversation,
You're like, why is it difficult? What's difficult about it?
So I see the reframe of like, either if I
don't say this what happens as you said before, or
or otherwise I think about it as a gift. If
it's someone's not seeing something and I'm helping them build
more awareness, and I'm doing it with good intent, I'm
not doing it for wantupmanship or for maliciousness, then that's
(03:11):
a gift. It genuinely should be a gift. And if
I reframe it like that, my words are very different.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
What else are you doing to prepare for that conversation?
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Lots of questions? If you know me well enough to
know I suffer with an abundance of confidence, which can
be quite destructive. And so I'm always like, oh, if
I've seen something and I've used the halo effectacy again
and again and again, what biases am I applying to
this That might may or may not be true, but
they're certainly influencing the way I'm seeing it. I always
(03:40):
think that for any stimulus you put in the middle
of a room, if hundred of us stood around a circle,
we're all looking at the same thing, but we've got
a different view. And so I have to check my
biases every now and then. And then normally the hardest
question to answer, but one that's full of wonderment is
what might be going on for that person right now.
It's not that you can ever answer that, but it's
(04:02):
just one of going You probably know a fraction of
a percentage of what's happening with them, so be careful.
I don't don't make assumptions about what's going on with them,
and therefore charging with answers, maybe charging there subtly, but
with questions like what is going on right now? How
are you going? Like? So the question I asked this first,
I was like, how did you think that the workshop went?
(04:23):
And they were like amazing, And I was like, oh good,
good in that case, would you like my view because
as a participant, but my question to them was, what
are you seeing that made you think it was amazing?
Because I'm genuinely curious about that you They weren't lying.
They genuinely thought it was I'm like, you explain your
world and it'll make me more aware of what you
(04:43):
what signals you took in. Too many of us enter
the conversation to go so I'm going to persuade you
why I'm right and you're wrong. And that's not a
difficult conversation. That's a one way conversation. Versus, tell me
more about your situation, your world, what's going on? How
did you find that that that's bringing them into the conversation.
It's a completely different model.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
It's interesting because I can see how that can apply
to giving someone feedback. But I wonder when it is
an objectively hard conversation, like let's just say it's pay
review time. Someone hasn't hit their targets and you're there
to tell them you're not getting a pay rise for
another twelve months. Like that is not a fun conversation.
There is no way of spinning that to go? But
(05:24):
what's your perspective? Do you maybe think this is the undestading?
How is it different in those instances where I think
we can agree this is objectively not a good conversation
to be having for anyone.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Maybe I'm just like an absolute narcissist, But I've had
those conversations in my career and I don't mind them
because the normal normally based off a fact like this
was your target. You did not hit that target. So
I think facts are friends. When you've got a fact,
you're like, oh, this isn't my opinion anymore. It's not
I don't think you made your target. You didn't make
your target. But you're like, cool, okay, so that didn't
(05:57):
happen and the consequences of that are and then normally
it's a reset to go. How do you feel about that?
Because I always want to check in with the person.
Does that make you feel if they're like I expected
it and you hadn't in my target, but you're like okay,
Or they're like I didn't meet it and I still
think I should have had one hundred percent pay round,
You're like, okay, that's a different problem to solve, but
I need to know your perspective is a very important
data point. But then that's a flip of a conversation
(06:20):
to go. Do you want an invite? Do you want
to have a career conversation about what thriving looks like
here and how we can work together to do that,
or don't you That's a genuine option, and because sometimes
people are like, nah, I've reached my pinnacle or I'm
done here. I don't like it and I want to
move on, Like ol, there's no point in me sugar
coating into the bad news. You're done here, and let's
have a chat about how we help you gracefully exit
(06:42):
and what's next. Or they're like, no, I'm in here's
the circumstances that meant I didn't nail it last year.
How can we have a conversation about what that looks
like if I'm thriving. I think what makes that conversation harder,
manth is how long we leave it for. It's the
time difference between missing the target and having the chata.
(07:04):
You missed the target, having that chat is in context, Hey,
who's your target? We set that's fair, Let's have a
meaningful conversation about why did you miss what the ups,
what were the downs, what the circumstances. That's a great
time to have that conversation. Three months later, when you
book a meeting with the person, that's an ambush. It's like, oh,
this is a fake complete you missed, you don't like
(07:24):
it's over, and so I don't think that's a particularly
engaging conversation. I want. I used to work with this
so bad news doesn't get better with time, and it doesn't,
but we just leave it too long with the hope
that something magical will make it better. It doesn't, so
it then feels like an ambush and it's too late.
I can't cause correct, I can't do anything different.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
I hope you enjoyed this little quick win with Dom Price.
If you'd like to listen to the full interview, you
can find a link to that in the show notes.
If you like today's show, make sure you gud follow
on your podcast app to be alerted when new episodes drop.
How I Work was recorded on the traditional land of
the Worrange, Gary people, part of the Coolon Nation
Most of us don't look forward to difficult conversations with
someone at work, But what if they're not as hard
as we make them out to be. For many of us,
having to give someone bad news or maybe some necessary
constructive criticism is something we spend a lot of time
either planning for or stressing over. In our minds. We
(00:23):
worry about what the other person will say, whether or
not we might hurt their feelings, and countless other possible
ways it could go poorly. Dom Price is at Lassian's
work futurist, and he prides himself on his ability to
handle tough conversations. With responsibilities spanning seven global R and
D centers, he has had his fair share of difficult
(00:46):
conversations with people, so I wanted to pick his brain
on how best to handle these conversations. Welcome to How
I Was, a show about habits, rituals, and strategies for
optimizing your day. I'm your host, doctor Amantha Imper. On
(01:11):
today's Quick Win episode, we go back to an interview
from the past and I pick out a quick win
that you can apply today. In today's show, Dom reveals
the key tricks you can use to make difficult conversations easier,
and the thing many of us are doing that actually
turns normal conversations into difficult ones. I would love to
(01:34):
know to start with, what are the main types of
difficult conversations that you're finding you're having and maybe others
at lassion and needing to have.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
In the workplace, it's almost always a derivation of feedback, right,
And it could be feedback in there here's something you
did or didn't do. It could be feedback in the
every now and then, yeah, I work I saw this
as well. We don't all have one hundred percent of
self awareness, So every now and then it's one telling
you something that you've not acknowledged or seen yet and
you're like, oh, I don't know how that's going to
(02:06):
go down. So it's normally pointing something out that is
somewhat controversial or fueled in some way. Right, it's a
hot topic where you're nervous about the consequences. Right, it
feels like there might be recourse. That's why it's fascinating,
because one of the first things is just reframe, Right,
it's just conversation. The fact that we label it difficult
(02:27):
conversation or crucial conversation suddenly we've upped the ards and
you're like, oh no, this is now a difficult conversation.
I must go and prepare for said in whose eyes?
Is it difficult? Like we've already labeled it a bad thing? Right,
so mindset wise, God knows chemically what's going on in
our brain. When you're like, I'm now sitting you down
for a difficult and I imagine this. Someone did that, Amantha,
(02:49):
I'm now going to sit you down for a difficult conversation,
You're like, why is it difficult? What's difficult about it?
So I see the reframe of like, either if I
don't say this what happens as you said before, or
or otherwise I think about it as a gift. If
it's someone's not seeing something and I'm helping them build
more awareness, and I'm doing it with good intent, I'm
not doing it for wantupmanship or for maliciousness, then that's
(03:11):
a gift. It genuinely should be a gift. And if
I reframe it like that, my words are very different.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
What else are you doing to prepare for that conversation?
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Lots of questions? If you know me well enough to
know I suffer with an abundance of confidence, which can
be quite destructive. And so I'm always like, oh, if
I've seen something and I've used the halo effectacy again
and again and again, what biases am I applying to
this That might may or may not be true, but
they're certainly influencing the way I'm seeing it. I always
(03:40):
think that for any stimulus you put in the middle
of a room, if hundred of us stood around a circle,
we're all looking at the same thing, but we've got
a different view. And so I have to check my
biases every now and then. And then normally the hardest
question to answer, but one that's full of wonderment is
what might be going on for that person right now.
It's not that you can ever answer that, but it's
(04:02):
just one of going You probably know a fraction of
a percentage of what's happening with them, so be careful.
I don't don't make assumptions about what's going on with them,
and therefore charging with answers, maybe charging there subtly, but
with questions like what is going on right now? How
are you going? Like? So the question I asked this first,
I was like, how did you think that the workshop went?
(04:23):
And they were like amazing, And I was like, oh good,
good in that case, would you like my view because
as a participant, but my question to them was, what
are you seeing that made you think it was amazing?
Because I'm genuinely curious about that you They weren't lying.
They genuinely thought it was I'm like, you explain your
world and it'll make me more aware of what you
(04:43):
what signals you took in. Too many of us enter
the conversation to go so I'm going to persuade you
why I'm right and you're wrong. And that's not a
difficult conversation. That's a one way conversation. Versus, tell me
more about your situation, your world, what's going on? How
did you find that that that's bringing them into the conversation.
It's a completely different model.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
It's interesting because I can see how that can apply
to giving someone feedback. But I wonder when it is
an objectively hard conversation, like let's just say it's pay
review time. Someone hasn't hit their targets and you're there
to tell them you're not getting a pay rise for
another twelve months. Like that is not a fun conversation.
There is no way of spinning that to go? But
(05:24):
what's your perspective? Do you maybe think this is the undestading?
How is it different in those instances where I think
we can agree this is objectively not a good conversation
to be having for anyone.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Maybe I'm just like an absolute narcissist, But I've had
those conversations in my career and I don't mind them
because the normal normally based off a fact like this
was your target. You did not hit that target. So
I think facts are friends. When you've got a fact,
you're like, oh, this isn't my opinion anymore. It's not
I don't think you made your target. You didn't make
your target. But you're like, cool, okay, so that didn't
(05:57):
happen and the consequences of that are and then normally
it's a reset to go. How do you feel about that?
Because I always want to check in with the person.
Does that make you feel if they're like I expected
it and you hadn't in my target, but you're like okay,
Or they're like I didn't meet it and I still
think I should have had one hundred percent pay round,
You're like, okay, that's a different problem to solve, but
I need to know your perspective is a very important
data point. But then that's a flip of a conversation
(06:20):
to go. Do you want an invite? Do you want
to have a career conversation about what thriving looks like
here and how we can work together to do that,
or don't you That's a genuine option, and because sometimes
people are like, nah, I've reached my pinnacle or I'm
done here. I don't like it and I want to
move on, Like ol, there's no point in me sugar
coating into the bad news. You're done here, and let's
have a chat about how we help you gracefully exit
(06:42):
and what's next. Or they're like, no, I'm in here's
the circumstances that meant I didn't nail it last year.
How can we have a conversation about what that looks
like if I'm thriving. I think what makes that conversation harder,
manth is how long we leave it for. It's the
time difference between missing the target and having the chata.
(07:04):
You missed the target, having that chat is in context, Hey,
who's your target? We set that's fair, Let's have a
meaningful conversation about why did you miss what the ups,
what were the downs, what the circumstances. That's a great
time to have that conversation. Three months later, when you
book a meeting with the person, that's an ambush. It's like, oh,
this is a fake complete you missed, you don't like
(07:24):
it's over, and so I don't think that's a particularly
engaging conversation. I want. I used to work with this
so bad news doesn't get better with time, and it doesn't,
but we just leave it too long with the hope
that something magical will make it better. It doesn't, so
it then feels like an ambush and it's too late.
I can't cause correct, I can't do anything different.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
I hope you enjoyed this little quick win with Dom Price.
If you'd like to listen to the full interview, you
can find a link to that in the show notes.
If you like today's show, make sure you gud follow
on your podcast app to be alerted when new episodes drop.
How I Work was recorded on the traditional land of
the Worrange, Gary people, part of the Coolon Nation
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.