304: What happens if you or your partner needs space? (ft. Jason Lange)

"Needing space within a love relationship is crucial for maintaining my identity ... It’s not merely about taking a break; it’s about preserving a sense of self that can slowly wither in the absence of such space."

So says one of our clients, eloquently speaking to the need and also the cost of not getting space when it's required.

Here we discuss both sides of the need for space -- what it's like to need it (and how to ask for it), as well as what it's like when a partner names that need. It can be confronting or even scary when a partner needs space, especially if we have a fear of abandonment. We delve into this, and how to reframe giving space as an act of love (it's said that space is the sixth love language).

We also touch on the fact that some people know when they need space, while others aren't even necessarily aware that that's what they're needing; they just know something is missing, or that they feel lackluster.

Romantic relationships tend to have certain unwritten or unspoken rules or norms, and one of my goals is to bring these into the light. I want to facilitate conscious relationship, and meta conversations (meaning talking about how we relate to one another). I hope this one sparks something in you, and look forward to hearing about it. You can always get me at dearmenpodcast at gmail dot com.

Work with us

Want to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.

To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)

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Memorable quotes from this episode:

• "It was hard for me to ask for space because I felt like I’d be hurting her."
• "Having a space of no demand on our attention is deeply restorative."
• "They have no space for themselves and wonder why they’re not feeling alive."
• "What do we want the culture and the values of our relationship to be?"
• "I trust that you’ll come back."