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February 23, 2023 35 mins

Tech Unicorn Valuations are Fake

Introduction

  • Welcome to Distilling Venture Capital.  I am your host, Bill Griesinger
  • Distilling VC is a visionary podcast that provides an insightful and informed view of the key trends affecting the VC and tech startup world.  My mission is to cut through and go beyond the hype that tends to dominate the tech landscape.  And provide you with information you can use.
  • It is your podcast for Fintech, DeFi, Blockchain and smart contracts, digital banking and all the frontier Web 3 technologies changing the financial landscape globally.

 

Hello everyone – it´s been a couple of months since my last podcast episode – I took some time off...It´s great to be back with you again.

After some thought, consideration and a couple defining events, and an announcement by Pitchbook, one of the so called data analytics firms in the VC space, I decided it was imperative that I do an episode in my Unicorn Mania series.  I´ll fill you in on the PB announcement I am referring to in a moment – it´s insane!

Before we jump into the episode though, I wanted to pay recognition and acknowledgement to a wonderful Brazilian singer and artist, Gal Costa.  My intro music and exit music is Aquarela do Brasil by Gal Costa.  Gal Costa passed away on Nov. 9, 2021.  A makpr talent in Brazil, I thoroughly enjoyed her music.  She will be missed. 

 

So, let´s jump into this edition of Unicorn Mania:

If you´ve followed this podcast in the past, you are aware that in the UnicornMania series I highlight the largely fake, deceptive valuations of VC-backed private technology companies – Which are Fondly called Unicorns...Isn´t that cute?  

For background, I refer you to my first episode in the UnicornMania series, March of 2020.  Episodes 5 and 6 also deal with this twisted freak show perpetrated by VCs, the tech & financial press and others that engage in all of this Unicorn nonsense.  I encourage you to go back to Episode 1 for insights and valuable background information as to why I categorically state and prove that tech Unicorns, a VC-backed tech company allegedly with a $1B or more valuation, are indeed mostly fake…

Let´s start off with some levity and have a little fun, shall we, at the expense of Sil. Valley VCs?  I read this a couple years ago in a CrunchBase piece;  

There´s an old joke about a new bar in Sil. Valley.  On opening day, 6,000 people showed up.  No one buys a drink.  The business is declared a roaring success!   [This joke will hopefully make perfect sense by the time we finish this episode.  Only in SV culture would the above be considered a success!  In Sil. Valley, comedy often becomes reality

 

To briefly review, let´s start with some basics I will get into in this episode:

  • So, as I just mentioned, the definition of this tech unicorn we hear so much about is:   A private VC-backed tech company with an alleged valuation of $1B or more;  I say allegedly b/c  these valuations are largely fake;  I´ll demonstrate that with conclusive evidence in just a moment;
  • VCs and others arrive at this distorted value using a completely improper, simplistic method known as the Post Money Valuation – In a moment, I´ll walk through how the Post-Money Valuation is calculated and explain why it is a completely erroneous notion of value;
  • On what basis do I call it fakery and deception?  Largely b/c it has been conclusively proven beyond a doubt based on the research;  The body of evidence comes from a Stanford Univ. GSB study called, ``Squaring VC Valuations with Reality.``  
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