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August 22, 2025 32 mins

If you keep identifying as the woman who struggles, you’ll stay stuck in that struggle.

Topics Discussed

  • Identity and subconscious patterns in infertility
  • Why control and overdoing sabotage fertility
  • Nervous system regulation and daily triggers
  • Emotional spirals, jealousy, and comparison
  • Radical responsibility in breaking fertility patterns
  • Consistency in the practices that create lasting change

You’re not infertile, you’re dealing with a fertility issue and deeper patterns of control, fear, and self-worth.

Hello, beautiful souls. Today, we’re cracking open one of the juiciest truths I wish I had known earlier in my fertility and motherhood journey: who you believe yourself to be might actually be what’s keeping you stuck. When your identity is wrapped up in “the woman who struggles to conceive,” you unconsciously broadcast that story again and again, and your body follows suit.

This episode isn’t about doing more—more diets, more protocols, more supplements. It’s about the radical shift that happens when you stop identifying with the struggle and start collapsing old patterns. From spiraling over triggers to reaching for numbing tools like wine, scrolling, or endless Googling, I’m giving you real talk on how to unhook from the stories that are stealing your energy. Think of it like finally cleaning out the emotional junk drawer—you don’t need another gadget, you need to stop digging in the same clutter.

If you’re tired of living in cycles of burnout, control freak spirals, and constant “not enoughness,” this is your wake-up call. You don’t have to be defined by a diagnosis, a failed round, or a past identity. Press play and let’s get you into the frequency of the woman who trusts her body, holds her boundaries, and stops replaying the same old tape.

Lasting change doesn’t come from doing more; it comes from dissolving the parts of you that no longer serve who you’re becoming.

Timestamps

  • 01:20 Understanding when your identity keeps you stuck in infertility.
  • 03:20 Triggers, spirals, and how to break old narratives that you identify with during your journey.
  • 07:20 How to shift your mindset and choose a new story instead of numbing patterns. 
  • 15:03 The importance of letting go of control patterns and being consistent in creating lasting change. 
  • 20:3 Unlearning people pleasing, high-achieving, and fertility burnout to rewrite your identity. 
  • 27:05 The power of healing and unhooking from identity to become a conscious mama. 

How you do one thing is how you do everything—your fertility journey is showing you the patterns that need to shift for life.

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/the-identity-trap-releasing-the-infertile-label-for-true-fertility-success 

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Message me DREAMS to access your free Fertility Breakthrough Session:

Email: monica@findingfertility.co [not .com 🤣]

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok 

 

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

 

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

 

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon  

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error,

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